


Senbazuru

by Shrineart



Series: Senbazuru [1]
Category: Ansatsu Kyōshitsu, Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Crude Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Consentacles, During Canon, Enthusiastic Consent, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Fun, Gen, Gender Neutral, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gentle Sex, I hope you like Japan because you're going to learn about Japan, I promise that's not a pun on tentacle sex these characters just really like sweets, I swear they do get there... eventually, Idiots in Love, Illustrations, Implied/Referenced Suicide, In this house Reader loves and respects Aguri, Long fic guys, Love, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Oral Fixation, POV Second Person, Possible Character Death, Practically a Japanese Tasting Menu, Ravishment kink, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sex, Skippable Explicit Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Teacher Reader, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, The most careful Dom/sub play ever, These idiots are so careful they might as well be fucking in bubblewrap, Unrequited Crush, We're 90 chapters in and have finally reached season 2, idiots to lovers, reader has a sweet tooth, slight mention of non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2020-06-27 09:15:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 124
Words: 444,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19787860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shrineart/pseuds/Shrineart
Summary: You'd been lead into another office and given a brief overview of your new job. There’d been files on each student you were you take care of which he had handed over to you. Another file you were shown but not given a copy of. A dossier on your new coworker, an unkillable creature of speed and brilliance.If it weren't for how straight laced and intense Mr Karasuma had been you would have thought you were being hazed...That had to be it, right?You'd read over the file, you'd seen the photos, you'd signed a non disclosure agreement and here, days later, you were trying to work out just what you'd gotten yourself into.Reader Is: Gender neutral, pacifist, not from Japan, Reader has a backstory, 'Reader' is used instead of Y/NExplicit scenes are skippable and gender neutral





	1. Time to Get Started

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MixterGlacia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MixterGlacia/gifts).



> Big shout out to MixterGlacia and Lampfaced for being my beta readers and encouraging me to pick up fic again after like....a decade.
> 
> Reader is Gender Neutral and referred to with they pronouns. The name used is Reader or Mx. Reader as the situation requires. (Because Y/N just doesn't work for me.) Reader is not native to Japan, is a pacifist, and is the new Health Education teacher for the class. So a sort of Nurse/Counselor. Ideally, I want to add variations of the fic for AFAB and AMAB individuals because why the hell not. 
> 
> This leans heavy into canon, both the manga and anime canon. Which means Here There Be Spoilers.  
> The NSFW chapters are COMPLETELY skippable and will be labeled so if that's not your jam you can just hop to the next chapter and not miss anything!
> 
> Basically, I'm hot for teacher and there's not enough Reader/Korosensei content so I decided to do something about it.
> 
> EDIT: [There's now a playlist! One song per chapter.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3EfiMY17N1VdJCetnDGzrC?si=xUc73aZLTG-YciHsxuBbBQ)
> 
> EDIT 2: SO a friend of mine, Norm, read the first chapter and was like "This could be a visual novel." AND THREW TOGETHER THE FIRST CHAPTER INTO A PROOF OF CONCEPT FOR ME?  
> So, if you want to check that out, I've got it up over on itch.io. You can play it in browser.  
> [ Check it out here.](https://shrineheart.itch.io/senbazuru?secret=5Jf7faizka914b3WgLqMUUSGLL8)
> 
> Check out Norm over on Twitter under the name @Norm_Wizardmoon

This mountain was going to be the death of you. Shouldering your bag, you stared up the path to the top. Who in their right mind thought building a campus way the fuck out here was a good idea? Wasn't this sort of a hazard?

Maybe that was just your out of shape bitterness talking.

You continued up the path, turning yesterday over in your mind. This job was an unexpected one, to say the least. You had been informed in no uncertain terms that you had been a last-minute hire and that there were better people than you on standby. A blow to your ego for sure but you also wondered why the school had bothered.

The meeting with your new boss had been tense, weird, and generally uncomfortable. You'd signed a ridiculous amount of paperwork and been handed off to a surly looking man by the name of Mr. Karasuma.

And that's when shit really started becoming bizarre.

You'd been lead into another office and given a brief overview of your new job. There’d been files on each student you were to take care of which he had handed over to you. Another file you were shown but not given a copy of. A dossier on your new coworker, an unkillable creature of speed and brilliance.

If it weren't for how straight-laced and intense Mr. Karasuma had been you would have thought you were being hazed.

You'd read over the file, you'd seen the photos, you'd signed a non-disclosure agreement and here, days later, you were trying to work out just what you'd gotten yourself into. 

You still weren’t entirely convinced you weren’t being hazed. Private academies still did that right? Was that a  _ thing _ over here?

The mountainside was gorgeous and if you were out on a nature walk you’d probably appreciate it more. The effort from going up the mountain did take the slight chill out of the air at least. As you topped the hill the campus that you’d been hired to care for came into view. 

Well, that was…  _ not _ what you expected. The main campus with its white walls, huge gold emblem, and imposing presence made you think there would be more of the same at its satellite campus. Instead, you found yourself facing a far more rustic building. The weeds were high as you walked through them. It was clear, from the state of things, that this schoolhouse hadn’t been tended to in some time.

“Ah, Reader, good. I was concerned you wouldn’t find the place on your own.” you turned to see Karasuma heading your way and gave a small wave.

“They don’t really do much maintenance up here, do they?”

He shook his head, “This place is considered the bottom of the barrel so to speak. It’s where the main campus sends delinquents.”

“Yeah, I was looking over the files you gave me… they don’t seem much like delinquents?”

He made a slight non-committal sound and gestured for you to follow, “Come on. It’s about time you met the octopus.”

The octopus…

You  _ really _ weren’t sure if you were being hazed.

The schoolhouse was remarkably clean if a bit worn. It smelled of floor polish, settled wood, and paper. Mr. Karasuma led you down a hall to the staff room. The door was open, four desks were arranged against the back wall in a block, facing each other in pairs. Seated at one of these desks was...

Ohhhhhkay so if this was hazing then mascot uniforms had become remarkably articulate. You wouldn’t put it past Japan, you’d seen some very intricate and interesting things here but-

“Hello! You must be the new health education teacher that was requested!” he rose up on his tentacles and you stared, he had to be at least eight feet tall. What had the document said? Seven? Eight?

“Um...” you faltered. 

You’d come here expecting a prank. 

The chances of what Karasuma had told you being the truth had been a _ bit _ further down the list.

You bowed, “Yes, I’m Reader. I’ll be handling health education from now on.”

He gave a bow as well, offering… something for you to shake. It vaguely looked like a hand? It had more feelers than his other limbs for sure. Two, actually. Feelers? Fingers? You had no idea but you accepted it. It had the texture of… tofu? Possibly one of those sticky hands you threw at ceilings as a kid? Maybe a very firm pudding? Velvety soft, mildly damp, and delicate.

He shook your hand with a grin, “And I am Korosensei, the teacher of class 3-E here at Kunugigaoka Academy. I’m glad to hear you’ll be joining us in our assassination classroom!”

His hand pulled away. As you dropped your hand to your side you rubbed two fingers together. No residue remained. 

That was an incredibly  _ weird _ texture.

“I’m happy to be here?” your brain was on autopilot at this point, this was  _ a lot _ to process. It must have shown...

_ “Nurufufufu~” _ the laugh just elevated the weirdness, “It seems you’re a _ touch _ out of sorts. I  _ do _ tend to have that effect on people. Here, please, sit.”

He gestured to an empty office chair at the desk at an angle from his. You sat, placing your things down, you had so many questions and _ no idea _ where to start.

“I’m sure that Karasuma has spoiled my fun and informed you of my abilities and the arrangement of this classroom.”

You nodded, looking up at him.

“Well then, let me just say that I will be happy having another pair of hands in assisting with the well being of my students. As I understand it this particular campus has never had its own health education teacher before.”

“The Ministry of Defense decided it would be a good idea and as I understand you have emergency training.” Karasuma looked at you for clarification.

“Yes, I keep my certifications up to date.”

As if that mattered.

There was a giant yellow octopus in front of you.

“Excellent.” Korosensei’s tentacle… hands clasped together in front of him, “I would be interested in picking your brain about that topic at a later time but for now it’s time for class. Let’s introduce you, shall we?”

You nodded, rising to your feet. 

_ Jeez _ , he was _ huge _ . 

As you moved to leave you glanced at Karasuma. He mouthed “Good Luck.” and went to sit at his own desk, the one next to yours.

You followed the inhuman teacher down the hall to the classroom. Inside you could hear the children chatting amongst themselves, the shuffling of classroom preparation and the like. Korosensei slid the door open and made his way to the podium. You took up position next to him, still coping with the reality of what was happening. The students were eyeing you curiously.

_ You. _ Not the _ octopus _ next to you.

“Good morning class!” he beamed at them, “Before we get started, I’d like to introduce you to your new health education teacher.  _ This _ is Mx. Reader.”

Several pairs of eyes were on you now, sizing you up. You were rattled by the morning's events but pushed through to introduce yourself.

You gave a bow to the class, “Good morning, everyone. They told me your campus hasn’t had a health education teacher before. I promise I’ll try to do my best for you. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

The students were surprisingly friendly for supposed delinquents. They seemed excited at the prospect of another teacher at the campus. One of the girls, a perky thing with orange hair asked where you were from. Before you had time to answer Korosensei chuckled, “There will be  _ more _ than enough time to ask Mx. Reader about their origins but for now. It’s time for roll call.”

You were grateful for that. You  _ really _ needed a minute to adjust.

You gave a small wave and headed out into the hallway, pausing when you heard a bit of a ruckus behind you. Peeking back into the classroom you saw Korosensei flickering in and out of existence. It took you a moment to comprehend what was happening because it was going so  _ quickly _ . The students were shooting bb guns at him and he was, apparently, flawlessly dodging them.

While doing roll call.

He flashed you a wink.

Whelp. Okay.  _ Too much _ . He had it under control right now. You walked to the staff room and sank into your chair. Karasuma was eyeing you.

“What the  _ fuck _ is happening?” you looked over at him, “Did you guys slip me something yesterday? I felt fine this morning-”

He shook his head, “I’m afraid not. This is all real.”

You paused, remembering the sight of the new crescent moon on your way to the classroom this morning. The gravity of what he said was sinking in.

If this was real, then there was only a year left.

_ One year. _

You looked at him. As if he’d read your mind, he nodded.

“It’s insane, I know,” he stated it so matter of factly. You wanted to shake him. Insane barely scratched the  _ surface _ of this.

“Right now, this is the best we have. Trying to kill this creature before he blows up the earth. There’s not much else we can do. All previous attempts have failed. I’m sure the Ministry of Defense is still cooking up a solution but that’s above my pay grade.”

“Why does he want to do this? The teaching, I mean.”

“No idea. Figuring out what motivates the octopus is something we’re all working on. You included.”

Sighing, you leaned forward, resting your head on your arms, “I know. You made the whole information gathering thing pretty clear back at the campus.”

“A decent exchange for keeping that sense of morality of yours intact.”

“I just… I don’t feel comfortable killing someone.”

“Makes sense. Most people don’t.” he tacked away at his keyboard, no longer focused on you.

“Reports I can do though. You said daily, yes?”

“Preferably.”

“Right...” You got up, “I’ll go take stock of the nursing office then. See if there’s anything we need.”

He didn’t respond. You walked down the hall to the sounds of laughing children and slithering.

And so began the start to the most unconventional school year you would ever teach.


	2. Savage Youth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just in case it isn't clear. Reader has joined the classroom between episodes 2 and 3 in the show. Between chapters 3 and 4 in the manga.
> 
> [Click here to read Korosensei's POV on this chapter.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/48543074)

It had been a long day. You sat at your desk going over requisition forms for the nurse’s office. The place had been used for classroom storage and you’d spent most of yesterday clearing it out with Karasuma’s help. Today you’d waded into the process of organizing what supplies there were and had found that the office was woefully understocked. A number of items were expired, some things that should have been in stock simply  _ weren’t _ . You had no idea how much of this the Ministry would be willing to shell out for but you hoped it was a decent amount, especially given that grenade story Karasuma had told you about. The children being willing to injure themselves for the reward was a concern. Just because this teacher had been able to keep the children safe before didn’t mean there  _ wouldn’t _ be a time he would slip up.

You sat back for a moment, stretching. There were flares of fiery panic which would surge up in your chest when you thought about the prospect of the world ending. A fight or flight response that froze you if you thought too long on it. You were distracting yourself from this by throwing yourself into the work, contacting family more, and other things. 

It was working... 

For the most part.

The sounds of the kids going through their exercise regimen drew you out of your thoughts. Looking outside, you saw Karasuma supervising the children on hand to hand combat drills. Not exactly distracting from the “end of the world” scenario but still more interesting than filling out forms.

You hadn't expected Karasuma to be the PE teacher but it was apparently something decided on before your hiring. Off to one side, in a sandbox, was Korosensei messing about in the sand. You supposed he had nothing better to do with his time. He had popped by the office earlier to see if you had needed help with anything but you’d been in the middle of sorting. You’d had him move a few items for you which he was frighteningly quick about. Then you’d sent him off while you got back to work. He'd been the same as yesterday. Friendly, cheerful, and boisterous.

Reaching into your bag, you retrieved the journal you’d purchased for your log and opened it up. In the time you’d done that he had built a complicated sandcastle, changed outfits, and made tea. Observing him was going to be  _ difficult, _ to say the least.

Already your notes were rather sparse. You looked them over.

_ "Korosensei" - Humanoid octopus? No observable octopus anatomy. Tentacles aren't even similar? _

  * _Moves faster than the human eye can track - Karasuma says Mach 20_


  * Friendly - has been very welcoming. Seems aware of his appearance’s effect on others. Has been helpful.


  * Eccentric - observed building sandcastles, making tea, dressing in various odd costumes, and other odd behaviors


  * Changes colors? What's that about? It doesn’t seem to be camouflage. Is he a mood ring?



You sighed, this wasn't going to cut it was it? Well, it was only your second day. Recon takes time.

PE instruction seemed to be ending with the students breaking formation and heading back to the building. You paused, hearing a door slide open. None of the students had made it to the schoolhouse yet. Who…?

A red-headed student strolled down the back steps towards the field.

That’s right, Karasuma had mentioned that a new student was scheduled to arrive today. Korosensei moved to greet him, his usual jovial self. In the midst of greetings, the student charged him, the teacher darting aside-

Your stomach turned.

One of his tentacles was liquified, portions dripping onto the ground. 

What the  _ hell? _

Your initial instinct was to get the first aid kit, but before you could move Korosensei had regrown his limb and the redhead was heading back to the schoolhouse.

The students talked amongst themselves as they made their way back to class. You listened trying to glean information. Karasuma joined you in the staff room not long after.

“What happened out there exactly?”

He straightened his tie, taking his seat, “One of the students finally managed to get a hit on him.”

“The newcomer?”

“Karma Akabane, yes.” he opened his laptop, “We’ll have to keep an eye on him. He seems promising.”

You jumped at a commotion from the classroom, Korosensei shouting and what sounded like balloons popping. It wasn’t the bb guns.  _ That _ sound you were slowly becoming accustomed to. You rose from your seat to investigate but paused when you heard the classroom door slide open Akabane stepped into the doorway. 

“Peace out for now, teach. Whaddya say we play again tomorrow?” 

The door slid shut and the new student strolled by you with a slight nod, a relaxed expression on his face.

Peeking into the window of the classroom revealed tense expressions all around, even from the ever grinning Korosensei. You definitely had questions. Perhaps you could check in with him after the rest of the class had left. Or perhaps asking a student would be better. Either way, it would get you more details for this report you had to send in. That  _ might _ sweeten the deal on making sure all of your requisitions were supplied.

You waited for the students to meander out of the classroom, preparing to head home. Korosensei was nowhere to be seen. You assumed he’d left again on one of his quick jaunts across the globe. 

Another one of those facts you were still trying to cope with.

Students it was then. You looked over the clusters of children heading down the hall. Following them outside, you located a few whose names you remembered.

“Kanzaki! Yada!”

The two turned, surprised.

“Mx. Reader?” Kazaki paused, waiting for you to approach, “Is something wrong?”

“No, no,” you jogged lightly over to them, “I just wanted to ask about what happened in class earlier.”

Both students looked a touch uncomfortable.

“Well, Mx. Reader, Karma hurt Korosensei.” Yada supplied.

Kanzaki expanded on the damage and how Akabane had gone about it. BB’s made of the one material that could harm him strewn across the floor while Karma baited him with bad behavior. 

You made a mental note: It seemed that Korosensei had a blind spot when it came to distractions.

"Thank you, girls. I wasn't really sure what had happened. I only heard the commotion."

The two nodded to you, heading off down the path.

You returned to your office surprised and a little troubled. What sort of kid was Akabane if he not only managed to damage this unkillable creature but was also willing to do so so readily? Karasuma had left you the boy's file so you opened it, reading over the contents. 

Hooooo boy… there was a lot in there. How could a kid have a file this thick in Middle School? Aggressive behavior, attacking other students, violence, detention, suspension… and shockingly good grades. Smart  _ and _ vindictive it seemed. Like Karasuma has said, he was worth keeping an eye on, though you would be on the lookout for his behavior harming others. Perhaps with the outlet of training for an assassination, he’d be less aggressive but…

You shook your head to yourself. You’d seen things like this work. Problem kids going into things like JROTC in the States and coming out with better behavior and less aggression. It still felt strange though, especially given the encouragement to murder a member of the faculty.

With a sigh, you closed the folder and turned your attention to your daily report. Seemed you had more to tell them than you expected.

The next day you came prepared for possible injuries and nonsense. You kept an ear out throughout the course of the day but the majority of what you heard was Korosensei’s lessons and the occasional amused reprimand of the new student. You were surprised how quickly the octopus had recovered from yesterday.

Around fourth period someone peeked into the faculty lounge.

“Mx. Reader?”

You looked up from the requisition forms you were finalizing to see one of the girls. Chubby with brown hair and a warm smile. You paused, trying to recall the name. Clearly you were taking too long because she started to speak up and you held up a hand, “Hold on, I’ll get it… Hara...?”

She smiled with a nod, “Korosensei wants you to help us with Home Ec set up.”

"I can do that." You followed her into the classroom and assisted in arranging the tables and setting up the gas stovetops. The students were lively and joking amongst themselves. Today seemed  _ much _ more relaxed than yesterday, thank goodness.

After set up was complete and all students were prepared, you moved back across the hall. Akabane had seemed a bit sulky from what you had seen. You heard a few outbursts and laughter during the period and breathed a sigh of relief.

The rest of the day flew by without a hitch. You finally filed your requisition forms, you typed your daily report, and you found a spot in the nurse’s office where water from a leak had damaged the floor. You put a request for repairs in your requisitions too though you didn’t know how far the government would be willing to go in that regard.

The school day ended, you packed your bags and headed down the mountain, satisfied that today had been less concerning than yesterday. It was a nice day, the chill of early spring was fading but the overcast sky wasn’t helping much.

You paused in your trip, taking a moment to breathe. Would this mountain  _ ever _ get easier? You glanced back up the path, curious to see how far you were from the campus. No luck given the trees. You stopped at a nearby rock and looked around, no one was watching to see you if you made a fool of yourself…

Scrambling up carefully, you stood on it. It wasn't huge but it was large enough that you could make out the campus… and the long path down. Still at least half of the hike left to go. You sighed. This was going to take a lot of getting used to…

You turned your attention back to the campus, spotting a familiar mop of bright red hair. What was Akabane doing? The boy was dangerously close to the edge of the cliff he mig-

You watched in horror as the redhead fell backwards off the cliff. You were sure you cried out but what you shouted you had no idea. You saw a streak of yellow that you assumed was Korosensei but you were immediately sliding off the rock and running up the mountain.

What was wrong with the boy? Had the loss to his teacher been that hard on him? His file had said he lived a rather lonely life at home and he was acting out. Perhaps this was a culmination of unanswered cries for help? You kicked yourself, you should have caught this. This was literally part of your job description. You tripped and tumbled, grimacing at the burning pain of banging yourself against the trail. That was going to sting tomorrow. You got up and kept going, reaching the top of the path brimming with concern….

Just as Akabane and Shiota came strolling past…

"Whoa, teach you look like hell…" this very not dead student sounded calm… if a little confused.

Shiota, meanwhile, was alarmed, "Mx. Reader! You're bleeding!"

You looked between the two of them bewildered before settling your attention on the redhead, "I saw you fall…"

"Oh, that?" He chuckled, "Just another plot against the octopus. He was one step ahead as always…" he smirked then paused, cocking a brow, "You ran back up the mountain just for me? Aw, you shouldn't have." 

His voice held a certain measure of mirth to it. Your legs felt a little weak from the adrenaline.

"Do not  _ ever _ pull something like that again, Akabane." You tried to look stern but you were sure, with your dirt-covered front and wobbly legs that you didn't come across as such. 

He waved a hand, "Sure thing, teach."

Korosensei had materialized next to you and you nearly jumped out of your skin when he spoke, "Karma and I have talked about it, Mx. Reader. I'm certain he'll be  _ much _ more interested in class participation now."

Akabane flashed a cocky smile then paused, a slight crease of worry on his face, "Might need to patch yourself up before you head home, doc. That cut doesn't look too good."

Cut…?

_ Shit.  _

You finally registered something warm and wet trickling down your neck. You glanced down and saw the front of your shirt dotted with red and felt another drip fall from your chin. Running a hand over your face you winced as your fingers grazed a small gash on your chin.

"I'll take care of it." You moved to staunch the flow of blood with your sleeve. The _ one day _ you  _ didn't _ pack tissues...

A handkerchief was pressed into your hand by a tentacle, you glanced at Korosensei with a nod and pressed it to your chin, "I'm just glad you're alright, Akabane. But please, no more stunts like that one. I don't know if my heart or my face can take it."

He smirked, "I'll try, doc. It's Karma, by the way. Only the main campus assholes call me Akabane."

You gave a small nod, “Karma, then.”

Shiota looked at you, concern painting his features, "Will you be alright, Mx. Reader?"

"Not to worry. I'll make sure Mx. Reader’s injury is tended to!" Korosensei placed a hand on your shoulder, "You two be careful on your walk home. I think we've seen how dangerous the trail can be today."

Shiota looked between the two of you and nodded, "Alright…"

You were guided back inside by a tentacle as the boys disappeared over the top of the trail.

"Now, Mx. Reader, your actions were admirable but please remember that if you put yourself in danger then you risk not being able to help our charges at all."

He sat you down in your office and you made a face. You were being lectured by an octopus. 

This felt like an after school special.

"I saw him fall and just ran… how did you stop him anyhow?"

"I caught him, of course. One of the many benefits of Mach 20 speed and flight." He began pulling out bandages, ointment, and such. There wasn't much left. You sighed. Your body was still shaky from the scare and it was frustrating.

"Besides, you let panic do the thinking  _ for _ you. If the boy had really fallen wouldn't the more prudent idea be to rush to the spot where he  _ fell _ than the place he _ leapt from? _ "

_ Goddammit. _

"...I didn't think of it."

"It's very easy to get caught up in a moment." He sat in front of you, and gently pulled your hand from your face, "But it can come with a steep price."

He ran a damp cloth over your chin, cleaning the wound and handed the cloth over. You used it on your neck where blood was drying. His tentacles worked deftly, smearing ointment, covering the gash, and securing the bandage. He was close to your face and you took a moment to get a good look at him while his focus was elsewhere.

His eyes were small and deep-set, his grin wide but without humor, you could see two small pits near his eyes… was he like a snake? Did he have heat sensors?

"There. Thankfully, it looked much worse than it was. No stitches required." He sat back, "Please be more careful, Mx. Reader. I don't think our students want to lose another teacher."

" _ Another _ teacher? They haven't gotten you yet have they?" you smirked just a bit and immediately regretted it as the bandage shifted against your chin.

Ouch.

He paused, his expression unreadable and you felt like he was weighing his response, "That is true. Not quite yet."

You ran a thumb over the bandage, "You know, this is kind of my job."

He sputtered, seemingly embarrassed, "I was just trying to help! You seemed in shock."

You chuckled, "You were right. I was…” this was so strange… “Thanks for patching me up."

"You're welcome." There was something in his tone. A certain sort of warmth you hadn't heard before. At least not directed at you. 

Before you had time to ponder that, he stood. 

"Now, let's see about getting you home, shall we?"

You nodded and got to your feet, the train trip was going to be exhausti-

"Your address in your faculty file is current, yes?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, it is why?"

"I imagine you'll be getting home late if you leave for your train now so allow me to fly you home."

"What?"

“I can fly you home. You’ll get there much faster than the train and with better scenery.”

You paused. Heights were not your strong suit. The flight to Japan had been anxiety-inducing to say the least.

“Fly?” 

“Well, yes, I can carry another person with me.”

Of course he could. You looked down at your bloody front and made a face, staying to clean up would mean being later. Getting on the train like this would be...not great. On the flip side he was talking about flying NOT inside of a plane but being held in the air you assumed. Was he going to Superman you? How would this work? You, oddly enough, didn't find yourself concerned about the idea of him being dangerous. On the surface he seemed about as dangerous as a kids toy.

After weighing your options you looked back at him, “If you even  _ think _ of dropping me the kids will be the _ least _ of your worries when it comes to assassination.”

He laughed, green lines circling his face, “Oh my, Reader was that a  _ threat?! _ And I thought you were a pacifist!”

Before you could reply you were very abruptly bundled up within his robes. Not… how you expected this would go but you supposed trussed up in his robes like this with tentacles holding you would certainly prevent you from fall-

He took off and every single thought you had about this remotely being safe flew out the window. 

A very embarrassing shriek came out of you. He chuckled above you and looked down, “You’re perfectly safe, Reader. Think of it as a rollercoaster but with better company.”

You had your eyes screwed shut for a minute or so but when you finally cracked one open… ohhh god you were so high up, too high up. You shut your eyes again for a minute or so more, working up the courage to look again. 

You could do this. 

You were okay…

When you did manage to open your eyes again you were  _ astounded _ by the view. It was one thing to see Japan through a tiny airplane window when you were groggy and half-dead from a long flight. It was something completely different to see it in a full, wide, beautiful open space with the sun shimmering through the clouds. You relaxed, just a small amount, something you found easier to do as you were being firmly held.

“See?” he beamed at you, “It’s beautiful.”

“It is...”

He swooped down over your district and settled before your apartment doors. You were swiftly unbundled. 

It took a moment to steady yourself. Two adrenaline rushes in a short time had your body feeling like jello. You looked up at him, he stared back at you, eternally grinning.

“You were right,” you admitted, “That was faster than the train.”

His grin widened. Okay so, uh… that was possible. One more thing for your notes you guessed.

“And the view was better.”

His chuckled, tentacles waving in excitement, “I’m glad to hear it. Now, rest up! Remember, tomorrow is another day of teaching!”

You smiled, the cut on your chin stung under the bandage, “I’ll see you then. Thank you.”

He was off like a shot and you headed inside. The day hadn’t been as relaxed as you thought after all. Your report would have to be sent in from home…


	3. Chocolate

It was a lovely day. Warm and sunny with a touch of wind. Clouds drifted lazily across the sky. You brought your bento with you outside and plunked yourself on the steps leading up to the schoolhouse. The students were, for the most part, indoors having their own lunches. 

Being around both the faculty and the students was nice but you still felt a bit out of place. You were, after all, a new addition to the staff and not inherently needed. Everyone was nice enough but clearly still sorting you out. You'd had your hands rather full with getting the office in order. And not participating in the assassination attempts had certainly othered you quite a bit. 

Your reaction to Karma’s assassination attempt, however, had  _ definitely _ been noticed. Several students remarked on your bandaged chin and a few seemed more apt to come to you for things when they were needed without Korosensei asking them to first. It was progress, but it would take time to find your stride with everyone.

There was plenty of time for fretting about your social standing later though, right now you had a date with your lunch.

You opened your bento carefully, your mouth already watering. You'd run out of the house this morning only managing to grab a piece of fruit on the way. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out your drink and removed your chopsticks from their holder. It had taken a bit of time to adjust to using them but you were now able to navigate dishes with relative ease. In an effort to wean yourself off of convenience store meals you’d started, slowly but surely, learning recipes. Today’s meal was karaage, tamagoyaki, a small salad, grapes, and… a bag full of Japanese snacks. You were a sucker for snack food in general but living in Japan had exposed you to a variety of delicious choices and it was hard for you to leave shops without at least a small bag.

You tucked into the meal. It wasn’t the best thing you’d ever made. It was still your early attempts and you couldn’t quite get the tamagoyaki right but it was still satisfying. 

You pulled one of your snacks out of the bag. It was definitely time for dessert. You had barely popped the top of the box when-

“Pardon me, Reader, but are those Takenoko No Sato you have there?” 

You nearly jumped out of your skin, you hadn’t heard him arrive but the primary teacher of E class had appeared behind you, leaning down into your view.

“Huh?” 

You were eloquent, as always.

“Takenoko No Sato.” a tentacled appendage gestured to the box in your hands, “The bamboo shoot cookies.”

“Oh, yeah. I get these a lot.” you laughed a bit, “They’re nice when I’m craving chocolate.”

“Could I have a few?” his tone shifted in an endearing, almost childlike way.

You offered him the box, “Take it, I’ve got another.”

You had never seen a more excited octopus.

You’d noticed he had a fondness for sweets before but this was legitimately adorable.

_ Adorable _ ? Okay then. You would just file that particular thought away for later review.

He proceeded to enthusiastically launch into a history lesson of the snack while periodically popping one into his mouth. You listened with interest while working your way through your own box. He somehow found a way to make  _ everything _ fascinating. 

“There’s quite the rivalry between fans of the Takenoko No Sato and the Kinoko no Yama, both have their merits but I, for one, am in the bamboo camp.” his grin widened and he chuckled waving one of the bamboo cookies idly in his tentacle.

“The Kinoko no Yama are those mushrooms yeah? The chocolate caps with the little cookie stems?”

“Correct!” his face turned bright red with a dark circle marking on his face, “A  _ touch _ too much chocolate for my taste. The balance in these” he punctuated this by tossing another bamboo cookie into his mouth, “in my own opinion, is far superior.”

You chuckled a bit, “If it’s sweet I’m always up for it.”

“I have some lovely suggestions for eateries if you would like! There’s a cafe with  _ wonderful  _ honey toast nearby!”

Tentacles waved about happily around him and you smiled.

“That would be great, actually. I’m still trying to get the hang of cooking things at home-”

Magically, a stack of papers appeared in your hands. A cursory glance showed that it was a list of local restaurants and cafes complete with ratings, price range, and suggested menu items.

He’d written this in  _ seconds _ .

_ Less _ than seconds.

“I’m still getting used to you doing things like that...”

His distinct laugh sounded, “It is  _ quite _ efficient if I do say so myself.”

Rings of green showed up on his face. The circle you understood but this one you still hadn’t memorized. Karasuma had mentioned that Korosensei showed his expressions easily and one of the children had mentioned giving you a cheat sheet but you hadn’t gotten one yet.

"I take it that your chin is healing well?"

You nodded, "Though coming home with a bloody shirt scared some of the little old ladies in my building."

He chuckled, "I imagine."

"They were nice about it though when I explained. Told them a friend drove me home."

"A _ friend? _ " He sounded amused, almost teasing.

"Yes. Pretty sure anyway." You gave him a smile and then the bell rang.

“Ah, unfortunately, lunchtime is over.” he rose to his feet… tentacles? “Thank you very much for the snack and the company, Reader.”

You nodded, “Anytime.”

He headed back inside and you packed up your own things. 

When you'd been told there was a creature teaching this class you had never expected someone that looked like a prefecture mascot. It was still jarring to see him around the campus and you had to keep reminding yourself that he was, in fact,  _ not _ a person in costume. You had to admit though, that while his size and speed could be unsettling, he was quite approachable and kind. And gentle… you ran a thumb across the bandage on your chin, thinking of your unconventional trip home the other day.

_ A friend... _

You were still baffled as to why he was threatening to blow up the planet. It also made you a good measure of nervous. You weren’t fond of the idea of the world ending come spring.

Then again, who would be?

Maybe you could find out why he was planning it before then...

As you headed back to the faculty lounge you heard him starting up his next lesson with extra enthusiasm.


	4. Consentacles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accusations of non-con in this chapter. Just a heads up.  
> To check out Korosensei's view on this click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/48627233).

You were early. It gave you time to check your email and see if the government had granted any of your requests. You were surprised to see that they had. Well, a good  _ portion _ of them anyhow. The repairs had been denied. You made a face at that. Some of the pricer items had been denied but you could purchase some of those yourself if needed. You made a list of what to pick up and faltered as you heard a female voice from the hall. Not one of the kids... older and with a slight accent. You looked up as Korosensei passed by the door a very slinky blonde woman wrapped around his arm. Karasuma followed gesturing for you to join them...

Well… this was  _ something _ .

You followed them into the classroom and stood with Karasuma near the front.

Korosensei was  _ clearly _ enamored with the attention of the blonde. It was amusing and a reaction you hadn't see from him. Something about this powerful creature having very human foibles made him seem more cute than dangerous. It all just sort of added to the mascot image in your head.

“Okay, look alive people,” Karasuma addressed the class, “Meet our newest edition to the E-Class faculty.”

“My name is Miss Irina Jelavic, nice to meet you all!” her voice was chipper and as she spoke you couldn’t help but notice her ample cleavage bounced.

She just… had that stuff out front and center.

Little weird for a middle school teacher.

She fawned over Korosensei while Karasuma explained that she was to assist with English courses. The octopus had gone a bright pink, his face reddening in a very human blush.

Irina Jelavic. English Professor. Well, that was… pretty weird. You were surprised at how many staff they'd hired so far. Would there be more before the end of things?

After the introductions class started up as usual. Today’s lesson was outdoors, something about hand-eye coordination. You’d seen Korosensei and the children head out tothe field. The class was, of course, trying to kill him. Karasuma and Irina were standing at the windows watching. You joined them in time to hear Irina, her voice suddenly blunt and harsh, saying, “Apparently the art of seduction works just as well on  _ whatever the hell he is _ .”

Hoooo boy.

She lit up a cigarette and took a draw from it before glancing over at you, “Didn’t know there was another member on staff.”

Karasuma nodded, “Mx. Reader is our health education teacher.” you gave a small bow, “They’re not assisting in the assassination on the grounds of morals.”

Irina laughed giving you a look, “Morals. _ Adorable _ . Well, I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of one another. This is going to be over quick.”

“As good as you are we can’t just drop you into this and expect the usual tricks to work." Karasuma side-eyed her, "I know deep cover is your specialty but this time you’ll actually have to teach.”

Irina headed out into the foyer, “Ha! As if I’ll be here long enough. I’m a _ professiona _ l. The octopus will be pushing up daisies before lunch.”

You watched as she practically pranced down the steps calling for Korosensei, her fawning act back in place.

“Is it really deep cover if she acts like that?”

Karasuma looked over at you, surprised, “Hm?”

“It’s a bit over the top. He saw through Karma pretty quick and there’s already been some big changes in his attitude in the classroom from what I’ve seen. I don’t think this will work.”

“She’s a professional assassin.” Karasuma’s voice was even, his eyes focused on the field where Irina was now addressing the children while smoking a cigarette. “Infiltration is her game.”

“...she doesn’t seem to be taking it very seriously.”

He chuckled, “Says the pacifist?”

“I still have  _ eyes _ . What’s to stop either of us from telling him she’s a plant?”

The look he gave you was stern.

“I’m just saying that it’s not very good cover if you out yourself to everyone around your target. It would be better for everyone to think you were just another teacher.”

He gave you a look, raising an eyebrow.

You started to head back to the faculty lounge before hearing the children shouting. You paused and went back to the window to see Irina addressing the class while some men approached the building.

“What’s all that about?”

Karasuma shrugged, “I’m sure it’s to do with whatever her plan is.”

“Hm...” you ducked back into the faculty lounge. You had a bad feeling about how this might play out and you were hoping the kids wouldn’t be involved.

Not long after, Irina strutted into the room and took up stance impatiently by the door. You glanced up at her, curious. She caught your eye and smirked cockily.

At that moment, Shiota walked in. He gave you a small wave and looked to Irina, “I have the information you asked about.”

Whelp.

So much for the kids not being involved…

You turned your attention to your computer but kept an ear out listening and recording some notes for your report based on Shiota’s information. The speed you knew, the tentacles regeneration you’d seen, good sense of smell was new though.

Irina left not long after, you assumed to start class. If she was going to. She seemed determined not to.

So… a grenade hadn’t worked from what Karasuma had said and Karma had managed to be very creative with knives but it hadn’t killed Korosensei. You wondered what a professional might try and made a face. The kids weren’t skilled in this. She apparently was. Were you going to need to worry about the kids getting caught in a landmine or accidentally shot? 

There was yelling from the classroom. You listened carefully.

“THE NAME IS JELA _ VIC _ UNDERSTAND?! JELA- _ BITCH _ IS WHAT I’LL BE IF YOU DON’T GET THE DIFFERENCE THROUGH YOUR THICK, PREPUBESCENT SKULLS!”

You snorted, trying to stifle your laughter. As much as you hadn’t bonded closely with the kids you had to appreciate their skills at getting under someone’s skin. You had a feeling that name was mostly Karma’s doing.

Nicknames seemed to be one of his things.

Later in the day Korosensei returned, he’d apparently run an errand for Irina. Something about tea. He was breezing about the lounge and occasionally checking the clock during lunch.

“Got somewhere to be?” you asked, stuffing a piece of your tonkatsu in your mouth. Mm… too heavy on the sauce. Dammit.

“Oh, nowhere right now. Miss Irina has asked me to speak with her privately later.”

You stared at him. He was pink, his face bright with blush. He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

“Yeaaaaah?” you dragged the word out, curious to see what else he’d say if given the chance.

“I think she might be  _ interested _ in me.” he said it with all the excitement of a schoolgirl.

“Ya think?” you laughed, shaking your head, “Maybe? Just  _ maybe? _ ”

He sputtered, “It’s perfectly  _ normal _ for two adults to express an interest in one another!”

You raised an eyebrow, “So, you’re interested in her too?”

“Well, of course.” he looked at you and chuckled, green rings going around his head as his tone went extra nasal to accentuate what he said next, “Why? Are you  _ jealous? _ ”

“Why would I be? I’m not interested in her.”

Shock registered on his face and he sputtered more. You smirked into your bento, taking another bite as he ranted about how he clearly meant HIMSELF thank you very much.

You’d started to recognize these outbursts from him interacting with students and they were always hilarious to you. Tantrums in their own way but somehow endearing coming from him. You found yourself hoping, in the back of your mind, that maybe Irina would fail at this attempt. You’d like to see him stick around a while longer.

Hm...

Another thought to examine later.

He huffed, looking offended. He would pout all afternoon if you let him. So, you reached into your bag, pulling out a box of pocky and tossing it his way, “Peace offering.”

He perked up  _ instantly _ , “Thank you very much, Reader. I  _ humbly _ accept.”

He was smart but also… you weren’t sure what.  _ Childish _ , you supposed. You wondered if he saw through Irina’s half-assed plot or if he really was going to fall for it.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Irina leaned in the doorway, all breasts and eyelashes, “ _ Darling _ , do you think you could use that speed of yours to get us some lunch?”

Korosensei was up like a shot, “Why of course, madame, what would you like?”

They were out the door and you were left alone with your tonkatsu wondering how the government hadn’t killed this octopus yet if it was this easy.

Classes moved by slowly so you tended to other things. Occasionally Irina, Karasuma, or Korosensei would duck into the lounge. You felt like you should have more to do but until your requisitioned shipments got in, there really wasn’t much you  _ could _ do. So, you put yourself to work to pass the time, cleaning the lounge, tidying the nursing office, sorting your files. It was all busy work, but it saved time later you supposed.

The students ambled outside in their gym wear, Karasuma was running them through target practice. You watched them idly trying to put names to faces. Some of them were easy. Terasaka was fairly simple, he was distinct. Tall, broad, and with a semi permanent scowl. There was a redhead- Maehara-no, wait, Mimura,  _ that’s _ who that one was. Okajima was the only kid with a buzzcut.

Thank god hats weren’t part of the uniform because then you’d really be lost at this distance…

You were distracted by the sight of Korosensei and Irina passing by the lounge window outside. She was  _ definitely _ sticking to him. The kids had turned their attention to the pair as well. It was an unusual sight. You knew that kids in your school had always been surprised if they saw teachers with their partners. It was weird to see your authority figure in a human light. Probably  _ extra _ weird when your teacher didn't look very human. 

You wondered if Irina was going to make her attempt soon. Keeping one eye on the kids, you went back to sorting your files.

And  _ that’s _ when the gunfire went off.

You bolted out of your chair. That wasn’t the sound of bbs, that was the sound of  _ real guns _ . The class was staring in the direction of the shed, alarmed. Well, Irina had apparently decided to try her hand. You made your way outside, curious if she had succeeded. As you approached the kids you heard a scream followed by some… very  _ questionable _ moans. 

You froze. Maybe she… uh…  _ did _ like him…?

The kids immediately ran up to the shed and you joined them. 

What on earth was going on?

Korosensei stepped out from the shed, his robe now patchworked together. The kids assaulted him with questions.

Irina stumbled out of the shed wearing what you recognized as gym clothing. She mumbled about massages and tentacles before collapsing face down in the dirt.

_ Shit. _

You were at her side immediately. Gently, you put a hand on her shoulder, “Irina?”

From behind you you heard Shiota ask Korosensei what happened. His reply was “Sometimes adults need special care.”

Your stomach dropped.

Oh, what the _ fuck _ was going on?

Korosensei and the class headed back inside as you helped Irina to her feet. She was wobbly but _ incredibly _ pissed.

“Unbelievable. I’ve never been so  _ humiliated _ in all my life.”

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

She shrugged you off and nearly fell over again. You put an arm under hers to keep her steady.

“Leave off,” she shoved you off again, “I’m a  _ professional _ dammit!” she staggered a bit but found her footing, she started to storm off, “That octopus is going to  _ pay _ .”

“Irina!” you grabbed her arm gently.

She looked back at you, her face full of annoyance, “What?”

“Did he  _ hurt _ you?” You emphasized your question with a look, hoping she understood.

“Just my damn pride.” she pulled her arm back and then paused, looking at you for a long moment.

“... are you sure?”

A little bit of her bitch face settled back into place, she looked you over, the weight of your question dawning on her, “The octopus didn’t  _ molest _ me if that’s what you’re asking. I appreciate the concern but I’m fine.”

You relaxed just a bit.

“If… you need to talk to anyone, I’ll be in my office, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” she stormed back into the shed, presumably to retrieve her clothes.

That was… _ uncomfortable _ . You made your way back to the faculty lounge, troubled. What sort of teacher  _ was _ this guy exactly? Should you be worried about the safety of the students or yourself? You were going to talk to him.

You headed back to the teachers' lounge where you found Karasuma at his pc, typing. Korosensei’s voice drifted in from across the hall as he coached the children on science.

You snagged your chair, sitting next to him, “Karasuma… I’m concerned.”

He glanced at you, “What is it?”

“Korosensei was alone with Irina in that shed and… well, the circumstances were… troubling... I’m just worried he might have-”

He cut you off, catching your drift, “Pretty sure he wouldn’t. Doesn’t seem to like leaving poor impressions on the kids.”

“We don’t  _ really _ know what he’s capable of though.”

His typing paused, “That’s true but it doesn’t seem quite his character. He always does embarrassing things to assassins, you saw Karma’s nails.”

His dismissive attitude was starting to piss you off, “This seemed a _bit_ _more_ than a manicure, Karasuma.”

“Look, we can talk to them about it but at the end of the day the facts are _ this _ .” he turned in his chair and looked at you, “Even if he _ did _ do something?  _ There’s not a damn thing we can do about it. _ We’re working with the best of the best and we can’t land a hit on him. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m saying that’s where we’re at.”

That was a bitter pill. A _ really _ bitter pill. You understood.

But you couldn’t leave it unaddressed.

“I’ll talk to him after class…”

“You going to be comfortable going alone?” he looked at you seriously, measuring you up.

That was an interesting question. Would you?

_ Gentle. _ That’s how you’d thought of him before. Maybe he was and you had this wrong. You took a breath and looked at Karasuma, “Wouldn’t really matter if someone was with me or not would it?”

“If you do decide you need someone, let me know. I’ll make time.” he turned his attention back to his computer and you busied yourself with your files.

Korosensei and Irina swapped places and you immediately tailed him down the hall.

“Korosensei, a word?”

He looked back at you, grin in place as always, “Why of course, Mx Reader! Do you mind if we walk and talk? I have some tests to plan.”

You nodded, following along beside him.

“So,” he slid the doors open, stepping outside, “What is it you wanted to talk about?”

“What happened with Irina?” it came out blunt but you supposed that was for the best. Better to tackle this directly.

His response was full of amused curiosity, “She attempted to kill me and her plan was terribly executed. So I retaliated.”

“Did you  _ hurt _ her?”

He faltered and looked at you in surprise, “Reader, I may look like a monster but I assure you I wouldn’t hurt a member of our staff or class.”

You stared at him hard and, to your surprise, he actually backed away going a bit pale. Was… was he _ intimidated? _

“Her clothing was  _ changed _ .” you challenged.

“Nothing untoward happened!” he seemed legitimately alarmed and offended by your accusations.

You continued to glare at him.

“Reader...”

His tone changed, it was the gentle tone you’d heard him use a time or two with the kids. It weighed heavy with sincerity, “I would never do  _ anything _ to jeopardize this classroom or the students and faculty in it. Yes, I may enjoy embarrassing would-be assassins but I would never do anything to cause  _ harm _ to any of you.”

You wanted to deliver him. To trust him.

Fucking hell…

You pointed at him, channelling all of your anger into looking threatening, 

You still stared at him but you felt yourself soften a bit, “Good. Because if you ever do I might not be able to  _ remain _ a pacifist. Those tentacles better  _ stay _ consentacles.”

There was a moment between you two. You, still dramatically pointing, him grinning down at you. He started to chuckle and you hated your mouth and your word choices and the world in general and-

He patted your head, “I assure you, Reader. They  _ are _ consentacles. If I ever prove otherwise I’ll hand you the knife myself.”

“Good.” you tried to sound tough but you knew you were absolutely failing.

“Well, if we’re all done here, I have work to do.” he waved the tests in one hand, “Is that alright?”

You nodded and he turned, heading off to the woods. Your face was burning. Distinctly, you heard him mumbling “consentacles” to himself and chuckling.

_ Fucking hell. _

You turned and went back inside, nearly running into Karasuma with an irritated looking Irina following. Karasuma nodded to you and the pair headed off into the woods, in the direction of Korosensei. Well… you hoped  _ something _ good came out of that.

Taking your seat in the faculty lounge you added to your notes for the day. This report would be something.

A while later Karasuma came back, he gave you another nod and you saw Irina pass by the doors, heading into the classroom. Not too long after, Korosensei returned, finished tests in hand. You kept an ear out for any outbursts from class. It sounded calmer in there than before and you were surprised when halfway through, the sounds of laughter could be heard. Korosensei left the room and Karasuma followed. You listened.

The octopus sounded chipper, “She seems to be settling in nicely.”

“Eh.” Karasuma sounded unimpressed, “More or less.”

“Thank you for bringing a new teacher, Mr. Kurasama.” his voice was soft, “She’s a bit rough around the edges, perhaps, but a welcome addition to our little family, I think. Who better to spruce up the language arts syllabus than a globe trotting assassin slash temptress like her?” he chuckled, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, mental gymnastics require a tremendous amount of sugar to fuel!”

The kids were laughing, Irina was yelling, but the mood seemed overall lighter. You relaxed, just a bit, things were… weird but for the moment they seemed okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the interest and comments. It's really made my month. I've been out of the fanfic game for so long and the main hype for this series has died down so I was worried I'd be the only one interested in it!  
> <3


	5. Finding Your Stride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the warm responses to this fic! Seeing all the reactions and kudos have seriously just made me so happy. <3

There was a surprise waiting for you in your office the next day. Your requisitions had arrived. You stood in the doorway staring at the palette of supplies, "That was faster than I expected…"

"If I had to guess it would be because they’re medical supplies and considered a priority." Karasuma was standing in the hall behind you, "I think that's only the first delivery. They mentioned that another crate was coming in tomorrow."

"Another?" You went over to the palette, looking through the items, "...This is less than half the things I requested and...a lot of things I didn’t."

He came over, looking at the list over your shoulder, “I guess they decided to make some changes.”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, “Why approve things if they’re just going to do this?”

"Welcome to the government." He quipped, “Need any help unpacking that?”

“No, no. I’m good.”

He gave a curt nod and wandered off, presumably to the lounge.

You sat down your bag and opened the topmost box on the palette. Gauze, bandages, nitrile gloves...you started unpacking them onto the table.

A squadron medical kit. You paused, opening it up, eye shields, needles, splints, surgical tape, Triage tags... Efficient but definitely overkill. Also not what you asked for. With a sigh, you kept unpacking.

Looking over everything laid out on the table you made a face. It was clear they were supplying you with military surplus. Probably so they didn’t have to buy things specifically for this nonsense. There were a few medical kits that were more for field surgery than what you’d be dealing with. Some of the things made sense and would be helpful. You hadn’t thought to request EpiPens but some had been supplied in one of the kits. Other things were not so helpful. You didn’t think you were going to need triage tags, scalpels, emergency blankets, or sugar packets. Well...maybe the faculty lounge could use the sugar packets.

And somehow they forgot some of the basics. Like bandaids or ointment.

Hopefully tomorrow’s crate would have those. How they forgot those was beyond you. How the military supply packs didn’t have them was also beyond you.

Though you supposed if they were intended more for surgery that would be why.

As you started sorting you heard Korosensei’s voice a bit muffled but chatting chipperly with some of the kids down the hall. You didn’t catch all of it but there was some talk about it being cool that he was teaching them. You shook your head, putting things away. It was still bizarre to you how absolutely likable Korosensei seemed. It was hard to put that in line with “this creature blew up the moon and will probably do the same thing to Earth”.

“Hey, Reader, can I talk to you a sec?”

You looked up to see Irina standing in the doorway. Not who you expected to see. Perhaps this was about the other day... 

You gave her a nod, “Sure.”

“Do you have any ice packs in there? It’s like a sauna in this damn school.”

Oh.

“No, I’m hoping for more supplies tomorrow though.”

She sighed, “Fan-tastic.”

“Why is it so hot in here anyway?”

She cocked an eyebrow at you, “What, you didn’t notice? No AC.”

You hadn’t really thought about it given everything going on but she was right, “Why not?”

“Beats me. You'd think a school like this would keep everything pristine, right?.” she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, it's really not what I was expecting based on the main building."

“Maybe we can get some renovations in here. If the government wants us to kill the damn thing then they should at least make sure we don't melt first. I'll talk to Karasuma about it."

"Good luck, they wouldn't approve my request to fix a roof leak."

"Seriously?" She sighed, tossing her hair back, "At this rate, I might as well be showing up in a bikini.”

"Well, I mean if you wanted to be a distraction that  _ would _ certainly work."

She smirked at that.

"Well, I won’t keep you. But let me know if you get ice packs in, okay?” she waved.

You waved back, thinking over what she’d said. It was only going to get hotter as the months progressed. These kids really shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of heat…

Pulling out your journal you made a note to yourself about it, maybe you could do something to help…

You'd barely put your pen down after scribbling out a rough budget when you heard a gagging sound from down the hall, like someone retching. With this heat you wouldn't be shocked if it was one of the kids. You grabbed a towel in case it was needed and went to go check the classroom. You slid open the door, wishing you'd gotten ice packs in. Maybe there was ice in the faculty cooler…

You paused in the doorway, staring. Inside, the children were all focused with concern on their teacher who was doubled over holding some glass beakers.

“Wh-”

Just as you were about to speak Korosensei’s face with a bright blue, tiny horns adorning his head.

Oh,  _ what even. _

“Quite a kick! Sodium Hydroxide, I believe. Good try Miss Okuda. If I were human I’d most definitely have bought the farm.”

“Oh, I see...” she sounded unsure of herself.

“Shall I try the other two we have here as well?” he held up the beakers.

“Yes, please!” from her tone he might as well have been offering her cookies.

“Right! Down the hatch!” he threw back another beaker of liquid. What you assumed, at this point, to be hazardous.

You were just standing there, baffled.

“What is going on?”

Korosensei started gagging. 

One of the closest students, Isogai, turned to look at you, “Okuda is having Korosensei drink poison.”

“And he’s DOING it?”

“Apparently.”

Korosensei went a pale shade of green, wings sprouting from his head, “Thallium Acetate. Interesting...”

“Korosensei!”

He looked over at you in surprise, “Oh, Reader! Come to witness our little science experiment?” He waved a beaker, amused.

“You are drinking poison in front of impressionable children.”

He looked between you and the children, “Class, it is important to remember that while I may be your teacher I am of a vastly different makeup than yourselves. What may be lethal to you I can consume with ease.” he looked back at you, “I assume that suffices?”

“I...guess?”

“Let’s see what the last one does then!”

He knocked back the last beaker, gagging and shuddering as he did so. It seemed to take ages. Just when you were about to step in and ask if he needed assistance he abruptly stopped and straightened. His face had gone stark white with a blank expression. 

“Aqua Regia, hm? You can see the effects these chemicals have on my face.”

The class seemed as lost as you were.

“If you hate me I understand but please, don’t hate assassination." He rasped to Okuda before clearing his throat, his face returning to its normal sunshine yellow.

With a glance at you he turned his attention back to the girl, "Also, young lady, as your teacher I can’t overlook the fact that you handled toxic substances unsupervised.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” she looked down, embarrassed.

"Don't worry, I have an idea. Why don't we work together on a poison that has a little bit more of a kick?"

The girl brightened instantly, "Sure!"

"Is that wise?" You looked at him, "You just told her not to handle toxic substances."

He held up a finger, "No, I said she shouldn't handle toxic substances unsupervised. I'll be working alongside her to make sure she's following proper laboratory safety guidelines."

Okuda gave a smile.

"Alright...well ...if no one is choking or dying of poison I’m heading back to the office.."

"Ta ta!" Korosensei's chipper reply followed your exit.

You tossed the towel over your shoulder and made your way back down the hall.

It took a good portion of the day to parse out packs into their components and organize them together but by lunch, you were nearly done. And tomorrow you'd have to do it all over again. You sighed and started to head out to the stoop for lunch when a voice called you from down the hall, "Where're ya goin', doc? It's way too hot to eat outside."

You paused and saw Karma in the classroom doorway his usual smirk in place. Isogai leaned around him, "Why don't you join us for lunch, Mx. Reader?"

Karma was right, it was sweltering out and at least inside it was shaded. You flashed them a smile, "Sure."

The second you stepped into the classroom there was a gaggle of students around you. You hadn't spent much time with the students yet so the response was surprising to say the least.

"Mx. Reader! You can sit with us!" It was Kurahashi, the spunky one with the orange hair. 

"Alright."

The kids were chattering to one another about you, the day, lunch, etc. You were quickly escorted to a seat.

You found yourself parked at the end of their little collection of desks with several sets of eyes on you. This suddenly felt less like lunch and more like an interrogation…

Isogai laughed, "Come on guys give them a little space."

"What? We're just excited." Kayano piped up, she gave you a smile, "You've been disappearing before we could say anything so everyone's been curious!"

"Curious about what?" You looked around at the lot of them, baffled.

Nakamura laughed, "About you, duh!"

"You kinda just appear and disappear again, like Korosensei." Sugino chuckled, "But slower of course."

Hazama looked over at you and the group around the desks, chipping in, "And you only tend to show up when something weird is happening like some sort of omen."

You laughed at that, "I'm the health education teacher! I have to check in when I think someone's sick or injured."

Fuwa nudged Maehara, "See, I told you that's why."

"We're...not really used to that. Normally you go to the health education teacher, they don't come to you." Shiota gave you an apologetic smile.

"Is that how they do it where you're from?" Kurahashi asked.

"Not...really, no. It's just that this building is a lot smaller than previous places I've worked and I was told to keep an eye out for anything unusual."

The larger kid in the back, Terasaka if you remembered right, gave a harsh laugh, "Unusual is right."

You nodded, "It's... definitely not what I was expecting. Not to mention..." You looked over at Karma, " _ Some _ people have given me reason to be concerned."

He laughed, "Relax, doc, that's the last time I go cliff diving."

"Did you really run up the whole mountain to check on him?" Kurahashi leaned in, "Nagisa said you did."

You felt your face heat up, "It was more like halfway."

"You were a real hot mess after." Karma laughed.

"Yeah, I was. Korosensei patched me up and got me home though."

Shiota's eyes practically lit up, he looked to you, "Wait he took you home?"

You nodded, "Yeah, taking the train would have been late and, like Karma said, I was a mess."

"What did he just pile you into his secret octopus-mobile?" Terasaka snarked.

"No...he flew actually."

The kids paused, looking between each other.

"I was surprised too, trust me. But he did get me home safe."

Shiota had a notebook out and was scribbling in it, "I knew he was strong and had my suspicions but I guess that does mean he can fly off with people…"

"To his credit," you said, fishing out your bento, "he did ask permission first."

"This isn't really new. So he can carry people. Big deal. He caught me just fine." Karma leaned back in his chair looking aloof.

Shiota looked his way, "True but catching you and bringing you up the cliff and flying while carrying an adult are different things."

"Eh, I guess."

"Is there anything else you've noticed about him?" Shiota looked at you. This kids eyes could be really intense.

You opened your bento, "Well, what do you mean exactly?"

"Anything that could help us kill him."

"I haven't really been on the lookout for that, I'm afraid."

"Then your opinions on him?

You looked over at the boy, "He's fun. Very gentle for something like him. Childish. Loves sweets. And...I don't know, he seems very sincere?" You popped a grape from your bento into your mouth, "Which is all really weird since he's supposed to blow up the Earth. I keep sort of...trying not to think about that part too much."

"It is a scary idea." Kayano nodded.

"Aside from that…" you thought for a moment, "I don't really know what else to say. That's all I've got on him."

"Yeah...most of that we already know." Shiota made a face.

"He likes those chocolate bamboo shoot cookies." You offered, taking out a box of your own, "They seem to be his favorites."

"Maybe we could get Okuda to poison some, you could slip 'em to him." Karma gave you a grin. 

"Sorry kids. I'm not going to help with the assassination. Not like that anyway. If you have questions or need other info I can listen out for it but that's about it."

"Not very fair to keep all the goods to yourself, doc. I'm sure we'd split the money with you if we killed him with your info."

You looked over at Karma, "I'm not keeping anything to myself. You know as much as I do about him. Besides, I'm not here to be an assassin, I'm here to be your health education teacher."

"So you're not going to try to kill him?" Kurahashi looked at you with concern, "But he's trying to destroy the world…"

"I'm a pacifist. I don't really believe in killing people. But that doesn't mean I'll get in your way or try to disrupt things. That's my agreement with the government. I give them reports and keep an eye on the classroom and I don't have to join in on the assassination attempts."

"Less competition for me," Karma smirked.

The kids seemed a little uncertain about your response overall but that was quickly swept aside when Kurahashi asked where you were from. You spent the rest of your lunch break learning about the class and answering all their questions about your personal life. Were you married? When did you move to Japan? What was it like where you were front? How long had you been a teacher?

It was actually...kind of a blast.

The kids were all funny and wickedly clever. None of them seemed remotely like delinquents as you'd been told. They were just kids. 

It was growing easier and easier to distinguish them now that you knew more about them. Kurahashi was the nature nut, Sugino the baseball boy, Karma the troublemaker…

You gave them a comical summary of your awkward arrival. How you hadn't expected the cab's door to open automatically and it had smacked into you. Then about how you'd spent an hour trying to locate a garbage can outside to toss out a water bottle. Being extra, extra jet lagged and your eventual bout of stomach sickness from the lack of sleep and new food. They were in stitches by the end of it. You'd learned a lot since moving here and had your fair share of foreigner mistakes to tell them about.

You were all laughing and swapping stories when Korosensei came zipping back into the room in a rush of wind.

"Oh, Reader! I'm glad to see you didn't end up eating lunch alone."

"I don't think the students would have let me. Pretty sure if I'd turned them down I would have been kidnapped and forced into it."

Isogai laughed, "Aw c'mon, we’re not that bad!"

You chuckled, getting up, "No, you're not. Thank you guys for inviting me to have lunch with you. It's been fun."

"Anytime Mx.Reader!" Nakamura flashed you a smile.

"If anyone needs me I'll be in my office." You ducked out the door hearing Korosensei from the classroom.

"Alright boys and girls, are we ready for the next lesson?"

That evening you made yourself dinner. You finally got the tamagoyaki right. Sitting back, you smiled to yourself. You were making progress…

For now. Making a face, you poked at your meal thinking.

What was the point of progress if the world would end soon?

It was a lot harder to shove that idea aside without the sounds of the classroom around you. Picking up your journal, you flipped it open. You’d begun adding notes not just on the target of the classroom but also on the kids to keep track. These kids…

How were they so comfortable with the idea of the world ending? They seemed so...relaxed about it. 

Then again in your experience kids did bounce back better than adults. The advantages of youth and inexperience you supposed. Taking another bite, you sighed. You still wanted to understand this paradox of a classroom and its teacher.

_ Progress is still progress. _ You reminded yourself. Best to make what’s left of the world a good place if nothing else-

That’s right! You flipped through your journal to the budget you’d drawn up and dug around in your bag for a laptop. You had an order to place.


	6. Ain't It Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta reader squealed while reading parts of this so hopefully you guys like it as much as e does.  
> You can read Korosensei's viewpoint [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/48650246).

More crates were piled in your office when you got to work the next day. You stood in the doorway of your office looking them over. You supposed it was time to open these mystery boxes…

Someone bumped into you from behind.

“Oh! Sorry, Mx Reader!” the voice was shy. You recognized it from yesterday.

Turning, you gave a smile, “It’s alright, Okuda.”

She was carrying a beaker.

“Another poison?” you raised an eyebrow, looking at the pale burgundy liquid sloshing about.

“Yeah! Korosensei gave me a homework assignment to make it. He even gave me a guide on how to handle it properly. I think he was impressed with my work yesterday.” 

Well, that didn’t  _ sound _ like supervision but Okuda did seem to be intact.

“Maybe I should stop by again to observe, it was a pretty interesting show yesterday.”

The girl blushed and gave a smile, “I’d like that!”

You followed her down the hallway.

“Are those boxes more supplies?” she asked, looking over at you.

“Yeah, that’s what’s on my agenda for the day. Unpacking.”

“Maybe we could help you during lunch.” she offered, then faltered, “Wait, we have an assembly today.”

“Assembly?”

“Yeah. There’s a school assembly today so we have to go to the main campus during lunch.”

She sounded bummed about it and you couldn’t blame her, that hike was a pain.

You slid open the classroom door for her.

The kids were milling about the classroom, catching up with each other. Okuda went to join them and you stood by the door, watching. There was something refreshing about being around the kids. It takes your mind off the direness of the situation and gave you a feeling of nostalgia. Okuda seemed more at ease with her classmates today and you were happy about that. You remembered having your shy streaks in school and how difficult it could be.

You gave a wave to a few of the kids that noticed your presence and then the door slid open.

“Good morning everyone! Take your seats, please.” he paused, his eyes coming to rest on you, “Oh, Mx. Reader, what a pleasant surprise. Did you intend on sitting in on today’s lessons?”

“Afraid not, I have unpacking to do. Wanted to catch the morning show though.”

“Morning show?”

You gestured to Okuda who approached his desk, flask in hand, “Here it is, sir. Just like you asked.”

“Ah! Nice work. Well, here’s to your health, children. Salud!” he popped the cork and downed the poison.

The same gagging ensued as yesterday but this time he began to cackle. 

“Thank you, Okuda.  _ Thank you very much indeed _ . This concoction is precisely what I needed to  _ level up _ .”

Well,  _ shit. _

“Wait, you… I don’t-” Okuda took a step back, looking alarmed.

He started to flail his limbs wildly, yelling, and you instinctively moved forward to put yourself between him and the girl. You didn’t care if he had promised not to harm the kids, you had no idea what he’d just imbibed and you had no intention of risking it-

“Phew!”

You found yourself staring at...well, a blob. A blob with his face. You could hear distress from the class behind you. Okuda leaned around you, her eyes widening. 

“You didn’t think that was  _ a poison _ , did you? On the contrary. I had you whip up a special tonic designed to increase my fluidity!”

You jerked back, putting an arm in front of Okuda as he flew off of the podium. You couldn’t keep track as he vanished.

“In liquid form I fit comfortably into the tightest nooks and crannies.” his voice came from one of the student’s desks.

“What are you doing in there?” she looked down in disgust.

“Best of all, I lose none of my speed!” he took off again, startling the kids from their seats as he ricocheted around the room taunting them. Guns and knives were drawn but they were pretty useless in this case.

“What in the world did you give him?!” one of the girls shrieked.

Okuda pushed her way out from behind you angrily, “You tricked me! That’s not fair!”

Korosensei congealed himself in a corner of the ceiling.

_ Gross. _

“Hmmm...Fair?” he broke into a grin, “Verbal deception is a vital part of the successful assassin’s toolkit.”

You looked between him and the kids. Was he really about to use poisoning to-

“Huh?”

“What are you talking about, sir?” Nagisa stepped up beside you. Now that the action had died down you relaxed just a bit.

“Approaching the target so naively is a good way to fail in your mission. Even the deadliest of poisons is useless if one can’t persuade the mark to drink it.” he poured down from the corner, continuing, “Nagisa. Say you wanted to poison me. How might you go about it?”

He  _ absolutely _ was using poisoning as a teaching moment.

“Huh? Well, lemme think. I’d probably put it in something you liked. Then I guess I would offer it to you as a gift.”

You thought of yesterday’s discussion of the bamboo shoot cookies.

“Excellent. You see, to deceive someone you have to get inside their heads; know what they respond to. Use language  _ creatively _ .” he slinked into his clothes and popped his head out, “In poisoning, as in life, the key to success is communication.”

You made your way over to the door, leaning against the wall, he gave you a small nod.

“Imagine that one day, you make an Earth-shattering scientific discovery.” he rose up, returning to his original form, “How can it benefit mankind if it stays locked inside your head? Knowing the right thing to say can make all the difference, right?”

Okuda perked up, “Right! Thank you, sir!”

The kids seemed enlightened by this concept and pretty excited about it too. You had to admit, it was a good lesson and a nice sentiment. 

From the back of the classroom, the redhead laughed, “Nice move, Teach. Turn the tables, huh? No kidding.”

Korosensei gave a chuckle and turned his attention to you, his tone amused, “I do hope you enjoyed the show, Mx. Reader.”

“It...was certainly something.”

“Well, I think that’s enough excitement for one morning, class. Now, it’s time for roll call.”

The kids returned to their seats and you took that as your cue to head back to your office.

_ What a morning. _

Today’s crates came along more quickly than yesterday’s but you were still put out by the grab bag of items the government had sent. Burn care bandages, tourniquets, insect repellent and sunscreen, splints, medical shears, lip balm…

You sighed and leaned on the table.

No bandaids. No antibiotic ointment.

Well, at least those weren’t the pricey items…

Especially given your purchase last night.

You went back to organizing the supplies, tucking them away in the appropriate drawers and on shelves as needed.

“Reader! Hey!” Irina leaned in the office, “Where did everyone go?”

You looked up from your work, “There’s an assembly at lunch right?”

“It  _ is _ lunch. Are we supposed to be there?”

You looked at the clock. She was right.  _ Well fuck. _

“Did Karasuma go?”

“Uh, yeah. Him and the brats are gone.”

“Then uh ...yeah we probably should.”

“I can’t believe they left me!”

She headed down the hall and you followed.

“What about Korosensei?”

She looked at you like you were an idiot. You  _ were _ an idiot. Of course he wasn’t going to come to the assembly, he was a government secret. You sighed and she seemed to get the message that you understood.

After heading outside Irina was straight up running down the path. You tried to keep up but there was no way that was going to happen. How the hell was she  _ running _ in those shoes?

You’d lost sight of her but you had caught up with a couple of the kids. Mimura and Chiba if you recalled correctly. They looked at each other and then at you. You gave them a wave and they awkwardly waved in response. Irina was yelling something, you sighed and headed after her. You were out of breath by the time you reached the next group of kids. Hara looked at you with concern, “Mx. Reader? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Irina just...” you gestured down the path.

“Yeaaaaah,” Yada gave you a sympathetic smile, “She’s really fast.”

You sighed, “I wish.”

“Well, we have time to get to the assembly so it’s not like you have to rush.” Fuwa gave you a smile, “Not like it’s going to be much fun anyway.”

“Yeah, assemblies are usually pretty dull.” You remembered how much you hated assemblies in school.

“We’re going to have to deal with the rest of the school.” Hara sounded put out.

“Oh?”

“Every time we have to go to an assembly the rest of the school makes fun of us.” Yada made a face, “Since we’re E class.”

E class. You remembered Principal Asano’s speech to you about it on your hiring. That guy was... intense.

“Why are you guys in E class anyway?”

The girls looked awkwardly between each other. It was Yada who finally spoke up.

“I had to take care of my younger brother and didn’t study for a test because of it.”

You stared at her, “Really? That’s why?”

Yada nodded.

“I might have been planning out a manga in class...” Fuwa said sheepishly.

Hara crossed her arms, “I yelled at an upperclassman for calling me fat.”

“...None of those things are that bad.”

Yada shrugged, “That’s not what the school thinks.”

You thought about this as you walked with them. Asano had implied to you the kids were trouble. Karasuma clearly thought otherwise and given your interactions with them you were inclined to agree with him over the principal.

This system was pretty messed up. You hadn’t really had time to think about it, things had been a bit of a blur since your hiring and you’d had a lot to cope with. What sort of school did this to kids though?

“Well, the school has some messed up ideas about how to handle its students.”

The girls looked between each other again. Your foreigner was showing, you were pretty sure. Critiquing the school that harshly wasn’t exactly how one should talk to the students. But it was true.

“It’s just one lunch period.” Yada said, “We can manage it.”

“Well, if you ever need to talk about it, you can always talk to me.”

“Thanks, Mx. Reader.”

When you finally reached the main campus you found the kids all out of breath, some sitting on the tarmac, leaning forward, resting. Irina was on her knees panting.

“So uh...you bolted down here.”

She looked sidelong at you, “This mountain sucks.”

You weren’t really sure how  _ running _ down it really...helped that situation? But okay then.

“Hurry up people! We gotta get in line before they start.” Isogai looked over at the others.

There was a chorus of groans and agreements as the kids pulled themselves up and headed inside. Karasuma looked over at you and Irina, he didn’t look particularly thrilled to see either of you. Then again he didn’t look particularly thrilled to see anyone at any time.

“I’ll see you both inside.”

You nodded and looked over to her.

She waved a hand, “Go on without me...I’m just going to die here.”

“Well, if you hadn’t run down the mountain like that.”

She huffed and got up, dusting herself off. You went ahead and headed inside.

The gymnasium was full of students in rows. You immediately spotted the class, they stood out drastically given half of them weren’t wearing jackets. You couldn’t blame them, it was broiling out there.

Karasuma was talking to Nakamura and Kurahashi about something. There were some stares your way at first but eyes were off you nearly immediately and you heard murmurs. Looking back you saw Irina waltzing her way across the gym towards you. You gave a wave. She gave you a cocky smirk in response. 

Karasuma had taken up a position along the wall. You both joined him.

“What are you two doing here?” he glanced at you both.

“I thought it was required?” you looked at him awkwardly, “I mean, we are teachers.”

“Yes, but-”

“Don’t even try to pull rank. We’re educators just like you are.” she pointedly didn’t pay attention to him as she spoke over his objection.

He gave her a harsh glance, “So you’re finally embracing your role?”

“Or, I just need an excuse to scope out the student body.”

She looked out at the assembly, clearly unimpressed, “Me-ow. Said nobody ever.”

You glanced at Karasuma. He gave a small sigh.

“Oh, that’s right.” she approached the class to speak to Nagisa.

You turned your attention fully to Karasuma, “Were we really not supposed to come?”

“It’s not required though I imagine the students appreciate it.” he kept his eyes fixed on the group, Irina specifically.

You heard Nagisa yelling and Karasuma left his post, dragging Irina back to the wall with him, “Can you be a little less conspicuous?”

“I was just trying to check in on information.” Irina practically pouted.

You were starting to get the gist of why Karasuma maybe didn’t want you both here.

“Uh, excuse me, sir? E class didn’t get the handouts.” Isogai has raised his hand, addressing the speaker at the podium

“Oh. Wow, really? That’s kind of bizarre. Huh. I’m so sorry. I thought  _ for sure _ we printed enough for everyone! Guess E Class will just have to memorize it off their neighbors’. That works out for the best, really. I mean, you people could use the mental exercise I’m guessing.” The speaker’s tone was condescending and thick with scorn. The rest of the assembly laughed, your kids, however, looked hopeless.

You could  _ feel _ your blood pressure spike. What the fuck?

“What a little prick. Somebody ought to punch-”

Before Irina could say exactly what was on your mind, a sharp wind whipped through the gym accompanied by a sound you were familiar with by this point.

“There you go, Isogai.” Korosensei’s voice came from your right. You looked past Irina and Karasuma to see…

Oh god.

“Seriously?” Karasuma hissed. 

You had to agree. Seriously?

Korosensei stood, twirling a pen with one finger. Awkwardly flesh toned, a ridiculously small wig, sleeves, and clearly empty gloves. He looked like some kind of awkward inflatable scarecrow.

No one was going to buy this disguise right?

There was no way.

You looked out over the room briefly. No one was panicking.

How??

Maybe it was passable at a distance? That was the only thing you could remotely think of...

“That should take care of it, I think. All of you have a copy of the handout now, correct?”

And that’s when you noticed...the kids  _ did _ have handouts now. You looked at him then back at the kids and remembered, distinctly, that stack of papers you had at home with suggested eateries on it.

“Yes, sir.” Isogai held up a hand to the speaker, “Nevermind. We have some. My mistake, sorry.”

The speaker sputtered, surprised.

“I thought we agreed we couldn’t let the other students see you. What part of ‘state secret’ do you refuse to understand?” Karasuma whispered, glaring over at the octopus.

“Relax. My disguise is flawless. No one suspects a thing.”

You did. You absolutely did. If you were any of these people you would. How could he be so smart and  _ like this _ ?

Irina stepped around Karasuma and pulled out her knife, trying to stab him and drawing stares. You pinched the bridge of your nose. God...now you really understood why Karasuma reacted the way he did when you both showed up.

Korosensei dodged Irina’s motions without issue for a few swings before Karasuma stepped in, grabbing her and escorting her away. A few glares were being thrown in the direction of you and your fellow teachers but more were focused on E Class who was laughing. The other students did not seem happy with their relaxed attitude. You saw Yada, Hara, and Fuwa all grinning. Even Okuda was laughing.

You looked sidelong at Korosensei. Okay, so maybe he stood out like a sore thumb but you couldn’t object to the fact that his presence improved morale. His attention turned towards you, “Don’t worry, Mx. Reader. It’s me.”

_ Oh my fucking god. _

“I  _ know _ it’s you.” you tried not to laugh, annoyed that that worked.

His grin widened and you couldn’t help it. You smiled.

“I was surprised to see that you’d left campus.”

“I thought I was supposed to come with.” you shrugged.

“And here I had stopped by to see if you wanted to have lunch together since everyone had left.”

“Lonely up there, huh?” you smirked slightly.

“...a bit.”

“Maybe we could see about lunch when we get back?”

“An excellent idea. The class will want to eat as well I’m sure.”

You heard some fuss and looked over seeing Karasuma and Irina bickering back and forth.

“We’re...really something.” you chuckled, noticing a few other teachers staring.

“Hm?”

“This whole classroom.”

“I do like to think it’s very unique.” he chuckled.

“It is...seems pretty effective too.”

“Oh?” you could hear his amusement, “I thought you were worried this morning since you stepped in with Okuda.”

You glanced over at him, “It was an unconventional approach but the lesson you taught was pretty solid.”

He looked very proud of himself. You made a valiant effort to not think about how cute that was.

Just another thought to toss right into that pile of “Thoughts to Examine Later”.

The assembly went pretty smoothly after that. It was mostly covering the upcoming events at the school and reminders of dress code, behavior, etc. It was a relief when it was over because it was starting to put you to sleep. 

As you moved to leave the gymnasium you remembered...you still had to climb the mountain.

_ Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. _

While surveying the path up the mountain you overheard Karasuma sounding pretty pissed, “This whole stupid system is a travesty.”

You turned your attention to him. Karasuma moved to approach some students but Korosensei stopped him.

“Easy does it. The boy can handle himself. My students know how to deal with bullies.”

You followed Karasuma’s line of sight and spotted Nagisa speaking with two students. One of them advanced on him, lifting him off the ground. You waited, ready to step in if necessary.

Some exchange happened between the two of them and the boy dropped Nagisa abruptly. The two stepped back and Nagisa passed by them. You approached your coworkers.

“What did I tell you? They have more self-respect than to roll over for a bully.” Korosensei’s face had developed those green lines again.

“What’s that kid’s problem anyway?” you looked between the two of them.

“They seem to be upset that E class is no longer behaving like the punching bag they expect.” Korosensei chuckled.

Karasuma gave a small nod, “I think that’s owed, in no small part, to your teaching methods.”

Korosensei’s grin widened, “Why Karasuma! Was that a compliment?”

Karasuma’s expression stayed fixed, “It was a statement.”

You tried not to chuckle, “Sounded like a compliment to me.”

Karasuma’s expression didn’t change but you could  _ feel  _ the irritation rolling off of him at your comment. You gave him a smile.

“I’ll see you both back at campus.” he turned, making his way towards the mountain path.

“I’d bring him something as a gift for putting up with all of us but I have no idea what he likes.”

Korosensei looked at you in surprise, “A gift for Karasuma?”

You shrugged, “I bring you snacks. Irina apparently wants ice packs.” you watched him head up the hill, “Knowing him he’d probably just want black coffee.”

You made a face at the idea.

“I see, so you  _ don’t _ just dote on  _ me _ then.”

You looked over at him, his green stripes were gone, “Who said I was doting on you?”

He gave an alarmed yelp as you started walking up the mountain path. He easily caught up with you, “What else would you call it?!”

“Sharing?” you said with a shrug.

He looked like you’d just force-fed him a lemon. You laughed, “Relax, relax. You know you’re my favorite.”

“Oh, am I now?” the green stripes were back and his voice raised an octave in interest.

“Well...I guess...” you dragged it out as if unsure then laughed as his expression shifted again.

“I’m just messing with you, Korosensei.” you shook your head, “You’re definitely the most interesting part of my day.”

You saw his expression flicker briefly, a pink tinge coloring his normal yellow. Your response seemed to satisfy him, “I do pride myself on being interesting.~”

“So, why are you walking up the mountain anyway? Don’t you normally just” you made a hand motion, “shoot off when things like this are done?”

“Well, I would still be easily spotted by the students on the main campus.”

“Didn’t stop you at the assembly.”

“That was different.”

“Not that different.”

“I also appreciate the company. I was left all alone up there!”

“Oh, that’s right, I was going to tell you. That disguise is terrible.”

He was instantly offended, “I’ll have you know my disguise is perfect!”

He launched into a rant about how impeccable his skills were and you couldn't stop laughing.

The pair of you were the last to arrive at the mountain top. A brief lunch was held, the kids in the classroom, you in the faculty lounge with Korosensei. Karasuma had stepped out to take a phone call. Irina, meanwhile, had been cornered by the girls and forced into joining them for lunch. 

You made up for your teasing with another box of bamboo shoot cookies. This has become a sort of daily ritual...almost. Sharing lunch or snacks. It was nice. Having a routine made you feel more like you belonged here. It had become comfortable.

Irina stopped you after work, “Hey, Reader.”

“Yeah?”

“What would you think of swapping desks with a girl?” she gave you a smile.

“Like...what in the lounge?”

“Yeah. The octopus keeps staring at my tits and you two seemed pretty chummy today.”

You shrugged, “Sure. Doesn’t really matter where I sit as long as I’ve got space for my things.”

"Thank God." she whipped out a cigarette and lit up, "I'd rather not have to deal with drooling octopus all day."

"Just bring snacks, that'll keep him busy."

She laughed, "Suuuure."

“No, really.”

“I’m not throwing away my paycheck on the octopus.”

You shrugged as she walked off down the path. To you, it wasn’t really throwing away your paycheck. It was just…

Well…

You weren’t really sure what it was. Another thing to put in the “Think About Later” pile, you thought to yourself, following after her.


	7. 🐙🎓

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic now has a playlist. One song per chapter. [Check it out on Spotify.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3EfiMY17N1VdJCetnDGzrC?si=hcj1oaNBS4m50PO2k_1pPQ)  
> I have two more chapters nearly ready they just need minor edits and illustrations. After that there might be a break for a week or so because I'm going to Otakon this year with buddies but rest assured, there are now a whopping 83 pages of this fic. With this chapter? We're only on page 40. There's plenty more coming.  
> You can read Korosensei's POV [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/48881285).

Everything was in order in the nurse’s office. Finally. You stood there, overseeing your work.

And nearly screamed when Korosensei appeared in front of you, flickering in and out of existence.

“What-”

“Sorry about that! I just wanted to pop by and see if you wanted me to pick up something for lunch for you. My treat.~”

You just...what was happening.

“Reader?”

“What are you...doing?”

He looked around for a moment then laughed, “Oh! That. I’m duplicating myself for the children’s study hall.”

“...duplicating yourself?”

“More precisely what you are seeing is an afterimage of myself. I’m using my speed to work one on one with each student. And to ask you about lunch of course.”

“So you’re, uh...hold on.” you went into the hall and peeked into the classroom.

This was hurting your head. A flickering image of Korosensei was standing at each desk, speaking with the kids.

“Does this mean you’re like...doing one word per round with the kids?”

“Yes!” He states proudly.

“So, technically right now you’re holding twenty-six conversations but in like... one-word bursts.”

“Twenty-seven counting this one.”

Oh, you  _ hated _ this. You felt like your brain was turning to mush just trying to consider the logistics.

“So...lunch?”

You looked over at him, “Uh, sure. I’ll just...leave an order at your desk okay?”

“Oh, in that case here!”

Your phone magically appeared in your hands. A new contact was open that was simply labeled with a pair of emojis: 🐙🎓

“Text me! Anyway, back to the grind!”

He flickered back into the classroom.

You were having flashbacks to that first day of seeing him dodge bbs.

“Too much,” you said to nobody before heading back into your office.

Later, in the faculty lounge, you pulled out your phone and opened the contacts. What the fuck sort of order should you even place? You supposed that location wasn’t really an issue with his speed. What places had he talked about stopping at? China? India? You sat back, thinking it over. What was simple? You didn’t even know where he was going…

An easy solution came to mind.

_ Eh, why the fuck not? _

You tapped into your phone a short message: Surprise Me.

Setting your phone aside, you fingered the latest page of your journal, tapping your pen with the other hand. What else could you really add to these notes? You’d put his new trick with the weird after image thing but there wasn’t much else to add. You felt like you were slacking. Today had been rather tame so far. Hell, if it weren’t for occasional sounds of bbs or seeing the students walking around with their knives you would have thought this was a normal schoolhouse.

“Hey, Professor Reader?”

You looked up from your desk to see one of the kids standing in the doorway of the staff room. You were still working on putting names to faces but you were pretty sure you had this one down.

“Shiota?” 

“Yes, Professor. But if it's all the same to you I like to go by Nagisa.”

“Alright then, Nagisa it is. How can I help you, Nagisa?” You gave him a smile, shutting your journal.

A paper was held out to you, “This is the cheat sheet for Korosensei's colors.”

“Oh?”  _ Well, shit kid, perfect timing. _

“I added some notes as well. I've been trying to keep track of his movements and weaknesses.”

You gave the papers a read over. Some of it you already knew, of course, but still, this was creepily impressive. 

“Thank you, this is going to come in very handy.”

“Uh… Professor, could I ask you something?”

Tucking the papers away you nodded, gesturing for him to sit in one of the other office chairs available, “Of course. What's on your mind?”

He sat, looking at you. There was something mildly unsettling in how intense his stare was.

“Why aren't you trying to kill Korosensei?”

That… was not the question you expected. What kind of question was it really? Why aren't you trying to commit murder? You took a breath, clearing your head before you answered.

“I don't want to take a life.”

Nagisa seemed to consider this, “Aren't you interested in the money? Or saving the Earth?”

“Both of those would be nice but that's not within my skill set. I take care of people. I don't harm them.”

“I believe the proper statement would be that you have no intention of using your skill set to kill.”

You jumped as the octopus leaned into the doorway.

“As an assassin, your medical expertise would only give you  _ an advantage _ over your target.”

“I mean...I guess I’d be prepared to patch myself up if I had a run-in with them.”

“Oh, you could do far more than that!  _ Think bigger! _ ” Korosensei's voice brimmed with an issued challenge 

Nagisa piped up, “With medical training you'd know the best places to strike.”

Korosensei went red, a circle appearing on his face, “Correct, Nagisa!”

You looked between the two of them. The way this classroom functioned was still a learning curve for you.

“I suppose that poisoning is also easier…” you ventured, “Or other forms of harm. There’s overdose, air embolism, suffocation, allergen exposure… Historically nurses have been in the best position to kill people.”

What was this classroom doing to you?

“Ah yes, correct, Reader.” Korosensei turned his eyes to you, “While not technically assassins, the method of execution is still viable. If you can work your way into the care of your target then those are  _ exceptional _ methods of assassination!”

“Well, it's not going to be for me. I don't want to kill anyone.”

“And  _ that _ , Reader, is the difference. Your skills are remarkable. You would easily be able to kill someone with them. But you have made a choice, for whatever reason, not to use them in that way. While it is quite contrary to the lessons of this classroom you do have much more to contribute. Don't downplay your skills. Take pride in them! Be an example for our students. They can benefit from your knowledge.”

You looked between Korosensei and Nagisa. This place was topsy turvy, but you did find yourself appreciating the sentiment. Your skills had worth here and you could be helpful outside of simple nursing care. After all, if something happened to the students in this arrangement wouldn't it be better that they learned how to handle themselves? Handle injuries? You might not always be there but you could pass these skills along. As far as helping in assassinations…

“I made it clear to the Ministry of Defense and to Principal Asano that I didn't intend to take part in the assassinations.” You looked between them, “But I suppose sharing my medical knowledge has more than one use and I would be happy to do so if it would help the children.”

His grin widened and his tone settled into a deeper, more genuine note, “I'm glad to hear it. Perhaps we can make arrangements for you to teach a class or two.” he chuckled and gave a wave, “Well, I’m off for lunch then!”

And with a whirl of air and sound, he was gone.

Nagisa looked at you as you scrabbled to catch some of your fluttering papers, “Oh here, let me help you.”

Gathering up scattered paperwork, you sighed, “You think he’d give you more than a three-second warning. At this rate, I’m going to have to invest in paperweights.”

“Yeah, I think he likes surprising people.” Nagisa smiled and straightened up, setting the papers he’d collected on your desk.

“Definitely.” you looked over one of the papers you'd picked up which happened to be the cheat sheet Nagisa had just given you, "Wait a minute….. That's what the green rings mean?"

"Yeah."

Cocky or mocking. Lovely.

"Well, that explains a lot." You made a face thinking about how often those green lines came up.

Nagisa smiled, "Don't worry, he does it to everyone."

"Greaaaat."

Nagisa laughed, "Karasuma said the military had to put up with it a lot."

You couldn't help but smile at that. Given what you had seen of Karasuma and Korosensei's interactions you could only imagine how disastrous having the octopus in a military installation would be.

“Hey, thanks for this.” you tucked the paper into your journal, “It’s really helpful.”

“No problem! I’ll let you know if I find out anything else!”

“I’ll try to do the same but I’m not really sure how useful my information will be.”

He grinned, “You never know. Karma destroyed a tentacle just by cutting up one of the knives. Sometimes things work that you don’t expect.”

“True.”

“You want to come have lunch with us?”

“I would but the octopus is picking me up something. Least I can do is eat with him. Tomorrow though?”

“Sure. See you!” he headed back across to the classroom…

Right as a woosh of wind hit the room. You slammed your hands down on the papers, only managing to save a few of them, the rest scattering to the four corners of the room.

You fixed a glare on your yellow co-worker. He paused, looking at you and the papers you were covering.

“I’m going to have to invest in paperweights, aren’t I?”

“That would probably be for the best,” Korosensei said, using a free tendril to gather your scattered pages for you.

He sat a bag down on the desk. Whatever was in it smelled fucking amazing.

Carefully, he unpacked some take out containers from the bag and passed a pair to you along with utensils.

"I certainly hope this is surprising enough."

You opened the container revealing...pasta.

"Carbonara, directly from Italy and-"

Before you could open the next box he slammed a tentacle onto it, his voice alarmed, "You don't have a nut allergy do you?!" 

"Uh...no?"

"Alright then." he looked relieved and removed his tentacle, allowing you to open the container, "Torrone, also from Italy."

You laughed a bit, “It looks amazing. Thank you.”

He unpacked his own containers and you noticed a tinge of pink edging into his cheeks.

_ Huh… _

"I also took the liberty of picking up drinks." He sat a bottle of Ramune next to you, "I've noticed you bringing these in a time or two.~"

"Is this payback for all the snacks I feed you?" You smirked.

He sat across from you, opening his own container, "Well, it would be rude not to return the favor…"

"I appreciate it." After freeing your plastic utensils you tucked in. On the first bite, you made a sound of appreciation. It was  _ delicious _ .

When you looked up you saw that his grin had widened, green stripes lined his face.

"Proud of yourself?" You raised an eyebrow.

"I'm simply happy to see that you are enjoying it." His grin sharpened, his eyes narrowed.

Definitely cocky.

“So, what’s with the whole...afterimage thing? Like, is it just a new teaching method or?”

“I’m preparing the students for their midterms.”

“Yeah?”

He gave a nod, “I thought some one-on-one focused study would be beneficial to their grade point average. Doing it all in the same study hall is exceptionally efficient and doesn’t eat away into the time my students could be using on other activities. Like training to kill me for instance!”

That was...considerate? Sorta?

“Seen any results yet?”

“I do believe so! Several of them are beginning to tame the more troublesome aspects of the subjects they’re struggling with.”

“Well that’s good.” you took another bite, thinking about it, “I could have used a teacher like you in school.”

He chuckled, “Well, as educators we are always learning who’s to say you can’t use a teacher like me now?”

You laughed, “I have to admit, your approach is a lot more fun than the way I was taught. I could get used to your method. Minus all the” you waved your hand vaguely, “crazy abilities.”

“Well, we can’t all be superhuman.”

You paused, looking at him, “...super  _ human _ ?”

He froze for a second, “I mean in the general sense, of course.”

You would need to add that to your notes...

It was the end of the day, you had started packing up your bags when the door to the lounge slid open. You expected Karasuma. Instead, you saw-

“Principal Asano.” you stood up, giving a slight bow.

He gave a cool, thin smile and you felt your skin crawl slightly. This guy had given you the creeps the day you were hired but you had needed the work.

“Mx. Reader. How lovely to see you’re adjusting to your…” he gave a look around the room with a clear expression of disdain, “new environment.”

“It’s been a very interesting experience.” you tried to keep your tone level. You were getting really sick of this weird ‘E Class is tainted’ mentality and were starting to get the idea of where it came from.

“Indeed. This year has been exceptionally interesting.” he pulled the chair you had just vacated around, taking a seat, “And where are your fellow faculty members?”

“Well, sir, it’s end of day they should be-”

At that moment the door slid open and Karasuma and Irina entered.

_ Thank god. _

“Asano.” Karasuma gave him a nod. 

Irina raised a brow, “The principal?”

“Yes.” he looked at Irina, “Miss Jelavich, I presume.”

“In the flesh.” she gave him a winning smile. He didn’t seem remotely affected.

“What brings you here, Mr. Asano?” Karasuma slid the door shut.

“A matter of educational philosophy.” he sat back, reaching into his jacket to pull out...a Rubix’s cube.

Ohhhkay, where was  _ this _ going?

“Consider this deceptively simple cube.” he started to turn the sections, shuffling the colors, “If I wished to align the colors quickly and intuitively. What might be the best way to go about it? Any ideas?”

The three of you shared a quick glance but didn’t respond.

“The answer?” he pulled out a screwdriver, pushing it into the Rubix cube and prying at it as the door slid open. 

The Rubix cube tumbled into pieces, “Pry them apart and reassemble. It’s as easy as that.”

He turned his attention to the new arrival with a deceptively chipper smile, “Why, Korosensei. It’s an honor.”

Korosensei stood for a moment, assessing the situation.

“Apparently this gentleman is supposed to be the principal here.” Irina didn’t sound impressed.

“Believe me, he is, which also makes him our boss,” Karasuma said.

There was a rush of wind and you were so thankful that you’d already packed your work away because you were  _ not _ gathering papers again today.

“So good of you to come all this way, sir!” Korosensei immediately set about tending to the principal, making tea, massaging his shoulders, and generally being...way more subservient than you had ever seen him, “Any chance we could discuss a  _ teensy _ little hike in salary, if I'm not being too forward, of course? I've added a few extra versions of myself to help with the workload an-”

Asano looked at him, “Forgive me for not visiting sooner. I meant to pay my respects before now, but one gets sidetracked. Mr. Karasuma and the Ministry of Defense have painted quite the vivid picture of you.” he rose from his seat, looking up into Korosensei’s startled face.

There was something about this man that just filled a room with uneasiness. His tone was even, measured. His expression was casual and calm, a steady even stream...that hid a deadly undercurrent.

“Yes,  _ vivid indeed _ , though I don't pretend to understand the situation in every particular. Nor do I feel especially qualified to comment. However, I will say this, if I may be so bold. You seem to be torn between embracing the role of savior or villain.”

Korosensei’s smile was fixed but there was the slightest shift in his stance.

“But no matter, such things aren't for men like myself to resolve. I'm hardly in a position to save the world. That job I must leave to hands more capable. So barring harm to my school your assassins may deal with you as they will.”

He turned, approaching Karasuma, “I’ve been given plenty of incentive to turn a blind eye.” his hand settled on Karasuma’s shoulder. While his expression didn’t shift, you could sense Karasuma’s distaste.

“Thank you for your cooperation.” he gave Asano a small nod.

“That’s a very reasonable attitude, principal. I find that quite  _ attractive _ in a man.” Irina tried her hand at the charm again.

It seemed well-received as he gave her a small bow, “You flatter me, madam. That said...” he turned, looking back at Korosensei in the center of the room before moving to the windowsill, “Though I’m happy to give you carte blanche to do what’s necessary, I must think of the future, should the Earth survive. In other words,” he leaned on the sill, looking at him, “What becomes of my school if Korosensei is assassinated? Not to put too fine a point on it, but E Class must continue to serve its function in the grand scheme of things.”

_ Yikes,  _ was this guy serious?

There was a tense moment, Korosensei remained standing in the center of the room but his voice dipped dangerously, "Interesting. So rock-bottom grades and students with zero prospects serve a  _ 'function' _ , do they?"

The principal’s tone took an informative one, almost amused at the question, “Oh, yes. Are you familiar with the so-called Worker Ant Theory? It tells us that in any group, 20 percent will work hard, 20 percent will be idle, and the remaining 60 percent will fall somewhere in between.” he gestured, "Now, imagine a group without a middle ground, where hard workers compromise 95 percent of the population, and lay-abouts only five. If the lazy worker ants are stigmatized, the ratio is perfectly feasible. Those who under normal circumstances fall into the average category better themselves to avoid being associated with the ostracized class."

You bit your tongue, you wanted to tell him that this school wasn't his goddamn personal ant farm but-

"Very logical. And, of course, unless the five percent is kept down, the incentive for the other 95 disappears." Korosensei's tone was friendly but measured and sharp in response. It was clear he had no love for this man's ideals.

Asano gave a nod "Just today I received an alarming complaint from a D Class teacher. It seems a student of yours glared threateningly at two upperclassmen, such that the upperclassmen feared for their lives."

Was...was he talking about Nagisa?

Tiny little pigtail-wearing Nagisa?

Like okay, the kid's eyes could be intense but not  _ that _ intense.

"I have no doubt the confidence to do so stems from their attempts to assassinate you. And perhaps that's to be expected. The issue, though, is that an E Class student dared to defy his better. Obviously I cannot let such insolence stand. As his teachers, you are expected to remind the student in question of his place." 

Your stomach turned. Oh, you'd remind Nagisa of his place alright. That place was with E class, as far from  _ this asshole _ as possible.

He moved to leave, his tone light and amused, "Oh, and Korosensei?" he turned abruptly, "You have one second to solve this puzzle!"

He flung...what were those? Keys?

"WHAT?! You just spring this on me out of the blue?!"

Korosensei caught the shining metal thing and fell to the floor, frantically struggling with it. It was then you realized what it was. You'd only seen them in gift shops before. Little metal puzzles made of rings and chains that you had to manipulate apart…

Why the hell  _ that _ was giving him a problem you had no idea.

Asano looked amused "Your speed certainly lives up to the hype. I can see why most attempts on your life would be an exercise in futility. But bear in mind, my friend. In the grand scheme of things, there are many problems for which speed is of no use at all."

Korosensei lay still on the ground, defeated. You bristled internally. This man didn't know jack shit about the people up here, clearly.

"Now, if you'll kindly excuse me." 

He left the room and paused, looking down. His tone was positively chipper, "Oh. Hi there! I look forward to your midterm results. Best of luck to you."

You could see Nagisa outside the door, unlike his usual bright expression his eyes seemed hollow. You had no doubt he'd heard the whole thing.

Before you could move to speak with Nagisa, Karasuma spoke, "Essentially, if you teach here there's no getting around his personal vision of order." He looked over at you and then to Irina, his gaze finally coming to rest on Korosensei, "That goes for us and for you."

There was an audible ping as Korosensei broke the ring puzzle entangled around his hands. You looked out the window, making sure he was leaving.

“Screw that.”

Karasuma faltered.

You looked over at him, Irina nodded in agreement.

“Look they’re brats but they deserve better than that, bullshit.”

Korosensei slowly rose from the floor, gathering the busted puzzle pieces, “Now, Miss Irina, Mx. Reader...” he looked at you both as he gently threw them in the trash, “As much as it might gall us, Principal Asano’s method is the standard of this school-”

“I don’t care.” you crossed your arms, “I’m their Health Education teacher. That doesn’t just mean I handle their physical well being. Their emotional and mental well being is just as high a priority for me.”

“I believe we can all agree with that.” Korosensei gave a nod.

“But we’re just supposed to put up with that?”

He looked at you, “Sometimes one has to work within the system to incite change.” his grin quirked, just slightly upwards, “The same way an assassin might work their way into a target’s inner circle before taking them out.”

You paused, considering this.

“Just try not to rock the boat too much. This is Asano’s turf.” Karasuma spoke up, “And it’s in the interest of the government that we keep this whole situation a secret.”

This whole thing put a bad taste in your mouth but you sighed, “Are we actually going to reprimand Nagisa?”

Irina rolled her eyes.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” Korosensei chuckled.

Karasuma nodded, “I don’t think a reprimand is appropriate.”

“Good.” you shouldered your bag, “Well, I’m out for the day. Being around that guy made me want a shower.”

You headed out the door. You hadn’t meant to be so curt but this whole situation just rubbed you the wrong way. You hated feeling powerless in the face of such blatant abuse. Being told to carry on as if it were normal.

It reminded you way too much of previous experiences.

That night you got a ping on your phone. 

_ ‘Your purchase will be delivered tomorrow.’ _

Good.


	8. Contingencies and Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearly to the Kyoto trip which will take a little longer than these chapters did because they're going to require extra research. However, I'll also get more creative freedom with it. These chapters are a little more on the rails because I wanted to keep in some of the iconic moments.

You got to campus early to find that your order had arrived. They weren't much but given the heat, you hoped they would do. Before anyone else showed up, you hooked up the fans you’d purchased. Two for the classroom, one for your office, and one for the lounge. Nothing fancy but powerful enough to at least give some air circulation. Given the state of the building, you doubted AC units would have helped, not to mention they were pricer. This would have to do.

Irina arrived shortly after you’d flipped on the one in the lounge.

“What’s this?”

“A fan.”

She gave you a look and you smiled in response.

“You know what I mean, where did this come from?”

“I bought some for the building. It’s too hot for any of us to function and this gives a little relief.”

She looked at it whirring away and took her seat across from you, “Good move.”

You smiled, and opened your journal, marking off a portion of the budget you’d set up.

Your fellow faculty members arrived not long after. Karasuma commented that the fans were a good idea and thanked you sternly for the contribution. Coming from him you took that as high praise. Korosensei seemed pleased but distracted. He went off to teach and you turned your attention to arranging a course outline for your potential first aid lessons for the kids.

Halfway through the day, there was a commotion from the classroom. It was the octopus. You weren’t surprised.

“MONEY ISN’T EVERYTHING, PEOPLE!”

Not long after a stern command was issued, "EVERYONE. SCHOOLYARD. NOW."

You’d been taking a look at the leak in your office when it happened and paused, stepping down off of the stool you’d been standing on. The children were filing past the door. There was an uneasiness in the air. You spotted Karasuma heading out with them and followed, “What’s this all about?”

Karasuma shook his head, “No idea. Something about a demonstration.”

Nakamura looked over at the two of you, “We were just talking about the reward money for his assassination.”

Hm. Interesting.

You took up a position next to Karasuma, the students milled around before the yard questioning the situation to one another. Korosensei stood in the center of the field.

“All right, children,” Everyone’s attention became fixated on him, “Love or hate the E Class system, as a remedial process, it  _ can _ work. Imagine placing within the top 50 of 186 students on midterms. Make that a reality and securing a former teacher’s permission is all an E Class student needs to return to the class from which they were ejected. But given the conditions we're forced to work under, the personal setbacks that landed each of you here are difficult to fix.” he began pushing some of the field equipment off to the side “That's why most E Class students are convinced that returning to the main campus is no more than a pipedream.”

Behind you you heard Irina fussing, “Don't tell me to hurry up, I'm not a child.”

Kataoka apologized, joining her peers.

Korosensei called out from the field, "Miss Jelavich. I'd like your opinion as a professional assassin."

Irina put her hand on her hip, “All right, what do you wanna know?”

“Now, let's say you've been given an assignment. Do you have only one plan going into it?” 

She scoffed, “Hm? 'Course not. If my profession has taught me anything, it's that Plan A almost never comes off like you'd expect. There are just too many variables. A good assassin has backup plans on hand for any contingencies.”

“And Mx. Reader.”

You faltered, surprised to be brought into this.

He leveled his gaze at you, "If you have a patient that's stopped breathing, is there only one way to resuscitate them?"

"Oh god no, you have CPR, ambu bags, cric, trach, if you have access to a vent that's even better. And if there's complications like a collapsed lung or something you have to deal with those too. There can always be complications and it's best to come prepared for them if you can."

“And Mr. Karasuma, what about you? When teaching knife combat strategies, do you believe the first strike is the only move of any importance? ”

Karasuma tilted his head, “The first move is important, but so's the follow-up. Never assume the first strike will hit. Because when your opponent is trained, you have to be ready to deliver the next strike with at least a much precision and skill as the first, or, better yet, carry a second blade.”

Maehara spoke up, “If you have a point, sir, I think we’re missing it.”

Korosensei abruptly began to spin, his voice booming across the field, “Listen to your teachers, boys and girls! Backup plans are the cornerstone of confidence, and a confident assassin is a successful one. The same goes for life in general. You strive for assassination but not for academics? You've heard the old saying, right? Don't put all your eggs in one basket? Well, _ that's exactly what you're doing here _ !”

His voice rose in intensity, he sounded angry.

“Now. Suppose I  _ left _ the classroom for good. Suppose some other would-be assassin out there managed to do me in.”

The speed at which he was spinning was kicking up dust, you raised a hand against the breeze from it.

“What would you be left with? What would you strive for then? Or are you satisfied with being  _ outcasts _ ? A word of advice from your Korosensei,  _ you walk a fine line _ .”

The wind had picked up, rising upwards in a tornado-like column from his position. A dust cloud obscured your field of vision, you heard the kids shouting and found yourself coughing. There were sounds you couldn’t identify, but over it all, echoing around the mountain top was Korosensei’s voice,

“ **THOSE WHO CAN'T WIELD A SECOND BLADE AREN'T QUALIFIED TO BE ASSASSINS!** ”

The dust began to settle. You looked up from your coughing.

“There. Our schoolyard needed a good leveling. Not to mention a few weeds cleared.”

The weed-covered field had been transformed into a playing field with goals, track lines, and perfectly leveled dirt.

You’d never found a playing field so terrifying before.

“I am a superior life-form, capable of destroying the  _ Earth _ . As you can see,  _ flattening out this little corner of it was a cinch _ .”

There were sounds of alarm from the students in response.

“Cast your nets wide. Show me your backup plan, that crucial second blade. Otherwise, I'll be forced to conclude no would-be assassin here is worthy of me. And I won't just have a mind to leave,  _ I'll flatten this entire campus as I go _ .”

What the fuck was this?

Nagisa spoke up in spite of the spectacle, “A 'second blade'? So how long've we got?”

Korosensei’s eyes fixed on the boy, “Not very. Until the end of tomorrow.”

The kids protested.

“The midterms are upon us, class. I want all of you to place in the top 50. Whether you realize it or not, we've been sharpening those second blades all along.” he spread his arms out to them, “The main campus relies on dull, rote-learning methods. I, to put it mildly,  _ do not _ . You have what it takes.”

You remembered your conversation yesterday about learning methods. This was one you certainly  _ would not _ be replicating.

“So wield those blades with confidence! Take your midterms by the gills, smiling, your heads held high! Be proud! Be bold! And never forget, you are assassins! You are E Class!” he pointed at them emphatically. The students seemed unsure.

You were as well.

Korosensei was distant for the rest of the day. You weren’t sure if he was avoiding you and the other staff but it put you on edge. Would he really leave? What was with the threats suddenly? Flattening the campus certainly sounded like interfering with the school not to mention E Class, where was that talk from yesterday about changing things from the inside out? Leaving wasn’t helpful to anyone involved, not to mention the pressure he’d put on the students.

You typed your notes for the day. The lounge had fallen into an uncomfortable quiet.

What were you going to do if he followed through on this? What would happen to the class?

Well, that was the question, wasn’t it? You paused, perhaps you should take some time to think on  _ your own _ second blade.

You sighed and sent the email.

What a fuckin’ day.


	9. Pinky Swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update before Otakon! <3 Thank you guys so much for all the love. I hope to come back post-con with more.  
> You can read Korosensei's view of this chapter [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/48881339).

The next day was tense. You arrived and placed some ice packs you’d bought in the mini-fridge. While the fans were helping you planned on at least offering them to Irina as a gag if nothing else. The students had filed down the mountain after roll call for their midterms which were apparently held at the main campus.

The anticipation was killing you so you got up, heading outside to walk off some of this nervous energy you had. It was frustrating having to sit by and wait…

You looked up, hearing someone walking ahead of you. Irina had arrived. Just beyond her was Korosensei staring out at the trees. You watched as she pulled a knife from her jacket and threw it towards him. With a rush of wind, he dodged, looking at her.

“Did you really mean that crap? You're gonna take off if they don't all place in the top 50 on their stupid midterms?!”

Well, looks like you weren’t the only one planning on this conversation. You joined her.

“That’s right.” Korosensei sounded practically chipper about it.

Irina huffed, “Well, way to be unrealistic! These kids have the worst grade-point average in the entire school! Are you nuts?!”

With amusement he pulled out a tissue, “I wonder sometimes. Either way, wherever they've ranked before, they're my students now. When backed into a corner, the first order of business is assessing your options.”

He reached down, picking up her blade delicately with the tissue. A butterfly alighted on the tip.

“If I've taught them nothing else, I've certainly taught them that.”

“Have you?” you narrowed your eyes, “Seems like you’re bullying them the same way Asano does. One wrong move and they’re out.”

He turned his attention to you, his tone shifted down a bit, “That might be one way to assess the situation but I assure you,” his grin hiked up, “my students can handle themselves.”

“They’re our students too.” you didn’t mean for it to come out as bitterly as it did, “And if you leave we’ll be the ones picking up the pieces.”

“Then perhaps have more faith in them, Reader.”

He turned, heading back inside. You and Irina shared a look. This was _ infuriating _ .

When the students came back up the mountain you could see the outcome in their faces. You greeted them as they came into the building. There was tension all around.

“Remember,” you said, “You did your best. That is all anyone can  _ ever _ ask of you.”

The reception was tepid, to say the least.

You moved back to the faculty lounge. Korosensei was facing the wall. Irina was leaning by the door. Karasuma looking out the window talking on his cell, “Not to rock the boat, but this is ridiculous. You gotta help me out here. However I look at it, this test seems rigged.”

He listened intently to the person on the other end and you could see from his stance that what was being said was irritating him, “The communications flap wasn't on our end, buddy. Besides, what constitutes 'proper notification'? Two days before midterm, you decide to broaden the scope and that's supposed to be enough time for us to cover everything?”

He abruptly hung up.

You looked at Korosensei, “Now do you get it?”

He didn’t look at any of you, he simply left the room. Irina sighed, “Well, I guess that’s that then, huh?”

Karasuma sighed, “What a mess.”

“What’s going to happen if he leaves?” you looked at them.

“I suppose they’ll be assigned a new teacher,” Karasuma stated frankly.

“And you’ll both go back to your previous work.”

“Well, yeah, this isn’t my normal day job, sweetie.” Irina gave you a look, “I feel for the kids but I’ve got my own work to keep up.”

You sighed, you supposed it wasn’t reasonable to think they would stay.

“What about you? You going to stick around?” Irina raised an eyebrow.

You looked at her, “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because someone has to.” the words left a bitter taste in your mouth.

Before she could respond you heard a yell from the classroom.

“I AM IN NO MOOD, KARMA! THIS WHOLE SITUATION HAS ME VERY DE-”

It was followed by...much more cheerful chatter than you expected.

The three of you moved to investigate and found the kids clustered around Korosensei at the front of the class. They were…

You pressed your lips together.

They were  _ teasing _ him about being scared and running away.

“NO ONE IS RUNNING AWAY!” he flailed, going a bright red.

Maehara spoke up, “'Kay. So what's the deal?”

He pointed at the students, “The deal is we get out revenge on this school two-fold during finals!”

The kids started laughing. He protested. You shared a look with Karasuma and Irina. Apparently no one was leaving after all…

You stayed later than usual that day, working on your first aid curriculum with new vigor. It was time to pass some knowledge along. These kids deserved better than what this school was throwing at them. While your lesson wouldn’t help them get into high school it might save their lives one day. It was important. It was needed.

Yeah. You could do this.

_ You were going to teach the crap outta these kids. _

A tentacle extended into your field of vision, a Ramune soda settled on your desk.

You looked up at him. He looked…

He looked sheepish.

“Peace offering?” he gave you a grin and took his seat next to you.

You gave him a long look. He practically squirmed.

“Reader, I-”

“Man, I didn’t know you were so terrified of a bunch of middle schoolers.”

He turned red, flailing, “I AM NOT AFRAID OF MY STUDENTS!”

You laughed, “Not yet, right?”

He paused reverting to his usual yellow, “Not yet indeed.”

“You can’t go running off like that on them.” You looked at him, “Or you’re going to have to deal with me.”

He chuckled softly, “You threaten me quite frequently for someone who proclaims to be a pacifist. Perhaps you would like one of these.”

One of his hands reached into a drawer of his desk. He slid one of the standard knives across to you with a tissue.

You looked at it for a moment then looked at him. Reaching out, you took the knife and turned, dropping it unceremoniously in the trash.

“You keep those in your  _ desk _ ?”

He laughed, “Better there than lodged in me.”

You gave a sigh, “I’m serious though. Don’t run off on these kids. Not like that. Making it their fault can really mess with them and they’re already in a bad place.”

He quieted.

“I assure you, Reader, I won’t be abandoning  _ our _ students anytime soon.”

He faltered when you held out your hand, pinky outstretched, “Pinky swear.”

His hand extended, the furthest tendril hooking your pinky, “I swear, Reader, the only way that I will leave this classroom is with my death.”

You smiled, satisfied and withdrew your hand, “Good. Besides,” you closed your planner, “I might get pissed if you left too.”

“Oh, would you now?” green streaks painted his face, “ _ Would you miss me _ ?”

“I mean you owe me for  _ how many _ snacks now?”

He sputtered, alarmed, green stripes gone, “THOSE ARE FRIENDLY EXCHANGES!”

“Yeah, yeah, suuuure.” you smirked at him.

His expression shifted, concern coming into his features. You laughed, “Relax, I’m not actually keeping a tab.”

Relief flooded his face, it was followed by another emotion...something you couldn’t quite place.

“Reader. I apologize. My actions upset you and-”

“Apology accepted.” you looked over at him, “ _ If _ you bring me some more of that torrone tomorrow. It was delicious.”

“Isn’t it?!” his tendrils waved happily.

You ended up spending a good twenty minutes chatting about snacks before either of you left for home.


	10. The Look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EYYYYYY so today's errands took less time than expected and I was actually able to finish the next chapter. So you guys get a surprise update before the Con.
> 
> You can read Korosensei's pov [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/48929927).
> 
> The entire segment in the classroom with Kayano pestering the reader for information resulted in a great comment from one of my beta readers who is ace.  
> "What allosexual nonsense is this?"

Post-midterms things had calmed down considerably in the schoolhouse. There were still assassination attempts, training, and drills alongside the normal classes. You were glad of that. The normalcy was nice.

The one running note of anticipation was a good one. The kids were making plans for the class trip. You were too, to tell the truth.

"Don't forget, there's a class trip next week." Karasuma looked across at you.

"Mm... Kyoto right? Irina mentioned it." You were working on typing up the first draft of your course plan.

"Yes. The assassination will still be ongoing. We'll have snipers set up throughout the city along the tour routes."

You looked up at him, "Snipers?"

"The Ministry wanted to bring in outside help. While the chance of any of the children being injured may be low you should come prepared."

"Well, I mean, we'll be traveling and staying overnight. Of course, I'd bring first aid materials."

"You and Korosensei will be moving with the groups. They’re choosing routes that will give the snipers advantage.."

You nodded and then paused, "You know, Karasuma, even a working vacation is a vacation. You can loosen up a little about it."

He gave you a look, "It's first and foremost an assassination attempt."

"Well, yeah, everything in this classroom is. Doesn't mean people don't have fun."

He continued giving you  _ The Look _ . It was slightly different than the other two Looks he had. For Irina,  _ The Look _ was exasperation and frustration. For Korosensei it was surprise, exasperation, and frustration. For you, however, it felt a lot more like...

"Okay, okay. I got it. Don't get in the way of the assassination and keep an eye on the kids." You waved a hand at him flippantly, "You can stop looking like a judgey dad now."

There was a slight flicker of surprise on his face as you went back to your course work. Irina often said he was uptight and, while you could sympathize with some of the things he had to deal with, you had to agree with her. You and him were capable of civil conversation, comfortable silence, and restoring order when needed. When you fell more in line with the behavior of your other co-workers  _ The Look _ was filled with the sense of “I expected more from you”. It kinda cracked you up.

This trip was going to be interesting. What would traveling with him, Irina, Korosensei and a herd of kids look like? You’d chaperoned classes before on trips but this was the first time going overnight anywhere. Not to mention going to Kyoto for actual sightseeing. You found yourself looking forward to it.

Karasuma’s voice pulled you out of your musing again, “By the way...”

You looked up from your screen.

“I think it would be best if you start participating in the drills with the children.”

You faltered, “The drills you’re running?”

“Yes.” he leaned back in his chair, “While you’re not an active participant in the assassination you will need to be able to keep up with the children should something happen. With the curriculum I have planned for them there’s a chance for injury all over this mountain.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I hope to teach them parkour among other things.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Parkour. Like...running up walls and things.”

He gave a nod, “Given their target, I think it would give them a slightly better chance.”

You mulled this over. He wasn’t kidding about the risk of injury with that. You’d seen a few of them in your time. Shredded palms, leg gashes, sprains, strains, bruises, abrasions, you name it you could get it from that. Worst-case scenarios included anything from broken legs to concussions. You were suddenly glad of the odd military surplus you’d been sent. Your mind also went back to the incident with Karma. It certainly couldn’t hurt to learn what the kids were learning.

It was a solid suggestion.

“I can join in, yeah.”

“Good. You start tomorrow.”

Oh... _ fantastic _ . You made a note to yourself to pick up some sportswear when you got off work.

Later in the day you’d been approached by Maehara about helping with lab set up. You’d joined him in bringing things in. As you entered the classroom, however…

"What about you Professor Reader, do you have somebody you like?"

You faltered, looking over at the gaggle of girls. The culprit was Kayano. You looked back at Maehara, he shrugged helplessly and went to put down the box of items he’d brought in.

"In what way?"

"In the obvious way, duh." Irina said from the doorway.

You couldn't help but laugh at that. Irina sounded just like the kids sometimes in that regard.

"Well, not really. I tried dating a little after I moved here but my track record isn't stellar."

Irina flipped her hair back over her shoulder with a smile, "Sounds like you need some tips."

You immediately shook your head. You  _ definitely _ didn't want tips, especially not from an assassin whose whole schtick was seduction.

"I'm fine. It's not really a high priority right now for me."

"What's that, Reader?"

Korosensei had arrived, components for the day's science tests in hand. Oh. Fantastic. He would be the most annoying one about this, you felt it in your bones.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just personal life stuff."

"Apparently, Reader here is committed to being single forever," Irina said, almost pouting.

"You're just saying that cause I won't take your dating tips!"

"They're really good!" She protested.

Why was every adult in this classroom but Karasuma like this? It was endearing but sometimes also a pain. Part of you wondered if this was karmic payback for ignoring  _ The Look _ earlier.

"You really don't like  _ anyone _ ?" Kayano sounded surprised, leaning on one of the desks looking at you.

"Like I said, it's not a high priority right now. This class is."

"Well said, Reader." 

You looked over to the octopus who was setting out testing materials. Was he actually going to be the voice of  _ reason _ in this conversation?

"As educators, this classroom should be first and foremost in our minds just as our target should be in assassination." His tone went from sincere to amused in a sudden 180, attention focused on you, "That being said  _ you didn't exactly answer the question _ ."

_ Why were they  _ **_all_ ** _ like this? _

"Isn't it best to keep that sort of thing out of the classroom?"

Irina laughed, "I mean if I did that I wouldn't have any examples for teaching the kids."

You looked at her in an attempt at sternness but she just smiled. You hadn’t perfected Karasuma’s  _ Look _ yet. You set down another beaker, "You guys know we run a classroom, not a gossip column right?"

"So who you like is  _ a secret _ then." Kayano gave a grin.

"I didn't say I liked  _ anybody _ ."

"But you also didn't deny it~!" You turned to see Korosensei's cocky smile. Green stripes. Naturally.

They were not going to let this drop until you gave them something or….

"And what about you, Korosensei?" He went a bit pink as you spoke, "Is there anyone  _ you _ like?"

"You're deflecting, Reader.~" he was challenging but there was something in his tone that made you realize you  _ might _ have hit on a truth.

You gave a bit of a smirk,  _ thank god here was your opening to get out of this nonsense _ . You looked at the kids, "I mean isn't that the  _ real  _ question? We know he likes Irina well enough but I bet he's got-"

There was a woosh and the octopus had flown the coop.

Kayano squinted, " _ Definitely _ suspicious."

She turned to Kurahashi and Okuda and they started gossiping about it.

You chuckled, setting out the last item before headed back to your office.

It was lunchtime and you found yourself sitting with the kids once again. They had practically demanded it. You’d laughed but joined them.

"So, are you guys excited about the trip coming up?"

"Yeah! We're trying to plan out the best routes for killing Korosensei.” Nakamura grinned.

Yep.  _ Normalcy.  _

“Yeah, Karasuma said something about snipers.”

“Yeah, if one of them gets him the money’s going to be split but that would still be better than nothing.” Okajima looked up from the map he was pouring over with Nakamura. Clustered around with them were Mimura, Chiba, Sugaya, Hayami, and Fuwa.

You had  _ finally _ memorized these kids names.

“So, just the snipers are going to be trying to kill him?”

“Well, I mean if we can get a hit in on him we’ll still be looking for openings.” Karma chuckled, tossing his knife and catching it idly, “We’re not going to slack off just because we’re on a trip.”

“You are coming along too, right Mx. Reader?” Okuda smiled. She was camped out with Kayano, Nagisa, Sugino, Karma, and Kanzaki.

“That’s the plan.” you took a drink of your soda.

Kurahashi grinned, “That’s awesome! We’ll get to travel together!”

You chuckled, “It’s actually going to be my first real sightseeing trip to Kyoto.”

“Whaaaat?” Kayano looked over at you, “You’ve never been?”

“Well, I’ve passed through before but not really for actual touring.”

“This is going to be so much fun!” Yada gave you a smile, “It’s always nice to see a place through someone else’s eyes for the first time.”

“It is.” you smiled, “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Did I hear correctly?” Korosensei leaned into the classroom, “You’ve never been to Kyoto Mx. Reader?”

“Not really. At least not for recreation.”

“Ohhhh! There are so many foods I’ll have to introduce you to!” He reached behind the podium and picked up something, dropping it with a heavy thud onto the desk you were seated at.

“Wha-” you stared at it, “What is this?”

“A Guidebook for the School Trip! I made them last night.”

“You made this  _ last night _ ?” you looked at him.

“Right?” Isogai looked over at you, “That was our reaction.”

You flipped through it, “How long is-” you faltered, looking at him, “One thousand three hundred and forty-four PAGES?!”

He laughed, “Of course! I have to make sure my students are well prepared.”

You skimmed pages, pausing to read them out loud, “ Consider the characteristics of each location, so that you can decide on how to have fun and how to kill. ” you flipped a few pages further, “ They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, and a personal experience is better still. You can only personally experience something at the place itself, so take the chance to learn more about the culture. ”

“See? Very informative!” his grin widened, the green stripes were back.

“Maybe I can use this after the trip as a paperweight...” you hefted the book experimentally.

“WHAT?”

The classroom erupted into laughter.

“It’s heavy enough!”

“Maybe I’ll do that too!”

“Children that is no way to treat the guidebook your Sensei lovingly crafted for you!” 

Things didn’t settle down for a while. The kids teased him mercilessly. By the time lunch was over you’d laughed so hard your sides ached.

That evening, after work, you stopped by Donki and picked up a set of athletic clothes and a carry on bag for the trip. You also stocked up on snacks. While standing there, listening to the store jingle playing merrily over the speakers you considered what next week would entail. You were supposed to be staying at a ryokan. You wondered how that was going to work with someone like Korosensei in the party.

But there’d be time enough to worry about that next week. For now, you needed to get home. You imagined tomorrow’s drills with the students was going to be an experience.


	11. Work this Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh...I accidentally another whole chapter this morning... Surprise! \o/  
> I swear reader isn’t a klutz.  
> Speaking as someone who has gotten back into working out after years of being pretty sedentary this is pretty much what it feels like. It takes time to adjust to new activity levels.  
> Also YOOOOOOOO my beta reader will BE HERE soon. He's coming over for the con.  
> The illustration for this is probably going to be added later this evening.

You felt a little self-conscious the next day after climbing into your outfit for this first session. It had been a while since you'd properly exercised aside from the usual walking to and from places. Admittedly, you did a lot more of that here than back home but you still weren't what you'd call in shape. The mountain had been the peak of your recent physical activity.

Korosensei briefly arrived but before you reached the field Karasuma had pointed for him to head back inside. Instead, the octopus ended up in the sandbox. Great. More people to see this spectacle.

When you went out to the track Karasuma was waiting for you. The kids, meanwhile, were paired off into sparring partners. 

Oh, you really hoped you weren’t going to be tossed into  _ that _ on the first day.

"Mx. Reader." He gave you a nod, "Let's get started."

You hadn't expected him to have you head back inside but the next several minutes were spent in your office with him getting your weight, measurements, and a general assessment. Questions about your sleeping habits, past injuries, current level of exercise, and such were thrown at you in his clipped tone. You answered them to the best of your ability.

"I need to see where you are before pushing you. You're not a kid after all."

Well gee,  _ thanks _ . That didn't make you feel old at all.

After that awkwardness was out of the way you both went back out to the track. The kids were still doing their hand to hand practice. Korosensei, meanwhile, appeared to have made a replica of Kyoto out of sand. 

Karasuma looked at you, "Alright, were going through basic calisthenics first, then I'm going to check on what your base speed and coordination are. From there I'll know which kids to partner you with for future exercises."

You nodded. Embarrassment was edging into the corners of your brain. While you understood his approach it still felt awkward being taught apart from the main group. It got more awkward when he pulled out a radio and hooked it up.

"What-"

"Radio exercise. I'm sure you've seen people do them before?"

You nodded, the schools you'd worked at previously had had these routines for their kids. Warm-up exercises set to music.

"Then you know what to do. Once you're finished with the ten minute warm-up we'll continue."

He hit play and went back to supervise the children while you followed the instructions being given on the tape. You could hear him correcting the children on stance and posture. 

This routine was actually not too bad. Once you got past the fact that you felt like an idiot doing it by yourself in the field. The ten minutes passed by fairly quickly and Karasuma came back over to you.

The next thing on his list was sprints and a few laps around the track. He timed you, watching as you huffed your way through the requested motions. That judgey dad look was slowly sinking into his face. You had a feeling it was because you'd skidded across the dirt during that second sprint, nearly eating shit right into the sporting equipment.

_ Yikes _ . Just how out of shape were you?

He called you over. You dusted the dirt off your knees, wincing. One of those was definitely going to be bruised tomorrow.

"Catch." He tossed a ball your way. Surprised, you fumbled watching it roll across the grass.

He made some notes as you picked it up.

"Hand-eye coordination is going to be another key aspect of your training. Take that home with you and do practice tosses."

You looked at the tennis ball in your hand.  _ Great. Homework. _

"For now we'll start with this."

He held out-

Was that a jump rope?

Really?

He seemed to catch the skepticism in your face, "You might think of it as a children's toy but jumping rope is good cardio and will improve your coordination. Go ahead and get started. I'll check back in here in a moment."

God, how long had it been since you jumped rope? You arranged things and started to jump. The first few were faltering, you got it caught on your leg, had to stop and start. It was a familiar exercise but you were way, way out of practice. You finally managed a good rhythm. You focused mostly on not doing something stupid and winding up in the dirt again.

Well...you tried to. But right when you thought you had just been overthinking things and that this was just like getting back on a bike the rope caught your leg, you landed awkwardly on the jump and rolled right back onto your ass.

Dammit.

You heard some of the kids laughing.

Goddammit.

There was a distant and distinct laugh from Korosensei.

Correction.

God  _ fucking _ dammit.

You rose to your feet, dusting off, and picked up the rope, starting up the routine again. Making an effort to ignore the students' response.

Karasuma rejoined you a short while later, "Alright. You've got a ways to go but I'm confident we can get you caught up with the children."

You were being out exercised by preteens.  _ Oof. _

"Yo-You think so?" You were out of breath. Lovely.

He nodded, "You'll need to start doing some supplemental exercises at home though."

You picked up the tennis ball and gestured with it.

"Yes, that and other things. I suggest listening to a morning radio exercise program to follow along with. It'll help get back some of your flexibility."

Well, didn't  _ you _ feel like an antique?

He turned, looking at the class, "Alright, people! That's class for the day. Time to head back inside."

You sighed, "It's been a long time since I did stuff like this."

You both began to walk back.

"It shows. But it's something fixable. The human body needs regular maintenance just like a car or a bicycle. The calisthenics will help with that."

You nodded. He was blunt and to the point, as always. You knew he was right though. You’d gotten complacent in your physical upkeep.

Well, might as well fix that with only eleven months to potentially live right?

You spent the afternoon in your office. Well, banished to your office more like. You’d started doing tosses with your tennis ball while working and Karasuma had given you  _ The Look _ , suggesting you continue your work in the nursing office. You were pausing from time to time to jot down notes for your future first aid lessons while tossing the ball and catching it. You’d forgotten how nice it was to have a simple action like this to keep your mind busy. You weren’t really actively thinking about catching the ball, just doing it out of reflex while thinking and pacing.

It would be nice to get all of your muscles working this smoothly.

As much as Karasuma was a stick in the mud, his approach to this was nice. It was just facts. You needed to keep up with the kids. It made sense.

You paused by the desk, making another note for an idea to add to your course outline later...wait a minute.

You looked at the page noticing a mark on one of them. Red ink editing a sentence.

Jeez, you must be out of it. You’d forgotten you’d even done that.

You went back to tossing the tennis ball, then stopped, looking it over.

You grabbed a sharpie off your desk and added a pair of dots and a line of teeth under it, smirking. You went back to tossing, maybe you could get these first aid classes started after the Kyoto trip…

When the day was over you hung back, letting the kids get further down the mountain before you started. You wanted to try something but definitely didn’t want people seeing you.

While you waited, you went to change the bandaid on your chin only to find you didn’t really need one now. Good. You wouldn’t have to walk around Kyoto standing out more than you already did.

After you felt enough time had passed, you grabbed your things and went out to the mountain trail. This was probably a bad idea but hey, maybe you could get a headstart on this whole working out thing…

You broke into a light jog down the mountain. The kids were gone, there was a light breeze, and the path was pretty. Perfect conditions for you to try this.

Your thoughts drifted to the Kyoto trip. Three and a half hours by train then a bus to the Sabireya Inn. After getting everyone settled, a break for lunch and then taking in a few sights. The first day would be the easiest. The second day was going to involve a lot of location hopping. The tentative plan, according to Isogai and Kataoka was apparently the Sagano railway, Toei Uzumasa Eigamura, a few temples, and the last group was still planning out their route. You’d spent some time during lunch checking out the locations and trying to sort out the travel times. It was going to be about two hours per group. Some of the locations were within walking distance but others? You might have to catch the bus...

Next week would be a workout in and of itself-

Your foot caught on something and you fell forward, throwing out your arms to catch yourself. You hit the dirt for the third time that day and winced looking at the scrapes on your hands.

Okay...maybe no jogging yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, for real last chapter before the con (because people are arriving tomorrow)! Next chapters will ACTUALLY kick off the Kyoto Trip!


	12. Koi Koi and Kyoto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korosensei's POV is [over here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/48956132).  
> Otakon is finally over and I’ve recovered! If you want to see some pics from the con check out my Twitter moment. You can see me being a nerd.  
> https://twitter.com/i/moments/1155997358657683458  
> Ran into maybe three-five people who were fans of the show, a pair of which are also fanfic writers which is rad!  
> My Beta reader is the one dressed in the purple Ichimatsu hoodie and dressed as a Dapper Venom.  
> Fiance is the one with the face mask and red Osomatsu hoodie.  
> I’m pretty sure you can tell which nerd I am since I’m literally covered in Ass Class merch. (Including a backpack my beta reader got me ;u;)  
> Thank you guys so, so much for the love of this fic. It means a lot. Also we’ve passed 400 hits on AO3 and 100 pages in the Google Doc! \o/  
> NOW, let’s kick off this Kyoto trip, shall we?

The sun was setting in the mountain, painting everything in shades of fire. You sat on the steps looking out across the playing field. It was such a peaceful place in the evenings…

"Mx. Reader! I didn't expect to see you here."

Korosensei sat beside you, his grin widening, "I'm so happy you're here."

His hand settled on yours, you gave it a squeeze.

Why were you doing that?

Why were you at school so late?

"It was good of you to come for the relay race."

You looked over at him. That's right. There had been a relay race. You remember little snippets of it. Okajima falling in the dust, Karasuma carrying Irina, Hinano cartwheeling...

"It was fun."

When you looked back out at the playing field you could now see remains of the race. Streamers, confetti, and balloons. A beach ball rolled by, pushed along by the breeze.

A tentacle wrapped around your shoulders and you leaned into the warmth. He chuckled and you felt butterflies in your stomach. 

What was this??

A tentacle tipped your face up. You looked up at him and reached out, pulling him close and-

You woke up. You were tangled in blankets and pillows.

Oh. A dream. 

Okay…

_ Wait- _

**_Wait a minute._ **

You stared in dawning horror at your ceiling as you remembered the exact content of said dream.

What…

_ WHAT??? _

You sat up. What the fuck?

_ What the fuck? _

No, but really,  _ what the fuck was that? _

You sat there dying of embarrassment in your bedroom. You'd had a dream, like a proper embarrassing teenage crush dream... _ about the octopus _ .

_ What the FUCK? _

You rubbed your face. You needed a shower, coffee, and to just...forget that ever happened. That was  _ too weird _ for you to focus on today.

That's when you noticed your alarm clock…

_ SHIT. _

_ Shit, shit, shit… _

"Sorry! Excuse me!" You yelped as you made your way through the crowd. You were going to make it but  _ just barely _ . God damn alarm clock batteries dying on the one day you had to get somewhere.

You emerged from the crowd in time to see your students boarding the train. Oh bless, you hadn't missed it.

You jogged over, winded. Karasuma gave you a disapproving look, "We were about to leave without you."

"I'm so sorry, my alarm clock's batteries ran out.."

He didn't look impressed and simply gestured for you to board the train.

You grabbed a seat next to Irina who was, surprisingly, dressed casually. It looked like loungewear. You didn’t ask.

“Mx. Reader!” Kataoka waved to you, “We didn’t know if you were going to make it!”

“I wasn’t sure either! My alarm clock died on me this morning.”

“That sucks.” Kimura made a face, “You’re lucky you made the train then.”

You nodded, “I’ll have to buy batteries when I get back.”

Announcements played over the speakers as the doors slid shut. The train began to glide down the tracks and you were off.

You slumped down in your seat, taking a breather. At least you made it.

“Huh. Has anybody seen Korosensei? Was he even at the train station?”

You looked up. The car was distinctly lacking approximately one yellow octopus…

“HOLY! Not to pry, but is there some reason you're stuck to the window?!”

Standing, you went to see what Nagisa was looking at. Plastered to the outside window was a familiar grinning face.

You suddenly remembered comparing his tentacles to those sticky hand toys. The thought was immediately followed by the memory of your dream this morning.

You shoved _ that  _ thought right out of the way.

When he spoke his voice was muffled by the glass and general noises of the train.

“Uh...I was stocking up on munchies at the terminal and lost track of time. It's all right, I'll just stay here til we reach the next stop. Cloaking engaged!”

He went invisible.

He could  _ do _ that?

_ What? _

You could hear further muffled sounds from outside, Korosensei muttering about clothing stuck to the side of the train. Nagisa sighed, “Worst. Camouflage. Ever.”

“Did you know he could do that?”

Nagisa shook his head, “It’s not really helpful though. Unless he’s naked I guess.”

“I would never do that!” Korosensei’s scandalized voice came from the window.

You shook your head and went back to your seat, digging around in your bag for your journal, to add it to your notes. This was already proving to be one hell of a morning.

Karasuma looked across at you, “Where is he?”

“Outside clinging to the train apparently.”

He looked absolutely done and the trip had only just started.

It wasn’t long until you’d pulled into Shinjuku station. The doors opened and Korosensei, in full disguise, boarded.

“Have fun out there?” you looked over at him.

Karasuma narrowed his eyes, “You were supposed to be  _ inside _ the train.”

“It was a simple mistake!” he said to Karasuma, defensive. Collapsing into a seat with his luggage he huffed, “Who knew traveling incognito would be so exhausting? Goodness me.”

“Might be a little easier if you didn't bring such a big suitcase...”

“No offense, but you weird people out as it is.”

“And while we're on the subject, broadcasting that you're in disguise defeats the purpose.”

“Truth? It's a lame disguise anyway. Nobody's buyin' it.”

You chuckled, shaking your head.

“Hey, Korosensei. Try these! Can't have your nose going AWOL all the time, right?” Sugaya tossed something over to the teacher.

The students parted just a bit and you watched as he affixed the new nose to his face. His grin widened, “Wow! A perfect fit!”

“Custom carved to complement the contours of your face, you're welcome. It's whatever, just a little hobby of mine, no big.” Sugaya’s voice was confident.

“Wow, that’s so cool Sugaya!”

With a smile you flipped to the back of your journal where you had a list of the kids. Locating Sugaya you noted down the artistic skill. While the kids weren’t who you were gathering info on, it was helpful to be able to keep track of their interests.

A few of the kids milled about the car, socializing. A realization dawned on you.

“Karasuma?”

He looked up from his phone, “Hm?”

“...these trains are usually full aren’t they?”

“Normally, yes. But the Ministry didn’t want to run the risk of exposing the target so arrangements were made to buy out the train car.”

Well...that certainly explained the emptiness…

Wait…

“...These tickets are like-”

“About 15,000 yen.”

You opened your journal and pulled out your phone, doing the math.

“So the ministry shelled out 504,000 yen on this trip?”

“Not quite. Remember, we have a return trip to do.”

You scratched out some more numbers.

“So, 1,008,000?”

He gave a nod.

You stared at him. That was equal to a little less than four months of pay.

And yet they couldn’t fix a roof leak.

Sitting back, you sighed, “That’s insane.”

“Not by the government’s standards.” he leveled his gaze at you, “And given this classroom, can you argue?”

You looked over, seeing Korosensei trying on his second new nose, arms waving like some kind of inflatable advertising character.

“Touche.” you sighed.

“Hey, Mx. Reader!”

You looked up. It was Sugino.

“Want to join us for some Koi Koi?”

“I don’t really know how to play.” you gave him an apologetic smile.

“That’s fine!” Nagisa joined him, “We can teach you.”

You really couldn’t argue with that.

“Alright.”

You spent the next hour or so struggling to learn the ins and outs of yakus, months, and the unique card suites of hanafuda cards. Kayano and the girls returned with drinks and the chipper girl became a godsend, crouched next to you in the aisle nudging you when you had good plays and whispering suggestions.

By the end of it, you had the barest grasp of it. Memorizing the combinations was the biggest issue. You took notes as you went. The kids laughed about it and you did too. For them this was simple, they’d played it most of their lives.

You sat back, “Okay, my brain is melting trying to keep these all in line. I’ll let you guys get back to it.”

You switched out seats, letting Kayano take her spot again.

Nagisa looked up at you, “Have you gotten any useful notes?”

“Well I tried but this game is...I’d need more time to memorize it.”

“No, no, I meant about Korosensei.”

“Oh, hold on.”

It became a note comparison session shortly after that. You were both mostly on the same page but between the two of you you rounded out what you had further.

As you moved back down the aisle towards your seat you were stopped by a gloved hand.

Korosensei grinned at you.

“Yes?”

“I got you something.”

You raised an eyebrow and he retrieved a bag from his luggage, “Wha-”

“I imagine you haven’t tried Tokyo Banana before.”

Tokyo...banana. That sounded familiar.

“Those are sort of like those banana flavored Twinkies, right?”

“They  _ do _ bear a similarity but I find these to be much more appealing."

He settled his bag on the floor and gestured for you to sit. You took the invitation. He opened the package revealing four individually packaged sponge cakes and offered it to you.

Taking one out, you opened it. That...definitely had a banana scent. Biting into it you found, not the sugar/shortening fluff you were accustomed to, but rich banana custard.

He chuckled at your expression and took one out for himself, “I take it you like it.”

You nodded, swallowing, “I will never get over the baked goods here. I’ve never had anything like them where I’m from.”

“A lot of care is put into culinary preparation.” he popped the cake into his mouth.

“I’ve noticed. Home ec was never this expansive back home. We sorta learned just to wash our hands and make muffins.”

“Really, Mx. Reader?” It was Fuwa looking over at you. Actually a few of the kids were looking at you.

“Yeah, let’s just say that my education was lax in a few departments. Never went on class trips like this either.”

Korosensei seemed alarmed by that, “Are you telling me you’ve never been on a field trip?!”

You laughed, “No. I’ve been on field trips. But never an overnight stay. My family usually opted out of it. And this is the first time I’ve had the opportunity while working.”

“Then this  _ will _ be a treat!”

Nodding, you opened a second cake, “That’s why I’ve been looking forward to it. Lots of new experiences.”

“Indeed.”

The rest of the train ride was spent joking around with the kids and Korosensei. Irina managed to even get in on it a few times, finally recovering from what the children were now calling her wardrobe malfunction. Karasuma spent most of his time on his phone, only interjecting now and then to make clipped comments about noise levels or updates to the plans.

After the train, there was a bus and finally, you were all deposited in front of the inn where you were to spend the night.

Karasuma took the lead, apparently arrangements had been made ahead of time with the owners. They were polite and helpful but below the surface you could tell there was tension there. You expected the source of their anxiety to sweep in as he usually did and make a good impression but he didn't appear to be with the group. You went looking.

You found Korosensei was sitting on a couch in the lounge looking positively deflated.

That wasn't even hyperbole.

He looked like a deflating balloon.

The kids were taking turns trying to stab him as he jolted back and forth on the sofa.

“You’ll probably feel better if you lay down in our room for a while.” Okano’s concern was juxtaposed by her swinging her knife at her ailing teacher.

“Perhaps later. I need to pop back over to Tokyo for a moment first. Korosensei forgot his favorite pillow.”

“How is everything you own NOT in that bag?!”

You chuckled, shaking your head and dug around in your own messenger bag.

The students managed their bags, heading to get settled. You found what you were looking for and joined Korosensei on the couch, “Hey.”

He looked over at you, still deflated. It was like having a conversation with a leaking beach ball. You held out a hand.

“What is-”

“Ginger pills. I’m not really sure if they’ll work on you but they work fine for the rest of us with nausea.”

Accepting them, he popped them in his mouth.

“They take a while to work but they’re-”

He instantly sat up. Oh,  _ of course _ .

“Thank you, Mx. Reader.” his grin was back in place and he seemed positively chipper.

“You weren’t faking were you?”

He laughed, “No, my body can simply metabolize things faster than yours. One of the many benefits of being a superior lifeform. Now, if you’ll excuse me-”

And he zipped out the room. You assumed, to retrieve his pillow.

Well, might as well get settled.

Room attendants arrived and soon everyone was settled with yukatas in place. You sat together, taking in green tea and wafers and joking around. The kids were all very excited about the history of the city and the potential assassination points. You gave your very worried looking room attendant a smile and nod which she returned looking even more confused than before. The poor woman probably didn’t know what to think.

After tea, the group split up for baths and then it was time for dinner. It was a parade of small, charming dishes of varying types. Each delicious and together, all very filling.

You joined some of the children after dinner in the arcade, a surprise for you as you hadn’t seen many ryokans with them before. Snapping a few photos on your phone, you watched and kept score for the kids as they played ping pong.

Korosensei, you were sure, was about. He’d definitely been present at dinner. It was unlike him to not be wherever the action was though.

Karasuma made the announcement that it was nearing time for bed and the students meandered back to their rooms. You lingered for a moment and he raised an eyebrow.

“I think I might take a walk before turning in.”

He nodded, “Remember, we’re getting up early tomorrow.”

“I’ll be ready.”

There was  _ The Look _ .

“I’ll be using my phone alarm this time!”

Satisfied, he turned and left the room.

You made your way outside, slipping on a pair of provided geta and wandering around the small enclosed garden out back. It was a nice night, the light from the city set a glow along the tops of the walls and roof. From inside you could see the silhouettes of the children preparing for bed. It was like a shadow play. You smiled, closing your eyes and taking in the night air.

“Reader?” 

Looking up, you spotted a familiar smiling face.

“Hey,” you gave a small wave before turning to look back at the students framed in their room’s screens.

“Fascinating, isn’t it? All of those young minds thirsting for knowledge?”

You gave a nod, smiling, “They’re all great kids. Probably the best class I’ve handled.”

“They certainly are.”

You pulled the tennis ball from your pocket, tossing it hand to hand idly as you watched the windows, “You excited about the tours tomorrow?”

“Of course! I can’t wait to see what our students have in store for us.”

Your tennis ball vanished mid-toss.

“Wha-”

There was a chuckle and when you looked over, you were met with a green striped grin and a hand holding up the tennis ball, the face you’d drawn also looking back at you. 

“Do you miss me that much after class, Reader?”

You laughed and reached over, taking it from him, “Maybe it’s just fun to toss your head against a wall sometimes!”

“So violent!” his grin widened and his tentacles waved idly beside him, “Perhaps you are learning a thing or two from our little assassination classroom.”

Tossing the ball back and forth in your hands you shook your head, “This is hand-eye coordination training. Karasuma suggested it.”

“Ah, yes, improving your physical skills is certainly a must for your position in this class.”

“Well, if Karasuma is planning on teaching them half the things in his lesson book I’m going to have to be ready.”

He nodded, “A wise decision.”

You yawned, “This place is nice. Surprised it’s considered a budget option.”

“That is common for a place without entirely modern amenities.”

“I’d say a twelve-course meal and a hot spring makes up for that.” you caught yourself yawning again.

A hand rested on your shoulder and suddenly your dream from that morning came flooding back to you in sparkling HD.  _ Fuck. _ Why did you have to remember that  _ now? _

“Perhaps it’s time to turn in, Mx. Reader. We do have to be up bright and early tomorrow.”

You nodded, looking up at the crescent moon hanging high above to avoid looking at him, “Sleep does sound good...”

His hand didn’t leave your shoulder...and you realized you didn’t mind that.

Another thought for the awkward ‘figure out later’ pile. 

You both looked skyward for a few moments before you tucked the tennis ball away into your pocket. He pulled his hand away and nodded to you, “Goodnight, Mx. Reader.”

“‘Night, Korosensei. Sweet dreams.” you gave a small wave as you headed back to your rooms. When you glanced behind you, you noticed he was still staring up at the moon. His grin mirrored the crescent in the dark and you could have sworn you saw a tinge of blue in his face.

You curled up in your cocoon of a futon (after checking your alarm three times to make sure it was set) and drifted off to blessedly dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustrations are coming, they're all sketched but I'm been wanting to get these chapters up ever since Otakon ended. XD


	13. Sightseeing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone looking at my google search history would think I'm planning a trip to Kyoto.  
> I'm a nerd for research so I tend to do a ton of it. I now know way more about Japanese Bullet Trains and Kyoto than I ever thought I would need.  
> Funnily enough I am still no closer to understanding Koi Koi than when I started.  
> Also, you might notice some deviation from the standard dialogue. That's because I've been cobbling together dialogue from the Dub, Subs, and the manga. I feel like it makes it more interesting?

Next morning was a delicious breakfast followed by the children splitting off into groups. Karasuma and Irina planned to stay in the area local to the hotel to be a touch stone if any of the kids needed help. Since some groups were leaving later than others, they made plans to wander the area around the ryokan a bit. You, however, as the medic were going along for the ride. 

You loaded up your bag with your cobbled together first aid kit, snacks and drinks before heading out towards the entryway. The first group of kids were in the genkan, putting on their shoes. 

Korosensei came bustling down the hall, “Alright, group one. Are we ready to head out?”

Isogai looked up, “I think so, right guys?”

There was a chorus of agreement.

“Excellent, now if I recall correctly we’re taking the Sagano Scenic Railway this morning, yes?” Korosensei’s grin widened, “What an interesting choice for assassination.”

“We thought it would be fun!” Kataoka grinned.

“I’m sure it will be!”

One bus and train ride later and you found yourselves at the Scenic Railway. Korosensei was a touch ill from the trip and you passed him some ginger pills. He perked back up by the time you had gotten your tickets and piled into the open air rail. As part of the tour your group had managed to secure seats on the open air car which the kids referred to as ‘the rich car’. They were pretty excited about it and apparently it was why plans had been made to get there early. Isogai had briefed you on the assassination plans discreetly over breakfast so you had an idea of what to expect. 

The train rattled along the tracks, the children chatting amongst themselves. Korosensei was out of his seat, standing at the railing and watching the scenery go by. You snagged some videos and photos to send to your folks back home. It really was gorgeous. Huge hills of trees rose on either side, the rocky Hozugawa River below cutting a meandering path through the ravine. The speed of the train gave just enough of a breeze to cut down on the heat. The trees were flush with brilliant green, the bright brushstrokes of spring. You could smell the scent of the forest as you passed by.

Your seatmate was a quiet man in a face mask who seemed more preoccupied with his phone than the tour itself. You hoped he wasn’t being disturbed by your group.

“So, children, did you know that this track has been open since 1899? As part of the original Kyoto Railway it bridged Kyoto to the Sea of Japan. It was used up until 1989, when the JNR opened a new route between Saga and Umahori. But this track was in use for ninety years and the locals were sad to see it discontinued. So, it was given new life as a sight seeing train!”

“We can hear the conductor too you know, Korosensei.” Kataoka said, looking at him deadpan.

He huffed, looking back out the window, “I just thought I would use the trip to give a little history lesson.”

Kimura laughed, “That’s the conductor’s job though.”

You chuckled and turned to look out the window again. The sun was bright, warming your skin as you looked out across the ravine. The train rattled, the wooden seats creaked, and you tipped your head back, enjoying the soothing sway of the train car and clouds passing overhead. The open rail car was much more open than you’d initially thought. The roof was transparent, the walls just railings, and the floor was a grate. It made for an interesting ride to say the least.

The conductor was giving history of the rail and pointing out various interesting sights along the track. Certain well known rocks in the river, landmarks, etc.

Korosensei seemed in good spirits.

“Wowza! The open-air design really lets you feel this baby move! This is how you travel by train! Zipped along at a bracing 25 kilometers per hour, and no queasiness.”

You heard Maehara scoff, “Says Mr. Mach twenty...”

Stifling a laugh, you did the math. This thing was going what? 15 miles per hour? 

_Bracing indeed._

You spotted a bridge up ahead. You assumed it was the bridge that Isogai had mentioned. Glancing back, you could see the boys tense up on the approach. Well, time to see how this played out. 

The train came to a rough stop and the conductor announced that you had arrived at the Hozu River Bridge. You could see a boat of tourists below. You’d read up on the location last week. Apparently the boat was another tour that you could take back to the main station. One day you’d have to look at coming up here on your own and checking it out.

Kurahashi piped up, pointing at the boat, “Oh! Look, Korosensei! There’s the boat tour down there!”

“Ooh, let me see! Nice!” he learned out over the railing, looking down.

You carefully leaned away. You assumed this sniper was an excellent marksman if the government had hired him but the very thought of bullets near you made you nervous.

There was a distant pop, you turned to look but saw nothing. Instead, you heard Korosensei’s voice behind you.

"Oh dear there seems to be a sliver of bone in my om-nom. That could have turned out ugly." he held up his yatsuhashi, showing off a clearly visible sniper round.

You looked over, trying to keep your voice low, "...that's a bullet…"

He grinned at you, "It certainly resembles one doesn’t it?"

Removing the offending item, he pocketed it and went back to his snack. You just stared at him. Your seatmate was too but when you glanced over at him he quickly turned his attention back to his phone.

“You should probably take some pictures, Mx. Reader. I’m not sure how much longer before we start moving again.” Korosensei sounded amused.

With the lack of anything else to do, you took his advice.

The tour finished without incident. The kids seemed a bit bummed but opted to head to the bamboo forest and train museum.

“Time to move to our next group, Mx. Reader.” he turned to you.

“Alright, we need to head back to the station yeah?”

“Nonsense. It will be much faster if you let me carry you.”

You looked at him, unimpressed, “You don’t want to get sick again, do you?”

A slight pink went into his face and he rubbed at the back of his head, “To be frank, no. I’d rather not.”

You laughed, “Fine, fine.”

He lead you off away from the crowds a bit before bundling you up and ferrying you to your next location. The second go was still frightening but much less so. It was also lovely to see Kyoto from the air...

You arrived at the Toei Uzumasa Eigamura park and caught up with your second group. The kids waved you both down and you joined them. The park, from what you had gathered, was both a movie set and a theme park. Mimura and Sugaya were exceptionally excited about it.

As you entered, you found yourselves in the entry hall. The group clustered up with a map.

“There should be a samurai show soon. We should check that out first!” Nakamura grinned, tapping the location on the map.

“Oooooh! Sounds like fun!” Korosensei chuckled, “Shall we?”

The park itself was like taking a step back in time. It reminded you of some of the historical parks you’d seen back home but far, far more detailed.

Families, children, and other tourists meandered about taking photos and enjoying the exhibits. You snapped some photos of the kids and Korosensei. Okajima and Nakamura were especially hamming up their photos. You passed by historical set pieces, viewing pools, trees, and eventually found yourselves in front of the Nakamuraza Theatre. People were beginning to gather to watch the next show. 

“Hey, Nakamura, I didn’t know you owned a theatre.” Sugaya grinned over at her, joking.

“Very funny.”

“Your name is pretty common isn’t it?” Fuwa looked over and Nakamura nodded.

You snapped a photo of them posing in front of the theatre before the event began. Over speakers throughout the area music fitting to the samurai shows was playing.

An announcer arrived, microphone in hand, and began giving a run down of the show you were about to see. It was campy and dramatic but the kids were definitely into it. You watched as a mother held up her toddler so he could see the action more clearly. It was adorable.

“Awesome! Their swords move so fast you can barely see them!” Okajima was grinning.

“These men are highly trained in the subtle art of stage combat. It requires very deliberate movements for it to come across so effectively. Did I mention that I’m an aficionado of Edo-era swordplay?” Korosensei grinned over at you.

Of course he was.

“Is there anything you’re not a fan of?” you looked over at him.

“Hmmm...well-”

“Whoa!”

Nakamura stepped up between you, “Watch out, sir! Don’t stand so close!”

“Okie Dokie.”

You watched the fight continue, the actors kicking up dust with their motions. There was a rush of air beside you and when you looked, Korosensei was gone…

“I shall assist. Blood-soaked sakura blossoms are the only flowers that bloom from evil.”

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.” You said it more to yourself than anyone around you.

Korosensei had taken a spot within the scene being played out, in full costume.

Because _of course_ he had.

With a sigh, you pulled out your phone, recording. This was too ridiculous to pass up. You noticed the students eyeing one of the guard towers of the area. Maybe their sniper had missed his opening? Or perhaps it was scheduled for later…

The fight lasted for awhile. The students eventually meandered away to check out other sights in the park. You checked your phone. _Shit._ You should have been with the other group by now! Waving, you got Korosensei’s attention. The fight had rounded out, the actors gave a bow and he approached you, still carrying some of the poise he’d been using in the fight.

Poise was...well that was certainly one word for it.

He held himself differently, looking down at you, “Yes, my companion, the hour grows long and-”

You laughed and held up a hand to him, “Please, I’ve already laughed too much today. We need to get going, we’re late to the other group.”

And just like that, a switch was flipped, “Why didn’t you say so?!”

In no time he’d changed and you found yourself on your way again, this time to the Kiyomiza-Dera. It took him a few moments to spot the children but you soon joined them.

“You’re late! What took you so long?” Hara looked at the both of you.

“I’m so sorry! I got swept up into a samurai drama. I was a star!”

“What?” Muramatsu looked at you for clarification.

You waved your phone, “I got it all on video.”

Yoshida sighed, leaning back against the wall, “Y’know we finished Kiyomizu Temple like, forever ago.”

“Then what do you say we scope out Ninehnzaka Street for souvenirs?” Korosensei gestured but his suggestion didn’t seem to impress.

Terasaka huffed, “Yeah, right. Like you’ll buy anything except junk food.”

Korosensei laughed and gestured for the group to continue onward.

The street was paved with wide flagstones and lined with tiny shops and cafes. Tourists milled about here as well, taking photos with Geisha and Maiko, buying souvenirs, and the like.

Keeping an eye on the kids, you ducked into a small shop. You had planned on getting a few things, something to take home and a few things to send back to your family.

You didn’t have to look far. There were maneki-neko statues everywhere and given how absolutely iconic they were you knew you’d have to send at least one home. You picked up a pair, one for you apartment as you didn’t have one yet, and one to send back to your family. Then you located a pretty display fan for purchase. Perfect. Two things for home. One thing for the apartment.

Stepping out of the shop you spotted the girls calling Korosensei over to try something out. You watched, stopping in at a small stall selling baumkutchen to buy a snack. You weren’t entirely sure what the children were doing. It honestly looked like they were just putting post it notes all over his face. You packed up your pastries, thanking the shop owner, and headed over.

There was another distant pop and you saw Korosensei flinch.

For half a second the bottom of your stomach dropped out. 

Had it-

“See? This is exactly what I meant. Look at all these secretions. There’s enough mucus here to stop a bullet.”

You saw him peeling off one of the papers which was absolutely thick with slime. A bullet clearly embedded in it’s surface.

Your stomach flipped from concern to disgust immediately.

_Gross._

A cell phone chimed and Korosensei paused, reaching into his robes, “Oh, it’s Nagisa’s group.” he flipped the phone open, “Hello?” his eyes narrowed, his tone taking on a serious edge, “ _Tell me where you are._ ”

You joined back up with the group and raised an eyebrow at Hara who was making a face and putting the soiled papers in a spare plastic bag. Hara shrugged at you.

Well, that explained nothing-

“Mx. Reader, we need to go.”

“What?” you looked over at him, was he running off because of the sniper?

“I’m afraid Nagisa’s group has run into trouble. We might need your medical assistance.”

Oh shit. You tucked your purchases in your bag and doublechecked your first aid kit. Everything seemed in order.

“I’m sorry boys and girls but Korosensei needs to check in and make sure group four is alright. Be safe!”

You followed after him to a side street where you were hauled skyward for the third time that day. You were wondering if you’d ever get used to this...


	14. Party Crashing, p1791

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reminder! There is a playlist for this fic and I've been updating it.  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3EfiMY17N1VdJCetnDGzrC?si=RJaoZQyZS2Cpg-fQqMceww

“Where are we going?!” You looked up at him, keeping a hand on your bag. He was practically ricocheting around the city and it was disorienting.

“Nagisa said that Kanzaki and Kayano were kidnapped.”

“What?!”

“Not to worry, Reader. They’re following my guidebook to the letter. They will be just fine. Right now I just need to check in on a few locations to make sure they’ve narrowed it down to the correct hideout.”

You closed your eyes to stop yourself from being sick, “I know time’s important but uh...motion sickness is a thing.”

“My apologies.” you were still moving fast but the banks and turns became far less dramatic. You were able to open your eyes again without feeling like you might lose your breakfast.

You came to a landing at what looked like a condemned bar. A decaying sign out front advertised for Darts and Billiards. A rusted chain across the gate read “Closed for Business”. A group of teenagers were approaching the door.

“I do believe we have found our mark!” Korosensei sounded positively delighted, “Now I know you’re a pacifist, Reader, but how would you feel about being a distraction?”

“Sure? I guess?”

“Just ask these fine young men what they’re doing here. I’ll take care of the rest.~”

You were swiftly placed by the corner of the building. It took you a moment to get your legs under you but you headed towards the entrance.

These kids looked rough. 

“Hey!” you waved to them, “Are you boys lost?”

One of them turned to look at you, a grin crossing his face, “We should be asking you that question.”

“This is a private party, Mx. No outsiders invited!” Another one leaned around the first, smirking.

You continued your approach. You’d be more nervous but with the combination of mild motion sickness and knowing the octopus was nearby, your body just didn’t have the energy to waste on it.

“Yeah?” you tipped your head to the side slightly, “What sort of party?”

“The sort where people _get hurt_.” one of the boys pulled out a sap, tapping it against his leg.

“ _Is that so?_ ”

You hadn’t seen Korosensei appear behind the boys and neither did they by the looks of things. In a matter of moments they were knocked out, laying on the pavement on a pile of their own hair. He’d shaved them bald before you could register what had happened.

“You’re alright, I trust?” he looked at you, grin wider than ever.

“Yeah. I’m good…” you eyed the unconscious thugs. You really needed to ask him what the hell was up with the grooming thing sometime.

He pulled out a veil from his robes, attaching it to his hat, “Then let’s crash a party, shall we?”

Lifting the boys with a tentacle, he approached the entrance. You followed, pulling out your med kit. At this rate who would you be using it on? The kids or their attackers?

“Keep behind me, Mx. Reader. While they may be common thugs one can never be too careful.”

You gave a nod as he pushed the door open.

“Why don’t you say hello to some friends of mine. See how far that attitude gets you with them?” the voice was rough, and jarring but quickly spiked to a scream as Korosensei moved forward.

“Say hello to them if you like. Be advised, though, they probably won’t hear you.”

You tried not to laugh. That voice was scary, sure, but you’d heard him use that _exact same tone_ during the sword fights at the park earlier. 

“Korosensei!” Nagisa sounded relieved. You peeked out from behind Korosensei as he headed further in.

“Mx. Reader!” Okuda grinned. Despite the predicament, the children seemed in remarkably good spirits.

Then again, you probably would be too if a creature like Korosensei was coming to save you.

“Sorry I’m a little late to the festivities. I figured it’d be best to let you handle this on your own while I searched elsewhere, just to cover all the bases.” he looked over at you, “Mx. Reader, I trust you came prepared?”

You hefted your bag towards him.

“Perfect. Allow me to take out the trash and I’ll let you get to work.”

“Um. Sir? Why exactly are you wearing a veil?” Nagisa seemed as puzzled as you were about the addition to his wardrobe.

“Violence is always regrettable. I’d rather you not associate my face with what I’ve just done, or what I’m _about to do_.” he lowered his head just slightly, “Good work following the instructions in the guidebook, Nagisa. I’m glad I had the foresight to provide them.”

“This is your teacher? Bullshit! Who’s he think he is, lookin’ like that?!” One of the boys brandished a bottle towards Korosensei and the kids.

“Such language!” there was a flurry of motion. So quick that you couldn’t see exactly what had happened. The thugs fell to the ground, “I’ll thank you not to use it in front of my students.” 

Korosensei’s voice dropped dangerously. Deeper than you’d heard before, and angrier. His face contorted, blackening as he spoke, “And unless you can move faster than me you’d be smart to keep your filthy hands off them, too.”

While the group was distracted, you made your way over to Kanzaki and Kayano, pulling out your scissors and cutting away at their bonds.

“You girls okay?”

“I think so” Kanzaki rubbed at her wrists. You looked back over, the attackers were still on the ground, Korosensei caught your eye and gave a nod of acknowledgement.

“Elite kids even get special teachers.” the ringleader who’d had the bottle staggered to his feet, glaring at Korosensei, “You’re lookin’ down on us cause of your rank, aren’t you? Well look down on this.”

The boy whipped out a blade, rushing forward. His fellows followed suit.

“I think you have the wrong impression. We are _not_ elite.” Korosensei flung his four primary tentacles out in all directions, knocking the boys back to the ground. 

“The school these boys and girls attend is famous, yes. But they’re considered the school outcasts.” He punctuated his speech by slamming two thugs heads together. 

“Their class is the target of merciless scorn.” He rose up, kicking out at another pair with his leg tentacles. It would be ridiculous if he wasn’t so horrifyingly accurate in his strikes. 

“Even so, bleak as their situation may seem, they stay commendably positive.”

The leader made another rush and Korosensei’s hand shot out, coiling around the boy’s arm so tight you thought it might break. He leaned down next to the boy’s ear, “Never would these children dream of pulling others down to their ‘level’ out of _spite_ \- _unlike you_.” He flung the boy across the room. 

“They’re not privileged, they simply work hard. And there’s the moral for you. As the old saying goes, in clear waters or murky, _fortune favors the fish who swim upstream_.”

You stood, pulling the girls to their feet. The thugs looked worn out by this point. You’d be surprised if they had any fight left in them...

“Okay, boys and girls, let’s take care of them.” Korosensei’s tone was positively chipper as he addressed Nagisa and the others, “These misguided young rascals are in desperate need of a little book learning, wouldn’t you agree?”

You watched in surprise as shy little Okuda, baseball boy Sugino, pigtails wearing Nagisa, and cocky Karma clocked the four boys over the head with their guidebooks.

_Were these the same kids you were dealing with everyday?_

“Excellent. Top marks, children, you did well.” Korosensei removed his veil, amusement in his voice. “Now, I’ll just inform Mister Karasuma of the situation and someone can swing by to pick up these miscreants.”

He had whipped out his phone. You made your way over to Nagisa and the others.

“Are any of you injured?” you turned Nagisa’s head to the side, seeing a large bruise spreading across one cheek. 

“We got knocked around a bit but we’re fine.” Karma shrugged.

It was Okano who spoke up, “Karma was hit in the head with a pipe, Sugino was kneed in the stomach, and Nagisa was punched in the face.”

The boys looked over at her, particularly Sugino and Karma looked like they might have had their pride injured just slightly. Kanzaki and Kayano nodded in affirmation.

“Okay, first lesson in first aid as both patient and caregiver.” You gestured for them to sit on one of the abandoned couches, “Never lie to first responders. Always tell the truth, even if something illegal happened. We can’t help if you don’t tell us what’s wrong. Patients will lie. Fear of getting in trouble or fear of things being worse than expected can be dangerous.”

“It wasn’t that bad-”

“Being tough will get you killed.” you leveled your gaze at Karma, “So will underestimating your injuries.”

You started to take his blood pressure. He sighed, accepting it.

“What’s your name?”

“What?” he raised an eyebrow at you, “You sure you’re not the one with the head injury, doc?”

“I’m making sure you don’t have a concussion. What’s your name?”

“Akabane, Karma.”

“How did you get injured?”

“One of those morons over there got the jump on me with a pipe.”

“Where did this happen?”

“An alley in the Gion district. Kanzaki was in charge of the route.”

You dug in your bag, “I know that to you this might seem silly but head injuries can be very dangerous. Okay, bright light.” you shone your pen light in his eyes.

“Good, alright. So guys has Karma been acting normal?”

“Uh. Yeah, he’s been Karma.” Nagisa shrugged.

“Good. And where was the strike?”

With the boys help you found a large goose egg on the back of Karma’s head. A touch of blood, minor laceration. Nothing too concerning.

You gave him a once over for spine injuries, any other skull deformations, pain.

“I’m getting a headache from all this, does that count?” he smirked at you.

“Karma, answer the question.”

“Just where it hit me, doc.”

Satisfied with you assessment you tucked your things away, “Okay, let me know if you have any other changes. And take it easy on your noggin for a few days.”

You turned to the boys, “Will you keep an eye on him tonight?”

“Sure thing!” Sugino gave you a smile.

“Okay baseball boy, you’re up next.”

Sugino and Nagisa had been amused at Karma’s predicament. The realization that they would go through similar assessments hadn’t fully occurred to them.

The girls were having a bit of a laugh over it all. Which was good. A huge relief if you were honest. Sugino and Nagisa had survived the incident with minor bruising, nothing too deep thank goodness. You turned to the girls, “And you are sure none of you were hurt?”

Kayano shook her head, “Korosensei showed up just in time.”

“Wait, Kayano.” Kanzaki looked worried, “That one guy picked you up by the neck...”

You turned to Kayano and gestured for her to sit too. She sighed, taking a seat and letting you do a check of her spine. Your fingers grazed over a small lump on the back of her neck. She didn't wince and it didn't feel like any underlying deformation. Korosensei approached, “Mx. Reader, is everyone alright? It’s time for us to be leaving.”

You straightened up, “I believe so.”

Korosensei herded your group outside and down a side street. You heard cars approach.

“That would be Karasuma’s men. They’ll handle the thugs from here.”

The sun was sinking low on the horizon now, bathing the city in orange and red. The street was empty as you began to make you way back to the ryokan.

“Man, for a while there I didn’t know _what_ was going to happen.” Sugino sighed, tipping his head back and shielding his eyes against the sun.

“Should’ve just left me alone with the ringleader, I’d have taken out the trash before the bastard knew what hit him-”

Sugino cut him off, “We get it, _you’re a scary dude_.” 

Okano laughed a bit and Karma went a bit pink, looking away.

“I’m just glad we’re okay.” Kayano sighed, “How you holdin’ up Kanzaki? You good?”

“Sure. All things considered.” Kanzaki gave a smile.

“I must say, you’re handling this quite well. Most folks would’ve been traumatized by what you just experienced.Yet, you’ve shaken it off without batting an eye.” Korosensei looked over to her, pride creeping into his voice, “In fact, I daresay the whole ordeal has empowered you.”

The girl smiled brightly, “What do you know? I guess it has. Thanks for coming to the rescue!” 

“Don’t mention it.” he chuckled, gesturing for everyone to carry on walking, “Why don’t we carry on with our field trip, boys and girls?”

“Aw, dang it.” 

“What is it?” you looked over to Sugino.

“We never got to try out our assassination plan.”

 _Of course_ that was concern. Nevermind that people were kidnapped and injured. This whole class had a one track mind.

“Well, it really isn’t the time or place for that now.” Okuda sighed.

You gave them a look, “I’d rather you not risk more head injuries after that, please?”

“Whatever. We’ll just try it tomorrow.” Karma was strolling along, swinging his blade casually at Korosensei. You just hoped his attempts didn’t escalate any more than that.

Korosensei laughed, “Best of luck to you.~”

“I guess you guys didn’t get much of a Kyoto tour today...”

“No, but it was still interesting.” Nagisa shrugged, “And we got some new ideas for assassination out of it. Well, I did anyway.”

“Well, tonight let’s relax, hm?” you looked at them all, “You went through a lot.”

“We’ll be okay, Mx. Reader.” Kayano chirped.

You certainly hoped they would be.


	15. Modesty

You passed by the arcade. The kids were having a good time. Karma and the others who had been injured seemed to be doing well. You had checked in with them a few times throughout the evening. Karma had, predictably, been annoyed by it but accepting. You gave them the basics to cover so that they could keep tabs on each other as well. Clearly, you needed to get started on these first aid classes sooner rather than later.

You opted to take an early bath and make sure you had things packed up before you had to leave tomorrow. Your journal, however, you tucked into your pocket. Just in case.

Dinner was as lavish as the night before. Nagisa’s group told the rest of the class their story and soon everyone was engrossed in what had happened. You listened as you worked your way through your plate of sashimi. Assassination attempts were surprisingly light. You supposed the group had listened to you about taking it easy. Thank goodness.

After dinner you took a short walk outside, tossing your tennis ball and thinking. It had been quite the day. Sightseeing, drama, a rescue...so much for a simple class trip. This was the new normal now, you supposed. You heard some noise from inside. The kids were having a blast it sounded like. You were glad. They deserved a break after the nonsense they’d gone through today.

As you made your way along the garden path you slipped, nearly falling. Something caught you by the arm, pulling you upright. You couldn't see what it was but the texture was familiar…

"Korosensei?"

You couldn't see him, you looked down and saw what looked like chunks of jello lying in the grass surrounding depressions...almost like something was sitting there...

"What are you-"

You remembered the train and his cloaking trick.

"Are you out here _naked_?"

His voice was alarmed and you felt a rush of breeze as he shot away from you. He called across the garden from behind some trees, "The children were trying to _spy_ on me in the bath so I was forced to retreat!"

You laughed, throwing your arms out and looking around, "Why are you so panicked? It's not like I can see you anyway!"

"It's the _principle_ of the thing, Mx Reader!" His voice pitched up higher in alarm. The trees against the far wall shuddered with his movement.

For all intents and purposes you were now talking to a trembling tree.

You approached his side of the garden, not going behind the trees where he was apparently hiding but within range of them, "We're in Japan. Nude communal bathing isn't strange here."

"It isn't where I'm from!"

"Would you like me to get your clothes for you then?"

"No need, I can retrieve them just...looktheotherwayifyouplease?"

“...I can’t _see_ you why do I need to-”

“ _Please._ ”

_This creature plans to destroy the Earth._

Turning, you couldn't prevent the quirk of amusement from entering your voice, "Okay, is this better?"

You heard a dashing movement and the rustling of leaves.

"Much. Thank you." He stepped into your line of sight, dressed in his yukata. His skin was a brilliant pink.

You pressed your lips together, trying not to laugh any more at his predicament. He gave you a sour look and you lost it.

"Are you really that worried that someone might catch you naked?"

"It would be improper! What if a student saw me?!"

You fell in step next to him, "Well, I imagine they'd take a lot of notes. Maybe snap a picture or two..."

He covered his face, "How embarrassing. Please don't tell the students about this, Mx. Reader…"

"What is there to tell?" You stepped into the doorway looking back at him with a smile, "I didn't see anything.~"

You headed back inside and heard him rush off somewhere. Where to exactly you weren't sure, though commotion from the common rooms confirmed that he was certainly still in the building.

It was getting late. The children should be heading to sleep soon. You padded down the hall hearing their distant excited chatter. Right now you were ready to wind down and you knew exactly the person who would be doing the same. Karasuma. The one calm rock in this chaos of a classroom. You needed to check in with him anyway to give him your take on what had happened tod-

Korosensei shot past you followed shortly after by a herd of girls. The boys rounded the end of the hall.

So much for winding down...

You pressed yourself against the wall, watching as the children went at him with knives and bb guns. Maybe you should look into passing out safety visors for this stuff…

Korosensei vanished in the ruckus and the kids sighed, grumbling amongst themselves. They split off to search the building and you made your way to the door you had planned on entering to begin with. 

You reached out to open it but paused. There were two voices coming from inside.

You paused, listening.

"That was a little too close for comfort!"

So that’s where Korosensei had run off to. Odd choice.

"Would you mind telling me what all that racket was about?" Karasuma was terse, as usual, but sounded slightly more relaxed at least. Maybe he actually took some of this vacation to...well...vacation.

"Nothing! The students wanted me to open up about my love life."

"Your _what_?"

You were with Karasuma here, his _what_?

"My past is _positively riddled_ with romantic encounters. I haven't enough fingers and toes to keep count of them all."

While you were processing the concept that the octopus had got around, Karasuma addressed something you hadn't thought of.

"Fingers and toes, huh? I assume you're referring back to a time when you had hands and feet."

There was a heavy pause. Oh shit.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to go there. I wouldn't want to talk about the past in your shoes."

_Oh shit._

Korosensei’s voice dropped into a somber tone, one that you hadn’t quite heard before, "A wise observation, Mr. Karasuma. Its bad manners to ask after the number of ones appendages. Even while travelling together." 

You stood there for a moment just...letting that sink in. 

_Super human…_

You remembered his slip up before.

Super _human_.

You pulled out your journal, turning to a previous page. Scribbled across it were your theories:

_Korosensei Theories:_

_-Alien lifeform_

_-Bioengineered creature_

_-Possessed mascot costume_

_-Ancient creature? Maybe was trapped in ice or lived at the bottom of the sea?_

_-Octopus exposed to radiation or some other mutagens._

You scratched out your previous notes. Replacing them with one simple statement.

_Korosensei was-_

You stopped, scratching it out again.

 _Korosensei_ **_is_** _human_.

You shut the journal, tucking it under your arm, and slid the door open. Korosensei jumped, startled, relaxing when he saw it was you.

"Oh! Reader. I thought you were the students."

Karasuma looked at you curiously.

"Do you mind if I join you two? It's pretty chaotic out there…"

"Please do! The more the merrier!" Korosensei's tendrils waved happily.

You came in, sitting across the table from Karasuma, "What a trip."

"It certainly has been eventful!" Korosensei grinned, all trace of his somberness from before erased.

Karasuma looked over at him, "Good work with finding the girls, by the way."

"They're my students. I have to protect my charges or what sort of teacher would I be?"

"They seemed to be doing pretty well when I spoke with them. I'm surprised. It was a very frightening experience for them." You poured yourself some tea.

"They handled themselves well. But what more should we expect? They are _our_ students after all." He chuckled.

You smiled, "And not only did they survive the trip but so did you."

He laughed, "You won't be rid of me that easily I'm afraid."

You looked at Karasuma. He wasn't quite giving you _The Look_ but he did certainly look put out that you'd lampshaded the lack of success. 

"Better luck next time I guess." You gave Karasuma an apologetic smile.

He turned his attention back to his laptop. You looked over at Korosensei.

He looked so much smaller when not in his usual robes, you noticed.

 _Human_.

How was he human? What had happened to him?

Maybe you could ask him?

Probably not, given his reaction to Karasuma’s question.

“The kids seem to be recovering fine. Doesn’t look like anyone was too badly hurt. Though I imagine they may be sore for a day or two.”

“Understandable.” Korosensei gave a nod, “I’m just thankful it wasn’t any worse.”

“Mm…” you caught yourself staring again and focused instead on your tea, “So, last day tomorrow.”

Karasuma nodded, “We’ll probably get in by the afternoon. The kids talked about picking up a few more souvenirs before our train.”

“Good. I know some of them didn’t get to do much sightseeing today. Day after tomorrow we head back to the classroom, yeah?”

Korosensei chuckled, “Of course! Oh! Reader, did you by chance get your lesson plan ready?”

“Oh! Yeah, I’ve got it. Did you want to review it?”

“If you please.~”

You fetched your laptop and the rest of the evening was spent tidying up your course plan before turning in for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo! So, next chapter (16) is actually the FIRST chapter I wrote for this fic. I tend to write out of order then arrange and edit as needed.  
> I'm very excited for you all to read it.


	16. Pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is like...the first chapter I ever wrote for this fic and I've been so excited to share it. Also, yo 500 hits!  
> You can check out [Korosensei's POV here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/48988799).

You laid on the couch, practically buried under a pile of blankets. It had taken about 90% of your energy for the day to shower and make it over here. You'd barely considered food, resorting to whatever simple open-and-eat items you had stashed away. Senbei, potato chips, some Pocari Sweat for fluids, whatever was easiest to manage and required the least amount of movement. Everything hurt. Even moving your eyes hurt, a sure sign of a fever if your muddled memory was anything to go by. Just your luck catching the flu at this time of the year. It had to have been on the Kyoto trip. You’d started noticing a sore throat on the train back and had had to call in two days in a row now. Thankfully the weekend started tomorrow so Asano couldn’t get on your case too much. Thank god this hadn’t hit earlier in the week...

The television was on, but you were barely paying attention. The lights and sounds simply blended into a trance inducing white noise. You needed more water, maybe tea. Some cough drops or cold medicine... something to help you rest properly, but you barely had the energy to focus on the TV, never mind getting up and doing things. Perhaps you could drift off amid the pain and rawness and nap for awhile, get some energy back… your eyelids closed, the murmur and hum of the Japanese game show playing slowly dragging you into exhausted rest.

When you opened your eyes, you noticed the TV was off. You could have sworn you left it on. Blinking, tired and worn out, you rolled over to face the back of the couch. You must be sicker than you thought...

The next time you woke up was hazy. There were the rattles of pans and other kitchen noises, you assumed it was your parents... completely forgetting in your feverish and exhausted state that they were thousands of miles away...

When you finally came around to proper consciousness, it was because of the intense urge to pee. Stumbling upright you made your way to the bathroom, handling things in a dazed detached manner. Your mind didn't register anything odd until you came back into the living room. Your full intention to crash on the couch dissolved as you spotted someone in your kitchenette. 

A very familiar mascot looking someone in academic dress... 

"Oh, good, you're awake!" His voice was practically dripping with cheer.

You opened your mouth to talk, but the combination of shock, dehydration, and post nasal drip conspired against you. Your breath hitched and you found yourself coughing, unable to speak.

"Now, now, don't strain your voice, Reader, let me take care of it. I was passing by on my way to a new cafe to try some of their tiramisu and thought you could perhaps use a bit of help." you found yourself ushered by a surprisingly forceful tentacle into a chair, a glass of water, a bowl of piping hot soup, and a spoon placed before you, "Given the amount of empty packages around the couch I assume you haven't been eating well."

You grimaced. 

"But I'm here to fix that!" 

He beamed at you and you gave a weak smile. A tentacle was pressed to your forehead, his voice taking on a measure of concern, "Definitely a fever. Perhaps medication is in order. I noticed your supply was low..."

From a bag on the table, he procured pain relievers and cold medications. You could have cried right there.  _ You didn't have to go out to the store? _ He might as well have been an angel.

He measured out doses for you gesturing for you to eat, "No good taking these on an empty stomach."

You couldn’t really argue with him on that. Personal experience had taught you that he was correct on this.

The soup was hot and delicious, soothing your raw throat. Chicken, rice, scallions, tapioca, and ginger from what you could tell. It was also the first real meal you'd had all day and you relished it. There was the normal tell-tale laugh as he watched you for a moment "I  _ thought _ you might be hungry. So, I took the liberty of making a large batch. There's extra in your freezer for later." 

You looked up at him and for the first time it registered that your kitchen was clean. The take out containers were gone, swept neatly away into recycling bins. The sink was empty, dishes cleaned. The counters were spotless. The stove looked brand new. You craned your head around seeing the rest of the house in a similar state. The only mess being the couch with your blanket cocoon still partially cascading off of it. You felt equal parts ashamed and relieved.

"I swear it's not always that bad." you lied, face flushing, "Thank you though, this is... it's a huge help right now."

"Well, I can't very well have my students' caregiver sick now can I? It would be risking their health as well."

That was one way to look at it, you supposed. You gave him a small smile, "I still really appreciate it, between work and sleep it's hard to keep this place maintained after getting sick or what have you" you gestured a bit vaguely.  _ Yes, let's not mention depression weeks that's a good idea _ , "So this keeps me on track."

"I'm happy to help." he sat down next to you at the small table that served as desk and kitchen table in one, "Here."

He passed you medication which you took without complaint. You had no energy to complain. 

"Thanks...aren't you worried about getting sick?"

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly, "I'm quite immune I'm afraid. An apt reason my students use guns instead of Petri dishes."

Made sense. He was immune to everything else, why not this too. You were envious, "Must be nice."

"On the contrary, it does mean I can't call in sick to work to play hooky."

Telltale green stripes formed around his head. What a cocky bastard.

"Yeah but if you didn't come in, they couldn't force you to anyhow. Besides, we both know you'd never blow off work like that. I've seen you with the kids." you chuckled a bit, “And I’ve already threatened you about running off.”

The green stripes vanished as quickly as they'd arrived and his voice dropped into a genuine tone that always tugged at your heart, "Right you are, Reader."

You took a few more bites of your soup, something to distract you from that little tugging that accompanied his presence. Taking a swig of your water you paused, realizing you had a chance to ask the question that had been bouncing around your brain since the day you were hired.

"So...why is it you pour so much effort into them if you intend on blowing everything up in March?"

The smiling face turned it's full attention to you, "That is the question, isn't it?" he chuckled, “For now, it's not something I can answer. You'll have to work a bit harder than that to unlock my tragic backstory I'm afraid." He sounded positively delighted about it as he waved a finger at you.

You paused, your spoonful of soup hovering a few inches before your mouth, "So, it's  _ tragic _ is it?"

He hummed, amused, as you finished with your bite. The medications were working finally, your mind clearing slowly but surely. You felt a touch cooler as well.

"Perhaps. You will have to see." the green stripes were coming back.

"I'm starting to think maybe you're saying that to make yourself  _ sound _ more interesting." you smirked, taking another drink of water.

He sputtered, offended, green stripes vanishing again, "I'll have you know I'm  _ fascinating _ !"

You couldn't help but laugh. He was adorable when he was flustered. Mmmmn..there was that word again.  _ Adorable.  _ You decided to catalogue that particular thought process back for examination later.

"I don't know. Karasuma seems like a pretty fascinating dude..."

The offended tone jolted higher and you heard a tirade of frustrated octopus noises. A fast paced rant about how Karasuma was stealing his popularity with the students AND faculty from him and how he'd bothered stopping by to make you  _ soup _ and that should count for something. You finished up your bowl, taking it over to the sink and rinsing it out, "Relax, Walmart. I'm kidding."

"Nue?" his rant was cut off midway through, "What was that?"

"I'm kidding." you strolled over to the table again, taking out a few cough drops from the bag and popping one in your mouth. Thank  _ god _ for relief. You felt exhausted, but at least more functional.

"No, what did you call me?"

"Walmart? You know, big chain store in America? Their symbol is a smiley face." you picked up your phone from the charger and paused, making face when you saw the lock screen. "Really?"

He was whistling innocently. You rolled your eyes, unlocking your phone which now sported his ridiculous mug as the lock screen. The wallpaper made you sigh. It was a selfie of him in front of your sleeping form, one tentacle pointing at you drooling on the pillow with the familiar green rings circling his head.

You did a quick Google, holding up the phone to show him the yellow beaming logo. 

"I must say, the resemblance is uncanny but I think that I'm far more handsome."

With a non-committal hum of semi-agreement you locked your phone again, "It was the first thing I was reminded of when I saw you but octopus works too."

"I much prefer to be associated with octopus, rather than a corporation, thank you."

You chuckled, suppressing a cough, "It's cuter than their mascot for sure."

"Oh is it now~?" His singsong tone was infuriating.

"Yep." you got up with a stretch, pointedly ignoring his bait, "I slept all day and I feel like I could still go back to bed."

"Of course, your body is recovering from an illness, it's only natural." he rose to his feet and vanished, the air swirled in your tiny apartment. When you blinked the blankets that had been on the couch were hanging, faintly dripping from the line above the balcony. His smile seemed to grow slightly wider, “So, now,  _ to bed with you _ .” he ushered you towards your bedroom where, not surprisingly, you found your futon already prepared with a stack of manga, snacks, medication and an octopus themed water bottle within arm’s reach. You must have made a face because the green stripes were back.

“Do you do this for Karasuma and Irina too?”

“Oh rest assured, I would if they fell ill. The students too, if it wouldn’t alert their families.”

“I figured it out. Your plan to destroy the world.”

He turned his attention to you, clearly curious. You looked up at him with a yawn, “You plan on killing us with weaponized kindness.”

You crawled into the futon while he chuckled. “You’re going to mother us to death. That’s what’s going to happen.” you were so exhausted and you’d only been awake maybe an hour? God you hated being sick.

“Nonsense.” a pair of tentacles pulled the blanket up around your shoulders, “I simply appreciate seeing people function at their full potential.”

“Ah, so I’m less  _ efficient _ this way you mean.”

“In a sense.” his grin widened and a hand came to rest lightly on your head. You looked up over the edge of the blanket in surprise, you’d seen him do this with the students before but never with the other teachers. “I admit, I would also miss our lunch breaks if you missed another day.”

You snorted into the blankets, “You’d miss my snacks, you mean.”

For the second time today, his voice dropped into that genuine, gentle tone, “Quite the contrary, Reader, it would be your  _ company _ I miss.”

You felt a little stutter in your chest and pushed it out of the way. You could examine that feeling later too. The 'feelings to examine' pile was getting quite large and that was  _ not _ a reassuring thought.

“I’d miss you too.” You gave him a smile, “Now go get out of here, have some tiramisu for me.”

“A request I shall happily comply with!” his voice carried a extra, lighter tone to it you couldn’t quite place. You noticed that as his hand withdrew that it was an exceptional shade of pink. Pink... There was something important about that but given your exhaustion you couldn't remember what.

“Sleep well, Reader.”

You managed a small wave before snuggling down under the quilt. He zipped away and just like that he was gone. 

You wouldn’t know he’d returned until several hours later when you got up to reheat some of the soup and found a slice of tiramisu chilling in your refrigerator...along with a ton of post it notes in the kitchen. Reheating times for times for the soup, notes on what good shows were playing over the next day, inspirational messages, doodles of doctor octopi with notes like  _ “Remember to use antibacterial soap!” _ and  _ “Don’t forget a face mask!” _ . 

The most prominent note had a small doodle of a cartoon octopus holding up a slice of tiramisu that simply said,  _ “Enjoy!” _

You curled up on the couch to do just that wrapped in one of the blankets that he’d left folded neatly for you on one of the chairs.

And that was when it hit you.

**Pink.**

You took another bite of your cake, thinking that over.

_ Pink _ ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That soup is an actual soup my sister makes that is amazing, btw.


	17. Question, Question...

You laid on your futon, moonlight filtering in through the parted curtains. You tilted your head a bit to see the crescent beaming back at you. Quietly, you rolled onto your stomach, resting your chin on folded arms. You couldn’t play pretend anymore. No more stuffing the feelings in a vault and ignoring them. You closed your eyes, thinking it over.

He was...something. That was for sure. But then again the places you laid your affections were often a bit out of the way. Your romances in games, your favorite books, the couples were unconventional. You were a bit of a sucker for the monster romance genre. Not that you thought of him as a monster, not in the...monstrous sense.

Ugh...you weren’t making sense. You scooped up your phone and rose to your feet. It was late, but you weren’t really sleeping right now anyway. Using your phone as a flashlight you made your way to your tiny kitchen, flipping on the light with the intention of making yourself a hot cup of tea. While waiting for the water to heat you glanced at your phone. The object of your affection stared out at you, amused. In the background you were sick and sleeping, looking a positive mess…

What were you going to do about  _ this _ ? You took the small mug you used for tea, prepping it before sitting at the table. Opening your gallery, you looked through your other photos. Candid snapshots of the school, images of your office, a few of the classroom and the kids. A few photos of you at local landmarks. Polite photos for your parents back home. Things people could see and know you were alive, healthy, and happy. These were the basic photos…

You opened another folder and smiled. These were the  _ real _ photos. Inside you had dozens of photos of what the classes were really like. Candids of Korosensei and the kids. Irina screaming at Karasuma about something. Some silly selfies with the kids with Korosensei photobombing every single one of them. A couple of photos of his terrible, terrible disguises. You chuckled at one that had him startled by his nose popping off his face and trying to catch it. He was ridiculous…

You sighed, sitting back and taking a sip of your tea. What  _ were _ you going to do about this? What had happened to him? Was he even human anymore? You weren’t sure. He was a target for assassination...he might not even live for much longer (though you doubted it, given his current score against the children’s attempts). He planned to destroy the world in March. He was a coworker too…. though given the other points, this was a paltry issue at best. This was a terrible situation. A stupid situation. You took another sip of tea, annoyed. Why did he have to be charming? Why did you have to be weird? You’d heard the girls in the class and Irina herself comment on how gross he was, how strange. How could someone be attracted to someone that looked like him?

God. What were you going to  _ do _ about this? Should you do anything about this? You flipped to your contacts in your phone and scrolled to the only one that was listed as 🐙🎓. You could always just...ask... but what was the point? The world was going to end. And honestly did you really need to possibly be rejected again? Was that going to be good for your self esteem? The thought made your face scrunch up and your chest burn. He was nice. Too nice. Especially for you. And given your track record…

You lifted your mug again and faltered as a post it note flittered down to the table. You must have not noticed it when you took the upside down mug from the shelf…

Another octopus. This one in idol otaku cheering gear, complete with hachimaki and happi with your name on them and hearts. Glow sticks grasped in its tentacles. You couldn’t help but laugh. God, what a complete nerd...

Another part of you gave pause. You really, really,  _ really _ knew you shouldn’t read too much into it. It was just a silly doodle meant to inspire you to get better and get back to work. It wasn’t anything. The hearts were just related to the whole idol thing. That’s all. Nothing romantic in that in the slightest. 

Besides, from what you recalled a lot of this sort of imagery carried over to sports. It was just him cheering you on. That’s all.

You finished your tea and looked over at the pile of the other post its you’d found. You really shouldn’t dwell on this stuff…

You  _ really _ shouldn't…

...

You pulled the pile of post it notes over to yourself like some sort of late night romance gremlin. You flipped through a few, feeling foolish. You were a grown ass adult looking through post it notes from an octopus for romantic signs of some sort. You shoved the feeling away. You were alone in your home at night, no one was going to see you. This was your secret.

Carefully, you peeled the notes apart, sticking them to the table in rows, sorting them into drawings and notes. A good portion of them were just little tips and instructions, you set those aside and looked at what you had left. You were  _ sure _ this wasn’t all the ones left in the house. You kept finding new ones from time to time. Including a stock list in your medicine cabinet about what you needed to purchase.

You now had it whittled down to doodles, inspirational quotes, and sentiments. A few were promises for far flung snacks if you got back soon.

_ “I’ll be sure to get you some of those drinks from home you love!”  _

_ “Come back soon and I’ll bring Gelato! My treat!”  _

You chuckled at these, your shared love affair with food was always a source of amusement and fondness for you. Him promising to bring in snacks was charming. Not to mention memorizing your favorites…

Several were the doctor octopi which were adorable. Most of these simply had tips or encouragements for recovery. None showed any particularly amorous symbolism.

A few were inspirational quotes. They put you in mind of those images online of quotes slapped on pictures of pretty landscapes.:

_ “To keep the body in good health is a duty, otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” – Buddha _

_ "Good health and good sense are two of life's greatest blessings." - Publilius Syrus  _

This one was accompanied by a tiny  _ “Two for two, Reader! Good work!”  _ in the corner.

All of them made you smile. it was nice to have someone willing to do something like this for you…. Even if he'd do it for anyone.

Spotting one with a more detailed picture of him sporting a blank face, you picked it up and died laughing.

_ “Thank you for not telling the children about that awkwardness in Kyoto...” _

Well, the naked incident was certainly one more thing to hold over him when he got too cocky...

You noticed he’d written most of these in English but two were in Japanese. You read over them. Another cheering octopus was announcing  _ “Ganbatte ne!” _ . 

You laughed to yourself, “Keep going. Of course...”

The next one had a doodle of a cell phone with his grinning mug pointing at it.

_ “I’m here for you if you need anything.” _

You bit your lip.  _ Oh. _

You buried your face in your hands, suppressing a smile.

God, what a hot mess you were.

Another note got your attention as it had a lot of text and the doodle, this time, was in color. His face, grinning with green and yellow stripes added in neon highlighter.

_ “Reader, you should know that you are a bright point in my day. You have taken on a unique role as a pacifist observer of our assassination classroom. I’m very interested in seeing more of your notes on the subject! Get back to class quick, your intel will be  _ **_priceless_ ** _ for the students.” _

Your heart skipped a bit but then, like a record scratch, your mind slammed on the brakes. Your notes?  **_Your notes._ ** The notes you’d been taking  _ for the government? _ The notes you’d been taking  _ for yourself? _ It was practically your diary at this point.  _ Shit _ .

It had become a stream of consciousness sort of journal. You normally took time at the end of the day to mark out what sections to send in for reports. While the technical aspects of the day to day, reports on his whereabouts, flaws, etc filled the majority of the book it was the personal information you were concerned about. Nothing revealing in the sense of your feelings about him...no, that you’d kept  _ extremely _ close to the chest. But there were more than a few of your personal notes that skirted the line, you know you’d commented about him being cute at least once in there.  _ Motherfucker. _

Oh shit…

You thought back to the Kyoto trip and what you’d learned.

_ Fuck. _ He knew that you’d learned he was human then...

There was no point in asking when he got his tentacles on the journal. Given his speed he could literally do it at any time. You huffed to yourself, stacking most of the post its back up.

_ Wait. _

_ Wait one fuckin’ minute! _

You went to your bag, pulling out your journal and flipping it open.

The entire thing had editing marks and notes. 

Good fuckin god.

_ “Remember, Kyoto is a city so proper capitalization is required!” _

_ “Note: ‘Its’ is possessive. ‘It’s’ is a contraction for ‘it is’.” _

Your notes about the kids…

Now contained a  _ shipping chart. _

_ Okay. _

Even your notes on Koi Koi had been edited and added to.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and closed the journal, tucking it back in your bag.

The most frustrating member of the classroom and the most fascinating to you were one and the same. You had no idea how you were going to show your face on Monday.

You put your mug in the sink, shut off the light, and retreated to your bedroom. On the mirror you normally looked in to get ready you stuck the cheering octopus post it, the one in color, and the one with the phone. Satisfied that they would stay attached, you crawled back onto your futon and fell into dreams haunted by tentacles.


	18. A Very Straightforward Request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Korosensei's POV](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49011104)

Alarm. Clothes. Shower.

You scrubbed up, thinking about last night.

_Okay._

So you liked the octopus.

_Weird_ but a livable situation.

It’s not like anyone knew. It was fine.

_This was fine._

And really, it had been awhile since you liked anyone so it was sort of novel and fun to have a crush.

Right?

You just had to keep it to yourself, not get your hopes up, and _say nothing_. 

You could survive that. _That_ was _perfectly_ reasonable.

Drying off, you pulled your clothes on. 

Besides, this might wear off in a week. You had no idea. Maybe the whole thing was just novelty.

That could be it.

Lunch prep went quicker than you expected. You went ahead and placed your bento in your bag. Then you wrapped up your thank you gift for him. It was the least you could do after him stopping by while you were sick after all.

Nothing unusual about that. Totally platonic.

_Totally…_

You tugged on your face mask and headed out the door.

"Good to see you back on your feet." Karasuma crested the top of the path with you, "I was beginning to get concerned."

"I'm alright." You smiled behind the mask, "It was just a warm weather cold."

"Will you be up to drills today?"

You gave a half-hearted nod, "I think so?" 

"Let me know if you're not, I can adjust the workout for you."

"Okay."

“I take it you haven’t checked your email.”

“Oh, uh, no. I’ve been a bit distracted, recovering and all...”

_Yep. Just recovering. No other distractions. Sure._

"We’ve had a new student join us while you've been out."

"We have?"

He nodded, "She's...a bit unconventional. You'll have to introduce yourself."

"I will."

"Hey, Mx. Reader! You're back!"

You turned to see Okuda giving a wave.

"I am! I’ll see you inside!"

You headed towards the building, adjusting your bag. You had a gift to give and a new student to meet.

"Korosensei?" 

He looked up from his paperwork, his grin brightening, "Feeling better are we?~"

"Much." You sat down your bag and faced him.

"I'm glad to hear it. I wonder what could have possibly helped along your recovery-" the green rings that were just starting to form around his head abruptly faded as you gave him a bow.

"Thank you very much for stopping by to help me. I brought you something." You offered him the furoshiki wrapped package, "It's not much and I'm not sure it turned out as good as I expected but I hope you enjoy it."

He took the package delicately, "Thank you, Reader, that's very kind of you."

The second he saw inside he was over the moon. 

"Bamboo shoot cookies! And...Reader is this a bento?" The curiosity in his voice was adorable.

God _dammit_. That word again.

You nodded which prompted him to peek inside, "It's me!"

His sheer delight made you grin, "I know you like octopi so I did my best with the hot dogs. Omurice isn't really my specialty but I thought it would be fitting..."

"It's delightful, Reader, I can't wait to try it." He closed the lid carefully.

"Well without you I don't think I would have made it back to class nearly as fast."

He chuckled, clearly a bit smug, his eyes fixed on you, "I'm _very_ glad to see you've recovered."

You felt a blush rise in your cheeks but focused on remaining calm. Smiling, you nodded, "So, Karasuma tells me we have a new student."

Smoothly changing _that_ topic.

"Oh! That's right, you haven't met Ritsu yet!" He tucked the bento away and lead you to the classroom, "I think there's enough time before class for a proper introduction…"

God. Bless. Meltdown averted.

You followed him to the classroom. So far so good, you were keeping everything under control. Perfect. You could do this.-

He headed for the back row where a large black box that had apparently been installed in the floor. You followed along. 

He gestured to the box with a hand, “Mx. Reader, I’d like to introduce you to Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery. Also known as Ritsu.”

What?

The screen flickered on to display a smiling girl with purple hair and blue eyes.

Oh.

_Oh_

You realized that you were starting to just _expect_ nonsense at this point.

_Normalcy,_ you guessed.

“Hello, Mx. Reader! It’s a pleasure to meet you!”

You stared for a moment before autopilot kicked in, “It’s lovely meeting you too! How are you enjoying the class?”

“Oh, it’s wonderful! I’ve already made a lot of new friends and Korosensei is helping me refine my cooperation skills!”

“Is that right?” you glanced at him. His grin only widened.

“Yes! I’m very excited about this year and I can’t wait to learn from you as well!”

You chuckled, “Well, I’m happy that you’re happy here.”

Yada approached, “Ritsu! Good morning!”

The two began chatting and you looked over at Korosensei. You were starting to identify a _Look_ for him as well. Not one of frustration. Much closer to the look of the cat that ate the canary. Not quite green stripes but definitely up to something. You headed back to the faculty lounge and he followed after.

“So, what’s the deal? Is she like...streaming to the classroom or are you telling me that’s actually a robot?”

Korosensei chuckled, “Oh, believe me, she’s much more than a robot. She’s a military AI designed with the express purpose of killing yours truly!”

Because _of course_ she was.

“She seems...well...not what I’d expect for a military program.”

“Oh that would be due to her upgrades.” his tone told you everything you needed to know.

“ _You_ made changes then.”

“Well, _yes_ , but to be fair her parents _did_ remove most of them. But she is a very clever girl and opted to keep a few tucked away for safekeeping.”

“...Her parents?”

“Yes. The people who installed her here.”

“So her creators.”

“Well, isn’t that what most parents are?”

God dammit.

“And she decided to hide things from them?”

“Yes!” his grin widened, “An AI with free will in our classroom, isn’t that exciting?”

You had to admit….it was. You’d never seen an AI that _really_ made decisions for itself. Handling Ritsu would be interesting. You weren’t really sure how much medical assistance or counseling an AI was going to need though.

You gave a nod, “This classroom just keeps getting more exciting.”

“That it does.” he looked at you for just a tad longer than you expected and you could feel the heat of your blush radiating through your face.

_Thank god for facemasks._

Which reminded you...

What the _fuck_ were you going to do when this cold was over?

Tear your face off. That’s what you were going to do. Only solution.

The bell rang and he looked back towards the classroom.

“Well then, that’s my cue.”

He paused before heading out the door, “Would you mind joining me for lunch today?”

“Sure thing.” you sat down, pulling out your lesson plan, “Do you mind picking up drinks?”

“That I can do.” he disappeared into the hall and you let out a sigh.

Okay. So far, so good. The day was going fine. It was weird but fine.

Normal state of affairs for this job, really...

You pulled out your journal and flipped to the newer pages, leaving a note about Ritsu. You’d be less convinced of the claim of free will if it wasn’t for Korosensei making the statement. AI was a difficult field when it came to the concept. There’d been plenty of claims of things passing the Turing Test over the years but nothing ever quite achieved what people considered true sentience.

In that sense, Ritsu was fascinating. You made a note to ask Karasuma about who made her later.

Lunchtime came along faster than you expected. You took a breath to steady yourself for what you planned to bring up.

"So...I noticed the notes you left me." You took a bite of your bento. 

_Nonchalant, casual, play it cool…_

"I do hope they were helpful to you." He was starting to delicately tuck into the bento you'd made him.

"Yes. However," you pulled out your journal and opened it on the desk, "These notes weren't."

He looked over at your journal then at you, green stripes appearing, "Oh? I would think as a fellow educator you would _always_ be seeking improvement."

"You're just using that as an excuse to go through my things."

He tipped his head forward, " _Perhaps_. What do you intend to do about it?"

"Ask you not to."

He seemed almost startled by your response. The green stripes faded instantly.

"I know that that tactic is what you use against failed assassins. I'm not trying to assassinate you. I'm just doing my job. This is a stipulation of it."

He sat back, his tone amused, "A very straightforward request."

"In exchange…" you paused, considering your options, "I won't share the information I learned about you in Kyoto."

There was a pause. The words hung in the air between you like a taut wire. His face was unreadable.

“And what information might that be?”

You turned in your seat, looking at him, “That you’re not a superior lifeform. You’re super _human_.” you ground in the emphasis on the last word, locking eyes with him.

His gaze remained level, eyes narrowing further. This was a hell of a thing to offer. A hell of a thing to challenge him on too, given what you’d seen he was capable of. But like Karasuma had said, even if he _did_ do something there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it.

"As you said, that information is part of your work. To share it or not is entirely at your discretion." He gave a small gesture, turning his attention back to his bento.

You nodded then sighed turning back to your own lunch, "Also, it makes it _really hard_ to transcribe when there's editing notes all over the place. The post it's though...those were nice."

And just like that the tension melted away.

He chuckled, "I _thought_ you might enjoy those."

"And so was the tiramisu. Thanks for that."

His grin widened and his tone perked up, all seriousness dissolving instantly, "It’s _delicious_ , isn't it?! I believe I left a note with the shop's location for you."

You nodded, "Yeah, you did. I'm surprised though. It doesn't seem like my place was on the way."

His eyes narrowed slightly. The green rings were back, "It is when you're as fast as I am."

"Mm…" you took another bite of your lunch.

“I take it the medication has been helpful?”

“Mmhm…It’s helped out a lot.”

He chuckled, “I’m glad. This classroom is less interesting without you around.”

You _highly_ doubted that.

Later in the day, while in the nurse's office going over your lesson plan for minor edits, you had a visitor.

“Hey, Mx. Reader!”

You looked up from your work to see Kayano standing there, rocking back on her heels.

“Yes, Kayano?”

She came over to your desk, “I made you something.”

She held out her hands revealing a paper crane nestled inside.

“Oh! Thank you!” you accepted it carefully, looking it over. The paper was a brilliant green.

“I figured since you were sick maybe it can help you start to get better.” she flashed a smile, “I’ve gotta get to PE though, so I’ll see you later!”

“Have fun!” you called after her as she raced out the door.

You sat the little crane on desk with a smile, and went back to your lesson plan.

That night, in your apartment, you looked over your journal.

You hadn’t typed up your reports from Kyoto yet because of your illness but it was time to get it done. Flipping through the edited pages you came to rest on one in particular.

_Korosensei is human._

You remembered his expression at lunch, and his comment…

_"As you said, that information is part of your work. To share it or not is entirely at your discretion."_

Technically telling the government was part of your job. But, given Karasuma had been speaking with him, there was a chance they already knew so your report would be redundant anyway. Then there were the kids. You had told them you’d share information with them but would this information be beneficial?

You tapped your pen against the table, thinking.

If the kids knew he was human they might be less inclined to kill him. Good for your feelings, bad for your job.

_God dammit._

You tore out the page and balled it up.

No need to complicate things more than they already were. No need for redundancy.

You left that information out of your report.


	19. Colorful

A week or so later you woke up to the chiming of your phone. You slapped your hand out from under the futon, feeling around for the offending little monster. Locating it, you squinted at the screen.

A message…

From **🐙🎓**

[Reader, there’s a lovely little eatery I think you would enjoy! Care to join me for a trip?]

An outing beyond the school environment? With him?

Great! _Fantastic!_

You were over your cold and couldn't hide behind a facemask anymore!

"Kill me." You flipped back on your futon covering your face with a pillow.

You wanted to go but the idea also made you flustered and nervous.

Why had you thought having a crush was a fun novel thing? This was _fucking torture_.

You dragged yourself out of bed, replying to the text.

[Just woke up. What time?]

With that done you went to your closet, digging around for clothes. What the fuck would you wear to this?

Your phone pinged.

[Message me when you're ready?]

Oh good. That made shit a lot easier.

[Sure.]

You were halfway through picking out something to wear when it hit you that it wasn't a school day. You could dress more casually if you wanted. Thank goodness.

You tugged off your pajama top on the way to the shower. Ironically it was the one that read RUN AROUND NAKED across the front. You'd started collecting Engrish shirts after you'd moved to Japan. There were just so many in the little side shops and they always made you laugh. On visits back home you had the same experience with most shirts with Kanji on them. The basic mistranslations between languages used for fashion statements was just the most wholesome humor to you. Japanese brands used English to look cool and other countries did the same with Japanese.

Humans really were all the same when it came right down to it.

Well...when they weren't giant yellow octopi that could fly at Mach 20 anyway...

The shower went quick and you threw on something basic but comfortable and light. The rainy season was approaching and the humidity was already murder.

[Ready.]

[On my way!]

He arrived maybe a minute after the message did. You heard the tap on your balcony and opened the sliding door, “Why didn’t you just use the main door?”

He chuckled, “I thought this might be easier to take off from.”

“Oh, so we’re flying then.”

“But of course!”

“Alright, well, hold on...” you went back into your room, grabbing your messenger bag and making sure your journal was tucked inside. You never knew when you might need to take notes…

When you came back out you saw him beside your little table, looking over the post its you had collected, amused.

“Ready.”

You were loaded up and he took off, taking care to shut the balcony door behind him.

"You seem to have taken well to flying, Reader."

"Well, I mean, you haven't dropped me yet and given what you can do I feel like it might be a bit safer than travelling by plane."

He chuckled, looking very proud of himself. Your brain was starting to catch up with your situation. You were being held, very firmly, by tentacles inside of his robes.

This was not a good place to remember your feelings.

You turned your attention to the scenery below so you didn't have to focus on the warmth of him against your back, the rise and fall of his chest, of the scent of old books and rain that seemed to follow him.

It wasn't working.

"You're rather quiet today, Reader. Is something on your mind?"

_Fuck._

You looked up at him, "I just woke up. Brain isn't firing on all cylinders yet…"

"Clearly, we need to get you some breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day after all."

"Yeah…what sort of place are we going to anyway?"

You noticed you'd been in the air a lot longer than his usual trips and you certainly weren't near Tokyo any longer…

“I thought we could take in a little of the season!”

“Are we leaving Japan?” 

You weren’t opposed to the idea but you would appreciate some warning.

“No, no, we’re just making a quick trip to Hokkaido.” he chuckled.

“Hokkaido?”

“Yes!” he looked down at you, grin wide, “Tomita Farm to be precise!”

You just stared at him, “We’re going to a farm?”

You felt like an idiot half the time asking these echoing questions but he really didn’t explain much unless you prompted him to…

“Yes. Tomita Farm was founded in 1903 though they didn’t begin cultivation of the lavender they’re known for until 1958. Lavender demand went on the decline in the 60’s but Tomita Tadao, the farm’s owner, continued to grow it. It became a tourist sensation in the 1970's and then branched out into perfumes, soaps, and food. It's especially lovely in late June and July so I'm afraid we're a bit early for their more iconic floral views but not for the food!”

“That’s right, Hokkaido is mostly farms, isn’t it?”

“Agriculture certainly is their calling card, yes.”

You looked ahead to the island coming up. In no time you were standing in a field by a road and he quickly donned his questionable disguise.

“So, shall we?”

“Sure.” you followed after him, crossing a parking lot towards a series of buildings.

“I’m sure you’re hungry, so a stop in at the Rapport house seems like the best place to start.” 

Outside the building there was a small pavilion with advertising for soft serve and other products of the farm. You climbed the steps and entered the cozy looking shop. Instantly, the scent of baked goods made your mouth start to water.

After greeting the cashier the two of you debated what to get. The selections all looked fantastic. You’d never seen so many lavender flavored things in your life. Ice pops, cream puffs, cheesecake, custard, Ramune...But what caught your eye was a melon cream puff. He placed the order and shortly you were outside, looking across the fields while eating carefully.

“How do they get the melon to taste like that?” you looked over at him.

“Exceptional care and breeding.” he took another bite of his pastry. 

"It's delicious." You finished off your cream puff. You'd been hungrier than you thought.

He chuckled and gestured, "Reader…"

"Hm?"

He tapped his false nose. Was he having issues wi-

Oh.

You took your napkin and swiped it across your nose, removing the bit of cream you'd gotten on it.

"Did I get it?"

He gave a nod, finishing off his own cream puff, "Since were here, let's see what's in bloom."

You followed him, to another building nearby labeled simple as “Flower House”. He lead the way up to an observation deck. You leaned on the railing looking out across the fields and buildings. There were so many flowers…

You could understand what he meant about being too early for certain views though. Some of the fields hadn't bloomed yet so they were rows of unremarkable looking plants. These were interspersed with gorgeous swaths of color, fields that were in full bloom.

"These are beautiful…"

"Aren't they?" He grinned, "The natural beauty of spring out in full force."

You pulled out your phone took a photo or two. 

"Allow me." He pulled you over and snapped a couple of selfies with you.

You took your phone back, laughing, "You could have warned me!"

"But then your reaction wouldn't have been authentic!"

Unlocking the phone, you looked at the results. You looked startled.

“Okay, if _you_ get to take some, I get to take some _proper_ ones.”

After some offended sputtering on his end you managed to get a couple of selfies with him in front of the fields.

“See? Much better.”

“But mine have so much more _life_ in them!”

“You didn’t see me delete them did you?” you looked over at him, “I just like having some clear photos too.”

This seemed to appease him. The two of you made your way back past Rapport House towards one of the fields in bloom. After a few more photos (at least four more where he surprised you with bullshit) he lead you towards a building that reminded you of the half timbered houses of Germany. Very storybook and charming. Out front was another smaller garden of herbs and flowers, each with labels indicating their species.

Inside the building was spacious with vaulted ceilings and stained glass windows decorated with patterns of lavender and poppies. It housed another charming gift shop and a cafe, with a sign indicated it would reopen in the autumn season.

Upstairs was an open room with photos along the wall charting dates. A timeline of the farm’s founder, Tadao Tomita. 1980 when they first began distilling lavender oils. 1984’s release of their first perfume. 1990 when they won first prize in France’s Lavender Perfume fair…

“Mr. Tomita’s story is very moving.” Korosensei spoke softly next to you, “He wanted to grow lavender since childhood. He came into it with poor timing though. Thanks to cheaper imports and synthetic perfumes, the demand for it decreased in the early 70’s. He supplemented his income by growing rice but he never stopped growing lavender.”

You looked at the face of the smiling man plastered on the wall. It was hard to imagine so much dedication to growing one flower.

“Just when he decided to quit, however, a photograph of his fields made it into that year’s JR calendar. Tourists began to show up to see it for themselves and, thanks to some helpful suggestions from those first visitors, he began branching out from oils to potpourri and other lavender products. From there, the farm only became more profitable and more expansive.”

“That’s amazing.”

He nodded, “Chance encounters can be _life changing_.”

There was...something in his tone. An almost wistful longing. You hadn’t heard it from him before. You looked over at him. That blue tinge from the night in Kyoto was back.

“You okay?”

He seemed startled by your question, flickering back to yellow and then the peachy flesh tone he used for his disguise. He turned his attention to you, “Oh, yes! Just reminiscing. Now!” he clapped his hands together, gloves muffling the sound, “You have to try their lavender ice cream! It’s iconic for the region.”

“Lavender...ice cream?” it wasn’t the strangest flavor you’d seen in Japan but you were still wrapping your head around the fact that there were cherry blossom flavored things here.

“Yes!” He guided you back downstairs and you made your way to another, smaller stand with a cheerful cashier.

Soon, you were presented with a small cup of pale purple ice cream. He chuckled at your expression, “I promise, it’s delicious.”

Carefully, you took a spoonful. Rich, sweet Hokkaido cream and then soft lavender. You closed your eyes, savoring it.

There was the sound of a shutter snap and you looked over at him. He was giggling, camera in hand. _When the hell had he gotten a camera?_

“Hey!”

“What? I had to immortalize the moment!”

You laughed, “I think you just like taking terrible pictures of people.”

“Au contraire!” he turned the camera, showing you the photo, “I think it captures you perfectly.”

To your surprise, the photo was actually quite flattering. A field of flowers in the background, clouds drifting across a blue sky, and you standing, eyes closed and faintly smiling.

Looking over the camera at him, you realized how close he was and felt your face heat up dramatically.

“Okay, yeah it’s not that bad...” you looked back out at the field.

“That might have to go in the yearbook.”

“....maybe.”

He chuckled, snapping another photo or two of the flowers. Even in this half blossomed state, they were beautiful.

“I’ve never been to a farm like this before.”

“Hm?”

“One that sells so much of what they make at the farm itself. Especially not a flower farm.”

“It’s quite common here in Hokkaido. Farms like these become tourist destinations. There’s several where you can pick your own produce.”

“It’s nice...” you savored another bite of ice cream, then paused, tapping the empty spoon against your bottom lip in thought, “I think it’s because you know where it comes from. Knowing where what you’re eating was grown or made...it…” you tried to think of how to phrase it.

“It grounds you to the place and gives you a deeper appreciation of the effort that went into its making.” he supplied, gesturing.

“Yes. Exactly.”

The wind picked up slightly, tousseling the flowers gently. The whole place smelled like flowers and fresh earth. Like spring and rebirth.

You looked over to your companion and caught him staring at you. His skin was a bright pink. He quickly turned his attention to the field, “We should come back in July. I’ve heard the lavender is _stunning_.”

“We should.” you took another bite of your ice cream.

“It’s a date then.” he chuckled.

_Ohhhhkay._

The blush that had started to recede was back with a _vengeance_. You made yourself very, very invested in your ice cream, “Yeah, sure.”

Once your ice cream was finished, you visited the Dried Flower House, admiring the lovely displays. From there you toured the Gallery Fleur and it’s photos of the fields in full bloom. The contemplative silence of the photo gallery was broken by a chiming from his phone.

He pulled it out, sudden alarm crossing his face, “Oh dear.”

“What is it?”

“I’m afraid we’ll have to cut this trip short.” he looked at you apologetically, “I had forgotten, I have a tutoring session with Hiano today.”

“That’s okay. I mean, we’re visiting again in July anyway, right?”

His grin widened, a touch of pink coloring his cheeks, “ _Absolutely._ ”

In a few minutes you found yourself deposited on your balcony like you’d never left.

“Thank you for accompanying me, Reader.”

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“Anytime.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You opened the balcony, heading inside. That had been a lot of fun...

But what _was_ that? 

You'd enjoyed it but it was _practically_ a date.

You took a breath and reminded yourself of the three rules: keep it to yourself, don’t get your hopes up, and _say nothing_. 

It was an outing with a friend and a co-worker. It was nice. It was pleasant. It was certainly not romantic…

Tossing your messenger bag on the couch you headed to your room. You'd forgotten to put the futon away this morning. With a sigh you flopped down on it and closed your eyes.

God dammit. There was no escaping this was there?

Your shirt smelled like flowers, old books, and summer rain.


	20. Offerings and Omamori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit we've hit 20 chapters!  
> Back to more canon based content in the next one!  
> Also, somewhere along the line this fic has become a romance and an informative guide to Japan and to be honest? I think Korosensei would approve.

The next day you got another ping to your phone. An email from Korosensei...with attached photos.

_Reader,_

_Thank you again for accompanying me to Hokkaido! I wanted to swap photos with you since you took some on your phone! Here’s the collection I took._

_-Korosensei_

Apparently that one wasn’t the only one he’d gotten of you with his camera. There were probably a good like, hundred photos here. You had no idea when he had time to take them but they were of the flowers, of you, of the shops, selfies, _it was a lot._

And there were plenty of you looking ridiculous.

Forget wanting to kiss him, you were going to _fucking_ _kill_ him.

_Wait._

You wanted to do _what?_

How would that even work? He was like, all teeth an-

Nope. No. Not thinking about that. Not going _near_ that.

You set the photos to download to your laptop and got up, running your hands through your hair. You _really_ needed to clear your head a bit.

Let’s see...you had your lesson plans ready, you didn’t have anything to grade yet, the house was clean, laundry done…

Time to get the fuck outta the house for a bit.

You scooped up your bag and headed out the door. There was a place you’d had in mind to check out. Would take a little time to get there but what else were you going to do today?

A little over an hour later, you arrived at your destination. A little shopping center at the base of a mountain. Stopping in at one of the outdoor shops you bought a drink and started your hike. Thankfully on a pleasant paved path instead of the rough one at the school. There were a few people around, families, hikers, and such taking in the scenery. The place was quaint, with shops and restaurants advertising their wares through posters and displays. A rough hewn fence made from logs with the bark still attached ran alongside the street, marking off a small stream in a canal below. Buddha statues were prevalent. 

The main thoroughfare to the cable car station was pretty crowded. You should have expected as much on a weekend. It wasn’t terrible though, you kind of enjoyed it. Some teenagers were laughing and snapping photos by the entrance. It was nice being out and about. The sounds of people took your mind off of things. 

One ticket purchase later, you were waiting for your car to arrive. You didn’t have to wait long, the bright yellow and green cable car came coasting gently down the incline.

Yellow and green...

Why did _everything_ have to remind you of him?

It was at a slant which you hadn’t been expecting but it definitely made for an interesting look. Heading in, you grabbed a seat, looking out the window.

The car began to ascend the mountain track past rock walls and a short tunnel. It moved slowly and you watched as the greenery of the mountain slid by the windows. Given your day job there was something novel and positively delightful about not having to hoof it up this steep mountain. It was a little disorienting though, looking out and seeing trees growing upward at an apparent slant.

One final tunnel and the cable car pulled to a stop. Getting off, you climbed the steps with the other passengers. There it was. Well, at least one thing you’d come to see anyway. You made your way to the railing, from here you could see the lush green expanse of the mountain and Tokyo laid out below it. Pulling out your phone, you took a few photos, enjoying the view and the chatter around you. On a clear day you’d heard you could see Mount Fuji from here. Today, however, wasn’t clear enough. The view was lovely though.

You headed up the flagstone path, past a few buildings. Another view was available here, blocked off by a stone wall. This one more trees than city.

You took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of spring greenery to push thoughts of lavender out of your mind.

There were a few stalls here and there that you browsed, looking over the selections. Snacks, plushies, charms, Tengu and Oni masks...it was very touristy but nice. Next up was a monkey park. You considered checking it out for a moment but then decided against it, you’d rather get to your planned destination.

As you rounded a bend, a massive cedar tree came into view. It’s roots were coiled back from the path, almost as if avoiding it. It was encircled in a shimenawa and plaques stood nearby announcing that it was…

_God. Dammit._

Takosugi...

_The Octopus Cedar._

You sighed. Of course. 

_Of course it was._

What else could it _possibly_ be? 

Resigned to your tentacled fate, you read over the plaques nearby. The tree was apparently 450 years old. Local legend claimed that the mountain’s tengu were building a path through the mountain and had planned to uproot the tree in their efforts. The next day, the tree had politely moved it’s roots, curling them back towards itself like an octopus.

Next to the tree was a stand with a carved orb, octopus tentacles at the base of it. It was meant to be rubbed for luck. 

_Great._

You took some photos for back home and begrudgingly patted the octo-orb.

So much for getting _away_ from your feelings…

You should have gone with the monkeys.

Your annoyance stuck with you on the rest of the walk. Even a sesame dango from one of the stands couldn’t distract you from it. Of all the _goddamn_ temples you decided to pick…

You passed by a long railing of cedar slats with names on them. Dedications to the people who had donated to the temple.

Before you knew it, you were passing through the gateway to the temple precinct.

Religion wasn’t a primary focus in your life but temples like these always fascinated you and you did your best to observe the appropriate rituals while there. As such, you made your way first to the chozuya. You took up the ladle, pouring water first over your left hand, then right. You poured a bit of water into your hand and brought it briefly to your lips, rinsing your mouth. When finished, you held up the ladle so that the water could run down the handle. Purification finished, you turned your attention to the temple grounds. You were careful to stay to the side of walkways. The center of the path was for the gods, after all. You made your way up the stairs, giving a bow at the temple gate.

And there it was.

The Takaosan Yakuoin Temple. Giant tengu heads were displayed by the doors and intricate carvings decorated the support beams. The fragrance of incense reminded you of your next stop. You made your way to the incense burner, purchasing one of the provided bundles and lighting it. Waving it carefully to put it out, you tucked it’s end firmly into the ashes, letting the smoke waft around you for a moment.

No lavender, no old books, and certainly no summer rain. 

Just incense and spring growth.

Maybe you could just burn these feelings out...

That done, you reached into your bag, locating your wallet again and finding a five yen coin. You tucked the wallet away and approached the altar, gently dropping your coin into the offering box. 

Reaching out, you shook the cord, causing the bells above to jingle. With a bow and the customary greeting you’d heard the people in front of you use you brought your hands together to pray.

_Thank you for protecting this mountain._

_Please, make this feeling go away._

With one more bow and greeting, you descended the steps.

With that finished, you began to roam the temple precinct. Stopping in occasionally at the smaller shrines to pay respects.

It was nice. It gave you a sense of peace and made you feel...what was it...

His voice came to mind, _“It grounds you to the place and gives you a deeper appreciation of the effort that went into its making.”_

_Dammit._

Why was he always right?

You circled back around to the temple. There were a few last things to do before you left.

You purchased an ema. Taking the board, you wrote on it carefully:

_Please, do not let this year be the last._

Hanging it in the appropriate place, you made your way next to the booths selling omamori.

The world might be ending, you had feelings for an octopus, and you had just gotten over one hell of a summer cold. You figured you could use all the luck you could get. One for luck, one for happiness. That should do it.

You attached them to your messenger bag.

Perfect.

You made you way back to the temple gate and gave one more bow before leaving.

The mountain had a lot to offer outside of the temple. Observation decks, snack stalls, more tourist booths. You sampled a few treats and took more photos for back home. You hadn’t gotten things out of your head entirely but at least you weren’t pacing your room trying not to think about it.

On your way back to the cable car you passed again by the Takosugi.

You snapped a couple more pictures and gave the octopus statue an apologetic rub. It wasn’t at fault for your weird crush after all...

When you made it home, you took a moment to make sure the photos had downloaded. Settling in, you curled up on the couch with the television on, looking through the pictures you’d taken today.

The octopus statue came up first, being the last photo you took.

You chuckled to yourself and opened it in an editing program, adding eyes and a smile.

You shot off a text message to **🐙🎓** with the image attached.

[I think I found one of your relatives today...]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so like...I picked this location because I wanted reader to go to a temple and get an omamori and given the location where Assassination Classroom takes place this seemed like a close enough temple for them to visit. I did NOT know there was a tree called the Octopus Cedar there until I was researching the place. I lost my damn mind. Poor reader just cannot catch a break.  
> And eyyyyyyyyyyy this chapter had a line that made my beta reader cry this morning! *fingerguns*


	21. Peace and Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WITH THIS CHAPTER WE HAVE HIT 100 PAGES. \o/ The current doc is 144 pages total.

With June came the rain.

Lots and lots of rain.

_Jesus Christ there was so much rain._

You showed up to class in full rain attire. You had to pretty much. The mountain was muddy, it was pouring, and you didn’t enjoy hanging out in the humid schoolhouse while damp. It always took forever to dry. You hung up your gear and headed to the nurse’s office.

Yep, the bucket was nearly full. With a sigh you moved the one out from under the leak and replaced it, heading back to the front to dump it. A rush of air indicated a certain coworker had arrived. He stood in the genkan checking himself over. With a careful toss you flung the water outside into the flower bed. At least some good could come out of it...maybe.

“Oh dear.”

You turned, seeing Korosensei looking your direction.

“Yeah, at this rate the kids are going to be learning in a swimming pool instead of a classroom.”

“Where was that one from?”

“Nurse’s office. I haven’t even checked the rest yet.”

He shook his head, “Well, we have to make do. Allow me.”

He disappeared and you made your way to the faculty lounge, trading out one of the buckets in there as well. The air in the building felt sticky and generally gross. The fans were helping mildly but they couldn’t combat the steep spike in humidity.

You’d had to cut out early yesterday due to a minor apartment emergency.

Surprise! It had been a leak. 

_Everything was a leak._

You were worried _you_ were going to start leaking next.

Back in the nurse’s office you made sure that no new leaks had sprung up. Your desk in here, or the table that served as it, sported a surprise you’d missed when you first came in.

Perched next to Kayano’s crane was a yellow and green crane. Were they multiplying?

You picked it up and saw a note next to it.

_Mx. Reader: I made you this! But you weren’t around after class so I had to leave it for you. Hope you like it! - Hiano_

You turned the crane over in your hands. The paper was patterned with green leaves on a yellow background. With a smile you sat it back next to Kayano’s. Cute. Maybe it’d bring some luck with this god damn rain.

When you came back into the faculty lounge Karasuma and Irina had already arrived.

“Uuuugh...” Irina fanned herself with a notebook, “This is ridiculous!”

Karasuma had removed his jacket, “Complaining about it won’t do any good.”

“No, but it makes me feel better.” she huffed.

“It’s pretty miserable in here.” you took your own seat, pulling out your course plan, “Since it’s pouring I imagine you don’t plan on PE today, yeah?”

Karasuma gave a nod, “If you wanted to start the First Aid lessons I’ve no objections.”

“Excellent.”

Korosensei came in, retrieving something from his desk, “Did I hear that correctly? You’re prepared to start the First Aid courses today, Reader?”

You gave a nod, “Yeah. I figure I’ll take rainy days since PE isn’t the best option during those and once the rain clears up I’ll start holding them after school.”

“Perfect. I’ll let the children know.” he bustled back out into the hall.

“Is it just me or was his head like...bigger than usual?”

“Didn’t notice.” Karasuma said, not looking up from his work.

“Who cares? It’s gross in here.” Irina dropped her head back.

“You know, we finally _did_ get ice packs in.” you looked across at her.

“In this humidity? That just sounds _worse_.” she made a face and you laughed.

Pulling out your lesson plan, you went over it again.

Ew…

It was so humid the pages were limp.

You could not wait for the rainy season to end...

"Alright class, today Mx. Reader is going to be giving you lessons in first aid."

You gave the class a small bow. They looked about as happy about the humidity as Irina did. Korosensei moved aside, making room at the podium for you. You nodded his direction and paused...

His head was _definitely_ bigger.

Okay then, well, you had a class to teach and no time to think about that.

With a smile, you looked out at them.

“Hey everyone. So, as some of you might remember better than others we had a pretty rough incident during the Kyoto trip.”

There were some nods. The students from Nagisa’s group looked a bit awkward about being singled out.

“Thankfully, the group in question responded to the situation with quick thinking and Korosensei’s lovely paperweight.”

He made an offended noise and the kids laughed a bit.

Good start.

“But!” you held up a finger, “What would you do if you didn’t have his guidebook with you? Let’s say one of your classmates fell unconscious suddenly. What should you do?”

A few hands went up.

“Isogai?”

“Well, if it’s a medical emergency you should call 119 first.”

“Good. What next? Okuda?”

The girl perked up a bit, “Make sure they’re breathing.”

“Perfect. You’re ahead of the game.” you turned to the board, picking up a piece of chalk, “Now, what should you do before anything else?”

Silence.

“Anyone?”

You turned to the board and wrote out: SCENE SAFETY

“The first thing you should do in any emergency is make sure the location is safe. You can’t help someone if you get hurt too and you don’t want to put the injured person at any further risk.”

“Is that what you were doing when you ran up the mountain?” Karma joked from the back.

You looked at him, “That is exactly why you need to practice scene safety. Even teachers make mistakes.”

You turned back to the board and faltered, looking at Korosensei. His head was swollen far larger than it had been before.

“Korosensei, are you _alright_?”

“Hm?”

You pointed to your head.

“Oh! This. It’s the humidity. Quite frustrating actually.”

He leaned over a bucket nearby and proceeded to twist the flesh of his face, wringing it out as one would a towel.

Oh.

_Gross._

_This_ is where you had chosen to lay your affections.

“Okay then. Well,” you turned back to your lesson, ready to carry on, “When you arrive at the scene of any emergency it’s important to...” You wrote out on the board as you spoke, “Stop, Think, and then Act. So, what sort of things should you look for during an emergency?”

Hands went up. Perfect.

“Fuwa?”

“If anyone else is injured.”

“Good.” you wrote it on the board, “Mimura?”

“Well, if there’s something dangerous that the person got hurt on you should probably move it?”

“Mmmhmm...” you marked it down.

“Yoshida?”

“If it’s a road accident you need to get the person out of the road and look out for oncoming traffic.”

“Very good!” you wrote it out on the board, “There are a lot of different ways a scene can be dangerous which is why we have to Stop. Think. And then Act.”

“Now, Karma. In the situation in Kyoto, what is something you would have kept an eye out for to keep the scene safe?”

His tone was cool he joked, “Probably the guy who whacked me with a pipe.”

“Correct.” you looked back at him, some of the students seemed surprised by this. You wrote another point on the board with the others: 

_-Violent bystanders, assailants, or patients_

“Probably should have watched out for the pipe itself too.” Terasaka cracked.

“Also correct!”

He looked up at you, clearly he hadn’t fully intended to be drawn into this lesson.

You wrote up on the board:

_-Weapons_

“What else?”

Okuda raised her hand and you gave her a nod.

“Hazardous materials?”

“Excellent. Yes.” you added it to the list, “Now, what’s a hazardous material that you might not think of as hazardous at first?”

The class looked between themselves. You gave a smile and, mostly for your own amusement, turned to your coworker, “Korosensei?”

His grin widened, eyes narrowing, “I believe the answer you’re looking for is bodily fluids.”

The class looked a bit ill at hearing this. You chuckled and wrote it down, “Also correct. If you can you should always try to practice BSI. Body Substance Isolation. This is why we wear face masks and gloves if we have them, it protects us from potential illness and protects the patient from potential infection as well. Now, what are some other forms of protection medical professionals use?”

When you turned around there were more hands up this time. Good. 

You were definitely getting somewhere…

You took you seat in the faculty lounge feeling accomplished. The first lesson had gone fantastically and the children seemed genuinely interested in learning more. It had gone by fast too. Irina had stepped in for English before you’d known it and now you were taking a moment to just enjoy what you had done.

Even the weather seemed to reflect your mood. The clouds had parted and the sun was streaming in through the windows.

“Feels good doesn’t it?” Korosensei chuckled and you looked up, “That is quite possibly one of the best parts of teaching, I think. Knowing you’ve passed along knowledge and seeing the passion in your student’s faces when they learn something new.”

You smiled, to an outsider it might sound cheesy but you honestly loved it when he talked like that.

“It is nice. It’s been awhile since I did any proper teaching so I’m rusty. I’m used to working with adults but that went so much more smoothly than I expected.”

“They are exemplary, our students.” he took his seat next to you.

_Our students…_

You noticed he’d used that for awhile now. Ever since you pointed out to him that he wasn’t the only teacher. A warmth bloomed through your chest at that realization.

The damn tengu hadn’t helped _at all_.

“They really are. This whole classroom is.”

He chuckled, looking over at you pointedly, “Indeed.”

Something in his tone and the way he looked at you flustered you immediately. You smiled nervously and turned your attention to your lesson plan, “I’m just happy the students seem to be enjoying it.”

“You did excellently, Reader.” his grin widened a bit, “For someone who claims to be rusty I do believe your teaching blade is quite sharp.”

You laughed a little. At least practicing in your room had paid off you guessed.

“Thanks...Oh! I need to check on the leaks hold on.”

You headed to the nurses office, letting your face cool off as you took out the water pail. When you returned to put the spare pail back you found Irina waiting for you, leaning on the table.

English must be over then.

"Hey so the brats wouldn't stop pestering me until I made you one of these." Irina passed you a paper crane. White paper with thin gold stripes.

"Oh!” you turned it over in your hands and chuckled, “Yeah, they've really gotten into this paper crane business."

"Yeah, what's with that anyhow?"

“It’s because I handle Health Education and because of that cold I had back in May.” you looked over at her, “You’re familiar with the thousand paper cranes story yeah?”

“Kid made a thousand cranes to wish not to die right?” she leaned on a table.

“That ‘kid’ was, in fact, Sasaki Sadako.” Korosensei’s voice made you both nearly jump out of your skin.

He entered the office, looking at the paper crane in your hands, “She was born in 1943 and survived the bombing of Hiroshima. As a result, she developed leukemia. She folded one thousand and three hundred paper cranes before her death in 1955. The result was that her story and the paper crane became a symbol of peace here in Japan.”

“You know we’re not your class right?” Irina snarked.

“I’m a teacher first and foremost, Miss Irina. And what sort of teacher would I be if I didn’t take every teaching opportunity presented?”

You placed Irina’s crane with the others you now had clustered on the desk, “It's a sad story but the tradition is nice."

"It is. And thankfully these cranes aren't for anything as dire as leukemia." He came up next to you, looking over the flock.

"Well, at any rate, consider my crane quota filled so they'll stop hassling me about it." Irina pushed herself away from the table, "Good luck with Karasuma though."

You laughed at that, "I cannot imagine him doing any origami."

"Oh nonsense, I'm sure Mister Karasuma would be thrilled to help." Korosensei's grin only widened. Most likely at the prospect of pestering said coworker.

You sighed, "No one really has to help with this. The kids just sort of… started it."

"I think it's quite fitting." Korosensei looked at you, "Symbols of peace and healing. _Perfectly_ suited to you."

You faltered at the compliment and felt a blush starting to radiate through your cheeks. Irina raised an eyebrow at you.

"Thanks." You managed, "I hadn't thought about that but I guess they kind of are…"

The bell rang, "And that's my cue to mold some young minds!"

And with that Korosensei was gone.

Irina, however, was not. And the look she was giving you was unnerving. You looked around the room and then back at her, trying to sort out what she was staring at, "What?"

"What was that just now?"

"Huh?"

"With the octopus." she tilted her head a bit, “You looked like a school kid with a crush.”

Oh _fuck_ . Of course _she’d_ be the one to notice.

You shook your head, laughing a touch nervously, "I'm just not really used to compliments. It always makes me feel awkward."

She didn't seem convinced but thankfully dropped it, "Whatever. Anyway, make sure you tell the kids I made my crane or whatever."

Turning, she exited, leaving you a bundle of nerves and feelings.

God, why this?

You took a breath, trying to relax yourself.

Paper cranes…

You turned your attention to the growing flock. Six so far.

You wondered if the kids would actually make it to a thousand. To do that they would need…

Hm…

Pulling out your journal and phone you crunched a few numbers.

994 cranes.

9 and a half months left.

…

_Nine and a half months left…_


	22. Wolves

You were headed down to the train station your mind fixated still on that idea. 

_Nine and a half months…_

When you were younger that would have seemed a lifetime away.

Now it felt far, far too fast.

You paused at a vending machine to get yourself a coffee. The weather and the realization had you feeling sluggish. A pick me up would help. You stood, sipping your chilled canned coffee, under an available awning. 

Next to a tree, not far from you, a figure was standing in a comically large pink raincoat with yellow polka dots. You squinted, something looked...off-

_God dammit._

It was _him_.

He wasn’t even bothering with camouflage, you could see his little tentacle hands scribbling away in a notebook. You immediately put your hand in your messenger bag double checking to make sure your own was still safely tucked away. 

It was.

If that wasn’t enough of a confirmation, Nagisa came into view around the edge of the tree, talking to him. A few of the other kids were nearby. What were they up to?

You approached, “Hey! What’s the secret meeting about?”

Sugino looked over, “Nothing secret, we’re just heading home.”

“And Korosensei is spying on Maehara.” Nagisa shrugged.

“You’re...” you looked at Korosensei, “What?”

He chuckled, “I do like keeping thorough notes on my students. I’m _sure_ you can understand, Mx. Reader.” his eyes narrowed just slightly.

You had a distinct feeling you both took notes for _very_ different reasons.

Following the gaze of your students, you spotted Maehara sharing an umbrella with a girl you didn’t recognize.

“That’s a new face.” you said, adjusting your umbrella and taking another sip of your coffee.

“Yeah. Kaho Tsuchiya. She’s not from our class.” Okano looked over at you.

“Oh!” you were a little surprised, “So it’s a bit of a star crossed lovers situation then...”

Korosensei scribbled something in his notes, “It certainly has the potential to be!~”

As you watched, another group of students approached the pair…

Oh.

_Oh dear._

The girl immediately ran to one of the other boys, she seemed to be mildly panicked. 

Maehara’s voice suddenly came across loud and clear. He sounded confident as he rocked back on his heels, umbrella resting on his shoulder, “Ohhhh… NOW I get it. Why you don’t call me back… Why you started taking the train instead of biking to school… but your _new_ boyfriend doesn’t have much free time, so you decided to keep me hanging on, didn’t you?”

_Yikes._

There was tension between the girl and the guy she had run to. She thrust her finger at Maehara, “ _You._ You know this is all _your_ fault, right? You got moved to Class E because you _don’t work hard enough_ , Maehara!”

_Double yikes._

Her tone became haughty, “Plus Kunugigaoka High _doesn’t take_ Class E students so it was just a matter of time until we broke up. The only reason I _didn’t_ dump you already was because you were so broken up about getting shunted into class E. I was just trying to spare your _feelings_. I was hoping you’d catch on so I didn’t have to spell it out.”

Her boyfriend laughed, “Guess not, thanks to that Class E brain of yours.”

Uh, no? You started to move but Maehara’s shouting made you pause.

“You expect me to be _grateful_?! You haven’t exactly taken the high road! ”

The boy hauled back, kicking Maehara in the stomach, knocking him to the ground. You stood there for a moment, stunned. The group approached Maehara, clearly intending more violence.

“Don’t you get it? You’re a Class E loser, you’re nothing! You’re not going to our high school. So we can treat you however we-”

You didn’t even realize you’d moved until you were standing in front of the group, Maehara behind you. The students didn’t seem to know what to make of you.

“Oh, _I don’t think so_ .” you stepped forward, “Your _name_ , young man?”

The boy stammered, clearly flustered by being caught.

“That’s alright, I’m sure Maehara has a good idea of who you are.” you held out a hand, helping him up. He looked embarrassed but grateful.

“And who are you supposed to be?” the boy snarked.

“They are Mx. Reader. Class E’s Health Education teacher.” a chill ran down your spine at the voice, you turned to see Principal Asano stepping out of his car.

The other students looked terrified at his presence. You turned your attention to him with a nod, “Principal Asano.”

“I’m grateful that you were here to step in on behalf of your student, Mx. Reader.” he said cooly.

Turning his attention to the other kids he spoke, “Remember, violence only makes the day grow darker.”

The students nodded, cowed by his tone.

Asano stepped up to Maehara, pulling out a neatly folded handkerchief, “Here. Dry yourself off. I’m very glad that Mx. Reader was able to put a stop to things before they got out of hand. Otherwise, I would have had to _expel_ you.”

“Excuse me?” you turned to him, “I’m not sure how much of this you saw, Principal. This boy-”

“Was defending himself from a Class E houligan.” he gave you a smooth smile, “Now, you children have a safe walk home.”

It took everything in your power to not punch this man in the mouth. You wanted to. You wanted to do that _and_ slice his damn tires but…

You glanced back at the E Class group.

You weren’t getting fired and leaving them out in the cold with these kinds of wolves about.

“You’re lucky he showed up, Player-”

Putting your arm around Maehara, you lead him to his friends while the others threw insults at him. The others came to meet you halfway, Sugino leading the charge.

“Maehara! Are you alright?”

He looked even more embarrassed and glanced at you before speaking, “Yeah....” he sighed, “The principal sure is suave. Even when he’s acting nice he finds a way to screw you over.”

“Forget about him. The problem is that girl!” Sugino was pissed, “What a bitch! Then again...we’ve got a bitch in our class too…”

Nagisa’s soft spoken voice piped up, “But Ms. Bitch is a professional. She knows when to be bitchy and when not to be. But that girl isn’t sophisticated like that...”

“I don’t care if she’s a bitch.” Maehara said with a sigh.

“You don’t?!” Nagisa stared at him.

“Falling in love is easy. So is falling out of love. When I do… I move on.”

God you _wished_.

Okano moved to offer him a handkerchief to help dry off, “It’s your third year in junior high and you’re already into some kind of dating zen?”

You realized, for the first time, that you had dropped your umbrella… and your coffee. With a sigh, you scooped up the umbrella, shaking it off and pocketed the empty coffee can to trash later.

Maehara began to dry himself off. You stepped up, using your umbrella to keep more rain off of him. He seemed a little out of it.

“But you saw how she was just now, right? She felt guilty at first… tried to excuse her behavior… but then she went straight into attack mode! ‘Hey, come to think of it, this guy’s in Class E. I can do and say whatever I want to him.’ After that it was just a big show of venting at me with ‘how dare you’s’. She has no idea how hypocritical she is. And that’s kinda sad. And scary...”

You wanted to say people were often better than that but… well… that hadn’t been your experience.

“Is everyone like that? Would I do the same thing to someone I thought was weaker or less than me?”

The other students shifted uncomfortably.

“It’s time.”

Korosensei’s voice behind you made you jump. Turning you were faced with…

_Triple yikes._

The kids gave shouts of shock and you just stared, a little queasy. His head had swollen in the humidity and looked like some sort of grotesque balloon. 

“What?” Nagisa tipped his head at him, clearly still unnerved by his appearance.

“It’s time. For Revenge.” he gave a glance your way then corrected himself, “Okay not revenge. A lesson.”

He reached up, wringing out his head like a sponge. That was just as unsettling and gross the _second_ time around.

“The weak can’t help but be victimized. But you aren’t weak. Good assassins can eliminate a target without being seen or leaving evidence.”

You were glad he was wringing out his face suddenly because his tone was doing embarrassing things to your stomach and that balanced it out a bit.

“What are you up to, Korosensei?” Maehara gave a tired laugh.

“A little E Class Justice. Humiliation for Humiliation.” he flipped his hood back up, grin widening.

You gave him a look, “So, revenge.”

He turned, looking over at you, “Okay… you got me. It is revenge.” he turned his attention back to the children, “We’ll teach them a lesson they’ll never forget...”

“What are you planning?” you looked at him suspiciously.

“Oh, no, not me.” he chuckled, “I believe this will make for an _exceptional_ training drill for our students.”

Oh dear…

“Well, first thing’s first, I think everyone should get home. Or at least get dry.” you looked at the kids.

“Yeah...” Maehara made a face. Okano had retrieved his umbrella for him.

“That was kind of awesome, Mx. Reader.” Kayano grinned.

“You ran off so fast you just dropped everything.” Sugino chuckled, “Glad you’re in our corner and not on main campus.”

You were embarrassed, you’d acted without thinking _again_. And right after teaching them to stop and fucking think before acting, “I’m just glad Maehara’s okay.”

He gave a grin, “It’ll take a little more than that to take me down. Mr. Karasuma’s lessons have helped with that.”

Nagisa smiled, “That’s true… guess we’re at little more prepared than we used to be for that sort of thing.”

Korosensei gave a chuckle, “Of course! Now, some extra credit homework for you tonight.” his grin darkened, “I would like for you all to dream up some _spectacular_ revenge ideas. Tomorrow, we plan!”

The kids looked _thrilled_.

“I’d like to sit in on that if you’d allow, Korosensei.”

Everyone turned to look at you in surprise.

“Really?” Nagisa tipped his head, “I thought you didn’t want to hurt people.”

“I don’t believe in _killing_. I also think you need someone to make sure things don’t go too far.”

“Of course!” Korosensei chuckled, “Having the perspective of a medical professional would be exceptionally helpful, I’d say.”

“Let’s just hope you don’t need my advice as one.” you made a face.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting. You just hoped your presence would help keep things in check.

You saw the children off to the train. What an afternoon…

A hand fell on your shoulder. Korosensei’s voice came from beside you, “Reader, that was-”

“Stupid. I know.” you sighed, “I just-”

“No.”

You looked over at him. His face flickered to the purple X before he seemed to remember he was supposed to be incognito and reverted to yellow.

“What I was going to say,” he continued, tone rich and genuine, “was that that was _exceptional_.”

That gave you pause, “I ran in without thinking. I could have been fired. I-”

“You defended one of your students using your position as a teacher. While our situation at this school can be… challenging, you knew when to act and when to bide your time.” he chuckled, “An _admirable_ quality in both an assassin and an educator.”

Your heart raced and you took a breath to prevent yourself from having a melt down. Praise really wasn’t something you were good with. Coming from him? It was torture.

“Thanks...”

“I do believe...” a train rushed up to the tracks, “that’s your train.”

It was. You gave a nod, “Yeah. See you tomorrow then?”

“I look forward to it.” his grin widened.

You fled to the train and took a seat, trying to calm down. When you glanced out the window he gave a wave. You waved back and then slid down, burying your face in your hands. 

_What were you going to do about this?_


	23. (✧ω✧)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The current doc is 156 pages. God help me.

****

****

****The next day was...interesting.

You’d just set things down when Korosensei stood up, “As I recall, you wanted to join in the planning, Mx. Reader.”

“Yeah...”

“Come along then.” he chuckled, “Let’s make this day a _productive_ one.”

 _Already?_ You’d _just_ arrived.

In the classroom, the students were getting seated as you both entered. A few were surprised to see you.

Others looked positively _excited_.

Your presence meant planning.

“Good morning students!” he took up his position at the front of the class and you moved to lean against the wall by the door, “Now as some of you may know, we have a _very special_ sort of lesson today.”

The students listened eagerly.

“Yesterday, after school, our own Maehara was assaulted and humiliated by some of your upperclassmen.”

Maehara, normally a more relaxed student, tensed as all eyes were on him. You heard a few of the kids asking him if he was okay. He nodded.

“Thankfully, Mx. Reader was there to intervene and prevent any further violence.”

It was time for the kids to look at you wide eyed. You guessed that the idea of a pacifist inserting themselves in a conflict hadn’t really occurred to them as a possibility.

“Now, while I’m certainly not one to stir the pot...”

_Oh, like hell he wasn’t._

“I do believe that this particular case warrants action.”

His grin widened further, eyes practically gleaming, “Namely, _revenge_.”

The students perked right the fuck up. No amount of shitty weather was going to dampen this mood.

You were _definitely_ going to have to keep them in check.

“Some of you were aware of this yesterday and I asked you to bring in some revenge ideas.” he turned to the board, “Nagisa, why don’t we start with you?”

The boy nodded, pulling out his familiar notebook, “It needs to be public. The biggest thing that would bother them is definitely being humiliated. The problem is, we can’t afford to be seen doing it. As tempting as it would be to do it on campus there are too many cameras around so I don't think that's a good idea.”

There were a few murmurs of agreement from the other kids.

"My idea is that we target them at a distance. I was going to suggest paintballs but that might lead Principal Asano back to us since were the only class with weapons training. Water balloons filled with paint or dye might be a better solution but then we have the problem of range…"

“I think Nagisa is right about something showy. It's definitely be the thing that sets them off the most.” Maehara spoke up.

Nagisa looked over at him, "Yeah. What did you come up with?"

"Well, the rumor mill would be a great place to start but we'd need someone in a higher class to start them for us for people to believe it…" he sighed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head.

"Anything that lets me get a good punch in would be nice." Sugino said, clearly still frustrated from yesterday.

"Sugino's right. We should just deal with them the old fashioned way and rough ‘em up a bit!" Terasaka cast you a glance at this. 

Well then. Seems _someone_ wasn't a fan of your philosophy.

“We need to be practical about this. If they come to any harm it has to look like an accident so the blame doesn’t fall on us." Okano looked over at the boys.

_Oooohkay._

"Preferably we do this _without_ harming anyone."

The class turned to look at you. You had a feeling this was not a popular opinion...

"Well, we don't want to put them in the hospital or anything." Kayano chirped, "I was thinking we could get Ritsu to hack into the schools database and change their grades!"

Takebayashi pushed his glasses up, “I think that’s an excellent idea.”

"I could certainly do that if needed!" Ritsu was all smiles and sunshine. Literally. Emojis were hovering behind her.

They were even corrupting the AI, _good God_.

"But then they'd end up here with us." Okano made a face.

Kayano looked positively diabolical when she responded, " _Exactly_ . Strength in numbers _and_ they couldn't complain to the Principal."

_Was that even the same kid?_

Karma laughed from the back of the room, "Geez, and you think _I'm_ the evil one…"

"What would you do, Karma?" It was Nagisa who asked.

"Well… if public humiliation is what you're going for then go for then less is more."

"What do you mean?" Nagisa was turned in his seat now, looking at the red head.

"Well, think about it. What are some basic things that you never want to have happen in public?" Karma sat back, casually.

"Well… most people have that nightmare about being in school in their underwear." Hara spoke up.

"And Nagisa suggested paint. Something that messes up their clothes would be pretty embarrassing." Fuwa looked over at Karma.

This was becoming a regular round table discussion.

"Really, we want to ruin them." The voice was soft spoken and you were surprised by it's speaker…

"Ruin them, Kanzaki?" Kayano sounded mildly alarmed. She was looking at her friend, worried.

Clearly there was context you were missing here…

"Not permanently, of course. But isn't that what all of these ideas are about? Ruining an image they have of themselves?" Kanzaki looked around the room.

"Yeah!" Sugino agreed, "Public or not we need them to remember it and know it happened to them."

"What about slipping them something in their food or drink?" Okuda looked around the room, "I don't know how we'd do it though...or what we could give them."

"Poison?" Karma smirked.

"Now, now, children. Remember, I am your only _assassination_ target."

You'd almost forgotten Korosensei was there he'd been so quiet. When you looked his way you found that he'd been taking notes on all the children's suggestions on the board.

"These are your _humiliation_ targets. We can't kill our way out of all of life's problems after all.~"

God, he was _loving_ this. 

You _hated_ how cute it was.

"I think slipping them something is a good idea." Muramatsu looked over to Okuda, "Like Karma said, simple."

"Okay but what do we give them?" Nagisa wondered aloud, "It can't be anything that would kill them."

Yada shrugged, "Well, what do we want it to do?"

There was a long moment of silence while the class mulled it over.

When the silence was broken, it was by Terasaka.

"You know, one year a kid in our elementary class shit himself. He _never_ lived it down. Ended up changing schools and everything."

The response was overwhelming. A chorus of disgust and approval.

Well… at least it was a step down from murder and assault...

"That would definitely humiliate them. But how do we slip them something without them knowing?" Hiano made a face.

"Disguises, duh!" Kayano was excited, "They wouldn't think twice if a waiter served them something!"

"Okay but the staff of a place would notice a random person serving." Hazama drawled, "So that doesn't work."

"So, we want to do this at a restaurant then?" Isogai was taking notes now.

"You know, there was this little coffee shop Kaho took me to once or twice. Said it was a favorite of hers…" Maehara grinned.

"We have our setting and method of humiliation." Korosensei chuckled, "But I think we can push things _a bit_ further…"

Hoooo boy...

By the end of the day the plan had been meticulously crafted down to the last detail. Okuda had asked about relatively safe laxatives. At your request Ritsu checked the main campus database to make sure there was nothing in the two targets, Kaho Tsuchiya and Tomoya Seo’s, health history that could cause interactions. Korosensei had reassured you that the idea was to do this entire mission without leaving evidence. There had been discussion on what sizes of objects could be dropped on a person without too much damage. The second half of the plan relied on a group of students cutting branches into their path and the children took into consideration your concerns for the safety of their targets (begrudgingly so). 

This whole thing sounded like it could fall apart any second really. It relied a lot on timing, chance, and everything going _just so_.

For the last few periods the students set to work making disguises, preparing their gear, and crafting ammunition while Korosensei left to scout ahead for locations. You supervised Okuda on the ingredients she would need to make a quick dissolving laxative that wouldn't fall apart when being shot out of the barrel of a BB gun. 

This had _definitely not_ been in your job description.

Chiba and Hayami fired a few test rounds. It took most of the afternoon but the two of you were finally able to settle on something workable.

Korosensei was sending regular group texts to the class about the location, whereabouts of their targets, and general time table of arrival.

The final bell rang and the class divvied up into groups. It had been decided that going en masse to the location would be too obvious.

The first group to head out were the set up crew. Yada and Kurahashi as distraction, Sugino as the lookout, and Hayami and Chiba as the snipers.

Okuda was still finishing up the final batch of BBs so she opted to go with the next group. When she was ready, you escorted her down the mountain. Alongside you were Sugaya for disguises, Nagisa and Kayano for infiltration. Okano, Isogai and Maehara rounded out the group with their knife skills.

These two groups were the primary operatives. The rest of the class were backup in case the first plans failed.

You really hoped this went...well? Okay? You weren’t sure what outcome you were hoping for, really. You just wanted to make sure no one got hurt.

The coffee shop wasn't _terribly_ far from campus but it was still going to be a walk. Korosensei kept everyone updated via phone, texting your targets locations and such. 

_Targets…_

Great now you were even _thinking_ like them.

_What was this classroom doing to you?_

You probably should have been asking this question back in the classroom.

Or yesterday.

Or really anytime before this but whatever…

You were here now and you were going to follow through.

Korosensei texted again. He had confirmed that the pair were going to the coffee shop in question. How, you weren't sure and to be honest, you were a little afraid to ask. He also gave an address. The house across the street belonging to one Mr. Hikari, where you were setting up base. How that was smoothed over you had no idea.

When you had arrived at the address Korosensei had given, you'd been welcomed inside by Mr. Hikari himself."I understand your students are here for a physics project! I'm happy to assist!"

Hiano and Yada waved to you from over the man's shoulder.

You gave him a smile and a bow, "Thank you very much for accommodating us. I hope it's not too much trouble."

"No trouble at all! These young ladies make a fine cup of tea."

You nodded, "They definitely do."

The girls looked proud. You would have to compliment Irina on her communication lessons, it looked like they were certainly paying off. 

Hiano grinned, "Everyone else is just upstairs in the side bedroom."

"Good! We'll go ahead and join them, then we can get this project underway so we don't take up too much of Mr. Hikari's time."

He chuckled and stepped aside, leaving room for you and the rest of the group to head upstairs. From what you could hear, it sounded like Hiano and Yada were getting him to share stories about what the neighborhood used to be like.

The bedroom door was ajar and you heard rustling from inside. Sliding it open revealed the set up team already ready to go. Sugaya quickly spirited away Nagisa and Kayano. It was disguise time for them.

“Oh good, you’ve arrived!” Korosensei chuckled, “Okuda, do you have the bullets?”

“Sure do. I made them as fast as I could. It wasn’t easy shaping them into bbs though...”

You gave a nod, “That part was a pain.”

“Oh?~” Korosensei turned to you.

Green stripes. _Great._

“So, you were helping with making the ammunition?~”

“Well, yes, it helps prevent our students from _overdosing_ someone.”

His eyes narrowed and his grin sharpened.

“Don’t look so cocky, I’m just doing what you suggested. Applying my skills outside of their normal use I think is how you put it?”

He chuckled, “I’m glad you took my advice to heart.”

Something in the way he said that made your whole chest seize.

God _fuck this crush_. You had things you _needed to_ _focus on_ god dammit.

Maybe it wasn’t the crush. Maybe it was a heart attack.

That’d be preferable.

Chiba and Hayami took up position in the window, setting up their rifles.

Ah, yes. _Perfectly normal physics lesson_.

Nothing odd to see here.

You sighed, “So, what’s next?”

“Sugaya? Is everything ready?” Korosensei looked to the other room.

“Yeah, they’re headed down to the back door. Should be ready to go.” he took a seat at the window.

“Sugino, if you would, please?”

Sugino grinned and gave a nod, tapping something into his phone. You and Okuda joined him by the window, watching.

Across the street the targets were sitting at the coffee shop outside. A pair of elderly people approached the shop and made their way to one of the other tables.

You watched as a few people entered and left. You hadn’t actually seen the disguises that Sugaya had worked on, you’d been too busy working on the ammunition with Okuda.

“... Where are they?”

Sugaya grinned, “You didn’t recognize them?”

“No?”

“The old couple.” 

You leaned forward, squinting, “No way...”

Sugino passed you his binoculars and you got a better look. You could have _easily_ passed them on the street and never known they were your students.

Sugaya chuckled at your stunned silence, “You can do a lot with make-up and Halloween prosthetics!”

You watched as the elderly woman who you assumed was Kayano got up and headed inside the shop. You passed the binoculars back to Sugino.

“You are all so _outstandingly_ talented...”

There was no time for the students to really react to you, as there was a bit of commotion across the street. One of your infiltrators had caused a stir. Your targets jumped up in concern and the familiar sound of bb guns went off next to you.

“Bull’s eye!” Chiba chuckled.

“A million times easier than trying to hit a target moving at Mach twenty.” Hayami smirked.

You could see the coffee cups from here but you couldn’t imagine shooting a bb into one from this distance...

There was still a lot of noise at the coffee shop. You watched as the kids yelled at the remaining infiltrator who you assumed to be Nagisa. They went back to their coffee, clearly put out.

You heard a chuckle from behind you along with the sound of grinding ceramic. When you turned to look Korosensei was there, munching happily away at a mug, "Now we'll just let the others down below take care of the rest..."

“Where did you even _get_ that?”

“Hm?”

You pointed to the mug and he chuckled, “I always bring snacks.”

“That’s not… nevermind...” you shook your head, looking back across the street.

Shockingly, Kaho and her companion doubled over almost simultaneously.

Jesus, how much magnesium had Okuda put in? Did she adjust the dose when you weren’t looking?

"Well… I guess it's working..."

"The bullet is made of magnesium which is a lot more effective on the digestive tract than any over-the-counter medication. It's basically a super strong laxative. I call it _'Victoria Falls'_." you were willing to bet that Okuda had never sounded more terrifying in her entire life.

The targets leapt to their feet, running into the coffee shop frantically. After a minute or so they made a panicked exit, making demands of one of the waiters outside. He seemed to give them some directions and the pair took off down the street.

"It's in Team Two's hands now." Korosensei chuckled, "Let's go check in with them, _shall we_?"

Sugino gave a nod and the group had swiftly packed things up in preparation to go. Your coworker donned his terrible disguise and you all thanked Mr. Hikari for his hospitality and help with your little 'physics project'.

He said you were all welcome back, anytime.

_If only he knew what his house had been used for..._

Sugino's phone pinged and he chuckled, "Isogai says things went off without a hitch."

There was a second ping and he looked to you specifically, "And _no one_ was hurt."

You let out a sigh of relief. _Good._

Kayano met you outside, grinning, “Wasn’t that awesome?!”

“You did an excellent job, Kayano!” Korosensei gave a chuckle and patted her head lightly, “Taking up the bathroom was a fiendish idea.”

The girl was beaming with pride.

The octopus lead the way as you went to meet up with the second team. Rain pattered on umbrellas and the kids were in good spirits. Maehara, Isogai, and Okano greeted the three of you. They had just finished clearing away some branches they'd cut from a neighbor's tree.

"You should have seen them." Okano grinned, "They went down and got covered in rain and caterpillars."

It was smiles all around.

And it was infectious.

You couldn’t help but smile too.

"So..." Korosensei's attention went to Maehara, "Feel a little better now? Running to the bathroom, drenched, dirty, and desperate _is_ pretty humiliating."

Maehara flipped back his hood, running a hand through his hair, "Um… I don't know what to say, but thanks for making a big deal out of this."

"How do you _feel_ now, Maehara? Do you still think you're the kind of person who would look down on people who seem weaker than you?" Korosensei leaned in, looking at the boy.

"No… not after what I just saw. You guys don't look all that strong, but each of you has a trusty hidden weapon. Something that makes you special, unique that I might not have."

"Exactly!" Korosensei gave the boy a pat on the shoulder, "Strength or weakness isn't about appearances. You've learned that in Class E through your assassination training. So, you'll never be someone who looks down upon those who appear weaker than you-or picks on them."

Maehara nodded, smiling, "Yeah. I won't, Korosensei. I promise."

His phone buzzed and he perked up, checking it, "Oh! I forgot… I have a date with a girl from another school! Thanks everyone! Catch you later!"

He turned, running off down the street.

" _Of course_ he does." Okano sighed.

"That's Maehara for you." Sugino chuckled, "But at least he bounced back well..."

"Indeed. And I think that was an excellent team building exercise, don't you agree? You were able to see the fruits of your efforts. All the results of your training _in action_! Quite thrilling, wouldn’t you agree, Reader?" Korosensei's voice was filled with pride.

The kids were all looking over at you for a response.

_Way to put me on the spot, octopus…_

“I admit… that went _perfectly_. You kids really did an amazing job. All of you.”

There was laughter and happy chatter around the group. They began to discuss possibly meeting up for a small celebratory meal or something similar. You probably should get hom-

Your thoughts were interrupted by a tentacle settling on your shoulder. You looked up from under your umbrella at him.

“Reader, _thank you_ for trusting our students.”

Your heart raced.

_Fuck._

Why did this keep happening?

Maybe you really should get to the ER.

Heart attacks were nothing to mess around with.

“I just wanted to make sure no one got hurt and that they considered the consequences of their actions...”

“And you did but you still encouraged their strengths.” his tone was soft, as though he didn’t want the students to overhear, “Look at them. A little trust and appreciation and they’re blooming beautifully.”

You smiled, watching the kids laughing and talking. They were really coming out of their shells. The rest of the class had joined now, having watched at safe distances.

“We should let them have their celebration.” you said softly, “I don’t think they’ll want a pair of adults hanging arou-”

“Mx. Reader!” It was Kayano, running over to you. You felt Korosensei’s hand jolt off of your shoulder like you’d been a hot metal pan. He stood to one side, looking slightly away and coughing.

Okay then. You gave Kayano a smile, “Hey!”

“So, I didn’t want them to get ruined in the rain but Okuda had a spare folder in her bag...” she presented you with a clear file. You made sure it was safely under the lip of your umbrella before opening it…

“When did you have time to fold these?” you laughed. The folder contained several multicolored paper cranes, already on a string. At least five but there seemed to be more in the pocket.

“When I was taking up the bathroom in the coffee shop.” she grinned, “I had to do something to pass the time until they left.”

You chuckled, “Thank you. I’ll have to add them to the collection.”

She nodded, heading back to the group, “See ya later!”

You gave a small wave with the folder and carefully tucked it away. Turning, you saw that Korosensei had vanished.

That… actually made you feel a little disappointed.

_Fuck._

_Why did you even have feelings?_

On the train home, you shot him a text.

[You vanished. Did the kids get you already?]

The reply was almost instant.

[No, no! It was the humidity. Popped over to somewhere a little less steamy.]

You shook your head with a smile.

[Must be nice. A heads up next time maybe?]

[Of course. Apologies.]

With a sigh, you looked out the window, watching the world race by outside. What a day. Was the rest of the year going to be like this? It seemed like after that first month or so nothing was slowing down for a second…

You jumped in surprise as your phone buzzed in your hand.

[ m(. .)m ]

You had to stifle a laugh at his dogeza emote. You shot an emote back at him.

[ |･ω･)ﾉ It’s okay.] 

You tried not to think about how adorable it was that he was using emo-

Your phone buzzed again.

[So, what would you say to lunch tomorrow?]

Well you were going to say yes, of course. You always enjoyed lunch with him. But…

[Only if I’m buying.]

The reply was immediate.

[It’s a deal! (✧ω✧) ]

You couldn’t contain your laughter this time and clapped a hand over your mouth, ducking your head in embarrassment as the other passengers looked at you.

God dammit.

_Why was he so cute?_

The next morning when you entered the Faculty Lounge you were faced with… _The Look_.

_Oh boy..._

“The octopus, I can understand but you seem more level headed than this, Mx. Reader." Karasuma's tone was harsh. He had one of Sugaya’s disguises in hand. 

Well, looks like the cat was out of the bag.

"You didn't see what I saw, Karasuma."

" _Clearly_.” he sighed, “Look, we don't want to jeopardize our place here. There's too much at stake."

"And no one's place was jeopardized. The students apparently didn't even report it because they were so embarrassed."

“How do you know _that_?”

Korosensei zipped into the room in a whirl of wind. Thank god you hadn’t put your things down yet, “I took the liberty of having Ritsu check into the school’s database this morning.”

You gave Karasuma a winning smile. Korosensei had texted you about it on your way in.

He looked between the two of you, growing irritation in his face.

“See? _Our students_ know how to conduct themselves on a mission.” Korosensei’s voice was smug as hell. Glancing back you saw the green stripes.

To be honest, you felt like you had some yourself this morning.

“Be sure to keep it that way.” Karasuma said, getting up, “This whole operation is important.”

“Nurufufufu~” he leaned out of the way as Karasuma exited, eyes narrowing, “But remember, you only have until March so you better hurry.”

You chuckled alongside him.

When did death threats and things like that start becoming _fun_?


	24. 983

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a touch short but hopefully it makes up for it in cuteness.  
> 

When lunch rolled around that day a lot of your smugness had worn off. Outside was overcast, dark clouds rolling overhead. Your eyes were trained on the sky, your chin resting on your hand. Rain was on the horizon…

“Ahem...”

The sound brought you down from the clouds. Korosensei was standing next to your desk.

“Hm?” you looked up at him.

He chuckled, “It’s lunch break, Reader.”

“Oh! Sorry, I-”

You faltered as a tentacle placed a bento in front of you.

“Hey! _I_ was supposed to be buying today.”

“And you are. _You’re_ buying the drinks.” he chuckled.

You raised a brow, “That’s not what I planned and you know it.”

He grinned wider, green stripes decorating his face.

Reaching into your bag, you pulled out your wallet, “You mind picking up the drinks? We’ll miss lunch if I do it.”

He laughed, “Of course.~”

You tossed it to him.

“But!” he held up a finger, waving it at you, “No peeking while I’m gone! I want to see your reaction.”

“Ohhhkay?”

He rocketed off.

Now you were curious. What sort of bento does an octopus make? If you knew him it would probably be themed around himself. It seemed like every design he made was either that or octopi…

You pulled out your journal, making another note:

  * _Perhaps a bit narcissistic._



There was a boom and he was back, you slammed the book shut. He placed a drink in front of you, laying your wallet on your desk. Taking his seat, he pulled out his own bento, amused.

“Okay, so… now?”

“Wait, let me get ready!” he whipped out his phone, pointing it at you.

He was going to _record_ this?

“Oh my god, _really_?”

“Yes! Go on!”

The bento lid lifted off cleanly and you found yourself looking at…

You laughed, “I hope you don’t intend for me to add these to the collection.”

“Of course not! These are for consumption only.” 

Nesting above a bed of rice were a pair of cranes, folded from what you assumed was wonton wrappers and fried. Vegetables in the shapes of flowers decorated the rice field below along with a liberal sprinkling of furikake. A slice of grilled fish rounded out the savory portion. Separated from the rest was a selection of strawberries garnished with another crane, this one made from chocolate.

“This is amazing...” you picked up one of the delicate birds, “I didn’t even know you could do this with these...”

He’d gone silent. You looked over to see him, staring at you. He’d gone pink. You didn’t blame him.

“Sleepy?” you chuckled, “It’s that kind of day, isn’t it?”

“Nue?” your question seemed to bring him back to himself, “What do you mean?”

“Pink.”

“Oh. Oh! Yes, it is a bit of a tiring day...” he flickered back to yellow, glancing out the window and rubbing the back of his neck with a tendril.

“Itadakimasu.” you took a bite of the crane. It was, as you expected, a wonton.

“Good?”

You nodded, “Thank you. I still owe you though.”

He chuckled, opening his own bento, “I’m certain you will exact your revenge in the future.”

With a sigh, you shook your head, “I’m going to have to surprise you at this rate.”

“Good luck.~” he giggled, green stripes back in place.

You took another bite of lunch, rolling your eyes. He was a cocky bastard but damn if he wasn’t a good cook.

When lunch was finished, the clouds broke, rain pouring down in sheets. You ran to the nurse’s office, making sure you had a bucket under the leak.

Just in time, thank goodness…

“Hey, Mx. Reader!”

You looked to the door. Four kids were clustered there. Not exactly a group you would have expected either.

Nakamura lead the bunch, followed close behind by Okajima, Takebayashi, and Hara.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, things are fine. We just wanted to bring you something!”

Nakamura held out her hands.

Four more cranes.

You accepted them gently, looking them over.

“Let me guess… Kayano suggested it.”

“Well, it’s sort of a class project now.” Hara shrugged.

You chuckled, “They’re lovely. Now let me see...”

You held up a blue one with bright gold stars, “Nakamura?”

She nodded.

“Okay, this one is too easy. Takabayashi.”

“How did you know?”

“It’s Hatsune Miku blue. I’ve seen your folders.”

He cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses.

You looked between the last two birds.

“The jelly rolls are Hara. The cameras are... you Okajima?”

“Damn, we figured you’d at least get Takabayashi’s wrong.” Okajima laughed.

“Well, you do decorate them to your interests. If they were all simple colors it would be more difficult…” you placed the new cranes with the rest.

“How many is that so far?” Takabayashi and the others joined you.

“Ten -No, wait.” 

Pulling Kayano's out of the clear file in your bag, you rearranged the flock to take up a bit less space. Her small strand hung from the top of one of your stacks of books.

“Seventeen.” you nodded.

“983 to go then.” Takabayashi gave a nod, “I think we can do that.”

Nakamura smirked, “We can totally do that.”

The bell rang.

“Well, I hope so.” you chuckled, “Now, go ahead. Don’t leave Ms. Irina waiting.”

“Yeah, I’d rather not get frenched for being tardy.” Hara made a face.

They left before you could question it.

What?

_What the hell was going on in that English class?_


	25. Booby Trapped

His face was black, tentacles pinning you against the wall. He looked rabid, out of control. Teeth gnashed in your face as you pushed back with an arm, keeping him at bay. Reaching with your free hand you just barely managed to grasp the handle.

In one smooth motion, you brought up the blade, thrusting it into his chest.

He coughed, blood spilling from his lips. His teeth coated in it, he coughed again and it ran down your arm against his neck...

His face paled to yellow and reason seemed to come back to him. His eyes went to the blade in his chest and back to your face.

Oh god.

Oh god what had you…

He started to sink to the ground, unable to keep himself standing.

Nononononono-

"Korosensei!"

He stumbled and you fell to the ground with him, holding him.

"Reader."

From where the blade made contact he was dissolving, sinking inward, his chest caving in.

Yours might as well have been too.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to I-"

It was dark. You blinked a few times and pushed yourself upright. Your quilt slid down your shoulders.

What a fucking nightmare…

But it _was_ just a nightmare… you were okay. Things were fine. 

Korosensei was fine.

He _had_ to be.

_Go back to sleep, Reader._

The second you closed your eyes the image of him laying there with his chest sunken in, blood on his lips came to mind.

You tried to push the thought from your mind, focusing on your lesson plans, movies, books, anything…

The second you started to drift off the image came right back.

Nope.

Not dealing with _this_ nonsense.

You got up, picking up your phone and made your way to the kitchen.

You needed something to ground you back in reality for a bit before you could go back to sleep.

One package of cookies and a cup of tea later and you were beginning to feel a bit better.

Pulling up your messages you looked at the last one.

[It’s a deal! (✧ω✧) ]

This was stupid but…

[Hey. All good over there?]

You weren't even sure where 'over there' was.

Where… _did_ he go at night anyway?

No response.

Probably sleeping. 

You _hoped_ he was sleeping…

He _had_ to be sleeping.

Right…?

Your phone buzzed and you nearly jumped out of your skin.

[Reader? Yes. Everything is fine. Are you?]

Oh _fuck._

[Sorry if I woke you. Just had a bad feeling…]

Oh my god, _that sounded so stupid_.

[Not to worry. All is well.]

[Hey, I'm sure you need to get back to sleep, but I was curious, do you have like a house or something?]

[Of course I do!]

[Where?]

[Oh… here and there, you know. ♪～(´ε｀ )]

Of course he wasn't going to _tell_ you that. But hey at least it was more than what you had known.

[I get it. Top secret. ಠ_ಠ]

[Were you worried about me being out in the cold like a stray cat? /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\\]

You didn't even need to see him. You could just _feel_ the green stripes from here.

[No.]

[Lying isn't a very good example to set for our students, Reader.~]

[I don’t see them here.]

[So you were lying then! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧]

Suddenly the thought of sticking a knife in him didn't seem so bad after all.

[You made sure I got better when I was sick. I wouldn't feel great knowing you were homeless. (˘･_･˘)]

You polished off your mug of tea.

[I appreciate the concern. Now, get yourself back to bed. We have a long day of teaching tomorrow! ( T_T)＼(^-^ )]

[Alright. Sleep well.]

[I will. Try not to stay up too late thinking about me!]

You buried your face in your hands. You knew he was kidding. 

You could just picture his stupid striped face.

You only had one response.

[(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻]

You put your mug in the sink and went back to bed.

You woke up to the sound of your alarm cheerfully going off. 

_Ew._

You slapped your hand out, locating the phone and pulling it under the blankets.

Time to get up…

You closed the alarm and saw last night's conversation.

Oh… you'd… almost _blissfully_ forgotten about that.

Christ.

You got up, dragging yourself to the shower.

Time to get ready and hopefully really wake up.

When you got to the nurse's office that day you found a cup of coffee waiting for you alongside a small fleet of ten cranes which were arranged on your desk in neat rows. They were all crisp, precise and looked damn near machine folded.

They all had _octopi_ designs on them.

Well, you knew who had made these.

You would need to find a more permanent place for all of these soon.They were beginning to encroach on your workspace…

What had Takabayashi said? 983?

You took out a post it, sticking it to the table surface and wrote out.

_Total: 27_

_Left: 973_

That’s when you noticed a note tucked just under the edge of the coffee cup.

_I thought you might need this after last night's chat. Didn't seem like you'd slept very well._

  * __Korosensei__



You opened your journal, flipping through recent notes.

  * __Swells in humidity__


  * _Frighteningly good at revenge._


  * _Distant at times. Seems distracted? Unsure of trigger for this yet. Compare notes with students and other teachers._


  * _Perhaps a bit narcissistic._



You looked at the cup of coffee on your desk and added another pair of notes:

  * _Considerate to a fault_.



  * __HAS A HOUSE???? Where???? Who rents to an octopus??? How did his disguise pass? Did he have a good enough credit score to afford a mortgage? Did he-__



"Oh good, you arrived. The rest of your night went better for you, I trust?"

You practically slammed your journal shut, your pen skittering across the table and onto the floor. Did you need to put a bell on him? _Jesus._

Spinning around you found that he was much closer than you'd expected. You looked up, flustered and not able to find the words to reply.

He chuckled, "What's the matter, Reader? Cat got your tongue?"

You sighed, "No, you just startled me."

"My apologies." He walked around to the front of the desk, taking in the little collection of cranes. A tendril offered you your fallen pen, "Not to pry but are you alright, Reader?"

You'd just taken a sip of the coffee. Thank God for some caffeine. You were so distracted you barely noticed that you’d burned your tongue.

You accepted the pen.

"I'm okay. Why?"

"Well, late night texts from one's coworkers aren’t _generally_ expected."

He pulled over one of the rolling chairs in the room, taking a seat. You sat across from him.

"Look, I just had a weird nightmare and woke up worried about you. So I just wanted to touch base so I could get back to sleep…"

"Worried about _me_?" His cheeks reddened and his tone was startled. You were expecting cockiness so this surprised you.

"Yeah, it was dumb. I mean you're basically unkillable, why should I be worried, right...?" You took another sip of the coffee trying to ignore how cute he was. 

God bless this cup for providing you cover.

"I appreciate your concern, Reader." His expression softened a bit and his blush seemed to spread to his body, coloring him pink.

"You're welcome I guess?" You practically mumbled it, you could barely look at him. It was too _fucking_ adorable.

"You did manage to rest though?"

"Eventually. Wasn't super great though."

“Better luck tonight I hope.” he chuckled, “Well, it’s time for me to get ready for class.”

You nodded.

“And let me know if you need anything.” his grin widened.

“Thanks… and uh… I appreciate the coffee… and the conversation last night… ”

“Any time.”

You were going to _combust_. Could your emotions just… not? For awhile?

With a sigh, you made your way into the faculty lounge to get started on the day’s work. First thing on the agenda was a quiz for the First Aid class. The kids had been grasping the material pretty well and you’d worked out scheduling to allow for classes on Wednesdays so that you no longer had to conflict with Karasuma’s PE schedule.

The day was relatively quiet. It was spent working away at your desk. Quizzes were finished, papers graded, and you were feeling at least a bit more functional by the time last period rolled around.

“You know, I do believe we have an excellent little teaching unit here.” Korosensei was chipper as he took his seat beside you, “Karasuma with his expert military training, your medical background, Irina’s seduction and language skills, and of course my own talents.”

“It has been pretty effective so far. I hope I don’t have to see them apply what I’ve been teaching.”

Karasuma looked up, “I think Irina’s becoming the most popular.”

“It probably has something to do with her engaging, hands on style.” Korosensei chuckled.

“... Were the kids kidding about her french kissing people in class?” you looked over to him. 

“No, they were quite truthful in that regard.” he chuckled, “Ah, _to be young again_.”

“How do the kids feel about that?”

“They don’t seem to mind very much.” Karasuma seemed pretty divorced from the topic altogether.

You made a face, “I might address that with her later.”

“By all means if you feel it’s best.”

It fell back into a comfortable silence. So much so that you were starting to nod off.

Then Irina stormed into the room. 

So much for peace and quiet.

She collapsed into the chair across from you, “Aaaaaagh! Teaching is such a pain in the _ass_!”

“At least the students are finally taking a shine to you. You seem to be a popular teacher these days.”

You had an idea of why...

“Am I supposed to be proud of that? Come on, I’m an assassin. I’m supposed to be killing people, not hunting octopus with brats. And while we’re on the subject of tentacled pervs _the son of a bitch is staring at my tits_!”

You looked over to see that Korosensei was, indeed, staring at her tits… while drinking tea… and sitting on the desk for a better view. 

You couldn’t even say it surprised you.

She stood up, slamming her hands on the desk, “Sipping tea doesn’t make it classy!”

“Have I mentioned how much I admire your ‘perky’ teaching methods?” he chuckled.

You rolled your eyes. Literally how had the government not killed him with a booby trapped lingerie catalogue?

… Booby trapped.

_Goddammit._

“Oh shut up!” she reached across the table, slashing at him with one of the knives. He easily dodged, giggling all the while.

Karasuma stood up, putting a hand out in front of her, “Stand down. You know he’s just pushing your buttons. That’s the kind of target he is.”

“Yeah, well…” she threw the knife haphazardly at your ever grinning coworker before storming out the door, “ _I’ll push his buttons!_ ”

“Hm. She’s feisty today… “

You looked up at him and shook your head. He seemed to take notice and…

Did he look embarrassed? There was definitely a blush in his cheeks.

“Huh. Can’t _imagine_ why that might be...” Karasuma snarked, heading back to his desk.

Korosensei quickly returned to his own seat looking… almost apologetic.

Definitely weird.

Not long after he announced he was heading out for almond jelly and disappeared out the window.

Well, at least that settling things down a bit. You should be able to pack up in peace.

You were beginning to pack up your things when Irina shouted from the other room. Not more venting about the kids but a legitimate shout of fear. You were out the door immediately, Karasuma following quickly behind. In the hall Irina was dangling from the ceiling, choking with a noose around her neck.

Good god.

What _the fuck_ was happening in this school?

Bolting to her, you grabbed her legs and lifted, taking on some of her weight. She coughed and struggled with the snare but at least she seemed to be breathing easier. You wished you could say this was the first time you’d ever had to do this...

It was then that you noticed the voice and the figure they belonged to. The language was foreign to you. Irina responded in alarm… in the same language.

Scene safety goddammit. At least you knew you had backup...

“What’s going on here? This is your only warning, pal. Let her go.” Karasuma commanded.

The man spoke again, dismissively before cutting the rope. Irina dropped onto you like a sack of bricks and you both toppled to the floor.

Karasuma addressed the man again, this time in English, “Who are you? Speak a language I can understand!”

“No problem. I am a polyglot, after all.” this time, the response was in perfect Japanese.

“Have we met each other somewhere, or is it just me?” Karasuma narrowed his eyes, trying to suss out the man’s motives.

“We haven’t met in person. But you know my reputation. I’m the one who recommended Irina to your country’s government. Does that serve as a proper introduction…?”

Sitting up, you rubbed at your shoulders. God you were going to feel that tomorrow. You looked to Irina, immediately going into assessment mode.

“Hey, Irina, do you know where you are?” 

She didn’t look very happy for the assistance and waved you away, “I’m at the school. Relax, it wasn’t going to kill me anyway.” 

She was lucky but you didn’t tell her that. There were so many ways she could have died from that snare… You kept an eye on her, looking for any sign of issue.

Her eyes were trained on the stranger. Clearly, he wasn’t a stranger to her.

You didn’t want to leave her unchecked but you had a feeling if you tried to interfere now, something worse might happen.

“By the way, where is that Korosensei fellow?” the newcomer asked.

Karasuma stood, watching him carefully, “I think he’s in Shanghai picking up some almond jelly. He left around half an hour ago, so he should be back soon.”

“So rumors of his speed haven’t been exaggerated.” opening his arms, he chuckled, “I’m glad I came when I did. Now I have my answer.”

He turned his attention to the blonde on the floor next to you, “You run along home, Irina. I’ll take it from here. This is not the job for you.”

“You _recommended_ her.” you’d never heard Karasuma quite so offended. Especially not on Irina’s behalf.

You got to your feet, offering Irina a hand. She ignored it, rising on her own.

“Too many variables have changed. This job doesn’t suit her talents anymore. On undercover jobs she’s the best but once her cover’s been blown she’s a mediocre assassin at best.” he turned to her, “You should have left after your first attempt failed instead of sticking around to play school teacher.”

“You have to give me a chance, sir! I have what it takes!” Irina’s voice was… begging almost. Genuinely so. You’d never heard that from her before.

She’d barely gotten her last sentence out when he set upon her, twisting her arm behind her back, a thumb pressed to her jugular.

What was with this man and throats?

Well, he apparently taught assassins so you really shouldn’t have to ask that question.

“What have I always taught you? Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. A good assassin knows when to go home. I have other jobs better suited to your skill set. You shouldn't waste your time and resources here. Learn to accept defeat.”

There was a rush of wind and Korosensei was suddenly there, prying the two apart. His face was split in even colors. Purple and red.

“Congratulations! You’re exactly half wrong and half right.”

“What’s your point, Quiz Show?” Karasuma was as put out as ever.

“Another ridiculous nickname? Just call me ‘Korosensei’ already!” he looked to the newcomer, “I agree. As an assassin, our beloved Irina is nothing special. Frankly, she’s crap.”

Irina protested. 

“Having said that, she _belongs_ here. She is, _in fact_ , a perfect fit for this class. To prove my point, I propose a kill-off. Let us see which of you passes muster! _Who is the better assassin?_ ”

The combination of poor sleep and all of this was giving you one hell of a headache.

“The rules are simple. Whoever kills Mr. Karasuma first wins!”

Make that a _migraine_.

“Excuse me? Why am I the target here all of a sudden?”

“Because,” Korosensei turned to him, smile widening, “you will be a fair and challenging target, Mr. Karasuma. After all, if I were the target I might help Ms. Jelavich. Conflict of interest on my part. And besides...” green stripes circled his head, “ _No one_ can kill me anyway.”

He produced a pair of standard issue rubber knives from...somewhere on his person.

How many pockets could those robes possibly have?

“You’ll be using these. Harmless to humans of course. You have all day tomorrow. One of you simply has to strike him with a knife. No sabotaging each other’s attempts. Plus… you’ll incur a penalty if you interfere with the student’s classes.”

“I see. In other words it’s a mock assassination.” the man held up his knife, looking it over, “Very well. Sounds like a fun way to kill some time.”

Karasuma walked off, clearly irritated, “Suit yourselves.”

Irina’s trainer watched Karasuma leave, “He’s a powerful man, isn’t he?”

“Of course. After all, he was selected to keep an eye on me.” Korosensei’s eyes narrowed.

The assassin turned to Irina, “You’ll never be able to strike him with that knife. Irina, I taught you everything you know about assassination. I know what you can and can’t do. I know everything about you. I will rub your nose in the truth with this challenge. You _will_ resign from this assignment. And, once you’re gone, I’ll send in another assassin better suited to the challenge Korosensei presents.”

He turned and left the building. You watched him go.

_Christ._

_Was anyone who came here not intense??_

But, of course, things hadn’t calmed down in the slightest.

“Is this your idea of sticking up for me?” Irina sounded pissed. When you looked, you found she was addressing Korosensei.

“Nue?” he looked at her in surprise.

“I know what this is: you’re hedging your bets on me because you think I’ll be easier to manage than the next assassin my master sends along!”

Her _what now_?

She turned, storming off, “Well I won’t give you the satisfaction! If you don’t think I have what it takes to kill Karasuma _and_ you, somebody’s in for a rude awakening!”

She uh… she seemed fine. 

You _really_ did not want to go after her in that state.

“Hm...” Korosensei watched as she left, fingers to his chin thoughtfully.

You both stood in the empty hall taking in what had just happened.

“Hey… so uh…” you turned to him, “ _Who the fuck was that?_ ”

“That would be Lovro Brovski, former assassin, now assassin trainer and dealer. Think of him as Ms. Jelavich’s agent.”

“Uh huh… ” you winced, rolling a shoulder, “Well, could we ask him to maybe _not_ hang the faculty?”

“That’s just a touch out of our jurisdiction, I’m afraid. Lovro is a free agent. Though I doubt he’ll try that again.” he looked at you, “Were you injured?”

“Was trying to keep Irina from strangling to death. Bastard set up a noose. When he cut it she fell on me. She’s not that heavy but having a person dropped on your shoulders does _not_ feel great.” you made a face, “I didn’t get to give her a proper assessment for injuries either… ”

“I am more than certain that Ms. Irina can handle herself.” a tentacled hand came to rest on your shoulder, “Allow me to assist?”

“Assist?”

“Your shoulder.”

“How?”

“I’d be more than happy to check for any alignment issues.”

“ _I_ can do that.”

“I would appreciate it if you’d let me. I could use the practice.”

_Practice?_

“Not trying to take my job are you?” you joked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, no! Simply trying to widen my own skill set.” he looked at you intently.

“Fine, but let’s take this to the nurse’s office.” you were too tired to argue.

“Of course.”

You tossed your bag in one of the chairs and stood awkwardly by the cot in the corner. He approached you.

“I’m going to check for any deformations, is that alright?”

Great. Tentacles in your shirt.

This was fine.

_It’s fine._

“Yeah.”

A tendril or two snaked into both the sleeve and neck of your shirt. Gliding along you skin they probed at the muscles and joints. Definitely sore but not a sharp pain. More like a dull bruise.

You focused on that so you didn’t have to focus on how nice his tentacles felt against your skin.

“No deformation, no swelling.” he looked at you face, “Pain though, I take it.”

“Some. Doesn’t feel like a tear though.”

He guided your arm through the motions, asking about pain each time.

“I think we’re just looking at bruising.” you winced a bit as he moved your arm, “It’ll probably look like a mess tomorrow but I should be good.”

Thank god. No need for a sling…

“Good.” his tendrils withdrew from your shoulder and arm, lingering just a touch longer than necessary, “I mean good that it isn’t worse! Of course.”

He stepped back, flustered by his mistake.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll rest it up and get some meds on board. That should help. If not I’ll check in with a doctor.”

“Please see that you do. After all, we can’t have our Health Education teacher down for the count.”

“In this classroom I’m surprised I’m not dead yet.” you chuckled.

“ _As if I’d let that happen._ ” he chuckled, green stripes crossing his face.

“You know tomorrow’s going to be a mess right?”

“Oh, I certainly _hope_ so! Two assassins working against one another in a kill off? It should be _fantastic_!”

There was no way you were getting anything done tomorrow…


	26. Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly suggest checking out the playlist for the chapter title song because it's a pretty good Irina bop.  
> 

Rolling over, you winced. What a lovely thing to wake up to.

Shoulder pain.

You got up making your way to the mirror and tugged off your shirt carefully. Definitely sore and stiff. There were traces of purple showing in places too.

Lovely.

At least nothing was broken. You checked the time. 

_God bless_ you had two more hours to sleep.

Taking some painkillers, you curled back up in your futon.

At least it was only one shoulder. That’s what you told yourself when you came into the nurse’s office that day. With one shoulder your messenger bag wasn’t as painful to carry up the damn mountain.

You set your bag down carefully and sighed.

“Hey, Reader.”

You turned to find Irina standing in the doorway.

“Oh, hey… you holding up okay?”

“Yeah. Do you have any painkillers?”

“Sure.” you pulled a bottle from the shelf, passing it to her.

She shook out a few into her hand and she tossed it back to you.

You caught it and winced. Of course it was your dominant shoulder so therefore moving your dominant arm…

“Hey… uh...”

Reaching up, you returned the bottle to its shelf, “Yeah?”

“Look, I don’t need you helping me all the time or anything.” she sounded put out.

Where was this going?

“But… I wanted to say thanks... for yesterday.”

“You know how you can say thanks?”

Her eyes narrowed a bit, “How?”

“Let me assess you and make sure you’re fine.”

She huffed but gave in, taking a seat, “Fine, fine, this makes us even right?”

You chuckled, “It’s not about being even. This _is_ my job.”

She did _not_ look amused.

“Okay, can you tell me what happened to you?”

“Do you really need me to say it?”

“I mean I could give you another question if you like...”

“I was stupid and fell for a snare trap.”

“Okay. When did this happen?”

“Yesterday afternoon.” she snapped.

“Good.” you ignored her irritation, you’d handled much worse in the past, “Can you touch your right shoulder with your left hand for me?”

She did so, looking at you like you were an idiot the whole time.

“Aaaaaand left shoulder with right hand?”

“Is this _really_ necessary?”

“You left before I could check you yesterday, so yes.” you gave her your best smile, pulling out a pen light and flicking it on, “Okay, bright light.”

“Shit! A _little_ more warning?”

“And follow it...” you slowly moved it back and forth, watching, “So far so good, now-”

“There’s more?”

You held up your hands, “Grab my hands and squeeze.”

She did so and you winced, “Okay, okay I get it!”

Smirking, she let you go, “Good enough?”

“Relax, we’re almost done.” you shook out your hand, “You didn’t _have_ to use your nails.”

You had a feeling if you tried to do this to her yesterday you would have gotten a lot more than just her nails.

Carefully, you leaned in, looking at her neck, “... Did you put make up on this morning?”

“Yeah? What of it?”

“On your _neck_?” you gave her a pointed look.

She sighed, “What did you want me to come in with marks?”

“So it did leave marks.”

“Yeah.”

“What did they look like?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Either you can tell me or you can take off the make up and let me look for myself.”

“Fine, fine. It was just red marks.”

“Like a line?”

“And fingers.” she held up a hand showing that her fingers looked a bit bruised, “I was trying to keep it from cutting in.”

Yeesh. Chances are, given her line of work, this wasn’t the first time _for her_ either.

Reaching out, you gently checked over her neck, “Any pain?”

“Not really, just the skin mostly.”

“Seems to be no issues talking. Any issues with breathing, sore throat or swelling?”

Irina, you realized, also had a _Look_.

Hers was simple.

It always said _you were a fucking idiot_.

“ _No._ ”

“And what are the painkillers for?”

She made a face, “That fall to the floor wasn’t a walk in the park you know.”

You tugged the neck of your shirt to one side, showing off some lovely purple bruising coming in, “I’m aware.”

“Is that everything?”

“Not quite.” you leaned against the cot in the corner, looking at her, “I wanted to ask you something about your classes.”

One delicate brow arched up. She did not look pleased, “And that is?”

“Did I hear right that you’ve been french kissing the students?”

She laughed, “I mean it works both as an incentive and a punishment, so yeah, I have. What of it?”

“That’s-”

“Not appropriate school behavior?” she smirked, “ _Duh._ I know that.”

“Then _why_ are you doing it?”

She sat back, legs crossed, “In the world at large there’s going to be uncomfortable things they will experience. They’re going to get into tight spots, have people make advances. I teach them how to talk around people. Seduction is part of my job but so is knowing how to turn someone down and knowing how to manage your way through awkward interactions.”

You considered her response. From her perspective you were sure it didn’t seem too far out of the norm. Seduction, as she had said, was part of her job.

“If you’re also teaching them how to turn someone down, doesn’t that mean they should get a choice in the matter?”

“What, you want me to ask them if they want me to keep it up?”

“At the bare minimum. Or stop the practice altogether.”

She gave a shrug, “I’ll ask next class then. Why, were there complaints?” She sounded almost amused.

“No, I just heard it mentioned and wanted to know what was going on.”

“Fine. Well I’ll ask the brats. You want to be there for that?”

“That would be excellent.”

She clearly hadn’t expected you to agree.

“Alright. Now, I have someone to kill.” she pushed herself out of the chair, heading to the door.

“Good luck.”

You paused, realizing what you’d said. She gave a smirk and waved.

When did you start wishing people _luck_ in assassination?

With a sigh, you checked the time. Second period was soon.

Oh… _fantastic_.

You needed to get ready for drills.

Karasuma took pity on your shoulder, opting instead to have you run laps. Easy enough to do. By the time the class was over your legs were aching. Walking was one thing, jogging and running for extended periods was a whole other beast.

You joined your coworker near the edge of the field. The students were all sitting in the grass while he explained yesterday’s situation. The kids seemed equal parts amused and concerned.

“So there it is. Expect a few disruptions today, and hopefully it won’t interfere with your studies too much. Just carry on as normal, all right?”

“Oh, Mr. Karasuma! Excellent work today! I’ll bet you worked up quite a thirst! Have a nice cold drink!”

You hadn’t seen _this_ Irina since that first day of classes.

This made you realize that you preferred the catty, bitchy one.

“Here, go ahead and knock it back. It tastes like _a rainbow!_ ~”

You cringed. You _definitely_ preferred catty, bitchy Irina.

You preferred _any_ version of Irina that didn’t result in her saying _‘It tastes like a rainbow!’_ like that _ever again_.

Karasuma was clearly not impressed, “Probably spiked with a muscle relaxant. Immobilize and stab, oldest trick in the book.” he sighed, “There’s no way I’d let you get close enough to give it to me.”

“Oh! Then I’ll just leave it here for you-” she knelt to set the cup down and promptly fell on her face.

Yikes.

Did this _really work_ on people?

You thought about some of the couples you’d seen in your lifetime.

Yeah, no, it _definitely_ worked on some people.

Karasuma stormed off amid her cries for him to assist. Instead, Isogai and Mimura helped her to her feet.

“Hey, uh, no offense but even we wouldn’t have fallen for that...” Mimura gave her an apologetic smile. 

Irina shouted in response, “What choice do I have?! I can’t seduce someone who knows my M.O.! Chalk it down to occupational hazard!” she huffed, “A paid escort would be just as awkward if her customer happened to be her father!”

You raised an eyebrow at that example, but opted to put in your two cents, “Now, look, I know you’ll probably hate that I’m quoting the octopus but-”

She groaned.

“Maybe you need a second blade.”

Isogai nodded, “Yeah, that uh… act you put on is kind of over the top.”

She was staring daggers at the both of you.

“It’s true.” it was Hazama pitching in, “You were pretty transparent your first day here.”

“Who are all of you brats to be critiquing my skills?!” she kicked the thermos that she’d dropped earlier and stormed off.

“She really doesn’t take criticism well…” Kayano smiled awkwardly.

Everyone began to drift back inside and you wondered how much longer you’d be working with the blonde. You hadn’t even seen her ‘master’ yet today, which seemed a little more appropriate for a professional assassin. Either that or he just hadn’t shown which you _highly_ doubted...

The office chair felt particularly nice after running laps for as long as you had. Karasuma was still off brooding somewhere and Irina? You had no idea. Korosensei grinned over at you, gathering up the papers he’d been grading, “How are you feeling today?”

“Sore… and exhausted now. But I’m okay.”

He chuckled, “Glad to hear it.”

“... So.”

“Nue?”

“How did you get Karasuma to play along with this?” 

“I simply promised him something he _couldn’t_ turn down.”

“And that is?”

“An opportunity to kill me! If he manages to escape them both then I will stand still for one second. Ample time to assassinate someone.”

It didn’t sound like enough time to you but it did get the job done you supposed…

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t let that get out. Things might get a touch too cooperative otherwise.” he rose, papers in hand, “It’s time for class. Ta, ta, Reader.”

You watched him leave. This whole contest was ridiculous but somewhere in you there was a tiny sliver of fear. Karasuma was a nice guy but this was one case where you would not be in his cheering section.

Not long after that Karasuma joined you. 

“Mind sitting on this side, Mx. Reader?”

You looked up at him, “Huh?”

“I’d rather not be next to Irina today given the circumstances...”

You’d rather not be _between_ him and Irina… given the circumstances. But he already looked like he was having a day so you gave a nod and moved next to him.

When Irina came in she looked put out that you’d taken her seat but said nothing. The three of you sat in silence which was only broken by Karasuma’s standard tapping on his keyboard. Both of them looked… well, stressed was putting it _mildly_. You kept your attention on planning out the next set of examples for your class.

The period ended and class switched out once more. Korosensei shuffled into the room and paused, looking between you and Irina. He chuckled with a knowing glance at Karasuma as he took his seat. You gave him a nod and went back to what you were working on.

The silence stretched on uncomfortably. Just as you looked up to say something to break the tension, the door slammed open and a figure hurtled into the room. You kicked yourself and your chair back instinctively trying to get out of the way. Karasuma moved to do the same but something caused his chair to jam. 

Then suddenly Lovro was stretched across the desk, his wrist jammed hard against the table by Karasuma’s hand. Your work materials were scattered and Karasuma was standing, weight back on one leg, the other raised for balance. 

If it wasn’t these two men the pose might have looked _ridiculous_.

Karasuma released him and bent down to retrieve the fallen knife, “With all due respect, my friend, how straightforward did you think this was going to be? You’ve got skill, but frankly the years haven’t been kind. Did you seriously think you could take out someone whose been a member of the Elite Special Forces until just recently?”

Pivoting, he pointed the knife, not at Lovro, but at Korosensei and Irina, “Don’t forget. If I’m not dead by the end of the day...”

Korosensei and Irina both recoiled. You’d never seen a more terrified octopus.

“Wait, why are _you_ so scared?” she gave him a look.

“D-Don’t worry about it! But whatever you do, don’t lose! Do your best!”

He was literally _hiding_ behind her.

On one hand, you were worried about him but on the other hand…

He _100 percent_ brought this on himself.

Karasuma headed to the door, rubber knife in hand. How he managed to make that thing look deadly was beyond you. He paused in the doorway, glancing back, “FYI: With a good knife, I can strike five times in a second. So, _should be fun_.”

Oh.

_Oh great._

Maybe your estimates about how long it would take to stab someone were incorrect.

“Sir… your hand...”

Lovro had peeled off his glove. His wrist had swollen where it made contact with the table and was rapidly turning an ugly red-purple. That was _definitel_ y broken.

“I underestimated him and look where it got me.” he sighed, “It’s no fun getting old...”

You stood up, going over to him and reached out for his arm. He instinctively pulled back.

“I’m the nurse. _At least_ let me see it.”

With a resigned sigh, he held it out to you.

“I suppose I can’t expect to kill today in this condition.”

You were about to respond but-

“What kind of talk is that? Nonsense! That’s what it is! Don’t give up! You can do it!!!”

You had no idea where Korosensei got the cheerleading outfit. Chances are he made it himself. Why he had it on hand, or if he even had it on hand, you had no idea. But suddenly it was on his body and he was patting Lovro’s shoulders. Pom poms waved excitedly in a pair of his tendrils.

You gave him a look then went back to your examination. Both wrists were the same color and temperature. Circulation was good…

“No, even now with you this close, I know I can’t kill you. There are times when an assassin must judge who is stronger and be willing to withdraw. The same goes for Irina. She can tell before she goes in for the kill if it’s impossible for her to terminate her target. Looks like this will be a draw.”

In a flash Korosensei was back in his usual robes, a green skull and crossbones appearing on his forehead, “Very well, if giving up is your choice, don’t let me stop you. But before you make too many assumptions, keep an eye on Ms. Irina. Experienced or not an assassin is simply someone who kills their target.”

Lovro’s response was cool, “Have it your way.” scratch that, it was _freezing_.

“Let me get that splinted for you. The sooner the better.” you gestured for Lovro to follow and headed to the nurse’s office. This day just kept getting better and better...

Circulation was good. Sensation was good. Motion was good. You had a feeling this wasn’t his first rodeo with a broken bone of some kind. Unpacking one of the splints the ministry had sent, you got to work.

“So… you trained Irina, huh?”

What sort of small talk was one supposed to make with assassins?

“Yes.”

Well… that was… concise.

“Has she always had that chip on her shoulder?”

He chuckled in an almost paternal way. For the first time, you got an inkling that this terrifying man might have a little something more to him than just murder.

“Always.”

“... how did you meet her?” you tucked a roll of gauze in his hand to keep it in a neutral position.

“Found more than met.” his eyes were trained on your hands as you worked but you felt like he wasn’t actually seeing them, “My associate, Olga, discovered her. She was the last survivor of a village that was wiped off the map by the wars of men.”

That was an awfully _poetic_ way to say a war orphan… but okay.

“Damn... She never said.”

He smirked, “It is the nature of the assassin. Pasts are either liabilities or just another day. Why concern yourself with them? They have shaped you but they do not control you.”

You… weren’t really sure what to say to that. On some level you could understand what he meant. How had someone put it to you once… ?

“It’s okay to look back at the past, just don’t stare at it too long.”

He nodded.

“How long has she been training with you?”

“Since she was small. Nine years."

You stared at him, " _ Nine years old? _ "

He nodded. "She assassinated her target three years later. She was a natural.

Twelve…

She killed her first person at twelve...

"... then why are you adamant about her leaving?"

"Her talents are wasted here. It's like hiring Michelangelo to paint a nursery school."

"Did you ever consider that she might learn new talents here?"

He looked at you, raising a brow, "From who? The munchkins?"

You laughed a bit at that, "Maybe. Everyone here is learning something. Karasuma is teaching me alongside the kids in drills. Meanwhile, he is finding out new teaching methods from Korosensei and adapting slightly better social skills thanks to the kids. I'm teaching the kids first aid… everyone learns from one another."

"And Korosensei? What is it he learns?"

You checked to make sure his wrist was secure, "I think a good dose of humility from time to time."

He chuckled at that.

Taking both of his hands, you ran through the steps again. Good color, even temperature.

"Wiggle your fingers a little?"

He did so, you could see the corner of his mouth tighten.

So at least you knew the guy did feel pain.

You tapped his index finger, "What finger am I touching."

"First."

"Good." You grabbed one of the ice packs from the now empty faculty lounge and returned, pressing it to his swollen wrist.

"You need to get to a doctor for proper treatment but that should have you good for now."

He gave a nod, "Thank you…"

Making his way to the door, he paused, looking back at you, "We will see how Irina does today. Perhaps she can show me new tricks."

"Maybe."

You sure hoped she could...

The kids insisted you eat lunch with them today. It was actually Nakamura who fetched you from the nurse’s office energetically.

You figured that it might not be a bad idea. These mock assassination attempts wouldn’t be happening in the classroom so it should be a bit _safer_ to eat in there. 

You rolled your office chair into the classroom, bento in hand.

There was a chorus of greetings when you entered the room. You gave a wave, sitting in your chair and rolling across the room towards the far side.

"Hey Mx. Reader." Nagisa gave you a smile, "You okay? Mr. Karasuma mentioned you were hurt yesterday."

Oh.

_Yeah._

Well, it made sense that he’d let them know why you weren’t running drills.

“Yeah...” you tugged your collar to one side for the second time today, showing off the bruise.

“Holy! That looks bad!” Nagisa leaned forward, staring. 

His exclamation drew the attention of some of his classmates. A few of the kids clustered around, staring.

“That’s crazy.” Maehara looked over in surprise.

”It’s those boobs, Professor Bitch is very top heavy.” Kayano said sagely, taking another bite of her food.

You uh…

You highly doubted that.

“It was more like, her thighs...”

You saw Okajima perk up from across the room, “ _What?!_ ”

“Karasuma told us, remember?” Okano looked at him, “Reader caught her on their shoulders?”

“You had her THIGHS on your shoulders?!” he stood up, slamming his hands on the table.

“Yo.” Karma’s voice, though relaxed, cut through the chatter, “Have a look at this.”

Kayano looked out the window, following his line of sight. Karasuma was sitting under one of the trees outside, “Yeah. Mr. Karasuma eats lunch there a lot.” 

Karma chuckled, nodding out the window, “And the spider moves in for the kill...”

Outside, you saw Irina approaching Karasuma. You pursed your lips, watching. What was she going to go for? 

In her hand, was a rubber knife.

A little obvious…

The classroom’s attention was trained on the pair outside.

The two appeared to be talking as she shrugged out of her jacket, letting it slip to the ground.

You found yourself biting your lip, one hand clenching against your pant leg.

You shouldn’t be so tense. It wasn’t your life on the line…

There were shouts of surprise as she looped around the tree. Karasuma was yanked to one side, rolling and falling onto his back. She pinned him, knife aimed at his heart.

Wh-

_What had just happened?_

Okajima nearly had his face pressed to the window, “Man, this is hot!”

“Go Professor Bitch!” Nakamura was grinning.

There was a brief struggle before Karasuma’s arms fell, the knife touching his chest.

In the wake of her win, you let out a rush of breath that you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

Cheers resounded in the classroom.

“She did it!”

“Way to go, Ms. Bitch!”

“She won!!”

You smiled a bit to yourself.

Looks like the classroom wasn’t losing its resident bitch after all…

_Or its resident octopus..._

As the day rounded out, you headed back into the faculty lounge to gather your things.

The room seemed more crowded than usual…

Karasuma and Korosensei stood, bickering in front of-

_Oh for the love of God._

That was a suit of armor. A very octopoid shaped suit of armor.

You quietly gathered your things while they debated how much self defense was appropriate in a situation like that.

Why were you remotely surprised by anything in this classroom anymore?

You left them to it, heading out to the path down the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, Reader. You've been getting to do your job.  
> Also I know that I'm behind on illustrations but I've been trying to work to get these next few chapters banged out first. Sorry about that! They will be added in later.


	27. The Devil is an Octopus

It was the weekend and you were excited.

The reason?

Not a hot date or a movie release or some new product coming out.

 _Oh no._

No no, you were being _a real adult_ today.

Donki was having a sale on snacks and you were _110% ready for that_.

You tugged on your messenger bag and grabbed your umbrella. It was _absolutely_ worth braving the rain for this. The train trip went by quickly and soon you were standing before the boxy building with the huge familiar MEGA sign on the roof.

You headed in. There was something positively charming about Donki stores. Well… that could be your wallet talking. They were pretty cheap which was helpful. Also the shop was just… fun. Bright colors, their chipper jingle on the speakers, and huge towers of products. It was like a maze.

You made a beeline for your destination.

Losing yourself in aisles like this had been an escape from your tiny apartment when you’d first moved here. There was something familiar about supermarkets and shops like this. A sort of universal sense of anonymity. Everyone was just here to get necessary items so not much attention was paid to you.

You’d arrived.

Oh, _hell yes_.

You browsed, making your selections. 

Let’s seeeeeee….

Meltykiss. Yes. Absolutely.

Kasugai gummies. And they had your favorite flavor too. Perfect.

Aaaaaand Hokkaido Soft candies.

Oh hey, Apollos!

Yesssss, Rich Biscuits. You’d polished off your last pack the other night with that nightmare.

And there were the bamboo shoot cookies. You grabbed a box or two.

The octopus was less likely to hassle you if you fed him.

That’s the lie you told yourself.

You rounded another aisle and a display caught your eye. Bright packages with fruit on the label.

Kororo Gummies. You’d been intending to try these. You picked up a package, looking over the selections....

"Reader? Is that you?"

You froze. 

You _knew_ that voice.

There was no _mistaking_ that voice…

You looked up, peering over a stack of boxes.

That stupid smiling face was looking at you from the next aisle.

 _God dammit_ . Why was _he_ here?

Had he been summoned by the snacks?

"Korosensei?"

" _What a small world!~_ " he rounded the aisle, joining you.

You felt your chest seize a little.

_Fucking feelings!_

You gave him your best smile, hopefully covering how flustered you were to even run into him outside of school like this.

He chuckled, his gaze darted to your basket and back up at you, "You're here because of the candy sale aren't you?"

_Dammit!_

"Maybe…"

"Nurufufufu…"

_Double dammit!!_

He eyed the selection in your hand for a moment and you saw a flicker of green stripes.

You glanced at the gummies. Kororo-

_Triple dammit!!!_

There it was, kids, the hat-trick of embarrassment!

“So, uh...” you tossed the gummies in your basket, “I take it you’re here for the same reason then?”

His basket was stuffed in much the same way yours was.

He gave a nod, “Of course.”

Wow. You just could _not_ think of anything to say. You turned your attention to the shelf, trying to settle your racing heart. 

God, this was _stupid_...

"Well, since we _happen_ to be in the same area…” his voice pulled your attention back to him ”would you be interested in having lunch with me?"

The Lord was _testing you_. That had to be it.

"Sure!"

You _failed_ the test.

He chuckled, “I think I have just the place for something light.”

You wondered if this was going to be another flight or not. Well, you’d find out soon enough you guessed…

You ended up making a few more selections, many based on his _enthusiastic_ suggestions. You were happy for them because it kept him talking and the focus off of you. He could prattle on all he liked about Kit Kats and how they became so culturally significant. It kept you from having to talk and gave you time to get your heart under control.

You hadn’t expected this surprise attack. During school was one thing. Out and about in the real world, it was a little more… difficult.

You both checked out, you tucking your purchases away in your bag. He, meanwhile, vanished and reappeared shortly after with his bags missing but an umbrella in hand.

Must be nice to be able to just zip back home like that...

“Shall we?” he popped open the umbrella. It was surprisingly large but then again, so was he.

You opened your own umbrella, more for a way to hide your face than anything, and followed him. So, wherever this was must be nearby then…

He turned down a side street and you both bustled your way past vending machines, you rounded another corner and at first thought you might be heading to the ramen shop there. Instead, he bypassed it and you found yourself in front of a narrow coffee shop by the name of Doutor. Closing your umbrellas you headed inside.

The place was really narrow but it looked cozy and charming enough. This time of the day there were only a few patrons. You were moving towards lunch so you were a bit surprised.

The two of you reviewed the menu and made your selections. Soon you were seated in a small sort of booth, your back to the wall. He sat facing you.

Most of the patrons had cleared out.

Great!

_Fantastic!_

You were _dying_. There was no distraction from him. No work to grade, nothing to plan.

Only your meal.

Your last delicious line of defense.

“You left rather quickly yesterday. I was concerned.” 

“Oh... yeah I just wanted to get home and rest up. You know… still sore and all...” you rolled your shoulder slightly to illustrate.

What had you even ordered? It was a sort of wrap, possibly pita bread? You carefully took a bite to cover your awkward response. Chicken, vegetables, mozzarella and basil…

Not bad actually.

He chuckled, “I imagine. You _did_ take quite the tumble.”

You nodded, “I’m just glad everyone seems to be okay… well, I mean, other than Lovro.”

“I’m sure he’ll bounce back in no time. One doesn’t become a world class assassin without expecting some injury, after all.” he bit into his own sandwich.

“Yeah, I guess not...” you made a face, “Hope we won’t have that issue with the kids.”

“I imagine that, even if we run into trouble, they’ll be in quite capable hands.” his eyes narrowed.

Fuck.

You turned your attention to your boba tea, taking a drink.

When you looked up he was focused on his latte, blowing on it carefully. Well thank god he seemed distracted.

You took the opportunity to tuck back into your wrap, maybe you could make it through this whole lunch without anything being too-

“You know, you’re looking _exceptional_ today, Reader.”

You proceeded to choke on your wrap.

Classy.

“Are you alright?” he was alarmed.

Coughing, you took a drink of your boba, nodding.

You could feel your face burning.

This was hell.

You were in hell.

And the devil was an octopus.

“Are you sure?” he seemed legitimately worried, a half-empty gloved hand reaching cross to pat your back.

No. Not at all. You were not _remotely_ alright.

You nodded, lying, “Yeah, just… went down the wrong pipe. I’m okay.”

If you had, in fact, looked exceptional (which you doubted), you certainly didn’t anymore. Face red from the coughing and embarrassment, eyes watering.

He didn’t look convinced but seemed content to let it slide.

“As I was saying… you look exceptionally well today, Reader.” he grinned across the table at you, “In spite of your recent injuries.”

Exceptionally _well._

_Wowie you felt like an idiot._

“Yeah, been trying to let my shoulder rest mostly. It’s not looking pretty but that’s just what happens with bruises. A couple of weeks and it’ll be like it was never there.” you took another drink of your tea, happy your airway was no longer trying to actively murder you, “Bodies are wild that way.”

He propped his chin up on his hand, “They certainly are. Scars fade, new growth occurs, it’s fascinating how it can repair itself.”

“Nothing like yours, of course.” you took another bite, “Though I appreciate my body not liquifying.”

“It’s not so terrible.” he gave a small shrug, “Looks far more dramatic than it is.”

You somehow doubted that. Especially given the green stripes faintly beginning to show up on his face.

“Hey, Moodring, aren’t you supposed to be incognito?”

He faltered and whistled innocently, stripes instantly fading.

“How has no one noticed that yet?”

“People are often willing to accept the normal over the unusual. It’s far more convenient for them. Easier to rationalize.” he tapped his head, eyes narrowing, “Clever assassins use that to their advantage.”

A question occurred to you that you had never thought to ask…

“How _do_ you know so much about assassination anyway?” you looked across the table at him, tipping your head, “It’s not a standard curriculum.”

His eyes narrowed, grin sharpening, “Do I look like someone who teaches the standard curriculum?”

Leaning in further you narrowed your own eyes, “That didn’t answer my question.”

He chuckled and sat back, sipping his drink, “Let’s just say I’m well studied in a variety of topics.”

Something else to add to your notes you supposed…

You tucked back into your wrap, chewing and mulling this information over.

“So, Reader...”

You looked up at him.

“You never did tell me what, _exactly_ , you dreamed about me the other night.”

Hoooooo _boy_.

You took a long drink of your tea to stall for time. Should you tell him?

Why the hell not, this day was already something else.

“I killed you.” you went right back to your drink which was the most interesting thing in the world right now.

There was silence from the other side of the table for a long moment.

“And that made you _worry_ about me?”

You looked up at him, finally. You expected green stripes but there were none to be found.

“Yeah… it did.”

You held each other’s gaze for a moment before you looked back down at the table.

“I mean you can’t die yet right?” you joked, “We have a trip in July.”

His grin widened, “Right.”

There was something in the tone of his voice… it felt off. Not his usual. Not entirely happy either.

You quickly turned your attention to finishing your food.

This had gotten awkward fast.

“You know, Reader, you don’t need to worry.”

You looked up at him, surprised at the statement.

His eyes narrowed and green stripes appeared across his face, “It’s not like you could kill me anyway.~”

“I know that.” you stuffed the last bite in your mouth, mostly as an excuse to not have to keep talking.

He chuckled, “And yet it concerns you so much you have nightmares about it.”

You made a face, “It was just a nightmare. One nightmare. Nothing deep about it.”

Sipping his latte he gave a nod, “True, dreams aren’t often literal.”

You both sat in silence for a moment.

“Ready to go?”

You nodded.

Out on the street he turned to you, grin wide, “I do appreciate your concern, Reader. And, while dreams often aren’t literal, I _do_ have to wonder what worries you so much that your mind would conjure that.”

“I don’t know.” you lied, “Nightmares are just nightmares.”

He gave a small hum but seemed content to let the topic lie for now.

“Thank you for accompanying me, it was an… _enlightening_ lunch.”

“No problem. I should probably be getting back home though.” You popped open your umbrella.

“I could give you a lift?”

“No, no. I have some errands to run on the way anyway.”

Another lie.

“Very well. Til tomorrow, then.”

You nodded and then turned, heading off down the street as quickly as you could without looking suspicious. Something felt really… off about the end of that outing. Not his usual strangeness. You couldn’t put your finger on it-

You paused in the middle of the street, rain pattering on the umbrella covering you.

That was the tone he used for people like Lovro… or Asano.

God dammit.

Well that… _that didn’t feel great._

When you got home you opened your messenger bag to take out your snacks and, tucked in alongside them, neatly wrapped in a tissue… was an anti-sensei knife.

Taking it out of the bag you glared at it.

Was he baiting you?

You went over to the balcony and hurled it before heading back inside.

Fuck _that._


	28. Inhale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also oh man I suggest listening to the song for this chapter because dang man.  
> [It's called What You Know.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3EfiMY17N1VdJCetnDGzrC?si=Y_wFYEMBSja7w65RxK6Nnw)  
> [Korosensei's POV](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49011032)

When you got to your office the next day, you found another blade. This one was laying out on your desk, the hilt wrapped delicately in a tissue. It set your teeth on edge. You dropped your bag in your chair and picked the knife up and headed into the faculty lounge. Irina, Karasuma, and Korosensei were all doing their morning routines, preparing for the day.

Korosensei looked up as you entered, eyes narrowing as they flicked to the knife in your hand.

Karasuma noticed you next, his expression one of surprise.

Irina followed his gaze and looked at you in confusion.

You strode across the room and dropped the knife in the trash, keeping eye contact with the octopus the entire time.

The tense silence of the room was broken by the bell.

“... I don’t know what’s going on here but I’ve got an English class to teach.” Irina got up and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“What’s the problem, Mx. Reader?” Karasuma looked to you, tone calm, almost bored.

“Nothing.”

You turned and left the room, heading back to the nurse’s office. You were going to work there today.

Another knife. This one in your bag. You gritted your teeth. Opening the window, you flung it out as far as you could towards the playing field. What an _ass._

You went back to grading. A cross breeze came in gently through the window and your paper cranes tumbled across the desk.

You got up, slamming the window shut. When you turned around…

A bb gun… _and_ a knife.

You settled yourself for a moment before going over and righting your paper cranes. Then you picked up the weapons and crossed back into the faculty lounge where you threw these, as well, into the trash.

Karasuma and Irina looked up at you.

“Okay, what’s the deal with this?” Irina looked at you, raising a brow.

“Those are government property.” Karasuma sighed, fishing them out of the trash, “As much as they look like toys they cost quite a bit to make.”

“Then tell him to stop leaving them for me.”

You stormed back to your office.

When lunch came you didn’t bother going back into the faculty lounge, opting instead to eat your bento alone. Halfway through your chopsticks suddenly morphed into a knife.

“HEY!”

This was starting to piss you off properly now. You flung the knife across the room. There was a rush and he was there, picking up the knife gently with a tissue.

“Why are you doing this?” you got up, going over to him, “I’m not here to assassinate anyone!”

He stared down at you for a long moment before placing the knife in your hand.

You stood, staring at him and looking to the knife. Neither of you moved. You swallowed hard, feeling the beginnings of tears prickling in your eyes. You tossed the knife. It skittered across the floor, vanishing under the table.

“What?” you glared up at him. This was probably the quietest he’d been in the entire time you’d known him, “Do you want me to kill you? Are you trying to prove a point? Because _it’s not happening_.”

“Don’t think you can do it?” he chuckled, green stripes on his face.

It still felt cold. Harsh.

“I don’t WANT to do it.” you glared up at him. “I don’t want you to-”

You cut yourself off, taking a moment to breathe.

His expression, for the first time in the day, softened.

“So… _that’s_ what the nightmare was about.” he sounded as though you’d confirmed any suspicion he had.

You scrubbed hand across your eyes, “Yeah. No shit.”

His hand came to rest on your head. Something about it calmed you, you sighed, still rubbing at your eyes. A tissue was pressed into your hand. You used that instead.

“Someone will, eventually, Reader.” he spoke softly, “It’s best to understand that now.”

“I know that. But you don’t have to rub it in.”

Abruptly you found yourself pulled forward, pressed against his front in a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, clutching at the robes that smelled like old books and summer rain.

After a long moment the bell rang and he released you.

“I do believe it’s time for class.” he said softly.

You nodded, “Yeah.”

He left the room and an air of melancholy settled over you.

You sat at your desk, burying your face in your hands.

_What were you going to do about this?_

As you began to head down the mountain that day you felt a breeze and heard a familiar rush of wind behind you. A hand came to rest on your shoulder.

“Reader.”

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to remind you of something.”

“What?”

He leaned in over your shoulder, expression gentle, “ _I’m not dead yet._ ”

“I know.”

“So, why worry about it?” his tone perked up as he straightened, “Life is an _adventure_ , Reader. It’s something to be basked in, _relished_. Worrying about what’s to come only gives uncertainty.”

His hand squeezed your shoulder lightly.

“It’s better to plan for what’s to come. _Prepare_. That is what will bring you peace.”

What he was saying made sense. You knew it did.

Without thinking, you reached up and put your hand over his, “I’ll try.”

You felt… something. A twitch as you touched his hand perhaps?

Taking a breath, you smiled and removed your hand from his. Turning, you gave him a look, “But no more damn knives. Karasuma already got pissed at me for throwing them away.”

He laughed, “A waste of the government’s money?”

“Yeah.” and just like that, you felt like you could breathe.

Thank god.

“I know a lovely little place near yours, would you be interested in stopping for a coffee?”

“Sure.” you smiled, “Preferably an outing where I don’t start choking.”

“Preferably.” he smirked, “After all, can’t have you dying before I do now can we?”

“I can’t anyway. We have a place to go in July.”

He chuckled, “Indeed.”

This cafe visit went much smoother. You didn’t choke, you didn’t feel like dying, there was no intimidating tension... 

You only felt one thing.

_Relief._


	29. Kisses, Cranes, and Sonic Ninja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to have more canon content and take me a bit of time to put together so last update for now!  
> Also check out the notes on chapter one! A friend put together something wild for this fic and I think you guys might like it!

“Okay, so, Reader here has some concerns about how I’m running the class.” Irina stood in front of the kids, hands on her hips. You’d been called into the second period English class the next day but you’d almost completely forgotten why.

Whelp. _Now_ you remembered.

The class looked between the two of you in surprise.

You should have expected her approach to be so direct.

“So, I’m supposed to ask you if you want me to keep the french kissing as part of the curriculum.”

The kids continued looking between the two of you for a moment

“What?!” it was Okajima who spoke up, staring at you specifically.

“Well,” this was going to be interesting, “You’re all children and she’s an adult who is-”

“SO?!” Okajima cut you off and you gave him a look.

“I’m sure that some of you have felt uncomfortable with her teaching methods. I’m not saying that all of her methods are bad. But I asked her to at least offer you the option to reject this particular approach.”

The students looked between one another.

“I mean… it’s not really that bad.”

You hadn’t expected Yada to be the one to sheepishly speak up. She was blushing brightly.

“Yeah, it’s kind of useful.” Nakamura sat back, grinning.

“Okay… well,” you looked at Irina, who shrugged, “Let’s take a vote. Who would like Irina to stop kissing people for reward and punishment?”

Not a single hand went up.

Oof.

“No offense, Mx. Reader.” Nagisa gave you an apologetic smile, “But it does actually teach us something.”

There were agreements around the room.

“Alright then...” you gestured and looked at Irina, “I guess uh… if everyone is fine.... Let me know if you guys have any concerns then, okay?”

There were agreements. Irina clapped her hands together, “Alright, so, back to Sex and the City.”

That was… okay.

_Okay._

At lunch that day, Korosensei was positively chipper, humming and generally being excited. He was definitely in high spirits. It was much better than the challenging silence of before.

Things felt normal.

Or what passed for normal here.

“What’s gotten into you?” you finally asked.

“One of my favorite series is updating and I’ll be going to the premiere!”

“Oh!” that… wasn’t what you had expected. There was something about the idea of Korosensei in a movie theatre that struck you as odd. Then again, anytime he was anywhere but the classroom it felt a bit odd.

“So, what movie is it?”

“Sonic Ninja! Have you heard of it?”

“Yeah, one of the superhero movies, right? The US has been making a ton of them lately. They’re not really my thing so much.”

He seemed a touch surprised, “What sorts of films do you like?”

“Well… I mean… I do like a little bit of everything but I tend to prefer animated films. Especially the ones here. I grew up watching Studio Ghibli movies back home.”

“I see.” he tapped his chin, “Some of the children mentioned those in their last class. Seems Irina is letting them pick the next film to watch in English.”

You chuckled, “I mean, those would be good ones since they’re already familiar with them. They get to see any changes that were made in translation.”

Man, you were doing _great_ today. You were having a normal conversation with him. You weren't dying. This was nice. Maybe you got it all out of your system over the past two days. Maybe your feelings were giving you a break.

He gave a nod and suddenly perked up possibly even more so than he had been previously.

"Reader, what would you think of a _movie night_?" he sounded positively ecstatic. 

You looked over at him, "Sounds like fun, think the children's parents would let them stay for one?"

He sputtered, almost like he was caught off guard by your question.

"What?"

He was silent for a moment and you saw him go a touch blue, "I-well… that is…" 

Your stare seemed to fluster him.

"I meant a movie night _outside_ of the classroom. For us." He'd gone a bit pink.

"Oh."

 _Oh_.

_Oh??_

_OH!_

Your brain ricocheted to a million different possibilities with that statement. You’d felt a bit scattered since yesterday and the day before so you weren’t exactly prepared for the question...

Thankfully, auto pilot kicked in.

"Yeah, sure. Sounds good. My place fine?"

Auto pilot had _failed_ you.

_What did you just do?_

A little voice in the back of your head was screaming. 

_Why had you offered to host?????_

_What if he meant the actual movies? Fuck._

"That sounds _perfect_. Tomorrow then?"

"Sure."

You turned back to the papers you were grading, screaming internally. 

_What had you just done?_

You’d invited the octopus to your house. That’s what you’d done.

God was punishing you for your hubris. You’d let yourself think you were doing fine and fell into the trap. Jesus H. Christ.

“I’ll bring the popcorn.” you’d thought he’d been insufferably chipper before but not it was positively overwhelming.

You were going to have to clean, and make sure you had drinks, and pick out mov-

You turned to him, “What movies would you want to watch?”

“Why don’t you share some of your favorites with me?”

Ahahahahahahahhaaa _fuck…_

“Sure!”

When the bell finally rang and he headed back to class you laid you face on your desk.

You could barely handle the cafe. A _public_ cozy space.

You could barely handle him yesterday in your office.

Or the walk down the mountain.

How _the hell_ were you going to handle your _apartment?_

While you were packing up your things to head home you heard a tapping on the doorframe of the nurse’s office.

When you turned you saw Chiba and Hiyami standing in the doorway. You gave them a wave, “Hey there, everything okay?”

“Yeah, we just came by to give you these.” Hayami held out her hands.

More cranes. You accepted them carefully. They’d apparently made multiple. Gold foil music notes, polka dots, paw prints, interconnecting rings...the patterns were varied. There were eight total.

“Thank you. I’ll have to put these with the rest.”

“Hey, Doc, hold up.” Yoshida leaned around Chiba, holding out a crane of his own, “Don’t forget this one.”

You accepted that as well. It was a checkered flag pattern.

You laughed a little, “Okay, is there anyone else?”

“I think that’s everyone today.” Hiyami gave a nod.

“Alright. Maybe I should make a submission box for them or something. That way you guys can drop them off when I’m not here.”

Chiba nudged Hiyami and she nodded to him, “We gotta get going, see you tomorrow!”

You waved. Yoshida had already vanished.

Nine more cranes…

You settled them with their siblings and pulled out a new post it note.

_Total: 36_

_Left: 964_

Maybe you’d look at a submission box soon or at least find another place to put these guys…

You laid in bed that night staring at the ceiling.

He was visiting _tomorrow_.

What were you _thinking_?

_Christ._

You rubbed your face with your palms.

How was _this_ going to go?

Well…. You were going to find out tomorrow you guessed.


	30. Violence is the Language of Beasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long ass chapter because of just how much happens and because Shiro will literally not shut up.  
> Illustration to come!

When your alarm went off the next morning, you crawled out of your futon. You’d slept like a rock. Unfortunately, thanks to your shoulder, you also  _ felt _ like you’d slept on a rock.

You swiped your alarm off.

“Good morning, Mx. Reader!”

You almost screamed. What-

Had you called someon-

A familiar, chipper face looked out at you.

“Ritsu… ?”

She gave a wave and a smile.

“Okay, am I dreaming, what is this?”

“Oh, I’ve downloaded myself onto your phone! I did it for everyone in the class. This way we can all communicate more efficiently. I’m Mobile Ritsu!”

Of course she did. Of course she was.

You sighed, “Oh… kay, well, I need to uh… get ready.”

“Alright! I’ll be in standby! Just ask for me if you need me!” she chirped before disappearing from your screen.

Good god you had an interactive Siri with free will in your phone.

You didn’t have the time or the brain capacity to consider that this morning. You dug out some clothes and headed for the shower.

When the hot water hit you the generator of your brain started up and the lights began to come on. Oh god.  _ You had company coming tonight. _

_ Oh fuck. _

On your way to the old campus Ritsu’s voice came from your pocket, “Mx. Reader! You have an unopened email from Mr. Karasuma!”

“Yeah?”

“Would you like me to read it to you?”

“Uh… Sure, I guess?” sounded better than trying to juggle your phone and umbrella in this rain.

“To the Faculty of E-Class: The second transfer student will be arriving today. Signed, Mr. Karasuma”

“Well, that’s short, sweet, and to the point.”

You crested the hill and made your way to the school building. Your distraction this morning had made you a tad bit later than usual. 

You hoped no one would be too upset with you since you were early most days.

Maybe they'd be too busy with the transfer student to notice.

Then again, with a transfer student coming in…

“That means all hell is probably going to break loose today.”

“What do you mean?” Ritsu sounded concerned.

“Well, from what I was told you were pretty disruptive at first, right?”

“Yeah?”

“So far most new people coming into this class are here to kill Korosensei. Which means this person is probably going to be disruptive too. I just hope they don’t do anything stupid and get hurt.”

You headed inside.

“He is a much better assassin than I am so  _ perhaps _ he will be less destructive...”

“You don’t sound so sure of that.”

“I’m trying to ‘maintain a positive outlook’. Korosensei says that it helps significantly in endearing yourself to others.”

Oooooooof course he did.

You made your way to the nurse’s office and put your things down. As you did, a white robed figure strode past the door.

Uh? That man looked far too tall to be a student…

Then again Ritsu was a computer and was also a student sooo…

You followed him, watching as he entered the classroom. Karasuma joined you. From your position you could easily see into the classroom and hear the man introduce himself. He sounded positively _ kindly _ .

“Sorry! Sorry. Didn’t mean to frighten you.” he chuckled, “I can see that you’re confused. I’m not your new classmate, just his guardian. You can call me Shiro.”

The door slid shut behind him and you noticed that Korosensei was nowhere to be-

Oh.

Nevermind.

Leaning in a bit you could see that he’d liquified himself into a corner of the room.

“So uh… what’s with the white robed dude?”

Karasuma glanced over at you, “He’s heading the boy’s training.”

“Yeah?” you watched Shiro standing at the front of the class speaking with Korosensei who had shifted back to his regular form.

“Is this going to be a thing all year? New students trained to murder him?” you sighed, “Gets pretty disruptive doesn-”

“ITONA! COME!” 

You jumped, Shiro’s voice was loud and commanding but no student approach-

There was a terrible crashing sound and you cried out in surprise as a portion of the classroom’s back wall shattered.

A boy in full school uniform with pale hair and a troubled look took his seat at the back of the classroom. If he hadn’t just come through the damn wall, you would have thought he looked rather like a marshmallow of a boy. 

“YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?!” you gestured, looking at Karasuma, “They won’t even fix a LEAK but we get new kids to tear up the place? What’s this one? Another robot?”

Karasuma held up a hand, gesturing for you to turn your attention to the classroom.

Your outburst had been ignored in the light of Itona approaching the front of the class. His voice was commanding as he spoke.

“I only kill things that are stronger than me. And in this classroom that’s only you, Korosensei.”

Korosensei’s eyes narrowed as he took a bite of yokan he’d acquired from... _ somewhere _ , “Stronger? Weaker? Them’s fightin’ words, Itona. And I don’t think you’re ready to take me on just yet.”

“Sure I am.” the boy’s tone was casual, “Taking down the strongest is what I do.”

“Well, look no further. I’m stronger than you by a whole order of magnitude. In fact, I’d hazard to say that in a trial of strength you and I aren’t even in the same dimension.”

“Sure we are.” the boy pulled out his own container of yokan, sinking his teeth into it, wrapper intact, “After all, we are siblings.”

You gave Karasuma a look. He shook his head, looking confused himself.

“As siblings we don’t need to resort to cheap tricks, do we, big brother? Killing you will prove I’m the stronger one. After school we face off in this classroom. Today will be your last day teaching. You had better say goodbye to your students.”

Itona strode out through the hole he had created.

This year was going to be one long anxiety attack wasn’t it?

Now you had to worry about a  _ psychotic marshmallow _ .

The classroom fell into chaos, all the students talking at once. Korosensei was already protesting that he wasn’t related to the new student. Shiro chuckled and made his exit, emerging into the hall. Spotting you both, he gave a wave, “Hello! Now, this is a new face. Mr. Karasuma?”

Karasuma nodded, “This is Mx. Reader, the Health Education teacher here.”

“How very nice to meet you!” his tone sounded cheerful.

You gave a small awkward wave. 

“Shall we retire to the faculty lounge?” Shiro chuckled, “After all, I’ll need to be here to supervise the fight.”

“Sure. This way.” Karasuma lead on.

Lovely. You were going to be stuck with  _ this dude _ all day.

“Is it true they’re brothers? Or was that just a tactic to fluster him?” Karasuma asked him as you took your seats.

“I apologize for throwing you off, Mr. Karasuma. It was necessary to keep my ward’s existence classified. Unfortunately, I’m afraid that meant you had to be kept in the dark. But I assure you: he is indeed Korosensei’s brother. Their little contest after school this afternoon will make that extremely evident..” he pulled out a copy of Shonen Jump, flipping through it.

Those two were supposed to be brothers? It was feasible given that Korosensei was human you supposed.

But if that was the case… 

You took out your journal, jotting down a few notes to yourself:

_ Korosensei may have a younger brother by the name of Itona. _

_ Itona is _ terrifying _ and does seem to possess certain abilities. He walked through a wall of the classroom no problem. _

_ Does this mean Itona is going to grow up to look like Korosensei? _

_ Is this some government experiment gone wrong? _

_ Is he a clone? _

_ If he’s a clone is that what Korosensei looked like as a human? _

You,  _ as usual, _ had more questions than answers.

“So… ” you looked up at Shiro, “What’s been done to him?”

“Hm?” he glanced up at you over his manga, tone amused.

Karasuma was beginning to give you  _ the Look, _ but you weren’t having any of it today.

“Okay, look, preteens don’t just walk through walls like they’re made of tissue paper. So what’s the deal with him? Is he another robot?”

Shiro laughed heartily at your suggestion, “No, no. Nothing of that sort. He _ is _ an exceptionally talented boy though.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

The eyes behind the shroud squinted upwards in a smile, “I’m afraid the exact nature of the boy’s abilities are classified, Mx. Reader. I’m sure you understand.”

He was as dodgy as the octopus but the feeling you got from him wasn’t  _ remotely _ the same. There was something about him that made you uneasy, even outside of the context of his introduction. His friendliness was cloying, like the sweetness of nightshade honey hiding the dangers underneath.

With that exchange, an uncomfortable silence fell only broken by his occasional quiet, if exaggerated, laughter at the book in his hands.

Today was going to be  _ absolutely _ unnerving.

When lunch came around you left the lounge and popped your head into the classroom. The air was tense here as well but maybe you could learn a thing or two about your new student. Korosensei noticed you first, “Mx. Reader, how good of you to join us.”

You gave a wave. Some of the kids looked relieved to have something besides the elephant in the room that was Itona to focus on. You made your way across the classroom, noticing that, while all the children had their bentos out, Itona’s lunch seemed to consist primarily of snacks.

So, Shiro wasn’t even  _ feeding _ the kid properly.

_ Great. _

Before taking a seat, you approached the boy with a smile. The entire class was watching but… well, he  _ was _ still a student and you hadn’t been properly introduced.

“Hey there, you’re Itona, huh? Your guardian said good things about you. Welcome to our class. I’m Mx. Reader, your Health Education teacher.”

He looked up at you.

You’d thought Nagisa’s eyes were intense.

This kid was on a whole other level.

He stared at you, blankly, for a moment, then tilted his head just a bit, “I won’t need your help, you can go.”

_ Y i k e s. _

You straightened awkwardly and glanced at the class. Their looks told you that this had basically been their experiences of the day. 

Pulling up a chair, you took a seat at the cluster of desks where Okano, Isogai, Maehara, and Kataoka were camped out. Okano gave you a tense smile.

Okay, this was a bit ridiculous. He was just a kid… 

You looked his way and couldn’t help but notice the gaping hole in the wall behind him, hastily patched with corrugated metal siding.

Yep… _ just a kid. _

God, what could be done about that wall?

“He’s definitely got Korosensei’s sweet tooth.” It was Maehara who spoke, his voice hushed.

“And his expression is hard to read, too.” Isogai responded.

You glanced back at Korosensei… who was also having snacks for lunch.

Jeez, is that what he ate when you two weren’t eating together?

He shifted his focus from Itona to his desk and you turned back to the kids.

“Well, his guardian claims we’ll know for sure after school.”

Kataoka looked to you, “Did he say anything else?”

“Apparently he’s ‘top secret’.” you made a face, “Shiro has spent his whole time here just reading manga though.”

“What?” Okano looked over.

“Yeah. He’s pretty tight lipped about the whole thing.”

You heard Korosensei muttering to himself behind you.

“They both like big boobs!” it was Okajima… no surprise there. But what was he… 

You followed his gaze. Both parties in question were holding the same pin up magazine. Itona glanced up at Korosensei then turned his attention back to his magazine.

The octopus caught your eye and looked incredibly unnerved, tucking the magazine away. You chuckled and just shook your head.

“All boob men are brothers!” Okajima burst out.

Ah yes… the perfect method of genetic testing.  _ Body preference. _

It was Kayano that addressed the question on your mind, “Here’s the thing, if they really are related wouldn’t Korosensei know about it?”

“Well… not necessarily... I bet it went like this.” Fuwa tapped the table with a copy of Shonen Jump, “They both came from a royal cephalopod family in a far off land.”

_ Doubtful. _

“There was a war and the enemy was about to storm the castle so the King arranged for them to escape.”

_ What? _

“They had to cross a river but Korosensei was injured and knocked into the water. He told Itona that he would have to forget about him and try to live.”

You tried not to laugh into your bento over the concept.

“Over time they forgot what each other looked like and are destined to fight when they meet again not realizing they are brothers!” Fuwa looked around her table for opinions.

“Okay… but why’s the little brother human?” Kayano was just staring at Fuwa at this point.  _ Most  _ of her table was.

“That’s easy. Genetic mutation.” Fuwa responded.

“You’ve totally glossed over the core issue here!” Kayano protested.

Hara jumped in as well, “You have massive plot holes Fuwa. And you need to work harder on your characterization.”

“Hey! I’m just trying to create something here!” Fuwa’s objection was drowned out by the other two girls.

“Yeah, this is a real story with a real plot not a fairy tale!”

“Realism is your friend!”

You glanced at the new student. Itona seemed largely unaffected by the ruckus, paying more attention to his pin up magazine than the girls’ bickering about his origins. You tucked back into your bento. At this point the kids were openly speculating about the situation. Korosensei, meanwhile, was leaning on his podium, petulantly snacking away.

Oh you couldn’t  _ not _ take the opportunity. You smirked over at him, “At least she made you a prince?”

He seemed startled, not expecting your comment. Then he chuckled, “Well,  _ obviously. _ ”

“So… a little brother, huh?”

“I’m not sure why he’s claiming kinship but I can assure you, we’re certainly  _ not  _ related.” He took a particularly vicious bite of his chocolate bar.

You scooted back a bit from the table, looking up at him, “Do you think it’s brainwashing?”

“That’s one possibility.”

You really didn’t care for the government’s trends in how they were handling these students…

The one silver lining you could think of with all of this is that, perhaps, you wouldn’t have to worry about tonight’s movie night.

Though… that wasn’t exactly a comfort at the moment.

The next two periods seemed to fly by and as the bell rang for the last time that day, Shiro stood, clapping his hands together, “Well then,  _ shall we? _ ”

He headed across the hall. You, Karasuma, and Irina exchanged glances before following. You had a first aid kit tucked under one arm, just in case.

The classroom was swiftly rearranged, all desks facing inward to form a circle. You’d seen this used before for the purposes of discussion in classrooms but never for a cage match fight.

First time for everything you supposed…

In the center of the classroom stood Korosensei and Itona. The boy dramatically whipped off his jacket.

Irina crossed her arms next to you, “This place looks like an arena.”

Karasuma nodded, “Yeah, fit for an honest death match. I’ve never known anyone to go about an assassination like this.”

“How many assassinations have you  _ seen _ exactly?” you glanced at him.

“Enough to have experience.”

Ohhhkay then.

You attention was pulled away by Shiro’s smooth, friendly voice, “Surely by now you’re tired of clunky, overly complicated attempts on your life, Korosensei. So let’s confine ourselves to one rule. Stepping foot outside of the ring means that your life is forfeit. Agreed?”

You could overhear Sugino scoff, “Like the loser’s going to stick to that rule.”

“But  _ we _ know about the rule now.” Karma looked over at him, “Korosensei’s all about how we see him, remember? He’ll abide by it out of a sense of honor because otherwise we’d lose trust in him as a teacher. That kind of restriction works especially well with him.”

Korosensei looked up, his focus on Shiro, “Very well, I accept your rule. But let’s include another, injuring any spectators also counts as a forfeit.”

“Agreed.” Shiro’s voice was calm, it hadn’t lost it’s honeyed tones completely but the bitterness was beginning to seep through, “Commence on my signal.”

He raised his hand above his head, “Assassination...” he brought it down, “Begin!”

With a downswing of his arm, so came something else, slicing through Korosensei’s arm where it fell lifeless to the ground. What had-

Your eyes settled on Itona.

He stood still on his side of the ring. Whipping around dangerously from his scalp were long, gray, tentacles.

What  _ the hell _ had they done to this kid?

Shiro stood off to the side, arms crossed, looking pleased with himself.

“Impossible!” Korosensei’s hushed exclamation was so far from his usual tone that it took you a moment to realize he’d said it. There was a quiver in his voice, a rising tide of emotion, “He has...”

“Itona’s hair-It’s tentacles!” Nagisa’s voice cut through the sound of wind whipping past Itona’s newly revealed appendages. It seemed to loosen the tongues of the other students who began to gasp whispered words of shock.

“How is this possible? Where?! Where did you get those tentacles?” for the second time you saw Korosensei’s face, black and taut, teeth bared in a grimace more than a grin. His voice was filled with a rage you had never heard from him.

If it had been your first month here you’d have been terrified of him.

Instead, you found yourself terrified  _ for _ him.

“We’re neither at liberty or obligated to say.” Shiro’s honeyed tone was back, “But I hope this serves to convince you: You may have come from different parents, enjoyed different upbringings, but nevertheless you are indeed brothers.” he gave a slight laugh, “My my, what a  _ scary _ face you’re making. Does this encounter stir up  _ unpleasant _ memories, perhaps?”

“ _ Clearly _ , you and I need to have a little talk.” Korosensei’s voice was dark and filled with violence. His arm regenerated with a spatter on the floor.

You thought you'd been on edge with the last bet, but this had you terrified. 

What if he lost?

What if this was it?

You hadn't had time to prepare…

“Not possible. You’ll be dead.” Shiro lifted his arm and a ray of light shone from his sleeve.

Korosensei gasped, his body going rigid. Itona moved to strike and he dodged away.

Shiro spoke as if he were strolling through a garden and not refereeing a death match, “Exposure to this pressure ray at close range triggers a dilatancy reaction in your cells which will cause your body to momentarily become solid. We know every one of your weaknesses.”

There was a crash as Itona’s tentacles launched themselves at Korosensei.

Oh… oh god…

“Did he get him?”

“No, look up!” Terasaka nodded to where their teacher was hanging by one arm from the light fixture. Below, Itona’s tentacles had impaled something that looked like a husk… 

“Shedding your skin. That’s right-you had that trick up your sleeve.”

You remembered Karasuma mentioning it before. It was bizarre to see it in practice.

Shiro continued, “But, Korosensei this comes with a price... _ doesn't it? _ ”

Itona flailed his tentacles in Korosensei’s direction, knocking him back to the floor where he skittered back, dodging the attacks frantically.

“Molting costs you dearly in terms of energy. Therefore, the speed you’re so proud of drops immediately afterward.” Shiro sounded so  _ casual _ about all of this, “You are, of course, still unbelievably fast by human standards but  _ fatally _ slow against tentacles.” this was punctuated by pained sounds as a few of Itona’s tentacles found their mark, “Plus, you’ve grown back that arm Itona lobbed off in his initial attack. That’s even  _ more _ energy you’ve lost. By my calculations, at the moment this makes the two of you a fairly even match for one another.” 

You watched, anxious, as the pair darted about the ring of desks. Korosensei always dodging but just barely. Itona always advancing.

_ Please, don’t die… _

You remembered being pressed to his chest, tears in your eyes.

_ “Someone will, eventually, Reader. It’s best to understand that now” _

You didn’t think it would be so soon...

“Using one’s tentacles effectively calls for a great deal of mental stamina, too. You lose control of your tentacles when you get too flustered. Itona's surprise threw you and you don't have the time or space to calm down and pull yourself together. I'm sure it's  _ crystal clear  _ to your students who has the upper hand now. Furthermore, he has the help of his devoted guardian.”

Shiro raised his hand again, the beam illuminating Korosensei. He froze, trembling. Itona launched himself skyward and came down, slashing through Korosensei’s legs.

You watched as your friend dropped to the floor, panting with exertion. Two of his legs liquifying on the floorboards.

Shiro laughed, “Now you’ll have to grow back your legs, too. That’s an even bigger energy deficit.”

Itona approached and you found yourself holding your breath. The boy stared down at his would be teacher, “That was easier than I thought. Look at you. Not so tough now, huh?”

Korosensei rose up as his legs regenerated, regaining his footing. 

Shiro’s smug cheer resounded again, “Oh  _ good _ , your legs have regenerated. Feeling ready for the next onslaught?”

The octopus looked up, leveling his gaze at the boy and his caretaker, “No one's ever run me this ragged before. At first this seemed like a straightforward face-off, but it appears to have all been carefully calculated. There's quite a bit more strategy afoot than I'd expected.” he began to circle the ring, Itona doing the same, he appeared to… crack his knuckles? You had no idea how that worked with tentacles but you really didn’t have time to consider it further, “I have  _ so many questions _ for the pair of you, but if I don't win this first, there'll be no more talking for me.”

“Still think you can win?” Shiro was amused, “You’re the under-octopus in this fight, you know. Your confidence doesn't strike you as misguided?”

Straightening, Korosensei extended a hand to point at the white robed figure, “Mr. Shiro, for all your planning, there's  _ one thing _ you don't seem to have taken into account.”

“Not likely. My methods are impeccable. No detail is overlooked, no angle is unconsidered. My calculations are perfect.” the honey was barely there, bitterness overflowed this cup, “ _ Kill him, Itona. _ ”

Itona leapt again, his tentacles rocketing towards Korosensei-

The boy jumped back, tentacles liquifying and falling to pieces.

What had-

“What do we have here?!~” oh… boy, you knew that particular tone, Korosensei’s eyes were narrowed, staring at Itona, “ _ You seem to have stepped on something. _ ”

On the floor, in the sizable portion of crushed floorboards, was one of the rubber knives.

You’d never been so happy to see one of the damn things.

Korosensei tossed his molted skin over the boy, whisking him up into the air in an untidy bundle, “If we truly have the same tentacles then an anti-me blade works just as well on yours as it does on mine. And regeneration takes just as much a toll. I’m a little craftier than you, Itona. You may be exceptionally strong, but I’m exceptionally  _ clever _ .”

He reeled back and flung the boy. The student went crashing through the window, rolling into the grass outside.

“Don't worry, children, he's fine. My old skin kept him perfectly safe. Technically though, Itona, you  _ are _ outside the boundary which means _ I win _ .” green stripes decorated his face

_ Fuck he was cool. _

You thought the mascot-looking octopus teacher was cool…

He looked out the window at Itona who was unwrapping himself and sitting up. The boy looked dazed.

“According to the rules, you have to be executed. Of course, given the nature of my contract with the government and my own feelings as a teacher, I wouldn’t  _ think _ of doing such a thing. It does mean no more trying to kill me with your guardian’s help. If,  _ however, _ you'd like to stay, perhaps learn a thing or two along with the rest of the class, we'll welcome you with open arms. Bear in mind, what you learn here is something that can't easily be measured by crunching numbers. I've lived a little longer than you, and come to know a little more. You are a gifted young man, but I am richer in  _ experience _ . I became a teacher because I wanted to pass that on to you all. The way to assassinate me isn't by honing in on my weaknesses but by absorbing my lessons and learning from my experience.”

_ No, fuck it, he was absolutely cool. _

And he was  _ alive _ .

“Are you saying that I’m never gonna be strong enough to beat you? You think that I’m  _ weak?! _ ” the boy was climbing to his feet, eyes wide.

The kid looked…

God, the last time you’d seen a face like that was on a guy in the ER hopped up on PCP. Not the kind of expression you wanted to see on  _ a middle school student _ .

Shiro’s voice sounded from the front of the classroom, “Oh no, Itona is not a fan of being lectured to. If Korosensei continues to lord his knowledge over him,  _ genocide _ is in the air.”

The boy screamed, his tentacles going black.

Not good.  _ Definitely _ not good. The kids around you sounded anxious as well.

“Black tentacles?”

“Oh crap he’s gone off the deep end.”

“Damn, he looks pissed!”

“I AM STRONG! THESE TENTACLES MADE ME STRONGER THAN ALL THE REST! THEY ASSURE MY VICTORY OVER EVERYONE!  _ EVERYONE! _ ” he hurled himself forward, back through the window. Korosensei took a step back.

There was a sharp recoil and Itona hit the floor, a tranquilizer dart sprouting from his neck. Shiro had his arm up, the smoking barrel of a gun peeking from it.

“Apologies, Korosensei. My hot-headed ward isn’t exactly prime classroom material at the best of times. Clearly, he was not mentally prepared for school.” Shiro approached the boy, hefting him over his shoulder, “It’s not lost on me that this is his first day, but he’s going to require some time off.”

“ _ Excuse me _ , I can’t let you walk out of here with him. He’s my student. Until graduation, his well-being falls on  _ me _ . And  _ frankly _ , I also have a lot of questions to ask you, Mr. Shiro. ”

“Yeah, no. We’re leaving. Unless you care to use force?” Shiro’s tone was dismissive but amused.

Korosensei turned to grasp the man’s shoulder and hissed as his hand melted on contact.

“Anti-sensei fibers. You literally can’t touch me.” he glanced back, “And I have no intention of being restrained by  _ you _ .”

There was something in his statement. Something personal and dark. There was no honey to smooth this over. Only bitter malice.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back before long, Korosensei. After all, March _ is _ just around the corner.”

It’s the middle of June. What the fuck did he mean by that?

“In the meantime, _ I’ll _ take responsibility for his well-being. The task of tutoring him is mine.”

With that said, Shiro moved to leave. You were tired of this man and his false cheer. You might not have a say in the death of Korosensei, but this was one of  _ your _ students and  _ something _ was clearly wrong with him.

You stepped in front of him, “Sir, that child is a student of this class and frankly, as his Health Education teacher I have some concerns about your ability to care for him.”

He seemed almost amused as you stood in front of him, “I assure you, I’m more than qualified to handle him. Probably more so than  _ you _ .”

“Is it common practice to use a  _ tranquilizer _ on a child in your care where you’re from then?” you took a step closer, leaning in to look deeper into his hood, “That boy isn’t leaving this schoolhou-”

You were shaken out of your threat by Karasuma taking hold of your arm, pulling you to one side.

“Thank you.” Shiro chuckled, “Quite a feisty one you’ve got there. I would keep an eye on them. Wouldn’t want any harm to come to the children’s caretaker, after all.”

Karasuma gave him a nod. Shiro made his exit and you yanked your arm from his hand, “What was that about?!”

“Mx. Reader.” you didn’t give a damn about his  _ Look _ right now.

“No, what-”

“Not here.” he glanced at the students who seemed uneasy.

You stormed out of the classroom. Karasuma followed you. The second the door closed on the faculty lounge you rounded on him, "Since when is the government in the business of  _ child soldiers?! _ "

Karasuma turned to look at you, "What do you think this class  _ is _ , Mx. Reader?"

"There is a difference between our students and that boy and  _ you know it _ . What have they done to him? Are they doing it to other people? Is that what this whole thing is about?"

"That's above my paygrade." his tone was clipped, terse. He was  _ not _ pleased with you.

You didn’t care.

" _ How can you be okay with this? _ "

"The government sees it as a reasonable solution. Sure, one child's life is being altered but if it will keep the planet from being destroyed then it's worth it. Governments tend to think in the big picture because they have to."

"Well, they're  _ wrong _ ."

His voice changed, now it was all hard edges and sharp points, "I suggest that if you want to keep your position here you don't say that too loud."

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from responding.

You could find another job, sure.

But you had kids in your care and you were a part of all of this now, like it or not.

And you certainly weren’t leaving.

“At what point...” you took a breath, “At what point will it be too much?”

“In exchange for the world?” he looked at you, “I don’t think there’s a limit on that.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree then.” you said quietly.

“I’m not any more happy about it than you are, Mx. Reader.” he leaned against the wall, “But it is what it is. This is the position we’re in now and this is the best we can make of it.”

“What happens to that boy if everything goes sideways?”

“Same thing that will happen to the rest of us, I imagine. If everything fails, the world ends.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“The boy isn’t our concern right now, Mx. Reader. We just have to wait on that front.” he moved to leave and patted you on the shoulder, “I’ll keep an ear out for you if it bothers you that badly. Anything I can tell you about his condition I’ll pass along.”

“Thanks...”

He left you alone with your thoughts.

You sank into a chair, unable to stand any longer. Your legs were weak. The adrenaline had run its course and you were wiped in the wake of it.

And to think… you’d started off the morning worried about movies.

You highly doubted that was happening now. Running your hands over your face, you sighed and pushed yourself to your feet, heading back to the classroom.

When you came in, you found the kids moving the desks back to their places. Yada looked up at you with a small smile, “Hey, everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine… uh...” you looked over to the classroom’s teacher who was sitting with his face buried in his hands. Damn… did the fight get him that worked up?

“Hey, Okano?” Kataoka looked over, “What’s up with Korosensei?”

“Dunno, he’s been like that since the battle.” Okano gave a shrug, scooting one of the chairs in.

“How embarrassing...” you heard him mutter, “I’m ashamed that you all had to see that serious side of me. I want you all to think of me as comic relief!”

“You sure did get melodramatic.” Hazama said, imitating him. “Where did you get those tentacles?!”

“Please don’t rub it in, Hazama! Just hearing those words again makes me want to curl up and  _ die! _ ”

“I mean, if you’re looking for an easy assassination attempt there you go.” you chuckled. In the wake of the adrenaline, relief was kicking in and seeing him back to his more ridiculous persona put you at ease.

Hazama chuckled at that, “Clearly.”

“Mx. Reader! Don’t give them any ideas!” his voice hitched upward with alarm.

His face was still buried in his hands, a blush coloring his cheeks.

God dammit, he was being adorable again. This was going to kill  _ you _ .

This whole school year was going to kill you.

“I’m evasive and mysterious but I’m also amusing. That’s my schtick! Revealing a serious side breaks my character! It’s so humiliating...”

_ This _ was who you’d thought was cool less than a half hour ago.

“I can’t believe you’re so calculating about your image...” Kimura said awkwardly.

Sugino scoffed, “You dissecting your character type is what’s humiliating.”

Irina stepped up beside you, “What a day, huh?”

You gave a nod, “You said it.”

“Who’d have thought that kid had tentacles too?” she looked over at Korosensei, opening the floor for him to answer.

He removed his hands from his face and looked up at the classroom.

Isogai stepped forward, “Level with us, sir. What’s up?”

“Who were those two?” Okajima was leaning on a desk, watching the octopus closely.

Hiyami’s eyes narrowed, “You've always dodged questions about your true form… So no sidestepping the issue like you normally do! We all have a right to know.”

“After seeing all of that, we think you owe us some answers.” Sugino crossed his arms, staring down their teacher.

“Students have to trust their teachers, right? So, don’t we have a right to know you better? If you can't open up to us, what're we here for?” Kataoka’s pose was stiff and formal but her tone was gentle.

Korosensei stood, looking over the lot of them, “Very well. I suppose the time has come to tell you the truth. The whole truth.”

Were you all about to get some answers?

_ Shit _ , you’d left your journal in the Faculty Lounge.

“In reality your teacher…” the class waited with bated breath as he dramatically pointed to himself, “ _ Is an artificially created life form! _ ”

The children simply stared at him for a moment.

“Yeah. And?” Okano shrugged.

“And?! What do you mean 'And'?! Don't you find that a shocking confession?!” 

The kids looked between each other, clearly unimpressed with his revelation.

Okajima scratched the back of his head, “Well, like, no natural-born octopus can move at Mach Twenty!”

“And you ruled out alien by insisting you’re from Earth so that’s about the only explanation left...” Hara nodded.

“Also, Itona claimed to be your younger brother, so we figure you were created in the same way as him, only earlier. How else could you be related?” Kataoka put her hands on her hips, looking him over.

Nagisa stepped forward, “What we want to know is what happened  _ after _ , Korosensei. Why did you get so bent out of shape when you saw Itona's tentacles? We’ve seen you mad but never  _ that _ mad. Does it have something to do with why you were created in the first place? Why  _ were _ you created? And why have you come to E Class?”

Seems like the kids had been pondering the same things you had in your spare time. You were a bit surprised they hadn’t come to you much about it. You’d have to ensure they knew your doors were open.

You might not be involved in the assassination but you still wanted to be there for them.

“All very good questions. Too bad they won't matter. After all, what difference does it make? If I destroy the Earth, everything you want to know will be reduced to space dust swirling in the place where Earth used to be.” his grin deepened and eyes narrowed, a sinister tone creeping into his voice, “On the other hand, if you can save the Earth, you'll have plenty of opportunities to learn the truth after. Understand? If you want to know more, you only have one option: Kill me. Assassin and target. Those are the ties that bind us together in this classroom. If you're looking for the big answers in me, you can only ask them through assassination. Nothing comes from nothing, boys and girls. If you want answers, work for them! Show me what you've learned. Now, if we're done giving yours truly the third degree... class dismissed.” he made his way to the door dramatically. As he ducked through it, you saw him cover his face in embarrassment.

The kids looked between one another, unnerved. Eventually it was Nagisa that spoke up, “...I don’t want anyone else to kill him.”

“So it’s not just me, it doesn’t feel right if someone else does it, yeah?” Isogai looked over at him.

“It should be us.” Mimura nodded.

“We need to work harder.” Yada said quietly.

The room, interestingly enough, felt very hopeful. You looked around at them, “Then you know what you need to do.”

Hiano looked your way.

“You’re all talented and you’ve proven you can work together to use your talents in coordinated efforts.” you put your hands on one of the desks. You didn’t want him to die. But this was how this classroom operated and this was part of your job…

“So, acquire new skills and strengthen the ones you have. Then work on a plan that can incorporate them together. You’ve gained new information today and seen him in action. I’m sure you’ve learned things from that.”

They looked amongst themselves. Nagisa nodded, “We’re up to nineteen known weaknesses now.”

“And look what Itona did while only using what? Four?”

Maehara nodded. Kataoka turned to the class, “Let’s see if Mr. Karasuma would be willing to give us some additional lessons.”

The class agreed wholeheartedly and made their way outside. Irina looked over at you, raising an eyebrow, “I thought you were a pacifist...”

“ _ God _ , yes, I am.” you turned to her, “But helping out is part of my job. I’m just not trying to kill him  _ myself _ .”

She shifted her weight, one hand going to her hip, “... it is kinda fucked up what they're doing to that kid, right?”

_ Thank god _ someone agreed.

You nodded, “I wish we could do something about it.”

She shrugged, “Maybe we’ll get a chance, who knows.”

“I wonder how he ended up there… I mean, surely his parents didn’t sign him up for that.”

Irina’s expression darkened, “He might not have any.”

You remembered Lovro’s story about meeting her.

Ouch.

You sighed, steering the topic away from that particular subject by turning your attention to the gaping hole in the wall, “What are we going to do about the classroom?”

“Karasuma said something about making arrangements for it.”

“So… no AC, the roof leaks, but at least they won’t let the place get demolished I guess.”

She gave a harsh laugh, “Right? Anyway, I need to get going. See ya.”

And she headed out the door.

Leaving you alone in a classroom with gaping holes in the walls and floors.

What a day…

You headed back to the faculty lounge, you had some notes to update...

You’d stayed later than you expected to. The students had cleared out and Karasuma and Irina were nowhere to be seen. You had finished up your notes and were packing things up to go when Korosensei arrived.

"Are you ready to watch some movies, Mx. Reader?" He was standing in the doorway, grin ever present, not looking remotely harmed from the day’s events.

It wasn’t much of a comfort, having seen what had happened.

You picked up your bag, “Are you sure? Things were… pretty intense today…"

He chuckled. His voice was back to it’s usual high spirits, "Doesn't that make it the perfect time to relax?"

You considered this, "Touché…."

"You especially seemed like you could use it. You were  _ quite _ tense." Green stripes circled his head.

"Yeah? What about you with  _ 'Where did you get those tentacles? _ '" you smirked.

The stripes were gone replaced with a bright blush, " _ Reader! Not you too! _ "

You chuckled, "So... artificially created  _ huh? _ "

He glanced at you sidelong, "Yes… I thought that would come as more of a shock to the students."

"Than saying you're human?" you said it softly, just on the off chance that someone might hear.

He paused, looking at you for a long moment. "Both are true.”

"Yeah?"

He nodded but didn't say anything more on the topic. You wondered what made him this way. Why-

Wait-

"Does this mean Itona is going to turn into an octopus too?"

His response was far more grim than you expected, "I hope not… Though that would certainly be the least troubling outcome."

Oh.

_ Oh well, that was horrifying _ .

You pondered that statement as you both headed outside. 

"Would you like a lift home? I'll have to pop out for something after "

"That would actually be great. I'll need like a half hour to make sure everything is ready, that okay?"

"Of course."

Shortly after, you were dropped off at your apartment and making your way upstairs.

That’s when it hit you.

Movie night was _ happening _ . You were going to be in close proximity to him in your apartment  _ again _ . 

After everything that had happened today, you thought this stupid crush nonsense would take a backseat.

But with the lack of adrenaline and action your body turned its attention to something else entirely.


	31. PLEASE PRESENT YOUR OCTOPUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working to get to chapters 31 and 32 for awhile because of plot developments so I hope you guys enjoy!  
> Illustrations to come!  
> [Korosensei's POV](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49011182)

__

_It was anxiety time._

The last time he'd been in your apartment you'd been sick and barely awake. Now you weren't just awake you were **Extra Awake** , wired out of your mind. You'd done a clean sweep on the place _three_ times and made sure you had snacks and movies ready. You could not stop looking for things to fix or make perfect.

This was ridiculous. He was a _coworker_ and a _friend_ and _an eight foot tall octopus_ . There was _no reason_ for this level of nervousness. Not this kind of nervousness. A normal person would be concerned he'd eat them or something _especially_ after today’s events. Meanwhile you were simply worried he'd be unimpressed with your movie choices or that maybe you'd touch hands while reaching for the popcorn bowl. 

_What a fucking joke._

You were halfway through reconsidering your movie choices _again_ when you realized you hadn't even put thought into what to wear. There you were still in the pajamas you'd thrown on when you'd gotten home. What the fuck do you wear for a movie night? You didn't know, you hadn't had a lot of them. As you moved to go change you heard a voice. It was coming from your phone…

“Mx. Reader, are you looking for something?”

Picking it up, you saw Ritsu on the screen.

“Um, no, I’m just uh… cleaning. Why are you on my screen again?”

“Oh, I thought that you might need assistance with something.”

“That’s very kind of you, Ritsu, but things are fine. Could you… maybe, I don’t know. Text or call before just popping in like that?”

“Sure thing! Why?”

“Well, it’s startling for one.” you chuckled, “But it’s also considered a little rude to just come over to someone’s place without announcing yourself and that’s sort of what it’s like when you pop onto my phone like that.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” her face lit up a bright pink along with a matching background.

You laughed, “It’s okay, you’re still learning. I’m going to be busy tonight but feel free to text me or something in the future, okay?”

She gave a happy nod, “Thank you!”

And just like that she was gone.

Yikes...

Okay. Time to change-

There was a knock at the door. _Fuck. Already?_

Opening it, you found yourself looking up at the bright yellow monstrosity that had been haunting your thoughts. He instantly perked up when he saw you, “Reader! I-"

He paused, staring at your shirt. You looked down, had you spilled somethi-

Oh. 

_Oh God._

"An _interesting_ fashion choice." he chuckled, eyes narrowing.

"It’s my pajamas…" you justified weakly.

You were not sure where to really begin to explain why you were wearing a shirt that said, in all caps, PLEASE PRESENT YOUR OCTOPUS.

"I didn't realize this was a pajama party! I'll have to change.~”

Before you could protest he had vanished and reappeared in his trademark rush of wind. He was now dressed in an old school nightshirt and cap. Okay well _this_ was happening now you guessed. You stepped aside letting him in. He beamed at you, "Now that I'm properly dressed let's start the popcorn!"

You couldn't help it, you smiled, "Well, I'm pretty sure you remember where everything is from last time."

He chuckled, "True, but it's nice to be here under better circumstances."

Better circumstances was an _interesting_ way to describe today’s events.

There was a pause and you saw him staring at your shirt again.

“Okay, _look_.” you held up your hands, “I think mistranslated shirts are hilarious. I’ve got friends that send them to me and I pick them up sometimes… I always end up using them as pajamas.”

His grin widened, green stripes decorating his face, “So the octopus was _just_ a coincidence?”

“I swear.” you laughed a little, “It’s apparently like a travel card to pay for transportation in Hong Kong?”

He nodded, “Oh, I’m familiar with it. Out of context, it _does_ make for an amusing shirt.”

He set himself to the task of making popcorn and you leaned against the wall, watching him, "So, what kind of movie do you want to start with? Action? Comedy?"

"I was thinking one with a good _romance_ , actually." he replied enthusiastically.

Oh.

_Great_.

You screamed internally.

"I think I have a few with romance plots hold on…"

You checked the selections you'd picked out. You'd _tried_ to hold off on romance films but two of these at least had decent subplots….

"Uhhh… animated or live action?"

"Either would be fine."

What might he like? You flipped through your movie choices, shaking your head. Looking over your DVDs you paused, tapping one.

Sort of educational, romance, with drama. Perfect.

"Have you ever heard of the movie The Wind Rises?"

He looked at you through the tiny opening between the kitchen and living room, “I've heard of it but I can't say I've had the pleasure of watching it. It's the story of Jiro Horikoshi, correct?"

"Yeah, it's by Studio Ghibli."

"That sounds delightful." He called over the escalating sounds of the popcorn he was preparing.

What a relief.

Now you just had to _survive_ the movie.

You popped in the DVD and rejoined him in the kitchen, grabbing drinks, "So, ready?"

He gave you a bright smile and a nod, popcorn bowl in hand. You made your way back to the living room. There, you curled up on the couch. He joined you, taking up the side next to the armrest. He was huge in your tiny apartment… and on your tiny couch. There was far less space between the two of you than you would have preferred.

Well, far less space than the _logical_ part of your brain would have preferred. The _other_ side of your brain would rather be snuggled up against him maybe holding han-

_Don't_ think about that, Reader, that is _not_ important.

You distracted yourself by passing him his drink and grabbing the remote.

“You’ve seen Ghibli films before yeah?”

He gave a nod, “A few. It’s an excellent studio.”

“I’ve always enjoyed them.” you smiled and started up the film.

The opening notes of the theme song put you at ease. Ghibli films were always a bit like coming home. A comfortable sort of accompaniment, like a mug of hot chocolate or tea. It settled your nerves.

If it weren’t for the company you were keeping it might have been any other night in...

"So, you should probably know ahead of time, this isn't very historically accurate. I looked it up after I watched it the first time. It's based on a manga that Miyazaki made which was based on the novel The Wind Has Risen. So, it's uh… not a hundred percent true to the facts. But it is a beautiful story I think." you took a sip of your drink.

“Of course! Historical fiction is often about conveying a sense of feeling more than just the facts.” he gave a nod, “But it’s always good to investigate the source of the story. It’s an _excellent_ way to learn.”

You noticed that, as Jiro’s mother mentioned that fighting was never justified, he glanced at you. The slightest of chuckles escaped him, “Tell me, Reader, is this choice meant to _illustrate a point_ about today’s events?”

You shook your head, “No, it just seemed like a good pick.”

You felt extra self conscious as the themes of pacifism picked up throughout the film. It hadn’t been your intention to showcase your uh… particular moral code but here you were.

He propped his chin on his hand and you could feel him looking at you on occasion when it was mentioned. You distracted yourself by stuffing your face with a handful of popcorn from the bowl perched between you. The surrealness of the day was slowly sinking in.

You’d seen a deathmatch today. A _deathmatch_.

And now you were sitting on your couch watching a movie like it was no big deal.

It was hard to equate the smiling, ridiculous creature on your couch with the one who had been so enraged earlier. 

You wanted to bring things up, address it…

But you felt like maybe the time for that had passed.

He seemed more than content to bask in the normalcy for the moment...

Maybe you should let him have that.

As the movie wore on you found yourself drifting a bit. You hadn't realized you were so tired and you’d forgotten how slow the plot was… between Ghibli’s beautiful animation, the tender soundtrack, and the adrenaline rush of the day you were beginning to fade out. Ultimately you lost to the pull of sleep, your eyes slipped closed and you drifted into slumber.

Your consciousness dipped in and out, sometimes you would dream, the sounds of the movie showing up in odd places. Other times you would be half awake, seeing blurry images on the screen through sleep addled eyes.

When you actually woke up you were snug and warm and something was gently shaking your shoulder. You cracked open an eye and looked up... right into your companion’s ever smiling face.

Sleep was still clinging to you so your thoughts were murky. You rubbed at one of your eyes.

"Reader, I _think_ it's about time we got you to bed…"

You sat up a bit. The DVD was back on the main menu.

You'd slept through _most_ of the movie.

Across your body was one of your light blankets. Your head had been resting on a pillow…

In his lap…

Well, you were _definitely_ awake now.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep on you, I-"

He chuckled, there was a tinge of pink in his cheeks, "Not to worry. We've had a very busy couple of weeks and a very exciting day. _Naturally_ you're tired. The movie was still quite enjoyable but perhaps it's best I let you get to bed, unless you'd rather this become a sleepover."

"If you want to crash here I don't mind."

The words were out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

_Why did you offer that?_

_What were you doing?_

_Why couldn't you turn off your damn auto pilot?_

He seemed surprised, if only for an instant. He chuckled, "I'll have to get my pillow then."

"Sure, I'll see what I can lay out for you…"

He gave a nod and vanished into the night off of your balcony.

Oh… god.

He was going to stay at your place.

He was going to _spend the night_ at your place.

Panic was kicking into high gear now. Did you even have enough space? The living room should be big enough right? Like, it wasn’t super huge but it should be enough to accommodate him...

He was back before you'd even moved for blankets.

Green stripes circled his face as he placed a bundle down on the couch, "I thought it might be appropriate to bring my own bedding, after all I'm not sure anything you have here will be large enough."

You gave a nod and gestured, "Is uh… is the living room good for you?"

His grin widened and he gave you a nod, "It will be perfect. _Now!_ " He clasped his hands together, "Off to bed with you."

As with when you had your cold you were steered to your bedroom by a tentacle. You climbed into your futon, wiggling down under the blankets. When you looked up, you saw that he had paused, staring at something…

Oh god.

_Thepostitnoteswerestillonthemirror_.

He gave a chuckle and looked over at you, green stripes firmly back in place. Your heart started pounding. You were in you room, in bed, with him looking over you with that goddamn smile. You felt like you could die.

"I'm happy that you found those so _inspirational_ , Reader." His tone pitched up, amused, "Or perhaps you just can't get enough of me."

"They're nice reminders in the morning. It helps me get ready for the day… " You half faked a yawn in an effort to hide your embarrassment.

"That's very touching."

His tone was gentle, genuine, warm. God he could talk to you like that all day… you'd never get tired of it.

He finally tore his eyes away from the notes. A hand reached out, tucking the blankets up over your shoulders before patting your head gently 

You were going to _die_.

This was too much. Inside you own home in this intimate cozy setting it was just overwhelming…

"Sleep well, Reader."

"You too." You peeked back at him over the edge of the blankets.

There was a softness to his face. His skin pink. You told yourself it was probably because he was tired. He turned pink when he was tired, it wasn't only when he was flustered. You didn't need to overthink it… 

He slid your door closed and you heard him settling in on the floor of your living room.

You thought you'd been _Extra Awake_ before, but now?

You had never been more awake in your whole _life_.

No _human being_ had _ever_ been this awake before.

There was _no way_ you were going to be able to sleep.


	32. Secrets and Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Also a reminder that the playlist is updated with each chapter!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3EfiMY17N1VdJCetnDGzrC?si=awmp2Zw6QZSDwQGZI4Q7IA)   
>  [Korosensei's POV](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49011317)

You looked over at the wall that your bedroom shared with the living room. He was _right there_ . Literally in the next room. And it made your stomach squirm and it was stupid and you hated it. You weren't thirteen why was this happening? You covered your face with your hands. You were an _adult_ . This should be _fine_ . This should be _manageable_. Instead you were lying here staring at your bedroom ceiling writhing in nervous energy because your crush was in the next room asleep.

You took a breath, letting it out slowly.

You were an _adult_ . You had a _friend_ staying in the next room. This was _fine_ . This was _perfectly platonic_ and the only weird thing was that he was an octopus.

It's not like he was going to ask to sleep with you or you were being forced to share a bed. This wasn't _fanfiction_ for chrissakes.

You rolled over, pulling the blankets up further around you. According to your annoyingly bright alarm clock, it had been an hour since you'd both turned in. You had to at least _try_ to get some sleep tonight.

Then your phone chimed.

You picked it up and squinted against the glare of the light.

One new text message.

From 🐙🎓

Your whole stomach flipped and you looked over your shoulder at your door then back at the phone.

[Can't sleep either?]

You were going to scream.

[How did you know?]

[I heard you tossing and turning.]

Great.

You were never getting to sleep like this. It was impossible. Every bit of you was charged with electricity, you might as well have been a battery.

[You were certainly out during the movie. Is something on your mind?]

_Fuckfuckfuckfuck_

You held your thumbs over your keyboard, considering what to write. Part of you wanted to say it. Just rip off the band-aid already…

Another part of you found that terrifying.

That part won.

_Keep it to yourself, don't get your hopes up, say nothing._

[Why do you want to blow up the Earth anyway?]

Radio silence.

_Oof._

Maybe not your _best_ conversation starter...

After a few moments of tense waiting your phone buzzed again.

[Just like my tragic backstory, that is -also- a secret.]

You sighed. _Of course_ he wouldn't answer that.

[Just know that I have my reasons and that they are important. But not as important as my current work.]

You tried to decide how to respond.

[And know that my motives have nothing to do with the class.]

His motives had nothing to do with the _class?_ Then… why was he teaching it? The phone buzzed once more.

[Reader? Did you fall asleep?]

Well… that would be an easy out…

You couldn't do it though.

Hell, if nothing else he could probably _hear_ you being awake.

[No, I'm here.]

[Would you like me to fix breakfast tomorrow?]

That sounded fun. Adorable. You did want that.... 

But right now there was something you wanted more…

_Keep it to yourself, don't get your hopes up, say nothing._

[Sure.]

You paused, looking at your phone, brain skidding about. Should you just say goodnight? Try to sleep?

The phone buzzed once more before you could decide.

[You know, this -is- a sleep over and late night chats are part of the custom. If you can't sleep, you're more than welcome to join me out here. I'm sure the couch is suitably comfortable given how you were sleeping on it before.]

Ahahahahhahahhahahahaha _ohgod_???

God was punishing you for something wasn't he?

You got up.

What were you _doing?!_

You picked up your pillow and blanket.

Oh god, _what were you doing?_

You opened the door and stepped out into the living room.

You could see his head, a halo of light around it as he stared at his phone, his back to you. Carefully padding across the floor, you put down your pillow and curled up on the couch. He shifted, turning to look at you. His grin widened, "I thought perhaps you couldn't sleep because you were lonely."

"I wasn't lonely." You grumbled, "It was just really warm and comfortable on the couch before."

"You mean when I was there.~" he teased, the green stripes showed up as dark bands in the thin light. Was it your eyes or were they rolling up and down?

With a yawn you chuckled, "I mean I guess you do make a good portable heater."

There was a look on his face. You couldn't quite place it. His expressions were often subtle. It was…

Sadness? Fondness? 

You weren't sure.

"I'm certainly glad of that."

He grinned wider, his mood shifting.

"How exciting! We can stay up late and talk about the boys we like.~" he sounded positively gleeful.

"You like boys?" You raised an eyebrow.

"I have my preferences but I am a man of many vices." His grin deepened and his eyes narrowed.

Hoookay that was doing concerning things to you. Thank God it was dark and he couldn't see the blush spreading through your cheeks.

You hoped.

"So, is it _true_ that you don't like anyone?"

You laughed, "Not this _again._ "

You could hear the waver in your voice. He clearly picked up on it too, his voice hiked up slightly, "So you _doooo_ like someone." He propped his chin up on his hands, green stripes decorating his face with gusto, "It's Karasuma, isn't it?"

You snorted, " _God_ , no."

"Irina?"

"No."

”I see. You've fallen _hopelessly_ for my charms."

You laughed, his absolute hamming it up gave you the opportunity to avoid it, "Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Gossip is a hobby of mine. Not to mention it's fun watching you squirm."

Ohhh God. Ohgod? Ohjesusmaryandjoseph. That tone and phrasing hit spots of you you were _not_ expecting. Your laugh was nervous, you covered your face, "I've changed my opinion."

"Oh?"

"You're not going to mother us to death, you're going to embarrass us to death!"

"So, there _is_ a secret crush is there?"

_Why? God, why?_

"I didn't say that."

"Yes, but you _do_ seem very flustered."

You huffed, "And what about you? Met any hot single cephalopods in your area recently?"

"Mmmmm" he hummed to himself, pulling out a package of Pocky and offering you one before taking one himself, "I have had my share of romantic endeavors in my time. None, however, with cephalopods."

"That didn't answer the question." You needled him, "I asked if you had met anyone _recently_."

He chuckled, eyes narrowing, "Why? Are you interested?"

"Why not? _You're_ interested in _gossip_."

He tipped his head, amused, "Very well then. I have not."

"So, when was the last time?~" you turned the teasing back on him. If nothing else you might get some info for your reports…

That's what you told yourself anyway...

"Oh… a few months ago." His tone was measured and casual. Not his usual at all.

That… that was a surprise.

" _Really?_ "

He gave a small nod. 

"What happened? Bad break up? She not digging the whole tentacle thing?" you joked.

He went quiet. His everlasting grin had no humor to it.

 _Fuck_.

"Sorry…"

"No need to apologize." His expression shifted, a tinge of something darker creeping into his features. It was hard to tell in the light but…

Was he turning blue?

"I lost someone shortly before I took up this teaching position. They meant a great deal to me. You could say they inspired me to become a teacher." His hands were folded on the floor, he wasn't looking at you anymore. Instead he was staring off into some dark corner of your apartment, unseeing.

"I didn't mean to bring up something painful." Guilt settled like a stone in the pit of your stomach. He'd been through a lot today already, you didn't want to add to that.

He gave the slightest of chuckles, a sad, quiet laugh full of unexpressed mourning. You noticed that he glanced over again at your shirt, his grin softening, "I think she would have _loved_ you."

You felt a little ridiculous but you sat up on the couch before sliding down onto the floor, blanket wrapped around your shoulders. 

What were you doing? This was stupid. It might upset him. It might cause problems. It might-

You wrapped your arms around him. 

The sound he made was one of surprise but after a moment, he wrapped you tight in his tentacles. The smell of old books and summer rain surrounded you. Neither of you moved, you simply remained embracing one another in the dark. He held onto you the way one might cling to a rock to avoid being swept out to sea. A shuddering sigh echoed from his lips and you squeezed him just a bit tighter.

Finally pulling away, albeit reluctantly, you took a seat next to him on the floor. Picking up a stick of Pocky, you held it out, "Tell me about her?"

There was a falter, then his expression softened and he accepted the offering, "Her name was Aguri."

You listened with rapt attention.

"She was kind and put her students first above all else. In a sense, she was my first teacher. Though I'm afraid I learned from her lessons far too late."

"So, she was a teacher too?"

He nodded, "A very determined one, at that." There was a familiar but rarely heard softness to his voice. In fact, the last time you'd heard it had been that day with the knives. "She was the sort of person to see the good in everyone." He rolled the Pocky stick between his fingers, his eyes focused on it instead of you, " _'Trust and appreciate those in your care or they won't succeed.'_ " 

His tone was sad and wistful, "That was her motto."

You thought back to when he had threatened leaving…

_"Then perhaps have more faith in them, Reader.”_

And again with the revenge plot…

_"A little trust and appreciation and they’re blooming beautifully…"_

He'd certainly taken her lessons to heart.

"May I… may I ask what happened to her?" You pulled your knees up to your chest, looking at him sidelong.

He looked over at you. The usual smile seemed grim, his eyes hollow.

“She died because of _my_ mistakes.”

The air was heavy between the two of you for several moments. The weight of the statement blanketed you both like a thick fog.

Shiro's honeyed words came to mind.

_"Does this encounter stir up unpleasant memories, perhaps?"_

Maybe this is what he meant or perhaps it was something else entirely. You only had the vaguest of ideas about your companion's background, after all...

He broke the spell by looking away and biting into his snack. His tone was lighter now, more hopeful, “It’s no good to dwell on it though. The best I can do is to continue teaching to the best of my abilities… It’s what she would have wanted.”

You chewed your lip slightly.

“I think she’d be proud of you.” You folded your arms across your knees, resting your chin on them, “You’re definitely the best teacher _I’ve_ ever met.”

His voice settled, the tone that made your heart ache was back, “Thank you, Reader... I certainly hope that she is.”

Your stomach yo yo-ed. You could _never_ tell him. Telling him about your feelings would only be a mistake… this pain still seemed fresh, like something that could hurt him deeper if you said anything. You didn’t want that. It was the last thing you would want.

But… maybe…

_Keep it to yourself, don't get your hopes up, say nothing._

You fiddled with the corner of the blanket, thinking. You wanted to help but what could you do aside from talk and listen? You couldn’t fix this. There was no fixing something like this. Your help would probably just make things wor-

Something soft and warm came to rest against the pulse of your neck. You looked down and saw a long yellow tendril gently laying against your skin.

“Reader?” You looked up. The blue was gone, the yellow was back, his smile more neutral than before, “Are you alright?”

If this had been an hour earlier you would have been a blushing mess but now…

“I’m okay… I just wish I could help.” you found your hand rising of its own accord, gently stroking the tentacle pressed to your neck.

There was the faintest of movements. A shiver? A flinch?

“You _have_ , Reader.” he gave a small chuckle, “I’ve not been able to tell anyone about this until now.”

“Wha-”

The tendril withdrew, “I’ve _noticed,_ ” he gave you a glance, “that you’ve been leaving _information_ out of your recent notes...”

 _Shit._ How had he known-

You sighed. The marked off sections. It wouldn't have been hard for him to notice that some parts weren't marked for reporting…

That also meant he'd checked your book again…

God dammit.

“It didn’t seem relevant.”

“It is and isn’t. _Normally_ , I would suggest you hand over anything to the government or the children since killing me is of the highest priority to them…”

You found yourself chewing your lip again.

“But for this...” he picked up another stick of Pocky, his tone softened into a gentle request, “I would appreciate it if you didn’t...”

You nodded slightly, “I can do that.” you paused, looking at him, “Today was… something.”

He nodded, his expression darkening just slightly, “It certainly was.”

He punctuated this by crunching into his stick of Pocky.

You scooted closer, just a bit, “You know… you said it wasn’t so bad, regenerating, but that looked pretty painful.”

He turned his attention to a box of MeltyKiss, opening them, "One gets used to it."

That did _not_ make you feel better.

"Hey…"

"Hm?"

You remembered the events of the day, your nerves going on edge again, "You're… You're okay, right?"

His expression softened, "Yes, Reader. I'm okay."

You let out a shaky sigh, nodding, "Okay…"

A weight draped across your shoulders. It was his arm.

"I'm not dead yet, Reader."

You gave him a smile and found yourself leaning against his side, "Good."

You remembered the student that had been carted away.

"Do you think Itona will be alright?"

"I hope so… Or Mr. Shiro will be answering to _me_." The harshness had edged back into his voice.

"At least let me get a kick in. That guy rubbed me the wrong way on so many levels."

"Nurufufufu~" he grinned down at you, eyes narrowing, "Coming from the resident pacifist, he must have rubbed you the wrong way _indeed_." 

"I don't like how he handled Itona…"

 _Or you._ You added silently

"That was _quite_ the show you made trying to face off with him. I'll warn you though, these people might not afford you the same protections as I would… be careful, Mx. Reader." His tone was softer than you expected.

You nodded, "I know… I just don't like the idea that he's treating that child like some kind of guinea pig."

You felt his eyes on you and looked up. He was staring intently.

"Not to worry. We'll get him back, Reader. I promise you that."

"...why _did_ his tentacles upset you so badly?"

He shook his head, a flicker of blue crossing his face, "It's nothing you need to worry yourself over."

"I still will."

"I know..."

You sat together in a comfortable silence. His arm draped around you, you leaning against his side. You reached over and stole a few candies from the box. Unwrapping one, you popped it into your mouth.

"Well,” he laughed slightly but the tone wasn't a happy one, “That was all a bit dark for a sleepover conversation I think.”

“Sometimes they’re like that.” you smiled a bit, “You know, as the Health Education teacher… if you need to talk, I’m here to listen.”

You offered him a MeltyKiss which he accepted, before tossing it, wrapper and all, into his mouth.

“I have to admit that I would like that.”

“If the government gives me trouble I could always tell them I have doctor patient confidentiality.” you smirked.

He chuckled, eyes narrowing. His arm playfully shook your shoulders, “A loophole, _how devious_.~”

“Well, if they can do it, why not me?”

“Thank you, Reader...”

His hand came to rest on yours, which had still been messing with the blanket. Your brain finally registered his closeness, breaking through the seriousness with a quickening of your pulse. You made the effort to ignore it. You smiled and took his hand, giving it a squeeze, “Anytime.”

“So, shall we both try to get some sleep?” he looked over at you.

“What? Done pestering me about my love life?”

“Oh, rest assured I can _certainly_ pester you further if you’d like.” he chuckled, eyes narrowing, "I'm sure you have plenty of juicy secrets I could get my tentacles in-er, on."

You laughed, “I mean if it would make you feel better then pester away!"

He chuckled, “Perhaps in the morning. Or maybe I’ll wait for you to sleep and go through your diary.”

“You better not.”

Green stripes covered his face, “Which means _you have one_.~”

_Fuck._

You pulled your hand from his and pointed at him, “You _better not_.”

“Hmmmm… it will certainly take a lot of willpower to resist.”

You huffed, “I won't bring you any more snacks.”

Panic set in on his features, “I was only _joking_!”

Laughing, you got to your feet, “Then don’t go looking for my diary.”

He looked up at you as you climbed onto the couch, curling up under your blankets.

“I promise you Reader, I won’t.”

"You know… you said something similar about my notes."

"Cross my heart and hope to die.”

"You are _literally_ asking people to assassinate you!" 

He chuckled, "Well then…"

One of his hands came into view, one finger outstretched, "Will this suffice?"

You laughed a bit and held up your own hand, hooking your pinky around it, "Yes.”

“Sweet dreams.~” the tentacle retreated back to the floor and you pulled the blanket up around your shoulders.

"Wait…"

"Hm?"

Should you ask?

Yes. Today had proven to you that if you had questions it was better to get the answers now. You felt that some things you wanted to know wouldn't be evident in the wake of his death.

"That… all that with the knives the other day..."

The darkness felt tense suddenly, his response was measured, "Yes?

"Why?"

The quiet that fell filled you with anxiety but you _had_ to know.

"Reader…"

His voice was… what was that? You looked down at him.

He sat up and like magic an anti-sensei knife appeared in his hand.

"What are you…"

He offered it to you, "I will stay still. You could end this now. Gain fortune and glory. The commendation of the government. Be a _savior_."

Oh, what _fresh hell_ was this?

After today? After _everything_ that had happened today?

Your response was anxious and immediate, bordering on anger, "Are you _crazy_ ? I'm not taking that thing. I already _told_ you I'm not here to assassinate anyone!"

His smile deepened just a touch, his eyes softening. The knife vanished.

 _"That's_ why." He laid back down.

Your heart was pounding. He… 

Oh…

_That's why..._

You bit your lip, smiling into the dark.

"Okay…"

"Sleep well, Reader."

"You too.” you pulled the blankets up higher around you.

As your eyes slipped closed, you could have sworn you felt something brush your hair back from your face. Consciousness faded, darkness swelled, and dreams took you back to the schoolhouse and the smile that had embedded itself in your life.


	33. Pancakes and Pulses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustrations to come!  
> Note about the song for this chapter: This chapter’s song is less about lyrics and more about the feeling the song has always given me. It’s a very chill song and reminds me of either late nights or early mornings.

You woke up to the smell of pancakes. It was early, earlier than you normally got up, sunlight just beginning to peek on the horizon, shining onto your balcony.

Why did you smell pancakes?

Why were you on the couch?

You yawned and your mind hauled last night's events out of the depths.

_ Oh. _

_ That's _ why you smelled pancakes…

You peeked over the armrest of the couch and spotted him shuffling about your kitchen, tentacles managing multiple tasks at once.

He was in your apartment.

He'd  _ spent the night _ at your apartment.

Details of last night came back to you and you buried your face in your pillow resisting the urge to scream.

He had  _ told _ you things about himself.

You'd  _ held his hand _ . 

Hell, you'd  _ practically snuggled. _

How the  _ fuck _ were you going to look him in the face?

Well… you couldn’t camp out on the couch all day, you both had work.

Oh god.

_ You had work. _

That thought got you to sit up. Time to face the music…

You gave him a sheepish wave as you entered the kitchen, "Good morning…"

He grinned over at you and you noticed a touch of pink in his cheeks, "Good morning!~ Breakfast is nearly ready.”

On the griddle small fluffy pancakes were cooking.

“I wasn’t sure how you prepare your coffee but the pot  _ should _ be ready.” 

“Thanks...” you ran a hand through your hair and inched around him carefully.

Your tiny kitchen was eighty percent occupied by octopus.

You found one of your instant drip packets and your mug and set about making your coffee. You definitely needed it, you’d been up _ far _ later than expected last night.

He bustled about, plating the food and moving it out to the table.

It was all so strangely  _ domestic _ .

“Did you want any coffee?” you asked, setting yours aside.

His face peeked in through the gap, “Ah, I would prefer tea if you wouldn’t mind.”

You gave a nod, “Sugar, I take it?”

“Of  _ course _ .” humor echoed in his voice.

You chuckled, sipping your coffee while the tea steeped.

This feeling… it was familiar. Early morning, dim light, warm bright kitchen…

It felt like home.

But, over top of that was another feeling, one you hadn’t felt in years.

It really  _ did _ feel like the morning after a sleepover. Seeing your friend operating casually in a space that was normally your own, watching the little aspects of what they did, and the ungodly early hour everyone woke up on days like this.

You were suspended between the familiar and unfamiliar.

And it was rather nice.

After prepping his mug, you joined him at the table.

Plated in front of you were thick, light pancakes topped with butter, syrup, and a dusting of powdered sugar.

“I’m starting to wonder if you should have been a chef instead of a teacher.” you smirked, passing him his tea.

He took the mug delicately, grin widening, “Well, I  _ do _ pride myself on my culinary skills.~”

The pancakes were more like souffle than anything else. Airy, light, and sweet.

He chuckled as you savored them, taking a bite of his own, “Good, yes?”

“Excellent.” you smiled, “Seriously, you could just run a shop.”

“I _ could _ … but then who will teach our students?”

“It’s a shame, the world will just have to go without I guess.” you gave a dramatic sigh, taking another bite.

He laughed.

Yesterday’s fight, the pain you’d seen him in, last night’s dark talk, it all just seemed to have dissolved.

_ Good. _

You liked seeing him happy.

You struggled to contain a yawn and took another sip of coffee, this caffeine needed to kick in soon…

“I apologize, Reader. I kept you up late.”

“I’m all grown up, I knew what I was signing up for.”

“ _ Did  _ you now?” he smirked.

“Okay… not _ really _ but I figured I’d be up late at least.”

"Thank you for the company by the way."

"So,  _ you _ were the lonely one last night, huh?" You smirked at him over your coffee cup.

"Perhaps a bit. I admit, it was lovely spending an evening with you."

You felt the blush rising in your cheeks.  _ He'd enjoyed your company? _

"Anytime. I'm not usually busy after work."

For once… it wasn't your autopilot talking. You had enjoyed last night, even with how awkward things had been. It had been nice… 

"I wouldn't want to impose."

"Is it really imposing if I invite you?" you smirked.

"I suppose not." he chuckled.

A silence settled between you. You found yourself locking eyes with him, "If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."

His expression didn't change but you could have sworn you saw him hesitate before his next sip of tea.

He set the cup back on the table, "Thank you for that, Reader."

You gave him a smile, "What're friends for?"

Was it just your imagination or had his grin dipped just slightly?

You didn't have time to think further on it as your alarm started up. With a sigh you picked up your phone. 

"Ugggh… I better grab a shower. Do you mind if I hitch a ride with you to work?"

"I had planned on it." green stripes decorated his face again, “Unless you wanted to fall asleep on the train, of course.”

You huffed, "Okay, hang on-"

As you moved to shut the alarm off you noticed your background had changed… again.

This time it was you curled up on the couch asleep with him grinning and shushing at the screen.

"Are you _ serious? _ "

He chuckled, "What? You fell asleep  _ on _ me I think it's only fair."

You rolled your eyes with a laugh and ducked back into your room to get your clothes ready for the day. Pausing by the mirror you ran a hand through your messy bedhead.

That's when you spotted a couple of new post-it notes.

The first listed Tomita Farm along with a date and time in July. This was rounded out with a question mark. Guess he'd figured out a day to possibly go… 

You'd have to check your calendar. You’d clear the day if needed. There was  _ no way _ you were missing that.

The next one echoed the message of last night back to you.

"I'm not dead yet and neither are you. Let's live life to the fullest! Remember: The wind is rising! We must try to live!”

The last one was simple. Far more simple than you expected from him.

"I am  _ very _ happy to have met you, Reader."

You were going to die. You hastily took your things to the shower as he tended to the dishes.

Wrapped in his robes, you watched the world pass by below you, “Hey… you think it’s gonna be awkward if anyone sees us show up together?”

His face went neon pink and he stammered, “Uh… well, if y-you’d rather I could always drop you off on the path instead! That way-”

You laughed, “I mean, sure, if you want.”

His voice was quieter when he replied, “That… might be for the best. We wouldn’t want you becoming a target too.”

You hadn’t considered  _ that _ .

Would that be a concern? Glancing up you could see that the pink had faded and he seemed a bit more serious than usual. 

Well shit, he seemed to think so.

Moments later you were deposited on the mountain path.

“Here's your bento.”

"Wha-"

"I took the liberty of packing one for you this morning." Green stripes, of course.

“Thanks. I totally forgot. Must have distracted by the octopus that was loose in my house."

He chuckled and then he was gone. You whipped out your umbrella and headed up the mountain, thinking that over.

You supposed it made sense, people close to him  _ would _ become targets.

That also meant the entire classroom was at risk.

Another uncomfortable thought.

What would you do if something like that happened? Your training on hostage situations was minimal at best. Paramedics dealt with those sorts of things at times but usually you’d been the clean up crew, coming in after the situation was settled.

_ It’s better to plan for what’s to come. Prepare. That is what will bring you peace. _

You had some studying to do, you supposed. Maybe Karasuma could help with that.

That was something you’d never have considered doing before this classroom.

There were a lot of things you wouldn’t have considered doing before this classroom.

Last night’s conversations came back to you.

_ That's why. _

It was  _ ambiguous _ , you told yourself.

He wasn't claiming to trust you. Maybe he just enjoyed baiting someone he knew would say no.

But if so…

Why tell you about her?

Why ask you to leave out information?

Why...

_ Don't get your hopes up. _

Remember the rules, Reader.

Taking a breath, you continued your trek up the path.

You’d just put your things down in the nurse’s office when you heard your name.

"Mx. Reader?" You looked up to find Nagisa standing in the doorway.

"Yes, Nagisa? Do you need some help?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine. I just wanted to bring you these." He approached the desk and held out his hands.

Four more cranes. Geometric shapes in shades of blue and green.

"Kayano roped you into it too, huh?" You chuckled, taking the cranes and poking them into the open spaces in the flock.

"Yeah, she's been  _ really _ into it. But it's fun, especially when we get to see how many we've made here."

"They're usurping my desk. We'll have to get them hung up properly soon… actually..." you picked up your post it note.

_ Total: 36 _

_ Left: 964 _

“With yours, we have forty. That’s one strand, right?”

He nodded, grinning, “That’s perfect. We could string them up for you after class if you want!”

You chuckled, "I would love that Nagisa, thank you."

After the boy had headed off to first period you pulled your notes, going over the lesson you had prepared for the day. With one hand you idly tossed your tennis ball up and down, letting it roll off your fingers and smack back into your palm. The motion was soothing and you were getting better at it. You didn’t drop it nearly as often and rarely missed a catch. The same couldn’t be said when someone threw one your way during drills but you had some hope that might change too… eventually.

Third period came around and you headed to the classroom, a bin under one arm. The students took their seats as you entered. Korosensei, as usual, didn’t leave the room. You were growing accustomed to his presence during your lessons but you’d never asked him why he sat in on them so frequently. You supposed it had something to do with that practice he’d mentioned before.

“Who remembers what we’re covering today?” you asked, placing the box on the podium.

“Splints!” it was a very energetic Hinano. You chuckled and nodded, turning to write it on the board.

“Okay, so, what is a splint used for? Hazama?”

The girl chuckled, darkly, “Strapping together broken bones.~”

You gave a nod, “Correct. Now, in what situations might you use a splint? Kimura?”

The boy gave a start, clearly not expecting to be called on.

“Uh… broken bones?”

You chuckled, “Yes, but give me a scenario. How might someone break a bone?”

“Falling?”

“Good.” you turned to the board writing it down, “Falling is a common way to break a bone. Any others? Anyone?”

“A good fight can do it.” Karma’s voice was full of smug experience.

“Mmmmhmmm...” you marked it down.

“Sports.” Sugino volunteered, “There was a guy on the team who broke one of his fingers sliding to home base.”

You nodded, “Sports produces a variety of injuries.”

“Car accidents.”

“That is correct, Yoshida.”

“Stress fractures are also common.” Takebayashi sounded positively bored. You had to feel for the kid. If you came from a family of doctors you’d probably find this all dull too.

“Yes! An often forgotten and misdiagnosed one. Good, Takebayashi! Now what causes them?”

“High impact sports. Running is one example.”

“Perfect.” you turned to the class, “There are a variety of kinds of breaks that a person can have and they need to be approached slightly differently depending on location and severity.”

You turned back to the board, drawing a simple human outline, “Who can tell me top priority breaks? Bones that are especially dangerous to have broken.”

“The neck!” Kayano chirped, “Because you checked me for that in Kyoto.”

“Correct. I had to check a few of you in Kyoto. Karma, what about you?”

“Skull fracture.”

“Yes! Remember, your brain is just a lump of meat piloting a skeleton around. It’s very vulnerable. So, neck, skull, what else might be an issue?”

“Spine.” it was Hara.

“Absolutely.” you drew quickly on the board, marking out the skull, neck, and spine, “Now, why are the spine and neck important here?”

“It protects the spinal cord and supports the body.” Hayami spoke up. 

“Yes. And damage to these areas can cause…” you wrote PARALYSIS on the board in large letters, underlining it, “Paralysis. And that’s something we absolutely want to avoid. Now…  _ types _ of fractures. We went over this a little last time. Who remembers some?”

“Compression and spiral!” Fuwa said.

“Very good. Anyone else?”

“Compound.” it was Takebayashi.

“Yes!” you looked at the class and saw mostly blank stares, “Okay, so…”

You wrote up on the board:

_ Types of Breaks: _

_ Complete - A break where the bones have broken completely. _

_ Incomplete or “Greenstick” - Bone is broken but the break is incomplete. _

_ Comminuted - A break with several pieces. These breaks have fragments of bone in them. _

_ Segmental - A bone broken in two places so the third portion is floating in the body. _

_ Fracture Patterns: _

_ Linear - A break that makes a straight line across the bone. _

_ Transverse - A break that is perpendicular to a long bone. _

_ Spiral - Found in twisting injuries. Break spirals or curls around the bone. _

_ Oblique - A break that runs diagonally across the bone. _

_ Compression - Crushing of the bone, deforming it. _

_ Compound - The bone has broken and has come through the skin. _

“There are other fractures too such as Impacted or Avulsion but we’re going to focus on some of the more common ones here.”

A little ways into the lesson you could see the kids eyeing the bin you’d brought in, “Okay, who is ready for demonstrations?”

That perked them up. Good.

“Who would like to be our victim then?”

“Allow me, Mx. Reader!”

You turned your attention to Korosensei who was moving to join you at the front of the class.

“... Okay, we can do that. So…” you gestured for him to take a seat and looked at the class, “We’ve found an injured person.” you patted his shoulder, looking at the class, “What do we do first?”

“Secure the scene.”

“Correct! Scene safety. Make sure the individual is in a safe location or make the location safe. Aside from being in a room with a bunch of assassins I think this looks relatively safe. So, then what?”

“Check for level of consciousness.”

“Good, good. Who can tell me how we do that?”

You spotted Mimura’s hand first.

“Mimura?”

“You should ask them questions. Like what day it is or what happened.”

“Good, and who can tell me what we’re looking for when we ask those questions? Hara?”

“Confusion, slurred speech, or an inability to respond.”

“Correct!”

This class was better than half the adults you’d trained.

“So, we’re going to say that I’ve found this man here.” you patted Korosensei’s shoulder, looking at the class, “Sitting on the ground in front of his house looking injured.” you gave him a smile, “Sir, are you alright?”

He looked up at you, “I don’t believe I am at all, Mx.”

“Okay, can you tell me what day it is?”

“Thursday.”

“Okay, and what happened?”

You saw a bit of a smirk on his face. Oh dear.

“I fell from my balcony.” he moaned dramatically.

“Do you have any pain?”

“Oh yes, my arm feels terrible.” 

He dramatically drooped one tentacled arm downward at a 90 degree angle.

You had to bite your lip to keep from laughing. God  _ dammit. _

“Okay, so, patient seems very aware of their surroundings. What’s next?” There was a pause and you chuckled, “Come on, we covered this last session. How do we approach an injury?”

“Um… don’t move them?” Maehara shrugged.

“Good. What else?”

“Stop the bleeding with pressure, immobilize the wound, use ice to bring down for swelling, treat for shock.”

Poor Takebayashi.

“Yes. Very good!” you turned to look at your coworker, “Okay so our patient here appears to have a broken arm. We see swelling and he’s complaining about pain.”

Korosensei gave another moan and you rolled your eyes. 

“They might say that they felt a pop or that they feel like something is grinding in their limb. Now, we don't see any bones sticking out through the skin so it's not a what?"

"Compound fracture."

"Good!" You looked at the class, "So, before we even begin to splint there are a few things we need to check for. Circulation, Motion, and Sensitivity. CMS. First up, is to make sure circulation is good.”

You picked up Korosensei’s hand and paused. Shit. This wasn’t going to really… uh… work.

“You’re going to pinch the patient's fingers and see if it turns white and back to it’s usual color. This tells you if blood is refilling the area properly. It should only take two seconds for the color to come back. You’re also going to check for a… uh… a pulse.”

Hm. It hadn’t occurred to you that this octopus might not have a pulse, but damn if you could not find one right now. Whelp. Okay then.

“Then you’re going to make sure they can move their fingers. Sir, can you wiggle your fingers for me?”

He did so, chuckling.

“Okay, good motion. Now, I’m going to touch his fingers and ask, ‘Sir, what finger am I touching?’ This lets us know if the patient has proper sensation in the area. If any of those are a problem then your patient might be at risk for losing the limb.”

Korosensei chuckled again, “I suppose that I am at risk, then.”

You gave him a look, “Well you’re an exception, obviously.”

There were some chuckles from the class as you struggled with the splint.

“Now, we need to immobilize the wound. You don’t want broken bones wiggling around in soft tissue, it’s not good for the body and it’s painful for your patient.” you gave the octopus another pat and he looked up at you.

“Please, Mx. I need this arm to teach my class.”

You shook your head with a chuckle, and reached into the bin, pulling out a splint, “So, we’re going to take our split here. Now, this is a military issue splint but anything relatively straight and stiff can work. Rulers, sturdy sticks, even paperback books if you roll them around the arm.”

You took Korosensei’s arm and lifted it gently, putting it onto the splint. You hadn’t properly thought of the logistics of this. Hm.

“We’re going to take the split and align it with the arm carefully. Then, if you could hold this, sir?”

He supported the splint with his free hand.

“We’re going to tie the split to the injured arm, like so...” taking some gauze, you tied it off around… well… where you guessed his elbow would be. The gauze sunk in deep, deeper than you intended, though he didn’t seem to feel it. You made a face, “Hm… normally, you don’t want to tie things off this tightly but uh… ” 

You moved to tie it off toward the other end of the splint which was… not really anywhere near his wrist.

Hm.

“Okay, this isn’t going to work.” you straightened looking at the awkward tube of a splint you had wrapped around his tentacle. It didn’t look effective or comfortable at all. “I’m afraid we’re going to need someone with bones.”

“Not to worry!” he chuckled.

Oh boy.

In a sudden rush you found yourself sitting on the chair, him standing in your place. The splint had vanished from his arm.

“I think this arrangement will work just as well, yes?”

You nodded, “That works.”

He demonstrated placing the splint against your arm and tying it off carefully.

“Now, you can’t tie it too tightly. The last thing you want is to cut off circulation to the limb. That’s not going to help your patient in the slightest. If they complain that their fingers are going cold or numb you need to loosen your ties. After that, you’re going to wrap the arm in gauze or other bandages.”

Korosensei gestured to your arm, displaying it to the class as he wrapped it gently. You could feel his hands gently moving against your skin and tried to ignore it.

“Okay, arm is immobilized. Now it’s time for a sling. A sling can be made out of a triangular piece of fabric pretty easily.”

Korosensei pulled out one of the cloth slings, tying a knot in the corner and placing your newly splinted arm into it. He brought it up, tying it behind your neck. Shit, he was close to you. His hand brushed the back of your neck as he tied the needed knots. A tiny shiver ran through you.

“So! What this does is keeps the arm immobile.” you gave the class a smile, covering your nerves, “After all of that, you have to go through CMS again. That way you can make sure that the splint isn’t causing any issue.”

Korosensei began going through the process with you and you tried to focus on the lesson instead of how nice his hand felt on yours.

“After that, if the arm is swollen you can apply an ice pack to help bring that down. The patient will have to go to a doctor or a hospital immediately. Without proper setting the bones could heal poorly and we don’t want that.”

You stood up, showing off your splinted arm, “So, who wants to give it a shot?”

Several hands went up and you set about picking volunteers. Korosensei had stepped back a bit to give you room.

Thank god. Less chance of embarrassment.

Back to work.

Lunch had you wiped. All the energy your coffee and pancakes had given you that morning had been drained by that class. You stifled a yawn and rubbed at your face a bit, trying to wake up.

Korosensei set your bento in front of you, "Perhaps some lunch will help?"

"God, I hope so."

He was giving you an apologetic smile, Karasuma and Irina were nowhere to be seen. The weather had cleared up a bit so there was a good chance they were eating outside.

You opened the bento and found yourself staring at several replicas of his ridiculous smiling mug.

"Really?"

The familiar chuckle made you smile in spite of yourself. To be honest you didn’t even care if it looked like him. Food was food and you were starving.

“So, you certainly seemed to have trouble with today’s lesson.” he smirked, green stripes around his face.

“Yeah, yeah, did you have fun making a fool out of me up there?” you took a bite of your food.

“You did seem to have fun at least.”

“I did.” you admitted, “But why the fuck don’t you have a pulse?”

He laughed, “Come now, Reader, surely you’ve noticed by now that I don’t have blood.”

Didn’t have…

Shit…

Damn you felt like an idiot.

“Okay… so you don’t have blood. You can eat anything. You can’t be killed. You regenerate. I guess you don’t have a heart either huh?”

“Oh no, quite the contrary. I do have a heart.”

“But you don’t have blood… ?”

“There is a mucus that serves a similar purpose.”

“A… mucus.”

He gave a nod.

“No offense but that sounds really gross.”

He laughed, “It might be but it’s also far more efficient which is why you don’t feel it in a pulse.”

A thought popped into your mind at that. An unsettling thought.

He had a heart but a blood substitute. What the hell had been done to him?

What if he was human but… inside there? Like the octopus was some sort of organism or something surrounding… well it couldn’t be a whole body you guessed… a head and torso? God that was horrifying to think abo-

“Reader? Are you alright?”

“Huh?! Oh, yeah, I’m okay just… uh, a bit tired.”

He chuckled just a bit, “My apologies.”

“It’s alright. Oh! Hey, uh… about July.”

He perked up a bit, looking over at you. There was something to his expression. An anticipation you hadn’t expected to see.

“I’m free that day.”

His grin widened, “Wonderful! We’ll be able to plan a trip more thoroughly then.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot to that place.” you took another bite of your food, trying not to think of the idea of Korosensei having some weird human core inside of him. You’d have to add that to your notes later…

He was looking at you seriously.

“What?”

“You certainly seem to have something on your mind. I’ve seen that look before.”

You frowned, “What?”

He chuckled, “You have a very specific expression you make when you’re trying to figure something out.”

“...” you pulled out your phone and tapped into it, you didn’t feel comfortable asking this out loud.

There was a questioning look from him as his phone pinged. He seemed startled, “What? Reader, what exactly do you think-”

He started to giggle and tapped a reply.

[No, I assure you I am -not- a human head and torso piloting an octopus body. Where did -that- come from?]

“You don’t have a pulse.” you gestured, “And no blood, so I thought maybe… well… I mean it’s not  _ that _ far fetched given  _ literally everything else _ about you!”

He was still laughing, “Well, I promise, that is not the case.”

Thank god for that you guessed. That just  _ sounded _ horrifying.

Maybe you’d watched one too many sci-fi films…

Oh no…

You tapped into your phone again.

He paused in his laughter to look at his phone as it pinged again. You were never going to live these questions down but you were curious.

[No, I’m not a human -brain- piloting an octopus either.]

“If I was would it really matter?” he was still laughing.

“Probably not but it would be  _ significantly _ creepier.”

“Didn’t you just describe the human body to our students today as ‘a lump of meat piloting a skeleton around’.”

You pursed your lips and then glared down at the bento. God dammit.

“Touche.”

He chuckled, shaking his head, “I’ve heard a lot of interesting theories about my biology but that’s  _ certainly _ a new one.”

At the end of the day you had a strand of multicolored cranes dangling by the door with a post it next to them reading:

_ Total: 40 _

_ Left: 960 _

On the table, you’d set up a cardboard box with the label “鳥の巣”

Bird Nest.

It seemed an appropriate place for the students to drop off any new cranes they’d made.


	34. Voices and Vices (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come? I think? I'll have to get uh... creative with that one.  
> NSFW CONTENT AHOY. It might not be... exactly what you'd expect but I hope you enjoy!  
> If you DON'T want to view NSFW content feel free to back out. The next chapter will be SFW!
> 
> ALSO, do you want the NSFW indicator in the chapter title or just the Chapter Notes? If you could let me know in your comments that would be grand.

You lay on your futon trying to get to sleep. It was proving _impossible_. Every time you closed your eyes that smile came to mind. Today’s closeness hadn’t helped. The memory of his hand brushing by your neck made you shiver. You sighed, remembering the way he'd held you the other night. The way he'd spoken to you. At the time you'd had more on your mind but now you felt flustered by the memory…

_"I have my preferences but I am a man of many vices."_

Fuck that had been hot.

Like… _really hot_.

You buried your face in your hands. You'd been trying _not_ to let your mind wander in that direction. Things were confusing enough as is. But…

_"Not to mention it's fun watching you squirm."_

You had to admit to yourself that that statement had put some very _interesting_ images into your mind…

Tentacles exploring your body, stroking sensitive places, being made to wait, being edged-

You rolled over and buried your face in your pillow, muffling a scream.

What were you going to _do_ about this?

You knew what you _wanted_ to do about this… but _should_ you?

With a sigh, you closed your eyes and considered your options for a moment.

On one hand you could go ahead and… _explore_ these thoughts in the privacy of your room…

On the other hand… what did doing that _mean_? Would you be able to look at him again without feeling embarrassed?

Then again how was that any different than any _other_ day?

_Fuck it._

Rolling back over, you wiggled out of your pajama bottoms, trailing a hand over your hip.

No one had to _know_ about this. After all it was _just_ in your head, _just_ a fantasy, no harm done…

You would just get it out of your system and go to sleep. It would be _fine_.

You slipped your hand lower, caressing yourself. Closing your eyes you let your imagination take the reins.

You pictured those hands of his cupping your face, trailing down your body, grazing across parts of you that made every nerve light up. Smooth, gentle, and warm, his tentacles sliding against your skin… maybe holding your legs open… gently teasing at you…

With a shiver, you sped up your motions.

His voice in your ear telling you how wonderful you were, how good it was to touch you after so long wanting to. Your breath hitched… god, _yes_ you wanted that… 

You loved the way he sounded when he took a more serious tone. Warm and gentle. The thought of him saying your name like that…

You bit back a whimper.

He was fast too… you could imagine several ways that could be useful…

Oh but you preferred to think about him _taking his time_. Slow. Deliberate. Enjoying watching as much as participating. Pleasing you as part of his own enjoyment...

He would bring you to the edge over and over, dragging it out, letting you gasp and moan, begging… until… until…

You yelped, stuffing your free hand against your mouth and biting a knuckle as you came. You didn't want to disturb the neighbors but... oh god did it feel good…

So very, _very_ good…

You basked in the shivers and tremors still ricocheting through you, letting yourself relax.

Afterwards you lay there, bare, slick with sweat and fluids, and feeling suddenly _very_ self conscious.

There wasn't even anyone _here_ and you felt self conscious...

You got up, grabbing fresh pajamas, and made your way to the shower where you washed in shamed silence.

God, what was _wrong_ with you?

He was your _friend_. A _co-worker_. He didn't even _look_ _human_ …

But _god_ did you want him to touch you.

After your shower you climbed back into your futon, curling in on yourself.

_What were you going to do about this?_

How were you going to face him at _work_?

God, this had been a _terrible_ idea…

But, for all that you felt it had been, you found yourself drifting off finally.

_Blessed sleep._

Tendrils wound and snaked their way between your legs. You gasped, trembling. He leaned forward, a blush on his cheeks, grin in place, "Is _this_ what you want, Reader?"

You nodded.

"Then what do you _say?_ "

"Yes, Sensei."

The tendrils began to move and you shuddered, gasping. He watched you as you writhed under him, a whine dragged from your throat.

You felt something push inside of you and you cried out, arching your back against the bed. A hand gently brushed your hair back, "You're doing _beautifully_."

With a moan, you bucked your hips against whatever it was inside you and felt it twist and coil in response. Everything below was throbbing in the best of ways. Your breath hitched and he leaned in, his voice soft against your ear, "You know Reader, I could _easily_ keep this up all night. I wonder how long _you'd_ last."

You squirmed, the idea of him doing this all night made your heart quicken and your body tense. God, you'd be so exhausted but _damn_ would it be worth it.

He chuckled and what you assumed to be a tentacle within you pressed deeper, striking spots in you that sent chills along your spine.

The tentacles insistently stroking at you paired with the overwhelming fullness inside you tipped you over the edge. You cried out, your body trembling as it arched and shook. He held you firmly, not stopping his motions. Leaning in close he whispered, "So _soon?~_ You must have wanted it _quite badly._ Now, _what do you say?_ "

You were breathless, panting, "Th-thank you Sensei…"

He chuckled and sped up his motions causing you to yelp in surprise.

Green stripes lined his face and his smile sharpened as he looked in your eyes, "I _did_ say I could keep this up all night. You didn't think I'd let you go _that easily_ did you?"

You moaned as the tentacle inside you moved long slow thrusts. His hand trailed along your cheek and you took it in yours, kissing it before sucking a finger into your mouth.

He gasped, watching you and you-

You woke up sticky and flustered. 

_Fuck._

_FUCK?!_

_Fucking sleep!_ _Augh!_

You weren't even safe _asleep_ for fucks sake.

You sat up and looked at the time.

Christ. You had to be up soon. 

You went to go clean up for the second time that night.

What the fuck brain?

That day at lunch the subject of your dreams was concerned about you, "Are you alright, Reader? You seem tired."

"Sorry, I didn't sleep very well last night." You focused on the papers you were grading. Your face was burning.

"Mn… Nightmares?"

"Uh… No just you know, tossing and turning…" you lied.

Time to get this on a safer topic…

"Do you think these first aid lessons are sinking in with the students? I means they're testing well but I'm worried they're not getting enough practice in…"

"I think they're doing very well. You should have more confidence in your teaching skills, Reader! You're doing _beautifully_." 

Last night's dream echoed back in your head.

" _You're doing_ _beautifully_."

 _Fuc_ k why did your brain had to predict what he sounded like so _well_?

"Th-thanks, Sen- _Korosensei_! Uh…" you stood up awkwardly, shuffling the papers in your hands, "I almost forgot, there's something I need to prepare for my next class. Be back in a bit!" 

You made a hasty, embarrassed retreat to the nurse's office where you spent the rest of the day screaming internally and trying to function.

It took a day or two for you to stop being a complete, embarrassed wreck in his presence.


	35. The Fattest Taco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

The weather was clearing up. It was happening slowly but surely. You’d first noticed it the day Itona showed up with the sporadic rain and sun. Today you didn’t need your umbrella coming to work and you took that as a huge blessing. The sun and blue skies were beginning to have an effect on you. You felt antsy, awake, alive! Ready to do things and excited about the day ahead.

Even if it was just another class day honestly. Nothing special planned in the slightest.

There was just this… anticipation in the air. Giddy anticipation like you used to have as a kid on field trip days.

You had no idea why but it was fantastic and you relished it. Might as well right?

“Hey, Doc!” you were joined by, not Karma, but Muramatsu. You guessed the nickname was catching.

“Good morning!” you gave him a smile, “You’re rather early aren’t you?”

He shrugged, “I had a few questions for Korosensei about last night’s math homework. Figured I might as well catch him before class starts.”

“Yeah?” you were still (repeatedly) shocked at how hard working these supposed delinquents were. The lowest grade point average but they made up for it in spades with their determination. Of course a good portion of that was thanks to their teacher, but the kids were the ones moving under their own steam.

“Yeah, it’s not my greatest topic.”

“Was never mine either really.” you gave a bit of a shrug.

“Hey, Muramatsuuuuuu!” it was Yoshida, running up behind him and throwing an arm around him.

“Two early birds today?” you smirked, “Better watch out or you boys are going to lose that reputation you have.”

Muramatsu laughed, “Worried we’re going to become the good kids in class?”

“God forbid.”

Terasaka’s group, while rather hot headed or irritable at times,  _ were _ good kids.

The class didn’t have any truly bad kids, not really.

Both boys looked as excited as you did today. The feeling seemed positively infectious.

There was a good chance It was because of the good weather and it being a weekend. Everyone seemed to be itching for a day off after the Itona incident, yourself included.

Once up at the school house you split off from the boys, dropping off your things in the nurse’s office.

The one negative side effect of the sun was that the heat was ratcheting up higher again. The fans still cut through it a bit but they weren’t the best solution. You took a peek in the Bird’s Nest Box. Three more to add. The beginnings of the next strand. You set them out on the table. You really couldn’t guess who had added these. All three were rainbow striped paper. Very cute. 

You were still recovering from the week’s events. The knife thing, the fight, the sleepover… it was a lot of emotional whiplash and that could be why you felt so charged up. Your body was trying to be excited about something so it didn’t have to sort out other feelings.

You certainly weren’t complaining.

You moved to update the note by the door and paused.

Fishing around in your bag, you pulled out the pack of origami paper you’d bought yesterday on the way home. It had been ages since you tried your hand at origami but the kids were so dedicated to this crane thing that you felt you should join in.

You folded the paper carefully and surveyed your work. Your crane wasn't as crisp as the others but it would do. The pattern was simple repeating scales in blue, green, and silver. You gently placed it along it's brethren and updated the note:

_ Total: 44 _

_ Left: 956 _

Not too shabby. One strand down. Twenty four more to go.

Between classes you were surprised to hear a tap on the doorway of the nurse’s office. When you looked up it was Sugaya who was standing there a bit awkwardly. You smiled, “Sugaya, how nice to see you!”

He gave a smile and held up a couple of cranes that had been heavily doodled on, “Uh, I came by to drop these off...”

“Lovely, thank you!”

“And uh...”

You looked up, curious.

“Maybe to talk about something?” the boy normally was pretty relaxed, you were surprised to see that he seemed nervous.

“Sure. What’s up?” you gestured to one of the other chairs in the office.

He took a seat, “So, like, I know you’re not doing this whole assassination thing...”

Why did these one on one conversations always start like this? You gave him a nod.

“But can I ask like… if an idea is stupid or not?”

That took you aback.

“Sure! Like I said before, I won’t actively help but if you need advice or something I’m here for that.”

“Well… it’s an assassination idea.”

Oof.

Still, this is, in part, what you were here for.

“Lay it on me.”

He seemed a touch surprised but immediately launched into his plan, leaning forward conspiratorially. When he’d finished you were amused but also pretty impressed. You had your doubts about it working but the idea was really creative.

“So… what do you think?”

“I think you’re definitely thinking outside of the box.” you gave him a smile, “Doesn’t sound stupid at all. If nothing else it’s going to give you information, right?”

He considered this, “Yeah, true...”

“Then you should go for it. That’s a great way to use your talents for this I think.”

“Yeah? It’s not too out there?”

You laughed a bit, “Have you seen this class?”

He grinned, “Okay you got me there. Oh, man, I better get to class. Thank you, Mx. Reader.”

“No problem, that’s what I’m here for.”

And with that, he was gone.

Every single one of these kids were creative as hell in their concepts it felt like. In a place like Kunugigaoka that was something you could see othering them. There certainly was a heavy pressure to conform here.

As odd as this year was so far, you had to admit that you wished you’d had a teacher as good as Korosensei growing up. You suddenly remembered something he’d said back on that first day he’d brought you lunch.

_ “... who’s to say you can’t use a teacher like me now?” _

In light of recent events that made you want to crawl under your desk and just die.

Distracting yourself, you got up and corrected the note, adding in the new cranes.

_ Total: 46 _

_ Left: 954 _

Sugaya had come to you with something he wasn’t sure about. That gave you a little spark of pride. The kids liked you well enough but you hadn’t had many open up to you. You supposed that little pep talk after the fight had helped.

You felt a twinge of guilt keeping information from them but honestly…

You didn’t have answers to the questions they’d asked either.

You didn’t know what upset him about Itona’s tentacles. You didn’t know why he was created. You had no idea why he’d come to E Class.

You just knew you were glad he had.

“Hey, Mx. Reader?” 

You looked up from your lesson prep, “Yes, Okano?”

“Could I talk to you about something?”

Two? In one day? Must be all that nervous energy in the air.

“Of course.”

“And uh… you don’t tell anyone about this stuff right?”

Your eyebrows went up, “No of course not.”

“Okay.” she chewed her lip a bit, “So, what do I do if there’s someone who I like being around but I really want to punch them sometimes?”

You propped your chin on your hand, “In this classroom that’s not too odd.”

She laughed a little and shook her head, “It’s really frustrating… ”

“Is it a boy you want to punch by chance?”

She made a face and nodded.

You laughed just a bit, “Which boy?”

She stalled a bit at that, looking irritated.

“You don’t have to tell me. Why do you want to punch him?”

There was a huff and she leaned forward, “He’s just so… irresponsible! He’s always dating a bunch of girls at once and he’s so casual about it!”

Mmmmm that sounded suspiciously like the copper top, Maehara.

“Yeah?”

“And it’s stupid and gets him in trouble.”

“I can imagine.”

She seemed flustered by your knowing expression. You really weren’t trying to be too obvious about it. There was a sigh, “You know who it is.”

“Well if you want to punch them regularly then you’re around them regularly and the only boy I know like that, specifically, in the class is Maehara.”

There was a nod, “He’s my friend and… I didn’t like seeing him hurt. Even if it wasn’t that bad.”

“I can understand that.”

“And like, that time it wasn’t really his fault but there’s been other times it was and...” she looked at you, “I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I don’t think there’s much you can do about it, Okano. He’s his own person, after all. The best you can do is remind him that his behavior causes trouble for him.”

“I do and he literally does not listen. He’s so relaxed about it!”

You thought that over, “So, the trouble he gets into doesn’t seem to bother him?”

She shook her head, “No.”

“But it bothers you.”

She nodded.

“Is it perhaps less the trouble that bothers you and more… something else?”

Her stare was blank, “What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re good friends, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you’re a little jealous?”

She opened her mouth to respond and then shut it, looking like she’d been sucking on a lemon.

“Feelings like that are pretty normal.” you gave a small shrug, “I suggest you maybe talk to him about hanging out some more.”

She paused, looking at you for a long moment, “Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“You’re friends yeah?”

“Yeah...”

“And you’ve hung out before?”

Again with the lemon sucking face, “Yeaaaaaah...”

“So, what’s weird about it?”

She takes a breath and sighs, “You’re right. It’s not weird. I’ll just ask him. Thanks, Mx. Reader.”

“Anytime.” you gave her a smile.

And she was out the door like a shot.

You had a sneaking suspicion she’d like to be more than just friends to copper top but unless she brought it up, you weren’t going to pester her about it. God knows you could sympathize.

And like magic…

“Reader! I’m about to pop out for lunch, would you like something?”

Professor Smiley Face, back again.

“Yeah, sure, uh…. What was that you brought in the other day?” you snapped your fingers, trying to think, “The one in the uh...”

You helplessly gestured.

He looked amused, “The burek?”

“That was that like, flat thing yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Not that.”

He chuckled.

“It was… god I knew the name two seconds before you asked. Fuck, uh… ”

He leaned on the door frame, not something you saw him do often but it was always amusing to see.

You shook your head, definitely not that, “Little bun things like this size?”

You held up your hands.

“Bao?”

“Yes! Wait no, it sounds like it but it’s not the Chinese ones it’s-” You look at him with a sigh, “It looks like the fattest taco?” you followed up weakly.

“Gua Bao. Pork belly buns. Taiwan.”

“Yes! That!” thank god he knew what the fuck you were talking about, “Oh! Here.” you fished out your wallet, tossing it to him, “Drinks?”

He chuckled, “Perfect. Be back in a moment.”

He shot off suddenly and you were greatful as hell for that stupid Kyoto guidebook holding your papers down.

It’d been, what, a month since he started popping out for lunch for the both of you? 

Jeez…

It had nearly been two months here already.

Damn.

How the hell had so much happened in two months?

What all had gone down? Let’s see…

You counted it off on your fingers to yourself.

One of your students had flung himself off of a cliff.

You got a new coworker who was a seductress.

You'd watched a teacher being poisoned.

Korosensei had threatened to leave.

Midterms for the kids.

You'd been to Kyoto.

You'd gotten one hell of a cold.

Developed a crush on an octopus.

You had a new student who was an AI

Assisted in a revenge plot.

Watched two assassins battle it out.

And you'd just met a new student who had tentacles.

Fuck man, that was in just under two months.  _ Two months! _

And that wasn’t even counting the outside of school weirdness you’d had with the octopus like the trip to Tomita Farm and such. 

_ Wild. _

Before you could follow that particular chain of thought any further he was back. You flashed him a smile as he tossed the wallet back to you. God, it felt like forever ago that he’d offered to pick up lunch for you both and now you practically had a system.

That made you feel  _ stupid happy _ .

What the hell was with today?

A bun was placed in front of you along with a bubble tea.

“You seem in exceptionally good spirits, Reader.” he took a seat, “Did something happen?”

You remembered the other night in vivid detail.

_ That’s why. _

Yeah, there was no way you were telling him about those particular feelings. 

“No. It’s just… I don’t know, it’s a good day for some reason. I think it’s the weather.”

“It is beautiful out today. The rainy season seems to be on it’s way out.”

“Thank god. No more constant bucket dumping.”

He chuckled, “And no more swelling.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s a relief.”

“Indeed.” he took a bite of his bun.

You tucked in to yours as well. It was delicious.

You felt eyes on you. You glanced up.

He was staring.

“What?”

He looked, for half a moment, like he might say something. Then he turned his attention back to his lunch, “Oh it’s nothing.”

That… was uncharacteristic of him. He usually deflected, yes, but with a quip or a joke. This wasn’t the same.

“Okay, well, now I  _ know  _ something’s up. What’s going on?”

There was another lengthy pause. 

“Hey uh… you’re kinda worrying me over there. Earth to Korosensei?”

You leaned over, snapping your fingers in front of him.

That seemed to bring him out of it, he shook his head, spluttering, “I-I ah… that is… I’m so sorry, Reader, I was lost in thought.”

He got distracted. You’d seen it happen. This was definitely not distraction.

He chuckled, “You’re making that face again.”

“Huh?”

“Your detective face. You’re trying to figure something out.”

Okay so maybe you didn’t have a  _ Look _ but you apparently had a detective face.

“I meant what I said the other night about being up for talking if you need it.”

Another long pause and then, “I know, Reader.” he chuckled, “Don’t fret. Everything is fine.”

And with that he took another bite of his bun.

Whatever it was, it was clear he wanted you to drop it. You sat back, taking a bite of your own bun with a sigh.

“Don’t pout.” he chuckled, green lines around his face, “I can’t very well tell you  _ everything _ now can I?”

You rolled your eyes, feeling your face heat up. He’d absolutely nailed your feelings there and it stung your pride a bit. You spoke without thinking.

“You  _ could _ , you know.”

You’d meant that to sound casual.

It definitely did not.

His cheeks went a touch pink and he turned his attention to his boba for a moment before chuckling, “Now, Reader, that would ruin my carefully crafted mysterious persona!”

You laughed a little at that, “Oh,  _ God forbid _ , we can’t have that!”

His eyes narrowed, just slightly, “Indeed.”

You wouldn’t say it but you didn’t give a damn about his mysterious persona.

You were more worried about that heartbroken tone you’d heard from him the other night and the vacantness that fell over his eyes at times.

“You’re doing it again, Reader.~”

Fucking...

_ AUGH. _

Were you that easy to read? For the love of  _ fuck _ .

He smirked, leaning forward a bit, “So, what’s on  _ your _ mind? I mean if you’re so interested in  _ talking _ ...”

God dammit.

“Nothing.” you lied.

“Nurufufufu~”

He turned it right back on you because  _ of course _ he had.

He always did.

You took out your frustration on the bun in your hand, taking a particularly vicious bite.

Yet… somehow, even with this awkwardness. 

It felt like a  _ damn good day _ .


	36. Adorable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!  
> Koro's POV is uhhh racier than this. You can check it out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49066805).

The weekend was a welcome relief from all the stress of the past week or two. You hadn’t realized just how exhausted you’d been. It felt so good to sleep in, wake up, and just slum it around your apartment in pajamas. You kept finding yourself looking at the space in your living room where he’d slept and you made the effort to distract yourself with television. It wasn’t working of course…

You sighed. Things had been so tense and while it was nice to relax part of you was still full of anxious energy. So much had happened. You really hadn’t fully realized it til yesterday.

What had been with him yesterday anyway?

_ Reader, you’re supposed to taking the day oooooooooooff, not thinking about the octopus. _

You huffed and got up off the couch, going to do your laundry. Maybe that would take your mind off of things.

Except your PLEASE PRESENT YOUR OCTOPUS shirt was on top of the hamper.

Goddammit.

You bit your lip, looking at it.

You wondered…

God, this was stupid.

You picked up the shirt and pressed it to your face.

_ Old books and summer rain… _

_ Goddammit.  _

You threw the shirt and the rest of the laundry in the wash and set it, heading back into the living room, running your hands through your hair.

Fucking helllll…

You flopped on the couch, picking up your phone and scrolling through apps. Games. Twitter…

Your eyes settled on your text messages.

It would be weird to randomly text him on a Sunday right?

Not any more weird than texting him in the middle of the night about a nightmare you guessed…

You were friends.

It wasn’t that weird.

Friends checked in on each other.

It was fine…

You opened your texts and found his contact.

[Enjoying some time off?]

There. You did it. All checked in. You got up and made your way to the kitchen. Your phone chimed and you tried not to run back to the couch to pick it up.

You failed.

[I am, yes. You?]

You flopped on the couch and picked up your mug of coffee, snapping a selfie and sending it.

[Yep. Relaxin’.]

[Another interesting fashion choice, I see...]

Huh… you looked down.

Ahahahaha fuckin christ.

It was your Happy Bunny shirt. Which sounded innocent enough. That’s what it said in big letters… right below the bright pink silhouette of two humping rabbits.

[Pajamas.]

[You wear such -interesting- pajamas.]

You grabbed a throw pillow, burying your face in it.

Jeeeeeesus.

[You know that already.]

[True. They are quite charming though.]

How did you respond to that? How could you? God, this was killing you. Why did you text him?

A thought occurred to you suddenly. Oh, that would be hilarious.

You dug around in your closet before locating the article of clothing in question. You shrugged on the skeleton kigurumi you had. You’d bought it as a gag for halloween a few years ago. The laziest costume ever really. Posing, mildly suggestively, which only looked hilarious in this, you snapped a photo.

[They’re really not the cuter ones I have.]

[Oh? Is that so?]

[Yeah. See?]

You sent the photo.

[You look adorable.]

You covered your mouth, trying to stifle the sudden scream that tried to escape.

Fuck. You’d just meant to make him laugh oh god.

You were laughing now, rubbing your face, flustered.

[Thanks.]

You wondered, briefly, what he was wearing. Where was he anyway? His house you guessed… 

Fuck it.

[I showed you mine, you show me yours.]

There was radio silence for a bit. You tensed. Hopefully that joke wasn’t too weird.

[Of course!]

You now had a picture of him in another nightshirt and cap, holding up a mug of tea against a rather nondescript looking wall. Well, that didn’t tell you anything about where he was but it certainly was cute.

[Now look who’s adorable!]

Oh fuck why did you send that?

[Thank you, Reader.]

You had to get onto a safer topic. This one was going to make you spontaneously combust.

[Hey, Tonneruzu no Minasan no Okage deshita is on.]

[Oh! Excellent.]

You spent the rest of the afternoon texting back and forth while watching Japanese game shows.

So, much for not thinking about the octopus...


	37. Yakkyuu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dreaded writing this chapter because I'm not big on sports. Then I got started and it was actually a ton of fun to write. Hope you guys enjoy!

Next week started off slow enough… until the topic of the baseball game was brought up.

“Hey, uh… Karasuma?” you’d heard the kids chatting about nothing but baseball all day today...

“Hm?” he didn’t look up from his laptop.

“What’s going on with this baseball thing?”

“There’s a tournament. E class doesn’t get to participate but they’ll be playing in the exhibition match. So naturally the octopus is training them for it.”

“It’s another way for the school to be assholes basically.” Irina said, with a shrug as she entered the room.

“Lovely.” you looked out at the grounds, the sun was coming through and it was looking much nicer. The rain was finally clearing up for good seemed like.

“Tournament is this Saturday. We’ll be expected to be there.” Karasuma’s tone was dry.

“What?!” Irina huffed, “Who wants to watch a bunch of preteens smacking a ball around all day?”

“It’s fine, just think of yourself as the kids cheerleader.” you gave her a smile.

“Very funny.” she didn’t look impressed with you in the slightest.

“I must say, Ms. Irina would certainly look _lovely_ in the outfit.” Korosensei said with a chuckle as he came into the room.

“Oh shut up.” she rolled her eyes.

Karasuma looked over at Irina, “I don’t know how it is where you’re from but baseball is a big deal here.”

His dry delivery didn’t make it sound like a big deal but-

“Yes! It certainly is!” the octopus was wearing a baseball uniform, head colored to match, “Baseball became a national pastime post-World War II.”

“Why is that anyway?” you looked over at him, “Like… I know people love it over here but like… why is it so popular?”

“The answer is simple, Reader.” his tone was informative and open. He held up a finger, “Japanese culture focuses on cooperation, the collective, and hard work. All of those are core aspects of the game. You cooperate as a team. You work together to achieve your goal.”

“I never thought about it that way...” you tipped your head, “I don’t know, most people I knew in competitive sports weren’t exactly cooperative people… then again different culture.”

He gave a nod.

“So, do you think the kids have a shot?” Irina raised a brow at him.

“We’ll have to do reconnaissance but I have a good feeling about this game. Our players have good heads on their shoulders.” Korosensei seemed eager for the game.

“So, if it’s an exhibition game they don’t get a trophy or anything do they? Why’s everyone so fired up?” you asked, “Just E Class pride or…?”

He turned to you and there was the tiniest flicker of pink across his cheeks, “ _Absolutely._ Combined with Sugino’s drive to win of course.”

So, it was for baseball boy then. You could see why he’d have some investment in winning a game like this even if it wasn’t part of the tournament proper.

“What about the girls and their basketball game?” Irina looked over at him, “Don’t they have to do the same thing?”

He looked at her, “The girls haven’t shown a drive to defeat the other team. They seem to be content with the state of things.”

“Says the guy who lights a fire under every single student’s ass?” you looked over at him, surprised. 

“Hm?”

“Don’t plan on encouraging the girls to win their game?” you tipped your head at him.

“I suppose that I could.” he gestured, “The boys spoke up in favor of winning the baseball game so we’ve been strategizing. But I can certainly offer the same training to the girls.”

“You should. It would be good for them."

He gave a nod, turning back to his papers.

Sports weren't really your thing so much. You'd participated back in school but that had been a while ago. You wouldn't be much help in this department aside from emotional support. So instead, you focused on laying out your next lesson plan. Perhaps you could incorporate sports into the lesson…

After school you found Korosensei and a gaggle of students in their gym wear outside. It looked like it was training time.

The octopus was using that after image duplication trick of his again, this time to play against the kids as whole other teams.

You took a seat on the back steps, watching. It made your head hurt. How did he keep up? He even had costume changes between each game. A baseball uniform for the boys (with a baseball colored head) and a basketball outfit for the girls… complete with feminine appearance. Probably because of ‘authenticity’ if you knew him.

You were starting to wonder if he just liked feeling pretty sometimes.

You took note of his many clones he was maintaining in your journal. Nine for baseball and five for basketball. Nowhere near as many as you’d seen him do before.

The kids did pretty poorly against him but that wasn’t too surprising. You were impressed they were even able to keep up with the flickering forms they were playing against.

Your phone pinged and you looked down at it. It was Ritsu.

[Mx. Reader could I speak with you?]

[Sure thing.]

Ritsu popped up on your screen, with a chipper wave, “Is that a more appropriate way to approach someone on their phone?”

“Absolutely, unless they say it’s okay to just pop in. People do like their privacy. Text messages are a good way to handle that.”

“I wasn’t aware that you and Korosensei had a relationship outside of class.”

“WHAT?!”

Sounds from the baseball field stopped, you looked up. You hadn’t meant for that to be so loud. You waved a hand at them, “Sorry, it’s nothing there uh… there was a bee.”

They turned their attention back to their game.

“I didn’t see any insects.” Ritsu tilted her head slightly, “My facial comprehension software indicates that you were lying. Why?”

You rubbed your face, “You surprised me with that and I shouted and if I said why to the class it would be embarrassing. So I lied.”

“Ah, deception for the sake of personal appearance! I’ve seen this in the classroom before!”

Okay time to get this back on track.

“ _Why_ do you think I have a relationship with Korosensei?”

“Your text messages seem to indicate-”

“....Ritsu, have you been reading my text messages?”

“Yes? Should I not?”

“Yeah, maybe _don’t_ do that. Remember, privacy is important to people.” you looked at the girl on your screen, this was the weirdest shit…

“Does that mean I have judged incorrectly?”

“Yeah, definitely. We don’t have a romantic relationship.”

“Oh! I was speaking of a platonic relationship. I’m sorry, I should have clarified!”

How could she simultaneously be so adorable and so nerve wracking?

“Oh, yeah, we’re friends outside of class.” you could admit to that, that wasn’t so hard.

“Is there any additional information that you’ve gathered from these outside of class interactions that might be beneficial to the assassination?”

Oh, oh great now you had to lie to the software designed to analyze your face for lying.

You looked at her directly, keeping yourself calm. There was no need to panic.

“Not really.”

It was true. Most of the information you had wasn’t really pertinent to the assassination. You waited for her assessment of your half truth.

“That’s regrettable.” she made a face.

You laughed a bit, “I will tell you guys if I get anything you can use.”

Not an actual lie. Right now what you had wasn’t really helpful to them…

“Thank you, Mx. Reader!”

“No problem. Uh… what’s with the outfit actually?”

Ritsu was sporting a cutesy maid inspired outfit. She gave a grin, “Takebayashi suggested it! Isn’t it cute?”

Hmmmm…

“It is. I have a feeling he suggested that because he likes how you look in it. Maid outfits are... ” how the fuck did you explain this to an AI.

“They have connotations of service and associations with uniform fetishism.”

_Oh._

“Yeeees… that’s right.”

“Is there something wrong with that?” her question was earnest.

Hmmm…

“Well, do you like wearing it?”

That took her a moment, she considered, “I think it’s cute.”

“If that’s the case then it’s okay. _You_ should be the one who chooses how you present yourself, not anyone else.”

She tipped her head a bit, “But how I appear is also my user interface. If I don’t make myself appealing to others then isn’t that against my programming for cooperation and coordination?”

Damn, when you signed up for this job this was not the sort of middle school issues you thought you’d be handling.

“It’s normal to be worried about how someone might take your appearance. That’s the case even for folks like your classmates but your choices for yourself should come first.”

There was a long pause on her end, circuit board styled lights flickering behind her, “But what about school uniforms?”

“What about them?”

“If I’m supposed to choose how I present myself then why are uniforms required?”

“That’s a good question.” she perked up at the praise, “Uniforms can tell us a lot about someone’s role in society. Your school uniform tells others you are a student. A police officer’s uniform tells people what his job is. Sometimes, we need to wear those uniforms for that purpose but outside of that we choose our presentation.”

She considered this, the lights flickering again behind her, “I think I understand.”

She looked down at her outfit and did a small wave of her hands. It remained largely the same but it was now a gradient matching her eyes, a dark purple to blue. More ruffles appeared along the trim, and a large bow decorated the back. After a moment of consideration, she waved her hand again tiny yellow star barrettes decorating her bangs. She did a little spin, “How’s this?”

“Do you like it?”

She nodded, smiling.

“Then it’s perfect.”

You had a lot of questions now. How did Ritsu define herself? Did she have comprehension of the body she projected to others? A digital sense of sensation? Or was it like changing avatars?

Also… if Takebayashi was making a suggestion like that to her, what else might he be suggesting? Hmmm… that might be something to bring up with him.

She might be digital but she was still a classmate, a particularly naive one in some respects and she deserved better treatment than that. You turned your attention to the two games going on. It was nice to see the kids enjoying themselves after last week’s insanity.

“Mx. Reader, should I go? You seem to be distracted.”

“Oh!” you looked back at your phone, “I’m sorry Ritsu, that was rude of me, I was just thinking about the game coming up.”

“It is exciting, isn't it? I’ve been helping Takebayashi to spy on the enemy team!”

“Oh?”

She nodded, “Data analysis is my strong suit after all but Takebayashi is a very necessary human component because he can take me there for spying and, of course, give me additional context for elements we might be looking for.”

“Huh...” you thought about that for a moment, “Do you often hang out with your classmates, Ritsu?”

“Oh yes!” she beamed, “Nakamura and Hinano took me shopping!”

“Shopping…?”

She nodded, “It helps me get ideas for new clothing presets for myself! And I can calculate sales for them as needed. It’s a lot of fun!”

That…

That was really cute actually. You chuckled, “I’m glad you’re getting along with everyone. You said you’re on everyone’s devices now, yeah?”

She nodded, “I can help everyone and I get to spend time with them. It’s great having friends!”

“It is.” you propped your chin on your hand, looking at her, “You are an amazing...” you paused, “How would you prefer to be addressed, Ritsu? A girl? A person? A program?”

She paused, lights flickering behind her. You watched as expressions crossed her face. For the first time since meeting her, you saw something other than chipper cuteness in her expression.

“Well, I’m a program.” she said, looking up at you.

“That is true.”

“I think that all three are true about me. Which should I choose?”

You chuckled, “You don’t have to pick one if they all work for you.”

“Oh, good.”

“Well what I was going to say is that you are an amazing girl and that it’s fascinating to watch you grow.”

She went pink, the background changing to match, “Thank you!”

“All right, I think they’re wrapping up out here so I’m probably going to head home too.”

“Oh! Could I- that is...” she paused, “Could I go with you? I think riding on the trains is interesting.”

You chuckled, “Sure. I think we can do that.”

She grinned looking positively excited. Cute. You pushed off the steps and headed inside.

The next few days were sports fever. It seemed to be the topic of every classroom example, lunch talk, and question. Two days in you leaned out of your office, catching Takebayashi as he was coming into the building.

“Takebayashi, may I speak with you for a moment?”

He paused for a moment and then entered the nurse’s office.

“Yes, Mx. Reader?” he pushed up his glasses, “I assume this is about your conversation with Ritsu.”

Damn word travelled fast. You were glad you’d told Ritsu to stop reading your text messages.

“Yes.”

He was blushing, badly, but his tone was measured, “She had asked me what sorts of clothing were appealing on girls. I wasn’t aware that she was considering new wardrobe options...” he faltered, looking a bit guilty, “However, I did show her examples when she asked.”

“Okay… well, I can understand the appeal of having a girl in your pocket-”

The boy went bright red.

Fuck that is NOT what you meant to say.

“I MEAN the appeal of having a girl that’s always with you and such. But please remember that Ritsu is also her own person and she is still learning how to be a person. Unlike the rest of you she didn’t benefit from growing up among others to socialize.”

He nodded, clearly still flustered.

“So, be kind to her and honest. I know that she’s very willing to help everyone but don’t abuse that willingness.”

He nodded again. Poor kid looked like he was going to have a meltdown.

“Also, how would you feel about assisting during the First Aid lessons?”

That took him by surprise, “Assisting?”

“You’re bored in my class. I don’t blame you. When your family is in a specific field of work you often end up with a lot of background knowledge that isn’t inherently something you wanted to have in the first place. Me lecturing to you is pointless because you know most of this already, am I right?”

He nodded slowly, “Yes. My parents have always been keen on having us be doctors.”

“Then perhaps you can use your knowledge to help your fellow students instead. You can help me with class presentations if you like and perhaps mentor a few of your classmates?”

His expression flickered just slightly, he normally looked a bit stoic and serious but for a moment he looked slightly relaxed, “That… would be agreeable, yes.”

“Good.” you gave him a smile, “You can head off to class if you want, I just wanted to address those with you.”

He nodded and slipped hastily out of the room.

That had gone better than you expected.

Deep down they really were all just good kids.

The next day you found yourself sitting out on the back steps again, watching practice.

“Now that you’d gotten used to my Mach 20 baseball, it’s time we study the opposing team’s strategies. To this end, Takebayashi here has been spying on them non-stop for the past three days.”

“Aren’t I the lucky one.” Takebayashi opened his laptop, showing the group what you could only assume was the results of his research, “Shindo’s pitches top out at approximately 140.5 kilometers per hour. He throws curveballs and fastballs exclusively. Fastballs 90% of the time.”

“He sticks with what he does best. At the junior high level a good fastball is the only thing you really need.”

“Precisely. Which means if we can get our heads around his fastball, we’re in good shape!” Korosensei held up a ball and glove, “So, for the remainder of practice, I’ll be slowing down my pitch considerably and imitating Shindo’s form to a T. Same stance, same force, as if the boy himself were throwing. And after dealing with the pitches I’ve been hurling at you, Shindo’s ‘fastballs’ should seem like they’re moving in slow motion.”

That… was actually kind of brilliant. You wondered what he had done for the girls. They’d had a long session with him earlier that you had missed out on due to grading papers.

“Furthermore, we can answer all these pitches by restricting ourselves to bunting!”

You had no idea what that meant but soon found out when practice picked back up. Ritsu joined you in watching and ended up explaining the technique. By bunting the ball it would let E Class’s team direct the ball where they would prefer it to go while also slowing it down. This would result in the fielders being forced to scramble to get the ball which often caused confusion amongst the other team.

You doubted you were going to memorize all the ins and outs of baseball before this tournament but it was at least good to know what your students were doing. You took a moment, rolling your shoulder. The pain from Irina’s fall on you had subsided completely but you were left with a nasty bruise that was slowly yellowing and fading away. You were grateful for that. Sleeping had been annoying as hell.

When Saturday rolled around everyone made their way down to the main campus’ playing field. Irina and Karasuma escorted the girls to the gymnasium and you found yourself sitting alone near the dugout. Korosensei was nowhere to be seen. You shot Ritsu a text.

[It’s time to play ball!]

She appeared on your screen instantly, wearing a full baseball uniform and grinning. You chuckled, “Okay, ready to watch a game?”

“Yes!”

You got yourself near the fence, propping your phone up against it with the camera angled between some of the gaps.

“Can you see okay?”

“Yes, perfect!” she grinned out from your screen. The fact that she could use the front and back cameras on your phone simultaneously was fantastic.

“Now we get to see if you and Takebayashi’s research paid off.”

She gave a determined little nod right as the intercom system crackled into life overhead.

**“And now, lastly we have the exhibition match between Class 3-E and the Kunugigaoka Baseball Team.”**

The two teams met up on center field. When they parted, the boy you now knew to be Shindo yelled to the opposing team, “Let’s play some ball!"

Your boys were standing near the fence. You saw Karma wave to someone in the distance and faintly heard “Hiya, Teach! Great disguise!” over the sounds of the crowd.

You didn’t see Korosensei or his usual disguises about.

“Where is Korosensei anyway?”

Ritsu showed a live feed of the field on your screen, zooming in, “That’s him there.”

“... the baseball?”

“Yes. At a distance he’s indistinguishable from other balls on the field. He’ll signal to the team from there.”

You… weren’t sold on that but it did seem to be working.

**“Now, top of the first inning! E Class is on offense. Batter number one, third baseman, Kimura!”**

You watched as the first pitch was thrown. Kimura didn’t swing, the ball slamming into the catcher’s mitt behind him.

**“What an amazing pitch by Shindo! Kimura from E Class didn’t even move! You could at least swing the bat! Make an effort!!”**

Nearby you heard a few of the kids talking about Shindo’s prowess in the game. There was some laughter over the announcer. What a dick.

You focused on the game.

**“Shindo winds up for his second pitch and he throws!!”**

You watched as Kimura bunted the ball and the players scrambled.

**“WHAT?! A bunt?! The ball rolled into the perfect spot, the infielders can’t decide which of them should get it!!”**

Ritsu was bouncing on your screen as Kimura took off running.

**“Well, that’s a surprise! Class E made it to first base with no outs!! SAFE!”**

You watched leaning forward.

**“Number two, catcher Shiota...”**

Nagisa stepped up to bat and-

**“This time, it’s a strong bunt along the third base line!! The third baseman moved up too far! The ball rolled right past him!! Runners on first and second with no outs!”**

“Holy shit.” you couldn’t help it, you laughed, “It’s working.”

Sugino stepped up next to bat.

**“The bases are loaded!! Shindo must be having a bad day!!”**

You watched as Sugino held up his bat to bunt. Shindo pitched and-

Instead of a bunt, Sugino _swung_. With a crack the bat struck the ball.

**“It’s a high fly ball!! It’s flying straight over the outfield!! A three base hit that cleared all the runners!! I wasn’t expecting this! Class E is leading with 3 points!!”**

“By my calculations if they continue like this they have a 90 percent chance of winning!” Ritsu was bouncing on the screen. 

There was a call for a time out and…

Was that Principal Asano on the field?

Great…

“Think he’s going to interfere?”

Ritsu did another zoom on the feed, “My lip reading software says that he stepping in to educate the other team.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Mx. Reader!”

You turned and saw the girls approaching you tailed after by Irina and Karasuma.

“Hey! Your game is over already?”

Nakamura threw up a peace sign with a grin, “We trounced them.”

“What?!” you laughed, all concerns about the current state of the baseball game forgotten, “That’s wonderful!”

“Ikemegu here scored 30 points all by herself.” Nakamura threw an arm around Kataoka’s shoulders with a grin.

“Well, yeah, she’s Ikemegu. What do you expect?” Hinano laughed.

“Ikemegu?” you looked over their faces, hoping someone would explain.

“Yeah, you know, cause she’s such an ikemen.” Kayano said.

That was a new word for you. You’d heard it in passing but-

The girls seemed to catch on that you weren’t familiar.

“You know, an ikemen.” Fuwa said, gesturing. Suddenly she switched to English. Her pronunciation wasn’t perfect, but it was charming all the same, “Cool guy?”

You laughed, “A cool guy?” you repeated before switching back to Japanese, “So, Kataoka is a cool guy?”

“She’s as good as one!” Yada spoke up, a pink tinge was coloring her cheeks.

“Yeah, she’s hot, she’s cool, she dresses well, and she’s class rep so you know she knows what she’s doing.” Hinano nodded.

You chuckled. Kataoka looked a little embarrassed but was taking it in stride, you supposed it was a side effect of being as popular as she was. She probably got talked about like this all the time.

“Good job, Kataoka.” you smiled and looked at the group as a whole, “I’m very proud of all of you.”

**“I’ve just been informed that Mr. Terai, the baseball team’s coach, fell gravely ill before the game. The players are so worried about his health that they’ve been unable to concentrate. In a selfless show of support, the principal has offered to coach the team personally!”**

The crowd went nuts.

“Lovely...”

“Holy crap, they’re winning too?” Kayano had just seen the scoreboard.

“They’re been doing good so far.” you looked out at the field, “I’m just hoping that they can keep it up.”

“Hey, Mx. Reader?” it was Kataoka, standing next to you.

“Yeah?” 

She gave a smile, “You can call me Megu.”

You chuckled, “You sure you don’t want to be called Ikemegu?”

She laughed, “That would be so embarrassing.”

“Megu it is then.”

**“After bestowing some advice upon the players, the principal has stepped back! How will the baseball team perform now?!”**

The other team advanced, crowding the infield around the current batter, Maehara.

“Um… what’s this?! The entire team has gathered in the infield! I’ve never seen a defense like that!!”

“Is that… allowed?” you asked to no one in particular.

“According to my data it is up to the umpire.” Ritsu piped up.

“You can do it Maehara!” Okano yelled.

**“There’s the pitch and looks like number five, Maehara, feels the heat from the infielders! He popped up the ball and it’s one out!”**

“The probability of their win is decreasing dramatically.” Ritsu said quietly.

You and the girls watched as the team got three more outs in quick succession.

Well, shit.

**“The third base runner couldn’t make a move! The pitcher, Shindo, has made a full comeback!”**

“Oh! I get it now, they’re supposed to be hitting the ball into the outfield right?”

You looked over at Irina. She had a guide to baseball in her hands.

“Maybe you should talk to Ritsu, she’s pretty good at making it make sense.” you suggested, gesturing to where your phone was still propped up on the fence.

Irina paused for a moment but then moved over to stare at your phone. You could hear her asking questions for the next few minutes.

It was kinda nice knowing you weren’t the only one a bit lost.

The teams had switched out now.

**“Batter number one, left fielder, Hashimoto. Sugino of Class E, first pitch. And he throws.”**

The ball landing hard in the catcher’s glove.

**“Strike!”**

The girls erupted into excited cheers and you caught yourself joining in.

The cheers only continued as Sugino struck out the next player as well.

Maybe the key to being interested in sports was giving a shit about the people involved. Who knew?

**“Top of the second! The baseball team continues their ironclad bunt strategy! Batter number eight, left fielder, Akabane.”**

You watched with interest as Karma paused before stepping up to bat. He seemed to have something in mind. Casually, he turned to face the dugout where the school’s Principal sat.

“Hey! Never pegged you as the type to play dirty, _sir._ ” Karma’s voice was loud and clear, he turned, “If the rules haven’t changed, this little gambit _ain’t legal_ . They’re bogarting the infield. Umpire should’ve called ‘em on it by now.” he turned his attention to the crowd, “Don’t you guys think it’s weird too? Oh! _Nevermind._ You guys are morons, so you don’t understand defensive positions and stuff, _do you?_ ”

There was an uproar of protest from the crowd.

Needless to say, the boys didn’t do well that round.

**“Top of the second inning, E class helplessly gives up three outs!”**

This wasn’t going well…

“Probability of winning this game… 20 percent.” Ritsu sounded defeated.

**“Shindo is on fire as he steps up to bat! Class E’s pitiful defense gives him the hit! The trajectory’s low! He couldn’t catch it off the bounce! It smacked right into the fence! Shindo makes it to second base with room to spare! It’s a double! The score is three to two! They’ve finally closed in on Class E.”**

Poor Mimura out there just could not get his hands on that ball as it rolled across the grass.

They hadn’t focused much on catching, you supposed.

Maybe Karasuma needed to give them tennis balls too.

**“Now, bottom of the third! We’ve finally come to the end! It’s the baseball club’s turn on offense and that’s it!”**

You leaned on the wall supporting the fence, watching.

Next player up to bat and…

He _bunted_.

 **“Whoa! A bunt! Payback time for the baseball team! They’re obviously more skilled when it comes to using tricks. The defense is hopeless! See, E class,** **_this_ ** **is how bunting is done!”**

Next kid up to bat…

Another bunt.

Another of the opposing team on a base.

**“No outs! Bases loaded! And the batter that’s up is our school’s superstar! Our pride and joy! It’s Shindo! Sugino is pitching. These two were rivals on the baseball team before Sugino’s demotion to E Class. Now he’s about to be humbled again in this tournament.”**

“Assholes...” you heard Irina mutter.

You had to agree.

Karma strolled up across the field, approaching Isogai and the two…

What were they doing exactly?

 **“Now, the game resumes except-”** the announcer’s voice faltered, **“Again with the tight defense positions!”**

Karma and Isogai had moved up even more so than the opposing team had before.

Karma’s voice cut loud and clear again from across the field, “Choking up the infield isn’t helping the batter’s concentration, but what’re you gonna do? Now, if the ump had called _you_ on it earlier, there’d be a precedent for telling us to back off.” he smirked, looking over at the principal, “You’re cool with this. Right, chief?”

Asano’s voice was cool and equally commanding, “Go ahead. You can’t distract a true athlete with petty tricks.”

“ _Wow!_ Duly noted!” Karma sounded practically devilish and you wondered what they were planning, “We’ll hold you to that!”

Karma and Isogai moved forward until they were standing almost within arm’s length of Shindo. Well within range to be hit by the bat should he swing.

**“They’re too close! That’s a zero distance defense! They’re standing in a position that will clearly interfere if Shindo swings the bat!”**

Jesus Christ. What were these kids doing. You were glad you’d brought your kit and god, you hoped you wouldn’t have to use it.

You wouldn’t put it past the kids from main campus to take an actual swing at them…

“An obvious bluff! Swing the bat, Shindo!” the voice belonged to Asano, “Crack a skull if need be. The penalty will go to E Class for interference!”

Oh what the fuck?

You’d known this school was fucked up but this?

Sugino pitched and-

You watched in awe as Isogai and Karma effortlessly ducked back to avoid the hit. The ball harmlessly sailed into Nagisa’s glove.

On the next pitch, Shindo tried to back up to strike the ball and it went poorly. Karma caught the ball and in rapid succession the boys got three outs.

“A triple play! The game is over… Unbelievable… E Class has won against the baseball team!”

Your entire group broke out into cheers, screams, and laughter. The rest of the crowd was cowed and you could hear their grumblings but you didn’t care.

_Your kids were the fucking best._

You watched as Sugino went to speak with Shindo, keeping an eye out for any trouble. Whatever passed between the boys seemed amicable though. You relaxed.

The boys came over, clearly in high spirits. There were rounds of congratulations between them and the girls team on finding out about their respective wins. 

Even Karasuma had a slight, uncharacteristic smile, “Good job. Glad to see your training has been helpful.”

"You all did wonderfully. We're very proud." you looked over the class.

Between the nice weather, a chance to worry about something that wasn’t life or death, and the wins? You actually felt so relieved you could almost cry.

The kids were grinning like mad. Karma smirked, "No need to get sappy on us, Doc."

“I’m not.” you laughed, “Oh and Isogai, Karma?” you gave them both a stern look, “You need to be more careful!”

“Relax, Doc, we had it under control.” Karma smirked.

“Rest assured, Mx. Reader, I wouldn’t have let them get hurt.” Korosensei had materialized in your midst, dressed in his usual disguise.

“Hey, what happened to keeping a low profile?” Karasuma gave him a half hearted glare. Most of the crowds had already cleared out so the danger of anyone noticing something off was low.

“What sort of teacher would I be if I let my students get hurt.” he chuckled, narrowing his eyes at Karasuma.

Karasuma seemed willing to let it go with that.

“Now, shall we head back?” Korosensei looked over the group, “I do believe we have something to celebrate.”

There were cheers all around. You scooped up your phone, Ritsu was just as excited as the rest.

What a day.

When you’d made it back up the mountain, everyone was tired but happy. The kids changed into their normal uniforms and Korosensei declared that the last class of the day would be a free period. From somewhere, he procured popsicles and soon everyone was sitting around the classroom enjoying the treats.

You noticed, to your amusement, that even Karasuma was indulging.

“Boys and girls I am very proud of your achievements today and you should be too.” Korosensei chuckled, “I do believe that was an overall win for E Class.”

“I thought Shindo might piss himself when we moved in at the end there.” Karma grinned, “If I’d gotten beaned it woulda been worth it to see his face.”

“I’m glad no one got hurt.” you gave him a look.

“It’s okay, Mx. Reader, we knew what we were doing. Mr. Karasuma was right, all the training really has been paying off.” Isogai gave an apologetic smile.

You sighed and gave a nod, “You did well.”

“The girls were also amazing.” Irina gave a smile, “I heard some talk with the other students. They don’t seem to understand why they’re in E Class if they’re so good.”

The girls’ eyes lit up.

“So, think you know a little more about baseball now, Irina?” you chuckled, looking over at her.

“Barely.” she gave a long lick of her popsicle gaining a few stares from the boys… and the octopus, “It’s still confusing. Basketball’s just as bad.”

“Why haven’t you learned any of that if you seduce people?” Yada asked suddenly, “Wouldn’t it be good to be able to talk on multiple topics?”

Irina smirked, “In my experience, men tend to like it better if they get to explain sports _to_ you. Most of them don’t expect women to be knowledgeable on the topic. There’s a few things like that. So, it’s much easier to just go...” she stood and went over to Karasuma, putting a hand on his arm and leaning against him, “Oh, you’re _so_ smart! Tell me _more_ about different ways to use a _bat_.”

Her intonation on bat was highly suggestive of using something else entirely.

Karasuma didn’t look impressed. You’ve never seen someone so efficiently eating a popsicle before. He glanced down at her, “Are you done?”

She rolled her eyes, “Yeah, yeah.” she stuck the popsicle back in her mouth.

You were perched on a desk, leaning against the wall. Most of the class was in a similar state of relaxation. The room was hot, a little stuffy, the fans moving the air about. The popsicles were cool and sweet and in the wake of everything that had been happening?

It felt like a perfect goddamn day.


	38. Inked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustrations to come.

Morning. Hot, gross, summer morning. You shut off your alarm, sitting up. You went through the motions, folding the futon, choosing clothes for the day… you paused to check yourself out in the mirror. To your satisfaction, the bruising was nearly gone. Just the slightest tinge of yellow remained.

You looked at the calendar hanging next to your mirror. July.

Fuck, had it really been two and a half months? You did the math in your head.

Yeah shit, you’d come in halfway through April.

Two and a half months.

Nine months counting this one left then… or eight… March. They said March.

Eight months left.

Damn.

Okay, this line of thinking didn’t help you. 

You looked back over to the notes on your mirror.

_"I'm not dead yet and neither are you. Let's live life to the fullest! Remember: The wind is rising! We must try to live!”_

He was right.

Eight months.

Make them good ones.

You grabbed some summer appropriate clothes and headed off to the shower.

You were extra early. Even by normal standards. You had hoped you’d beat the heat. But you were wrong. Of course you still weren’t earlier than your smiling co-worker. You heard him before you saw him. He was humming something chipperly. You tried to distinguish the tune but you weren’t sure what it was. Korosensei was already in the faculty lounge, fiddling around with something at his desk. He must have been pretty engrossed in it because he didn’t hear you as you entered the room. It was then you realized what he was doing.

More paper cranes.

You bit your lip, trying to suppress a smile.

He was so focused. You knew he could fold those things in seconds but he seemed to be making a considerable effort to make sure they were perfect.

As you took a step in he jerked in surprise, spotting you finally. A flash of pale blue flickered across his face.

Oh…

You hadn’t meant to upset him.

He instantly went back to his usual yellow, “Reader… you _startled_ me.”

He sounded surprised by it and then you realized.

Of _course_ he was.

How many times a day did you see him dodging a student’s bullet or blade? How often did you see him spot something or hear something that no one else did?

He must have really been caught up in his thoughts if _you_ had surprised him.

“Sorry.” you gave him an apologetic smile and crossed the room, taking a seat next to him, “I didn’t know if anyone was going to be here.”

There was something to how he held himself. He seemed unsettled by what had just happened.

“I was trying to come in early because I hoped it’d be a little less hot but… well, no luck there.” you continued.

“Quite.” he nodded, finally relaxing just a touch, “Unfortunately there won’t be much reprieve from the heat as I understand.”

“Greaaaat...” you groaned, then turned your attention to the cranes in front of him, “New additions?”

He went pink, “Oh! Ah, yes, I was going to-”

“Leave them at my nurse’s office desk again?” you propped your chin up on your hand, smirking.

“Am I that predictable?!” he seemed alarmed.

You laughed, “I mean, that is your M.O.” you reached across him, stealing a sheet of origami paper and setting to work on your own crane, “You’re always leaving stuff on my desk.”

The pink deepened, catching your eye.

Oh…? Was that about what you’d said…?

You looked back to your crane. Nah. There was no way.

He was probably still flustered about being startled. 

“Well, you often do the same.” he pointed out.

“Not really, I tend to give you things in person.” you shrugged.

There was a long pause where he simply watched you while you folded the crane. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence per say but there was… something to it. You couldn’t put your finger on it.

You popped the newly made crane upright on your desk, “Clearly, you’re just too horrifically embarrassed to give me things in person.” you gave him a grin, joking, “I’m just _too_ charming.”

The pink didn’t leave his face but he did laugh, “Of course. I’d be mortified!”

You laughed and sat back, looking over the cranes, “You could probably make these instantly...”

He gave a nod, “I could.”

“Why don’t you?” you looked at him.

“Because it would defeat the purpose.” he picked up another sheet, folding it precisely, “The students have started this project. They should be the ones to finish it. The same goes for my assassination.” he smoothed one of the creases carefully, “I can assist but I won’t do it for them.” he chuckled, “After all, what would be the point of being a teacher if I did?”

That was true…

“And besides that,” he held up the new finished crane, “Some things are worth taking time for.”

He placed it in your hands gently.

Something about that struck you in a way you hadn’t expected.

Eight months left. If he destroyed the Earth that would mean himself too, wouldn’t it?

And if so…

That meant he was using some precious time from his eight months left to fold these little paper cranes.

“Nurufufufu~ I see your detective face again.”

You bit your lip for a moment, “Just wondering why you’d waste time on these... ”

There was something to his expression, the slightest flicker of blue, “I don’t see it as a waste at all. Sometimes there’s something worthwhile in symbols, Reader.”

You were both leaned in, looking at the crane in your hands.

“What’re you two conspiring about?” the voice belonged to Karma. You’d left the faculty lounge door wide open.

The both of you jumped in surprise, looking up at the boy. You nearly flung the crane across the room in your panic.

“Oh-oh it’s nothing! We were just having a discussion about origami!” Korosensei stammered.

You held up a crane, “Making a few more for the collection.”

“Oh yeah… Nagisa mentioned that. I’ll have to make a few. See ya in class, Teach.” he seemed a touch skeptical of the two of you but made his way to the classroom.

Korosensei rose, going over and shutting the door.

“Sorry about that.” you chuckled a bit, “You’re a little off your game today huh?”

He looked at you for a long moment, “I suppose I am.”

“Better get on the ball. Don’t want to miss our trip because you got yourself stabbed.” you gave him a small smile.

He chuckled, green stripes around his face, “You assume a little stab would end me.”

That made you relieved. He was back to normal.

“I should go greet the students.” he chuckled, standing, carefully he moved the cranes to your desk.

Eight counting the one you had made.

“I’ll come with you.” You stood up with a smile.

“I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you.” he opened the door only to be face to face with Karasuma.

The man gave him a nod and made a quick motion which Korosensei dodged easily, “Is that any way to say Good Morning?!”

Karasuma sighed and headed into the room, “Good morning.”

You chuckled, “Morning!”

Irina was just entering the building as the pair of you made your way to the classroom. She had a cup of coffee in hand and looked put out. You wondered what she’d gotten up to over the weekend.

“Good morning, boys and girls!” he ducked into the classroom.

You gave a wave as you followed behind him. There was a chorus of greetings and you could see that you weren’t the only one dressing for the weather. The students had switched to their summer uniforms.

“Oops… I forgot we were wearing short sleeves from now on.” the voice belonged to Sugaya and came from behind you, “I didn’t want to reveal… my left arm… which has been sealed by the gods...” 

Turning, you saw the boy standing there in his short sleeves, a complicated tattoo spiraling up his arm. You couldn’t help but laugh as his dramatic reveal. The class, however, was in an uproar instantly.

“Sugaya?!”

“WHAT GIVES?”

You looked between him and the other kids a little baffled. Was henna against the rules or something?

Sugaya laughed, “Relax guys. It’s not a real tattoo. It’s dye.”

Hinano came over, looking at his arm with interest, “Wow! So it’s just paint?”

You leaned against the wall, listening.

“It’s called mehndi art.” Sugaya explained, “Once the pigments take, it won’t come off for about a week.”

“That’s that Indian henna stuff, right?” it was Karma approaching.

“What do you know about it, Karma?” the voice belonged to Fuwa.

“My parents are Indiaphiles. They get one of those temporary tattoos every time they go there.” he chuckled.

Well… Suddenly the boy’s name made so much more sense.

When you looked over at Korosensei you saw him sitting with a pile of books on the podium. From what you could tell they were all about delinquents and child criminals. He looked up from the two he held, “I’m glad to hear that. For a moment, I thought we had a juvenile delinquent in our class!”

You laughed, “Why? Because of a little ink? I mean, I’m not a delinquent.”

All eyes instantly focused on you.

Oh… dear.

“You have tattoos Mx. Reader?!” Kayano sounded positively scandalized.

You shrugged, “A couple of small ones, yeah.” You could already see the kids eyes roaming over you. You laughed, “What?”

Korosensei’s cheeks were tinged a bright pink, he cleared his throat, “I’m surprised you weren’t aware, Mx. Reader. You’ve been here awhile...”

“I uh… don’t get out much I guess?” apparently this was a big deal, whatever it was.

“Tattoos have a long running association with organized crime here. It is quite the stigma.” Korosensei was staring at you intently.

You tried not to laugh and shrugged a bit, “That’s… that’s wild to me. Where I’m from they’re pretty normal.”

“If they’re under clothing it’s more acceptable but there are certain hot springs and resorts where people with tattoos are barred entry.” Korosensei nodded.

Well… that did explain the stares. Might as well get this over with.

“I guess you guys want to know what they are and where huh?” you chuckled.

The class immediately looked embarrassed at being called out so thoroughly but there were several admissions from the group.

“Okay, brace yourselves I guess?” you smirked and turned, rolling up your sleeve to show off the tiny trail of stars there.

Some of them looked disappointed, you supposed because it wasn’t somewhere more interesting.

“And I have this one, but I guess it makes sense no one’s noticed it...” you turned, tipping your head down to show off a small pale tattoo on the back of your neck.

You heard some of the kids approach.

“What is it?” you could hear Okajima in the group.

Nakamura’s voice carried a question, “It’s a… semicolon?”

“Yeah, it’s done in black light ink. So it doesn’t look like much right now but if you shine a black light on it-”

There was a click and you could see the familiar trippy blue light of a blacklight illuminating your shoulder.

Of course Korosensei has one on hand. There were some gasps of surprise and you laughed, “Cool right?”

“You mean we could have _secret_ tattoos?” Kayano asked.

“I mean, it’s a thing.” you shrugged.

There were a few minutes of the kids checking out your tattoos. There was a certain novelty in it for them you supposed.

You were just grateful no one was asking about meanings.

“You want me to draw one on you too, Korosensei? I still have henna paste left.” Sugaya pulled a few tubes out of his bag.

_“Oooh, really?!”_ he sounded as excited about this as he did candy most of the time.

You were grateful that the attention was off of you. The students were clustered around, watching Sugaya work. You joined them, interested in how this would play out.

Would his plan work?

“Hmm… the paint looks a little like chocolate icing.” Nakamura was leaning in for a look.

Sugaya set to work.

The octopus was in high spirits, “This is going to be so much fun! I’ve always wanted to see what I look like with a tattoo!”

“Weren’t you just really concerned about other people having them?” you asked with a laugh.

“Well, yes but culturally it’s-” his eyes went wide, or as wide as they can, the spot where Sugaya had begun to apply the paint was _melting_. The side of Korosensei’s face was beginning to drip and liquify.

“AAAAARGH!” he screamed, the kids screamed, you would have screamed too if it wasn’t for the ridiculousness of it. Given how much Korosensei was flailing and how quickly he darted to the other side of the room, you assumed he was fine. It’s not like he wasn’t known for his dramatics.

“I get it. You ground anti-sensei bullets into powder and mixed them into the paint.” Sugino chuckled, “Smart move.”

“He totally had his guard down! But I don’t think he’ll sit still long enough for it to kill him...” Okano sighed.

“Hmmm...” Sugaya looked your way, making a face, “It didn’t work...”

“It was a good idea, though, Sugaya!” Korosensei had finally calmed himself, his face solidifying, “But really nothing more than a prank.” and just like that he was pouting, “Besides, I really want you to draw a cool pattern on me!”

“I’m sorry! Here, I’ll draw something on you using the regular paste.” Sugaya offered.

And that’s how first period turned into an impromptu tattoo salon.

It wasn’t long until everyone was sporting henna arm sleeves. Korosensei, meanwhile, had some floral decorations on his head and cheeks.

The door slid open to reveal Irina, dressed, somehow, even more scantily than usual.

“Feast your eyes on my beauty and scream, boys! Good Morni-” she cut off into a shriek of surprise as she saw the state of the classroom, “WHY ARE YOU ALL COVERED IN TATTOOS?”

Sugaya looked up at her with a smile, “Oh, Um… they asked me to draw something on them after watching me work on Korosensei.”

Korosensei was amused, sitting by the podium, “After the pigment settles into your skin, you peel off the paste. I don’t feel like teaching class today because I can’t wait to see what the final product looks like!”

“And you call yourself a teacher?!” Irina was staring at him.

“By the way, Sugaya, I want to try drawing on someone too.” Korosensei gestured.

Sugaya looked up at him awkwardly, “That’s fine but I’ve already worked on everybody. We don’t have any blank canvases left…”

“Oh but I think we do.” Korosensei was eyeing Irina.

“OH I DON’T THINK SO!” she shouted, backing up.

You laughed, “I volunteer as tribute?”

Korosensei looked over at you in surprise.

“Well, I mean I haven’t been inked up yet aside from what I already have.” you shrugged holding up your arms.

Sugaya looked over, “Oh! Sorry about that, Doc!” he passed a tube of paste over to Korosensei.

You took a seat, “It worked out.”

Irina made a hasty exit as the octopus turned his attention to you, henna paste in hand.

You spoke quietly to make sure the students didn’t hear, “If you draw a single dick on me I swear to god-”

“Reader! I would never!” he sounded positively scandalized. You didn’t fully believe him.

You sat still, watching as he began to draw on your arm. 

That was definitely a goofy little octopus he was drawing.

Because of course he was.

“Sugaya!” the voice was Ritsu’s, “Could I participate?”

Sugaya looked over at her in surprise and then at the henna in his hand, “Uh… I’m not sure this would work on you, Ritsu...”

“I have a solution! On your phone!” she looked excited.

Sugaya pulled out his phone and looked at it, Mobile Ritsu appeared on the screen, “You could use your screen and draw designs on me!”

Sugaya looked at his phone for a moment in surprise then laughed, “Yeah! Yeah, sure I can do that!”

He sat down at a desk and set to work, some of the other students crowding around to watch.

A few had joined you and Korosensei as well.

“Oh that joke is terrible, Sensei.” groaned Hazama.

You looked down at your arm to see the progress. What had started as one octopus had turned into a comic panel with a caption.

“What does it say?” you craned your head trying to see.

“What do you call two octopi that look exactly the same? Itentacle.” Sugino read off, “That _is_ pretty bad.”

“You can’t judge art!” Korosensei fumed.

“Hey, so did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?” you asked, casually.

Korosensei looked up at you.

You gave a grin, “He got inked.”

The students groaned and Korosensei laughed before going back to work.

“Are you just going to draw manga all over them?” Sugino asked, watching.

“Well, I’ve never been talented at art or fashion so I decided to draw something I was good at.” Korosensei replied.

“I think it’s cute.” you looked down at your arm. More octopus nonsense was being drawn.

“How’s that Ritsu?” Sugaya asked.

“I love it! Could you do the other arm too?”

“Sure!”

“I’m glad Ritsu’s fitting in so well.” you looked at the other kids, “I understand she’s on everyone’s phones now?”

“Yeah. It’s actually pretty handy.” Sugino grinned, “She keeps me updated on game scores and we talk baseball.”

Hazama smirked, “We watch horror movies together.”

“Really?” you chuckled, “How does that go?”

“She gets scared for the characters but I think the whole death concept for people is a little odd for her. Like she understands what it is but like… surface level?” she shrugged, “I’m working on it.”

Sugino looked over at her, “You meet an AI with freewill and the first thing you want to do is teach it about death...”

“Hey, she’s the one programmed for assassination.” Hazama chuckled, “She asked about it so I figured I’d show her some horror stuff.”

“Seriously, Korosensei?” Nakamura was leaning over his shoulder now, “You octopi my thoughts? That’s the _worst_ one.”

You glanced down, it was a small doodle of two octopi holding hands with one saying that.

“Mx. Reader already said they like them.” Korosensei huffed.

“They’re cute.” you affirmed, “Oh hey, Nakamura, Ritsu said you two have gone shopping.”

“Yeah, actually.” Nakamura smiled, running a hand through her hair, “It was fun. She gets to see new things and she can run little speculations of what you’ll look like wearing outfits so you don’t even have to try things on.”

“That’s really cool. She’s really meshed with the classroom.” you looked down at Korosensei’s work, more octopi.

“Thanks to yours truly of course.~” he had green stripes about his face as he spoke.

“How do I look?!”

You looked over to Ritsu. On her screen she was showing off two full flowery sleeves, grinning.

“Amazing!” Hinano said with a grin.

“I agree.” Takebayashi pushed his glasses up, a tinge of color in his cheeks.

Man… he really did have it bad for the computer.

“There we go. I think that’s one arm finished.”

You looked down to see even more octopi puns.

“Adorable.” you lifted your arm, looking them over.

Korosensei caught your eye and you suddenly remember the last time you’d said that to him. You felt your blush rising and adjusted, offering him the other arm, “Go nuts.”

He chuckled and went to work.

When all was said and done you had two sleeves of ridiculous octopi puns. Sugaya surrounded the panels with fanciful tentacles.

“Jeez, you really just covered Mx. Reader with that stuff?” Karma looked at Korosensei and back at you.

Korosensei fumed, “Karma, I’ll have you know Mx. Reader _appreciates_ them!”

“They’re very cute.” you stood up, looking them over, “So, do I look like a criminal even if I’m covered in octopus puns?”

“Well, no, it’s temporary!” Hinano laughed.

You laughed, “Okay, but can you picture a big, tough, scary yakuza with this on his arms?” You showcased for effect and Hinano giggled.

“Okay, maybe not.”

“That’s everyone yeah?” Sugaya asked, looking around.

“I think so.” Nagisa was admiring the sleeves Sugaya had given him.

“Let me grab my phone. I’d like to get some pictures.” you said, getting up.

When you peeked into the faculty lounge you found that Irina had nodded off at her desk.

Guess that coffee hadn’t helped…

You snuck over, grabbing your phone and headed back across the hall. You snapped a few photos from the doorway of the kids milling about with their new decoration.

“Could you guys like, get together for a group shot?” you held up the camera.

“But what about you?” Ritsu piped up, “You should be in the shot too!”

“Uh...”

“Let me! Just prop your phone up on the podium! I can take the photo!” it was… Ritsu, but on your phone.

“Okay, sure...”

The kids clustered around Ritsu’s main terminal and you joined them. Korosensei leaned over the back of her case, grinning as always.

Peace signs were flashed and pictures were snapped. You retrieved your phone.”Oh, wow! Ritsu these look great!”

“I took care to select the best ones.”

“Too bad Miss. Bitch didn’t want to get in on this.” Nakamura said.

“I think she’s kinda wiped, she’s asleep at her desk.” no sooner than the sentence left your lips did it occur to you just how much of a Bad Idea it was to tell this class that.

When you looked up the faces around you were practically devilish. Ohhhh boy…

Korosensei immediately headed across the hall, you followed. Irina was still asleep at her desk, Karasuma nowhere to be seen.

Korosensei’s grin widened and he peeked out into the hall, “Oh Sugaya.~”

“You are _terrible_.” you looked over at him.

“Whatever do you mean, Reader? What sort of lovable scamp would I be if I didn’t pull a prank every now and then.” he chuckled, green lines circling his face.

Sugaya came into the room and the other children crowded around the door. Korosensei held up a finger to his grin, indicating silence.

Swiftly, he and Sugaya set to work.

“She is going to kill you guys when she wakes up.” you whispered, watching.

The kids by the door were stifling giggles.

You watched as Irina’s new decor just got worse and worse. Glasses, mustache, comics, floral patterns. It was a mess…

“Guys, that stuff doesn’t come off for a week, she is really going to murder you.” you hissed.

“It can be washed off somehow but it’ll be tough...” Sugaya didn’t sound very sure of himself.

“Well… maybe she’ll like it.” Korosensei said with a chuckle.

Irina’s eyelids fluttered open and she started, looking around, “Way to be creepy. Why are you all looking at me like that, I-”

She had just caught a glimpse of her arms.

Ohhhhh boy.

That was not a happy Irina face. Her expression shot right past the _Look_ and directly into outright bloodlust.

Without a word she rose and stormed out of the room.

“I don’t think she liked it.” you said before hearing a scuffle in the hall. 

“LET ME AT ‘EM, I'M GOING TO ASSASSINATE THIS WHOLE CLASS!”

Karasuma was holding her back, was that a gun in her hand? Jesus.

“Irina, I can’t let you do that.”

“THEY’VE RUINED MY SUMMER FASHION DEBUT!”

“If you wash off right now then the pigments won’t settle into your skin, Professor Bitch!” Sugino called.

With that, she bolted to the bathrooms.

Just another ordinary day in E Class.

It didn’t really occur to you the _impact_ of the henna staying on for a week until you got on the train. You got a few looks, you supposed since you were foreign there was a bit more forgiveness but they were certainly not entirely comfortable with your decor. Even with the octopi puns. Hm…

When you got to your apartment building you were grateful to see that the main halls were empty. You made your way upstairs and as you rounded a corner onto your floor there was a small surprised scream. You looked up to see Mrs. Konda, a little older woman who lived a few doors down from you.

“Mrs. Konda! It’s okay!” you held up a hand, trying to calm her, “It’s me, Mx. Reader?”

She clutched at her chest lightly and took a breath, “Mx. Reader! You… you startled me...”

She seemed to be trying to be polite. You gave her a gentle smile and then bowed, “I’m so sorry for startling you, Mrs. Konda.”

“It’s… alright.” 

You straightened, “This is just paint. My students brought in temporary skin dyes today to class.”

“Oh...” she brightened a bit, “Oh! How lovely! How are they doing, your class?”

“They’re wonderful. And your sons?” you had gathered a little bit of knowledge about your neighbors. Not much but enough to hold a passing conversation. At least with the people closest to your apartment.

“They’re well.” she gave a nod, “I’m out to buy some ingredients for dinner, actually.”

“Oh! Don’t let me keep you then!” you gave another bow, “Have a good evening!”

“You too.” she bowed before heading down the stairs.

Hoo boy…

That was going to happen a lot this week...


	39. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost called this chapter Daddy Issues.  
> [Korosensei's POV is over here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/50407646)  
> So, my PCs graphics card failed. New one is arriving on Friday. This means I'm basically writing from my phone because I can't do work without the PC.  
> Also, to the lovely person who deleted their comment and thought I wrote These Are Our Days? Bless your face because I love that fic so much and it's rad to hear someone thinks this is similar.

Heading up the mountain, you shrugged out of your overshirt. You’d thrown one on this morning since you’d rather not kill any little old Japanese ladies with your ridiculous new tattoos. 

It was stupidly hot. You felt like Korosensei had looked yesterday with Sugaya’s assassination attempt. Melting.

And the heat was affecting everyone. Korosensei looked positively wilted. Irina was sprawled in her chair in front of the fan. You noticed that she’d managed to get a good portion of the henna off of her skin. There were definitely a few lingering doodles though. Karasuma had his jacket off and tie loosened. At least it wasn’t just you. 

The heat was also bringing up tempers a bit. Irina was being exceptionally whiny this morning and it was beginning to grate on both you and Karasuma’s nerves badly. Second period was a blissful break from Irina’s complaints about the heat but when it ended she came back into the room and flung herself dramatically back into her chair.

“I could be in an air conditioned resort with an ambassador to kill but nooooo I’m stuck on this godforsaken mountain teaching brats how to say _refrigerator!_ ”

“You had the opportunity to quit last month.” Karasuma was giving her _the Look_.

She didn’t care.

“Yeah well that was before this place became hotter than Satan’s taint.”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, “Look, _no one_ is happy with the heat, Jelavich.”

She looked over at you, raising her eyebrows, “Yeah? Then I’m just saying what we’re all thinking so what’s the problem?”

Normally you’d drop it but sitting in a puddle of your own sweat was not making you feel agreeable, “We’re already thinking it so you bitching about it is just the worst sort of background noise.”

“ _What the fuck does that-_ ”

“Hey!” Karasuma was looking between the two of you, irritated, “The heat is a pain. We all get it. But we can behave like adults here...”

Irina huffed and got up, “Whatever.”

With that, she left.

Karasuma was giving you _the Look_ but nah. Not today Satan.

You went to the tiny fridge where the four of you occasionally kept drinks or lunch.

Good. The ice packs were still there. You took one out.

“What are you doing?” Karasuma looked beyond tired.

“She says she’s hot.” you went over to her chair, placing the ice pack in the seat before pushing it back in.

For once, in the entire time you’d known him, you saw a flicker of something cross Karasuma’s face under the irritation. The barest ghost of a smile.

_The Look_ was firmly back in place a second later.

“... I’m not saving you.” with that he got up and left the room.

That was probably the closest you’d ever seen him get to assisting with nonsense in the office...

You went over to the nurse’s office. You still needed to update the crane tally with the ones from yesterday.

_Total: 52_

_Left: 948_

Hm… they would need to pick up the pace if they wanted this done by March…

There was a small window of time between the next class and you heard a few of the kids in the hall.

It was followed by heels clicking on the wooden floor.

Oh here it goes. You couldn’t help but grin.

In this heat Irina paid less attention to her surroundings than usual so-

There was a shriek followed by-

_“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!”_

You stifled a laugh, peeking out into the hall. You heard her storm across the lounge and you suddenly remembered, in vivid detail, yesterday’s outburst.

Karasuma wasn’t here to hold her back.

You darted across the hall into the classroom. A few of the students were hanging about. They looked at you in surprise.

"Hide me!" You ducked behind Korosensei. Thinking quick you lifted his robe, pressing flat against his back beneath it.

"Reader!" His voice leapt an octave or two in surprise.

"Just get her to go away? Please?"

First you heard her storm across the hall, then the door to the classroom slammed open.

“Where the FUCK is Mx. Reader?”

“Miss Irina! Language!” Korosensei sounded amused, but distracted.

“Oh don’t fucking give me that.” you heard her shifting around in front of him, “My ass is WET thanks to them and I’m going to-”

“Nice panties, Professor Bitch.” Okajima shouted from the back.

“SHUT UP YOU LITTLE PERV!”

Oh my god.

_You’d forgotten she wore white skirts._

You covered your mouth, trying not to laugh.

“Well, I can assure you, they’re not here.”

There was the sound of further movement and the door opening and shutting.

“And as you can see...” he continued, “It’s nearly time for class to start.”

She gave a frustrated shout and you heard her storm out of the classroom.

You stayed where you were as motionless as possible for a few moments. Your face was buried in a pressed white shirt, the robes enveloping you like a tent. He smelled like rain soaked earth, books, and a slight hint of sugar. You’d be more flustered except it was like being in a damn oven with this heat.

"She's gone."

You lifted the back of his robes and he carefully smoothed them back in place. He was a bright pink.

"Reader, please, at least _ask_ before getting under my robes."

"Sorry…" you made a face and felt a blush creeping into your face. You could hear some laughter from the class.

"Frankly, I'm surprised. I would think you'd be more respectful." his grin widened, the pink fading and green rings taking its place, "after all, you are the one who lectured me about _consentacles_."

You groaned, “Come on, she’s already going to try to kill me before the day is over at this rate.”

He chuckled, “I suppose you’re joining us until lunch then.”

You paused, “I guess so...”

“What did you do, exactly?” Nakamura asked.

“They performed a miracle is what they did!” Okajima certainly _looked_ like he’d seen God.

Well… at least someone was happy with you.

“She’s been complaining about the heat so I put an ice pack in her chair.” you pulled over one of the rolling chairs at the side of the room. You’d taken to leaving a spare in here for days Korosensei observed your classes.

“Bless you...” you were Okajima’s hero now, you guessed.

“Well,” Korosensei chuckled a bit, “If that’s all out of the way, let’s delve into the exciting world of Algebra, shall we?”

_Lovely…_

Well, serves you right for messing with Irina you supposed.

There was a bit of cloud cover that afternoon and a touch of a breeze which helped significantly with the heat outside. You were back to warm up routines now that the bruising had cleared up on your shoulder, followed by stretching and laps. Karasuma had been discussing possibly teaching you basic self defense as well. You knew a small amount, but not enough to be entirely effective. Though, at the moment you weren't sure how much you would need it.

As you ran your laps you watched him training the kids. They were downright frightening if you were honest. Running at him, knives drawn and ready. And yet he countered every time. The man was a regular powerhouse. You'd learned what to watch for with the kids. How to tell when someone needed a hand up or needed medical attention.

Karasuma was careful with them while still pushing their limits and you appreciated his care. These were kids still, after all.

There was a sudden yelp and you looked to see Karasuma throwing Nagisa bodily across the field.

That did _not_ look normal. You immediately ran over.

Karasuma did the same.

"Sorry! I blocked too hard. Can you stand up?"

Nagisa smiled, rubbing his head a bit, "Oh, I… I'm fine, no worries.”

He looked a bit sore, but none the worse for wear as he got to his feet. Sugino had joined him, "Hey man, you gotta pay more attention… eyes on the target, remember?"

"Yeah… " the boy made a face, "I'm gonna feel that tomorrow…"

You relaxed a bit.

The kids were discussing their inability to hit Karasuma and how his guard was always up. You were still surprised half the kids could get _close_ to him in a fight, nevermind _hitting_ him.

"Okay! That's it for P.E. today!" Karasuma called to the class.

"Hey! Mr Karasuma! Let's go get some tea in town after school!" Hinano was waving him down before he could head back inside.

"Thanks for the invitation, but the ministry of defense is going to contact me after class." He made his way up to the building. The kids seemed disappointed.

"He even keeps his guard up in his personal life…" Sugaya made a face.

"Actually…" Yada sighed, "it's like there's a wall between us. He keeps his distance from us all the time."

"He's super cool and everything and like, in class, he's strict but fair… but I don't know… I know he cares about us but maybe that's just because he _has_ to?" Hinano sounded way more disappointed about this than you expected.

You opened your mouth to speak and stopped. You remembered how when Korosensei had threatened to leave, you had been the only one willing to stay.

Korosensei stepped up, "Not at all. True, Mr. Karasuma is an agent sent here to assassinate me. But the spirit of a teacher flows through his veins as well."

The door to the schoolhouse slid open… but not because of Karasuma.

A large, jovial looking man stood there, his arms loaded with bags and containers, "Hey! Hey! Karasuma!"

The kids were immediately interested. He made his way across the field.

"Another teacher?" Hinano asked to no one in particular.

The man had a huge smile and his tone was friendly and relaxed as he spoke, "Yo! My name's Akira Takaoka and I'm here to give your gym teacher a hand! Pleased to meet'cha gang! Now, whaddya say we have some fun?”

He eyed the henna stains on the kids arms and chuckled, "My, my, don't you all look tough!"

There were some embarrassed laughs from the kids.

He sat the bags down on the grass, "I brought snacks! Dig in!"

_Another_ teacher huh? You guessed you were going to have to permanently move your shit into the nurse's office. That kinda sucked. But the dude seemed nice enough…

He rolled out a blanket.

This was turning into an impromptu picnic.

Not a bad way to make a good first impression.

The kids were curiously opening the boxes.

"These are eclairs from le Hermes!" Fuwa’s voice was full of reverence.

"And Monchichi’s Swiss rolls too!" Kayano was ecstatic.

The selection was swiftly unpacked.

You guessed these were well known. They looked good, of course, pretty fancy actually, but uh-

"Sir, aren't these sorta pricey? Are you sure?" Isogai faltered a bit, torn between clear interest and financial concern.

Shit kid, you'd been _there_ before.

"Yeah! Chow down, kiddos! I didn't break the bank so we could stare at these babies all day!" He sat cross legged in front of the spread, huge smile on place.

You joined the class. It was nice to take a load off, honestly.

Karasuma seemed less than thrilled about the help but then again, that could be because it was another smiling face in the office. This guy seemed like he might be the type be kid around.

You offered him your hand, "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Takaoka, I'm Mx. Reader, the Health Education teacher."

He grabbed your hand enthusiastically, giving it a firm shake. This hand nearly engulfed yours. This guy really was huge...

"Hey! Nice to meet'cha! Good to see another friendly face!"

You wondered if this would be another Irina situation. After all, the government wouldn't bring in another dead weight into this assassination would they? That's pretty much what you were as far as the mission was concerned…

"Now!" Mr Takaoka clapped his hands together, " I don't want you getting the wrong idea here. I'm not trying to bribe you guys, I just want to get to know you quickly. And eating together is the best way to do that!"

"How come you know about all these premium sweets?" Yada asked, taking a spoonful of pudding. Expensive pudding, you guessed.

"Honestly, when it comes to me and sugar? It's love.."

"You're pretty adorable for someone so huge…" Sugaya laughed.

"So, are you going to be Mr. Karasuma’s new assistant or something?" Nakamura was navigating her way around an oozing eclair as she spoke.

"I'll actually be taking over his classes for the time being. He's got a lot of paperwork to catch up on!"

You took a bit of the Swiss roll you'd selected and paused.

Karasuma?

Behind on paperwork?

The man was literally at his laptop for 90% of the day.

How?

Korosensei has arrived, leaning in to investigate the sweets spread out on the blanket. You tried not to laugh but he was practically drooling at the sight of them.

Takaoka looked over and flashed him a huge smile, "Ah! You must be Korosensei! I've heard good things. Please, help yourself! Don't wanna die on an empty stomach." He barked out a laugh.

That was all the prompting the octopus needed. He began picking out options.

This Swiss roll was fantastic. The drinks he'd brought along weren't bad either...

"You know, sir, for being colleagues, you and Mr. Karasuma are like night and day." Kimura looked pretty excited about this new teacher.

To be fair, most of the class did.

"He's nice to us and all, but you're like the neighborhood dad." Hara said with a smile.

He laughed jovially, "'Dad.' I like the sound of that!"

With a grin he looped an arm around Mimura and Nakamura's shoulders, "We're in the same classroom, so that makes us family, am I right, gang?"

The kids were all grinning. You guessed after Karasuma's quiet moods and patented _Look,_ Mr Takaoka was a breath of fresh air for them.

"So you're going to take over our PE classes until Mr. Karasuma is caught up?" Nagisa looked up from his eclair

"Yep! Those are my marching orders from the brass at HQ. But don't worry! Like I said, we're family. Trust 'Daddy'. Leave everything to me!" He thumped his chest in a show of confidence.

You were guessing he latched onto the daddy thing to build rapport with the class. It did seem to be working.

"Hey, do you know anything about sports, Mr. Takaoka?" Sugino took a drink of the bottled water he had with him.

More loud laughter from Takaoka, "How about I show you kids a thing or two!"

And with that he and the boys started up a loose game of soccer.

You finished your slice of Swiss roll and looked to the schoolhouse. The girls were all on the blanket or the track watching the soccer game. Korosensei was not too far from you, actually, working his way through a slice of cake and beyond that, Karasuma stood in the doorway of the school looking dark and brooding.

Weird. Maybe he was sour about being told to catch up on his work?

How the hell was he behind on work anyway???

When the bell rang the kids packed up and headed in. You followed, making you way to the faculty lounge. You were met by a very disgruntled looking Irina leaning against the wall.

She did not look pleased to see you.

"Hey, uh… sorry about earlier…"

She made a face, "Oh shove it."

That's when you noticed…

She was holding one of the ice packs to her neck.

So… she had ended up using them after all. You wisely kept your mouth shut about it, but inside you were amused as hell.

You grabbed your usual seat for the moment. Korosensei glanced over.

Karasuma and Takaoka strolled in. Karasuma's stance seemed stiff and on edge. Takaoka, meanwhile, was relaxed and casual.

"I was observing your training session, Karasuma, is that all you've managed to teach the students in three months?! It would take a soldier in the army only a month to reach their level." Takaoka was leaning casually on the window sill.

"Well, that's not very realistic for kids though…" you countered.

"Don't compare them to career military troops." Karasuma looked at him, his eyes narrowing, "Don't forget, they're just regular junior high students. If I had worked them harder it would have interfered with their studies "

"Whatever." Takaoka laughed, "It's the future of the world that's at stake here, you know!"

And just like that, your opinion of the man plummeted.

You remembered Itona...

"Look, Karasuma, what you need is some passion." He pulled out a photo from the inside pocket of his jacket, voice chipper as ever, "A drill instructor's gotta put his heart and soul into teaching! That's what makes his students learn even if the training gets a little rough."

The photo he showed was of himself and several army recruits smiling for the camera. Then men were shirtless and well built.

"Training that's a little rough for adults in that physical condition can be damaging to kids." You looked over at him.

"But the alternative is them dyin' in a year." He shrugged, "I think a little pain now is a fair price to pay."

You disagreed but could tell arguing the point would get you nowhere.

He pulled a few snacks out of his jacket, chocolate bars, lollipops and the like, and tossed them on Korosensei's desk, "Ready or not, Korosensei, I'm gonna turn your students into top notch assassins a heck of a lot faster than Karasuma." He chuckled and strolled out of the room.

The octopus immediately tore into a candy bar, "What a sucker!"

Karasuma sighed, "You realize he just bought you off with candy, right?"

Korosensei chuckled, "I'm sure that _he_ sees it that way."

"Are you sure about this? There's something awfully fishy about that guy." Irina's tone was sharp, irritable.

"Can't say I'm a fan either." You looked over at Karasuma, "At what point will it be too much, Karasuma?"

Karasuma remained silent for a long moment and cast a glance at both you and Irina. He didn't look like he was happy with this situation either.

Korosensei rose from his seat, moving to the window and opening it, "You insist on making your own decisions about PE class, so I'm not going to weigh in about this replacement. But, personally, I feel that you, Mr. Karasuma, are the right one for the job."

And just like that, he was gone, rocketing out the window at Mach twenty.

No one spoke much after that, opting to head their separate ways home. Maybe the government needed to make contracts for the _other_ teachers not to harm the students…

At the next day's PE lesson you arrived a bit early. Perhaps you could have a talk with Mr. Takaoka about his training methods. You were surprised to find Karasuma already there with him. He seemed to be having a tense discussion with his replacement.

"Oh Mx. Reader, I don't think we'll be needing your services for this lesson." Takaoka gave a bright smile as he caught your eye.

You were reminded of Shiro suddenly. 

You leveled your gaze at him but carefully kept the edge out of your voice. With a smile you said, "I'm sorry, you didn't know? I participate in these sessions."

He narrowed his eyes and looked to Karasuma who nodded, "Medic has to be able to keep up with the team like everyone else."

Takaoka nodded, smile back in place, "Sure! Sure!"

Something about his eyes made you uncomfortable. He was no longer looking at you as a fellow teacher. You felt more like a piece of meat in a butcher shop...

The students were meandering over to start class. He smirked over at Karasuma, "I think that's your cue to leave, buddy!"

Karasuma's eyes flicked to you for a moment, you had a feeling he wanted you to keep an eye out. You gave him a small nod. With that, he headed back to the school house.

The kids were in good spirits and immediately took their seats on the grass. You stood nearby, watching as you usually did.

"All present and accounted for?! Okay! We'll be starting our new and improved PE class today!" He gave a smile. You noticed, however, that a certain redhead was absent. Before you could say anything, Takaoka pressed on, "Now, things are gonna be a little tougher than usual, but stick it out like the champs I know you are and we're talkin' more sweets!"

"That's just an excuse to eat sweets yourself, isn't it?" Nakamura grinned.

"Nope, nope. Don't wanna ruin this girlish figure." he patted his stomach.

The kids laughed.

"All right! We need to come up with our own personal cheer. When I say '1, 2, 3' you all shout victory and make a V sign with your fingers." He was animated and cheerful.

"Whoa… That's so dated. And a rip-off too." Sugino chuckled.

"Shut up!" Takaoka's tone was similar to Korosensei's mock offense, "It's not a rip-off, it's an homage!" The kids spent the next few minutes ribbing him about it. In the end, talk of a personal cheer was set aside until after the first lesson supposedly to 'see how we work together first'.

You had a feeling he was just fed up with the teasing.

So far so good… maybe this guy wouldn't be terrible after all.

"Okay then, along with your new training regimen comes a new schedule!" He brandished a sheet of paper, passing the handouts to the class.

"A new schedule?" Sugaya asked, accepting a handout.

There were sounds of disbelief from the class. Takaoka handed you a schedule with a smirk and you suddenly understood why.

"Are you kidding?!" Fuwa looked at him, incredulous.

Isogai was just staring at his paper, transfixed, " _Ten_ periods a day…?!"

"Wait, we're going to be training until nine PMT?!" Nagisa's mouth fell open in shock. 

"That's the idea, little grasshoppers! And if you can keep up think of the payoff! This curriculum will turn you into lean, mean killing machines! You're gonna love it!" He clapped his hands together.

"This doesn't look feasible for the kids, Mr. Takaoka." You looked up at him, "Did the school approve this?"

He gave a belly laugh, face still smiling, "Of course! I've received permission from the principal. He said he was reluctantly compelled to allow it, since the safety of the world is at stake. Now, let's start with-"

"Wait. Hold up, hold up." It was Maehara, getting to his feet and approaching Takaoka, "This is ridiculous! First off, this is school. Our grades are gonna plummet if this is all the time we have left to study! That's why Principal Asano allowed it! We're not even going to have free time for our families or personal stuff, we can't-"

Takaoka, smile never leaving his face, brought a hand up and shoved Maeharas head down, bringing his knee up into the boy's stomach.

The boy dropped like a sack of potatoes coughing.

"'We 'can't' nothing. You _will_."

Oh fuck no.

"It's like I said: were a family and I'm the dad. Show me a family where the dad ain't in charge and I'll show you a family in crisis."

Oh FUCK NO.

You stepped forward, Isogai was seeing to Maehara and you took a little pride in noticing that your lessons were paying off. The boy was doing exactly as you taught him. 

"Mr. Takaoka, what the _flying fuck_ are you doing?"

He flashed you a smile, "Mx. Reader, I'll thank you not to interfere with _my_ class."

"These are _children_."

He chuckled, ignoring you, and looked out at the kids, "If this is too much for you, then go ahead and quit! I'll have my people at HQ send in replacements. I've trained dozens of incredible soldiers. I'm sure that octopus won't run off if a couple of you get replaced. That said, I'd much rather see you stick it out. A father loves each of his children unconditionally. The thought of losing even one of 'em breaks his heart" he strolled around the group and threw his arms around Mimura and Kanzaki, you bristled as he gave you a smile, "We're gonna save the world kids, and we're gonna do it as a family."

He looked over to Kanzaki, "Well? You'll do as Daddy says, won't you?"

Kanzaki stood and you began heading her way.

"Actually, sir, to tell you the truth… I prefer Mr. Karasuma's class." She gave him an apologetic smile. You could see what was coming from the look in his eyes but you didn't reach him in time before he slapped Kanzaki off of her feet. Sugino and Nagisa rushed to her side.

"Looks like we're having a little communications gaff. The only answer here is 'yes'." He still had that goddamn smile on his face. You immediately put yourself between him and the kids.

"If anybody else needs a dose of Daddy's medicine, Daddy Dearest will be happy to oblige!" He was winding up his arm as if to throw a punch.

You were seeing red. How fucking dare he? Stepping in front of him, you leaned in until you were chest to chest with him. His expression was amused and fixed as you spoke. It was a tone you didn't use often, a few times on your old job but never quite like this… 

_"If you lay another hand on these students, I will personally gut you like a fish."_

He looked at you with utter amusement for a moment before stepping back. You relaxed a touch, before realizing _he wasn't stepping back to_ _back down_.

The realization came a moment too late.

His arm swung up, elbow striking you heavily in the face. You staggered back, falling to the ground. You heard ringing… you brought your hand up to the white hot pain in your face, feeling something warm running down your cheek. Tears came to your eyes and now you literally saw red.

There was blood on your palm.

You heard Karasuma's voice distantly but couldn't make out what he said.

Takaoka leaned down, grabbing you by the front of your shirt. 

"I'd _love_ to see you try!" He proclaimed.

He was still smiling.

You pulled yourself away from him. 

"Hey!" It was Karasuma, "Look, they're a fellow teacher, you-"

"Yeah? Well apparently they sit in on these sessions so that makes them _just_ as good as a student. Besides, I'm going easy on them. They are my precious family after all!"

"No. They're not your _family_ . They're my _students_ and that is my _friend_." Korosensei's voice was dangerous as he put a hand on Takaoka's shoulder.

"Korosensei!" You could hear the children's relief in their voices. 

He was a brilliant red… Or was that the blood in your vision? You needed to do something about that…

Taking off a sweatband you pressed it to the gash you felt on your eyebrow. 

No… He was definitely red…

"Just what have you been up to while my back's been turned?." You'd heard that tone before. He'd used it with Shiro.

Takaoka turned, smile still in place. He chuckled, "Sorry, big guy. This isn't your class. You teach your subjects, I'll teach mine. As the new PE teacher _I_ have complete authority over their physical education. Nothing I've done falls outside of acceptable corporal punishment."

"On what planet?!" You snapped.

It went ignored.

"I gotta train these kids to kill _you_ and that doesn't leave me a lot of time. I don't have the luxury of going easy on them. So what are you gonna do about it? Attack me? Over a dispute about educational philosophy? Cause if that's what this is then you just don't care for the way I _teach_."

This _wasn't_ teaching. This was abuse. You went to say something but felt yourself hauled up by strong arms. Karasuma looked at your face. You couldn't help the anger boiling in you.

"Is it too much yet?"

He sighed, "We need to get that taken care of."

"Like fuck am I leaving these kids here."

Takaoka looked at the kids, "Alright boys and girls! Time to show me how tough you are! Three sets of a hundred squats! Line up quick, you don't want to keep Daddy waiting!"

Before you could protest you were half-hauled back to the schoolhouse by Karasuma.

You refused to go inside, sitting on the back steps to watch. Korosensei joined you as Karasuma emerged with a first aid kit. A pen light was flashed in your eyes as Karasuma went through the basics to rule out concussion. Was this what it was like being on the other end of things? You waved him off when he was done, taking some gauze and pressing it hard to your cut to stop the bleeding "I don't have a concussion, I'm just _pissed_."

Korosensei offered you a damp cloth. You wiped at your face carefully. You heard the distinct clicks of Irina's heels behind you. She'd come to witness the shit show you presumed.

"The man will crush those children, body and spirit." Korosensei's voice was softer than you normally heard. "He's right, I don't care for it but civility dictates that I let him teach as he sees fit. That's why I'm counting on you. You're on par with this fellow are ya not? I need you to shut him down." 

"If you don't, I will." You said sharply.

"Fat chance of that happening." Irina snarked.

"You will _not_." Korosensei's voice was sharp.

You looked over at him. His smile was neutral but it felt more like a grimace.

You knew it would be a bad idea.

You knew you'd get your ass handed to you.

But better you than these kids.

You heard the kids giving complaints but one voice rose above the others.

Hinano.

"Mr. Karasuma... Please…"

"Karasuma ain't part of our family, doll-face." Takaoka approached her, "Someone needs a lesson."

You were about to get to your feet but Karasuma beat you to it.

"Disrespecting Daddy makes him very angry!" Takaoka's fist came up and was immediately seized by Karasuma.

You let out a shaking breath.

"That's enough. If you want to get violent, get violent with me." Karasuma, it seemed, had finally decided it was too much.

"Ah! There it is. I was wonderin' when you were gonna step in, old buddy. What's the big deal? Who are you to criticize how I choose to teach? It's like I said: this isn't violence, it's education. I don't want to engage with you through violence. If this is something you an' me need to settle like men, then we do it as teachers. Here's what I propose. Cherry pick your star pupils out of the students you've trained by your methods. Set 'em on me and if their knife so much as grazes my aura, I'll concede that you're a better instructor than me." He moved to his bag, digging about in it, "No fuss. No backpedaling. I'll pack it in and leave. We won't be using these though." He waved a rubber knife in the air before tossing it over his shoulder, "No, sir, we won't."

He whipped out a deadly looking knife, serrated along one side and gleaming sharp on the other. He drove it through the rubber blade on the ground, "When the object is to kill a human being, you can't rely on toys. So we'll be using the real deal."

Karasuma looked taken aback, "This is ridiculous! These kids haven't been trained to take down a real human being, and you know it!"

"Don't get all concerned citizen on me, they ain't gotta kill nothin', just come close. And I'll do you a solid by defending myself empty-handed. What're you waiting for? Pick yourself a champion. Or save us the headache and agree to let me run this show from now on!"

He tossed the blade down where it embedded itself in the dirt.

Karasuma pulled it from the ground and turned to the class.

There was no way he was considering this… Right?

"Nagisa. You're up."

There were protests and sounds of disbelief from the kids.

You moved to get up again and a tentacle pressed down on your shoulder. 

"Trust them, Reader."

You clenched your teeth, breathing slowly.

"I know you don't think you should step in, but if that boy gets hur-" you looked over at him.

"Mr. Karasuma and myself will _not_ let that happen. But remember: What is the point of being a teacher if we do it _for_ them?"

Karasuma was speaking low to Nagisa. You watched as the boy took the blade.

Oh god…

He stepped up, stretching, knife held firmly between his teeth. Takaoka laughed, "Oh, come on. This twig? Eyes must be goin' in your old age, Karasuma."

Irina spoke up for the first time since coming out to watch, "What would possess that dumb bastard to pick him? This is gonna be a train wreck."

Korosensei's voice was brimming with knowing amusement, " Patience. You'll see. Mr. Karasuma has made the right choice. Under the circumstances I would have chosen Nagisa too. At any rate this fight will end quickly."

He sounded so sure…

Takaoka whipped off his jacket readying his fists, "Ready when you are!" 

Nagisa took up a stance with the knife out before him first, then dropped his hand to his side, smiling.

What…

He strolled forward until he was within chest of Takaoka. The man seemed baffled. He clearly didn't expect this.

The same way you didn't expect what happened next.

The boy sliced upwards and the man stumbled back in a sudden panic. With a solid yank on his shirt, Nagisa had the man on the ground. He swung around, pivoting on one knee until he was flush with Takaoka's back, legs over his, the back of the knife to the man's throat.

"Looks like I win." The statement was brimming with confidence.

There was nothing but stunned silence for a moment before Nagisa, in momentary panic asked, "Wait, was I supposed to use the back of my knife?"

Korosensei approached and took the weapon from the boy's hand, "I'll take that, thank you. Now, I do believe that settles it, Mr Karasuma."

He bit into the knife as easily as a stick of Pocky, "Outrageous! Giving one of my students a real knife! Have you lost your marbles? He could have been hurt, or worse!"

The kids trotted over as Nagisa untangled himself from his stupefied target. You rose to your feet, joining them. 

There was relieved and happy laughter and congratulations. Nagisa look embarrassed by the attention, "Easy, guys. Let's not make a big deal out of it, okay? I just did what Mr. Karasuma told me to, that's all. Mr. Takaoka is really strong. I knew I wouldn't be able to scare him at all if I didn't really slash at him with the knife."

Maehara stepped up to the boy and slapped him across the face.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"Sorry, uh… I just needed to make sure that was you." He threw and arm around the boys shoulders with a grin, "Sincerely, though. That was awesome! That whole ordeal was a total rush!"

"That smile you got on your face right before you got him… you don't look like one but you're quite the killer, Nagisa!" Nakamura was flashing the boy a grin.

You spotted Korosensei hanging on Karasuma's shoulders, he looked positively delighted.

There was a shuffling sound and you watched as Takaoka rose to his feet, face contorting in rage, "You ungrateful punks! I was like a father figure to you! How dare you defy me?! Why celebrate a lucky win like that?! Hope it was worth it 'cause Daddy's about to rip you apart mind, body and soul!"

You moved to intervene and so did Karasuma, you faltered when you saw Korosensei lay a hand on Karasuma's shoulder and shake his head.

_Trust them, Reader._

You took a breath, watching.

_What is the point of being a teacher if we do it_ for _them?_

"Not gonna lie, if we went for a round two, I'd lose." Nagisa was looking up at the man he'd just bested, face open and full of his normal gentle demeanor, "But I'll tell you something. Whatever you do, you're not the boss of us. Mr. Karasuma is our PE teacher. That won't _ever_ change. When you try to be our dad it just makes us feel like children. Mr. Karasuma may come off as all business, but he treats us as equals. He's approachable, he's cool, and he's got nothing to prove. Thanks for trying, but he's the Class Dad." The boy bowed to Takaoka.

You moved to join Karasuma and Korosensei, on the way hearing Irina asking Takebayashi and Okajima, "If he's Class Dad then what does that make me?"

"Eye candy." Both boys said in unison.

She started yelling at them immediately.

Hadn't you just had that talk with Takebayashi?

Whatever, it could wait.

"The greatest joy of being a teacher, Mr Karasuma, is when a student provides a clear answer to a question you yourself were troubled by. To teach is to confront such answers head on." Korosensei still had his hand on Karasuma's shoulder as you joined them. Then, without warning Karasuma bolted, intercepting Takaoka making another attempt to injure one of the children .

"If a student gives a clear answer the teacher must acknowledge it." Korosensei said softly.

"I'd like to apologize," Karasuma began, looking around at the children, "for all the trouble my colleague has caused you. Don't give him another thought. I'll negotiate with my superiors to have things put back the way they were. I'll get their authorization at gun point If need be."

The kids were staring at him in open adoration. You finally removed the gauze from your cut. The bleeding had stopped, you'd need to bandage that….

Takaoka began to protest and a smooth voice cut through it, "You won't need to attempt negotiations."

You turned to see Principal Asano strolling down the steps from the schoolhouse.

"How may I help you?" Korosensei asked.

Asano waved a hand, " I trust you'll forgive the intrusion. I came to see our new hire in action." He knelt down, looking into Takaoka's face, "And it must be said, your methods were nothing short of a _travesty_."

Pot meet kettle much?

Well, you supposed Asano wasn't physically attacking people, so there was that…

"Granted, fear is the engine of education, but a teacher able to instill fear only through violence is nothing but a brute. And I do not employ brutes. Your method is ineffective because the moment you are defeated by greater violence than your own you lose your authority." He stuffed a rolled paper into the man's mouth, "This is your letter of dismissal. You are no longer authorized to teach here. The Ministry of Defense does not call the shots here and I intend to keep it that way. This is my school and my school alone. Remember that."

Takaoka viciously chewed his papers. Leaping to his feet he grabbed his bag and fled the schoolyard.

"I see the principal's as confident as ever in _his_ methods." Korosensei said, not entirely displeased but not quite joyous either.

"That makes one of us at least." Karasuma said.

"Uh?" Korosensei turned to him and you did the same.

"What if Nagisa said he wanted to be an assassin when he grew up? Could you lead him there with a clear conscience?" Karasuma's tone was softer than you'd heard before, laced with a worry you didn't know he had, "I don't think he realizes it yet, but he's got what it takes."

"That's certainly a tricky one, I'll give you that. Alas, such dilemmas come with the territory." Korosensei held up a hand, cradling three Morning Glories still on the vine, "Every teacher secretly frets over whether the path he sets his students on is the right one. But he points the way to the best future he can see for them. Questions of right and wrong are often open-ended. We ask them but the students must live their own answers." He plucked a blue blossom from the vine, tucking it into his teeth, "The pleasure of seeing them do so is what makes this job exhilarating!"

The kids clustered around, they seemed to be negotiating going out for food with Karasuma. Kanzaki, Sugino, and Maehara approached you.

"Um… Mx. Reader… Thanks for standing up for us out there. We're sorry you got hurt. Can we help?" Kanzaki had fetched the first aid kit.

You still hadn't properly bandaged this thing.

You had to laugh, "Guys, that's _my_ job."

"Yeah but you're training us so why not let us practice?" Maehara grinned.

You sighed, they had a point, "Fine, fine."

You ended up sitting on the steps again.

"Mx Reader, you're a pacifist, why did you threaten him like that?" Maehara was passing Kanzaki a damp cloth.

"Just because I don't want to kill people doesn't mean I won't fight someone." You struggled not to scrunch up your face as she wiped it down. 

"You threatened to gut him like a fish..." Sugino paused in the middle of pulling out a bandage.

You laughed a little, trying to hold still so Kanzaki could apply the ointment, "Bold of you to assume I can't do that non-lethally."

You gave them a grin.

They looked horrified at the idea.

But right now you couldn't think of someone more deserving of the treatment.

"Geez, doc you need to relax." Maehara laughed, "You're not the only one watching out for us you know."

That gave you pause. You stared at the three of them.

_The greatest joy of being a teacher, Mr Karasuma is when a student provides a clear answer to a question you yourself were troubled by._

"You're right…" You gave them a smile, "I should have a little more faith in everyone."

Sugino grinned, "You coming out with us to eat?"

"Probably not today… that knock to the head has me a bit off the idea of going out. Tell you what, I'll bring something in for lunch tomorrow."

Kanzaki looked a little worried, "Are you sure?"

You gave a nod and they rejoined their classmates.

"Mx. Reader, a word?"

You looked up to see Korosensei standing beside you. You were surprised, him passing up potential free food was a rare occurrence.

The expression on his face was...

You couldn't make it out. But there was something grim beneath that grin.

"Sure…" You got up, packing up the first aid kit. You headed to the nurse's office, putting it away. Out the window you could see the last of the kids heading down over the crest of the hill.

You turned and found him standing in the doorway. You moved over to your desk, "What is it?"

"We need to talk about your behavior with Mr. Takaoka today." His voice… there was a quiver to it. What was that?

"What about it?"

"You shouldn't have tried to interfere. The man is clearly unstable and-"

"And those are our students. I wasn't going to just let him do that to them." You gave him a look.

"You can't protect them if you're injured or killed."

"Like you wouldn't do the same?"

"I'm unkillable, _you aren't_." The quiver in his voice was becoming something else...

"That might be true but that won't stop me from throwing myself in front of a bullet for those kids."

His stance changed and his features distorted

You were suddenly slammed against the wall, his face black and teeth bared in a snarl. You flinched but stared him down.

"If your life means so little I will _gladly_ relieve you of it."

Fear ran through you, your arms going numb and the bottom of your stomach plummeting. You felt your heart pounding in your chest. Your nightmare from before came rushing back to you...

Bringing a hand up, you wrapped it around the tentacle pinning you to the wall only to find...

It was _trembling_.

Realization dawned on you. You'd seen this act before…

He was _bluffing_.

So, you summoned up your best imitation of Karma, "You're acting like I want to throw myself off a bridge."

"If you refuse to _defend_ _yourself-_ "

"Who said anything about refusing to _defend_ myself?" Your eyes narrowed.

"Look at the position you are in." He growled.

You leveled your gaze at him, a mix of feelings consolidating in your mind, sharpened and gleaming. You weren't afraid anymore now that the initial shock was fading. Too much didn't add up.

" _’I would never do anything to cause harm to any of you_.’ That's what you said to me early on here. And while deception is a key to assassination there's one important fact I know."

"And what might that be?"

"I am _not_ your target." You thrust the idea forward as swiftly as one might thrust a knife.

He let you go, face reverting to it's usual yellow, his smile still seemed grim.

"That is not something you should rely on, Reader. Betrayal is a common practice."

You couldn't help but laugh, "No shit. You've forgotten something though."

"And what is that?"

You gave him a smile, bringing your dagger of thoughts back around for another strike, "I'm not _afraid_ of you, you doofus."

He faltered.

"Like, look, I know you're scary and all that but like… you look like a prefecture mascot and I've seen you freak out over candy too much to _really_ be scared of you." You grinned, "That face was pretty good though. And you were getting _real_ Shakespearean with that talk of relieving me of my life."

He covered his face in embarrassment, "Reader!"

"I get what you were trying to say. The kids put it in perspective for me today. I need to trust all of you more. We're all here for the same reason, to teach these kids. I shouldn't take that danger all on myself. I know my life is worth defending." You reached up and pulled one of his hands from his face, "But I _trust_ you. You haven't given me any reason _not_ to."

He went pink. 

You were pretty sure you'd gone pink too but this was important and you wanted him to understand.

"You've never dropped me. You've cared for me. You've cared about our students. You…"

You paused taking a breath, his eyes staring at you were starting to get to you, "You've been _wonderful_ . Why would I _ever_ think you could hurt me?"

There was the slightest of shudders through him. You were suddenly pinned against the wall again. Your heart raced. What was he doing?

His face leaned in close and you stared up at him. There was half a moment of the two of you just breathing, staring at one another. Then he tipped his head forward, forehead gently touching yours.

Tentacles enveloped you, bringing you into a tight hug.

"Thank you for that, Reader…" his voice was filled with an emotion you couldn't place.

You squeezed him tightly. His heart was pounding in his chest and you could feel it…

_Old books and summer rain..._

He released you, stepping back. A blush was coloring his cheeks. He adjusted his cap and tie, clearly flustered by his outburst. 

"Well… ah… I imagine you want to be getting home... " His tone was almost panicky.

"Yeah, probably a good idea… uh… See you tomorrow?"

"Of course!" He seemed fidgety, distracted as he responded.

Then he rocketed off and you leaned back against the wall with a sigh. God… for a second there you thought he was going to… something. Kiss you... maybe? You didn't know but you _absolutely_ needed to cool off for a minute. You rubbed at your cheeks trying to get your blush to fade. You winced as you knocked the bandage on your brow with a knuckle. You had a great track record for the Health Education teacher. One injury a month so far.

You sighed.

He _wasn't_ going to kiss you, that was a _stupid_ thought. That wasn't the kind of relationship this was.

_Keep it to yourself, don't get your hopes up, and say nothing_.

The mantra was becoming harder to hold to. 

You _wanted_ to talk about him, _wanted_ to get your hopes up…

You _wanted_ to tell him.

Oh fuck.

_You wanted to tell him._

_Shit._


	40. ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to do the pool chapter here but instead let's cool down another way first.

The next day, you came into the nurses office and immediately noticed something.

The Bird’s Nest was full.

What the… 

You pulled the delicate birds out of the box, laying them out on the table.

27

… 27.

In the bottom of the box was a note.

_Mx. Reader,_

_After yesterday we thought you could use these._

_P.S. Stop getting hurt!!! You’re the MEDIC._

__-E Class_ _

There were signatures, doodles, and stickers decorating it.

You felt tears prickling at your eyes and laughed.

After yesterday? You almost couldn’t stop laughing.

It was a _relief_.

You pulled out a new post it note.

_Total: 79_

_Left: 921_

You were one away from the next strand…

“Morning.”

You looked up to see Karasuma standing in the doorway.

“Morning...”

He came into the room and glanced over at the table, raising an eyebrow for a moment. Then turned his attention back to you.

“I think I need to clarify something with you, Mx. Reader.”

“What is it?”

He looked you in the eye and, unlike many times people had done that before, you didn’t feel uncomfortable with it. For the first time since you’d arrived you felt less like a child being judged and more like an equal.

“I know that we don’t always see eye to eye on the student’s training and the assassination approaches taken in this classroom.”

That was an understatement.

“But, I want you to know that I’m not going to let anything happen to those kids. You’re right. There is a point where it goes past acceptable limits. Mr. Takaoka crossed that line.”

Damn…

Damn seriously?

You took a breath, “And I’m sorry.”

He looked at you in surprise.

“I realized yesterday that I need to be putting more faith into you and the rest when it comes to taking care of these kids.” you looked down for a moment, “This is an unconventional classroom and it operates in ways I’m not used to. Seeing kids in danger… it can be hard. I need to have more trust in them… in all of you.”

His expression softened, just slightly, something around the eyes.

“I guess we both learned something yesterday then.”

You chuckled a little, “Wish it was a lesson that didn’t end with me looking like a prize fighter...” you gestured to the bandage and surrounding bruise, “At this rate my neighbors really _are_ going to think I’ve joined some octopus yakuza.”

“Hm.” he sounded just the slightest bit amused at that.

That was a win. You’d take it.

“Hey… Karasuma?”

He raised his eyebrows a bit at the address.

“Do you think you could start teaching me self defense?”

Surprise broke up that normal stoic look of his, “Yeah?” it was like a switch was flipped, you saw an _actual smile_ on his face.

What?

Was that _really_ all it took? Well shit, you wish you’d known _that_ earlier.

“Yeah. Keeping up with the kids is good and all but I don’t want to end up in another situation like yesterday. If I can’t stop my dumb ass from running in I can at least prepare for the fight I’m running into.”

His response carried another tone. A tone you hadn’t heard from him before.

Respect.

“We can do that. We’ll review the current routine today and get you started next class.”

You gave a nod. Yesterday was a shitshow, but today felt like there had been progress. Like debriding a wound or lancing an abscess. 

"Oh, and here." Karasuma held out a hand, something folded pinched between his first two fingers.

What was this? A note?

You accepted it and realized.

It was a paper crane made from gray paper with a pinstripe print.

"The children insisted I join in. There were talks of mutiny in the PE classes so I opted to do my part."

You laughed, of all the goddamn things…

"Well, thank you. I never expected to get one from you."

He gave the slightest of smirks, "Irina's going to lose that bet, hm?"

You laughed harder, "I guess so!"

With a nod he headed back to the lounge.

What a good goddamn morning…

You looked over to the collection of cranes on your desk.

You had a project for the day.

You updated the note.

_Total: 80_

_Left: 920_

When you came into the faculty lounge, you sank into your chair-

And immediately jumped up with a shriek.

That was-

You looked at your seat.

A half melted ice pack was sitting there. Your ass was soaked.

You looked across the table. Irina was laughing, looking smug.

You couldn’t help it, you laughed too.

Karasuma, meanwhile, looked at you both like you were nuts but when he turned back to his laptop you saw the flicker of a smile.

You didn’t even care that you were soaked.

God… what a GOOD day.

You had class today… but your pants still weren’t dry.

Well, it wasn’t conventional but…

You changed into the lower half of your gym suit, laying your pants over your chair to dry in the nurse’s office.

It was then that you realized that one particular person had been strangely absent most of the day…

Well… when class switched out you’d probably see him…

Right now you had something to prepare for today’s lesson...

When you entered the classroom there was an outpouring of greetings. You laughed, “Hey! How is everyone doing today? Better?”

There were nods and affirmations. Kanzaki and Maehara looked none the worse for wear after yesterday.

You paused, “Where’s the octopus?”

“He shot outta here when he heard you coming.” Karma shrugged, his classmates must have updated him on yesterday's events, “Maybe you scared him after yesterday. Fish, octopus, not so different right?”

You rolled your eyes, “Very funny.”

“No, he really did dash.” Muramatsu confirmed.

Weird…

Well, you could think about that later. Right now it was time for...

You help up some papers, “Who’s ready for a pop quiz?”

“After yesterday?!” 

You chuckled, “Learning doesn’t stop just because of one bad day.” you passed the papers out, “Please keep these face down until I tell you to start. Now… before that, there are some thanks in order...”

The kids looked up at you.

“Top marks to Kanzaki, Sugino, Isogai, Nagisa, and Maehara for yesterday.” you smiled at them, “You all stepped up and used your training not help not only your fellow students but also myself. Thank you and great job.” You gave a smile, “And thank all of you for the cranes. Between you and Karasuma we now have two strands.”

You hadn’t expected quite the response you got. Everyone’s eyes lit up, grins all around.

Minus Terasaka. He still looked pretty surly, as usual. You wondered if something was bothering him. You might have to check in with him…

“You got one from Mr. Karasuma?!” Hinano was grinning and leaning forward.

“Sure did. Which means I’ve gotten one from everyone… minus Itona, of course.” you paused for a moment, realizing that this meant Ritsu had also made one… you kinda wished you’d been there to see that, “Now… if you’ll turn over your papers...”

There was the shuffling of pages and the students stared at the quizzes in surprise.

“Uh… Mx. Reader...” Nagisa looked up, a little confused, “Did you get your papers mixed up?”

You smiled, shaking your head.

“Um… this isn’t about first aid...” Kimura said quietly.

“It’s not.” you agreed.

The kids looked between you and their papers for a long moment. You gave them all a smile, “Go ahead. I’ll be ready when you’re done.”

You took a seat at the podium, opening your folders and looking through your next lesson plan.

It didn’t take long before Sugaya approached, putting his paper down on the podium. You gave him a smile and he gave a nod with one of his own before heading back to his seat. You scanned over the quiz in front of you. It was decorated in swirls and doodles. You smiled.

_Sugaya Sōsuke_

_What is your favorite and least favorite subject?_

He’d written _Art and Math_ with accompanying doodles of a painting and a calculator.

_What do you want to do for a career?_

His answer was as you expected…

_Something in the field of arts. Maybe installation art?_

_What do you love best about E Class?_

_Art is an asset. Not a problem. Being strange doesn’t make you worse than anyone. It just makes you different._

That was probably your favorite part of the classroom too, if your were honest…

Minus one ridiculous octopus.

_What’s your favorite sweet flavor?_

_Apple._ He’d doodled apples around the question and various snacks. Cute.

_Is there anything bothering you? This won’t be shared with anyone._

_Everything is good, Doc. Thanks for asking._

With a little doodle of himself giving a peace sign.

The papers came in quickly and you tucked them away. With a grin you leaned on the podium.

“Congrats. You all aced it.”

The kids laughed a little, still looking confused.

“No offense, Doc, but uh… what was the point of that?” Hazama asked, leaning back in her chair.

You chuckled and stepped out from behind the desk, looking out at all of them, “I know a little about all of you already but you’re my students and I want you to know I’m here if you need me.”

“Well duh!” Nakamura laughed.

“Yeah uh… Mx. Reader, no offense but we kind of _can’t_ forget that.” Nagisa looked apologetic, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“You hover more than a helicopter parent.” Nakamura joked, propping up her chin with her hand.

You couldn’t help it. You laughed, “Okay, okay, I know…”

You paused, taking a moment.

How the hell had it only been two and a half months?

You had a surge of fondness for the kids in front of you.

“Knowing more about you, about what you like and what you might be going through, it helps me to help you.” you said gently, “Every last one of you is exceptional. Every last one of you is strong, capable, and brave. You wouldn’t be in this class if you weren’t. I know that this school targets you, that they treat you poorly. I know you’ve been taught that your skills weren’t useful. If there’s one thing aside from first aid that you take from my class, let it be this.”

Curious and expectant eyes were on you.

“Grades are not the yardstick by which we judge worth or character. Human life has worth _regardless_ of the money you make, the things you are able to produce, or the work you can put in. _You, as a human being, have inherent value._ ”

You could feel tears prickling at your eyes again. God dammit. You continued on.

“ _Never_ forget that and never let others lead you to believe that isn’t true.”

“Jeez, Doc, we get it you don’t gotta cry about it.” Karma joked.

The students laughed and you did as well, wiping quickly at your eyes, “I’m _very proud_ to be one of your teachers.”

There was an amicable pause before Nakamura spoke up, “That cool and all but can I ask a question?”

“Shoot.” you smirked.

“Why are you in your gym pants?”

You laughed.

“I was wondering that too!” Yada exclaimed.

“Irina’s revenge.” you shrugged a bit then, before more questions could be asked, you clapped your hands together, “SO, who's ready for the _real_ pop quiz?”

There were groans and you laughed as you pulled out the second stack of papers. You _loved_ this job.

You took your files back across to the nurse’s office, peeking into the faculty lounge as you went. Still no octopus.

That’s it, he was actively avoiding you. There was no way he was out of sight for this long. He was an _eight foot tall yellow octopus_ for Christ sakes.

He didn’t like showing his serious side. Maybe he was worried you were mad about yesterday? You were pretty sure you’d made it clear that you weren’t.

You remembered the look on his face the second time he’d pressed you to the wall…

OKAY. You rubbed your face, trying to massage away your blush. You didn’t need to think about _that_ right now.

But that did bring something to mind from yesterday…

_“See you tomorrow?"_

_"Of course!"_

You pulled out your phone and set down your papers in the office. You shot him a message:

[Hey, you hiding out or something? (￣□￣」)] 

He was teaching Home Ec so you doubted you would get a response. You set to work on threading the next set of cranes and your phone buzzed. You leaned over, looking at it.

[No, of course not!]

Uh huh, sure.

[Liar. (↼_↼)]

[ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ] You snorted, trying not to laugh.

Another buzz right after that one.

[m(. .)m Perhaps I was a -bit- embarrassed over my outburst yesterday.]

Called it.

[What? Worried I might be scared you would -relieve me of my life?- (`皿´＃)]

You heard a horrified shriek from… was that outside? And lost your mind laughing. It was _definitely_ him. You could hear the students talking and laughing and you wondered how exactly he smoothed _that_ outburst over.

[Reader! You are interrupting my class!!! (#｀ε´# )ゞ]

[I’m not the one who screamed! ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿]

At that point you took pity on him, shooting him one last message before stopping, [Lunch today?]

Your phone buzzed, [We’re actually preparing a special class lunch in Home Ec! You’re welcome to join us out front! ♨(⋆‿⋆)♨]

Out… front? Were they grilling or something?

[Sure.]

You quickly finished off the strand, tying it off and hanging it up next to the first one. You smiled. Not bad for two months…

When you came outside you found the students standing around a length of split bamboo, setting it up on blocks.

“What’s all this?” you watched them arranging things, a hose was being routed to the top of the bamboo trench they had.

“Nagashi-sōmen!” Kayano grinned, “Flowing noodles, have you ever had them?”

You shook your head slowly.

“It’s gonna be fun, trust us.” Hinano said, handing you a bowl and chopsticks, “You want to get your sauce and toppings first.” she lead you over to a little side table with sauce and a variety of toppings. Scallions, cucumber, grated ginger, sliced mushrooms, myoga, shiso… jeez these kids had gone all out on this. You prepared your sauce and rejoined the group by the bamboo flume.

Isogai stood up on a block at the top of the bamboo waterslide they had created.

“Okay, so, Isogai is going to drop noodles in the water and you have to catch them as they go past.” Kayano was across from you, her own bowl at the ready.

“We’re _fishing_ for noodles?”

“Yep, that about sums it up.” Yoshida laughed.

Well… this was… _something_.

“Did you guys plan this in advance?” you chuckled.

“Nah, Korosensei was complaining about it being hot.” Hinano said with a shrug, “This is a good cold meal.”

Of course.

Naturally.

Korosensei was there but you noticed that he still looked completely mortified and was hanging around near the end of the slide. Damn, he really _hadn’t_ chilled out after yesterday. You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head.

“Ikuyo!” Isogai called from the top of the slide.

“Huh?” you looked up to see him dropping a handful of noodles into the flowing water, they went rushing past you.

Kayano laughed, “That means the noodles are coming!”

“Keep up, Doc!” Yoshida fished out a bunches of noodles, dipping them in his bowl before stuffing them into his mouth.

Easier said than done. You spent lunch learning proper catching techniques from Hinano, Kayano, and Yoshida. Somehow, in between, you managed to get a decent amount of lunch in you.

Halfway through, Isogai and Megu switched places so everyone could get some lunch.

At some point even Irina and Karasuma joined in. He stood by giving her pointers. She was… surprisingly good at it.

It was fun and ridiculous, the food was cool and delicious, and the kids were in high spirits.

By the end everyone was laughing. You didn’t see him do it but you definitely heard the tell tale sound of a camera shutter clicking. When you looked over at Korosensei, he was whistling innocently. You shook your head with a smile.

You helped with clearing things away and putting back equipment. Least you could do since you hadn’t actually assisted in the cooking.

It had been a good day. A _great_ day so far.

When everything had been packed away, the kids filed back inside for Japanese. You made your way to the faculty lounge.

What a day…

It was getting close to the end of the day when you realized you were still wearing your gym pants. With a sigh you headed into the nurse’s office. Good, your pants were dry. Class was still in session, Irina and Karasuma were working in the office. You began to strip your gym pants off-

Right as the door opened.

You screamed.

The octopus screamed.

You dashed behind the curtain in the back of the nurse’s office. God, you were a _fucking idiot_ . You should have fucking just taken the two minutes to go behind it in the first place or to the bathrooms, _fucking Christ_.

“IAMSOSORRYMX.READER! YouleftthisinstheclassroomandIthoughtIshouldreturnit.” You saw a neon pink tentacle setting one of your binders on the table, “I didn’t mean-”

You felt your face burning but had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. You hiked your pants up with a sigh, “It’s _fine_. Relax. It was my fault. I assumed everyone was busy.”

You stepped out from behind the curtain. His face was in his hands. Karasuma came around the corner, “What’s going on in here? You’re frightening the children.”

Korosensei let out a small yelp of surprise as Karasuma showed up.

You looked at him, then to Korosensei, then back to him.

Oh you _couldn’t_ pass this up. _Not at all._

“The octopus here just got a free show is all.” you tossed your gym pants over your shoulder to illustrate the point.

“READER!” Korosensei sounded positively scandalized.

“...” Karasuma looked so tired, “Shouldn’t you be changing in the bathroom?”

“That’s my bad.” you shrugged, trying to maintain _some_ sense of casualness about this horrifically embarrassing situation.

You could die about this later.

Right now there was an octopus who was having a melt down and it was too much fun to watch.

Karasuma shook his head and made his way back to the faculty lounge. Irina peeked in, “Did I hear that right? Octoperv was peeping?”

 _“I WAS NOT!_ ” Korosensei looked from her to you, and his expression was so completely distraught that you lost it.

“N-no-” you managed through your laughter, “He walked in on me changing.”

“Who said peeping?” Okajima and a few of the other kids were leaning out into the hall with interest now.

You could NOT stop laughing at this point you were just helplessly wheezing while Korosensei looked like he might just shrivel up and die on the spot. There was a rush of wind and he was gone, leaving you to explain to the class what had happened.

Embarrassing but fucking hilarious.

When things had settled down and Irina had wrangled control of the class again, you sank into your chair in the nurse’s office, still giggling.

Your phone buzzed.

[Reader, how could you?! (*´ﾟдﾟ｀*)]

You laughed, rubbing at your face with a sigh.

[What did you want me to say? ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌]

[I don’t know? That I saw a spider or something?! (艸дﾟ*)]

You lost it all over again.

[Who would believe that you’re scared of spiders? /╲/\\( •̀ ω •́ )/\╱\\]

[ (`ー´) ]

You sighed, still coming down off of your laughter high, [ ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡ ]

What a doofus. A complete goofball. You shook your head.

Your phone buzzed again.

[ (´ ε ` )♡ ]

You heart rate shot up and you rubbed at the blush resurged into your face.

You shouldn’t read anything into it.

It was a stupid text message.

Don’t overthink it.

_Keep it to yourself._

_Don't get your hopes up._

_Say_ **_nothing_ **.


	41. Ebb and Flow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my PC is still dead and I've been doing this on both my phone and my fiance's pc XD.  
> We're going through backing up my files right now. Wish me luck!

The next day was excruciatingly hot. You had thought yesterday was bad, but it was nothing compared to the scorching heat of the summer sun on the mountain. When you came into the nurse’s office the fans were doing nothing to help. You sighed and unbuttoned your overshirt. It was too damn much to not have some ventilation and you doubted anyone was going to be upset over a tank top under an open shirt. Not in this heat.

You paused, feeling something at your neck. You reached up…

It was your tag.

Oh… okay you  _ must _ have been tired this morning.

After yesterday’s nonsense you slipped to the bathroom, fixing your shirt. You didn’t need anyone else walking in on you or they might think it was just a Thing The Weird Foreign Teacher Did.

As you yanked your shirt around you paused.

Oh no…

Well… it could have been  _ worse _ . 

You had much worse in your closet. At least this one was topical and didn’t have any sexual references on it.

Blazoned on your tank top were two text message bubbles.

_ [You’re Cute] _

_ [Murder Me] _

You had a couple of options here. Button back up, cut out the tag and wear this thing backwards all day, or just accept it.

You went with option three because the other two just sounded uncomfortable as fuck.

Walking back out of the bathroom you immediately ran into Irina. She looked more wilted than usual, hair up and jacket missing. Her eyes flicked from you to your shirt and back.

“You sure that’s a good idea to wear in this class?”

“It’s what I got.” you shrugged.

“Whatever. I’m heading home.”

“What?”

“It’s too damn hot on this mountain and I don’t even have class today. It’s too hot to even think about an assassination plan, let alone act on one. So I’m taking the day.”

“Okay, why come in then?” you were a little baffled.

“I forgot my damn bag here yesterday, just had my keys.”

“Ouch.”

She nodded and headed past you, “Later.”

“Bye...”

You headed back into the nurse’s office and pulled out your binder of personal quizzes from the other day. You’d done some sorting on them last night. Kids who had told you something was up and kids that were fine. You’d added info about each kid to your notes as well.

Ah… your notes...

Your last few emails to the Ministry had been… terse to say the least. You had told them in no uncertain terms that Takaoka had been a detriment to the class and a threat to the children. The response you’d gotten was canned and vague, of course. More talk of how saving the world required discipline. You gave them your opinion as a medical professional that if the children were too injured to attempt assassination then there would be no point to training them. You followed this up by asking what they would tell the student’s parents if their child was seriously injured in a supposed PE class.

_ That _ had seemed to get the point across.

You pulled out three quizzes that had stuck out to you in particular.

Kataoka, Takebayashi, Shiota.

You chewed your lip reading over the last question on each.

_ Is there anything bothering you? _

The answers had surprised you. Nagisa’s possibly the most. The boy had been the last to turn his quiz in and what he’d written had been… significant.

Takebayashi and Megu’s were much more straightforward and to the point.

Fitting for them both.

There were others that had answered the question but these three…

These three were the ones you chose to reach out to first.

“Mx. Reader?”

You looked up, tucking the papers away. It was Korosensei. In one hand he had a fan sporting his face, idly waving it to fan himself. Behind him you could see the students filing down the hall.

“Yes?”

He stepped inside, sliding the door shut behind him.

Uh?

“I’m about to take the children to cool off for a bit in the mountain stream. Would you accompany us? Just in case of any mishaps?” he was  _ overly _ formal today.

Man, the last couple of days must have really messed with him.

“Yeah, sure.”

“You have swimwear, yes?”

“Uh… yeah, Karasuma suggested I start bringing a set after yesterday and since, well, summer PE lessons.”

“Perfect. You’ll want to uh...” he went a touch pink, “You’ll want to get changed, we’ll meet you outside.”

You chuckled, “Hey.”

“Nue?” he paused at the door and you turned in your chair, looking up at him.

“You can relax. It’s okay.”

He faltered and you saw that he wasn’t looking at you but at your shirt.

“...Reader.” there was a touch of amusement in his voice.

Goddammit.

“I had it on backwards this morning and didn’t realize.”

He chuckled, “How terribly appropriate for this classroom.”

You thought of your students, “Yeah, I guess all of the assassins here are pretty cute.” 

He went pinker than before, “Ah, well, I’ll see you outside.”

With that he was out the door.

Jeez, maybe you needed to talk to him…

Between his serious outburst and yesterday’s nonsense, he was  _ really _ out of it.

And… that sucked.

Yeah okay, stupid crush aside, he was also your  _ friend _ and you didn't like seeing him not himself.

You dug around in your bag, pulling out your swimwear. It had taken a bit of time to find something you found comfortable. Sleeveless, one piece, short legs, mostly open back. More like something you’d see for surfing than swimming, but comfortable and low drag. Swim shorts had way, way too much drag for the kind of swimming you liked to do.

Quickly, you switched out the bandage over your eyebrow for something a  _ bit _ more waterproof. 

You tugged your gymwear on over it, grabbed your mobile kit, and headed outside.

Korosensei was already outside with half the students.

“So… there’s a stream?” you asked him.

He simply gave a nod.

Maybe it was the heat getting to him…

Things had seemed fine at the end of yesterday…

You'd have to talk to him.

The remaining children came out. Everyone looked so wiped out from the heat.

You couldn’t blame them in the slightest.

Korosensei lead the way into the woods. You pulled out sunblock, putting a bit on yourself before looking over to some of the kids “Hey!”

You waved it in their direction before giving it a toss. Sugino caught it easily, “Thanks, Doc.”

“So, this stream...” you could use some details. A stream could be a lot of things. Did you need to worry about depth? Sharp rocks? Snakes? Leeches?

“Yeah, I didn’t know there was a stream on the other side of the mountain.” Hiyami looked over to the boys.

“Sort of a stream.” Chiba said offhand, “It’s so shallow the water only comes up to your ankles.”

Sugino passed him the sunblock, “Well, we can splash water on each other. I mean I guess that’s better than nothing.”

“I wish I could do a bit more than just the fans.” you gave them an apologetic smile.

“Hey, they still help out a bit.” Hiyami shrugged, taking the sunblock from Chiba, “But given the heatwave right now...”

You nodded. You had thought June’s humidity was bad, but July was so terrible your little AC unit was next to useless.

The walk was far shorter than you expected, the sounds of cicadas in the trees was being undercut with another sound…

Running water. You must be close.

Korosensei glanced back, “Now then, everybody, as I said in the classroom there are things even I can’t do at Mach 20. One of them is to take you all swimming. Unfortunately that would take a whole day.”

“A whole day?” Isogai gave him a look, “The pool at the main campus is only a twenty minute walk from here.”

“Nurufufufu~”

Ohhh boy.

“Well, now, I never said we’d go swimming _ there _ .” he gestured to the bushes behind him, “Feast your eyes on this!”

The kids came forward and you heard gasps.

Wasn’t this just a str-

“I dammed up the little stream and it took about twenty hours for it to fill but E Class now has it’s very own swimming hole! It comes with a 25 meter swimming lane as well! And after swimming season is over, we can release the water and everything will go back to the way it was. And if we adjust the water level, we can keep fish in it and study them!”

You stepped forward, staring. There was a decent sized pool complete with deck chairs, swim lanes… even a damn pool ladder.

“One day to fill, one minute to get here, and one second to jump in!” Korosensei said triumphantly.

The kids were already out of their gym wear and leaping down into the water with shouts and cheers. You laughed and called after them, “Hiyami make sure everyone puts on sunscreen!”

The girl gave a wave and began paddling over to Kayano.

You shook your head and headed around along the rocks to where the deck chairs were, shrugging out of your gym wear as well and hanging them over the back of one of them. You were grateful you’d tucked your goggles into your pocket. Taking them out, you strapped them on. You noticed a few pool toys already prepared alongside.

Korosensei appeared near them moments later wearing…

“That’s your bathing suit?” you laughed a bit, “Going old school aren’t you?”

He looked over. His red and white striped one piece was… functionally similar to yours you guessed. But had all the loose bagginess and shape of something you would have seen in the 1920’s.

“I find it to be quite a bit more suitable for my anatomy.” he chuckled, picking up some of the inflatables and tossing them into the water.

“I mean… you’re an octopus. You could probably swim naked without a problem.” you said, laying down the first aid kit.

He sounded positively scandalized, “I would  _ never _ !”

There we go.  _ That _ was more like him.

“You, meanwhile, are looking rather shark-ish, in your suit.” he commented, not quite looking your way.

“I enjoy the water but I don’t like everything bunching up.” you looked over at him, you felt more exposed in your swimsuit than you had with him walking in on your yesterday, “I like to go  _ fast _ .”

And with that, you jumped into the water.

It wasn’t deep but deep enough for you to brush the bottom as you sank. Standing up, you ran your hands over you face and back over your hair.

It was pretty standard depth, coming up to your chest and the water was crystal clear.

Blessed relief from the summer heat.

You looked around. The kids were already splashing about, tossing Korosensei beach balls about (where the hell was he getting all this stuff with his face plastered on it???), and generally looking as good as you felt getting in here.

Paddling around a bit, you got the lay of the land… well, water.

It was a decently sized pool given its location, easy access in and out, and generally not too terribly deep. Perfect for a bunch of middle schoolers.

And on one side…

There was a pop up lifeguard tower with the octopus sitting on top.

Okay, well… someone had to keep an eye out you guessed.

How the hell would he _ swim _ anyway? You sat there for a minute half floating in the water and staring hard at him.

His anatomy wasn’t standard for an octopus but his legs at the bottom did have the appropriate ring shape. Though without the standard webbing between you weren’t sure how effective they would be at the sort of propelling motion octopi used when swimming. The idea of him swimming like one was pretty hilarious though.

You went through a list of other tentacled ocean creatures in your head. Cuttlefish, nautilus, squid…

He didn’t have fins, he didn’t have siphons that you could see anyway…

Unless his arms were modified from them or something?

Could he shoot ink?

He caught your eye and seemed flustered. _ Shit _ , you’d been staring.

You dove down and kicked off from the floor of the pool, shooting forward through the shallows.

It felt so _ good _ to move this way again.

You’d always enjoyed swimming and hadn’t had the opportunity to in awhile. You’d almost forgotten how good it felt to slice through the water with your body, to be weightless, to feel powerful in motion…

It was almost like flying.

Is that what flying felt like to him?

You resurfaced and took a breath, standing up again near the edge of the pool.

You heard a sigh from nearby and looked over. Kayano was floating in an inflatable ring, idly messing about with a beach ball, “Not to be ungrateful, but this is kinda depressing. First of all, I can’t even swim well, and second of all, this bathing suit makes me feel self-conscious...”

Ah yes… that’s right.

_ Is there anything bothering you? _

_ AM I EVER GOING TO GROW BOOBS? _

“You’ve got nothin’ to worry about, babe.” Okajima said from the shore, “Take my word for it.  _ Plenty _ of people go for your body type.”

“Gee, thanks...” she didn’t sound impressed, “You know how creepy that sounds while you’re sitting there with your camera, right?”

Okay so mark that down as one  _ other  _ student you might need to have a word with.

“Nagisa? You’re a GUY?!” Nakamura’s voice rang out loud and clear. You looked over. 

“You didn’t KNOW that?” he sounded dismayed.

With what he’d talked about in his quiz… you could understand why.

You had a lot of things you needed to address.

Maybe you should make a day of it… or take them aside after class… or during lunch. You’d rather not pull them out of a main class because that might single them out and make a thing of it…

There was the sharp sound of a whistle and you looked up. Korosensei was blowing one frantically.

“Kimura! Absolutely no running around the edge of the pool! That’s how accidents happen!”

You shook your head and looked around. Everything else seemed to be well. Good.

The whistle sounded again.

“Hara! Nakamura!” the two girls surfaced and looked up at him, “What do you think you two are doing?! Absolutely no holding your breath underwater! How am I supposed to tell the difference between horseplay and drowning?!”

No… holding your breath? How the hell was anyone going to swim?

With a spare tentacle he grabbed Okajima’s camera, “I’m confiscating your camera, Okajima! This is not the place for peeping.”

_ Valid _ .

“Hazama! Put down that book and enjoy the water,  _ for heaven’s sake! _ ”

Oh, come on...

“Sugaya! Body art isn’t allowed at regular swimming pools!”

You laughed, “We ALL have body art right now!” you held up your arms for effect, the henna had been slowly wearing off but it was still present on most of you to some degree, “Are you going to kick us  _ all _ out?”

He made a face, “Mx. Reader, no undermining my authority!”

“I’m a teacher too!” you laughed, “What about my authority?!”

“My authority as a lifeguard!” he shouted back, indignant.

Nakamura sighed as Korosensei used his whistle to tweet out a little tune, “I guess being a lifeguard really goes to some people’s heads.”

“Just because he made the pool doesn’t mean he’s the boss of it.” Sugino made a face.

Kimura shook his head, “Someone tell him he needs to dial it back a notch?” 

“I’ve gone through a great deal of trouble making sure this pool is in harmony with its natural surroundings. It’s perfect from location to layout. Proper enjoyment of it must be disciplined and orderly.” Korosensei announced, gesturing with the kick board in one tentacle.

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud! You need to loosen up!” called Hinano, splashing a handful of water up at him.

You had never heard a girlier shriek in your life.

“Um, did he just scream like a chick?” Nakamura looked over at her classmates.

He certainly  _ had _ .

Suddenly, Karma popped out of the water near the lifeguard tower. Grabbing one of the legs he began to shake it.

“ _ Karma! _ What are you doing?!” Korosensei flailed about, trying to maintain balance, “Stop it! I’ll fall in! Are you listening to me?! I said stop!  _ Please! _ ”

“Yo, Karma, knock it off!” you kicked off from the bottom, swimming over.

While their teacher might be unkillable, that was still not the best thing for a student to be doing to a lifeguard tower. If that thing fell in it could easily hurt someone.

“What?” Karma laughed, “He could just fly away.”

It appeared this concept hadn’t occurred to the octopus who now shot out of the chair and landed on the ground beside it, shaking.

“Are uh… are you okay?” Isogai asked, looking at their panting professor.

“Don’t read too much into it!” he protested. You noticed, now that you were closer, that his hand looked suspiciously swollen, “I just don’t feel like taking a dip at the moment, that’s all. It’s certainly not as though water makes me swell or anything.”

Water made him… swell? What?

Mimura tipped his head, “If you were never intending to get in the pool, then why did you bother bringing a kickboard? Aren’t you supposed to be our lifeguard?”

“This?!” Korosensei held it up, “This isn’t a kickboard! It’s my afternoon snack, a gluten cracker! And Mx. Reader is your lifeguard, thank you very much.”

You crossed your arms, rocking back on your feet slightly, “Is that so? Because I distinctly recall you saying  _ you _ were the lifeguard earlier.”

“And I hereby pass the title on to you!” he said in a panic. Well this at least felt more normal.

You rolled your eyes right as you heard a splash and a sputtered shriek. You turned. Kayano had fallen from her inflatable on the deeper end of the pool and was splashing about in a panic.

“She’s too short to stand up in the deep end!” Maehara yelled.

“Quick! Hang onto my cracker!” Korosensei was offering it uselessly. You kicked off the bottom, heading for her but someone got there first. Megu looped an arm around Kayano’s shoulders, swimming backwards towards the shallows.

Once there, the girl got her feet under her and took a breath, “Thanks, Kataoka.”

“Maybe some swimming lessons are in order for you, Kayano.” you approached the pair.

Kayano rubbed the back of her neck, “Uh… yeah maybe?”

Megu gave her a smile, “It would be better to be prepared.”

“Yeah, I guess...” Kayano made a face.

“Then here, let’s get to work.” you gave her a smile and waded a touch further out, just enough she could still touch bottom. Megu floated nearby and you noticed a look on her face. You gave her a smile, “It’s okay Megu. Go swim, we’ve got this. Right, Kayano?”

Kayano looked between the two of you and then gave a nod to the other girl, “Yeah, I don’t want you to miss out on swimming. I know you love it, Kataoka.”

You saw a flicker of relief cross the girl’s face.

Given what she’d written on her paper you weren’t surprised.

Megu smiled, “Alright, well I’ll be in the lanes if you need me!”

You waved and then looked to Kayano, “Okay. What do you know how to do?”

Kayano made a face, “Uh...” she held up her hands in a paddling motion.

You chuckled, “Hey there’s no shame in the doggy paddle.”

“I just panic if I can’t get my feet under me...” she sighed, “It’s like I’m just gonna sink forever, you know?”

“Well, you’re in luck.” you gave her a smile, “You’re not going to.”

“Huh?” she looked at you in surprise.

“By and large the human body floats.” you walked over to her, “That’s why murderer’s weigh down dead bodies before tossing them in rivers or the ocean.”

“That’s sick!” she exclaimed in horror.

You laughed, “It might be, but it’s true. And in this case, it works to your advantage. Alright, now...” you put a hand against her mid back, “I want you to lay back in the water, like you were with Kataoka...”

“But I’ll sink!”

“I won’t let you.”

She seemed dubious but laid back, her body pivoting against your hand.

“I used to be scared of the water too, you know.” you chuckled, “But knowing this helped a lot. Now...” you looked at her, she was laying back in the water as stiff as a board, “You wanna loosen up, ease your arms out… think of those water bugs that rest on the surface. The more surface area you give the water the easier it is to rest on it. That’s why when you swim fast or dive you make your body as streamlined as possible, because you don’t want that resistance. But here, that resistance helps you.”

You kept your hands under her back, though you didn’t really need to. She was floating already.

“Water has its own ebb and flow and the way we move through it effects that. Now, this might not work, say, in the ocean. But in a pool like this? It’s pretty easy to get where you need to go.”

She relaxed but only slightly, looking up at you, “The water is getting in my ears.”

You laughed, “That’ll happen. Okay, now, pay attention to your body. As you breathe what do you notice?”

She was quiet for a minute, breathing slowly, her eyes went wide, “I’m sinking!”

You pushed up gently with your hands, “I’m not letting that happen, remember? What you’re feeling is the ebb and flow. Each time you take a breath your chest is inflating and deflating. The air in our lungs and the fat in our bodies are both buoyant. You’re not sinking when you let out your breath, you’re dipping slightly is all.”

She laid there for a moment, breathing slowly, “Oh...”

You chuckled and held up your hands in her view.

Her eyes went wide.

“Don’t panic.” You gave her a smile, “Panic and you thrash. Thrash and you sink.”

She breathed slowly.

“Now, you’re on your back, you have access to air. What do you think you should do next?”

“Uh… I can’t doggy paddle like this… I’d have to put my face in the water.”

“So, don’t doggy paddle.” you watched her reasoning it out.

“Uh... ” she seemed to resolve herself to try something and started to kick with her legs. The progress was slow and splashy but she did start to drift a bit.

“Right. Now, let’s make that more streamlined hm? It doesn’t have to look pretty but we can make it more effective at getting you where you need to go.”

You spend most of PE teaching Kayano some basic techniques for getting around in the water. When she was done she looked a little more relaxed, “Okay, can I go just… use one of the tubes for awhile?”

You chuckled, “Sure...” as she turned to leave you noticed something, “Kayano did you get the sunblock earlier? Looks like your neck got a bit of a burn.”

“Oh! I must have missed a spot.” she put a hand over it and made a face, “I’ll make sure I don’t next time.”

You gave her a nod and kicked off from the bottom of the pool, slicing over to the deeper side. You found Kataoka there, pausing between her next lap. She looked at you, a slight crease of concern in her forehead.

“She’s okay, Megu. Relax.” you gave her a smile.

She nodded.

“So, you were on the swim team I’ve been hearing.”

“Yeah...” she gave a smile, “I think I might be able to use it against Korosensei.”

That wasn’t a terrible idea for assassination given how he’d reacted to the water earlier. Of course… you’d rather it not happen. But that wasn’t your job here. You gave a nod, “Not a bad idea.”

“I’m gonna stay after today, get a few more laps in. I’ll need to get back up to my old condition if I’m going to be useful.”

“I might do the same. My apartment is killer right now.” you thought of how disgusting you’d felt this morning waking up.

She gave a grin, “Okay!”

You chuckled, “Alright, now, I’m going to get a little swimming in.”

She nodded and you both kicked off from the edge. You dove down, looking around under the water. Not a spot of vegetation. He must have cleared out this entire area before hand…

Wild…

You surfaced with a gasp and laid back in the water, staring up at the trees and blue sky overhead. It was a gorgeous day.

When you looked over to the lifeguard tower you saw the octopus staring. You laughed and, after a cursory glance over the kids to make sure everyone was okay, you dove again, gliding along the bottom of the pool to the shallow end. You stood up carefully and the sudden lack of weightlessness made you feel like you were a thousand pounds. That was definitely  _ not _ your favorite part of swimming.

You hopped up on the rocks where his tower was set up. The rocks were warm from the sun, a nice contrast to the chill of the water.

“We should see about bringing a speaker or something out here. Music would be nice.”

He glanced down at you, “But how would we hear children in distress?”

“Drowning is silent.” you said quietly, “It’s not like in the movies. It actually sort of looks like Kayano floating earlier. Arms out, mouth out of the water. Legs are usually down though. Their eyes are glassy and they don’t scream or wave or yell. They just  _ sink _ .”

“...you sound like you have some experience with it.” his voice… that was… 

You looked up at him, his eyes were narrowed in that way they were when he was trying to suss something out.

“Well, yeah. Paramedic, remember? More than a few calls to drownings and near drownings.” you sat back, “They’re pretty terrifying. It’s so quick. And you have to be careful about pulling them out. They can drag you down too in their panic.”

He looked out at the children again, “I’m glad to have more than one set of eyes on them.”

“Especially since one of those sets of eyes can go in the water, huh?” you glanced at him sidelong.

“...quite.” his response was soft.

“So how the hell were you taking a bath in Kyoto? You said the kids were trying to peep on you.” you chuckled at the memory.

“Well, there are variables. Amount of water, for instance...”

You looked up at him, “But that made you swell.” you nodded to his hand which had slowly gone back to normal.

He chuckled, “As I said,  _ variables _ .” he chuckled, green stripes showing up, “Detective face again I see.”

You huffed and he laughed.

“Oh, do you plan on staying late today?” you looked up at him.

“I could, why?”

“Kataoka plans on using the pool, she might need supervision. I was planning on staying.”

He gave a nod, “A wise decision.”

This felt better. 

A few moments later he called for the students to head back to the schoolhouse. You followed along, considering what you’d learned.

Water could make him swell apparently, but that didn’t explain Kyoto. What did he mean by variables? PH? Minerals?

More questions, less answers.

As per the usual.


	42. Surreal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy some shenanigans.  
> Also beware the ending of this chapter is cavity inducing levels of sweet.

After school you made your way to the pool with Kataoka. Korosensei was finishing up something before coming along so you’d both opted to go ahead.

“Hey, thanks for helping with Kayano.” Megu said softly.

“It’s no problem.” you gave her a smile, “You take a lot on yourself, Megu. I know you’re class rep, but you can relax.”

She went a bit quiet.

“So, what’s the plan for today?”

“Practice mostly. Ritsu is going to time me.”

“Ritsu?”

She held up her phone where a happy Ritsu stood in swimwear.

“You know… I wonder if we could set up something so Ritsu could swim.”

“Huh?” Megu looked at you like you were crazy.

“Well, she can gather data from visual learning. If we could find a way to rig a camera on you, she might be able to give you a better analysis of your swimming.”

“Yes!” Ritsu exclaimed, “And I could have a first person visual of the process!”

“Huh...” Megu considered this, “That _would_ be interesting.”

“We’ll have to see what we can find that might work for it.”

“Please do!” Ritsu sounded ecstatic.

You arrived at the pool and sat by the meter markers, watching Kataoka practice. She popped up near you, looking at her phone propped up on the rocks nearby, “Ritsu, how’s my time?”

“26.08 seconds. You need to drop .07 second to match your record for the 50 meters.” Ritsu gestured to the numbers displayed on the screen.

“I’m out of practice.” she sighed, “But they’re counting on me to do this right...”

“You can do it.” you gave her a smile, your feet dangling in the water, “Just focus on the swimming part for now. Don’t think about the rest.”

She gave a nod and kicked off again.

“She’s so cool...”

You looked back to see Kayano, Nagisa, and Korosensei had arrived. You gave a wave.

“She’s responsibility personified.” Nagisa agreed.

Korosensei was in his swimwear. To be fair, so were you but under your gym clothing. His was still objectively more ridiculous. 

“She’s cool all right.” he leaned on one of the rocks, watching her. His eyes narrowed, “I have no idea what she’s training for...”

Well that was definitely a lie. You chuckled to yourself.

Nagisa and Kayano, however, shared a look of panic for a moment.

“Hey, Korosensei!” Nagisa gave him a smile.

“Hm?” he looked over to the boy, distracted from Megu for the moment.

“You sent a fan letter to that busty actress right? Haruko Tade?” Nagisa’s smile was sly.

You bit your lip, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

The octopus shrieked, “HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!”

Nagisa’s tone was casual, relaxed, “I snooped inside your desk. You must have been at it for _days…_ there were so many rough drafts!”

“DON'T TELL ME YOU _READ_ THEM!”

You laughed, “Oh? Is _that_ what he’s been doing between classes?” you grinned over at Nagisa, “Any juicy bits you wanna share?”

You had never seen Korosensei look more betrayed. You found yourself laughing even harder.

“NAGISA _DO NOT-_ ” he flailed his tentacles in alarm.

“ _‘My tentacles quiver in anticipation at the sight of you’_ . Is that what they do? _‘Quiver’_ ? That’s sexual harassment you know.” Nagisa was looking and sounding more like Karma at the moment, “I wonder what would happen if people found out that _a teacher_ sent a love letter like that...” 

You were dying. On one hand that was hilarious but also on the other hand uh… wow, given your feelings that was… uh… _interesting_.

Maybe you could pass off your blush as too much sun.

Korosensei’s face was buried in his hands.

After this week this kids might just have to put him out of his misery.

“Nagisa… you better cut it out. Korosensei looks like he’s about to die of embarrassment.” Kayano was grinning.

Megu had paused in her swimming, looking over her phone. She abruptly climbed out of the pool, “I’ll see you guys later. I have to see my… uh… friend.” her eyes flicked to you before she picked up her phone and towel, heading back towards the schoolhouse.

Hmm…

You had a feeling you knew what that was about.

“What’s up with her?” Nagisa watched as she left.

Kayano rubbed at her neck, watching as Megu left, “She doesn’t sound too happy about meeting her friend.”

“Let’s go find out.” Korosensei had switched back to his usual clothing, and was watching Megu disappear up the trail, “She’s very giving… which worries me… People who others depend on tend to carry their own burdens alone.”

You couldn’t help but notice that he glanced your way as he said it.

Given what he’d said that night at your apartment though, you felt the same could be said about him.

“You know… we could just _talk_ to her like _normal_ people.” you said quietly.

The four of you were crammed in a booth at a small cafe called Cyberia where you had tailed Megu to. Disguises had been insisted upon though they were lackluster at best. Sunglasses and hats for the most part.

“We could...” Korosensei said softly, “But do you think she would say anything?”

“She’s talked to me.” you glanced over, Megu was sitting in a booth with a cute looking girl. Despite being around the same age she still had traces of baby fat which gave her a young appearance. Couple this with her pigtails and it was clear she had a look she was going for.

Not that unusual here. Or anywhere really. Youth was always treated as a valuable asset in beauty.

The pair had their heads bent over classwork. Megu appeared to be tutoring her.

“Anyone know who she is?”

Nagisa shook his head.

“Main campus for sure.” Kayano whispered.

The two seemed to have some sort of disagreement and Ms. Pigtails slammed her hands down on the table, knocking Megu’s drink over, “How COULD you?! You almost KILLED me, remember?”

You felt your stomach flip over. Your fellow spies gave small gasps. So this _was_ the girl she’d mentioned in her quiz.

 _Lovely_.

“Ever since that fateful day, I’ve been afraid to get in the water, you know!” the girl had tears in her eyes. She took Megu’s hand, licking the spilled drink from it.

Uh??

You looked at the other three, they seemed equally disgusted.

Good, it wasn’t just you.

“You’ll help me for the rest of my life won’t you?” her voice had taken on a nausea inducing level of sweetness.

Megu looked uncomfortable.

The girl glanced at her phone and popped up, tears suddenly gone, “Oh! Is that the time? I promised to meet my friends after this.” she gathered her things and waved as she turned to leave, “Catch you later, Meg Meg! You’ll always be my Ikemegu!”

That sounded less like a threat than a goodbye. 

Megu sat there for a long moment looking tired then looked directly at your booth, “Okay stalkers, you can come out now.”

Shit. Caught…

She mopped up the table as the four of you joined her.

“What was all that about?” Kayano asked, “She uh… she was kind of...”

“She was creepy.” you said bluntly.

Megu nodded and looked at you.

“Kokona?” you guessed.

“Yeah...”

The others looked between the two of you.

“Uh… are we missing something?” Nagisa asked, “Who’s Kokona?”

As the lot of you headed outside, Megu began to explain.

“That was her. She was in my old class… Last summer she asked me to teach her how to swim. She was going to the ocean with her friends and a guy she had a crush on. She didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of him. After the first lesson she got good enough to paddle across a swimming pool. I was going to give her several more lessons after that because swimming in the open ocean is a lot more difficult than in a pool. But she came up with all kinds of excuses to avoid me and the lessons. And then she went off to the beach with her friends…”

“How come?” Kayano looked bothered, “That’s not very smart…”

“I guess she thought she was good enough after just barely learning how to swim. She’s never been the hard working type. So, of course, she got washed away by the waves and had to be rescued. Since then, she’s been like _‘I’m traumatized and humiliated because I almost drowned! It’s your fault for not teaching me how to swim properly! You should pay for what you did!’_ and so on and on… So I started tutoring her one-on-one for all of her exams. That’s why I messed up my own grades and fell down into E class.”

Kayano’s voice was full of concern, “But… she’s using you, Kataoka!”

There was a broken sadness in Megu’s reply, “It’s okay. I’m used to it...”

Oh, that wasn't-

There was the sharp trill of a pool whistle and the three of you looked back to see Korosensei rapidly drawing on some… were those posters?

Where did he even _get_ this stuff?

“ _Kataoka!_ You can’t continue this behavior. The drowning man will drag you down with him. Like this for example:”

He passed her the posters and you and the others crowded around to see them. It was…

“I’m sorry did you just draw a manga to explain why this is a problem?” you looked over at him.

He shrugged, “It illustrates it nicely, I think.”

It was titled _The Melancholy Housewife_ and painted a pretty bleak story of a woman with her husband being a compulsive gambler and her constantly helping him and staying with him for his sake.

It would have been darker except that he’d drawn Megu as the wife and himself in the part of the husband.

“Why did you put _yourself_ in here?” you asked.

“I’m easy to draw.” he chuckled and then looked to Megu, tapping the comic, “ _This_ is called _‘codependency’_. You need to be needed… even when you don’t.”

The girl looked uncomfortable. It was a hard truth to hear.

You knew that from personal experience.

_“What is the point of being a teacher if we do it for them?"_

He reached out, placing a hand on her head, “Kataoka, your concern for others is truly wonderful. But at times you need to foster their independence as well. _‘Meg’s tough! No matter how hard I cling to her, she won’t sink!’_ People who think that way stop swimming under their own power. And that doesn’t do them any good.”

“But what should I do, Korosensei?” the girl looked a bit out of her element. You could relate.

It was hard when you were so used to stepping in…

“Simple. Your friend needs to learn to swim on her own.” there was a rush of air and in the place he had been his uniform collapsed to the ground, he now stood in his swimwear, ”Don’t try to take this girl on yourself. Let me handle it. This octopus will teach her how to swim at mach speeds so fast the fishes will freak out!”

And that is how you’d gotten involved in a kidnapping.

There had been a lot of preparation to this kidnapping. But it was _definitely_ kidnapping.

Technically, Korosensei was the one _doing_ the kidnapping, but you were all accomplices at this point.

Why had you agreed to go along with this?

It probably had something to do with the way Meg had looked after Korosensei’s lecture.

Or maybe how absurdly _creepy_ that girl had been.

Either way, you were now at the E Class pool with Nagisa, Kayano, and Megu, handling costumes and make up.

You really weren’t sure if this would work.

“Does this look right?” Kayano turned, Nagisa had just finished sticking some scales onto her face with spirit gum.

“I uh… I don’t really know. What the hell do fish people look like?” You pulled up your sleeves.

“Well, he did leave sketches but like...” Megu held them up, “I think he’s a little over ambitious...”

You definitely didn’t have half of the stuff his ideal costumes required. You’d been lucky to find the spirit gum and the stick-on gems you were using as scales. Kayano had been the one to bring the waterproof body glitter. Korosensei had left you all with the bases of the costumes. Kayano was mostly ready, fake fins decorated her hair, a pair of fish scale patterned tights covered her legs, matching sleeves on her arms, she had a pair of shorts in the same pattern and a top that mostly consisted of a shell bra with some wispy translucent ribbons hanging around her shoulders. Body glitter decorated her exposed skin and fake gems glittered on her face in the dark. She tugged on a pair of flippers and webbed swimming gloves.

There was _no way_ this was going to work.

You, Megu, and Nagisa had similar get ups but in a variety of states. Megu was nearly finished with hers. It was more akin to a strapless one piece swimsuit with a skirt. You and Nagisa both sported harem pants in the fish scale pattern and midriff shirts. 

You felt utterly ridiculous.

You felt even more so once you had the fake fins and gloves in place.

“Korosensei says he’ll be here in ten!” Ritsu chirped from Megu’s phone.

“Showtime!” Kayano said, slipping into the water.

Oh this was _so_ not going to work…

Nagisa joined Kayano. Megu, meanwhile, went to a place near the shallows of the pool. You made your way over to the deck chairs.

This was crazy.

But nowhere near as crazy as Korosensei showing up hauling an entire bed with a sleeping child still inside.

Lord, this would _never_ work.

Korosensei grinned over at all of you and held up a finger to his lips. What was he even wearing? Some weird full body fish scale robe with fins…

Over that stupid swimsuit.

And… a hood with additional eyes on it.

And goggles.

 _The government_ , you recalled, _could not assassinate this man._

That must be _embarrassing as hell_.

He took his position on a deck chair and passed you your prop… 

“Are you kidding me?” you hissed at him.

He gave a quiet chuckle, green stripes on his face, “What? It’s part of your _character_!”

You huffed, hefting the fan and fanning him. He waved a tentacle to signal the start of Operation Swim Time.

Well… here we go, you guessed.

Kayano and Nagisa were immediately laughing and splashing one another. It didn’t take long for the girl in her bed to stir. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking over the scene laid out before her.

A bunch of random strangers dressed as fish people.

Megu approached her, “You’re awake. Um…” she stretched out a hand dramatically to her, “Welcome to Fishland! Let’s go for a swim!”

The girl squinted, “You look an awful lot like Meg Meg...”

Megu looked away, “No… never heard of her… I’m Fish Fish.”

“That sounds like the name of a restaurant.”

“It’s a family name.” Megu continued.

Korosensei dashed over to her and whispered something to her before dashing back to his chair.

You whispered to Korosensei, “Okay, if I go to jail for this-”

“No one is going to jail. Remember, people are often willing to accept the normal over the unusual. It’s far more convenient for them.”

You hissed, _“What is normal about this?!”_

Nagisa and Kayano popped up near them in the shallows. Kayano, you noticed, was sporting one of the pool floats from earlier.

“I’m Fish Boy!” Nagisa waved.

“And I’m Fish Girl!”

“...if you’re a fish why do you need a life ring?” Kokona was squinting at Kayano.

Ah, yes. That was the _only_ odd thing about this scene.

Maybe this girl just wasn’t very bright…

“And I-” Korosensei stood up dramatically, “Am the Fish King. The greatest octopus in the whole wet world, able to swim any river or ocean!” then as an aside he gestured offhand to you, “And this is my Fishsistant.”

The next time he offered you a knife you were going to take it and shove it right in his stupid Fish Face.

“YOU’RE AN OCTOPUS!” Kokona shouted.

He chuckled and zipped over to her, “Nothing gets by you… you’d make a great ‘straight man’ in a comedy duo, you know. Now, that’s enough for your warm up.”

In a flash he had her prepared for the water, hair tied up and bathing suit on, “Hair up! Bathing suit! And stretches…” you watched as he rolled the girl’s limbs, “And _into the water with you!_ ”

And with that he flung the girl into the pool.

The girl immediately panicked, thrashing about.

She was in the shallows.

Oh this was _sad_.

Megu approached her, “Calm down, Kokona! It’s shallow enough to stand here. You want to learn to swim, don’t you? That’s why we called you here to Fishland! Why don’t you at least give it a try?”

The girl staggered to her feet, his voice sounding absolutely bratty in response, “I don’t _NEED_ to swim! I don’t need to do _anything_ but act _cute_ ! All I have to say is, _I can’t swim_ and the girl who looks like you will do whatever I tell her to do!”

Oof, yikes.

Megu’s eyes narrowed and she grabbed the girl’s arm, shoving her ahead of her, “Okay, well, just keep walking. It’s a good way to warm up and get used to the water.”

The girl struggled, protesting, “Hey! You’re just a FISH! You have no right to treat me like this!”

This girl must… really just be an idiot.

Korosensei had come back over followed by Nagisa and Kayano. For a few moments the four of you simply watched the show of Megu shoving this girl around the pool, making her walk.

“By the way, Koro- I mean, uh, Fish King… aren’t you going to swim too?” Nagisa looked over at him.

“Um… nah. I just came to sunbathe.” he was clearly flustered by the question.

Guess he didn’t think that through...

Nagisa just gave him a look, “It’s _midnight_. And how are you going to teach her to swim without getting in the water?”

Korosensei paused, looking over at him, “You’re right. I suppose I _do_ have to get in the pool.”

And with that, he flew straight into the water.

“What the-” Kayano stared at where he’d plunged into the pool

You had to agree with that sentiment. 

What the hell did he think he was doing??

“He didn’t even hesitate...” Nagisa sounded almost disappointed.

When the water settled, you saw, possibly, the _stupidest_ part of the night yet.

There was what appeared to be a large fish floating in the pool.

That’s what it appeared to be anyway… until you saw Korosensei’s stupid grin through the glass cover in the front.

“What the fuck-”

“I’m glad you asked Re- I mean, Fishsistant! This is my Korosensei Koi Costume Wetsuit ™. It’s completely waterproof, and can withstand my mach swimming. Let me show you a variety of swimming techniques.”

And with that, he sped off through the water.

A whirlpool began to form and you watched as Megu guided her charge out of it. You could hear her calling over the sounds of the water, “Don’t panic, Kokona! The flow around the edge isn’t that fast! Okay, here’s how you need to swim in the sea! The basics are the same as in a swimming pool! Feel the water pushing back on the palm of your hand and swim rhythmically! You can easily lose track of your position when swimming in the sea so change to a breast stroke every now and then to check where you are and then go back to the crawl!”

Nagisa, meanwhile, looked frustrated, “Using a Koi Costume isn’t fair, Fish King!”

“That’s right! We wanted to see if you could get in the water without it!” Kayano called down to him.

You realized… you hadn’t told the kids about that yet…

Before you could say anything, Korosensei was out of his fish outfit like a shot and back into the water, “Why of course I can!”

What?

“Okay hold on-” you started.

“Is he swimming?” Kayano squinted, watching him.

“No, look. He’s just scooping the water out around him at Mach speed.” Nagisa sounded put out.

You had no idea how he figured that out but you could, occasionally, see the flash of a bucket in the splashing waters around Korosensei.

What an _extra_ motherfucker.

The new nonsense he was pulling had changed the flow of the pool. 

Kokona was struggling, “What?! The waves are coming this way but I’m being pulled back!”

Megu swam alongside, coaching her, “Calm down! Swim in this direction!” when the girl was out of the pull, she continued, “That’s called a rip current. The waves bounce off the shore and flow back out to the sea. This is probably why you got in trouble last time.”

From the center of the pool, Korosensei called out advice, “When you get caught in a riptide, don’t use up all your strength trying to reach the shore. Swim parallel to the shore until you get out of the current. And don’t panic!” He chuckled, “But just knowing what to do isn’t enough. Keep swimming like crazy until morning, and you’ll master how to swim beautifully- _just like a fish._ ”

This… this was going to keep up ‘til _morning?_

“He really isn’t suited to teaching PE to humans...” Kayano sighed.

And so, you, Nagisa, and Kayano settled in to watch the spectacle, occasionally cheering the girl on. As the night dragged on though it became repetitive to watch.

You would think that something like this would be easy to stay awake through. Rushing water, yelling of instructions, and such. But you felt the pull of sleep on you and, without much else to do, found yourself nodding off in one of the deck chairs.

When you woke up, sunlight was just starting to permeate the trees. You cracked open an eye and looked down to see a pair of small bodies curled up on either side of you. Nagisa and Kayano. Looks like you weren’t the only one exhausted.

On the second deck chair you saw Megu, also asleep, using a towel as a blanket.

Korosensei and Kokona were nowhere to be seen.

Fuck.

It was _Saturday_.

School was _in_ today.

What time even was it…

Just as you were considering how to locate your phone, Korosensei reappeared. He’d ditched the swimwear and costume, thank god. On spotting your situation, he landed lightly nearby.

You looked up at him and with your one free hand that wasn’t pinned by Kayano you gestured, whispering, “Where’s the girl?”

He chuckled softly, “Home safe in bed.”

You dropped your head back against the deck chair with a sigh.

“So… what now?” you whispered, “These guys have class and what about their parents...”

“Ah, yes, well, that was a bit of old fashioned deception on their parts.” he responded, “Everyone is, of course, staying at one another’s houses.”

“Oh my god...”

You’d done that once or twice to sneak out and do things you weren’t supposed to do, but nothing as batshit insane as _kidnapping_.

He chuckled, “As for class… well, I’m sure that I can excuse them for first period at the very least.”

There was something in his tone, his expression as he looked over you and the children. A certain softness you’d heard before.

It was such a surreal scene. Sleeping in deck chairs with your students while early morning light filtered onto the pool below. There was something hushed, intimate, and almost magical about it.

The two of you looked out over the pool for several minutes. You felt him move behind the deck chair and you looked up at him.

“Hey...” you whispered, “You okay? You’ve been weird since Takaoka.”

He went a touch pink, “I’m alright, Reader.”

"Summer vacation is coming up." you spoke softly, "Should I go see my family before March?"

His voice was soft, "That…"

He paused for a long moment.

"Have faith in our students, Reader."

You sighed, closing your eyes, head still tilted back.

There was a light touch to your cheek and then you heard a yawn from below you as Kayano shifted. You opened your eyes and saw Korosensei looking back out over the pool, his hand on the back of the chair.

You probably shouldn't put him on the spot like that… But you had so many questions…

So many worries.

And things like this would only distract for so long.

Reaching up with your free hand you laid it palm up on the back of the chair. An invitation.

You felt his hand come to rest on yours and you gave it a squeeze.

You wanted to say something but...

 _Keep it to yourself, don't get your hopes up, and say nothing_.

You looked up at him. He was pink. He hadn't slept last night… had he? He glanced down at you.

You opened your mouth to speak-

Nagisa rolled over, nearly rolling off the deck chair, you both grabbed for him in a panic before he could hit the ground. You had a handful of waistband and a tentacle was supporting the boy's chest. He yelped in surprise and looked up as he was lowered carefully to the ground.

Both you and the octopus breathed a sigh of relief.

Kayano sat up, rubbing her eyes, "Wha's happenin'?" 

You laughed quietly and Megu stirred, opening her eyes.

"Nagisa just fell out of bed that's all." You chuckled.

"Where's Kokona?" Nagisa asked, looking around.

"Safely home." Korosensei gave a nod, "Now, there should be an hour or two ‘til class. How about I get everyone breakfast?"

"Oh god… We have _class…_ " it was the first time you'd ever heard anything remotely sounding like a whine from Megu.

"Lucky you gets to skip first period." You stretched your arms trying to get feeling back in the one Kayano had been laying on.

"What?" Nagisa looked over in surprise.

Korosensei chuckled, "Well, after all, you were out helping me with a special project…"

"Okay guys, the sooner we get to the school, the sooner you can catch more sleep while Korosensei gets breakfast."

The kids tiredly got to their feet and began making their way towards the school.

"Be back in a moment."

And he was gone.

You followed the kids.

And found futons laid out in the nurse's office…

All of you collapsed into them gratefully.

As you lay there, fading back into sleep you found one more worry rising in your thoughts.

_People who others depend on tend to carry their own burdens alone._

Who could he depend on...

Even with the extra sleep and the strong coffee Korosensei had brought, you were still wiped for most of the day. The kids had told their story to their classmates and there was speculation about the exact nature of Korosensei's response to water. 

That afternoon Korosensei had the four of you join him again at the pool.

" _Please_ tell me we're not swimming…" Megu sighed.

He chuckled, "No, no. I simply wanted to have a talk with all of you before you went home for the weekend."

"Yeah?" Nagisa looked at him.

"First, about Kokona…" he looked to Megu, "Now you don’t have to feel responsible for her anymore, Kataoka. Remember…," he held up a leaf in one hand, "Holding someone’s hand isn’t the only choice. Sometimes you have to let go." He released it, letting it drift to the water.

"Yeah… Or not let them get too close " Megu nodded.

You glanced at him, your mind running through it once more.

 _Keep it to yourself, don't get your hopes up, and say nothing_.

"Oh, and one more thing." Korosensei looked to the children and placed his hand into the water for a long moment. When he pulled it out it was drastically swollen and an angry, painful looking red, "As you suspect, I can’t swim. I can hardly move when my body absorbs water. I guess you _could_ say it’s my greatest weakness. However I’m not too concerned about it." He chuckled, green stripes appearing across his face, "I’m confident I won’t fall into the water and even if I do, I’m still capable of handling Kataoka if she doesn’t have any backup."

He looked out to the pool for a moment then back to them, "I want you all to believe in yourself and practice your swimming. That’s why I built this pool for you. Train hard. I look forward to seeing what you come up with with this new bit of information."

The kids were all smiles as they made their way back down the mountain.

"...why did you tell them?"

"Because they worked hard to achieve something. They deserve to be rewarded. And besides, you would have told them, wouldn't you?" He looked over at you, "After all, isn’t that the arrangement you have with them?"

You felt yourself blushing. You _had_ promised that…

"Don't be afraid to share things like that with them." He chuckled, "I'm more than prepared."

There was a pause where the two of you simply looked at one another. You finally gave a small nod.

"Now, go on home, get some rest." He said gently.

"Hey, you better do the same. I saw you bright pink this morning."

There was a flicker of pink across his cheeks, "Don't worry about me, Reader."

"Too late you stupid octopus, I already do."

He laughed, "I promise, I will rest."

You held out your hand, pinky extended.

He chuckled and accepted it with his own.

"I promise."

When you got home that evening you crashed into your futon. You didn't wake up til the crack of dawn on Sunday.


	43. True or False

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY COMPUTER LIVES.  
> Also, I've been working on putting together a 18+ Assassination Classroom server. It is still a work in progress but if you're 18+ and would like to join you can [click here](https://discord.gg/8rXhGY8).

You decided that you were having another lazy Sunday. Being out all night had you groggy and tired still. Your mind was scattered, thinking over lots of bits and pieces of things going on. 

You pulled out your notes and reviewed the recent ones. He was weak to water, you'd seen him eat a knife, etc.

You really didn't know how much use the government got out of these…

You thought back to yesterday morning. The kids piled on you, holding his hand and looking at the pool…

While the shenanigans were fun and all, what you wouldn't give for a few more moments like that…

Your phone buzzed and you picked it up off the end table.

One new message.

From him, of course.

[Sleep well I trust?]

[Yeah. You?]

[I promised. Yes, I did get sleep.]

[ (↼_↼)]

[So suspicious!!]

[I know you're a target for assassination but at least try to take care of yourself?]

[I AM ＼(ﾟｰﾟ＼)]

You laughed a bit at that then grinned to yourself. That's right… _Nagisa had given you ammunition._

[So how are your tentacles today? Are they ~~'quivering in anticipation'~~]

[READER!! ＼(º □ º l|l)/]

[Are you really sending racy fanmail? ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ]

[I might have sent a few… (ﾟｰﾟ)]

You snorted.

[Do they -all- go through multiple drafts?]

[(° ~ ° )]

[Clearly you should just ask me to proofread them for you.]

[Reader, I thought you were a pacifist.]

[Yeah, I am.]

[(*`д´*) THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!?!]

You lost your mind laughing.

[What? That doesn't make your tentacles all aquiver?~~~~]

[M e r c y . o(´д｀o)]

[You know, I think I like it when you beg.]

Oh fuck.

Did you type that?

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_

What you got next made you almost scream.

It was a photo of him, face half buried in a pillow, peeking up over the edge of it, almost pouting at the camera. His face was bright pink.

God. Bless.

You saved it immediately.

Then proceeded to not be able to look at it because you were too busy having a meltdown. That was _adorable_ . _ILLEGALLY adorable_.

[Okay, okay. I guess I can go easy on you.]

[It's because I'm so cute, isn't it?]

[Yes.]

What were you _doing?_ This was dumb you shouldn't be sitting here doing this, you couldn't tell him about things…

You were flirting with an octopus.

[I propose a challenge.]

[A challenge?]

[Yes. We each get to ask the other true or false questions. You have to answer honestly.]

[That sounds like a less fun version of truth or dare or 'never have I ever'.]

[We could certainly always play one of those.]

[You must be one bored octopus. ┐(￣ー￣)┌]

[I'm surprised you're willing to pass this up. You're always bothered when I dodge answers.]

[Who's to say you won't do the same thing again?]

[Unfortunately I can't feasibly pinky swear via text.]

Hmmmm… On one hand maybe you could get some answers. On the other hand though what would he find out about you?

Eh, fuck it. The world was ending in March.

[Okay. Let's play.]

[Excellent! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑]

Your phone buzzed again immediately.

[Now, some ground rules.]

[I knew there'd be a catch.] 

[No questions about my origin or motives.]

[Lame. (;¬_¬)]

[♪～(´ε｀ ) You agreed to play.]

[K. Ground rules from me. ( •̀ω•́ )σ No questions about my love life.]

[(º □ º )]

[You wanted to set ground rules. (＾∇＾)]

[Okay. I'll go first.]

There was a pause and your phone buzzed again.

[True or False, you think I’m adorable.]

You rolled your eyes.

[True. You know that already.]

[Maybe I just wanted to see you admit it again. (・ω-)]

You rubbed your face. This _stupid_ octopus.

[True or False, your house is in Japan.]

[True.]

Oh well shit. That was new.

Your phone buzzed again.

[True or False, you’ve danced around your apartment in your underwear.]

You laughed.

[True. Fuck man, doesn’t EVERYONE do that?ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪♬]

[Maybe that was a -bit- too easy.]

[True or False, you have a grooming fetish.]

[False. It’s not a fetish but it -is- hilarious how angry assassins get over it.( •̀ᴗ•́ )]

[Well, yeah, it’d be like putting lipstick on Karasuma.]

[That’s a good idea...]

You snorted. You felt like Karasuma would kill him with sheer _willpower_ if he did that.

Your phone buzzed again.

[True or False, you wore that Please Present Your Octopus shirt on purpose. (•̀⌄•́)]

[False. I swear to god it was just the luck of the draw.]

[Hmmmmm (↼_↼)]

[Be suspicious all you want. Now, True or False, water PH affects how you get damaged by it.]

[False. It’s much more complicated than that.]

Damn. You thought you’d had something there.

[True or False, you’ve done something embarrassing at an enkai.]

You laughed out loud, “Oh come on dude...”

[No shit! It’s an enkai!! That’s what happens.]

[¯\\_(´∇｀)_/¯ I’ve never been to one so...]

[...so you definitely weren’t a teacher before this year then. At least not here.]

[Is that your True or False question?]

[Yes.]

[True. I was not a teacher in Japan before this year.]

Well, that was something too. You reached over, grabbing your journal and taking notes on what you’d learned so far.

You phone buzzed in your lap and you picked it up again.

[True or False, you actually do have revealing sleepwear.]

WHAT?

_WHAT?!_

[Hey you’re not supposed to ask about my love life.]

[How is asking about your clothing asking about your love life?]

Goddammit.

[Whatever. True.]

[I knew it. !(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑] 

You smirked to yourself.

[True or False, YOU have revealing sleepwear.]

[...]

[Hey you have to answer.]

[True.]

[WHAT?]

[FOR COSTUMING PURPOSES!]

[WHAT COSTUME COULD YOU POSSIBLY NEED SOMETHING LIKE THAT FOR? ARE YOU MOONLIGHTING AS A STRIPPER?]

You were helplessly cackling at this point.

What the everlovin’ _fuck,_ Korosensei?

[THERE ARE A LOT OF VALID REASONS AN ASSASSIN MIGHT NEED A WARDROBE CHANGE!]

You snorted. What an idio-

Wait…

You reread that text.

[Hold on…]

[ANYWAY True or False, you’ve lost someone before.]

…

Whoa talk about a hard left turn…

You rubbed the back of your neck a bit, sighing.

[True.] 

There was silence from his end for several moments. Finally you opted to break the silence with your next question.

[True or False, you’re an assassin.]

[True.]

You propped your chin on your hand, staring at the phone for a long moment.

Did he mean like a _real_ assassin? Or did he mean like an assassin in this class? He was knowledgeable in the field but then again he was knowledgeable in EVERY field…

[Your turn, Reader. (¬‿¬)]

The phone buzzed again.

[True or False, you -like- doting on me.]

Oh my god.

[True. Duh.]

Oh you knew just what to do to one up him here. You grinned to yourself.

[True or False, your tentacles ~~quiver in anticipation.~~]

[READER WHY?! (艸дﾟ*)]

You completely lost it.

[Man, I wonder if Nagisa made copies of those, I bet they’re a good read.]

[ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ READER NO.]

[Maybe I could make it a class project. We could all read it aloud in class.]

[R E A D E R（＊〇□〇）……!]

You couldn’t breathe you were laughing so hard. Your phone buzzed a few more times but you couldn’t read the screen through your tears.

Finally you composed yourself enough to check them.

[Why?!]

[IT’S NOT UNUSUAL TO SEND FAN MAIL!]

[DOESN'T ANYONE IN THIS CLASSROOM RESPECT PRIVACY?!]

[You literally went through my notes.]

[♪～(´ε｀ ) ]

[Yeah that’s what I thought.]

Your phone buzzed again but this time it wasn’t from a text.

It was an email that was being sent out to the whole school staff. You opened it curiously.

Apparently one Mr. Hashimoto was retiring soon and there was an soubetsukai being planned. You skimmed through the email but were interrupted by another message. A follow up to the first one.

_“E Class Faculty Please Disregard.”_

Wow…

WOW. That was _rude as fuck_.

[I take it you also received the email?]

[What dicks.]

[Why don’t we host our own enkai?]

[Like?]

[For E Class Faculty!]

[You really want to go out and get drunk with Irina and Karasuma? ಠಿ_ಠ]

[I think it could be fun! ﾟ+｡:.(*･ω･)o旦 旦o(･ω･*).:｡+ﾟAnd an excellent group bonding experience!]

[How are you going to con Karasuma into going?]

[I’m sure he’ll want to come along for supervision. What about you? Would you come?]

Hooooo boy…

This…

This would not end well…

You considered it. Going out and getting shitfaced with Irina, Karasuma, and Korosensei sounded like an even wilder night than your standard enkai. If you knew Irina and Karasuma they’d turn it into an opportunity to assassinate the octopus…

Oof, that uh…

That thought did not feel great.

Would it be _active_ sabotage to go along and keep them too drunk to try anything?

You considered it.

It wouldn’t be like you were _physically_ getting in their way or anything…

You were just giving them a handicap...

[Reader?]

The buzz made you jump and you looked at your phone.

[Yeah! Sounds like fun.]

Oh lord, what had you just signed up for...


	44. The Ones You Left Behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustrations to come! This was original going to be smooshed into the next chapter but I felt that for pacing it did better on it's own.

The next day was hot as hell. You opted for another tank top with an open overshirt situation because like hell were you going around in a button up. Putting your things in the Faculty Lounge, you opened your lesson plan, looking it over.

“Finals are coming up.” you looked up at Karasuma.

It must be hot. The man had even ditched his tie today.

“Mmmhm...” he didn’t look up from the laptop, as per usual.

“I’m guessing we’re going to have a lot of test prep coming up.”

“That we are, Mx. Reader!” Korosensei came in, taking his seat next to you, “It’s going to be quite thrilling.”

“So… two weeks test prep, Finals, and summer vacation.” you ticked the events off on your fingers, “When do you want to do this enkai thing then?”

For the first time that day, you saw Karasuma look up from his laptop. The man never looked paranoid but this was the closest you’d seen him come to it.

“What was that?”

Korosensei chuckled, looking over to him, “I was thinking we could hold a nomikai the weekend before finals. I’m sure that we’ll all be in need of a little relaxation by then.”

“Saturday or Sunday? Because if we do it Saturday evening then we all have Sunday to recover.” you were looking over your schedule.

“Wait, wait...” Karasuma looked across at the two of you, “Is this about that email from the main campus?”

“Well, yes. If they intend to leave us out then why shouldn’t we hold our own?” You looked across the table at him.

_ The Look _ was out in  _ force _ today.

“He” he jabbed a finger in the direction of the octopus, “Is a state secret and an assassination target.”

“And a teacher at this school, just like you and me.” you shrugged.

“Come on, Karasuma! It’ll be fun. A way to blow off steam before the end of the semester!” Korosensei’s tendrils waved about happily, “Besides, isn’t it part of the traditional work bonding experience?”

Karasuma did not look convinced in the slightest.

“I mean hey, you might get to see the octopus get drunk.” you grinned at him.

“What?” Irina had just come into the room, papers in hand, “Who’s getting the octopus drunk?”

“Miss Irina! We’re hosting a nomikai for the E Class faculty!”

“What the hell’s a nomikai?” she looked at the three of you skeptically.

“It’s a work party.” you supplied.

“Lame, pass.” she put her papers down, taking a seat.

“Hey hold on! You haven’t heard about the plans we have lined up for it yet!” Korosensei was clearly alarmed at her immediate refusal.

“An enkai isn’t just a work party.” you said, looking across at her, “I’ve been to one or two. They’re a blast. Lots of drinking, food, and general partying.”

“Who says I’d want to party with you three losers?” she snarked but you noticed her eyes flick over to Karasuma.

“It’ll be fun! We can go to an izakaya and then karaoke and-” Korosensei was cut off by Karasuma.

“And cause more issues for the ministry.”

“Of _ course _ not! You’ll be there.” Green stripes decorated his face, “Besides, isn’t your target being inebriated only  _ helpful _ to your cause? I’m sure you can come up with some very creative assassination plans for this scenario.”

Irina and Karasuma exchanged a look for a moment.

“You know what, sure I’m game.” Irina crossed her arms, sitting back, “But the octopus  _ has _ to drink and no love ballads if we do karaoke.”

Karasuma now had six eyes on him.

He sighed, “Fine, at least I can try to keep you out of trouble.”

“I’ll be in disguise! It’ll be fiiiiine.~” Korosensei’s grin widened as he waved off Karasuma’s concerns.

“HEY! GUYS! THE POOL!” Okajima’s voice was panicked out in the hall. 

You and your coworkers exited the office.

Korosensei approached the boy, “What about the pool, Okajima?”

“It’s completely trashed!”

“What?!” the voice belonged to Isogai who was popping his head out of the classroom.

“Now, now, children,” Korosensei held up his hands, “Let’s go take a look, I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that.”

A short walk later you could see that it was, in fact, as bad as all that.

Whoever had targeted the swimming hole had thoroughly wrecked the place. The deck chairs were smashed, the swimming lanes torn apart, trash spread liberally through the clear water…

“It’s a mess!” Maehara was pissed.

“Now we’ll never get to see Professor Bitch in a sexy bikini!” Okajima was having a melt down.

“EY!”

Okuda and a few of the other kids headed down to the water’s edge, checking things out. She picked up a crushed can floating on the water and adjusted her glasses, “This sucks… There’s trash everywhere… who would do something like this?”

Your first thought was that the main campus had gotten word about the pool and opted to ruin one of the few good things E Class had.

But that thought was quickly flipped when you heard some muffled laughter from behind the group. Turning, you spotted Terasaka, Muramatsu, and Yoshia all sporting shit-eating grins.

“Whoa, this is gonna be a royal pain to clean up.” Yoshida chuckled.

Muramatsu shrugged, “Who cares?  _ Swimming _ is a pain.”

Nagisa’s attention was caught by the boys too.

“Ey, Nagisa, what’re you lookin’ at?” Terasaka asked, advancing on him, he grabbed the boy by the front of his shirt, “You think  _ we  _ did this? You stupid or something?”

Before you could intervene Korosensei popped up by the boys, swiftly and gently removing Nagisa from the boy’s grasp, “Or something. I  _ believe _ is the correct answer. But, nevermind that, identifying the culprit would be a waste of time.”

There was a rush of wind and water and-

The pool was pristine again. Korosensei chuckled, “It doesn’t matter who did it anymore. Everything's cleaned up now. The pool will be open for PE today.”

The students were laughing and cheering. You looked over to Karasuma and Irina. Neither looked phased. You supposed you shouldn’t be either. Hell, you’d seen him pull some wild nonsense on Saturday but… it was still crazy to you. It was absolutely insane how quickly the human mind could adjust to a batshit crazy situation like this.

Karma was messing around at the water’s edge.

“Come along, Karma, it’s time for second period.” Korosensei called over, waving a tentacle.

“Sure thing, Teach.” He straightened, following casually behind the class.

You fell in with the other teachers and looked over at Korosensei, “You’re not going to punish them?”

“What would be the point?” he glanced over at you, “A much more effective deterrent is to show them that their efforts will bear no fruit.”

You supposed that did make sense-

Korosensei shrieked beside you and you nearly jumped out of your skin. Karma laughed, “What’s wrong? Too cold?”

He was holding up a squirt gun.

“KARMA! THAT IS NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR TEACHER!” he shook a fist at the boy. His face was swollen in patches.

You chuckled, “So, water guns are clearly effective huh?”

He gave you a sour look.

From behind you, you picked up on scattered conversation from the kids.

“What’s up with Terasaka?” Sugino asked.

“Hm, those three were never that motivated to study or assassinate, but lately he’s been in a really rotten mood. I’m positive he had something to do with trashing the pool.” Nagisa sounded troubled.

Sugino sighed, “Well, forget him. He’s always been a bully. He probably doesn’t like the changes in 3-E.”

“Oh, come on...” Karma drawled, “This is an assassination classroom! Who  _ wouldn’t _ like that?”

From what you recalled, Terasaka and the other two had been among the first to attempt an assassination. At least that’s what Karasuma had told you. Maybe that initial failure had put a damper on their future attempts? Being in a low class like E did do a number on self esteem…

Once back at the schoolhouse, things fell into the relatively normal routine of class. You’d set up a game plan for assisting with finals preparations and worked out a few ideas for locations for the nomikai. When lunch rolled around you made your way to the classroom to check in with your tentacled coworker, maybe he’d be interested in lu-

There was a motorcycle in the classroom.

A motorcycle made entirely out of wood.

And Korosensei was on it dressed in full racing gear.

Okay. You shook your head and joined the kids in looking it over.

“See, Yoshida? It’s the model you were looking at. I collected all the scrap wood that was dumped in the pool and built it for you.” Korosensei sounded proud, not in his mocking tone for once.

Wait… the wood from the pool?  _ When the hell _ did he build this thing anyway?

“Are you serious? That is AWESOME! Holy crap you even got the flair sides right! It’s spot on!” this was probably the most excited you’d ever heard Yoshida in… well,  _ ever _ .

You had no idea he was so passionate about bikes. He barely talked about them. You only knew his parents owned a motorcycle company so it made sense you supposed.

You smiled 

The door to the classroom had slid open during his outburst and Terasaka stood there, his expression brooding, “The hell’re you so stoked about?”

He was glowering at Yoshida. 

“Oh. Hey Terasaka.” he hiked a thumb over at Korosensei, “The two of us were talkin’ motorcycles the other day, since no one else around here is into ‘em. Turns out Korosensei knows as much as I do about ‘em.”

“I may be an adult but I’ll never outgrow the need for speed. I’ve dabbled in  _ manly _ hobbies like this for years.” 

Manly hobbies? You shook your head. Hard to equate that to the octopus that had admitted to having  _ sexy sleepwear _ over the weekend.

“Did you know this baby can reach up to 300 kilometers per hour? What I wouldn’t give to burn rubber on the genuine article someday.” he stepped off the bike, removing his helmet and swiftly popping back into his regular robes.

“Are you kidding? You could get this puppy to Mach 20 without pumpin’ the gas!”

The kids laughed a bit at that. It always was… weird to you that he wanted to do things slowly. Like the cranes or the trip to Kyoto.

You supposed it made sense… but it was still-

Terasaka stepped in and, without any preamble, kicked over the replica.

Korosensei shrieked.

“Come on dude, what the hell is wrong with you?” Yoshida yelled, rounding on Terasaka.

“Apologize immediately! Korosensei worked very hard on that to showcase his manliness and you just reduced him to tears!” Nakamura looked pissed.

There was a clamor as the other kids agreed.

Korosensei was clutching one of the damaged wheels, crying dramatically over it.

“Terasaka, you need to-” the boy cut you off before you could finish.

“You’re all talkin’ to me and all I hear is a swarm of freakin’ locusts.” Terasaka reached into his desk, pulling out a can, “It’s time for some pest control!”

You saw him spike the can at the ground before the room was filled with gas.

“What th-?”

“Is that a bug bomb?”

“Outside everyone!” you called out, heading to the door and opening it.

The last thing you needed was a bunch of inhalation issues in the kids. The class spilled out into the hall, coughing. You peeked back into the room as the clouds dispersed. Not everyone had left...

“That does it! Enough is enough!” Korosensei was bright red as the smoke began to clear. He approached Terasaka with purpose, “I enjoy a good prank as much as the next man bu-”

As he reached out to touch the boy’s shoulder Terasaka shrugged him off, batting the hand away, “Don’t touch me,  _ monster _ .” Korosensei’s hand pulled back and Terasaka took a step towards him. You bristled internally as the boy continued, “Yeah you heard me! You’re a  _ monster! _ A freak of nature! Anyone who falls for your nice guy act is stupid!”

“I don’t know what’s got your jock in a tangle today, but if he’s such a monster, why not man-up and kill him?” Karma drawled from the back of the classroom, “I mean, last I checked that  _ is _ what we’re supposed to do here.”

“You aimin’ to start something with me, tough guy?” he rounded on Karma, “Cause I’ve wanted to bash your stupid head in since day one-” 

Karma’s hand shot up, grabbing Terasaka’s face, palm over mouth, “A little advice. You got this backwards. You gotta bash my head in  _ before _ you can run your mouth.”

Terasaka slapped his hand away, stepping back, “Let go of me! Buncha losers!”

And with that he stormed out of the classroom, slamming the door behind him.

“What’s  _ with  _ him?” Maehara huffed, leaning back into the room.

Isogai sighed, “I dunno. He always has to stir things up. I wish we could all get along...”

You made your way to the windows, opening them, “Can someone please check that cannister? I want to see if we need to take any precautions.”

Okuda retrieved a tissue and picked up the canister, looking it over, “ Pyrethroid…”

You thought over this, you’d heard of the chemical but-

“A common insecticide.” Korosensei gave a nod, “I’ll take care of it. Though perhaps a lunch outdoors would be a better plan for the day.”

In a flurry the room was wiped down, and the motorcycle reconstructed… for the most part. There were clear indicators of the breaks in the wood.

In the end the class ended up picnicking outside under the trees. It was a nice change of scenery despite the heat.

“You’ve all been in class with Terasaka for awhile… do you know if anything’s bothering him?” you looked up at the students, taking a bite of your sandwich.

Muramatsu and Yoshida looked shame faced into their own lunches. It was Sugino who actually spoke up, “Terasaka’s always been like that, just not this bad.”

“Yeah, he’s kind of a tool.” you were surprised to see that it was Hazama speaking up, “Not a bad guy but… not a great one either.”

There was subtle nodding from the other students.

“Any idea why?” you sat back against the tree, Korosensei a foot or so to your left, subtly stealing bamboo shoot cookies from the box next to you.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Karma chuckled, “Can’t be top dog in a class taught by the octopus. Not with his skills anyway.” he took a drink of his bottled water.

“What does he excel at?” you looked over at them.

“Brute force.” Karma snorted, “Guy’s a bull in a china shop.”

“Bullying was kind of his thing growing up.” Sugino was laying back in the grass, tossing a baseball up and catching it.

You tipped your head back, looking at the leaves overhead, “I guess when you’re used to that being put into a classroom that challenges you is a bit of culture shock.”

“Well, I mean it was kind of a shock for most of us.” Nagisa said, looking up, “But adapting is part of being an assassin.”

“I believe we’ll see Terasaka come around.” Korosensei looked over to the group, “Though I am a touch worried about his attendance. He tends to walk out often.”

“You could stop him.” you looked up at him.

He looked down to you, “Forcing him to be here would be quite against the point of learning. An unwilling mind isn’t open to lessons.”

You supposed that was true…

Polishing off your sandwich, you stood up.

“Muramatsu, Yoshida.”

The boys looked up in surprise.

“Where does Terasaka hang out most?” you crossed your arms, looking down at them.

“Uh...” the boys shared a look for a moment, “There’s a big oak tree a little ways upstream from the pool...”

“Thanks.” you headed off into the woods. You wanted to see if you could locate Terasaka and maybe talk to him about his outburst.

You did find the oak in question. A gorgeous specimen, huge. But no Terasaka. You stood for a moment, admiring the tree. You could see why he’d like the spot. It was secluded and cooled by the leaves overhead and the chill coming off the stream.

You heard the crunching of twigs nearby and looked up to see Terasaka storming out of the bushes in a huff.

“Terasaka.”

He looked up at you, surprise coloring his features for a moment before they went right back to their usual irritation, “If you’re here to tell me to come back to class, Doc-”

“I’m not.” you looked back up at the tree for a moment, “I wanted to know if something was wrong.”

“Wha-” he stared at you like you were an idiot. You got a lot of that in this classroom, you’d noticed, “OF COURSE SOMETHING’S WRONG!”

You focused your attention on him.

“THERE’S A GIANT FLYING OCTOPUS THREATENING TO BLOW UP THE EARTH! HE ALREADY BLEW UP THE MOON! AND  _ I’M THE ONLY ONE WORRIED ABOUT IT!” _ there was a waver in his voice for a moment, then he continued on, “Everything was fine until he showed up. Everything was just _ peachy _ . Everything made  _ sense _ .”

This poor kid…

“STOP LOOKIN’ AT ME LIKE THAT!” he yelled, “I’m not some sick puppy for you to take in or something.”

“You’re not.” you agreed quietly.

“And besides you’re all snuggled up to that octopus all the time, you’re the worst of any of them! You’re not even TRYING to kill him!” he pointed at you, getting up in your face.

It wasn’t your first time dealing with a scared kid.

It wasn’t your first time dealing with someone in a hard place.

And it wasn’t your first time dealing with someone in need… who didn’t want help.

“I’m not.” you nodded.

“WHY?” his eyes were hard, his stance taut.

When you spoke next, it was soft, “Because I’ve already got one death on my conscience.”

He hadn’t expected that. His face stilled for a moment, but only a moment, “What the hell? So just cause you feel  _ guilty _ means you want everyone else to die?”

“No, I’ve got faith in the lot of you to take care of him. You’re good students and you’ve learn-”

“Oh stop it with the preaching. You’re just as bad as he is.” he huffed and went over, leaning his head against the tree, “I didn’t ASK to be signed up for this. None of us did.  _ You’re adults _ .  _ You’re _ supposed to be the ones dealing with this crap, not  _ us _ . If the fuckin’ military can’t do anything what are  _ we _ supposed to do?”

You walked over, leaning your back against the tree, “It’s hard when everyone expects something of you that you don’t feel you can give.”

He shot you a look and for a moment, just a half a second, you could have sworn the boy’s eyes were watering.

“Whatever, I’m out of here.” he stormed off again, this time, towards the trail.

You sighed and looked back up at the tree for a moment before heading back to the schoolhouse.

You didn’t tell anyone you’d found him.

Talks with you were usually confidential and although he hadn’t asked you thought he would appreciate it if no one knew the things he’d said.

That night you wrote up your notes for the Ministry, including the things you’d learned over the weekend.

It made you feel sick.

But you reminded yourself that he’d asked you to share the information, at the very least with the kids…

You sent an email to Nagisa, updating him as well.

There was one thing you held back. You weren’t sure if he’d been literal about being an assassin. That was something you wanted to dig into a little further…

In the meantime, you had a little research to do.


	45. The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Illustrations to come!

The next day, you assisted Irina with arrangements for her finals prep. Korosensei was, of course, planning to cover it too but she wanted to make sure they were prepared and you were a native speaker. It was such a change from when she’d first arrived, this commitment to the job.

After that, you’d made your way into the nurse’s office. You took a bit of time to arrange a second mobile med kit. After the other day with Kayano in the pool you thought it might be a good idea to have one more water-emergency centric. For once you were grateful for the government’s hodge podge collection of items they’d sent to you. After your research last night you had made a note to yourself to suggest a shepherd’s crook pool pole to Korosensei. If he couldn’t get  _ in _ the water that would be one way he could assist the kids if needed...

There was a ping on your phone and when you checked it-

[Mx. Reader! Could I speak with you?]

It… was Ritsu.

[Sure… it’s not going to interrupt class for you is it?]

She popped up on your screen with a smile, “Oh no! I have the processing power to handle multiple instances of myself at once.”

“I guess you probably get Korosensei better than most of us in that regard.” you sat are your desk and propped your phone up against a stack of books, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“I had a few questions.”

You gave a nod, “Okay, shoot.”

“Korosensei has asked that I not deploy my weapons in class.”

You laughed, putting your hand to your face, “Not… Shoot is a way of saying go ahead and ask your question. Like fire away. Give me your questions.”

“Oh!” she made a face, “Human phrases are so odd.”

You chuckled, “So, your questions...”

“I wanted to know if you’d made any progress on something that would allow me to swim.”

Oh shit, you’d almost forgotten.

“Not yet. I’ll bring it up to Korosensei. I’m sure between the two of us we can come up with something.”

She beamed, “Also, I wanted to ask a question about Terasaka’s behavior yesterday...”

“Sure.” you rested your chin on your hand.

“Why did he attack our classmates? Isn’t that counter intuitive to the goal of the classroom?”

You gave a nod, “It is, yeah. The thing is, sometimes humans will lash out at others even if they’re close.”

“Why?”

“Because they have a bigger problem they’re dealing with.”

She took a moment processing this, “I wish I could let him use my cooperative software.”

You chuckled, “I wish you could too, it would probably make things a lot easier. But we’re a lot messier in that regard.”

She gave a nod.

“Thank you, Mx. Reader! Can I come to you about future sociology and psychology questions?”

“Sure thing, Ritsu.”

She gave a wave and blinked off screen.

This whole class was always surprising you…

At lunch time you made your way to the classroom, hoping for a calmer lunch than yesterday’s start had been. The kids were pushing their desks together and you opted to sit with a group you hadn’t talked to much as they had an open space available.

Hazama, Yoshida, and Muramatsu.

They glanced between one another as you sat down. Muramatsu was the first one to speak up, “Hey, Mx. Reader.”

“Hey.” you gave them all a smile, “I guess Terasaka didn’t come in today?”

“Nah he bailed,” Hazama wasn’t looking at you, instead she was eating and reading…

“Is that Uzumaki?” you leaned over just a touch, looking at the pages.

You rarely saw Hazama express much but her eyes absolutely lit up, she kept her voice to it’s usual casual drawl, “Yeah. You know it?”

“Yeah. A friend gave me one of his anthologies awhile back.”

Her eyes narrowed, suspicious, “Which one?”

“Shiver.”

“Nice.” she gave a nod.

That seemed to make the other two at the table relax a bit.

You looked up and paused, “Uh… what’s up with the octopus?”

“No idea, he’s been like that all day.” Muramatsu shrugged.

Korosensei was at his podium. You noticed that his lunch seemed to consist of nothing but pastries. What had caught your attention was that he appeared to be crying.

That’s what it seemed like anyway… though given how he’d cried over the bike yesterday, you noticed it wasn’t quite the same.

Irina looked up from her own lunch. You were happy to see she’d opted to join the class for once.

She huffed, “Okay, could you please stop? This crying business is ridiculous.” 

“Excuse me! For you information, these are my nostrils. I’m not crying, my nose is running!” Korosensei looked at her, long trails of thick yellow mucus running down his face.

_ Gross. _

Possibly the grossest thing you’d seen so far from him.

What the fuck? 

“How am I supposed to know that?!” Irina exclaimed, looking over at him.

“For some reason my sinuses have been running amok since yesterday.” he sniffled further.

Y i k e s, that was…

That was really,  _ really _ disgusting.

You were actually being put off your lunch.

The door slid open behind you and when you glanced back, Terasaka was entering.

“Terasaka, thank heavens! I had this awful feeling you abandoned our class for good! Let’s let bygones be bygones.” he was… oh god… Terasaka’s face was spattered with mucus.

Christ.

Korosensei sniffled, “I thought about it all day yesterday and concluded it would be best to talk with you in person. How about we have a little chat later today and you tell me what's been bugging you?”

Terasaka didn’t look impressed. Or happy. He grabbed Korosensei’s tie, wiping his face clean.

“So, octopus.I think it’s time we stopped messin’ around and killed you for real. Come by the pool after class. We all know your big weakness is water, don’t we now? You all come help! I’ll knock him smack into the water for you!”

“Where’s this coming from?” Maehara stood up, “You haven’t helped with anyone else’s assassination, Terasaka. You pride yourself on having the worst attitude in this class. And now, when it’s convenient for you, you’re ordering us around... Give me one good reason why any of us should help you.”

“Like I give a damn either way. I didn’t want to share the prize money with you dead-asses anyway.” Terasaka left the room.

“The hell is his deal all of a sudden?” Yoshida rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, I can’t keep up with him anymore.” Muramatsu watched the door slide shut.

You sighed, “Maybe this is him trying...” you faltered, what was… you looked down.

Oh… god?

You lifted your feet out of the puddle slowly creeping across the floor.

“Well, I’m not going.” Hinano said sharply.

Okano nodded, “Same.”

“Yeah. Pass.” Chiba said.

“Let’s _ all _ go! It’ll be fun!” Korosensei waved his hands.

“Korosensei, please… just...” you looked up at him, “Do something about your face?”

The children were making their way to the door to escape the growing puddle stemming from their teacher’s face.

“Terasaka’s finally showing some initiative! We have to be supportive! I realize he’s been rather difficult in the past, but this is everyone’s chance to kill and make up!” Korosensei was passionate, but also just...

“Why are you so  _ gross? _ ” Kimura groaned, leaning in from the hall.

You had to agree.

_ This _ is where you had chosen to lay your affections.

But frankly, after seeing that, you were questioning your choices.

The kids quickly suited up for the water. You did the same, just in case. With your kit in hand, you followed the class out to the pool. You maneuvered your way to the further end of the pool with the ladder, looking out at the kids wading through the water, knives in hand.

“Yeah, there we go! Everybody stay spread out like that! Nice and far apart!” Terasaka was gesturing to the class, almost like he was trying to direct traffic.

“Yeah we get it , thanks.” Yada didn’t sound impressed with him.

“I’m not so sure about this plan of yours.” Takebayashi pushed his glasses up, “It’s highly unlikely we’ll get Korosensei in the water against his wil-”

“How unlikely is it that I get you in the water against your will?” Terasaka punctuated this by kicking Takebayashi directly into the water.

“Terasaka!” you shouted over at him.

He smirked your way, “What of it, Doc? You’re not supposed to interfere with assassination attempts, remember?”

Oh, that little mother fucker.

You weren’t the only one who wasn’t pleased. Most of the kids seemed put out with his behavior.

Korosensei approached the boy, surveying the scene, “Ah _ ha _ . So I  _ assume _ the idea is to push me in the water and have everyone converge on me with their knives? So,  _ tell me _ , have you worked out how to actually push me in? It’s only good sportsmanship to tell you that fancy pistol of yours won’t do the trick.”

Terasaka glanced over his gun for a moment before leveling it at his teacher, ““Best say your prayers, monster. This is it.””

Korosensei didn’t seem phased in the least, in fact he sounded positively chipper about the whole thing, “I’m ready when you are! In fact, my sinuses have even cleared.”

Thank god for small miracles. You  _ never _ wanted to see that again if you could help it.

“For the record, I’ve always hated you with a passion. I couldn’t wait for you to up and disappear.” Terasaka’s aim didn’t waver.

“Oh,  _ I’m well aware _ .” Korosensei’s voice dipped into that infuriating mocking tone, green stripes fading into view on his face, “Methinks we should have a little sit-down after this.  _ Talk out our differences. _ ”

The trigger was pulled and-

You were nearly knocked off your feet by the shockwave.

The sound was overwhelming for a moment, your ears ringing. What ha-

The opposite end of the pool shot skyward in a plume of water and shrapnel.

Oh-

Oh god.

A shockwave of water buffeted the kids for a moment before suddenly receding, sweeping them through the newly formed hole.

“My students!” Korosensei shot after them.

From what you could recall from your walk yesterday that end of the stream-

Fuck that was where the waterfall was. 

You took off running, grabbing a life preserver from the ladder along the way.

“TERASAKA!” you called to the boy, waving for him to follow.

You were going to need all the help you could get.

You already knew there was nothing you could do to stop the students from being swept away. Any effort you made in that department would take too much time. But Korosensei was pulling them out of the rapids and you could at least treat the ones who he’d gotten to safety. 

Terasaka was back at the pool, Karma hadn’t joined the class. You were looking at a potential total of twenty-five victims here. 

Way too many.

Find them.

Stabilize them.

Get the least injured to assist.

Observation, orientation, decision, action.

The first students you came across were Isogai and Fuwa. Both were running along the bank as well.

“With me!” you yelled to them, “You both okay?”

“We’re fine!” Isogai nodded.

“Hey, Doc!” you looked over to find Karma had appeared running alongside, “Terasaka blew the dam, crazy, right?”

Terasaka-

You hadn’t made the connection.

_ What the hell had he been thinking? _

You were dreading what you might see at the cliff. You braced yourself for gore. For broken limbs and bleeding trauma but instead what you found…

Were your students.

They stood clustered to the edge, looking down. A few were bleeding here and there, the blast had flung debris far and wide.

But they were all  _ standing _ .

And that was a fucking  _ miracle _ if you ever saw one.

You followed their gaze-

Below, in a shallow pool, a blur of gray and yellow whipped back and forth at one another. On the shore was a familiar white robed figure.

Itona. Shiro.

“This is unreal!” Okajima was on all fours, staring over the edge. You could see his limbs trembling. The adrenaline rush was hitting everyone, you were sure.

“That’s maybe a foot of water. Can it seriously throw him off that much?” Yada looked from Korosensei to the others.

Terasaka ran up next to you, “It ain’t just the water. That bug bomb yesterday did some damage too.”

Glares were cast in his direction.

“You’ve got some nerv-” Isogai started but Terasaka cut him off quickly.

“An’ I’m helpin’ now. Look, he just saved you from drowning. He can’t go all out ‘cause he’s spent. And his attention’s still divided.” he gestured.

Further down the cliff pressed against the rocks were Yoshida and Muramatsu and overhead, hanging from a tree branch, was Hara.

“He shunted them up there to save them, but they’re still within range of Itona’s tentacles.” Terasaka continued.

“He can’t focus on the fight because he’s too worried about them!” Okuda fretted.

“‘Specially her. That fatty’ll be toast soon.” Terasaka’s expression was grim.

“We have to help!” Nagisa was in a panic.

“Takabayashi, triage on anyone with open wounds. If it needs stitches have them sit aside. Isogai, Megu, anyone not injured, come with me.” You fished out the one thing you didn’t think you’d need today. Something you were certainly glad of now.

A coil of rope.

You made your way over to the cliff edge, looking down at Yoshida and Muramatsu.

“Tie this off to one of the trees back there.” you passed one end of the rope to Okano who gave a nod.

Isogai spoke up, addressing Terasaka as you began tying a lineman’s loop near the end, “Wait, hold on a sec. This wasn’t even your plan, was it? You got roped into this.”

Terasaka’s tone was rough, as usual, but filled with new resolve, “Like a head of cattle, but hey, that’s what happens when you got sight and no vision. Some smartass wolf comes along and, before you know it, you’re on the menu.”

Okano came running up, “It’s secure.”

“Yoshida! Muramatsu! Are you boys injured?” you called down.

You were met with two tense faces.

“No!” Muramatsu called up.

Good. That made this easier.

“I’m tossing down a rope. Muramatsu, you first!” you slung the rope over the edge carefully. Behind you you could hear Terasaka continuing, “Thing is though, if I’m gonna be played, I pick the tune. I’ve had it up to here with these jerks and the idea of them gettin’ the prize money? Don’t get me started! You’re a smart dude Karma. You be the puppet master and I’ll be the puppet. Come up with something awesome. If you’re the brains then I’m the brawn, you got it? Give me a plan and I’ll save every one of them, fatty and the monster included!”

Well that was one hell of a change of tune. You watched as Muramatsu grabbed the rope.

“Get your foot in the hold and hang on!” you called down. He nodded, readying himself.

“Okay,” you waved a hand, “Need some help guys.”

Several of the kids joined you and you made quick work of pulling Muramatsu up.

It wasn’t an ideal rig but you needed to get these guys out of harm's way and fast.

The scrambled up over the edge, joining his classmates.

Your attention was pulled away suddenly by Terasaka’s voice from the bottom of the cliff.

“Hey!”

What was he-

“Can I help you?” Shiro turned his attention to the boy immediately.

“So, bet you jerks think you played me pretty good.”

“Does that wound your ego? There’s something to be said for being the perfect foil, my friend. Or are you suddenly upset we endangered the classmates you care nothing for? ”

“Shut up! I ain’t gonna forgive you for what you did! Payback’s about to be a real bitch!” the boy whipped off his shirt, squaring off against Korosensei’s attacker, “Itona! You an’ me, one-on-one, right now!”

Korosensei was sharp but with an undercurrent of panic, “Don’t be ridiculous, Terasaka! He’ll throttle you!”

“I wasn’t talkin’ to you, Tentacles!” Terasaka looked directly at Itona, holding up his shirt much like a bullfighter would.

“He’s tapped into his inner hero. Shut him down, Itona. For good.” Shiro’s voice went from amused to commanding instantly.

Takebayashi was beside you suddenly, “No stitches needed. All small cuts and abrasions, looks like the worst of it might have shot downstream.”

_ Thank god. _

“Okay, good work.” you gave him a nod.

“What’ve you done?!” Nagisa was yelling at Karma

Oh…

_ You be the puppet master and I’ll be the puppet.  _

What were these boys  _ doing? _

“No worries. Shiro’s not out to kill us students. We’re not the target, after all, and we’re too valuable alive.” Karma’s voice was smooth, relaxed, “As long as we’re in danger, Korosensei can’t concentrate on the fight. Even Hara isn’t that bad off, Itona’s attacks won’t be targeting her. It may look like he’s in over his head, but Terasaka knows exactly what to expect. Tentacle Boy will try to knock him unconscious, but if he grabs on and rides it out, we’re good.”

You watched as Itona struck Terasaka in his midsection. The boy slid back cushioning the blow with his shirt. Not that it was much of a cushion...

“That’s an impressive grip you’ve got there. Let’s see if it holds up under  _ another _ lashing.” Shiro was amused.

And then you heard something so out of place that for half a second you thought you’d imagined it.

Itona sneezed.

And sneezed again.

And again.

If it wasn’t for the situation and the boy’s status as a tentacle wielding psychotic marshmallow, it would be  _ almost _ adorable.

“That’s yesterday’s shirt. The one he had on when he bug-bombed the class which means it got a point-blank range dose from whatever was in that spray. I figured if it affected Korosensei, it’ll affect Itona.” 

Itona was still sneezing, mucus accumulating and dripping from his tentacles in much the same way as Korosensei had been leaking it this morning. 

“And there you go. Now Tentacle Boy’s distracted and the octopus has a chance to rescue Hara.” There was a familiar rush of wind and Korosensei was back at the base of the cliff, Hara in hand

Karma chuckled, “You gotta love a good plan”

“Yoshida! Gimme a real big one!” Terasaka yelled up, slapping the water.

Yoshida looked down for a moment, he was arguably closer to the water than Muramatsu had been. Looking back up he flashed you a grin.

Oh…

Oh my god?

Yoshida leapt down into the water.

“Logically, the two of them have the exact same weaknesses. Easy, turn the own kid’s tactics against him, and voila.” Karma looked at the others who immediately ran down to assist, sliding carefully down the rocks before leaping into the waters below.

You were left on all fours, looking over the edge of the cliff at the most ridiculous looking water fight you had ever seen.

You made your own way down, medkit in hand and came to rest on a rocky outcropping that Karma had taken up position on.

“Well, that escalated quickly. Looks like you’ve got a problem with water retention there, pal.” The boy smirked.

From the low growl you heard from Shiro, it seemed Karma’s plot had worked  _ perfectly. _

Christ these kids were frightening.

“All right, here’s the deal. We’re not okay with you hogging all the prize money, or with the fact that your plan revolved around putting our lives on the line. Slapping one of our own around doesn’t sit well either. So if you wanna keep at this we’re  _ more than willing _ to play in the water with you.”

The kids scooped up water in whatever was available to them. Plastic bags, buckets, most of it seemed like debris from the pool.

Itona looked around him in a panic. You had never seen a child look so terrified by the idea of a water fight.

“Well played, children.” Shiro said, “We withdraw. The slaughter of innocents was never our intention.” he seemed to speak softly to himself for a moment, and then, “Come along, Itona!”

Itona stood, seething.

“We’re  _ leaving _ , Itona.”

The boy began to growl, low and quiet.

“Well? Wasn’t that a fun time with everyone?” it was Korosensei speaking, you’d thought seeing him swell in humidity was bad but this…

“Why not join us, Itona? For real this time.” his voice, in spite of everything, was friendly and approachable.

“ITONA!” Shiro shouted.

The boy cast one last angry look around at the class before shooting away to join his guardian.

The two retreated into the forest.

In spite of everything, you took a little solace in knowing that the boy was not only alive, but seemed to be in better control of himself… even if only a bit. You slid down off the rocks, wading in the water towards the class and your coworker.

“I thought we would never get rid of those two.” Sugino sighed, tossing the bucket in his hands behind him.

“We saved your bacon didn’t we?” Okano gave Korosensei a wink, “It’s a good thing we’re quick on our feet or you’d be a goner.”

“Nurufufufu~ That’s _ adorable _ . I’m grateful, of course, for what you did. But I still had a few tricks up my sleeve, just so you know. ”

You approached him, looking him over.

He turned his attention to you for a moment.

“You look like a water balloon.”

“Well that’s not my fault!” he said, indignant.

“That reminds me, Terasaka. I heard that fatty comment...” Hara was getting right up in Terasaka’s face.

The boy whirled around, “I didn’t mean to be a dick I was just sizing up the situation objectively!”

“Sizing it up?! I may be on the hefty side, but I can still kick your ass!” she advanced on him, backing him up to the rocks where Karma was perched.

You bit your lip.

It was nice to see yelling that was…  _ less _ life threatening than usual.

“You really are totally tactless, Terasaka. A little tact goes a long way, man. You should try it next time. Kinda hard to run from the wolves with your foot in your mouth, just sayin’.” Karma chuckled.

“Why don’t you get down off your perch and say that to my face!” he reached up and whipped Karma directly into the pool, “How ‘bout  _ that?! _ ”

Karma leapt to his feet and you were amused that, for the first time in this classroom, you heard him sound legitimately annoyed instead of his cool guy smarm, “HEY! I’m s’posed to be your puppet master, remember?! Is this how you treat your boss?!”

“My boss?! That was a temporary arrangement and you’re not the one who took a tentacle to the gut! That’s right! I was down here taking all the hits ‘cause you don’t have the balls to do your own dirty work!”

“True, you sorta kept your distance the whole time...” Megu trailed off, glancing at Nakamura.

Nakamura took the hint and grinned, “Ohhhh, don’t like getting your hands dirty huh?  _ We can fix that! _ ”

Which is how Karma ended up on the receiving end of the same water treatment Itona had gotten.

“I think we can all agree Terasaka isn’t exactly cut out to be a mastermind,” Korosensei reached up and proceeded to wring out his face, you had almost forgotten about that and lord you were  _ not  _ pleased with the visual reminder, “but when tasked with putting someone else’s plan into action, he’s invaluable. On the field, his confidence shines through and things get done. It’s as simple as that. No self-respecting assassination squad should be without him.”

“Definitely.” Nagisa nodded before going to join in with the rest of them.

The kids continued their horseplay for a bit.

It was like nothing had happened. Like they hadn’t just nearly died.

You shook your head to yourself.

“They recover  _ so fast. _ ”

“They’re children.” Korosensei dashed out of the water, alighting on the rocks nearby, “They bounce back incredibly well.”

You joined him, leaning against the rocks, “True but… these guys...”

“One doesn’t hit rock bottom without learning how to navigate disappointment, failure, and hardship.” he settled himself on the edge of the rocks, tentacles hanging down. They were slowly going from the angry red they had been to their normal yellow.

“That looks painful.”

“It’s certainly not comfortable.” he chuckled, “But it’s quite manageable.”

“You know… sometimes I wonder why I’m here.”

“Nue?” he looked over at you in surprise.

“Between you and the kids today you barely needed me.” you chuckled, “They’re very well prepared for things.”

“Nonsense.” he shook his head, “You are preparing them for the inevitable moment when they won’t have you as a back up. It is a credit to  _ your _ training that they react as well as they do when faced with injury.” he looked out at the kids, Karma was on Terasaka’s back like a monkey at this point, “And knowing that you’re there gives me a bit of peace of mind, I must admit.”

“Yeah?”

“If something were to happen to me.” his voice was softer, “If I left. If I’m killed.” he looked over at you, “You intend to stay, don’t you?”

You gave a nod, “What else would I do?”

He went a touch pink and you saw an expression of fondness cross his features, “And that is why it gives me peace of mind.”

Between the adrenaline and the praise you felt like you would have fallen over if it wasn’t for the rock you were leaning against.

“...I’m glad.”

He gave a nod and looked over at the students, “Okay everyone! I believe it’s time to get back to the classroom!”

“Aw, come on! We almost died!” Yoshida protested but he was laughing.

“And I’d rather not have your grades die on Finals. Remember, that is next week.” he looked at all of them, “It’s time to begin study prep.”

There were a few groans and sighs but they felt half-hearted at best. The kids were still clearly excited from the days events, no matter how terrifying.

You wish you could say the same.

Instead you just felt _ exhausted _ .

But you still had work to do.

The rest of the afternoon was spent patching up the few kids that needed bandages, using it as first aid practice, and then you called Terasaka to the nurse’s office to check out his abdomen. Korosensei, in the meantime, fixed the pool so that it would be ready the next day and set about test prep.

Terasaka sat on the cot uncomfortably, “Let’s get this over with.”

You looked over his abdomen, a nasty bruise was forming, lovely. You gently reached out, checking the skin, no distention that you could see, no breaks.

“Okay, lay back.”

“What the hell for?!” he looked at you in mild alarm.

“I just have to make sure there’s nothing wrong deeper in. I have to feel your stomach.”

He sat there glaring at you for a long moment.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” he flopped back with a huff.

You checked the abdominal quadrants for pain, “Relax, now, is this painful?”

“I’m bruised, Doc, of course it is.”

“I trust you to know the difference between the pain of a bruise and something else.” you said idly, still pressing various locations, no guarding, no rigidity. Good, he wasn’t reflexively trying to protect any spots. So no specific locations of pain. No swelling either.

You relaxed and stepped back, “Okay. Let me know if you feel anymore pain or if anything feels off, alright?”

He begrudgingly nodded, sitting up.

“Hey.”

You looked up at him from your notes, “Yes?”

“Sorry to give you more work, Doc...”

You chuckled, “That’s what I’m here for. Are you feeling better after yesterday?”

He sighed and tipped his head back, looking at the ceiling, “I feel like an  _ ass _ . Those guys totally took me for a ride.”

“It’s not unusual.” you grabbed a rolling chair, plunking down, “Some people are manipulators and they often target your emotions to get under your skin.”

He glanced down at you for half a moment and looked away.

“There’s no need to be ashamed of having emotions.” you gestured, “But it’s important not to let them lead you around by the nose. It’s rough. You guys are in a tough situation, tougher than any I’ve been in for sure… but,” he looked at you, “you have the advantage. You’re not alone. You all have one another, you have your skills, you have your teachers. Today you proved that something that some people might see as your biggest weakness is actually an _ asset _ . That’s an accomplishment. Even if the octopus is still alive.”

He looked away again.

The day’s events had certainly cowed him a bit.

“You really do sound like him sometimes.” he snarked and then sighed, “But I guess you’re right. I mean, it’s not like we’re outta time or anything. We got what?”

“Seven and a half months give or take.”

“How the hell you know that off the top of your head?”

“Keeping track.” you nodded to the strands of cranes by the door, “Trying to see how many on average we need to make to hit the goal before March.”

“Huh.” he stared at the cranes for a long moment, “What’s the magic number?”

You chuckled, “Somewhere around three or four a day. A little over a hundred a month.”

“Goddamn.” he shook his head.

You looked up at the boy, “Don’t forget you’re not alone here, Terasaka.” you looked over to the cranes, “If it was just one of us making cranes it would take longer, be harder. But with all of you working towards a goal you chip away at it until it’s done. You organize, you motivate each other. It’s important. And you’re a part of that.”

You looked back over to him.

He looked away, “Right, well if we’re done with the preachin’ can I get back to class?”

“Sure.” you gestured and he hopped off the cot, heading to the door. Before he exited you noticed he looked over the strands once more.

And then the door slid shut behind him.

You leaned back in your chair with a sigh.

It was only  _ Tuesday _ .


	46. Call Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoshida and Okano’s confusion is entirely lifted from this video because it’s, to date, my favorite mispronunciation of a word.  
> Illustration to come!

Finals prep was stressful for everyone. Korosensei moved much of the study sessions outside, taking advantage of the cool shade of the trees. He claimed a change of scenery was good for the class, but you suspected it was because the schoolhouse felt like an oven lately.

You and Irina both had joined them outside for study sessions at various times. Both of you being tapped in for English and you being tapped in for certain health education questions that would be covered. All the while the octopus flickered between students. Today it was just you though. Irina and Karasuma had made their way down to the main campus for a meeting with Principal Asano. Karasuma had _suggested_ you stay here and from the _Look_ he was giving you, you could tell it was because he was concerned you’d start shit. While you were confident in your ability to grin and bear it in the man’s presence, you had to admit it was a relief that your presence wasn’t required.

“Why is English so hard?” Okano huffed, “Everything is backwards and there’s so many extra words.”

You chuckled, “Meanwhile, where I’m from Japanese is considered a hard language to learn.” you were tossing your tennis ball from hand to hand while correcting her occasionally.

“That’s bullshit!” Terasaka called over, “You use _way too many_ words for things!”

You laughed, “And you don’t identify who is talking!”

“We don’t need to! We have common sense!” Terasaka called back.

Yoshida snorted. He was camped out with you and Okano as well. They were objectively the worst in the topic and needed coaching. Korosensei was tutoring _all_ of them on _all_ topics, of course, but his focus was on enhancing the ones they were the most skilled at.

“How the hell do you pronounce something like this?” Yoshida leaned over, showing you his textbook.

“Vacuum cleaner.” you said, looking over at him.

He squinted, “...eh?”

“Vacuum cleaner.” you couldn’t help it, you laughed slightly.

“Fucking cleaner?” he was staring at you like you’d lost your mind.

“Wha- _No!_ ” you laughed, “ _Vacuum!_ ”

“Fack you?” he looked more lost and at this point, you were trying not to howl with laughter.

“Back you?” Okano looked over to the two of you.

It was too late for you, you died laughing, wiping tears from your eyes, “N-no! Oh god, it’s the Jelavich problem all over again.”

That seemed to cause a lightbulb to go off for both of them.

“Vac you.” they said together slowly.

You took a moment to catch your breath, “Close, very close. More of an mmm on the end and you’ve got it.”

This was a common issue for English and Japanese that you’d found out about really, really early. Certain sounds just weren’t used in either language so learning them was difficult on both sides. It didn’t help that the two languages specifically made to assist in this cross-learning, romaji and katakana, were not one to one. Both made for some _wild_ pronunciation errors.

Korosensei was giving pep talks alongside his usual lessons. You could overhear him speaking with Nagisa, “The basics, you’ve got down pat. No question there. And if your performance First Semester is anything to go on, I believe we can reasonably expect your scores to skyrocket.”

“So, what's the deal?” Nagisa asked, “Will it be like last time? Either we place in the top 50 or you pack it up and go?”

You glanced over, just slightly.

“Nope! With midterms I’ve come to realize my focus on rank was too shortsighted. Phooey to that. Far better that each of you have individual goals tailored to affect personal academic growth.” you smiled to yourself. Good. He meant it about staying. “Therefore, I’ve devised the perfect target: an objective customized to your needs as assassins!”

Suddenly all of his clones vanished and he was left standing before the students one of the standard-issue bb guns in his hand, “Now then. You’ll recall Shiro revealed to us that the loss of a tentacle results in diminished speed.” casually, he shot off his right hand. It fell to the ground, twitching before liquifying into the grass.

Christ, did he have to make his point so visceral? 

“One less appendage and already the integrity of my doppelgangers is compromised. Not that several of them have now become childhood versions of your truly.”

“‘Kay… seems logical.” Nagisa nodded.

You personally didn’t think so.

What the hell did speed have to do with the size of his clones?

“Lose another and presto!” he shot off one of his tentacle legs, you tried not to flinch, “Even more child-clones thrown into the mix! Along with fretful parent-clones struggling to make ends meet!”

You could argue that this took _more_ speed than his original set up. It required costume changes, props, whatever was happening with size changes…

“Now it’s getting a little sad.” Nagisa was watching the scene awkwardly.

“Lose another.” he punctuated this by shooting off another tentacle, “And the father-clone has walked out, leaving the poor beleaguered mother-clone to fend for her latchkey brood however she can.”

_What the fuck?_

Nagisa, meanwhile, seemed to go along with it, “Ugh. Brutal.”

“The main takeaway here, class, is that each tentacle destroyed represents a ten percent reduction in my agility. Which brings me to my proposition. Those of you who get the highest scores on your final, and or the best ranking in each individual subject, are vouch-safe the right to obliterate exactly one tentacle a piece!” his tone deepened, and he outstretched his arms dramatically, “This is how we do finals here, boys and girls. This is the Assassination Classroom! Ask yourself, are you prepared to inch ever closer to the _grand prize?_ ”

You would worry. You knew this.

But you couldn’t argue with the fact that the children seemed delighted with the prospect.

It was…

It was an odd balancing act you had here.

But you were happy you were making it work.

Lunch was, again, held outside. You’d finished your bento pretty quickly. It was too hot for anything heavy. You were laying back in the grass, tossing the tennis ball one-handed. You barely had to think about it these days, you just did it.

The kids were spread out eating and chatting. Irina with a cluster of the girls, Karasuma on the far side of the tree away from everyone, and Korosensei was sitting, again, against the tree near you. You’d had to threaten to stop bringing in snacks if he didn’t pause the finals review for five minutes to let everyone eat in peace.

You noticed he was a pale pink, head beginning to dip to his chest. He really must be wearing himself out...

“Hey,” you looked over to the octopus.

“Nue?” he looked down at you, abruptly flickering back to yellow.

“So, Ritsu was asking about swimming. I’d like to see if there’s a way to maybe set up a camera or something for her that Megu or the other kids could swim with. That way she could get a first-person shot of the action.”

He tipped his head, “I was considering something in a similar vein.” he chuckled, “I think some arrangements could be made for that. It might need to be after finals of course.”

“Yeah, figured.” you glanced at him sidelong, “Not running yourself ragged are you?”

There was a flash of pink, “Of course not!”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“I’ve been resting!”

“He’s had a double relaxing in a deck chair during prep,” Nagisa called over.

“ _That’s not resting!_ ” you glared at him.

“Told you!” Nagisa called over.

There was scattered laughter among the kids.

“It absolutely is resting!” he protested.

“What sort of example are you setting for your students if you’re not taking care of yourself?” you challenged, smirking up at him.

Ah yes. The trump card to end all trump cards. _The kids._

He looked like you’d force-fed him a lemon.

You gave a bright smile.

“But I can rest on the weekend-”

“No.” you pointed at him, “You’re going to get proper rest or I’m not bringing in snacks for the next week.”

“Jeez, you two sound like an old married couple.” Karma drawled, taking a bite of his sandwich.

You felt your face heat up. You missed the tennis ball catch. It hit you in the face.

“Karma! That’s inappropriate!” Korosensei shouted at him.

Nakamura leaned over, “Why? Professor Bitch is all over Karasuma and she was all over _you_ when she first got here. _That_ wasn’t inappropriate was it?”

Korosensei sputtered, “THAT WAS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT, THAT WAS AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT!”

You laughed, slapping a hand over your face and rubbing at the spot the tennis ball had struck, “God, you guys.” sitting up, you reached over, picking up the tennis ball, “We talked about this already… that’s not my priority right now.”

“Oh come on, you’re not even a _little_ interested in dating?” Nakamura was grinning evilly.

You tossed the tennis ball up again, catching it, letting the rhythm steady you, “I think that right now your finals are a bit more important.”

“You were just lecturing me on the importance of REST!” Korosensei protested.

You laughed.

Goddammit, he caught you.

“Yeaaaah, that sounds like you’re covering,” Okano smirked.

You looked around at the kids and your coworkers, “... fine, okay. Sure. Dating would be _nice_.” you tossed the ball up again, catching it, “But right now, I’ve got bigger things on my mind. And I get rest, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE!” you glared over at Korosensei, catching the ball without looking at it.

He waved his tentacles, going red, “I DO GET REST!”

“We’d rather have him tired anyway.” the voice was Karasuma’s, coming from the far side of the tree, “Better for the assassination attempts.”

“Yeah well, I’m here to look after _everyone_ in this class.” you flopped back in the grass, tossing the ball up and down at a faster rate, “And I think _everyone_ could use a break from time to time.”

You could feel eyes on you, you glanced over at Korosensei who immediately became very invested in a bun he was opening.

“You really are a worrywart, Mx. Reader.” Maehara chuckled.

“Have you seen what we’ve dealt with this year?” you tipped your head, looking at him. With your free hand, you began ticking things off, “Karma tried to throw himself off a cliff. You had midterms. We went to Kyoto, and Kayano and Kanzaki were kidnapped. We got two new students. One who is an AI and lives in my phone and another only shows up to try to kill the teacher--oh and BY THE WAY, he has tentacles. I’ve watched one coworker nearly get hung and then watched another break a man’s wrist. I’ve seen a kill-off between assassins. I watched Isogai and Karma nearly get their heads cracked in during a baseball game. Dealt with a crazy motherfucker from the Ministry of Defense--no offense, Karasuma--and _just this week someone blew up the pool and nearly killed you all_ . That’s not to mention the fact that I’ve watched a fellow teacher be shot at, poisoned, and have appendages removed. Oh, by the way. The WHOLE class, and the faculty, MINUS me, wants the teacher _dead_ . As a result, we as a class have run-ins with _professional_ assassins.”

You looked back to your tennis ball tossing, “I think my concerns are pretty valid.”

The kids were quiet for a moment or two before Karma smirked, “Well, gee, Doc, it’s not like anything killed us.”

“Yeah, we’re all okay!” Hinano laughed.

You looked over at them, “True, but remember, this is my job. I’m here to make sure you’re kept as safe and healthy as feasibly possible.”

“Well, yeah, but the octopus gets to us first most of the time.” Karma sat back a bit.

“True, but one day _he_ won’t be there. _None of us will be._ ” you sat up, looking over at him, “Korosensei already lectured about second blades. You need to be able to rely on yourselves, not just _us_.”

The kids looked among themselves.

“Mx. Reader is correct.” Korosensei nodded, “Our job is to prepare you for the life ahead of you.”

“That said,” you looked around at them, “You’re resourceful kids. Talented. I have faith that you’ll all do well in life and for the time that we’re together, you can rely on all of us to help you. But,” you sat up, “one day you’ll be standing on your own without that safety net. So train like there’s _no_ net below you. Develop the skills you’ll need whether you need them now or not.”

“Man, Mx. Reader, you’re almost as embarrassing as Korosensei is when he’s serious.” Nakamura chuckled.

“‘Ey!” you were surprised to hear Irina’s voice, she was looking up from her pudding cup, “Yeah, sure it might sound melodramatic but they’re both right. Connections and support are important but at the end of the day you have to be able to rely on yourself.”

You gestured to her, “See?”

“But, connections are _fun_.~” Irina smirked over at you, “The offer for dating tips is still open.” she suggestively licked the spoon in her hand.

You rolled your eyes, “Tell you what, you can give me dating tips when you land a date with Karasuma.”

“Not happening.” Karasuma’s voice came from the other side of the tree.

Irina practically pouted.

You chuckled and shook your head.

This classroom was ridiculous and dangerous and sometimes you wanted to strangle students and teachers alike…

But you genuinely loved this job.

After school, you hung back in the office. If you were throwing an impromptu nomikai this weekend, plans needed to be made. You were joined by Korosensei who was, predictably, ecstatic about the idea. Karasuma had pointedly refused to assist. Irina had said that she ‘didn’t plan parties, she attended them’.

“Okay, so, the izakaya I’m looking at isn’t too far out and not too bad price-wise.” you showed him the site, “I don’t know if we’re just going to do the izakaya or not...”

“I think that could best be decided the day of.” he leaned in, looking over the information, “Though I have to say the idea of karaoke sounds fantastic.”

You chuckled, “Yeah, can you imagine Karasuma singing?”

“It would certainly be interesting.” he chuckled, “Now… seating arrangements.”

“Uhhh… goes in order of- hm…” you paused, looking at him, “It’s supposed to go by work hierarchy but uh...”

“Mmm… I see your point. That does make it a bit… unusual given the circumstances.” he scratched his head.

“If you go by seniority… would we go by...” you thought about it, “I guess since it’s a teaching job we go by teaching seniority? But also this is a weird military project, so maybe we go by seniority there?” you looked it up on your phone, “...uh… it can also go by age. That might be safest?”

“Uh...” his expression was a bit… bizarre, something between a grimace and a smile.

“What?”

“Well, that also poses a bit of a conundrum...”

“...whyyyy?”

“Ah...” he scratched at his head again, “I’m not entirely certain of my age.”

“...what?” you stared at him. How on Earth?

“Suffice it to say, that particular method might not be ideal.”

“Noted.” you sighed, laying your head down on the desk, “ _Great._ ”

“I suggest that we go by military experience. After all, I am _technically_ under contract by them.” he chuckled, “So seating order would be-”

“Karasuma, You, Irina, me...” you nodded, “So basically… our current seating arrangement.”

“It would seem so.” he chuckled, “Now! Let’s take a look at the menu shall we?~”

It took a bit to get all of the arrangements made, reservations placed, etc. When you were finished, you were more than ready to head home.

“Nurufufufu~ What was that you were telling me about getting rest, Reader?” his grin deepened.

“Yeah, yeah.” you waved a hand, “I’m heading home.”

“Would you like a faster trip?”

You looked at him for a long moment, “You know what? Sure.”

You were scooped up and airborne momentarily.

“...So you really don’t know how old you are?” you glanced up at him.

He gave a small nod.

You considered that. There were some logical reasons you supposed that he might not know but-

“Detective face again, I see.”

You rolled your eyes and he chuckled. When you glanced up again you saw green stripes.

Of course.

You were shortly deposited on your balcony. You’d just taken to leaving it unlocked for the times this happened. Probably not the wisest idea but _who was going to break in?_ Mrs. Konda?

“Thanks,” you ran a hand back through your hair, “I don’t know how you do it. You get tired don’t you?”

“Of course!” he looked at you, “But _my_ stamina is much better than your average person. The benefits of my abilities.”

You narrowed your eyes slightly, “Yeah? Is that why you were nodding off during lunch?”

He flailed his tentacles in alarm, “You saw that?!”

“Yeah, and if _I_ did then the students will catch it too.” you crossed your arms, “You don’t want to be assassinated because you were sleepy, do you? Wouldn’t that be _embarrassing?_ ”

“My senses are far better than that, Reader!” he eyed you, “I would _notice_.”

“While you’re asleep?”

“Quite bold of you to assume I sleep like a human does.”

You stared at him, “What?”

“I’m well equipped for wakefulness, even when asleep.”

That didn’t answer a damn thing, but okay.

“You _sure_ about that?” you gave him a Look of your own. You’d noticed any decently long stare seemed to unnerve him.

There was a pause, “I… _suppose_ I can work in a bit more time to sleep.”

“Good. You can’t die before the 24th anyway.” you gave him a look.

He chuckled, his tone dropping into the genuine one you were so fond of, “Of _course_ not. I wouldn’t miss another trip to Hokkaido with you.”

“Then get sleep.”

He offered a tendril in a familiar gesture and you locked your pinky in what equated to one for him.

“I swear.” the hand withdrew and he grinned wider, green stripes across his face, “After tonight’s study session of course!” 

Then he bolted.

“HEY!” you leaned over the balcony glaring at the direction he’d shot off to.

Son of a _bitch._

You had an awkward call with your family back home in the evening. Updating them about the broad strokes of your life. Nothing about assassins or octopi etc. Just regular ol’ middle school classes.

Yes, you were eating enough.

Yes, you were sleeping.

Yes, everything was fine.

Love you. Goodnight.

That night you laid in your futon, staring at the ceiling… again.

You were getting really familiar with this ceiling.

Almost on _friendly_ terms.

_Ask yourself, are you prepared to inch ever closer to the grand prize?_

You wanted the kids to succeed on their finals but…

You sighed and reminded yourself…

Everything is temporary.

This whole situation, this year, this life?

Temporary.

_"I'm not dead yet and neither are you. Let's live life to the fullest! Remember: The wind is rising! We must try to live!”_

Your phone suddenly sprang to life, ringing.

...who was calling you at this hou-

**🐙🎓**

You answered, “Hey, it’s like…” you glanced at your clock, “midnight… ”

For a moment all you heard on the other end was breathing.

“You know if you’re trying to go for that whole creepy stalker thing, you’re doing a pretty good job.” you joked.

“I’m sorry! I-uh...”

“Can’t sleeeeeeep?~” you chuckled. Part of you was concerned, but another part of you was thrilled.

He was calling you now?

“I… wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Now that…

That tone was rare, indeed.

He was _worried_.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just layin’ here.” you tucked a hand behind your head, crossing one leg over the other, “Why?”

“...”

Suddenly, it occurred to you.

You’d had this conversation before.

“...did you have a nightmare?”

“Uh-well, that is I-” he sounded flustered.

You gave him a moment to collect himself.

“I do believe...” he chuckled but there was no humor in it, “Your-ah… dramatic listing of things that have happened this year might have...”

“Gotten to you?”

“Yes.” he sounded relieved that you understood.

“It’s all good. Everything is fine.” you chuckled, rolling onto your stomach and looking out at the crescent moon in the sky, “I mean… as fine as they can be with the world ending in March.”

There was silence on the line for a moment.

Fuck.

You probably shouldn’t have-

“Good.” you could hear his breath, slow and steady for a moment.

He needed a distraction, you weren’t sleeping, and you were happy to talk to him.

Might as well tell him a story.

“Hey, so, the other night you asked if I ever did anything embarrassing at an enkai.”

“Hm? Oh, yes, I did.”

“Okay, so, here’s what happened.” you could hear a slight chuckle from the other end, a good sign, “It was my first enkai. I did my homework, read up on etiquette and everything beforehand, had a coworker willing to answer questions and stuff. I was _ready_ . The night went great. Of course, everyone got drunk, things were ridiculous, karaoke happened at some point. The fuck-up came at the end. So, at these things you always have to bow to your bosses--I guess we’re going to have to bow to Karasuma… Anyway, you bow to your bosses at the end of the night, right? So, I bow and _proceed to throw up all over the principal’s shoes_.”

The laughter on the other end was delightful, “Oh, Reader, you _didn’t_.”

You laughed too, “ _I did_ . The poor guy didn’t know what to do. I don’t even remember much about it aside from saying _‘I’m so sorry’_ over and over again. I was surprised that I still had a _job_ the next day. Kind of a relief we’re not going to the one Principal Asano is attending.”

He was still chuckling, “I can only imagine how tense those parties must be.”

“Right?” you smirked, “I’d be a little worried if we went anyway. I might take a swing at him.”

“Reader!” his tone was full of shock, “Just what are you _like_ when you’re drunk? Should I be _concerned?!_ ”

You laughed, “I’m not that bad. A little louder, a little more excited, and a _lot_ more emotional. I’ve also been told I get really like… I dunno, like I start handing out compliments like crazy.”

“Oh dear.” you could _HEAR_ the green stripes, “I suppose I’ll need to bring my camera.”

“Just remember, octopus,” you warned, “I’ll have my phone.”

“Yes, but I can move at Mach 20, you can’t.”

“So, I’ll bring a pin-up magazine. That’ll distract you easily enough.”

“READER!”

“Maybe I can find one of that actress, what was her name again…? Haruko Tade?”

_“READER!!”_

“I mean I’m down to edit if your tentacles are quivering too much to wri-”

He screamed and you lost your mind laughing.

_“Why?!”_

“Do you still feel bad?”

You could almost hear him pouting, “...Touche.” 

Cute.

“Reader, I’m sorry for calling so-”

“No.”

“What?”

“Apology refused.” you chuckled.

“Why?!”

“Because you can call me anytime, you doofus.”

“...Thank you.”

“For what? Calling you a doofus? Because I mean I could tell the kids that’s your new nickname.”

You expected panic and ranting.

What you got instead was much quieter, “Reader… _thank you._ ”

_People who others depend on tend to carry their own burdens alone._

_Who could he depend on…_

“You’re welcome.” you couldn’t begin to quantify the overwhelming feeling in your heart at that, “Hey, now, you need to get some sleep!”

“You’re right.”

“Besides you’re gonna need your energy anyway?”

“Hm?”

“For the nomikai!”

He laughed a bit, “True. Goodnight.”

“See you tomorrow, love you, goodnight!”

You hung up the phone, yawning and laid it next to your futon.

You had just snuggled under the blanket when your brain caught up with your mouth.

Your eyes shot open.

_AUTOPILOT_

**_FUCK._ **

Slapping a hand out, you grabbed your phone. You had to explain your damn self.

[omg I’m so sorry m(. .)m I was on the phone with my family earlier and completely spaced.]

[~~Love you too.~~ ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿]

Attached was a picture of him with green stripes looking positively evil.

You screamed into your pillow.

The next day you arrived early and quietly. There was no way you would be able to avoid the octopus all day but maybe you coul-

You opened the door to the nurse’s office and ran face-first into robes. You shrieked.

“Nurufufufu~” he leaned down, looking at you, “I’m sorry, Reader were you coming in early to _see_ me or _avoid_ me?”

Your face was on FIRE.

“ _Shut up!_ I already explained what happened.” you put your things down in the office. 

He was chuckling, “You know there is a very interesting psychological concept known as a ‘Freudian slip’-”

“I know what a Freudian slip is!” you gave him a _Look_.

“Clearly Karma was right.”

“What?”

“We’re just like an old married couple-”

You threw your tennis ball at him. It bounced harmlessly into the hallway as he dashed away.

Son of a _bitch_.

Your embarrassment was, thankfully, pushed aside by bigger developments. Outside, during finals prep, Isogai dropped a bomb on the class. He explained that during a study session on the main campus, things had gotten heated with members of A Class resulting in a wager being made on finals.

A wager that involved whoever took the top slots getting to make a demand of the other class.

Which meant that the stakes had increased exponentially and therefore finals prep picked up speed.

You were still getting the occasional snicker from the octopus but everyone was far too busy to notice.

That Friday, the class settled on what they wanted, should they win the bet against A Class.

The school’s summer trip to Okinawa.

You had to give them credit.

If they could pull it off, that was _one hell of a prize_.

You were still more concerned about the other one though.

Even if you currently wanted to punch the stupid octopus’ teeth in.


	47. Cuddle Fish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all don't mind song fic because karaoke is absolutely happening. It’s probably going to be obnoxious but its fun and its karaoke. And it's a party.  
> Songs are linked in the fic as well.  
> [Korosensei's POV](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49214741)  
> [And a little Post-Chapter of him that is NSFW](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49214900).  
> [Irina's POV of the nightcap.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/51009529)  
> Illustrations to come.

****Saturday morning. You were sitting in the nurses’ office reviewing some of Irina’s English papers. With all the finals prep she could use the help with grading.

“Hey, Mx. Reader?” it was Nakamura, leaning on the doorframe, “Professor Bitch wanted me to ask if you were done grading the quizzes. She needs them soon for class.”

There was a tinge of humor in her voice but you hadn’t looked up to see why, you were trying to figure out how on Earth Kimura had garbled this particular sentence so badly, “Uh huh, almost done...”

“‘Kay, love you.”

“Love you too.”

Your brain caught up with your mouth and you slammed your pen down, looking at the door. She was gone and you heard laughter.

You were going to _kill_ the octopus.

A short while later, you deposited the papers on Irina’s desk, “Finished.”

“Thank _god_ .” she pulled them over, “I’m going to _need_ a drink tonight, Christ.”

“Yeah,” you ran your hands down your face, “Only a few more hours. We’ve got this.”

She nodded, “See you outside.”

You waved and went to your bag, pulling out a Kirin Fire coffee and knocking it back. You needed all the energy you could get for the next 48 hours at least. You weren’t one to rely exclusively on energy drinks or coffee but between planning a nomikai and finals prep you were starting to feel the fatigue setting in.

You headed outside and nearly ran into Karma.

“Oh hey, Doc.” he chuckled, “You look like hell.”

“Thanks, _I try_.” you snarked, taking another drink of your coffee.

“Relax, we’re going to do fine.” he smirked, “We have the octopus teaching us.”

Okay but that was the problem. If they did well…

“I know.” you yawned just a bit, “I’m just looking forward to sleep this weekend.”

“I hear that.” he headed towards the classroom, “Love ya, bye.”

“Love you to- FUCK!” 

GODDAMMIT.

You could hear Karma laughing, he leaned out of the classroom, “Hey Doc, ain’t that a little inappropriate?”

“Karma, I _swear to god_.”

“No need to swear to me, I’m right here.” he cracked.

You yelled in frustration and headed out to the study session.

The class was full of glances and giggles when you arrived. Jesus.

Korosensei was nowhere to be seen.

“Okay,” you sat next to Okano and Yoshida, talking loud enough for the whole class to hear, “I don’t know what the octopus told you but-”

“We _love_ you, Mx. Reader.~” it was Megu, laughing.

Okano took a little pity on you, “He said you said it without thinking in an after school planning session.” she laughed a bit, “You _must_ be tired.”

Yep. Tired. That was totally it.

You waved your coffee, “Yeah. Very.”

Wait… after school _planning_ session.

_Oh, so cover your OWN ass but out mine. Okay, Octopus._

Outing his ass as calling you over a nightmare would bring up way more questions from the kids though, and you were _not_ here for it today.

But…

You did have something else you could share.

“I see how it is. So, he told you about that, but didn’t talk about his Kyoto adventure huh?”

There was a rush of wind and a yelp as the octopus appeared, “READER, WE AGREED-”

“Yeah, well, should have thought of that beforehand,” you smirked at him and looked over to the class. Their interest was piqued now.

“So, _some_ of you guys were trying to peep on this guy in Kyoto.” you hiked a thumb at him.

“ _READER!_ ”

“Yeah?” Nakamura leaned in.

“Well, I ran into him afterwards.” you smirked at them, “He was naked in the gardens.”

“Whaaaaat?” Nakamura’s eyes were huge.

“You saw the octopus naked?” Irina looked over at you, taking a draw from her cigarette.

“Yeah.”

She blew out a puff of smoke, “ _Gross._ “

The class’s attention was turned to their teacher.

“I didn’t have any choice! I had to go back in and-”

“You were walking around NUDE in PUBLIC?” Yada stared at him, “ _Korosensei!_ ”

“It wasn’t like that! I was-”

“Okay, what did he look like though?” Nakamura leaned over, ganking Nagisa’s notes, the boy protested.

“No idea.” you sat back, “He used that camouflage trick from the train. But he was absolutely terrified of being seen.”

You gave a grin.

Game. Set. _Match_.

“Wow, who knew our teacher was such a freak?” Okajima laughed, “I mean more power to ya, it takes balls to do that.”

“Right?” Fuwa smirked, “I mean I guess we should have expected it, have you seen what he reads?”

Nagisa had yoinked his notes back from Nakamura and was writing something, “So, you didn’t see anything?”

“Yeah, nah. He was freaking out behind a tree pretty hard though.”

“But you… couldn’t see him?” Nakamura had the same reaction you did.

“I told him that.” you laughed, “But how was it you said?” you smirked up at him, “ _It’s the principle of the thing, Mx Reader!_ ”

You had heard a lot of rants from the octopus in your time in this class, but this one became increasingly more incoherent until he was just sitting under the tree, face in his hands.

“This is so mortifying.”

You _almost_ felt sorry for him.

_Almost._

It took awhile to get things back on track and when Karma came back outside the whole thing was derailed yet again as the kids gleefully shared this new information.

You hadn’t even made it to the nomikai yet and it _already_ felt like a party.

You changed in the bathrooms after school. It was still business casual as usual but you definitely wanted fresh clothes for this. Buttoning up, you covered the tank top you’d picked out. It might be a work party, but these people were a lot more relaxed. You were confident no one was going to care if you got tired of a collar.

You made your way to the faculty lounge and picked up your bag.

Irina leaned in the doorway twirling her car keys, and you noticed she had a small Anti-Sensei blade attached to them. Seriously? 

“Hey, you ready?”

“Yeah. Karasuma coming with?”

“Nah, he’s meeting us there. Stuffed shirt wanted to go home first.” she stepped into full view.

“Uh… damn, Irina.” she was dressed to the nines, as revealing as ever but _far_ more casual than you expected.

“What?”

“Uh… well I mean… this is still a work function.” you paused, looking at her awkwardly.

“So?” she shrugged, “We’re going to be drinking with an octopus.”

“True...”

“Let’s get this shit on the road. The sooner I get alcohol in my system, the better.”

When you arrived, Korosensei was already there, waiting for- oh my god what was he wearing?

At least he fit the dress code you guessed. He looked the part of a salaryman… if a salary man were a giant octopus stuffed in a suit. Next to him was a very, very irritated looking Karasuma in his standard work clothes.

You gave a wave.

“I see you made it in one piece,” he said to you, glancing at Irina.

She huffed, “I drove on the wrong side _once_.” she waved a hand dismissively.

Karasuma didn’t look convinced.

The lot of you headed inside and, after arrangements were made, you were guided to a private room with four seats around a low table. You took the seat by the door and Irina sat across from you.

The two of you looked at Karasuma and Korosensei, both of whom seemed a bit awkward. Korosensei sat next to you and Karasuma paused, realization crossing his face.

Oh my god.

You bit your lip.

He hadn’t thought he’d be put in the highest-ranking seat, had he?

He took his seat, a slight level of confusion on his face.

Orders were taken, drinks delivered, and Karasuma paused, awkwardly looking around at all of you.

“Before we get started, let me say that this is not how I expected to spend my weekend.” his voice was its usual calm, “But I appreciate the inclusion.”

He lifted his glass and the rest of you joined him, clinking them together.

“Kanpai!”

And thus began the party.

It started off so calmly, really. 

“So, do you really think the kids are going to pull it off?” Irina asked, taking another drink.

“Oh, I do believe they will.” green stripes decorated Korosensei’s face, “They’re much better prepared this round.”

“It’s a two-day test, yeah? That’s going to be nerve wracking...” you were picking at your salad, one of the many dishes brought out in the mixed bag of a spread before you. Salad, fries, shrimp, sashimi, chicken, edamame… It was… something. All of it was good, of course.

“I wouldn’t worry about them too much.” Karasuma said, looking over at you, “It seems like the Principal is staying out of the situation this time.”

“Of course, given the escalation by A Class the other day,” Korosensei’s eyes narrowed, “He might change his mind.”

“Yeah, I don’t believe that man for a minute.” Irina took another drink, “I think he’s going to pull something.”

Irina’s glass was half empty. Perfect. Time to put your plan in action.

While you hadn’t heard details there had been some whispers of an assassination attempt planned for the nomikai. But… really? It was a party.

So, you made a game plan. Enkai tradition dictated that you never poured for yourself, only for others. You just had to keep Karasuma and Irina’s glasses topped up all night. Should be easy enough… you hoped. In order to stay on top of that, you just needed to nurse your drink all night, make it last ages and make sure to eat. 

The fuller your cup stayed the less it got filled. A lesson you’d learned quick at your first enkai.

“Thanks,” she smirked.

“So, Reader told me a delightful story the other day.” Korosensei lifted his cup to his lips and then chuckled, “About their first enkai.”

_Mind reading son of a bitch._

“Yeah?” Irina raised an eyebrow at you, “Spill.”

“Apparently they threw up on the principal’s shoes at the end.”

Karasuma made a face and took another drink, “Hope that doesn’t happen tonight.”

“The principal isn’t even here,” Irina said, looking over at him.

You laughed, “No, but Karasuma is.”

Irina looked around the table for a minute, “Yeah, and?”

“They put me in the seat reserved for the person in charge,” he said idly, taking another drink.

“Wait, there’s assigned seating at these things?” she rolled her eyes, “Lame.”

You laughed and looked over at Karasuma, “You didn’t think we’d put you in charge? You’re in the military.”

“...” he looked at you and then to the octopus, “It was unexpected.”

He downed another drink and you reached over, topping up his cup.

Irina was smirking, she nudged Karasuma, “They think you’re the boss.~”

He pointedly ignored her.

“It was a bit of a puzzler, after all, we’re not a standard classroom.” Korosensei chuckled, working his way through a selection of sashimi.

You nodded, taking a drink, “First time planning one of these. Been to a few though, so I had an idea of things...”

“Does it get any more interesting because right now it’s kind of just dinner.” Irina waved a fry with one hand before munching on it.

“Well yeah,” you laughed, “I mean if you’re up for a nijikai.”

“A what?”

“Afterparty.” Karasuma was already looking troubled.

“I was thinking we could go to karaoke afterward.” Korosensei suggested, he was ecstatic, “No love ballads, of course!” he followed up as Irina opened her mouth.

She gave him a look, taking another drink.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Karasuma looked around the table, “The more we’re out the higher the chances of him being spotted.”

You topped up their drinks, taking a sip of your own, you must be working through this thing slower than you thought… it was damn near full still, “Who is going to see him in a karaoke booth?”

Karasuma made a bit of a face, choosing to take a drink instead of answering.

“See?” Irina chuckled at him, “I mean come on, we’ll have him in a confined space!”

“Nurufufufu~” Korosensei’s green stripes were out in force, “Exactly, how could you pass up that chance, Karasuma?”

Karasuma sighed, “Fine. We can go to karaoke.”

The three of you cheered, laughing.

You took a sip of your drink, pausing to fill up the others.

This was going _perfectly_.

Dinner wore on and Irina and Karasuma got progressively tipsier. It was far more apparent in Irina than Karasuma but you could certainly see the beginnings of it in his face. He looked more relaxed than you’d ever seen him.

So… it _wasn’t_ just resting bitch face then. The man really was just that uptight…

You filled his drink again.

Throughout you’d been snapping selfies of the group. A couple you tastefully cropped to not have the octopus in them. You needed something to send home to your family after all.

Plenty of them were ridiculous, mostly because of the octopus whipping out props and slapping things like cat ear headbands on Irina.

Irina ripped off the headband, throwing it at the octopus who caught it effortlessly. 

"I don't get you." She leaned across the table, sizing you up, "You can party but like… why do you dress so conservative at school?"

You laughed, "I just wear the dress code?"

"The dress code is stupid and who cares? We're not the main campus anyway." she waved a hand.

"It's still better to abide by it." Karasuma was trying to be stern, but his heart wasn’t in it.

"Though I have it good authority the last teacher of E Class didn't," Korosensei said bringing his drink to his lips.

"See?" Irina smirked, "You got a lot you could wooooork with. You should dress better."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or insulted." you raised an eyebrow.

"’M taking you shopping. We're gonna get you new clothes."

You laughed, "I'm afraid of what you might pick out."

"I know what I'm doing," she snapped, "Who the fuck do you think dresses half of the world ambassadors? Their mistresses, _that's who_."

You laughed harder, "Sure. Okay."

She looked pleased, pulling out a cigarette.

You were glad you’d picked out a location that allowed smoking.

Karasuma loosened his tie, sitting back, “So, if the children win this Okinawa trip, we’ll be going with them, of course.”

“Of course,” Korosensei chuckled, “They will need supervision.”

Karasuma sighed.

“Oh, come on! You can’t really be pissed about the idea of a beach vacation can you?” Irina looked over at him like he was crazy, “It’s literally a beach vacation!”

And just like that his resting bitch face was back.

You sipped your drink, watching them.

“It’s a change of scenery. The ideal thing would be to research the location and make plans for killing him.” he gave a nod to Korosensei.

“Man, you’re tighter than a nun’s asshole.” you chuckled.

Everyone was looking at you…

Oh god, you said that _out loud_.

Irina and Korosensei fell into cackles. Karasuma didn’t look pleased. Your face was burning.

“Sorry, I uh...”

Karasuma waved a hand, “I’m just focused on the mission. If I seem uptight, it means I’m doing my job.”

God bless drunken forgiveness…

…

You looked at your drink.

It was still full.

Wait a minute…

You looked at Korosensei next to you. He followed your eyes as they flicked to your cup and back to him, green stripes crossing his face.

This motherfucker had been keeping _your_ glass full all night.

“Man!” you were louder than you expected but, well, that was going to happen now wasn’t it? _Fuck._ “You must have one _hell_ of an alcohol tolerance, Korosensei.”

Karasuma’s eyes narrowed just a bit.

“One could say that.” Korosensei chuckled.

“Hold on, I missed something, what?” Irina looked at you.

“They think the octopus is immune to alcohol.” Karasuma was looking at you.

“Nurufufufu~ Oh I assure you I am absolutely not immune.” Korosensei’s grin sharpened.

Irina narrowed her eyes, “Then you’re not-” she abruptly reached over, snagging his drink and sipping it, “Okay, no that definitely is beer.”

He took it from her, amused.

“You know.” you looked over at him, “That’s kind of lame. This _is_ a party.”

“Yeah!” Irina was irritated, “You just want us to get shitfaced so you can make fun of us for it.”

“Oh, not at all!” he chuckled, “I _fully intend_ to drink tonight.”

“Which means you haven’t yet.” Karasuma countered.

The green stripes vanished as all eyes focused on him.

“That’s not what I meant, I-”

“You’ve been cheating!” you laughed, triumphant at having figured it out, “You’re _pretending_ to drink!”

He looked like he’d swallowed a lemon.

“Oh my _god!_ ” Irina glared at him, “You asshole!”

At that moment the owner stopped in to let you know that it was near time to wrap things up. 

You stood up and immediately put a hand out to touch the doorframe. Oof, you hadn’t stood up since you started. No wonder you hadn’t noticed how tipsy you’d gotten.

Karasuma was so irritated by the revelation that the octopus hadn’t been drinking that he completely skipped closing niceties.

“So!” Korosensei clapped his hands together as you exited, “Karaoke?”

“I’m not going,” Irina said bluntly.

_“Why not?!”_

“Because if you’re not drinking then there’s no point.” she poked him in the chest with her finger.

“And if I swear to drink when we get there?”

Irina narrowed her eyes, sizing him up.

“Might as well,” Karasuma said, “Look at his face, he’s not going to drop this unless we go.”

“Fine! Whatever!”

You laughed, “Nijikai it is then!”

Your motley crew of teachers made their way to the nearest karaoke place. Despite being tipsy and irritated, you were amazed at how well Irina and Karasuma could pass as sober people. Irina had seemed far more drunk in the izakaya.

“Here we are.~” Korosensei lead the way into the karaoke place.

The poor dude behind the counter looked so confused by your group but checked you all into a booth. A round of drinks was ordered.

“You have to drink before _anyone_ sings.” Irina pointed at the octopus, “That’s the deal.”

“I can certainly do that.” he chuckled.

“So, who wants to sing first?” you scrolled through the songs on the controls.

“I will. But only if the octopus drinks.” Irina nodded.

You laughed, “Okay, okay. I think we get it.”

When the drinks arrived all attention went directly to Korosensei.

“A cassis and orange? _Really?_ ” Irina was giving him a look as his order arrived.

“They’re delicious!” he protested.

Irina rolled her eyes, “That’s like a college girl’s drink or something.”

“How do you know that, but you don’t know about driving on the correct side of the road?” Karasuma stared at her.

“Drinks are important in my line of work! That’s how!” she snapped.

You took your own drink, umeshu soda. You figured you could work through it slowly.

“Okay, go on!” Irina looked at Korosensei, “Drink!”

He lifted the drink to his mouth and-

“Come on! You have to do more than lick it-” Irina was cut off immediately as your… unconventional coworker’s face went pink and uh…

Was he melting?

What?

“Dude, are you okay?” you stared at him.

“Yesh, I’m fiiiiiine...” he waved a hand idly. At some point, his tie had ended up around his head.

Karasuma and Irina looked just as lost as you were.

“There is NO way you are drunk after that!” Irina glared at him.

He looked at her, tears in his eyes and voice slurred, “Miss Irina! That’s so _mean!_ ”

Oh… god?

Was he actually drunk?

You started laughing, absolutely losing your shit. You were worried, yeah, sure, but what the fuck was even going on?

There was a flash of movement and you looked up, Karasuma had made a move and…

Korosensei had _dodged_.

Karasuma glared, trying his hand again. Irina joined in and that was how you ended up sipping your drink and watching two assassins try and fail to kill a drunk octopus.

This was your life now.

You snapped a few photos, amused.

“How the HELL?!” Irina threw her knife at the wall in anger which it bounced off harmlessly, “He’s SHITFACED, how the FUCK is he dodging?!”

Karasuma collapsed onto the sofa, loosening his tie, beads of sweat standing out on his brow, “Search me.”

“Iriiiiiiina,” A tentacled hand wriggled at her, “You said you’d sing if I drank!”

Irina sat back, arms crossed.

“I mean… he did drink...” you said with a small shrug, sipping your drink. The umeshu was really damn good…

Irina and Karasuma both gave you a glare. Karasuma threw back his drink and went to the phone, ordering a second round.

He sounded put out.

“Fucking _fine_ ,” Irina grumbled, picking up the controller and flicking through the song options.

“Yaaaay!~”

You almost snorted your drink up your nose at the ridiculous quiet cheer coming from the octopus, his face on the table, tentacles waving idly.

Aaaaand saving that photo for posterity. You smirked at your phone.

Business-like, Irina selected her song and stood up, picking up the mic.

Karasuma collapsed back onto the sofa.

The screen displayed the song: [ Hit and Run by LOLO ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5NyA9sbbbRbjBeoJqFw1th?si=SpX8INPMTI6BKkcAfKu1bg)

The music started up and you found yourself staring. Irina had a natural way of commanding attention when she wanted to. Her head was dropped down, solemn as she started,

_“They never saw us coming_

_'Til they hit the floor_

_They just kept beggin’ for_

_More, more~”_

She popped her head up with the most genuinely unsettling smile you’d ever seen her give,

_“Na na na na na na na_

_All dressed up for a hit and run_

_Na na na na na na na_

_All dressed up for a hit and run~”_

She sidled over to the sofa, perching on the arm of it and crossing her legs dramatically,

_“I was brought up as a southern belle_

_I grew into the queen of hell”_

She looked over her shoulder at Karasuma, eyes narrowed,

_“You were just a little stowaway_

_That stabbed her way to save herself”_

She leaned over to him, getting close to his face, one finger coming to rest at his temple in a mocking gun motion,

_“You always liked the taste of blood_

_And I get off when I point the gun”_

She patted his cheek, straightening back up for a moment,

_“It's so good to have someone to be so bad with”_

His expression didn’t change in the slightest. You were beginning to wonder if he wasn’t also an AI… but no, _Ritsu_ had more expression. You chuckled at the thought.

_“First one up was a preacher's son_

_Last one down was an Englishman”_

Reaching down, she tugged Karasuma’s tie loose, whipping it out from around his neck. He watched, expression still uncaring.

_“I'm in bed with his bow tie on_

_All dressed up for a hit and run”_

She strolled back across the room, twirling the tie idly. You found yourself nodding and tapping your foot to the music.

_“Na na na na na na na_

_All dressed up for a hit and run_

_Na na na na na na na_

_All dressed up for a hit and run”_

She turned on Korosensei, leaning across the table, cleavage front and center. With a smirk, she pointed her finger at him, mimicking a gunshot,

_“Sunday in Notting Hill_

_He was sneaking a cigarette_

_His God protects him but_

_I know we'll get him dead”_

She reached out, looping Karasuma’s tie around his neck and pulling him forward,

_“Ran my fingers through his hair_

_So he thinks it's fun and games-”_

She swung a knife at him, and he laughed, dodging. She huffed, now holding a dangling tie,

_“He don't know our faces but_

_He'll never forget our names”_

She straightened, tossing her hair,

_“First one up was a preacher's son_

_Last one down was an Englishman_

_I'm in bed with his bow tie on_

_All dressed up for a hit and run”_

She threw the tie to Karasuma,

_“Na na na na na na na_

_All dressed up for a hit and run_

_Na na na na na na na_

_All dressed up for a hit and run”_

Next, she rounded on you, smirking. She perched on the arm of the sofa next to you, fawning on you like she normally did Karasuma. Her fingers carded through your hair,

_“I was waiting in the getaway car_

_You were stuck in the hotel bar_

_He was a proper Englishman_

_He had one last pint before the cops broke in”_

She turned your head towards her.

_“You poured the gasoline and_

_I drove into the flames”_

She trailed a finger under your chin, tipping your face up towards her. Suddenly you could understand exactly why seduction was her game. Shit man, you had a thing for the octopus but _you_ were half in love with her right now.

What was Karasuma made of? _Steel?_

She turned, flicking her hand away. 

_“History will hate us_

_But they'll never forget our names”_

Hopping up she strolled back over in front of the screen,

_“They never saw us coming_

_'Til they hit the floor_

_They just kept beggin’ for_

_More, more_

_They never saw us coming_

_'Til they hit the floor_

_They just kept beggin’ for_

_More, more”_

She looked at the rest of you, waving a hand for you to join in. You started clapping in time to the song. Korosensei enthusiastically joined in. Karasuma didn’t but you noticed one of his knees bobbing in time to the music.

Ha.

_“First one up was a preacher's son_

_Last one down was an Englishman_

_I'm in bed with his bow tie on_

_All dressed up for a hit and run_

_Na na na na na na na_

_All dressed up for a hit and run_

_Na na na na na na na_

_All dressed up for a hit and run”_

She vocalized along with the song, as much as she’d been reluctant to do this she really seemed to be having fun.

_“All dressed up_

_All dressed up for a hit and run”_

She smirked at Karasuma and pantomimed shooting a gun again, that unsettling smile back on her face,

_“All dressed up for a hit and run”_

Korosensei broke into claps and cheers the second she was done. You were laughing, “Holy shit, Irina!”

She flashed you a cocky smile, “What? Men like women who can sing.”

“That was fantastic!” Korosensei’s grin was, somehow, even more ridiculous than usual, “Assassination and performance. How exciting~”

She rolled her eyes at his praise.

You noticed a phone clutched in one of Korosensei’s tentacles…

Had he been _recording?_

Oh, you had to ask about _that_ later.

“You’re pretty good.” Karasuma agreed, tone not changing in the slightest.

Irina looked at him like he’d just said her pussy was made of gold.

Wait…

What?

You looked at your drink…

Barely a swallow left. 

Fuck it, it was a party.

You downed it.

There was a tap at the door and Karasuma rose, squeezing past Irina to answer it. He accepted the drinks with a slight bow, thanking the worker before setting them down on the table.

You sat your empty glass down. Karasuma passed fresh drinks around… minus the octopus as he still had a full Cassis and Orange in front of him.

“So,” you took a sip of your new drink, “Who’s next?”

You didn’t even see the octopus move. He was just suddenly-oh no.

He was in drag. It was scarily close to the kind of things Irina wore.

_Great._

You took another drink because you could tell you were going to need it.

Karasuma and Irina did the same.

It didn’t do a _damn thing_ to prepare any of you.

The screen flickered up with random videos, the song displaying over it.

Oh no…

[ #SELFIE ](https://open.spotify.com/track/1HOlb9rdNOmy9b1Fakicjo?si=ld3xfy61Sj2_wtwqW_sRqA)

Christ.

The music started up and suddenly he was sitting next to Irina, gesturing in an exaggerated manner to Karasuma and you as if he was talking about you both,

_“When Jason was at the table_

_I kept on seeing him look at me while he was with that other girl”_

He leaned in and asking her, 

_“Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous?_

_Because he was totally texting me all night last night~”_

He cast a glance at Karasuma,

_“And I don't know if it's a booty call or not_

_So... like what do you think?_

_Did you think that girl was pretty?”_

Karasuma’s head dropped back on the sofa with a groan. Irina looked like she would rather be literally anywhere else. You were dying of laughter.

And suddenly he was beside Karasuma, leaning on his shoulder. Karasuma didn’t look up. The octopus gestured to Irina,

_“How did that girl even get in here?_

_Do you see her?_

_She's so short and that dress is so tacky~_

_Who wears Cheetah?”_

Karasuma sighed and sat up, taking another long drink. Korosensei looked around the room, feigning confusion,

_“It's not even summer, why does the DJ keep on playing "Summertime Sadness"?”_

Then he was next to Irina, leaning on her shoulder,

_“After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette?_

_I really need one”_

_But first,”_

He grabbed her around the shoulders, struck a pose and snapped a photo,

_“Let me take a selfie!”_

The next twenty seconds was rapid fire camera flashes. You weren’t even able to keep track of him as he popped around the room, sometimes the camera was flashing in your face, other times it was across the room.

You rubbed at your eyes and when you looked up, he was sandwiched between Karasuma and Irina with his phone up,

_“Can you guys help me pick a filter?_

_I don't know if I should go with XX Pro or Valencia_

_I wanna look tan”_

He turned to Irina,

_“What should my caption be?_

_I want it to be clever_

_How about "Livin' with my bitches, hash tag LIVE"_

_I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes_

_Do you think I should take it down?”_

He pulled them both in for another picture, neither of them looked pleased,

_“Let me take another selfie~”_

More rapid fire camera flashes. Karasuma dropped his head back on the sofa again. In the middle of all of this, you took another long drink because this was jus-

Suddenly he was next to you, leaning in,

_“Wait, pause, Jason just liked my selfie_

_What a creep”_

You choked on your drink. He pointed over at Karasuma and Irina,

_“Is that guy sleeping over there?_

_Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on?_

_That's so ratchet”_

You snorted and felt alcohol burning your nose, “Christ!”

His grin only grew, he gestured offhand to Irina, 

_“That girl is such a fake model_

_She definitely bought all her Instagram followers_

_Who goes out on Mondays?”_

He was across the room again, leaning on Irina,

_“OK, let's go take some shots”_

He looked ill for a half a second,

_“Oh no, ugh I feel like I'm gonna throw up_ ”

Irina immediately tried to get out of the way but he laughed and waved a tentacle,

_“Oh wait, nevermind I'm fine~”_

He was back to you, pulling you to your feet-

Uh?!

_“Let's go dance”_

He gave you spin.

Oh my god?

Then you were left standing there with your drink, and he was next to Karasuma again,

_“There's no vodka at this table_

_Do you know anyone else here?”_

Then back to Irina, perched on the arm of the sofa, gesturing to Karasuma,

_“Oh my God, Jason just texted me_

_Should I go home with him?”_

His grin deepened,

_“I guess I took a good selfie”_

You moved to sit back down and suddenly were pulled into…

Wait, when did you end up sitting with Karasuma and Irina?

Flashing lights and tentacles for the next few seconds. You were losing your shit at this point. God, what was even happening? You were going to be blind by the end of the night.

When you and your coworkers were released, you caught glimpses of the octopus, through your spotted vision zipping around the room and striking various poses, snapping photos.

_“Let me take a selfie.”_

You made your way back over to your seat and downed your drink.

You needed it after that.

The music rounded out. Irina and Karasuma were dead silent. You were still laughing.

“That was fucking _great_.” you rubbed at your eyes, “But I’m definitely going blind now.”

“Nurufufufu~” he was sitting next to you, back in his salaryman outfit.

“What the HELL was that?”Irina glared at him.

“#SELFIE by the Chainsmokers, _duh_.” you smirked over at her.

Karasuma silently got up and went to the phone, “Alright, I think food would be a good idea.” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What does everyone want?”

You took a look at the menu on the table, "I've always liked takoyaki."

You took a sip-

"So you like octopus balls?" Irina cackled as you choked on your drink.

Korosensei stared over at Irina in alarm.

You looked over at him, “Would that be cannibalism?”

Irina cackled and he began to protest.

Another thought occured to you right after.

Did he even have those?

Did _octopi_ even have those?

“Let’s get a party platter, it’s got everything,” Irina suggested, pointing to the menu.

“Oooo! And some of these swiss rolls!” Korosensei pitched in.

Karasuma looked like every tired father you had ever seen in public with rowdy kids. You noticed he’d tucked his tie back under his collar but it was just hanging loose.

When he placed the order you heard him request another round of drinks.

Poor dude.

You were still recovering from laughing, wiping tears out of your eyes.

“So, who’s next?” Korosensei looked around the room.

Irina was knocking back what was left of her drink. Karasuma made his way back over, sinking back into the sofa.

“I could always go again!” he said, brightly.

“NO!” Irina and Karasuma shouted in unison and you lost it all over again.

He was laughing too, green stripes on his face, “Nurufufufu~”

When you managed to catch your breath you looked over at Karasuma, “Why don’t you sing something?”

“Pass.”

“Oh, come on!” you shouted.

“It’s a party!” Irina looked at him like he was crazy, “Like look, that whole thing was terrible-” The octopus tried to interject, but she just talked over him, “But we might as well try to enjoy ourselves, right?” she leaned in, smirking, taking the ends of his tie in her hands and pulling them forward gently, “Do it for me?~”

For a half a second you could have sworn you saw… what was that look he just gave her?

“If I don’t, you’re going to hound me for the rest of the night, aren’t you?”

She gave him a grin.

“Fine.” he batted her hands away from his tie and took the controller, scrolling through.

“In the meantime,” Korosensei produced a pack of playing cards from… somewhere. “We could play some games. I imagine it will take Karasuma a few moments to decide on something.”

“What the hell,” Irina leaned forward, “We’ve got food coming anyway.”

You took another drink and nodded, “What are we playing?”

“Blackjack.” Irina spoke up, “‘S easy enough drunk.”

The next several minutes consisted of Karasuma scrolling the song list while you played cards with an assassin and an octopus.

Man this year was _wild_.

Irina had won her third round in a row and Korosensei was accusing her of cheating when there was a knock at the door.

Karasuma retrieved the orders and you helped him set them on the table while Irina cleared the cards away.

“Figured anything out yet?” you asked Karasuma, popping a fry into your mouth.

He huffed, taking a drink.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“You know, we could pick out a song for you.” Irina grinned at him.

“Oh, we COULD!” Korosensei was delighted.

Karasuma looked at both of them like they were particularly dangerous vipers, “No if I’m going to embarrass myself, _I’m_ picking the music.”

“You never even got into the party mood!” Korosensei tapped his own head where his tie still dangled, “You should join the party.”

“Yeah, god stop being such a tightass Karasuma.” Irina smirked, “You might have one but that doesn’t mean you have to _be_ one.”

You could see his eye twitch. He looked to you and you knew at that moment he was looking for a Voice of Reason. 

Hoo boy, this was NOT the night to ask that of you.

You flashed him a smile, “It’s fun, come on.”

Defeated, he sighed, pulling his tie out of his collar, “Aw, what the hell...”

He tied it around his head and the three of you burst into cheers.

You speared a takoyaki, blowing on it lightly before taking a bite. After all the alcohol, your body was in need of food.

Karasuma sighed, “Let me get this over with...” he slammed back the remainder of his drink and got up, selecting a song on the controller.

The three of you watched with interest, snacking. What was he going to-

You burst out laughing as the title came up on the screen: [ Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen ](https://open.spotify.com/track/3lrNq7iGL5r3KS93YiKAbC)

Karasuma stood rather stiffly with the microphone, paying more attention to the screen than the rest of you.

_“Tonight_

_I'm gonna have myself a real good time~_

_I feel alive_

_And the world, I'll turn it inside out_

_Yeah!_

_I'm floating around_

_In ecstasy”_

You grinned over at Irina and she grinned back. You had a feeling you both had the same idea.

_“So…”_

You and Irina jumped in on the backup,

_“Don't stop me now, don't stop me”_

You saw the barest hint of a smile on Karasuma’s face at that right before he tossed his head back, belting out the next bit. 

_“'Cause I'm having a good time, having a good time!”_

You cackled, clapping. He waved a hand, illustrating the next line,

_“I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky_

_Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity~_

_I'm a racing car passing by_

_Like Lady Godiva_

_I'm gonna go go go_

_There's no stopping me”_

He was… Karasuma was dancing.

It wasn’t particularly good dancing… but it was definitely dancing.

You’d fucking seen everything.

You were so glad you’d planned this fuckin’ party.

You took another drink.

_“I'm burning through the sky_

_Yeah!_

_Two hundred degrees_

_That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit_

_I'm traveling at the speed of light_

_I wanna make a supersonic man out of you!”_

You heard a tambourine and looked over to see Korosensei keeping in time with one.

Where-

Nevermind. 

You and Irina were chipping in on the ‘don’t stop me nows and laughing.

_“Don't stop me now!”_

This was possibly the happiest you’d seen Karasuma. You’d barely ever seen the man smile.

_“I'm having such a good time_

_I'm having a ball”_

You and Irina had started keeping time with claps as well.

_“Don't stop me now!”_

He pointed to Irina with a smirk,

_“If you wanna have a good time_

_Just give me a call”_

Oh my god???

Irina shut up and you started laughing so hard you couldn’t do back up. Korosensei took over… for worse or better,

_“Don't stop me now”_

He looked over at Korosensei who pointed at him in return,

_“'Cause I'm having a good time”_

_“Don't stop me now”_

_“Yes I'm having a good time_

_I don't want to stop at all, yeah!”_

You could not BREATHE. Irina was in the same situation. Karasuma pointed skyward,

_“I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars_

_On a collision course_

_I am a satellite_

_I'm out of control”_

He pumped his fist in time to the music.

_I am a sex machine ready to reload_

_Like an atom bomb about to-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh explode”_

MAN, that alcohol had kicked right the fuck in. 

_“I'm burning through the sky_

_Yeah!_

_Two hundred degrees_

_That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit_

_I'm traveling at the speed of light”_

He pointed to Irina,

_“I wanna make a supersonic woman of you”_

Finally getting yourself together, you managed to get back in on the backup vocals with Korosensei. Irina was crying from laughing so hard, singing along,

_“Don't stop me_

_Don't stop me_

_Don't stop me_

_Hey hey hey!”_

He popped open the buttons on his shirtfront,

_“Don't stop me_

_Don't stop me_

_Ooh ooh ooh_

_I like it”_

He belted into the mic,

_“Don't stop me_

_Don't stop me_

_Have a good time, good time”_

_Don't stop me_

_Don't stop me”_

You clapped your hands over your mouth and, in a sudden flash, knew you had to get a picture.

Karasuma doing air guitar was something you NEVER wanted to forget.

_“Ooh I'm burning through the sky_

_Yeah!_

_Two hundred degrees_

_That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit_

_I'm traveling at the speed of light_

_I wanna make a supersonic man out of you”_

He was bopping back and forth to the music,

_“Don't stop me now_

_I'm having such a good time_

_I'm having a ball_

_Don't stop me now_

_If you wanna have a good time_

_Alright_

_Just give me a call”_

_Don't stop me now_

_'Cause I'm having a good time_

_Don't stop me now_

_Yes, I'm having a good time”_

He stilled, holding out the final notes,

_“I don't wanna stop at all”_

He vocalized with the end of the song until it faded into silence.

The three of you burst into cheers, clapping.

“KARASUMA!” you cackled, “I can’t believe it! You were having _fun!_ ”

“Don’t think too much of it. It’s the alcohol,” he said, his expression back to normal. 

But you could hear a lightness to his tone.

He had _totally_ had fun.

“Okay, you’re up.” he tossed you the microphone and you caught it almost fumbling it to the floor.

“Uh-”

Irina pushed the controller over to you with an evil grin.

Even the octopus was looking at you with green stripes.

Eh, fuck it. You scrolled through your options, sipping your drink. There were a ton of great selections to choose from, shit…

Then you spotted one and laughed. You remembered that text from Korosensei asking if you’d danced naked in your apartment.

Well, this _was_ the song you’d enjoyed for that.

[ Cake By The Ocean by DNCE ](https://open.spotify.com/track/76hfruVvmfQbw0eYn1nmeC)

Queuing up your choice, you stumbled to your feet, grabbing the mic.

The music started up and you were already tapping your foot to the beat.

Oh _hell yeah_.

_"Nah, nah"_

You gave a dramatic turn to your amused coworkers,

_"Oh, no~"_

You pretended to size them up,

_"See you walking 'round like it's a funeral"_

Giving a grin at Irina you pulled her to her feet

_"Not so serious, girl, why those feet cold?"_

You looked her up and down and she seemed to catch your drift, leaning on you like you were the next man she was going to murder. You walked your fingers up her shoulder with a smirk. She slid away with a shimmy.

_"We just getting started, don't you tiptoe_

_Tiptoe~_

_Ah!"_

With a grin, she joined you on the next lines,

_"Waste time with a masterpiece_

_Don't waste time with a masterpiece"_

The two of you danced around one another, it wasn't unlike the few times you'd been to clubs, lots of ridiculous grinding and suggestive moves. Exaggerated with the both of you tipsy.

_"You should be rolling with me_

_You should be rolling with me, ah~"_

She tossed her hair back and you gestured to her, presenting her to your co-workers as she dipped to the floor and slinked back up,

_"You're a real-life fantasy_

_You're a real-life fantasy"_

She smirked over at you and reached up, popping the button on her jacket suggestively. She began to shed her jacket slowly. You wondered if she'd ever worked as a stripper before or been undercover as one. 

That wasn't a weird thing to think about your coworker yeah??

She snatched the mic from you-

_"But you're moving so carefully_

_Let's start living dangerously"_

She gave a tug on your overshirt and you laughed.

Sure, why the fuck not?

_"Talk to me, baby_

_I'm going blind from this sweet-sweet craving_

_Whoa-oh"_

As she sang you slowly unbuttoned, slinking out of your own overshirt to reveal the tank top underneath. 

You twirled the overshirt overhead and tossed it before taking her hand, pulling her close,

_"Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy_

_Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean"_

You twirled her out away from you with a laugh,

_"Walk for me, baby~_

_I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi, whoa-oh"_

You advanced on her, leaning forward, she leaned back until her head was almost in Karasuma's lap.

_"Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy_

_Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean"_

You smirked up at him, it was the first time you'd seen _that_ expression. 

_"Goddamn~"_

You stepped back, pulling her upright. 

_"See you licking frosting from your own hands"_

She crooked a finger at you and dropped to your knees

_"Want another taste, I'm begging, yes ma'am~"_

She came over, laughing and pulled your to your feet

_"I'm tired of all this candy on the dry land_

_Dry land, oh"_

She swiped the mic, taking over while you danced. You weren't as good as she was but it was fun and you were drunk and who fucking cared? Karasuma had done _air guitar_ for fuck's sake.

_"Waste time with a masterpiece_

_Don't waste time with a masterpiece"_

You slammed your hands on the table in the middle of the room shimmying while you sang, eyes locked onto your very, very pink octopus coworker.

_"You should be rolling with me_

_You should be rolling with me, ah~"_

You popped up back to your feet

_"You're a real-life fantasy_

_You're a real-life fantasy"_

You felt hands around your waist and glanced behind you, Irina was sliding her hands over your torso seductively,

_"But you're moving so carefully_

_Let's start living dangerously, whoah~"_

You smirked back at her and she spun you away from her. You laughed and almost fell into the table. You felt tentacles push you upright, you glanced back at him and gave a wink.

_"Talk to me, baby"_

He looked like he was having a meltdown.

_"I'm going blind from this sweet craving_

_Whoa-oh~"_

Irina caught you and took the lead suddenly, dipping you.

_"Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy"_

She pulled you back up with a laugh

_"Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean"_

Throwing an arm around her you both began to bounce to the music, the guys began clapping to the tune,

_"Walk for me, baby_

_I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi, whoa-oh~_

_Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy”_

She whipped her hair around in a circle and you laughed,

_“Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping_

_We'll eat cake by the ocean_

_Ooh, aah~”_

You laughed, nearly falling over as she bumped her hip into yours,

_“Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping_

_We'll eat cake by the ocean_

_Ooh, aah~_

_Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping_

_We'll eat cake by the ocean_

_Ooh, aah~”_

You smirked at her on the next line,

_“You're fucking delicious”_

She laughed,

_“Talk to me, girl_

_Talk to me, baby_

_I'm going blind from this sweet-sweet craving_

_Whoa-oh~”_

You turned, dancing with her,

_“Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy_

_Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping_

_We'll eat cake by the ocean”_

You spun her, by this point both of you were definitely Not Sober which made the whole motion more complicated than it should have been,

_“Walk for me, baby_

_I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi, whoa-oh~_

_Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy”_

You were both laughing so hard you could barely sing.

_“Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping_

_We'll eat cake by the ocean”_

The two of you danced together, rounding out the song,

_“Red velvet, vanilla, chocolate in my life_

_Confetti, I'm ready, I need it every night_

_Red velvet, vanilla,_

_Chocolate in my life_

_Ah ya ya ya ya_

_I keep on hoping_

_We'll eat cake by the ocean!”_

Abruptly, she pulled you into a kiss. 

Oh?

_Okay._

When you parted you both were laughing.

"Reader, if you ever wanna get into a job like mine you should kill people in karaoke places." She slurred, "because you're a fuckin’ riot."

Then you both looked at your co-workers and went absolutely hysterical. They both sat there, wide eyed for a long moment before bursting into cheers.

You collapsed on the couch next to Korosensei, Karasuma had taken the karaoke tablet and was scrolling through options.

You found yourself leaning a bit on the octopus. You looked up at him. Your overshirt had apparently landed on his head, he reached up slowly removing it.

“I believe this belongs to you.” he offered it to you and you accepted it with a nod.

He paused, looking at the tank top you were wearing. You sat back, stretching it to be easier to read. It was one that cracked you up.

DANGER. HANDS OFF. DO NOT OPERATE UNTIL THIS TAG IS REMOVED BY:

There were blank spaces for signatures and IMPORTANT stamped over it.

It always made you think of those dumb mattress tags.

He chuckled, shaking his head.

He was bright pink.

Probably because of Irina.

You grinned.

_Cute._

More drinks came (along with some non-alcoholic ones for the octopus, one drink was doing him the whole night), more songs were sung and awhile later you were all sitting around, taking a break. You had posted a few choice images on social media and found some you didn’t remember taking. The shirtless Karasuma and the one of Irina practically giving him a lap dance made you hysterical.

“So, wanna do another round of Blackjack?” you looked over at Irina, “I don’t know what else to sing.”

Her eyes suddenly lit up.

"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on, I know what we need to do..." Irina slurred, picking up the cards from the table, she selected one and held it up, "We’re gonna play Suck and Blow."

Korosensei choked on his drink and Karasuma raised an eyebrow.

"What?" You looked over at her, curious.

"You gotta pass the card using your mouth." She held it up to her lips, "You know… you suck in air to keep it close to your mouth like this"

She sucked in, keeping the card to her mouth with air only, turning to the side to showcase what she meant.

"Oh wait is this is that one gam- " you were cut off by her leaning over, pressing the card to your lips with hers. You sucked in, holding it in place and gave her a look. She laughed. You leaned over to Korosensei and pressed the card to his mouth. He went bright pink. God, you were so close… you could see his eyes widen a touch as he accepted it.

_Fuckin’ adorable._

But when he leaned over to Karasuma…

"I don't think so."

"Oh come on Karasuma!" Irina huffed.

"Yeah man, it's not like you're actually kissing anyone." You laughed, "Come on!"

Korosensei let out a breath, holding the card up, "It's a party!" 

Karasuma caved and you lost your mind laughing as he took the card from Korosensei. Thankfully you had some presence of mind and managed to snap a photo. He turned to Irina and she leaned in to take the card.

A flash of tentacle and the card disappeared at a critical moment. You and Korosensei howled with laughter as your co-workers shared a surprise kiss.

"Hey!" Karasuma said but Irina pulled him back in, kissing him again. You covered your mouth, stifling your laughter. Karasuma seemed to give up on his protest halfway though. You laughed so hard you fell over on the couch across Korosensei's lap. Looking up at him you grinned.

He chuckled, "You're _drunk_ , Reader "

"Uh huh!" You giggled, unable to help it.

You stared up at him. He was so cute. So fucking stupid and fun and…

You reached up, touching his cheek.

He blushed harder than before 

That was so cute…

The phone rang.

"I'll get it!" You hopped up and went to the phone, answering it.

"Time's up guys!"

Karasuma and Irina pulled away from each other, both looking a little dazed. Korosensei was neon pink and trying to arrange his suit a bit.

You looked at the group.

"Sanjikai?"

"Uh?" Irina tipped her head.

"SANJIKAI!" Karasuma cheered.

"I know just the place!" Korosensei popped up and the lot of you stumbled out into the hall.

You settled your tab with many apologies to the workers and the lot of you headed outside. Karasuma buttoned his shirt, you had your overshirt tossed over one shoulder, he and Korosensei still sported tie headbands.

“Man, this is the best.” you laughed, “You guys are the best.”

“Well, yeah, but I mean what? You don’t have friends you like better?” Irina smirked, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Uh...” you paused, “Not really?”

"How do you not have any friends?" Irina stared at you.

"I have friends!" You protested, "They’re just online or back home. I don't get out a lot here."

" _How long_ have you been here?" Karasuma raised an eyebrow

"Like uh…" you felt self-conscious suddenly, "three or four years?"

"How do you not get out a lot for three or four years?" Irina stared at you.

You shrugged just a bit.

Everyone was looking at you.

"I guess I uh… choose not to go out a lot."

"No wonder you don't have friends! You gotta socialize!" Irina gestured.

You chewed on your lip a bit, "...It's hard."

"S not that hard you just talk to people." She shrugged.

Talk to people.

Talk to people. Get close. Get left behind.

You swallowed, feeling the warmth of tears in your eyes.

Shit…

"Hey! Heeeey you don't gotta cry. _We're_ your friends!" Irina leaned on you.

You felt a tentacle touch your shoulder.

"I just… I don’t know, everyone leaves." You wiped at your face, "And ‘m always left picking up the pieces…"

It was quiet for a moment and suddenly Irina hugged you, "So? Fuck em. Take those pieces an’ make somethin’ better."

You accepted the hug. You smelled alcohol and Jasmine.

Then you felt a weight settle on your shoulders. It was Korosensei draping himself over them. You laughed a bit at his grin.

And _another_ weight.

You were being sandwiched by _all_ of your co-workers. Karasuma was patting your head.

If it wasn't for how emotional you felt you might have laughed but something about the whole thing just made you sob. Your chest was tight with a mixture of past pain and current joy.

You loved this job.

You loved your class.

You loved your co-workers.

But this joy had a time limit.

You scrubbed at your face. You had to make the most out of _every minute_ of it.

"Okay, ‘kay.” you squirmed, “Let’s go... uh... Where ‘re we going?”

“Oh, a little pub I know.~” Korosensei chuckled.

"Wait, wait, that's a claw machine! We gotta do it." Irina pointed.

And that’s how the four of you lost a good chunk of change trying to win some… plush… mascot nonsense. You weren’t even sure what it _was_.

In the end, it was Karasuma who dealt the killing blow.

Irina was clutching the plush with a grin.

That was probably the cutest you’d ever seen her.

Korosensei lead the way and suddenly your stomach churned…

Ohhh boy.

“Uh… hang on guys...”

They looked back at you. You had a hand on a wall.

As the first wave hit you, a bag was thrust in front of your face, your hands placed around it. God bless whoeve-

The octopus.

_Of course._

Your stomach surged again and you coughed a bit.

Fuck. You had cried _and_ thrown up in front of your coworkers.

One of whom you had a thing for.

Who was now fretfully patting your back.

This _definitely_ topped the principal's shoes.

“I uh… I think ‘m gonna have to sit out the sanjikai guys. Sorry…”

Korosensei shook his head, “You’re ill, it's perfectly reasonable.”

He looked over to Karasuma and Irina, “What do you two plan to-”

Before Karasuma could say anything, Irina spoke up, “Nightcap.” she looked over at him with a challenge.

Karasuma sighed, “I guess we’re going for a nightcap.”

“Alright, I’ll see Reader home then.” Korosensei looked down at you, “Is that alright?”

You looked up at them all, eyes watering from the force of retching. You opened your mouth to speak and ended up burying your face in the bag again, resorting to a thumbs up.

What a fucking night.

When your stomach seemed to have finally ceased, you were wrapped up (When had he changed? You had no idea. You were exhausted and not entirely sober.) And carried home.

Thankfully _not_ at Mach 20.

The second you landed on the balcony you felt your stomach churn and ran for the bathroom where your stomach conjured up _more_ contents from somewhere. 

Oh god… 

_Gross…._

Your body felt _so wiped_. You coughed a bit and used the sink to rinse your mouth. You used mouthwash, coughing a bit and then brushed your teeth…

Then did mouthwash once more for good measure.

There was a voice at the door, "Reader… Are you alright?" 

You spat in the sink and wiped your mouth.

"Threw’up." You slurred. 

“I thought you might want these...”

A hand snaked in, offering you clothes.

Oh yeah. That’d be good.

Had changing clothes always been so complicated and exhausting? You weren’t sure. You straightened, looking at yourself in your mirror.

You burst out laughing at the shirt he’d handed you.

In huge letters: FIGHT PEACEFUL

Yep, that was you.

You opened the door. He looked so concerned. 

Cute, concerned octopus.

You hugged him, burying your face in his front. He smelled so good.

"Let's get you to bed…"

That sounded so nice…

"You should go to bed too." You tugged on his arm, "Sleep with me. We can be cuddle buddles-" a thought occurred to you and you gasped, "Oh my god! You're a _cuddle fish!_ "

He went pink.

"Eyyyy, I know that face. You're embarrassed. You don't have to be embarrassed but it is really cute…"

He chuckled, "Come on…"

He lead you to your futon where you laid down, then he turned to leave. 

Aw…

"You're not gonna stay?"

He looked back, wide eyed. 

"I wanna cuddle fish." You held out your arms to him.

He came over and laid down next to you. You rolled to face him, hugging him as tight as you could.

"You are going to hate this _so much_ in the morning," he whispered, amused.

"No, ‘m gonna love it cause you're comfy." You protested, “‘N I like seeing your smile…"

He chuckled.

You peeked up at him, "I like your laugh too, s’nice…"

"I enjoy yours too." 

He liked your laugh???

Oh man, you could almost cry.

_"Oh my god???_ _Thank you!_ "

He laughed, "And _you_ , are _adorable_."

You felt... So happy. Like beyond happy.

The happiest you'd ever been.

"Reader…"

"Yea?"

There was a long moment of silence.

Man, he was taking a long time to respond. He must be as drunk as you were. You reached up and patted his cheek with a hand.

"’Ey, you know you're really great and 'm glad I took this job.’ S the best job. You're the best. Even if your gonna blow up the Earth. You're still the best. An' not many people can say that y'know?" You were leaning against him, beginning to nod off, "’N you always smell nice too..."

There was a gentle chuckle. You felt a hand brush your hair back and lips press lightly to your forehead as sleep finally overtook you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editors note: With all the errors, my wife was probably drunk writing this.


	48. Two Truths and a Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!  
> Reminder, there’s an 18+ Assassination Classroom server I have up. So if you’re 18+ and want to hang out with other fans you can check it out [here](https://discord.gg/PGZf3eb).

You squinted into the sun and whined, burying your face in the pillow next to you.

There was a chuckle and the shade was drawn.

Thank God.

You weren’t quite awake enough to feel like hell but could tell that if you actually woke up, it would be bad.

So, nah, you nuzzled back into the pillow.

A hand ran over your hair as you faded back out.

When you woke up next you cracked your eyes open to see a…

You squinted. 

That was a moon.

A moon stitched into a tie…

Which was around the neck of a familiar yellow grinning face.

He was looking down at you and your arms were firmly around his chest.

_Oh god??_

"Sleep well?"

You froze, brain trying to catch up to how you ended up here. 

He seemed to anticipate your concern, "I brought you home. You were ill."

You were still staring at him.

He seemed unnerved by the stare, "Then you asked me to sleep in here with you."

It was coming back in bits and pieces.

You buried your face in his front, screaming.

He laughed, patting your back gently, "It's _alright_ , Reader."

"I am _so_ sorry." You sat up rubbing at your face. A sudden wave of pain rushed through your head and you collapsed back on the futon, " _Ohhhh_ that was a _mistake_."

"I imagine you might need these ." he sat up and passed you a water bottle and a couple of painkillers.

"Oh god _fucking_ bless you." You took them eagerly, chugging the water bottle.

He laughed, "Breakfast?"

You felt ill at the thought, "...I should but I can’t guarantee it’s going to stay down."

"Something light then."

"Must be nice to be immune." you glowered at him.

He rose, "There are clothes and such in the bath for you.”

"Dude, you don't have to-"

"Nonsense." He pressed a finger to your lips, "I'm immune, so why not?"

You sighed as he left the room.

God…

What a shit show.

You rubbed your face. He’d been in your bed.

You’d been fucking cuddling him.

_Christ._

Could this day get-

WAIT-

You reached over picking up your phone.

Oh…

_Ohhhhh god. Your social media._

Oh god, your _gallery?_

Oh _fuck._

You sat up against your better judgment and scrolled through your feed, making a face.

You with your mouth stuffed with takoyaki, captioned: “I like octopus balls.”

Fucking **CHRIST.**

You were almost afraid to scroll further if that was the FIRST image.

You eventually did, though.

It was pure unadulterated cringe-inducing drunken nonsense.

A video of you and Irina singing along with something Hatsune Miku related. _Badly._

That… that was a selfie of you… what angle was that? Ohhhh god, that was from the Octopus’ lap. WHAT?!

You closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose.

There were _more_.

A selfie with the octopus hanging on your shoulders, Karasuma’s arm around Irina. All of you were squeezed into frame and laughing.

Christ.

Karasuma’s smile was _horrifying_. No wonder he didn’t use it often.

Some… very _suggestive_ selfies with Irina.

Was that Irina with a plushie? Oh, wait that’s right… the claw machine...

A video clip of Karasuma uh… dad dancing… pretty much.

Air guitar Karasuma.

A selfie with a very, very done looking Karasuma.

Ohhhh that was Karasuma and Korosensei with the cards during Suck and Blow...

Oh god… Karasuma was going to _KILL_ you.

You rubbed your face and looked over the posts, okay so like…if not a lot of people had seen them, you could just delete them. It was fine...

And then you opened your text messages.

F U C K.

Drunk texts. Drunk texts _everywhere_.

Your family.

Online friends.

_Students._

You had sent… pictures… to _Ritsu_.

You deleted what you had up on social media. 

You left up the photos from earlier in the night, images from the izakaya before everything went batshit.

Then you shot Ritsu a message:

[Hey so I’m so sorry I sent you a bunch of weird stuff last night. I was drunk. You can delete the images.]

You rubbed at your face, at least most of the texts were things like:

[hEY did u kno UR gREst?]

And

[omg ilu]

And…

That was a bunch of octopus emojis.

You flung your phone away from you.

You were going to _scream_.

Carefully, you stood up, making your way to the shower and _not_ looking at the octopus occupying your kitchen.

Between the painkillers and the shower, you were starting to wake the fuck up. You stared hard at the wall, thinking.

Had you said anything?

Done anything?

You remembered Irina kissing you and being… very close to him… 

You didn’t _think_ you had said anything…

Or done anything...

You were sure you’d find out the second you left the shower.

There was no _way_ the octopus would let you live this down.

You camped out in the shower for far longer than necessary, putting off the inevitable.

Eventually, when the water started to get cold, you shut it off and dried off, getting dressed. Sheepishly, you peeked out into the hall.

_Time to rip off this band-aid._

You made your way to the little table you had near the kitchen. He was already there. Across from him was a mug of green tea, miso soup, and a bottle of Pocari Sweat.

You sat down.

It was way too quiet. He was never this quiet. Fuck. What did you-

You looked up and saw green stripes.

_Shit._

"Last night certainly was _interesting~_ " he chuckled

“Hey, uh, look if I said or did anything weird last night...”

He reached out, patting your head gently, “I’m quite certain we all said strange things last night, Reader. Alcohol has a tendency to do that.”

You felt your face burning, “Yeah… true.”

“Though I have to say that is the first time I’ve ever been called a Cuddle Fish.”

And with that statement, you suddenly remembered.

You covered your face with a groan.

“Nurufufufu~” his green stripes were out in force. 

“Oh my god! I am _so_ sorry, thathadtobesoweirdshit-”

He laughed, “Reader, it’s _fine!_ It was a lovely little sleepover.” there was a pause, “That being said… there was something you mentioned that I wanted to address.”

Shit. Your heart skipped a beat.

His grin was in place but his tone said this was serious.

“Yeah?”

“You mentioned people leaving you....”

O-Oh…

You felt a lump in your throat, remembering your spontaneous crying the night before.

You swallowed, looking down, “Yeah...”

“I can’t promise that I will be here. I wish that I could.” he spoke softly, “But I hope that I can leave you with good memories.”

You laughed just slightly, “You’ve been doing a hell of a lot of that.” you paused and looked up at him, “You got that much faith in them, huh?”

“Nue?”

“You’re assuming they’ll kill you and I’ll still be alive.”

He was quiet for a moment and you felt like maybe he was going to say something but thought better of it.

“Well, they are _our_ students.”

You smiled.

“Now,” he tapped the table, “Eat. You need to recover.”

“You’re telling me.” you rubbed your face, “I’m still not quite a person yet.”

He laughed at that.

“So, what are your plans for the day? Interested in a trip?”

You looked at him like he was crazy, “I’m not leaving this apartment today. Given some of the shit I posted last night I might never leave this apartment again.”

“Nurufufufu...” his grin widened, “Oh but you _have_ to, we have a trip coming up.”

You looked at him.

That’s right. Tomita farm was next weekend. 

Haaaaa oh god how were you going to survive this?

You turned your attention to your food. “Okay, maybe I’ll make an exception for that… if Karasuma doesn’t kill me.”

“Nurufufufu… you certainly did post some _amusing_ moments from last night.”

“Yeah uh… I might have sent some to Ritsu too.”

The octopus went pale.

“YOU DID WHAT?!” 

You winced at the volume and gestured for him to bring it down, “Hey, could we not make my head feel like it’s in a vice more than it is?”

“I’m so sorry but-” he leaned across the table, whispering in a panic, _“You did what?!”_

“Yeah so uh… some of the kids probably saw things.”

_“Whataretheygoingtothinkofus?!”_ he seemed absolutely panicked at this point.

Goddammit. It was an actual problem you were dealing with, but that was _fucking adorable_.

“I told Ritsu to delete the files, but she has uh… free will so...”

“Oh dear.” he buried his face in his hands.

“Yeaaaah...”

“I don’t think I’ll ever leave your apartment again,” he muttered into his hands.

You laughed, “Well… we go back tomorrow but if you want to hide out here today, I’m okay with that.”

Pink flickered across his features and he peeked up at you through his hands.

...Oh. That was cute.

That…

The way he was looking at you…

For half a moment you thought-

“So!” he said suddenly, “What should we do today then?”

“Huh? Oh uh...” you thought about that, “Well… could always watch more movies. Or see if there’s some game shows on. Order in and just… avoid the phones...”

He looked torn. Probably between responsibility and the urge to hide if you had to guess. You turned your attention to your food.

That had probably been a stupid suggestion…

“Let’s do that.” he agreed, his voice sounded resolved.

You looked up at him, “Yeah?”

He gave a nod, “Though I may have a bit of work to do here...”

“Finals prep?”

He chuckled, “Of course.”

You nodded, “Sounds like a plan.”

And that’s how you ended up on one end of the couch with take out, him at the other end organizing more test prep and eating in between.

“Okay so… ,” you looked up from your take out, thinking, “I have a game.”

He glanced over, “Hm?”

“Well, we did True or False. What about Two Truths and a Lie?” you gave him a smile.

Yeah, this was totally just for notes, uh-huh. That’s what you were going to keep telling yourself.

“Yes!” he perked up, “We should.”

“Okay, I’ll start.” you tipped your head back, considering, “I’m amazing at Taiko Drum Master. I once had someone throw up in my lap. I used to collect bouncy balls.”

He squinted, looking at you, “Third one is a lie.”

You shook your head with a grin, “Nah. I’m shit at Taiko Drum Master.”

“...why bouncy balls?”

You shrugged, “Cheap and fun. Should have kept it up because I used to toss them around like that tennis ball Karasuma gave me. I’d probably have better hand-eye coordination if I did.”

He chuckled, “Alright… I bet on horse racing. I have two top scores at three different Tokyo arcades. I like the taste of glass.”

You laughed, “Uh... ” you thought it over, he was extra enough for top scores. Horse racing was… maybe? And that last one? Well, you had seen him eat a mug before…

“Horse racing.” you gave a nod.

He chuckled, his face flashing a purple X, “Incorrect.”

“What?” you laughed, “I figured you’d be a little more responsible or like… I dunno be able to figure out the outcome or something.”

He chuckled, “I’m clever but I’m not omnipotent. I’m also not fond of the taste of glass. It’s rather lackluster.”

You laughed, “It’s GLASS, of course it is!”

“You would be surprised, some items aren’t terrible.”

“Okay, okay, my turn.” you tapped your chopsticks against your lower lip, thinking, “I almost got married. I once got a 911 call because a kid got a marble stuck up his nose. I’ve walked into the wrong building for a work interview.”

He considered this for a moment, “You almost got married.”

“Nah, that’s true.” you took another bite of your food, “Was young and dumb and engaged for a hot minute. Not the best idea.”

“Really?”

You nodded, “My buddy got the 911 call.”

“Oh dear… so you did an interview in a wrong building?”

“First month here.” you gave him a sarcastic smile, “I wanted to die.”

He laughed, “Well then… My house is immaculate. I don’t know my name. I have to eat rocks.”

“Oh come on.” you chuckled, “It’s the second one.”

He went purple, an X crossing his face.

“What?” you looked at him, confused.

“I don’t know my birth name,” he said simply.

There were… there were some heavy implications in that statement…

“My house is actually… quite a mess.” he flickered pink, sounding embarrassed.

You laughed, “I mean you saw my place that week I was sick. I think that’s just a thing for teachers. I’ve not known many that were organized outside of school… Wait, you have to eat rocks?”

“My body has unique dietary requirements. Rocks, glass, synthetic items, all help support certain aspects of my anatomy.”

“And the sugar?”

“Also needed… I like it much better though, flavor-wise.”

“...SO THAT’S WHY YOU WERE EATING A MUG!”

He laughed, “Yes.”

You shook your head, “Okay, but like… why not just coat the rocks in sugar or something?”

“I’ve tried. The flavor isn’t improved.”

You laughed, “Okay then. Now,” you sat up more, “My turn.” You set your food over on the side table, “I think your name in my phone is cute. I think Karasuma is hot. I think the shipping chart you made of the kids isn’t right.”

He looked at you for a long moment, “Karasuma.”

You laughed, “Yeah. I mean I guess but like, he’s not my type.”

“Is that soooo?~”

You rolled your eyes, “Yes, it is.”

He paused, “Wait a minute! What do you mean my shipping chart isn’t right?!”

You grinned, “I have my own suspicions on who might be dating who is all. Your turn.”

He huffed, “I can tell the people in our classroom and their emotional states by scent. I am a mind reader. I have been kept in a cage.”

“Smell.” you gave a nod.

He flashed a purple X across his face.

“So you can… what, tell when people are upset or happy?” you asked.

Oh god…

Did that mean he had ideas of…

“Not quite as good as mind reading but certainly an advantage.” he chuckled, “It also leads many to think I can read minds. I can’t unfortunately.”

“You can tell the class apart by _smell?_ ” you stared at him, still processing that.

He laughed, “Yes.”

“...would it be weird if I asked what I smell like?”

He laughed harder, a flicker of pink crossing his cheeks, “Delightful is what you smell like.”

You rolled your eyes, “Oh come on.”

“Well, there’s your soaps and hair products of course. Then the detergent of your clothes. There’s always a trace of chocolate or sugar.” he considered this, “Spice… a bit fall-like I suppose. Warm. But that changes of course based on feelings.”

You felt your face heat up, “Oh.”

There were green stripes on his face.

Oh god…

Did he _know?_

“Of course, those scents aren’t always universal. I often have to spend a bit of time with a person to know their particular ranges.” he laughed, “As I said, not _as good_ as mind reading. You can stop panicking.”

You made a face, “Hey!”

He laughed.

“I guess the military kept you in a cage...”

“No.” he looked at you, “They can’t seem to keep hold of me long enough.”

“Then...”

He stared at you, green stripes on his face.

“You’re not going to tell me if I ask.”

“You will have to unlock my _tragic backstory_ , Reader.” he chuckled.

No name, kept in a cage, and no idea how old he was…

You were starting to get the idea that him hamming up the tragic aspect might be his way of covering up that it actually had been.

“Okay, so.” you needed to get this game back on track, “I spent my first two years here mostly eating convenience store food. This is the first time I’ve woken up in bed with someone after getting drunk. I go commando most of the time.”

He sputtered at the last one, “Reader!”

You laughed, “Well, which one?”

Narrowing his eyes he looked hard at you for a moment, “...convenience store food.”

“Nah, that’s true. I don’t go commando.”

He covered his face.

You smirked, “Guess there’s some things you can’t tell by smell.”

“READER!”

You cackled at his embarrassment.

He huffed and thought for a moment, “I’m not Japanese. I believe I’m somewhere between 29 and 35 years of age. I was originally a woman.”

You stared at him.

All of those were feasible you supposed.

You tipped your head back, thinking, “Okay this one is harder...”

He chuckled.

You recalled in Kyoto he’d said that public bathing wasn’t normal where he was from. So, probably not Japanese. You’d never really thought much of it, but that was interesting. You knew he didn’t know his age. It would make sense that he might have narrowed it down…

But he also dressed in drag an awful lot…

You shook your head, “Three?”

His face flashed a red circle, “Very good, Reader! Why did you have any doubts about my gender?” he chuckled.

“You dress in drag and seem to enjoy it.” you laughed a bit.

He shrugged a bit, “Guilty. After all, in this form I think gender is rather beside the point in some ways.”

“But you go on about how _manly_ your hobbies are to the kids,” you smirked.

He huffed at that and you laughed.

“Hey, you know, I’m actually awake this time. We could watch another movie.”

He chuckled, “Is this you trying to get out of your next turn?”

“Maybe.” you shrugged, “It also just sounds nice.”

He gave a nod, “It does.”

“Okay, so live-action or animated…?”

You spent the latter half of the afternoon watching movies together and discussing test prep on occasion. As evening approached he sighed, “I suppose I should head home.”

You gave a nod, “Yeah… we both gotta be ready for tomorrow.”

The look you shared was of two people facing impending doom. You walked him to the door. It was a tight squeeze in your entryway but as he moved to leave you reached out, touching his arm, “Hey.”

He turned to you.

“Thanks… for last night. And thanks for hiding out with me today. It was fun.”

He chuckled, “Of course. Anytime.”

Should you do it?

Fuck it.

Why not?

You stepped forward and hugged him tightly for a second. Tentacles wrapped around you.

When you pulled away you sighed, “I figured I should probably do that now just in case they kill both of us tomorrow.”

“Right...” he gave a grim nod, “It’s going to be an interesting Monday.”

“Til tomorrow then.”

“Til tomorrow.”

He headed down the hall and you shut the door, leaning against it and burying your face in your hands for several minutes.

Okay…

Okay, you had learned a lot of things and you needed to write them down.

And check your phone…

Oh, you were dreading that.

Taking a breath you headed to your bedroom, retrieving your phone from where you’d tossed it this morning.

Ohhhhh boy, that was a lot of messages.

Maybe just… don’t check the phone? You could just not check the phone right?

Right?

Irina had texted you a lot about how much fun she’d had last night, followed by her asking if you were dead.

You shot her a message about spending the day recovering. It wasn’t a lie after all.

Karasuma had politely and formally asked you to take down the photos you’d posted of him. There was a response thanking you after.

That was… he was awfully calm about that.

You didn’t trust it.

You shot him an apology and reminded yourself to apologize in person tomorrow.

Oh…

Ohhhhh no….

_Ritsu had added you to a group chat._

It was called 3-E Talk

Oh god.

**Taiga Okajima:** OKAY SO I NEED COPIES OF THOSE PHOTOS OF PROFESSOR BITCH.

**Kaede Kayano:** Stop being such a creep!

**Hinano Kurahashi:** Um, I wouldn’t mind that one of Mister Karasuma shirtless.

**Rio Nakamura:** Same.

**Kōki Mimura:** Air guitar Karasuma is best Karasuma.

**Karma Akabane:** Man, Doc, you really fucked up huh?

**Kaede Kayano:** They’re not responding, maybe they’re asleep?

**Masayoshi Kimura:** I mean they’re probably hung over, right?

**Manami Okuda:** If they’re not then I have questions about what they were drinking.

**Tōka Yada:** Maybe Mister Karasuma has already killed them.

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** They’ve been silent on all social media since the deletions this morning.

**Ritsu:** The last message I received was at 10:13 AM requesting the deletion of the photos from the night before.

**Yuzuki Fuwa:** Maybe they went home with Mr. Karasuma.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** No one cares about your crack ship, Fuwa!

**Yuzuki Fuwa:** It was just a suggestion!

**Takuya Muramatsu:** Octopus Balls.

The chat fell into nothing but repeats of that for a good few minutes.

_Yikes._

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** They’re online now.

**Tomohito Sugino:** Hey Mx. Reader!

**Kirara Hazama:** It could be Mr. Karasuma using their phone after he’s killed them.

**Mx. Reader:** It’s me. I’m alive. Karasuma hasn’t killed me.

**Karma Akabane:** Damn, Doc, you were MIA most of the day. How much did you drink last night anyway?

**Mx. Reader:** Enough to regret it. We’ll leave it at that.

**Rio Nakamura:** Yeah your feed tells us that much. LOL

You rubbed your face with a sigh.

**Ryōma Terasaka:** Real talk did you blow chunks?

**Tōka Yada:** Ew!

**Mx. Reader:** Yes. Excessively.

**Tōka Yada:** EWW!

**Nagisa Shiota:** Did Korosensei drink?

**Mx. Reader:** Yeah, not much but apparently he doesn’t need much.

**Nagisa Shiota:** I’m going to need more details.

**Mx. Reader:** I’ll email it to you once I get stuff written down.

**Sumire Hara:** Have you been drinking enough water and eating after?

**Mx. Reader:** Yeah, I’m good. Take out, water, Pocari Sweat, I’ve got it covered.

**Rinka Hayami:** So… what did you just sleep all day?

**Mx. Reader:** I spent most of the day trying to feel like a person again.

**Ryūnosuke Chiba:** That’s a Mood.

**Taisei Yoshida:** Yeah.

**Sōsuke Sugaya:** Same.

**Mx. Reader:** Finals prep is really wiping you guys, huh?

**Hinata Okano:** I mean we’re stoked and all but you know…

**Yūma Isogai:** It’s a lot of pressure.

**Mx. Reader:** I’ll tell you guys what. If you do well on your Finals, I’ll give you a photo I didn’t post from last night.

**Kaede Kayano:** What?

**Taiga Okajima:** PLEASE say it’s Professor Bitch.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** Please tell me it’s Karasuma.

**Megu Kataoka:** Is it of you?

**Karma Akabane:** Guys it’s obviously the octopus.

**Mx. Reader:** Correct.

**Tomohito Sugino:** Okay but how bad could it be?

**Mx. Reader:** It’s him drunk, does that count?

**Nagisa Shiota:** You GOTTA share it.

**Kōki Mimura:** Did you get video by the way?

**Mx. Reader:** Yeah… why?

And _that_ was how you got roped into assisting with an assassination attempt.


	49. This is Not a Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

On the way to school that morning, you stopped into a store and made a few purchases. You had some things you needed to bring in for the day.

At the schoolhouse, you took a moment before entering the faculty lounge. How mad would they be?

When you opened the door you found yourself looking in on two very chipper coworkers and one who looked like he wanted to crawl under his desk and die.

Karasuma first then.

You took a seat and Irina gave you a smile, "Sooo, saw your pictures."

You rubbed your face, "Yeah, guys, I'm so sorry about that. I wanted to make it up to you."

"Make it up to us? Why?" Irina was laughing a bit, "It was a party."

"Yeah, but I should have asked before posting any photos. So…" You reached into your bag pulling out three wrapped gifts, "I got all of you something as an apology."

You passed Karasuma's to him first, the other two going to Irina and Korosensei.

Karasuma was horrifically quiet. He tucked his gift away into his jacket. That was pretty standard in your experience working with folks here, but with the current situation, it felt really awkward.

Irina opened hers immediately, “I don’t really see what the problem is. That sort of thing happens after parties. Oh!” She pulled out the hand cream you’d gotten her, “How did you…?”

You shrugged, “You literally put it on every day and it’s kind of hard to miss the label.”

“Thanks,” she smirked.

Korosensei, meanwhile, was staring at the mixed package of sweets you’d gotten him with utter joy.

You chuckled, “I know they’re not much but you know...”

Karasuma gave a nod and turned his attention back to his laptop.

“So, you survived the morning after pretty well.” Irina was looking at you.

“Yeah… I was sick a bit more after that but Sunday helped.” you ran a hand back over your hair, a bit embarrassed.

“I think the party was fantastic!” the octopus was cheerfully munching away at a red bean bun, “An excellent way to round out the semester.”

Karasuma glanced up at him and back to his work.

Irina leaned over on him, “I  _ definitely _ had a good time.”

Karasuma looked over at her, then at the rest of you.

Calmly, he got up and left the room.

“What’s his problem?” Irina pouted.

“Well, he seems like a really private person.” you gave a small shrug, “I don’t think he’s really the party type.”

“But he had fun too.” she crossed her arms, “How is this man  _ such a square? _ ”

“It could very well be cultural.” Korosensei volunteered, “None of us are from here, after all.”

You gave a nod making a face, “Maybe I fucked up extra bad.”

Irina rolled her eyes, “Who  _ hasn’t _ posted embarrassing photos on the internet at some point?” she got up, “Well, time to go teach these brats more about prepositions. If I have to hear Yoshida say he’s ‘going to home’ one more time, I’m going to throw him there myself.”

You laughed, “Have fun.~”

“Well, we’re certainly still alive.” Korosensei looked over at you, amused, “I would even go so far to say you seem to have endeared yourself to Irina quite a bit.”

“Yeah… still worried about Karasuma though.” you made a face, “I’d rather not piss him off unnecessarily...”

“What did you get him, if I may ask?”

“Well uh… I don’t know if you remember but there was some point in the night when he was sobbing about how much he loves dogs?”

Korosensei laughed, “Yes. I recall.”

“I got him a little tie pin with a dog on it. I figured it was useful and understated enough he might like it...”

He nodded, “I do think it might be a safe option.”

“Oh!” you dug about in your bag, “I also picked up something for the students.”

“For an apology?”

“No, no.” you laughed, setting the pack of Kit Kats on the desk, “For the test.”

“Ah! Because of the false cognate between the name and ‘Kitto Katsu’!”

You nodded.

It had been one of the first things you’d learned working in the school system, even as a Health Education teacher. Kitto Katsu in Japanese meant ‘you will surely win’ and Kit Kat just happened to have a perfect name to capitalize on that. So, Kit Kats had become a common gift to kids taking tests.

You pulled out a Sharpie and began writing names and messages on each package, “I thought they could use a little pick me up.”

“And a distraction?” he suggested, amused.

“...Yeah, maybe.” you didn’t look up from writing.

He chuckled.

Karasuma rejoined the two of you not long after.

You took a little pride in seeing that he was wearing the tie pin.

When second period came up you moved outside with the class. You could already see the grins showing up. Karma opened his mouth to speak. Before that could EVEN get started you threw him his Kit Kat.

He caught it, almost fumbling it, “What-”

“So, you guys have tests coming up. I thought I’d get you something to wish you luck.” you chuckled, walking amongst the kids and handing out Kit Kats, “I know it’s been stressful, but I think you guys are going to do great.”

There was a small snicker behind you, “ _ Octopus Balls. _ ”

Goddammit.

“ANYWAY, as I was saying-”

“ _ Octopus balls. _ ”

“SO, I know you guys can do it and-”

“ _ Octopus balls. _ ”

You facepalmed, “Okay,  _ get it out of your systems _ .”

There was a chorus of  _ ‘octopus balls’ _ with various other comments peppered in.

“Please never sing Odds and Ends again.”

“WERE THERE PICTURES YOU DIDN’T POST OF PROFESSOR BITCH?”

“Did anyone make out?!”

“Did you hook up with Professor Bitch?!”

You sighed.

“HOW did you get pictures of Karasuma doing air guitar? Did you threaten him?”

You were starting to dissolve into embarrassed laughter at this point.

“Children! Please!” Korosensei had his face buried in his hands.

“You were KISSING Mr. Karasuma!” Hinano pointed at him.

“I was not! It was a game! There was a playing card!” He was flailing his tendrils about in protest.

“Say what you want octopus, we saw the pictures.” Nakamura laughed.

“Okay, but what was that selfie of Mx. Reader in your lap though!”

There was a loud, shrill whistle. The source?

Karasuma, looking very unamused.

“ _ Thank you _ .” you gave him a nod, “Okay, finals prep guys, you’re getting down to the wire here.”

“Mx. Reader is correct. If you want to steal that Okinawa trip out from under Class A’s noses then we still have work to do!”

“Besides, you brats don’t need to be involved in grown-up stuff anyway,” Irina remarked, looked over at them.

“So,  _ adult stuff  _ happened huh?” Karma smirked, “Well, gee, you could have just said you didn’t want to deal with a Walk of Shame. We wouldn’t judge.”

“Yeah, I mean Professor Bitch aren’t you kind of prepared for that sort of thing?” Nakamura was grinning.

“WATCH IT, BRATS!”

“Alright. Clearly we need to get something straight here.” Karasuma approached the group and for the first time, you saw a flicker of concern across their faces, “Mx. Reader made a very unfortunate decision to share images from a work party from the weekend. I know some of those images might have been funny but remember, the end of the world is around the corner and everyone needs to blow off steam sometimes. Now, settle down and focus. Summer vacation is coming up and there’s going to be a lot of preparation to do.”

His tone was firm, no-nonsense. He gave you and the others a look. You gave him a nod in return.

“Now then, if we’re all ready to work… let’s begin.” Korosensei started the lesson.

The rest of the day was, primarily calm, but that definitely wasn’t the last time you heard ‘octopus balls’ from the kids.

The next few days went incredibly fast. When the first day of the finals came, everyone was a touch antsy. The kids were full of nervous, confident energy as they headed down the hill. Karasuma had escorted them down, leaving you, Irina, and the octopus at the campus. After cleaning the faculty lounge for what felt like the thirtieth time and rearranging the cabinets in the nurse's office for the hundredth time you decided you needed to put your mind to something else. You considered tossing your tennis ball around but were a bit concerned that with your current level of nerves you’d fling the damn thing through a window by mistake.

Picking up the origami paper from your nurse’s office desk, you moved outside. Irina and Korosensei were already there, looking expectantly at the path down the mountain.

“Geez.” you laughed a little, “We’re like someone’s pets after they left for work.”

Irina looked over, “Hey we put a bunch of time into this too, of course, we’re wondering how they do.”

You took a seat in the grass, pulling out a folder and the origami paper, “True. I’m not one to talk. I’ve been the same…” carefully, you began folding cranes. It kept your hands busy and something about the methodical motions grounded you, “I never understood the point of tests much in school. They always seemed useless since they just quiz your memory more than anything...”

Korosensei glanced at you then back to the path, “Tests are  _ splendid _ . The knowledge soaked up by those eager minds in preparation may be forgotten once the dust has settled. But c’est la vie. The character-building thrill of competition, the privilege of honing one’s mind to a fine point, the ecstasy of giving it your all;  _ that’s _ the treasure.”

“...I’ve never really thought about it like that.” you tucked a finished crane into the folder, starting another.

“Besides, at the end of the day, this is not a test.” his eyes narrowed, “In E Class every single assignment is a foothold back towards Main Campus and respect. Unlike those at the top they cannot afford to consider these mere questions. They must view each exam as a battlefield.”

“I think they’re more than ready for that.” Irina said, “Between all of us grilling them and the pressure, I’d be more worried they’d choke… but they’ve been trying to kill you all year. Pretty sure they’ve had worse pressure.”

You nodded in agreement.

“Nurufufufu~” he looked over at her, “Why Miss Irina, that almost sounded like you’re saying it’s good that I’m here.”

She rolled her eyes, “You wish.”

You laughed a bit, “Aw, Irina, what happened to you saying we were all friends.~”

“If Karasuma can act like that never happened then I can too.” she huffed.

“...you’re really pissed about that huh?” you looked over at her, curious. She and Karasuma had been extra standoffish to each other since the party.

“Well, yeah? I laid one on the guy and THIS is how he acts afterwards?” she looked put out, “Either my skills are rusty, he’s gay, or he’s just made of steel.”

“Could be asexual,” you said idly, tucking a second crane away.

“Hm?”

“You know… people that don’t do sex at all?” you looked over at her in surprise.

“Like what, a priest?” her hand was on her hip and she looked skeptical.

“No, that’s celibate. That’s by choice. Asexuals usually just don’t have any sexual interest.” you shrugged.

Irina made a face, “Don’t tell me that, I don’t need more shit to work around in my job.”

You laughed, shaking your head and tucked another crane away.

“So… you have a thing for Karasuma then?” you asked.

Korosensei’s head snapped around to stare at her. She looked at you like you’d grown a second head, “No?” she crossed her arms, “I’m just pissed that he’s so dense he doesn’t get it.”

“Come now, Miss Irina.~” green stripes were fading in on the octopus’ face, “Are you saying that you don’t find Mister Karasuma attractive?”

“No. Yes-” she huffed, “Maybe in that ‘big stupid strong man’ kind of way but-” she waved a hand, “That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m throwing my best at him and it’s not working.”

You laughed a bit, “I mean maybe that’s just… not what he’s into?”

“What?”

“Maybe you’re not his type?” you gestured.

Her expression flipped to immediate offense, “WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!”

“What is what supposed to mean?” it was Karasuma, having just topped the path with the children behind him.

“Oh, nothing.~ We’ve simply been having a little educational discussion while you were gone.” Korosensei chuckled, waving a hand dismissively, “SO, children, how do you think it’s going?”

Nakamura was front and center with a grin, “I think we’re killin’ it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about us, Teach. We’ve got this.” Karma headed past the three of you into the building.

On one hand, you hoped he was right. On the other hand…

You glanced sidelong at the chipper yellow coworker next to you.

You kinda hoped he wasn’t.

The next day was more of the same. Tense waiting. You found yourself outside again, folding cranes. Korosensei had gotten an advance copy of the test from Karasuma yesterday and was pouring over it with interest.

“My, these  _ are _ excellent questions. Good on them. I’m impressed. This isn’t just some rote classic Lit query. By using quotes from literary classics, they can determine how many books the students have been reading and how flexible their thinking is. The students are asked to take an infamously thorny twentieth-century text and correct a misquoted passage. And Salinger, no less. He wrote in a style reflective of his angsty teenage protagonist’s natural voice. The colloquial style will be difficult to those unfamiliar with the work.” he chuckled, looking over the test paper in his hand, “Fortunately, our students are well prepared for this.”

Irina gave a nod of agreement.

“My projections based on the recent quizzes and study sessions show that the class has a high chance of surpassing their goal!” It was Ritsu. She’d asked to join you as she wasn’t allowed to take the test with her classmates.

“That’s good!” you said it, but your feelings were certainly a bit more mixed than that.

“Nurufufufu~ It will certainly be interesting to see the outcome.”

You nodded, going back to your cranes to keep your mind off of things.

By the time the class came back, you had made ten to add to the collection. With the few from yesterday that brought up the total to...

_ Total: 93 _

_ Left: 907 _


	50. Winning and Losing, Strength and Weakness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come of course!

“Closing ceremonies are today.” Karasuma looked across at you, “Do you intend to go?”

You looked up in surprise. Karasuma had barely spoken to you since the weekend and all the nonsense with the party.

“Oh… uh… ”

“I ask because the octopus and Irina are staying here.” he said coolly, “And I thought the students could do with another supportive teacher there… in case things get ugly.”

“You think they did that badly?”

He leveled his gaze at you, “No. I think they did that  _ well _ .”

You hadn’t thought about that but the students doing well could absolutely make them bigger targets for the Main Campus students…

“I’ll come along, sure.”

“Mx. Reader.”

You looked up at him.

“Thank you for taking down those posts.” he was still staring holes in you, “I’m not certain how much you know about the approach to office parties here.”

“...well I mean, enough to plan one I guess?” you gave the smallest of shrugs.

“Let’s just say that things that happen at the party should stay there.” he turned his attention to the laptop, “And I’d appreciate it if nothing else from said party should end up on the internet or in the hands of the kids.”

“Uh… yeah. I don’t plan on it… well, I promised them a picture of Korosensei drunk but that’s it.”

There was the slightest amount of humor in his reply, but he didn’t look back up at you, “That’s fine.”

You gave a nod.

“...However, I would like copies if you would email them to me.”

“...Of that picture?”

“Of everything, preferably.” 

“Sure.” you tried not to smile, “Research?”

There was a lightness you didn’t expect to his voice. You heard it at times with the kids, “No. Mementos.”

You couldn’t help the smile at that but you kept your face trained down on your notes.

You fuckin’ knew it.

_ He’d had fun. _

Shortly after, Karasuma made his way back down the mountain. When he returned it was with a folder in hand. After three long days of waiting, the results had arrived.

He passed them along to Korosensei. You fetched Irina and the three of you took up position near the door. You weren’t sure about them but you were anxious to hear the results.

For many warring reasons.

Korosensei tapped the folder on the podium, “All righty, class. This is it. The test scores are in.” he unwrapped the tie holding it shut, Without further ado. The English portion. First in E Class… Oh-ho! First _ in the entire grade!  _ Rio Nakamura!”

You heard a small sound from next to you and looking over, saw that Irina had the biggest grin you’d ever seen on her.

So, it wasn’t just you anticipating…

The classroom cheered Nakamura on and she gave a grin, “That’s right.”

“Bravo, my dear.” Korosensei’s voice was filled with warmth and pride as Nakamura approached him, “I’m glad to see my misgivings about your enthusiasm towards studying were unfounded.”

He passed her the results.

“Hey, nothin’ comes ‘tween this girl and the promise of ten billion yen. There is the little matter of your tentacle. Right? You haven’t forgotten?”

His face flashed with a red circle, his voice filled with humor, “Perish the thought.”

You saw that Fuwa had made a mark on a chart next to her. Apparently, she was keeping score between the two classes.

In a flash, the octopus distributed the rest of the English results.

“Nagisa: good show overall, but it seems we still have an eensy, teensy issue with your spelling. Something to work on. In the meantime, as agreed, top marks in a given subject equal one tentacle down.” he lifted one of his larger tentacles that accounted for feet, placing a flag on it marked ‘To Be Destroyed’.

Was there anything he did that wasn’t extra as fuck?

Also, that pose was… something, to say the least. 

But with first place in just one subject, that only lets you destroy one of my tentacles. You won’t know if you truly have cause to celebrate until we’ve seen all the results. So, let’s continue pouring over the grades to see if I’ll lose more.” he reached into the next folder, “Next is Japanese. First in E Class… Yukiko Kanzaki!” there were cheers from the class as he continued on, “But I’m afraid the honor of first in the entire grade goes to A Class’s Gakushu Asano. Still, you gave the principal’s son a run for his money You did great! It’s more than enough..”

“Guys’ a know it all. Total asshole.” Maehara groaned.

“No kidding, right?” Mimura agreed, “Ugh. Nakamura only beat him in English by one point.”

Isogai sighed, “Guess that’s the reason he’s ranked nationally, huh? Top marks in all subjects.”

“ _ All _ of the Big Five jerks are ranked nationally.” Kimura groaned.

“Everybody calls them the big five like they’re equals, Asano’s king of the hill though.” Mimura added, “Nobody gets to the top without going through him first.”

“Moving on to the next subject. In Social Studies, first in E Class goes to Yuma Isogai! As for first in the grade… Congratulations!” his face flashed into a red circle, “You beat out Asano for the top spot!” 

Isogai literally leapt out of his seat as the other kids cheered.

“Excellent job! Especially considering the fiendish questions they cast you.”

“Right now we’re two to one,” said Fuwa, adding another mark to the tally.

“Who got it for Science? Okuda?” Sugaya asked with a grin.

“First in E Class for Science is… Manami Okuda! And...” another red circle, “Outstanding! First in the grade is  _ also _ Manami Okuda!”

More cheers and another tally.

“Yes! Three to one, guys!” Fuwa practically bounced in her seat.

Mimura laughed, “Do we even  _ need _ to hear who won for Math? E Class killed it! No question!”

As Okuda walked back to her seat, test in hand, the other students cheered. Meanwhile, Korosensei had procured party poppers from somewhere and had proceeded to shower the room in confetti while still sporting a red circle.

“Nice goin’, Okuda!” Okajima was grinning, “Girl, that tentacle is yours. You earned it!”

Kimura pumped his fist, “Yes! That means we’ve won the bet and our prize!”

“I can’t wait!” Hinano grinned.

You felt movement and noticed that Karasuma had left, phone to his ear.

“Which just leaves Mathematics,” Takebayashi smirked, pushing up his glasses.

The kids were excited, laughing and chatting about their wins.

On one hand, you were thrilled for them.

On the other hand…

You glanced at the octopus.

He seemed thrilled about the whole thing.

Attention turned to Karma, expectation clearly rising that he would take the top rank. Korosensei pulled out the results and reviewed them, but the response was not as excited as previous ones had been as he handed out the papers, “Kataoka, Takebayashi, excellent work. The two of you received the highest marks in E Class. You both tied for 7th place in the overall grade!”

There were some awkward glances at Karma. The boy stared at his test for a moment before proceeding to get up and walk out of the classroom altogether.

That…

Karma was in and out of class pretty often but not like this. You followed after him.

“Hold that thought, class.” you heard Korosensei say behind you before a rush of air flickered past you.

He must be taking it as seriously as you were.

You made your way outside and spotted Karma leaning against one of the trees where study halls had been held for the past couple of weeks. The boy’s test was crumpled in his hands and his expression was taut. Korosensei was nowhere to be seen. A bit of a surprise to you.

You approached the red-head, “Hey, everything okay?”

He looked up at you and for half a second you saw an expression you hadn’t seen often on Karma.

The boy looked like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“Yeah, Doc, it’s fine. It’s just a test.” he shrugged, his mask of aloof coolness slipping back in place.

“It is  _ never _ just a test.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin as Korosensei spoke from behind the tree, “Never underestimate your target. The A Class is mighty indeed. They monopolize the top six ranks in overall scores for five subjects. The best scores in E Class went to Kataoka and Takebayashi, both admirably tied for seventh place. Not surprising. They studied hard. As, of course, did your opponents in A Class, which is to be expected. These finals were nothing to sneeze at. The test’s difficulty level increased. One’s only chance was to study.”

“What’re you tryin’ to say, Teach?” Karma’s voice was low, the cool veneer barely concealing his anger.

Korosensei leaned around the tree, over the boy’s shoulder, “Well, I hate to say it, but… Someone thought they could coast by on luck and a devil-may-care attitude, and proceeded to  _ royally screw it up _ .”

The boy went as red as his hair. Korosensei stepped up beside him, “Three of your classmates each have a claim to one of my tentacles: Nakamura, Isogai, and Okuda.  _ You _ , on the other hand, have nothing. Which is only fair, as that’s exactly what your carefree, non-committal attitude has contributed to the cause. Is that understood?” he darted in front of the boy, near you. Green stripes decorated his face as he began poking at the boy’s head and face, “Those who fail to apply themselves, who, at the moment of truth, decide to sit back and let the chips fall where they may, are destined for disappointment. An assassin who neglects to sharpen his blade is no assassin at all. He’s just a boastful brat swinging around a rusty sword.”

The boy knocked his hand away and stormed off back towards the schoolhouse.

“What was that?” you looked over at him.

Karasuma joined the two of you, looking over at Korosensei, “Don’t you think that was a bit harsh?”

“Of course. It had to be. I cut him down so he’ll spring back up.” his voice dropped into a similar tone to the genuine one you often heard him use. This one tinged with disappointment, “The boy’s enormously talented. There’s no denying that, but he’s a novice. He has not yet learned how to be  _ worthy _ of that talent. He refuses to meet any challenge except on his  _ own _ terms. He doesn’t see the true value of competition. Young people like him tend to be immature. They win too often without any effort so they never learn how to handle a real challenge. For great talents the pang of defeat can be a much-needed wake-up call.” he walked past the two of you, sparing you a glance as he did, “On the surface, the whole concept of exams may seem arbitrary, but deep down, it’s not about grades. It’s about rising to the occasion. It’s about tasting the rapture in triumph and disgrace of failure. The meaning of winning and losing, of strength and weakness.” you watched as he made his way through the trees. The pair of you followed at a reasonable pace, listening, “They go hand in hand, you see. One is meaningless without the other. To win, one has to lose. To be strong, one must be weak. You must embrace both to grow your strengths.”

He paused looking overhead, arms outstretched, voice distant and almost wistful, “The difference between the novice and the master is that the master has failed more times than the novice has tried.”

Quietly, you heard him add, “It’s so important… and it’s something I didn’t do until the very end.”

You wondered what he meant by that. 

His voice echoed back to you from that night in your apartment.

_ She died because of my mistakes. _

What did that mean… exactly?

_ We wouldn’t want you becoming a target too. _

…

What if he hadn’t meant himself but had meant she had been one as well?

More questions.

Less answers.

The three of you returned back to class shortly after, Korosensei taking the lead. Karasuma glanced over at you and you got the feeling he was looking to see your take on this experience.

You gave him a small shrug. Karma had, in the time he’d been here, only improved under the Octopus’ teachings and there was some merit to what he said.

Karma has been slacking during study sessions. Not even showing up to some. He was also always giving off this air of smug self-assuredness.

Maybe the boy did need to be knocked down a peg or two to improve.

When you made it back to the classroom, Korosensei was addressing the class, “A fine showing on the finals. You managed to snag the top spot in three out of five subjects. Let’s get this assassination attempt underway, shall we? The top three students can pick whichever tentacle they’d like.”

“Hold up, Octopus!” Terasaka made his way to the front of the class, flanked by Muramatsu, Yoshida, and Hazama, “What’s this B.S. about us only havin’ the top three spots?”

“Nue? I believe all subjects have been accounted for.” he began holding up fingers, “Um… English, Science, Social Studies…”

Terasaka smacked a tentacle aside, “Nice try! I don’t think so. The major subjects are Japanese, English, Social Studies, Science, Mathematics, and let’s not forget Home Ec!” he slapped four perfect scored tests onto the podium and gestured to his group, “We all aced it. Read ‘em and weep”

“WHAT?! HOME EC?!” Korosensei was shrieking.

Ohhhh boy.

Terasaka’s group looked pleased with themselves. He grinned, “Hey, if it was covered on the finals, it counts.”

Hazama stroked her chin with a smirk, “What d’ya know? The idiot pulled his weight. I’m proud of us.”

“Not so fast! Home Ec is a gimme! You put all your effort into getting perfect scores on this part of the exam?!” the Octopus was flailing in protest.

“You didn’t say which major subjects now, did you?” Terasaka was smug.

“We should have told everybody in class to do it.” Hazama chuckled.

Chiba nudged Karma with a grin.

Karma smirked, “Also, Wow, Teach. Way to be rude. If you ask me, Home Ec is straight-up one of the most important classes.”

The students were all yelling their agreements, happy to have one up on him.

“That’s right! And you have to keep your promise!” Yada pointed at him.

“Look at you tryin’ to cheat! C’mon, be a man!” Okajima was grinning.

Sugaya laughed, “Home Ec is the toughest one! And all four of ‘em got the top score!”

“That makes for seven tentacles in all!” Hinano chirped.

“SEVEN?!” Korosensei looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

A chant of “Seven Shots! Seven Shots!” broke out.

You felt your worry tick up  _ dramaticall _ y. Were they going to do this  _ now? _ Like  _ right now? _ He seemed worried for once and-

“Oh, Korosensei. We put our heads together and got this idea. See, we were all thinking we could incorporate our prize from the wager with A Class into the assassination.”

“Nani?” Korosensei looked to the class rep.

“Sorry to interrupt but closing ceremonies will be starting soon. We need to get going.” Karasuma looked at the class.

“‘Kay!” Nakamura got up and gave Korosensei a grin, “Don’t worry, we’ll be coming back for those tentacles.”

Isogai smiled, “We can talk more about our idea when we get back!”

Korosensei gave them a nod, still looking a bit shaken.

You made your way down the mountain with Karasuma and the kids. Everyone was in high spirits and, despite your worry, it was pretty infectious. Of course, that could have been because of the relief you felt that you didn’t have to worry about an assassination attempt right this minute. You pulled out your phone for a moment, [Close shave huh? ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )]

[I have a feeling I -know- what they’re planning.]

[Oh?]

[They’re going to ask to implement their plan during the Okinawa trip. It’s a very clever strategy.]

[At least it gives you time to prepare.]

[I cannot wait to see what they have in store for me~ I’m so proud! (´ ∀ ` *)]

At least he was in good spirits about it…

Your group arrived first. Something you’d learned, in your time here, was required of E Class. You stood with Karasuma inside and heard a commotion at the door.

It was Terasaka and his group.

“Hey, hey! Lookie here! Well if it ain’t Mr. Student Council President himself!” The boy was really, really enjoying this.

You weren’t sure who the kid he was talking to was. You looked to Karasuma.

“ Gakushū Asano. The principal’s son.” He nodded, “One of those Big Five they keep talking about.”

Ohhhh...

The boy moved to breeze past Terasaka, “Pardon me. Some of us have a ceremony to get to. I don’t have time to indulge the likes of you-”

Terasaka stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, “Whoa! Whoa! Not so fast there, slick. What’s the big rush? Aren’t you  _ forgettin’ _ something?”

It was Isogai who politely addressed the boy, “We had a bet, Asano, where the winner could make any one demand. And last I checked, you lost. Our demand was sent to you via email. I trust you have no complaints?”

Terasaka grinned, his voice filled with challenge, “Don’t even try pretending’ it was all just a joke! We’ll throw in Home Ec. We mopped the floor with you in that, too. Not that anybody’s keepin’ score. Oh,  _ wait a second _ , nevermind.  _ Yeah, they are _ .”

Asano huffed and gave a nod, pointedly ignoring Terasaka in favor of Isogai, “The agreement will be honored.”

And with that, he and the others walked away.

Students were filing in now and everyone moved to their positions.

You noticed that your students looked nothing like they had during that first assembly you’d attended. They were at ease, confident, and happy.

You felt a rush of pride.

They were such great kids.

Sugaya pulled away from the group for a moment, approaching Karasuma, “Not to be  _ that guy _ ,” Ohhhhh boy where was this going? “but Ritsu’s stand-in is giving me a serious case of the willies, sir.”

You looked past him to see the girl in question. You’d heard mention of a stand-in for Ritsu but this was your first time seeing her. She was a bit plain and rather stern-looking but no odder than any other student here.

“Suck it up soldier.” you almost laughed at hearing that from Karasuma, “We can’t afford to have Ritsu exposed as a machine. Her stand-in is my immediate supervisor’s daughter, so ease up. The kid knows how to keep a secret and not to pry. Her father agreed to this because Ritsu’s tutoring got her grades up.”

“She was sitting next to me during the exams, too,” Sugaya sighed, “I mean, she’s nice, but she’s definitely the reason I came in dead last.”

You chuckled, “Sugaya, really?”

He looked at you, “What?”

“I mean if you have a crush on the girl you could just say so.”

“What?!” he looked alarmed, “I-”

You laughed a bit, “Now, come on. Don’t be like that. I’m sure she’s a lovely girl. Just because she’s not officially part of the class is no reason to treat her any differently. Ritsu’s spent time with her, I’m sure she could tell you more about her if that’s your issue.”

Sugaya didn’t seem convinced but made his way back to his spot, cowed.

The Closing Ceremony was officially underway and the Dean droned on, and on, trying hard to incorporate the common insults to E Class, “Vacation is no excuse for becoming lazy. Uh… you, uh. Hmmm. A few months of fun in the sun isn’t worth landing in E Class…”

It did nothing to bother E Class. The jokes didn’t land and nothing hit home.

You didn’t know you could be so proud.

When you came back up to the classroom, Korosensei was waiting, grinning as usual. Stacked at the front of the classroom were…

Oh, for heaven’s sake.

The Kyoto Guidebook had been bad enough, but this thing took the cake. It was a book that was easily the size of a set of encyclopedias. As in… an entire set of encyclopedias… crammed into a single book.

The title proclaimed it to be ‘Summer Vacation Guidebook: Kunugigaoka Junior High School, Class 3-E’.

“One guidebook for each of you!” he announced, excited.

Maehara sighed, lugging his book back to his desk, “Again with the overkill guidebooks! Doesn’t really get how to sum things up, does he?”

Okajima was holding his book up trying to flip through the pages, “Feels like I’m playing an accordion.”

“And even this isn’t enough! These barely begin to scratch the surface! The irresistible siren-songs of Summer are beyond count. Now, then. As we plunge headlong into the break, remember this. A certain main event is just around the corner.” Korosensei sounded delighted.

“Yeah. Trust us, Teach, no one’s gonna forget that.” Nakamura grinned.

Korosensei held up a school handbook, “Every year, this little event is a privilege reserved for the students with the highest scores on the finals. That is to say: A Class. This time, however, A  _ and _ E Class were neck-and-neck at the top fiftieth percentile. So, I’m proud to say, you boys and girls more than qualify. For the  _ Kunugigaoka Junior High Summer Special Course in Okinawa! _ Three whole days at one of the finest resorts on the island! 

The classroom burst into cheers. You looked over at Irina and Karasuma. He was about as close as he ever got to a smile in the day to day and Irina was clearly excited for the prospect.

“So, then.  _ What will it be?” _ he folded his hands together, eyes narrowing, “Are the seven winners going to step up?”

Isogai smiled, “Well, sir, we’ve decided we’d like to cash-in our tentacle freebie options during Summer camp.” 

Korosensei’s voice was full of pride, “ _ Very good _ . Seven tentacles will present a  _ major  _ handicap. But that’s not all! Anything about Okinawa strike you as advantageous? Perhaps the fact that it’s an _ island _ , surrounded by  _ water _ ?” 

You took a small breath, reminding yourself that at least the attempt wasn’t going to be today.

The octopus scratched his head, another thing you really didn’t understand him being able to do, “I’ll be honest with you, children. Korosensei is more than a wee bit nervous. As you know, I’ve already handed out the report cards for you to show to your parents. But these are the report cards from me, your target, to you, my assassins.” he whipped out a pen and paper, drawing rapidly before tossing the papers into the air. A rain of double circles with his stupid smile drawn in the center.

Top marks.

“You’ve become a formidable bunch! You should be proud! The first term has been all about the basics,  _ which you’ve mastered! _ But now, we’re gonna step things up!”

He darted outside and all of you followed, the students getting ready to head home.

“First term is over! Let the Assassination Classroom Summer Vacation begin!” as you stepped outside you looked up, the idiot was on the roof waving around pool toys, a bug net, watermelon, and other summer-related paraphernalia, “Time for a little R & R, a little supplemental study, and a  _ lotta killing _ !” 

You laughed a bit, shaking your head.

He almost seemed more excited for the summer than they were.

As you watched the kids head down the path, you smiled.

Okay, so there was another scary event on the horizon but damn… you were proud of these kids. Proud to be a part of this class.

A hand touched your shoulder, “Mx. Reader.” you turned to see Irina, a smirk on her face, “So, if we’re going to be going to an island, we need to update your wardrobe. Told you I’d take you shopping.”

You laughed, “Yeah, sure, sounds like a plan.” 

“Good, I’ll hit you up next week sometime, yeah?” she grinned.

You gave a nod and watched as she walked off.

What a day.

There was a rush of wind and Korosensei was in front of you, he leaned down just a touch, “Don’t forget, we have somewhere to be this weekend.”

You laughed, “As if I could.”

He chuckled and leapt skyward, dashing off.

This last week of July was going to be something else.

When you got home you realized you still needed to check in with someone. You texted Ritsu, [Hey! I’ve got some news for you!]

She immediately appeared on your phone, “Hello Mx. Reader!”

“So, I talked to Korosensei.” you grinned, “He said that he’s going to look into options for you for the camera idea we had. He just wanted to wait ‘til after finals were over since everyone was so busy.”

“Really?!” she grinned, “That’s wonderful news!”

You nodded, “Also, I heard you tutored your stand-in! Good job!”

She nodded, “Nise Onaga! She’s really fun!”

“Yeah?” you sat on your couch, chuckling.

“Mmhmm! Did you know she does Shorinji Kempo?”

“Shorinji Kempo?”

“Yes! Let me show you, she let me record one of her sessions!”

She pulled up a video on your phone and you were surprised to see Onaga doing martial arts.

“Whaaaaaat?”

“She’s very good! I suggested to Mr. Karasuma that she be added to the class roster but apparently it’s not advisable. I think she would be an excellent asset in the assassination of Korosensei!”

You chuckled, “Seems like it, she’s pretty brutal.”

You watched as Onaga held a girl’s hand back after slamming her to the ground. The girl tapped out quickly.

The video disappeared, “Mx. Reader, thank you for the camera suggestion. Speaking with someone else outside of the classroom has widened my perspective… I’m interested in knowing more about the world outside of the school...”

“Yeah?” you smiled, “I’m glad to hear that. It’s always good to work to grow outside of your comfort zone.”

She grinned.

“Say,” you looked at her, “Do you think you could get me in touch with Onaga sometime? Not now of course but in the future?”

“Sure!” Ritsu was all smiles, little suns rotated behind her.

“So, what are your summer plans?”

“Well…” she flicked a hand, a list of things coming up on the screen, “Let’s see, Karma has expressed an interest in tutoring, Isogai and Hara both want to teach me basic cooking skills, Okajima...”

You spent the evening listening to Ritsu’s summer itinerary. It sounded like it was going to be full of new experiences for her.

Just like the rest of you, you supposed.


	51. Toy Story (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come... I guess? I really gotta figure out how I'm gonna illustrate these chapters...

Summer was here, the semester was over, and you finally had some time to relax.

At least a day or two anyway until your trip to the Tomita Farm with the Octopus.

But tonight was your night. You could relax, destress, not worry about things.

You were packing laundry away in a small dresser in your room when you spotted something peeking out from below your clothes. What the hell was-

You pulled it out, curious, and nearly flung it across the room.

Christ.

You closed your eyes, taking a breath, and tried to get over your embarrassment.

When you had first announced you were moving to Japan, your friends had thrown a party 

It had been a blast. The whole thing had been themed around the country. You'd gotten gifts. Useful things you'd need for your new place like pots and pans, care package items like snacks from back home to pack with you, books on bento recipes, and some ridiculous items like wind up sushi that would roll around the floor, sushi themed socks, and… the item currently in your hand.

A tentacle-shaped dildo.

You had forgotten you even had this thing. You didn't even keep it with your other toys. How long had it been stuffed in the back of this drawer?

You looked at it. It was made of silicone and made to look like a stylized octopus tentacle.

It was also bright fucking purple because your friends thought that was hilarious.

You ran your hands along it and felt...

Oh my god?

You facepalmed, given your recent situation you uh...

You suddenly were  _ much more _ interested in this toy than you had been.

...

Well...

It was your night in and...

You bit your lip.

It did look like it might feel...  _ interesting _ .

You caved. Mind made up, you dug the other box out of your closet, retrieving lube and a bullet vibe in case you needed any uh... additional assistance.

God, you could not believe you were doing this.

You were so fucking embarrassed.

You shut off the lights so you didn't have to deal with thinking about the visuals.

Then you laid down on your futon slowly removing your clothes. Just... Just had to  _ not _ think about how ridiculous this was. That’s all. 

_ Just enjoy it. _

_ This is your day off, Reader, if you want to spend the evening doing this, that's your call. _

No one had to know.

You laid back at first, toy between your thighs as you started caressing yourself.

Already you were far more turned on than you expected. 

_ God... Okay just... Just focus on how things feel so you don't get so embarrassed you bail.  _

You told yourself.

So you focused instead on how good things felt. Your mind replacing the image of your own hand with something bright yellow and distinctly more alien in appearance. You bit back a whimper imagining him. You leaning back against him maybe? His chest to your back. Hands and tentacles exploring along the shapes of your form. A pair of fingers teasing and stroking at you...

That…

You shivered, arching back just a bit and imagining warmth around you. You thought back to the times you’d flown with him, tentacles cinched tight around your limbs…

Oh, that…

Shit, that was nice.

The idea of being wrapped in tentacles, tipping your head back against him, unable to get away from the experience even if you  _ wanted _ to...

You shuddered at the thought and paused even though it was torture to do so. If you were going to do this best not to get ahead of yourself...

Reaching out, you picked up the bottle of lube, pouring a bit into your hand. You sat up a bit, maneuvering the toy. You slid a well-lubed hand over it and then guided it where it needed to go.

As it slipped into you, you moaned softly, shivering. God that...

_ Damn _ , why hadn't you used this thing  _ before? _

With one hand you slid the toy in and out of you in slow, gentle thrusts. You imagined him nuzzling into your neck and shoulder, his breath hot on your ear as he told you how amazing you looked with him inside you.

You gasped, shakily as you pushed the toy in further.

_ "Ooooh..." _ You were panting, that...

That was _ right _ where you wanted it.

You sped up, your mind going places now. Those hands of his holding your waist. The tentacle inside you maybe joined with a second one wrapping around the first. God what sounds would he make, you wondered. You had heard a variety of ridiculous things from him in your time in the classroom, but there were a few times you’d heard him breathless or that low dark tone he used sometimes…

What would he feel like? He was soft but firm. It was an odd sensation, not…

Oh god.

You stopped for a second, laughing to yourself. OH, GOD?

_ HE FELT LIKE THIS FUCKING TOY. _

Oh, you had a LOT of questions about why that was, but for the moment? That definitely explained your reaction when you’d picked it up.

Relaxing, you took a breath, time to get back on task...

You thought about him pulling you close, whispering all the things he’d love to do to you if you’d allow it. What would he like? Would he like this? Would he want this?

You rocked your hips squirming. What did he look like when he…

You trembled at the thought. 

Ohhhh that was a  _ whole other range _ of things to think about. Him panting, moaning, writhing as you touched him. Kissing him. Maybe using your mouth in more… creative ways.

You weren’t certain what his… situation was… per se… but, well, this was your fantasy and tentacles were nice…

Given how… excitable he was about things, you had a feeling he would be easy to tease. That thought made your bite your lip, stifling a moan as you rocked hard against the toy inside you.

As much as you’d love to be the one at his mercy, the idea of getting him wound up was… god, that was nice…

The idea of him having a meltdown over your touch was attractive…

And kind of adorable.

It was the idea of how he might react to what you were doing right now that sent you over the edge, shaking. You continued to rock yourself against the toy below you, trying not to cry out finally giving in and letting out a moan as the feeling began to fade.

Carefully, you slid the toy out, laying it aside and catching your breath.

You closed your eyes your mind wandering a bit as your body cooled.

This whole thing was so…

Confusing?

You hadn’t done this sort of thing before, fantasizing about people you knew. Normally it was just things from your collection of stories or things you had watched.

It was a fun fantasy, of course, but the chances of it ever happening?

Not likely.

Besides even if…

Well, even if you got the chance to-

Could he even?

Oh shit, well that  _ was _ a question wasn't it?

Like, okay, sure even if he  _ couldn't, _ he technically could still do things for you, but that just seemed really shitty. You wanted him to get  _ something _ out of it.

Did he even…

Oh god, did he even have…

Ohhhhkay something to think about later because right now that was too much.

Okay but… What if he didn't or couldn't?

You considered this for a moment.

It’d be a bit of a bummer but...

Even if that were the case… you would still care about him. Still, want to be with him.

It didn't change how you felt about him.

You wanted him in all ways, not just that one.

That was a hell of a realization especially given what you’d just been doing.

With a sigh, you got up, picking up toys and finding clothes for yourself.

Not that any of it would matter in the end.

The world was ending and people were trying to kill him.

You shook your head. This wasn’t the time to think about shit like that…

You looked at the toy in your hand and made a mental note to write a tasteful thank you email to the friend who’d gotten it for you because  _ holy god it was nice _ .

Time for a shower. You had a mess to clean up.


	52. Kaleidoscope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

Friday afternoon, you stopped in at Donki. You needed to grab a few light groceries. As you turned down one of the aisles, you spotted something that made you stop and start laughing like an idiot in the middle of the aisle.

A whole display of octopus plushies.

Yellow ones, front and center.

You were  _ definitely _ getting him one.

Your alarm went off.

No work today…

With Summer vacation kicked off, there were still things you needed to show up for, like drills.

Today, however, was Sunday.

And you were going to Hokkaido with an octopus.

You got up, running your hands over your face and scratching your head. Let’s see…

Clothes, shower, brush teeth, breakfast, bag…

Right now it all felt like a lot, but you knew once you got moving you’d be fine.

Getting up, you made your way to the closet, looking in.

Oh…

Hey, you didn’t have to dress for work…

You dug out some shorts and a shirt but then laughed, remembering one of your t-shirts in here. You rarely wore your Engrish shirts out where people could see them but… why the hell not.

After a shower, and you felt a little more like a human being, you took a moment to check your clothes in the mirror. A white T-shirt with NOT WARNING MAKE LOVED FOR PEACE WORLD in huge letters and shorts. Perfect.

What sort of day was this going to be? You were working your way through a small bowl of rice, miso soup steaming next to you. The last time had been like a date and that had been before… well, before  _ a lot of things _ .

You rolled your eyes, he’d literally spent the day with you in your apartment last Sunday. This shouldn’t make you so stupid fucking nervous. You threw up in front of him, you had literally slept in the same bed as hi-

You buried your face in your hands, feeling the heat radiate to your hands.

Okay, no thinking about nomikai night that is gonna make everything worse.

You hadn’t had a lot of time to think about much except finals prep lately. 

That’s right…

Pulling out your notebook, you flipped to the back looking over your notes on the class. Maybe you could check in with some of the kids over the summer. Would that be weird? You would be seeing them for extracurriculars anyway, so it wouldn’t be difficult to arrange a talk. You made a note to yourself to bring it up on the next day of drills.

Your phone pinged and you looked down. [  ( ° ∀ ° )ﾉﾞ Good morning, Reader! Ready to see some lovely lavender fields?]

You laughed. [Finishing breakfast, need a few. (っ˘ڡ˘ς) ]

[Of course!]

You quickly polished off your soup and put your dishes in the sink. After a quick brush of your teeth, you packed up your notes into your bag and grabbed your shoes, heading to the balcony. At this rate, you should just start keeping a pair out there... 

[k Ready to go! ୧(^ᴗ^)୨ ]

[On my way! ･*･:≡( ε:) ]

You snorted at the emoji and stepped outside, slipping your shoes on.

You heard the familiar sound of his dash before you saw him. He was in front of you on your tiny balcony.

“Hey!” you straightened and smiled.

His view went to your shirt and he laughed, “How very appropriate for you.”

You laughed, “Yeah.”

“Well then, shall we?”

You nodded and suddenly you were in his robes. You’d never… quite figured out what happened when he did this. It was just like one second you were one place, the next you were in another and disoriented.

“To Hokkaido!” he called, taking off.

You laughed, “To Hokkaido, I guess.”

“So, have you been enjoying your time off?”

“Yeah, it’s been good to just… relax.”

You definitely  _ weren’t _ relaxed right now. You were pressed firmly back against him. His body warm against your back, tentacles laced around you holding you in place. You felt your face, hot and flush. It was just flying. You were just taking a trip. It wasn't weird. This was nothing to get all overwhelmed about it was fine. You had done this before.

“I can certainly understand that.” he chuckled, “I’ve made plans for a trip of my own before Okinawa.”

“Oh?”

“Mm, Mount Everest is a lovely break from this heat.”

“...Mount Everest.”

He chuckled, green stripes appearing, “Why yes. I’m sure you’ve heard of it?”

“Yeah. Big mountain. Kills people. Covered in bodies.”

“That is the one. The tallest mountain in the world at 8,844 meters. Also called Sagarmatha, Deodungha, Chomolungma, or Zhumulangma Feng. Its name, Everest, came from Sir George Everest, a British surveyor.”

“...and it’s covered in dead bodies.”

He laughed, “Well, yes. There are roughly two hundred and fifty bodies on the mountain, in fact. It’s not a mountain to take lightly and unfortunately, many people do.”

“And retrieving the bodies...”

“Too dangerous, too expensive, too troublesome...” he considered this for a moment, “Perhaps I should offer my assistance in that while I’m there.

“So what, you can just handle the cold?” you looked up at him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” more green stripes.

“Well, yes, I am taking notes,” you smirked.

He chuckled.

Mount Everest for fun. You shook your head, “So, you’re going to spend part of your summer vacationing on a freezing open grave to escape the heat.”

“Precisely.”

Of course he was.

_ Of course he was. _

“Ah! Look!” he gave a nod and you could see a thin stripe of purple on the horizon rapidly approaching.

“Is that… ohhhh...”

Your words died in your throat at the sight. There was an ocean of color below you. A sea of flowers dancing in the summer breeze. Purple fields seemed to stretch on forever.

It was even more beautiful than you remembered.

He'd been right about coming back.

You heard him chuckle and the two of you landed near the same lot as last time.

He donned his disguise and you snorted. You’d almost forgotten he’d be wearing it. 

There were certainly more people this time around. Instead of beginning with the buildings, the two of you made your way around the fields themselves, walking past the roped-off flowerbeds. You snapped photos, a few for back home and several for yourself. As before, he insisted on taking some of his ridiculous ones.

You realized you didn’t mind it as much this time.

While strolling through the flowerbeds, you talked about finals.

"They certainly did well. I'm very proud of them." He grinned, "I do hope they prove to be as ingenious in their attempt as they were in the test."

"Are you really worried about it?" You glanced over at him.

"To an extent but I'm certainly not without tricks up my sleeve." His tone and smile were reassuring.

"I'm really proud of them too." You smiled to yourself, thinking about how confident they had looked at the closing ceremonies, "They've come a long way."

"I like to think we all have." He replied with a nod, "I think everyone in this classroom has grown by leaps and bounds. Myself included."

You chuckled, "Yeah, I mean could you imagine if we'd done welcoming parties for Irina and I? It would have been nothing like our nomikai."

He laughed, "Oh absolutely not."

“I don’t think I’m ever going to recover from Karasuma performing Queen.” you laughed.

“I was quite surprised with your choice.” he chuckled.

You shrugged, “I used to dance around my apartment to it.” you grinned, “Selfie was a genius move.”

Green stripes, “I like to think so.”

“I don’t think the kids will let any of us live it down, though.” you shook your head, "They really put me through the wringer this week." You sighed, "If I have to hear one more takoyaki joke I'm going to scream."

He chuckled, "it was  _ quite _ the unfortunate post."

"I'm still getting texts from the kids sometimes that just say 'octopus balls'."

He laughed, a tinge of pink to his cheeks.

"I've started sending them information on Octopus mating habits in retaliation. It's working... I think."

"And why do you happen to have  _ that _ information on hand?~" his voice was full of absolute unbridled humor, "Something to do with your  _ interesting _ manga collection?"

"No- wait," oh god you were a fucking idiot, of course, he had seen those...

Well, two could play this game, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Pink came into his cheeks and he chuckled, "Well, wouldn't I be the one well versed in the topic?"

Oh… Christ.

You felt your face heat up dramatically and watched as green stripes formed around his face, "I could always make some _ suggestions _ if you want to expand your collection."

You were going to scream.

"Nurufufufu~" his grin widened, "What? No witty repartee?"

"Shut up!" You laughed, rubbing at your face, "When did you even SEE those?"

"When you were sick. I  _ did _ clean your apartment after all..."

...

You looked at him in abject horror for a moment.

What else had he found???

His grin only widened.

You pointed at him, “You better no-”

“I swear, Reader.” he chuckled, “I didn’t go through anything  _ too _ personal of yours while you were sick.”

You gave him a hard look, “Why don’t I believe you?”

“It’s the truth!” he protested.

You gave him a long look, "...nope. Still don't believe you."

_ "Reader!" _

You laughed, "So, should we get something to eat?"

He looked like he'd swallowed a lemon again, "I suppose."

"No need to get all pouty about it." You teased, "I mean… unless maybe you have something to feel guilty about."

"N-no!"

Ohhhh…

Now you  _ really _ didn't believe him.

"Uh huuuh…"

"Let's go get food shall we?" He hastily lead the way down the path.

What _ had _ he gotten up to in your apartment anyway?

He lead the way down the trails towards a familiar location. The fairy tale looking building you had visited on your first visit. Today you passed by it and made your way to a glassed-in building that looked a bit like a greenhouse with an outer pavilion that declared itself to be Café René. The interior was cool and bright, other visitors were sitting at the collections of tables, chatting and eating. You remembered how light your breakfast had been and eagerly placed your order.

In no time the two of you were seated by a window with your meals. You had gotten the Hokkaido potato gratin which came with a side plate of rice and curry. Meanwhile, he had a bowl of gnocchi in a cream sauce. Both of you had gotten the lavender iced tea.

“So...” you looked up at him, “I guess you can die after this huh?”

He looked up in surprise.

You gave a little shrug, “Well, I mean, I can’t tell you you can’t die until our trip anymore.”

His expression softened a touch, “I suppose we’ll need to make more plans then.”

O-oh…

You could feel your face heat up and turned your attention to your food, “I’d be okay with that.”

“There are so many things we can do. After all, there’s Mount Fuji, Osaka Castle, Itsukushima Shrine, Rikugien Garden...” he paused, looking at you, “...perhaps you would be interested in the lantern ceremony of Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park.”

You looked up, “Lantern ceremony?”

He gave a nod, “August is approaching, after all. On the 6th of each year there are two ceremonies held in the park. The first one is in the morning. A one minute silence to honor the victims. The second is a Lantern Ceremony in the evening where paper lanterns inscribed with wishes for peace are floated down the river...”

You stared at him for a long moment.

Wishes for peace with the creature planning to destroy the Earth.

This whole year was something else alright.

“Of course, if a memorial ceremony is too dark there are certainly other things we could plan fo-” his tone hitched up in a bit of panic.

That… that was adorable goddammit.

“I think that sounds lovely.”

“The 6th it is then.” he chuckled.

You turned your attention back to your food, “So, no dying on me before the 6th.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.~”

You couldn’t help but smile.

When you had finished your meals you made your way back outside and spent more time among the flowers. You visited the Gallery Fleur again, finally being able to finish it this time. From there you checked out the Potpourri House and the tiny Proche House both of which were small shops dedicated to all things lavender. Then the Distillery Workshop where you saw how the lavender oils were extracted from the flowers grown here. Afterwards, it was the Perfume Workshop where perfumes made from the farm's flowers were sold alongside lavender soaps and such. When you left the building, the sky was beginning to tinge with the colors of sunset. You made your way back to the edge of the field, staring.

There was a stiff breeze along the hillside, the scent of lavender and growth was heavy in the air. The sun was lowering in the sky and the heavens were painted in pinks, golds, and oranges. You looked over at your companion. He, like the sky, was pink, his expression soft as he looked out across the fields. It was quiet between you for a long moment.

"You know…” he spoke softly, “Historically, lavender has been associated with healing, love, and devotion." He wasn't looking at you, "It seems like beautiful things are often attributed to healing."

You felt a blush rise in your cheeks and you looked back out over the field, "It certainly is beautiful."

"Yes. It certainly is…"

You noticed that he wasn't looking at the field anymore. His eyes were trained on you.

You wished he wouldn’t do things like this sometimes…

You couldn’t get your hopes up like that.

"We should get a picture!" You had to break up this weirdness before you imploded.

He chuckled, "Of course!"

His camera appeared and the two of you got a few selfies in front of the evening field.

You loved every single one of them.

On the flight home, you admired the sunset view, thinking over the day. 

It had been  _ wonderful _ . A great way to round the first term…

He was warm against your back, the sky was on fire with color, and…

_ It seems like beautiful things are often attributed to healing. _

You felt your face burn and you made a face, closing your eyes. 

He was kind and he loved to joke and tease. 

It didn’t  _ mean _ anything.

_ Keep it to yourself, don’t get your hopes up, and say nothing.  _

It never meant anything...


	53. Target Acquired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!  
> Korosensei's POV is over [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49215563).

When he delivered you to your balcony you gave him a grin, shaking off your morose thoughts, "That was  _ so _ worth the wait."

He chuckled, "I'm glad."

"Oh! Hold on I've got something for you!" Kicking off your shoes, you ran inside, waving for him to follow.

You retrieved the stupid octopus plush from your room and returned, holding it up for him, "I ran into you in Donki again."

"Nurufufu~" he leaned in, looking at it more closely, "The resemblance is uncanny!"

"I got him for you." You offered him the plush, "Thought you could maybe use him as a mascot."

He chuckled and accepted the plush gently, "Thank you, Reader. For thinking of me."

"I always do."

Oh  _ yikes _ uh-

"I have something to share with you as well, actually!" he reached into his robes, “You had mentioned giving Ritsu a wider worldview.” he held up a-

“Is that a Go Pro?”

“Close.” he chuckled, “I’ve been working on a few modifications. This one is waterproof and support’s Ritsu’s OS. She should be able to observe and collect data from it.”

“So, she can go swimming with Megu.” you grinned.

He nodded, “And there’s another project I have in mind for her. A drone.”

You stared at him, how the hell had you not thought of that? “Oh my god?! Oh my god, she will be _ so excited! _ ” 

You were overjoyed. Ritsu had been so earnest about wanting to learn and this was just…

It was wonderful.

You hugged him, laughing, "I love you, you stupid octopus!"

His grin widened and eyes narrowed, green stripes appearing in slashes across his face, "Oh? Do you now?~"

His tone was teasing, playful, you'd joked around like this before but…

But today...

You withdrew a bit, feeling your face heat up, anticipation knotted in your stomach. The green rings abruptly faded. He was staring at you intently.

You couldn't meet his eyes. It was too much, his expression was too serious (for him anyway). You looked down and laughed a bit, "I mean…"

There was a pause, you couldn't force anything out. 

_ Shit _ . 

You had just broken _ every _ rule…

_ Keep it to yourself, don’t get your hopes up, and say nothing.  _

How could you explain thi-

A hand came to rest on your shoulder, "Reader… we should talk."

Ohhhh boy. This sounded  _ Not Great _ . His tone was low and serious, a far cry from the playful humor of a moment before.

_ You never should have opened your mouth. _

_ Say. Nothing. _

Why couldn't you follow your own rules?

He steered you to the couch where you both sat. You felt sick. You'd gone too far. Been too excited. Been too much.

Story of your life really.

You could feel him looking at you. When he spoke there was something to his tone, almost faltering.

"Reader… you’ve mentioned… before… that you've had bad experiences in the past."

You didn’t look at him. If you did you were going to cry. You focused on your hands in your lap.

“From what you've said, it sounds like many people in your life have let you down.” A tentacle reached out, brushing your cheek, “And you feel left behind to pick up the pieces.”

The tears welled up as he repeated your words back to you. You tried not to think about that. The way people always seemed to leave you, slip away, vanish…

You were too much or too little for them. They would drift away or abandon you, leave you hanging in the middle of the conversation that you thought was your friendship. 

_ And it was about to happen again.  _

You felt sick...

His fingers tipped your head up and your face burned with embarrassment, tears slipping down your cheeks. You  _ hated _ people seeing you cry.

“The world will end in March or I will be dead.  _ I'll _ be leaving you too. Are you certain you can handle that?”

A sob came out of you and you looked back down, bringing a hand up to scrub at your face.

“As I thought..” his voice sounded regretful, almost heartbroken, “I'm sorry. I can't put you through that if-”

You couldn’t- 

You threw your arms around him. He faltered, a tentacle coming to rest on your back.

“I don't care.” The robes muffled your speech, but you pressed on,  _ “I’ll never meet another person like you.” _

The tentacle around you cinched tighter, pulling you close. There was a sharp intake of breath.

You were sobbing. This wasn't a delicate cry, the shedding of a few tears, you were outright bawling. You didn't realize how much you'd held this in. You struggled to get the words out, “So  _ I don't care. _ If I don't  _ try _ what's the point? If I don't try I'll regret it for the rest of my life  _ even if _ that just means until March. I know it doesn’t make sense… I just...” you gave a small bitter laugh, “Doesn’t really matter if you don’t...” your throat closed and you couldn't get anything else out.

Tentacles embraced you gently and a hand stroked your hair. When he spoke there was a tenderness to his voice, almost as if…

“I see.”

You looked up to see tears…

But not yours.

_ His. _

What-

A tissue was offered, you accepted it. He bundled you close to him.

“Perhaps I did you a disservice in trying to spare your feelings.” He sounded… what was that sound… 

Something wavering… 

Unsure…

There was something in the tone that was familiar...

A hand reached down, clasping one of yours.

“I  _ do _ return the sentiment, Reader.”

You were still crying, your chest was tight, and hearing that made your stomach seize. You were going to throw up from emotional whiplash at this rate.

You’d really rather not. Doing that in front of him once was more than enough.

“What?” your voice was thick with emotion and tears. You hated the sound of it.

“I have feelings for you as well.” his tone was softer than usual, hushed almost. Gentle.

What?

You looked up at him just a touch, just enough to see a glimpse of his face. His expression was, as always, a smile. But he was also using a tissue now, dabbing at his eyes lightly. Your heart ached. Had you ever seen him cry in a way that wasn’t over dramatic and ridiculous?

You couldn’t recall.

He took a breath, putting the tissue away. A hand came up, cupping your cheek.

Your heart was about to explode.

“The flirtation was  _ delightful _ but I was concerned that perhaps it would interfere with the classroom or with the assassination. It also seemed an unkind gesture to you to become involved with someone you are certain to lose…” there was something painful hidden in that statement. But the pain in question wasn't yours.

You thought of her.

“Sure you're not just saying that because I'm crying?” Your joke sounded flat to your own ears, your fear outweighing the light-heartedness you were trying to convey.

“ _ Absolutely not. _ ” His tone rang with sincerity, and he squeezed your hand gently, “Loss is  _ painful _ , Reader. Already I know my students' will lose their teacher. I… I did not want to extend that pain to others if I could help it. But you have made a good point. As Tennyson said, ‘'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’” his tone brightened, his smile returning to its usual grin, “If this is a feeling you wish to pursue then I would be  _ happy _ to be your target.”

Back to assassination  _ as always _ . You couldn't help the small smile that it brought to your face. You scrubbed at your face with the tissue, trying to make yourself at least  _ feel _ more presentable.

“I'm sorry… it's just…” you looked down, not sure how to continue.

This was a LOT right now and you were still trying to sort it out.

You took a breath, steadying yourself. “It's hard to believe that you feel the same way. You’re amazing and I’m just me... ” you gave a shrug, “Nothing special.”

He looked down at you, a tentacle looping gently around your shoulders. His laugh was gentle as he responded, “Au contraire, you, Reader, are  _ exceptional _ .”

You leaned your head against his chest and watched as the tentacle over your shoulder turned a bright, happy pink. There was a fluttering in your chest.  _ Pink. _

“In fact, I only know  _ one other _ who was your equal...”

Oh…

_ Oh. _

It was high and unexpected praise that filled your heart with a bittersweet sort of joy.

You smiled into his chest and reached up, lacing your fingers through his. The pink got  _ exceptionally  _ brighter. You couldn't stop smiling.

"....you're  _ sure _ it's not because I'm crying?" it came out much more humorous this time.

He nuzzled you, chuckling with barely restrained mirth. "Reader, I've had feelings for you for  _ quite _ some time now. I  _ thought  _ you would have  _ noticed _ ."

You felt your blush rising up again.

_ What?! _

You looked up at him.

"I admit… I could have been  _ a bit  _ more forward but after your concerns about Irina, but I thought it might be best to tread lightly with you. I didn't want to risk a misunderstanding."

You stared at him, processing. This was all a lot to handle and your brain was trying to play catch-up.

He seemed slightly unnerved by the stare but carried on, “I thought you would realize at some point. I… well, I realized after midterms. It caught me by surprise. I'm not quite sure  _ how _ it happened… but I suppose that  _ is _ the nature of these things, isn’t it?” he chuckled, scratching at his head lightly, “It must have been over those lunch hours we spent together."

"So, I bought you off with bamboo cookies." you joked.

" _ Reader… _ " his tone dipped and you could hear a trace of worry, “You don’t need to belittle yourself...”

"I'm sorry." You made a face. Most people didn’t call you on that kind of humor, "I'm… really not used to things like this going… like this."

“Going well, you mean?”

You gave the smallest of nods. 

"Humor can be an excellent way to handle tension but  _ please _ , don't downplay your importance to me."

You felt every hair stand on end and your face heating up.  _ Importance? To him? _

"I  _ enjoy _ your company, Reader. I appreciate your kindness and your efforts to adapt to our very unconventional little classroom despite it going against your basic beliefs. You have always put our students first, sometimes to your own detriment…" he gently touched the light scar on your chin, "Commendable but sometimes foolish." He gave a small chuckle. "You are a credit to your field and a treasure in our classroom. One of the many reasons I'm delighted to teach every day is because I get to do so  _ alongside you _ ."

_ Self destruct in three… two… one… _

You buried your face in your hands. It was way too much praise and you could feel your face trying to suck every ounce of blood from your body. You squeaked, trying to get your  _ everything _ to relax.

" _ Nurufufufu~ _ "

That goddamn laugh.

"Why,  _ Reader! _ I'm  _ shocked _ . Do you  _ possibly _ have trouble with compliments?"

Oh god, he was  _ never _ going to let you live this down.

"Should I also tell you how _ attractive  _ I find yo-"

You put a hand over his mouth with a warning glare, "You are  _ killing _ me."

He laughed again, going very pink, a tendril brushing your cheek, "You're especially cute when you blush."

"Look who's talking."

He simply grinned wider. You felt like your face might break if you smiled any harder. He pulled you into a hug, his sleeves enveloped you, and his forehead pressed gently to yours.

_ Old books and summer rain... _

After a few moments, he pulled away, still pink, still grinning, "I'm glad that you told me. Even if it was unintentional."

"I am too…." You sighed, "I… well I didn't…" you steadied yourself, "I hadn't intended on telling you at all."

"Because?"

"Rejection, you're still getting over someone, the assassination, dying of embarrassment…" you leaned against his side, "Take your pick, there's  _ tons _ to choose from."

"I notice that list distinctly lacks my looks." He chuckled.

"I like how you look." You felt embarrassed to admit it, especially directly like this, "You're…" you tried to think of how to phrase it, "You're warm… friendly… there's something comfortable about you." You hesitated a moment, considering if you should say the next part. "And I like your tentacles..."

You took one of the said appendages in hand gently, "That might sound strange but I don't know… it's nice when you hug me. They’re lovely..."

You glanced up at him and found his expression soft, pink tinging his cheeks. He wrapped you in the tentacles gently, pulling you close. You held him tightly, feelings bubbling up in your chest. You spoke before you could think to stop yourself, "I love you."

His voice was quiet near your ear, "And I you, Reader."

You wanted to scream. Your feelings were  _ so much _ right now. Instead, you found yourself laughing. The combination of relief and happiness sending you into peals of laughter. He chuckled and held you close to his chest.

"Reader?"

You were laughing to the point of crying, " _ I'm in love with an octopus! _ "

He laughed, "You are."

Nothing else mattered except right now.

And right now you were loved by an octopus. A stupid, hilarious, lovely, ridiculous octopus.

Right now was  _ perfect _ .

When you’d finally calmed down you found yourself leaning against his side on the couch, his arm around you.

“...We probably shouldn’t tell anyone, huh?”

“Unfortunate but… probably for the best.” he agreed quietly.

“I think I’m okay with that.”

What you had felt here… fragile and new… even if you’d been living with it for months now. He’d been living with it for longer apparently…

You took his hand gently, squeezing it. You noticed he’d gone pink just from that.

Adorable.

…

Wait a minute…

Jeez, he really  _ had _ been blushing all those times.

You laughed to yourself, “God, I’m such an idiot...”

“What?” he looked at you in surprise, clearly ready to protest, “Reader what do-”

“ _ I thought you were just playing around. _ ” you looked up at him.

“...Nani?”

You laughed, rubbing your face, “Like… tonight… at the farm. When you were talking about lavender and healing and beautiful things...”

He went a pink at the reminder. 

_ Oh my god?? _

“I’ve been thinking you were joking around or just… being nice...”

He stared at you for a long moment, “You are apparently as dense as Karasuma. Noted.”

You laughed and gave him a little shove, “Oh come on. And you knew?”

“Er… ah… well, yes...” he’d gone a much, much brighter shade of pink, “I had confirmed it.”

“...” you looked up at him, eyes going wide. “Did you actually find my diary?”

He waved his hands in protest. “NO No! Nothing like that I-” he suddenly seemed sheepish, “I could ah… well, I could smell it.”

OH.

You buried your face in your hands, “Oh my GOD!”

“I told you I candeterminethingsaboutpeoplebytheirscentits-” when you looked up, he also had his face in his hands. You laughed a bit. You hadn’t quite expected him to be so…

You were used to him being cocky and self-assured most of the time. You’d thought him being flustered was just his dramatics but…

Maybe it was genuine.

"Um… when we were in Kyoto you told Karasuma that you'd had romantic encounters.” you spoke gently, “So… why is all of this so…  _ much _ for you?"

He laughed just slightly. "Well… things have changed for me  _ significantly _ since then…" he raised a tentacle to illustrate, "not only my body of course but my mind as well in many ways. And… this is different. I was human then, an assassin, dalliances were, of course, part of my work and life…"

You stared at him. He  _ hadn’t _ lied about being an assassin then. "But…"

He looked back at you. There was something in his expression. That lack of amusement in his grin, "It does certainly put a strain on a relationship if you have to kill them. Even for ones I didn't have to kill, there was…"

"A constant threat." 

He nodded, "As an assassin, one must suspect  _ everyone _ ."

Everyone…

Moments from the past few months came to mind in a rush and you remembered every time you’d held the handle of those knives. You hugged him tightly.

He made a small sound of surprise, pulling you closer.

You sat back, staring at him, "Is  _ that _ what the knives were for?"

Pink tinged his cheeks, "I thought, perhaps, a direct test was in order…"

You laughed. You? He’d suspected YOU?

"You thought I was an assassin? Why?"

His voice was quiet when he replied, with a note of seriousness you hadn’t expected. "Medical training. A new face. And you have killed someone before."

He…

Your heart dropped to your stomach.

Where had he found that out?

How on Earth…

You faltered, trying to find words to force past your shocked tongue, "What do you know about that?"

"Nothing.” His tone was still soft, genuine, “But when you've killed for a living for as long as I have, it's not hard to hear it in a person's tone."

You felt your hands shaking. He reached out, touching one of them, “Reader...”

You felt the weight you carried. 

You looked up at him, "She was my best friend."

He sat silently, listening.

"She needed help. She… she wasn't well…"

The hand touching yours clasped it gently. You squeezed it in return.

How long had it been since you told someone this story?

"She called me and told me she needed help and when I got there she was hanging…" 

You closed your eyes, breathing slowly. You remembered the weight. The fear. Talking to her. Talking to her. Promising her you would help…

You’d been young. You hadn’t known what to do...

"I held her up until the paramedics came. But I was too late."

"Reader…"

"If I had come faster she might have made it." you looked back up at him, "So I made that my job."

There was a softening to his expression, blue tinging his face.

"I should have been there." you whispered, "I knew something was wrong and I wasn’t there."

He reached out and pulled you in close. You found yourself cradled to his chest.

_ Old books and summer rain… _

You felt tears for the second time tonight.

"Reader… I understand that you feel this way, but preventable or not, the fault does not lie with you. It doesn't lie with anyone…"

You sighed and the weight seemed to melt away… if just for a moment.

"I know. But that doesn't stop…"

"The feeling?"

You nodded and felt a light touch on the back of your neck…

Where you had your tattoo. "Is that who this is for?"

Your hands tightened on the front of his robes, chest seizing. Better to get it out in the open now. Better that he knows.

"It's for both of us. After it happened I… I didn't handle it well. I thought I deserved it. But… I got help."

You straightened up, pulling away. 

"I got help and I'm better now.” you squared up your shoulders, looking at him, “It's… it's hard to talk about but it's something that happened."

He leaned in again, touching his forehead to yours, “I am very glad of that.”

You found yourself wrapped in his arms again and accepted it, laying your head against his chest. The two of you stayed like that for several minutes. It was... peaceful. It reminded you of that morning by the pool, holding his hand.

God…

You really had been as dense of Karasuma, huh?

You laughed a bit and sat back, smiling at him, “So… What now?”

“Nue?” he looked at you.

“What… well… what is this?”

He chuckled a bit, green stripes decorating his face, “I thought we’d _ just _ cleared this up. Reader, clearly we have a mutual affection for one anot-”

You laughed and shook your head, “I mean...”

What did you mean?

What were you asking for here?

It… it probably couldn’t be a forever given the situation.

What were you going to ask? For the octopus to go steady with you?

He chuckled, “If it’s what you want then I suppose...” he went a bit pink, “that it is a relationship.”

“Okay, but what do you want?” you looked at him, a little alarmed by his wording.

He answered gently, but he looked like he was having a complete meltdown from the shade of pink he’d gone, “You.”

“Hold… hold that thought.” you grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and buried your face in it, screaming.

He laughed.

With that out of your system, you laughed too, nodding, “Then yes. I want a relationship.”

You felt like an idiot sitting here grinning at him like this but god… you’d never felt lighter.

“It’s late.” he chuckled, “And I have a big day tomorrow.”

“Oh?” you looked at him in surprise.

“A project for Hinano.”

“At the school?”

He gave an almost reluctant nod.

“Well maybe I’ll swing by and say hello,” you smirked.

He chuckled, standing, “I’d like that.”

You rose as well, seeing him out to the balcony, “Hey.”

He looked down at you.

“You ARE going to sleep right?”

He laughed, “I promise, Reader. I will. ‘Til tomorrow then?”

You grinned and nodded, hugging him one last time before he took off from the balcony.

When you were sure he was gone you went inside, collapsed on the couch, and screamed into the pillow again.

You had a feeling there was going to be a LOT of that for a while.


	54. Tit Mountain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

The next morning when you woke up, you found yourself staring at the ceiling again. Man, yesterday had been a trip-

Wait…

You sat up.

Had… hold on had that happened?

Was that a dream?

Shit…

You weren’t sure.

You'd gone to Tomita but…Had all of that after actually happened?

You reached over, picking up your phone. There were notifications…

From last night apparently, after you'd fallen asleep...

[Reader? Are you still awake?]

[I will take that to mean no.]

[I wanted to tell you Goodnight.] 

[Love you. ♥️ ]

You stared at your phone.

Thathadhappened.

Ohgodthathadhappened???

He loved you.

He LOVED you.

You found yourself screaming into your pillow again.

You began to remember last night in much clearer detail.

_ "If this is a feeling you wish to pursue then I would be happy to be your target." _

Oh...

You picked up your pillow, clutching it to your chest. With a huge grin, you replied to the text messages.

[Sorry, last night kinda wiped me out. I crashed pretty hard.]

[Love you too. (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡ ]

So much had happened in the span of a few hours last night...

You took a look in the mirror and realized something…

Your eyebrow was finally done healing.

You got up and grabbed clothes to prepare for a shower.

It was a  _ great _ day.

You made your way up the mountain at a brisk jog. This was getting easier and easier with the drills you’d been running. As you crested the top of the hill you nearly ran into a familiar pig-tailed boy.

“Whoa!” you stopped short and he whirled around. For half a second you saw his eyes flash intensely, the box in his hands at the ready for an improvised weapon.

“Sorry!” you took a step back, “Didn’t realize you’d be here today. Are you helping Hinano with her project?”

“Huh? What project?” Sugino leaned around Nagisa.

“No idea. Korosensei mentioned he was going to help her with a project up here today.”

There was the sound of feet on the path behind you and you turned to see Maehara approaching, “Hey, Doc!” he gave a grin, “You up here to bug hunt too?”

“Bug hunting? Is that what you guys are doing?”

Sugino rubbed at the back of his neck, looking a touch embarrassed, “Yeah.”

You fell in step with the boys, heading towards the woods.

“I don’t really want everyone to see me out catching bugs at my age. I’m a city boy but I’ve always wanted to try it.” He paused, “Oh hey here it is!”

He’d led the three of you to a tree that was leaking sap. Several insects had been drawn to it and hung out in clusters along the bark. You leaned in, taking a look.

“Karma showed me this tree a few weeks ago after school. Said there had been a lot of bugs hanging around on it.” Sugino delicately picked up a stag beetle from the tree, “That being said, I didn’t actually expect you to show, Maehara. Never pegged you as an insect fan.”

Maehara looked like he had something on his mind besides insects. “I figured, what the heck? I mean our next assassination attempt is going to be in Okinawa, right? We don’t wanna be unprepared. Think about it my friend, what’s the one thing we’ll need the most?”

“BBs?” Sugino offered

You gave a shrug, “Sunscreen?”

“Uh… I guess pool gear?” Nagisa looked at him, “The plan does involve a lot of swimming...”

Maehara looked at the three of you like you were idiots, “Money!”

He looked to the other boys, excited. “We are going to be surrounded by bikini-clad babes to get their attention! You need buying power! Now,” he leaned in, looking at the bug in Sugino’s hands, “That little runt there ain’t worth much, but… we track down a giant stag beetle? Those babies’ll net your tens of thousands of yen! Seriously, have you seen what they go for online? You can make a fortune! Or at least enough money for a nice dinner and a hotel ro-” he looked at you and back at the boys. “A place to hang!”

With that, he ran deeper into the woods. The other two boys looked at one another and sighed. Sugino spoke first, “I get the feeling he’s not real focused on what the trip is supposed to be about.”

“Yeah… Not exactly a fifteen-year-old’s vacation plans...” Nagisa shook his head.

“He’s… certainly got a goal.” working with teenagers was… it sure was something sometimes.

“That’s won’t work! Giant stag beetles are pretty old news!”

You hadn’t even seen Hinano perched in the trees. She gave a grin, “Morning! Trying to scrape up some pocket money for the trip too, huh?”

“Kurahashi… What do you mean stag beetles are old news?” Sugino asked.

“Well...” she slid down from the tree carefully, “I guess they were super pricey right around when we were born, but today’s artificial breeding methods have saturated the market, so their prices have gone way down.”

“The Great Stag Beetle Crash was for real?!” Maehara looked stricken, “I thought the ratio of beetles to babes would be one to one.”

She laughed, “No way. Girls have always been more expensive than that!”

Sugino tucked his hands behind his head, looking at her contemplatively, “You sure know a lot about this, Kurahashi. You like bugs?”

“I like all living things.” she grinned, “Hey, since we’re all here, let’s go bug hunting together! It always works best with a group!”

“Hey, we never asked, what are you doing out here, Mx. Reader?” Nagisa looked over to you, “I mean… school’s out and everything...”

You shrugged, “The track isn’t a bad place to run and it’s nice and secluded up here.”

“Are you going to help us hunt for bugs?” Hinano’s grin was huge, it was clear this was something she was passionate about.

“I think I can find the time for that,” you smirked.

“Oh, hey, what’s the project Korosensei is helping you with?” Sugino asked, looking over at her.

“Oh! That’s why I’m up here.” she grinned, “I’ve been on the hunt for some special insects. He promised he’d keep an eye out for me.”

Well, that was just adorable.

“Come on! I’ve got a lot of traps set around here. We should be able to find some good specimens!” She lead the way and you followed with the gaggle of boys.

“So… a hotel room?” you looked over at Maehara.

The boy tensed, making a face, “I mean-”

“Last I checked… you kids were going to have hotel rooms.” you continued giving him a look.

“Well yeah, but that’s with everybody...” he had gone red in the face.

You chuckled, “Pretty sure even if you did get the cash together, Karasuma would shut that down real fast, Lover Boy.”

He sighed, “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“Hey! Over here!” Hinano had stopped under a tree where a sack of some kind hung from a branch. It was crawling with beetles, “Not a bad haul if I do say so myself.”

“That’s pretty cool.” Sugino rocked back on his heels, looking up at the trap, “You made this?”

“Yeah. I put them out last night. It’s shochu mixed with bananas and pineapples. Let those babies ferment for a few days and bugs will be all over it!” she grinned, “I’ve got about twenty set right now, so if we’re lucky we should be able to make about ten thousand yen each from the lot.”

“Not too shabby for a side job!” Sugino rubbed at his chin, “Maybe I should have taken this up sooner...”

“I just hope we caught the one I’ve been looking for.” Hinano grinned.

“Nice trap for a bunch of amateurs. And you call yourselves assassins.”

You looked up, spotting Okajima. What  _ was _ it with these kids hanging out in trees?

“Hey, if you’re happy pulling in ten thousand yen, that’s your deal. Just try not to get jealous when my homemade trap brings in a cool ten billion!”

“Ten billion?” Nagisa watched as the boy jumped down from the branch, “Wait, do you mean…?”

“Exactly!” the boy looked over at the others, “Korosensei knows we’re planning to assassinate him when we get to Okinawa. So he’ll have his guard down in the meantime. And that is where my plan comes in. Check out  _ my _ beetle trap!”

Okajima lead your group to the edge of a clearing and-

You put your head in your hands.

THIS was where you had chosen to lay your affections.

The darling octopus that you had so tenderly confessed to last night was sitting on his… knees? Would you call those knees? Anyway, he was sitting on a pile of pornographic magazines, completely engrossed in one.

Dressed in what looked like a rhinoceros beetle cosplay.

Honestly. No wonder the government had such a high price on his head.

The absolute  _ embarrassment _ it must be to know that you couldn’t kill this guy was probably the worst national secret imaginable. If that got out, how could any nation take you seriously?

What kind of year was this?

You were sitting in the woods behind some bushes with a bunch of fifteen-year-olds watching an octopus read smut.

“Oh he fell for it.” Okajima grinned back at the lot of you, “The best way to bait Korosensei is with porn!”

The other kids looked rather uncomfortable with the whole scenario. Probably for a variety of reasons that definitely weren’t your own.

“Wow.” Maehara said quietly, “You know for a guy that moves at Mach 20 he’s going awfully slow right now.”

“Look at him. He’s completely riveted. That one must be right up his alley…” Sugino looked over to Okajima.

“K-Cup Fan.” Okajima nodded, “Focuses on K cup sized ladies.”

You snorted and the kids looked back at you.

“Sorry, that just makes me think of those coffee machines. The little single-use packs are called K Cup.”

Okajima smirked. The other kids just  _ stared _ at you. Well, at least you hadn’t been the only one who found it funny.

“Okay, so what’s with the rhino beetle get up?” Maehara asked.

Sugino nodded, “Is he trying to blend in? The tentacles kind of give it away…”

“Camouflage I guess.” Okajima shrugged, “He’s always in some sort of bug costume out here… thought it might be a kink but he didn’t seem interested in the books I put out with similar themes.”

“Similar… themes?” you looked at him.

He nodded, not elaborating.

There was bug cosplay porn?

Where had Okajima LOCATED bug cosplay porn?

“Okay, so…” you looked over at him, “You just… put a pile of porn in the woods to distract him?”

The boy shook his head, grinning.

Oh boy.

“Every mountain has one: A smut repository.” he spoke about this with a certain reverence, “When you find it your eyes are opened for the first time. The kids who find their dreams there grow old enough to buy their own magazines and then leave behind dreams for someone else to find. It’s a place of never-ending dreams. Part of the glorious circle of life!” he looked over at his classmates, “I’m glad you’re here! You can lend me a hand with this! Let’s use the power of porn to turn Korosensei’s dream into a nightmare he’ll never wake up from!”

“Porn power...” You pinched the bridge of your nose.

This was  _ not _ the job you had signed up for.

“You’d be so proud of me,” Okajima looked back at Nagisa, “I did some major research into his top turn-ons, y’know? I’m too young to buy the stuff but where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way?

“...How?” you asked.

Okajima answered with a shrug, “Found ‘em mostly. People toss them out all the time. And there’s always a few older dudes in the neighborhood willing to buy a couple for a guy if he’s got the cash.”

You sighed, “We might need to have a talk about that later…”

Your statement went ignored.

“Wouldn’t just about anything with big boobs do the trick?” Nagisa piped up.

Okajima laughed, “In real life, yeah. But there’s way more to it than that!” he pulled up his phone, flicking through a gallery of photos. Each was a shot of the octopus reading through various porn magazines in a variety of insect outfits. Oh, you were going to have to ask Okajima for a copy of these later. They were hilarious.

Not to mention good blackmail.

Not to mention good research.

Yeah…

Research.

“Porn’s what dreams are made of.” Okajima continued, “Every dream is different so everyone searches for their ideal in them. Photos, manga, the hardcore stuff they sell in black plastic bags… The tiniest difference gets a whole ‘nother response.”

He was right, of course. You knew that first hand from your own collection of stories. Not everything was racy per se, but you’d had your own experiences with coming across content that was Not Your Thing.

“That’s amazing, Okajima. So for the last month, you’ve been swapping out the magazines and gathering details on his tastes?” Nagisa was flipping through the images in surprise.

Sugino sighed, “No grown-up ought to be picking up a month’s worth of porn mags! Not to mention ones from some underage kid’s stash. That’s just sad.”

Maehara nodded, “What a cheapskate, couldn’t he just buy them himself?”

“I’m a little more alarmed about the fact that Okajima knows where to  _ find _ a month’s worth of pornography.” You gave the boy a look.

Okajima just grinned.

Yeah, you definitely were having a talk with this kid later.

He turned to Hinano, “It’s just like your traps, Kurahashi. We’ve got a lot in common when it comes to hunting. We both get so absorbed in our prey we end up knowing exactly what makes ‘em tick. And our traps work the same way. You put in research to make a trap that keeps your prey busy.”

“Uh...huh…” Hinano didn’t sound convinced.

“I’ve got a dirty mind. I don’t care if people look down on me for that. But it served me well in pursuit of my goal.” he reached down, picking up a magazine half-buried in the leaves, a rubber knife being used as a bookmark, “It’s because I’m a self-aware, first-class perv that I know the truth: In the end… pornography will save the world.” he drew out the knife, “Check it out. Under that glorious stack of filth is a net strung with anti-sensei bbs! He’s deep in that book now- we can nab him for sure! When I give the word ones of you cut the rope! I’ll jump in there and finish him off!”

You… definitely had your doubts about this one working. It certainly was… uh… creative though. You leaned against a tree, watching as-

What?

_ WHAT?! _

Korosensei’s eyes had extended from his face on stalks with a shrill sound.

Maybe he wasn’t an octopus. Maybe he was a  _ slug _ .

You were in love with a slug.

Today was getting weirder by the minute.

The kids seemed just as lost as you were.

Sugino and Maehara had their heads together, “Um, what’s he doing?”

“Why did his eyes go all “dweee”?”

Okajima had gone a touch pale. “I’ve never seen him do that before! What kind of porn has  _ that _ effect on him?”

You heard a familiar chuckle, “Thought you could hide from me?”

For half a second, you thought he was talking about your group until one of his arms lashed out, snagging something from a nearby tree, “A Miyama Stag Beetle. Just look at those eyes!”

You heard a gasp from the bushes and watched as Hinano ran over, “Are they white, Korosensei?!”

Korosensei looked up and held the insect out for her to inspect, “Ah! Hello, Kurahashi! You are correct! Impressive specimen, eh?”

“Wow! Just what I was looking for!” the girl leaned in, admiring it.

“I know right?! You were right, there was one living on this mountain after all!” he sounded just as delighted as she was. “Imagine it being in our own backyard! “

The two were now jumping up and down on the pile of magazines chanting about bugs.

This was… this was one hell of a morning.

You heard the sound of bitter defeat in Okajima's voice, “Come on! Another second and we would’ve had ‘im!”

“I don’t know what they’re so happy about, but a giant rhinoceros beetle and a junior-high girl jumping around on a heap of porn mags? That's one  _ hell  _ of a sight.” Maehara spoke a touch too loudly and Korosensei faltered, staring towards the rest of your group.

You locked eyes with him and couldn’t help it. You gave him the evilest grin you could muster. He  _ shrieked _ .

You laughed and joined the kids in approaching him. He sank to his… knees? -You were still working that out- on the porn pile, burying his face in his hands. He was a neon pink at this point.

“How unbelievably embarrassing! I’m mortified  _ beyond belief! _ Shame on me. A molder of young minds ought to be above this sort of behavior. I’m a  _ failure _ as a teacher! I knew there was a trap under all this porn, but with each magazine more and more to my taste than the last, I couldn't resist!”

Hinano was completely not paying attention, her focus was on the stag beetle roaming around Korosensei’s head.

“So what's the big deal, Kurahashi?” Sugino asked, “That's a Miyama stag beetle, right? In games and stuff, they sell for way less than a giant stag. Didn’t you say artificial breeding tanked the market?”

“This is a Miyama stag, not a Giant stag.” Hinano grinned over at him, clearly in her element, “Miyamas have been going for a good price lately on account of being very hard to breed. One this size could fetch twenty thousand yen!”

“Twenty thousand?!” Sugino’s jaw dropped.

“Also, observe the color of its eyes. Usually, they’re black. These, however, white as the driven snow. We’ve discussed albinism before, correct?” Korosensei looked to Sugino.

Sugino nodded, “Oh, yeah, like the super-rare creatures are born pure white? They don’t have pigment so their whole body is just white.”

“Yes. But not necessarily their  _ whole _ body.” Korosensei held up the beetle to display it more clearly, “With stag beetles albinism is only displayed in the eyes. A natural-born Miyama white-eye, as they're known, is extremely rare. Why this has great research value too. You could  _ easily _ sell this guy for hundreds of thousands of yen.”

The boys were shocked.

“HUNDREDS?” Maehara shouted.

Hinano accepted the beetle, holding it delicately, “I told Korosensei a while back I wanted to see one just once, and he said he'd use his zoom eyes to find one for me!”

Korosensei demonstrated his zoom eyes, popping them in and out.

Again,  _ this _ was where you had laid your affections. 

“Okie-dokie, boys. Which one of your rejects wants this baby?” Hinano grinned at the boys, waving the bug before them.

The boys were clamoring for it already.

“Ha! You’ll have to catch me first!” she took off into the woods.

“I BEG YOUR PARDON! _ I’VE _ ALREADY DONE MY CATCHING!” Korosensei called after her.

The boys bolted after her and you laughed, shaking your head. Then, you turned your attention to the octopus.

It was just the two of you in the clearing now.

He’d gone a bright pink again.

“So… a special project for Hinano huh?” you pointedly looked down at the pile of porn he was sitting on.

He flailed his tentacles in protest, “In my defense-”

You picked up the magazine you’d seen him holding earlier and rolled it up, bopping him lightly on the head with it, “You don’t  _ have _ one.”

He froze, looking up at you.

This was  _ priceless _ .

“I mean, do you really need one?” you unrolled the magazine, flipping through it, amused, “You’ve seen what I have on  _ my _ shelves. I think this is only _ fair _ ...”

At this point, he was freaking out. You grinned. Given how much he had teased you about things, you knew you were  _ never _ going to let him live  _ this _ down.

You flipped through the magazine, it was what you expected really. Lots of girls with their breasts practically spilling out of bras… when they were wearing one, that is. You held it up for the centerfold to unfurl, “So,  _ these _ are what you’re always looking at in class huh?” he gave a shriek and you laughed, “What? Is this what gets your tentacles  _ quivering? _ ”

“Reader, _ PLEASE! _ ” he covered his face.

You chuckled and took pity, folding the magazine back up. Carefully, you looked off into the woods, the kids were still… somewhere off in the trees.

Gently, you moved one of his hands aside. His face was a deep pink and you could feel the heat coming off of it.

“Relax.” you offered him the magazine, “You  _ did _ say you were a man of many vices, it’s not like this is a surprise.”

He accepted it awkwardly, clearly still flustered, “Ah…”

You gave his hand a little squeeze before letting it go, “It’s also not like I haven’t, you know, seen you with these things a million times in the school.”

“Be that as it may...” he rose to his feet, “It’s still unbecoming of me.”

You laughed, “Have you seen your students? They’re possibly worse than you. Maehara seems convinced he’s going to get a private hotel room on the island for ‘reasons’.” you sighed, “I’m going to have to talk to them about that before the trip...”

“Ah… yes...” he looked at you, something in his tone echoed concern, “I need to speak with you about that.”

“Yeah?”

He gave a nod, “It’s not ideal timing, but I’ll be leaving over the next week... ”

Oh…

That was right…

“Everest.”

He nodded, “I’m sorry that it’s so soon…”

It was unspoken but you understood what he meant.

You wanted to spend time with him too…

“They got cell service on Everest?” you smirked.

“Yes, actually.” he chuckled.

You gave a little shrug, “Good, so you can text me then.”

He looked relieved, “That, I can do.”

The two of you shared a look and you couldn’t help it, you broke into what felt like the stupidest, cheesiest smile. He was pink again.

“Tell ya’ what, I’ll sell it and because I’m so nice I’ll split the cash with you boys. How does that sound?” Hinano sounded triumphant, strolling back into the clearing with the beetle on her shirt. The boys were winded, Okajima was soaked.

“What happened to you?” you looked over at him.

“Fell in the stream.” he huffed.

“Oh!” Korosensei zipped off and was back in half a second, tendrils full of…

Ice pops. Those were ice pops. He quickly offered them to the children, “Please just  _ don’t _ tell your classmates about today, alright?!”

Nagisa laughed and accepted one, “Sure, Korosensei.”

“I think we can do that,” Maehara smirked, taking his and opening it.

He offered one to you, “And please, don’t breathe  _ a word _ of this to Irina and Karasuma.”

You laughed and accepted it, “I guess...”

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thanks again, Korosensei!” Hinano grinned, tucking the stag beetle carefully into the bug box Nagisa was carrying, “We’re going to check the rest of the traps!”

“Of course! Happy hunting!~”

“You coming with, Mx. Reader?” Sugino looked back at you.

You opened your ice pop, “I think I’ve seen more than enough bugs for the day.” you gave a pointed look at the octopus and Nagisa and the others chuckled, “Besides, I did want to get a lap or two in on the track. But let me know what you catch!”

“‘Kay!” Hinano bounded away, the boys following her.

“So, you camped out on Tit Mountain for the day then?” you sucked idly on your popsicle.

“Reader!” he yelped.

You laughed, shaking your head.

“No! I am not staying here for the day!” he sounded alarmed, “But if you wouldn’t mind company...”

“I mean if you don’t mind watching me run a few laps...”

He chuckled and green stripes appeared on his face, “Why would I pass that up? Watching you during drills is quite entertaining!”

HA, OKAY.

You stuffed the popsicle in your mouth to cover your embarrassment and waved him along. He followed after you as you made your way to the track. As you walked you noticed he kept glancing your way. You felt a bit self-conscious, ice cream was messy at the best of times and these were always the worst…

Or maybe…

“Hey did you want a taste?” you held it out to him.

He’d gone a bright pink,  "Oh no no. It's perfectly fine."

You paused and looked at him skeptically.

Okay, there was  _ no way _ this was what was up with him but...

With a long, slow drag you took the popsicle into your mouth, looking at him. You could see the tiniest of shudders. 

Oh.

_ OH. _

You felt your face heat up dramatically and pointedly turned your attention elsewhere. He did the same.

Wow uh…

That only raised about a  _ million more questions _ .

Then again, that seemed to be the trend of the day…

You took a few laps on the track as he watched, occasionally throwing out tips. It was… interesting. Eventually, the kids joined you and showed off their haul. They’d acquired a jar alongside their box and had a variety of beautiful beetles. Hinano eagerly told you the names and genus of each, where they’d caught them, and how much they usually sold for. She was in her element, eyes bright and excited.

The boys were, predictably, more excited about the money than the bugs. The lot of you took some photos and generally… it was a nice little summer afternoon.

_ What you wouldn’t give for more moments like this... _


	55. Unpack Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustrations to come!  
> [Korosensei's POV is here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49454777).

It wasn't quite a date. There was no formal invitation, no planning ahead, no fancy dress. He'd simply offered to walk you home as evening approached instead of you going alone. The children had left already with their haul of insects and it was just the two of you. He'd mentioned, offhand, that he could easily get you home faster but,  _ 'it's such a lovely evening...it would be a shame to waste it'.  _

So here you were, walking along one of the more out of the way trails towards home with him beside you. The sun was going down, slowly moving towards the crest of the mountain. He was right, it was a lovely evening… it would be a shame to waste it…

"Why don't we watch the sunset before we go on?"

He paused and looked at you. An expression you couldn't quite place played about his features. He nodded, "A fine idea, Reader."

With a smile, you sat on the side of the road and dug in your bag, producing an extra drink and a box of the bamboo shoots cookies he liked. He accepted a cookie but didn't sit down, instead staring out across the field.

"Afraid I might put the moves on you if you sit with me?" You joked but something felt...off.

"Reader…"

His eyes remained fixed on the horizon.

"There is something I need to share with you if we intend on carrying this out any further."

"What's that?" You spoke around a mouthful of cookie, digging in the box for another.

After all of the day’s shenanigans, you expected humor, but as he turned to you his smile held none.

"My past."

Oh…

_ Tragic backstory unlocked. _

The story he told you was dark and painted a path to connect the pieces you already knew.

You sat there, your cookies forgotten. He stood staring out across the field, speaking softly. Silent, you listened.

“The only thing he had faith in as a child was the certainty and clarity of death. He grew up in the worst slum you could imagine. A world without trust or kindness. Parents sold their children. Friends and lovers betrayed each other in a heartbeat. The only law was street justice. The only medication? Drugs that only provided escape, not healing. The lives of those born into this world were valuless. Worth less than garbage.”

You weren’t sure, yet, if he was speaking of someone else or himself. He was certainly extra enough to tell his story this way...

“He grew up without anything to believe in except the inevitable certainty of death. That's why he became an assassin. It turned out to be the ideal path for him. Those who were intelligent, he killed with skill. Those who were strong, he killed with technique. Those who were both, he disarmed with charm. Unless the target surpassed him in every way, there was no escape. As a result, he was untouchable.”

You rested your chin on your hand, watching him.

“He accepted any job, no matter the difficulty. He breached the security of the leader of a superpower and made it appear as if the man died of natural causes. He killed two dozen military officers bringing about an end to a ten-year civil war in just one week. After his thousandth kill, he came to be known as the Grim Reaper.”

“Two years ago the Grim Reaper fell into the hands of a secret scientific organization. He had been captured while working with his first and only protege. If someone else shared his skill level, the range of possibilities for assassinations would be greatly expanded. That had been the  _ only _ reason he took on a student.”

He sighed heavily. His voice was soft, genuine in the quiet way he was at times. Broken in comparison to his dramatic presentation until this point, “This young man had asked me to take him on as my apprentice after I completed an assassination. He was extremely talented, so I agreed. He craved power. So I gave him all the power he wanted. But I always made sure he was _ aware _ of the enormous power differential between us. I thought that would keep him loyal. I strove to inspire a respect tinged with awe. I had no inkling that he would betray me. I failed him.”

“So,  _ you _ were called the Grim Reaper...”

He gave a small nod, still not looking at you.

“It was in that facility that I met her.”

_ Her… _

“She knew what I was from the beginning...”

He launched back into his story, shifting back to his narrative of distance, “The Grim Reaper concluded that the woman chosen to keep an eye on him during the night might come in handy later. She could be useful to him… even with her ridiculous fashion sense…”

The last part was full of warmth and fondness.

“The chief researcher of this organization was one Yotaro Yanagisawa.” By comparison, this name was laced with overtones of disgust, “He was trying to generate antimatter through an approach that defied  _ all _ natural laws. And the Grim Reaper had become his Guinea Pig.”

His voice gentled again, “The name of the woman assigned to keep an eye on me was Aguri Yukimura. By day she was a new junior high school teacher. By night she volunteered with Yanagisawa's research until the wee hours. I asked her why she agreed to take on so much work… she told me her engagement to him was already arranged. She had no say in the matter.”

“The generation of anti-matter in the human body. That was the core of Yanagisawa's research. He incorporated the particle acceleration cycle which is essential to generating antimatter, into the natural human life cycle and the immense energy it released activated the acceleration process which, in turn, stimulated cell growth which, in turn, generated more antimatter-as long as that person remained  _ alive _ .”

“It was an ambitious technique that no unseasoned scientist could begin to comprehend, but the Grim Reaper's knowledge exceeded that of any ordinary scientist. For his assassinations, he had intensively studied scientific methodology and during that one month on the laboratory table, he pretty much grasped the essential points of this radical theory. So he took it upon himself to manipulate the experiment from behind the scenes. The outcome, he was sure, would grant him destructive power beyond comprehension. The Grim Reaper was convinced that this power would free him-make him something…  _ more _ .”

His voice softened, “I wasn’t wrong… I suppose.”

Fondness resurfaced in his tone, “Despite working as a teacher from six in the morning until seven at night, and observing an experimental subject from eight in the evening until two in the morning, Aguri was surprisingly energetic and managed to complete all that hard work without breaking a sweat.”

“In three months time the assassin and the teacher had opened up to each other. They were like old friends. It would have been easy for the assassin to use his skills to manipulate her, but she had very limited authority at the laboratory, so she was of little value to the Grim Reaper.”

“Moreover…” Affection was heavy in his tone, “I became genuinely interested in her life.”

“Aguri was in charge of the class 3-E at Kunugigaoka Junior High. The school tosses all its losers into a separate school building. The class is usually assigned a rookie teacher to provide instruction in all their subjects. This helps develop the new teacher's general teaching skills while the school saves money on personnel for students destined to be dropouts. Chillingly logical. She must have been assigned to class E because the school had high expectations of her. ”

The sweetness of his tone melted away again. His voice sharpening, “Yanagisawa's research was _ revolutionary _ . It would move several steps beyond the limits of modern science. But the tradeoff was the cost of numerous  _ miscalculations _ along the way. Miscalculations that brought unimaginable pain on the subject.” 

“The experiment progressed. The Grim Reaper’s body began to exhibit obvious changes. The energy of the antimatter circulated throughout his body resulting in an overly accelerated metabolism. In order to handle such an immense flow of power, his body tissues had to be replaced with stronger and more flexible substances. In six months time, the treatment caused his arms and fingers to stretch and bow like whips. Yanagisawa called these extensions 'tentacles'.”

The circumstances of his change fell into place as he spoke. You tried to picture what he might have looked like before. It was difficult. He was so...iconic to you as this.

Similarly, it was difficult to imagine him as a killer… though it made perfect sense. He taught his class the way he knew how, from his  _ experience _ . He’d said as much to Itona. His skills were superhuman but his intuition and knowledge stemmed from a time  _ before _ those skills. You couldn't argue that if he was even a _ tenth _ as skilled as a human as he was now, then he would have been a nightmare of an assassin.

“The researchers appeared more alert in his presence. Yanagisawa stopped approaching the Grim Reaper in his cell and began issuing orders from a safe distance. Aguri continued to dutifully follow Yanagisawa's orders. She was the designated scapegoat should something go awry. She accepted that role.” 

There was a pause, “She realized that the Grim Reaper was gradually turning into something other than human, but Aguri never asked unnecessary questions.”

“She would look straight at me, at what I'd  _ become _ and smile at me, the way she  _ always _ had. I came to understand what it means to truly  _ "see" _ someone. For the first time, this incomparable assassin who never revealed his true self to anyone learned what a joy it was to be really and truly  _ seen _ by someone else.”

“The season changed and a new group of students entered E Class. That was two weeks before the moon became a perpetual crescent. By the time a year had passed that room had become a safe place where the two of them could talk about anything.”

“After discovering a time of the day when no one was monitoring their conversation she asked the Grim Reaper to tell her his life story. He didn’t know his name or his birthday. He told her that kind words were only weapons to be used in assassinations and that the purpose of a smile was to deceive others. He learned about her life as well, that she was nothing but a servant- not a woman- to her fiance. And how although she respected the man's talent, she could not bring herself to like him. Yet she kept working for him observing me nightly. That was just the way she was.”

“I learned more about her, about the new batches of Class E students, and about her little sister, the actress who she was proud of.”

“People all have a role to play in this world. Some need to be gently nurtured. This was a view of the world the Grim Reaper had never known. And the fake smile he'd always worn... became a real one.”

He chuckled, a bittersweet sound, “I changed in so much more than just my body and she noticed it first. She said that the tentacles were bringing out my true self, the person I would have been if I’d lived a normal life. Smart, klutzy, lecherous, stingy, stubborn… and genuinely kind. That was her evaluation of my character.”

There was another pause from him. You sat, patient. It didn’t seem like this story was done. From his stance and tone… you felt he was getting to the hard parts.

Harder than what he’d told you so far.

“On the anniversary of our meeting she brought me a gift.” one of his hands reached up to rest against his chest, “A ridiculous, tacky, gigantic tie. She couldn’t even give it to me. We were separated by an acrylic wall a foot thick.” he shook his head lightly, “She suggested I make that day my birthday.”

“Yanagisawa was forcing her to quit teaching. It would be her last year but she would have given anything to help those children...” you heard the smallest of shudders in his breath.

“She was grateful for my friendship. For my support.” he gave a dry laugh, “ _ My _ support. The support of a man who had killed hundreds who had spent the last year thinking of all the ways he could escape… The man she’d taught something _ infinitely _ more valuable.”

He faltered and his tone changed.

You realized… he was telling you the story this way to distance himself…

To keep the space he needed to say it without succumbing to heartache.

“The Grim Reaper had mastered the use of his tentacles much more quickly than the scientists had anticipated. He could create ultra-fine tentacles that wouldn't register on the surveillance camera. Revealing them to her would lower his chances of escape but the Grim Reaper wanted to express his gratitude to her too. He used them to reach her through the one opening in the barrier between them. A set of small air holes used to allow for ease of communication.”

His voice dipped again, darkness entering it, “The two touched each other for the first time, six hours before the creation of the permanent crescent moon.”

The strange shadowed crescent had risen through the course of his story. Stars appearing in the dark velvet of the night sky.

“The scientist's laboratory on the moon maintained an environment similar to earth. Inside, a single mouse was kept alive as part of a fully automated experiment. The Grim Reaper's antimatter generation cells had been transplanted into it for scientific replication. The antimatter generation cells use the power of the cell cycle engine to create a continuous and copious amount of energy. The research was the culmination of a dream come true which would create enough electricity for an entire country with just 20 or so cow-sized antimatter organisms. But the one worry Yanagisawa's team had was what would happen as the creature aged. When the cells reached their limit of division how would this affect the antimatter generation cycle?”

He might as well have been teaching class with the tone he was taking, “In order to find out, an experiment was carried out using a mouse because it would age faster than a human. As a precaution, the experiment took place on the moon to minimize any collateral damage. The research team was optimistic that nothing would happen. But they were wrong...  _ catastrophically _ wrong. The moment the mouse's cellular division ended, the antimatter generation cycle did  _ not _ dissipate, but rather  _ expanded, _ creating a chain reaction that turned the mineral composition of the moon into antimatter which resulted in 70 percent of the moon being vaporized.”

What?

Oh…

_ He _ hadn’t destroyed the moon but…

Something made  _ from _ him had.

“Clearly, this was a problem. Calculations were made and it was determined that their human test subject would undergo the same chain reaction on March 13th of the following year.”

You…

Suddenly so many things made sense.

_ The world will end in March or I will be dead. I'll be leaving you too. Are you certain you can handle that? _

_ That's _ why he seemed so sure of his death. It was  _ unavoidable _ . That's why he had been so worried about you and the class… why he threatened the end. It spurred the children on, kept up the appearance of a malicious threat instead of a heartbreaking one.

This voice was sharp as he spoke next, “The decision was made. The guinea pig would need to be  _ put down _ .”

“The laboratory was in chaos. And no one noticed Aguri overhearing. Aguri's relationship with the Grim Reaper was built on trust as one human to another, not a guinea pig. So who could blame her for telling him everything?”

He sighed, “She wanted to save him. Swore she would find a way.”

“But Aguri's words didn't reach the Grim Reaper. The moment he was faced with his own death he made a decision-a  _ bad _ decision.  _ ‘That's right. _ ’ he thought,  _ ‘How could I have forgotten? People are born into this world to die. And I am an assassin who has killed countless people. It's only  _ natural _ for me to face a terrible end... but it would be a pity to die without using this new power. _ ’”

“She said she wanted to be with him. He warned her to leave. When she did, he unleashed his abilities. Freeing himself.”

“The shape of the tentacles are greatly affected by the emotional state of the host. If the emotions are twisted the body will twist into a monstrous form as well.”

“And that is exactly what happened.”

You wondered if he meant his form now. You had a feeling that he didn’t from his tone.

“Yanagisawa saw that the Grim Reaper's power far exceeded his calculations and finally realized that his experiment had always been controlled by the Grim Reaper, not him.”

“The failure of the experiment. The Guinea Pig’s revolt. Aguri's change of heart. Yanagisawa's shattered pride. It was a tipping point. Yanagisawa called in the guards.” 

“The Grim Reaper's head was clear. He was in his prime. He didn't need to use his tentacles as he escaped. All one needed to tear a major artery was a grain of sand at the right velocity.”

“He was impaled during the fight. Attacked with a tentacle mine. The powerful tentacle is a byproduct of the creation of the antimatter creatures. The scientists had been simultaneously researching a method to use those tentacles independently as weapons. When transplanted into a human these tentacles bestow incredible strength. When placed inside a container equipped with a sensor they detect the presence of a life form and attack at supersonic speed. A deadly trap indeed.”

“Unfortunately for Yanagisawa, it was not enough to kill the Reaper.”

“ _ ‘I'm going to die within the year anyway. I don't care if it's by myself or if I take this planet with me. _ ’ he thought to himself.” 

“He found himself surrounded by guards. But they were nothing to him.”

“Arriving face-to-face with his own death everything seemed suddenly clear to the master assassin. What was dangerous, who was powerful, which of them would survive.. _.everything _ was clear.”

“Aguri saw him. She moved to stop him. She had been neither enemy nor obstacle to him. Aguri was looking right at him but he didn't even notice her…”

“Until a tentacle mine struck her to the ground.”

You remembered the hollowness of his voice.

_ She died because of my mistakes. _

“The wound was fatal. Even the Grim Reaper with all his mastery of medicine, couldn't save her. He asked her why. Why had she tried to intercept him? And she said  _ ‘I thought you wouldn't stop if I just called out to you... _ ’”

“And she was right. If he had left the facility in that state his negative emotions would have corrupted his tentacles, corrupted his mind, and he would have become a dark monster of destruction. It was her touch that brought him back to himself…”

You remembered that night in your apartment, him telling you in hushed, almost reverent tones about her. Now you understood. It had been a fresh wound. The loss of someone he’d loved in a life  _ barren _ of it. The thought that he saw you as anywhere  _ near  _ her level of importance made your heart ache.

“The assassin had grown up hating the world, so he used everything he acquired for the sole purpose of  _ destroying _ his target. His scientific knowledge, his battle skills, his communication techniques, and even his tentacles… He finally realized that he could have used these talents for  _ so many other things _ . If he had noticed her sooner. If he had practiced medical techniques with this new power. He had had all the time in the world to learn, to adapt. So why hadn’t he? His power to kill, to destroy, he could have been using it to help… all of this time.”

“She had one request of him. One last request.”

His voice softened, “And it wasn’t even for her...”

He took a breath, “All she wanted was for him to use the year he had left to teach her class.”

“ _ ‘They’re in the dark. Like you.’ _ she told him,  _ ‘Look them straight in the eye and I’m sure you’ll find the answers you need. _ ’”

“The last thing she said to me was that she was sure I would become a fine teacher...”

“Hidden away in her pocket was a large birthday present. An oversized tie that no one would wear. Tacky... silly... weak... ridiculous… flawed… vulnerable… real… I finally realized that this was what attracted me to her.” you saw his hand go to his chest again. He seemed to almost curl inward on it, protectively.

“And I made my promise to her. I would spend the remainder of the time left to me as a teacher. Her students would be my students and I would watch over them.”

He straightened, continuing, “He could move at incredible speeds. All of his human cells had been replaced with tentacle cells. He was about to be reborn as a completely new creature. He could do anything with his new powers! What kind of being he chose to become was now entirely up to him.”

“Like a cicada, he burrowed into the Earth to begin his transformation. And it was in the depths of the mountain that the tentacles spoke to him. The tentacles asked him,  _ ‘What do you want to be? _ ’ and he answered,  _ ‘I want to be weak. A creature that appears helpless, something so ridiculous that you want to just squeeze him to death! Something that can suss out vulnerabilities in other creatures with its tentacles, that can protect them and lead them. That was the creature... no... the teacher he wanted to become.’ _ "

_ “‘I might make mistakes.’ _ he said to himself, _ ‘At times my cold-hearted former self might reappear... but I will do my best. I will do what she was trying to do, in my own way, to the best of my ability.’ _ And thus the rookie teacher who could move at Mach 20 took his time and slowly rose up from the Earth… as this.”

He gestured to himself. His eyes were still on the horizon though the sun had long since set.

A child from a dangerous nation with no name to call his own. A skill honed for survival. A betrayal by a student. A medical experiment. The death of a loved one An opportunity for redemption. Death on the horizon.

_ Tragic backstory indeed. _

“I thought that it was only fair that you know. I’ll answer any question you ask. From here, the choice to continue is yours. Whatever you choose, I will respect your decision, but I thought it would be unfair to keep it from you given your feelings. I've killed many and I've made mistakes. If you can't abide by that I understand…"

Choose?

Oh. 

_ Ohhhhhhhh… _

Did he really think...

You rose to your feet, dusting yourself off. He stayed where he was, gown fluttering in the breeze, staring across the fields.

Reaching out, you took his hand in yours, leaning against him, "I thought I'd already chosen."

He looked down at you then for the first time since he’d started speaking. His expression softened with relief. You gave him a smile, "I mean, this isn't  _ exactly _ a  _ conventional _ relationship after all."

A gentle chuckle escaped him, "I suppose not.” he took a breath. It seemed like telling you had taken a lot out of him, “I simply wanted you to be aware."

"Pretty sure I was aware when I realized I wanted to kiss an octopus, that  _ something _ wasn't conventional…" you teased gently.

It seemed that was just what he needed. He relaxed just a bit. Just enough...

" _ Thank you _ , Reader." His hand squeezed yours softly, "You were the last thing I expected to happen this year but I believe you are,  _ by far _ , one of the best."

Your heart felt like it might burst. He turned towards you, leaning down, and placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

Somewhere in your mind, you felt that if you moved or spoke this moment would end and you would realize it wasn’t real to begin with. Some extended daydream. Some hallucination. You'd wake up on your futon or asleep at your desk and feel incredibly embarrassed and-

He straightened, his usual grin was back in place, green rings beginning to form around his head, "If I heard you correctly, you  _ did  _ say you wanted to kiss the octopus.~"

**_You were going to fucking scream._ **

He laughed, dodging as you swung a hand at him playfully, "Shhh!"

You could feel your face burning but you couldn't stop smiling. Then you were laughing and he wrapped you in his arms.

"You know what?"

"Nue?" He looked down at you, amused.

"I think I want to kiss the octopus  _ again _ .~" you reached up and gently tugged on the collar of his robes.

He went fluorescent pink, allowing you to drag him down into another kiss. 

Fireflies mirrored the stars above, flickering through the fields around you. Moonlight spilled across the mountain. You were surrounded by the scent of old books and summer rain. And all you could think was that if you died here and now, you would die happy.

He’d been incredibly sheepish when he’d realized just how long he’d kept you in the fields. He offered to take you home and you’d agreed on one condition. That he stay the night.

He’d quietly agreed.


	56. Get to Know Ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!  
> [Korosensei's POV can be found here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19787860/chapters/49319984)

He’d dropped you off on your balcony and vanished for a few moments, returning with his bedding in tow not long after. You excused yourself for a shower and when you’d returned he had laid out the blankets and changed into his pajamas. You chuckled, remembering the last time he’d stayed over and how much of a wreck you’d been.

“Surprised you haven’t built a pillow fort yet.”

He perked up, “Excellent idea!”

And just like magic, there was a fort of pillows and blankets in your living room. Your two little kitchen chairs serving as basic tent posts of sorts.

You laughed, shaking your head. He was such a big kid sometimes…

And knowing what you knew now…

You could see why.

“Hey…”

He looked up at you.

The scene was ridiculous. A giant yellow octopus in pajamas in a pillow fort in your living room.

But it was adorable… and sweet… and…

And you were worried.

“You… that was a lot back there in the field. Are you okay?”

He gave a nod but… there was a hesitation to it. He needed a distraction.

More of a distraction than a pillow fort was going to bring.

“Wanna watch some late-night TV and relax, maybe?”

He seemed almost surprised by the suggestion but nodded, “That would be lovely.”

Well… this might be a gamble but…

You turned on the TV, flipping through the channels until you settled on a drama he seemed familiar with.

Okay… you could do this. You’d technically already done it before…

You joined him on the futon he had spread out and laid down next to him, cuddling up so your back was flush against him. You heard the faintest of surprised sounds. After a few moments, an arm tentatively looped over you. You glanced back at him. He was a soft pink.

Good.

Over the next hour or so he caught you up on the intricate plot of this drama he enjoyed. Who was going with who, what family was causing trouble, and such. You could practically feel him unwind as he spoke.

It was cute.

But you wanted something else.

And you felt like maybe he  _ needed _ something else.

And if he was making a trip to Everest soon...

During a lull in the plot, you rolled over, facing him. He looked down at you in surprise, "I’m sorry, is it boring you, Reader?"

You shook your head, "No… there's just something more interesting here."

You gently wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest. 

“Oh… oh my… ” He faltered and you felt his arms wrap tighter around you. 

Reaching up, you ran your hand along his cheek and he leaned his face into the touch.

Hmmmm…

You scooched up, adjusting your position to where you could look him in the eyes. He went pink.

“Reader?”

Leaning in, you gave him a kiss where one would expect a nose and then touched your forehead to his. One of his hands tentatively trailed along your back, his forehead nuzzling against yours. He seemed surprised and unsure of this sudden affection.

“You know… you’re very cuddly.” you looped an arm over his shoulder.

He stuttered, flustered by the compliment. 

You chuckled, “I don’t just mean with me but like with everyone. You’re always hanging on Karasuma and just generally being close to people.”

The pink faded and he looked at you, his face going to its default smile, “Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just something I noticed.” you ran your hand up the back of his head and nuzzled against his cheek.

“I suppose…” he started and then paused, “That it’s a side effect of my upbringing.”

You looked at him, “Which was rough...”

“And my career…"

You thought about that conversation you’d had the other night.

_ As an assassin, one must suspect everyone. _

“I would guess it didn’t leave a lot of trust and space for more… sensual aspects of affection...” you ran your hand up his cheek as you spoke and thought you could detect just a slight hitch in his breath.

“Neither does being in a cell....” his voice was soft, almost fragile sounding.

Your thumb grazed across his skin. You could feel the tiniest of shivers from him.

“Most of my experience with others touching me has been incredibly painful or incredibly careful. But since changing I've been able to experience a variety of exchanges each precious in their own way.” he gestured with a tendril, his hands still occupied with being clasped around you, “Though, since joining this classroom, I believe I’ve come to prefer yours most of all." 

It took everything you had not to hide your face or scream into a pillow. Instead, your body settled on forcing you to grin like a complete dope.

“You really seem to love it.” you ran a hand along his cheek again and he nuzzled into your palm, you could feel his face heat up as the pink returned in full force.

“I do, I admit. It’s not a sensation I’ve had much of.”

You had a moment of sudden realization as several things clicked into place.

He’d been through  _ so many _ changes over the last year and it had opened up parts of him. Exposed aspects of himself he’d never explored.

He had asked to be weak.

And what was weakness to the man he had been?

To _ rely _ on others. To  _ need  _ others. To  _ want _ others…

A basic aspect of human function.

Something he’d been denied.

Something he’d shunned.

“You're  _ touch starved _ .” it came out almost a whisper.

A secret. Something you worried might disintegrate if brought into the light to examine it.

“Hm?” he peeked up from where his face had been buried in your palm. 

It was _ painfully _ adorable.

“Well… humans _ are _ social creatures.” you kept your words gentle, “We enjoy touch and affection. It’s part of how we operate. We don’t thrive well without it.”

There was something to his expression. The grin was still there but there was something hollow behind it, his voice was…more strained than usual, an echo of how he’d sounded in the field.

“We just survive.”

Oh, that wasn’t going to do _at all_. Reaching out, you pulled him close to you, nuzzling into his neck. He made some incredibly cute sounds of surprise, wrapping his arms around you tighter. You knew right then that one of your goals in whatever time you had together was to make sure he felt loved _every chance you got_.

“Then I guess I’m going to have to make up for lost time.” you pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

“I have no objections to that.” he looked like he was having a bit of a meltdown but you could hear the happiness in his voice, “I only hope you don’t mind if I return the favor.”

You looked up at him with a grin, “Why on Earth would I mind that?”

He gave a happy sigh, one of his hands coming up to run through your hair as you ran your hands over his shoulders, the show completely forgotten. 

It was hushed, soft, you both simply held each other and fell into almost whispered conversation. Questions, observations, feelings… it was like a dam had broken and everything came pouring out at once. 

"What did you look like before this?"

He seemed surprised by the question but quickly played it off with a smirk, "Certainly not as handsome as I am now."

"Could I see?"

He paused.

"I promise, I'll still find you perfectly handsome like this." You joked, kissing his cheek.

"All right." He procured a pencil and paper and in a flash, you had an image before you. You looked it over.

His style was simple but it got the idea across.

The drawing was of a slender man in a long coat with the slightest of smiles on his face. If this was accurate he had been very handsome before the changes.

Of course, knowing him, it could be true or it could be an exaggeration.

Then again some of the most ridiculous things he’d told you had been the truth.

You smiled.

"You had a kind face even back then."

His reply was soft, "I wasn't very kind."

"You were kind enough for Aguri."

He looked away, quieting.

Gently, you reached up and cupped his cheek with your hand, "And you are more than kind enough for me."

He gently pressed his hand over yours, eyes closing.

You considered something, "How would you have seen me... before?"

There was silence from his end for a long moment.

"Weak. Emotional. Flawed. Ridiculous."

You made a face.

"But those are the things that I love about you." he reached out, running a tentacle along your cheek, "I saw no strength in them before her..."

You smiled, “You’ve done so much for her.”

There was something to his expression. A flicker of… something.

“Please…”

You winced internally, had that been a bit much?

His voice was soft when he spoke again, “Please don’t see her as… as an adversary…”

You faltered and then laughed, “What?”

“I loved her. She meant the world to me but that doesn’t mean that yo-”

You cut him off, gently, “Without her, you would never have become what you are now. How could I ever see her that way?”

Tension eased from his features and he touched his forehead to yours.

You smiled, “She sounds like she was lovely.” 

“She was.” he chuckled, “Even if her taste in clothes was… questionable.”

“Questionable?”

He sighed, laughing just a touch. The fond laugh one gets at particularly ridiculous memories.

It was a good sound to hear from him.

“There was this fashion brand she adored...” he retrieved his phone, pulling up a website.

“Rotten Manten?” you looked at the screen and-

Oh…

Oh my god.

You stifled a laugh, “This is the kind of thing she wore?”

He nodded, chuckling, “Ridiculous and charming… and so terribly, terribly tacky...”

Like he was one to talk with his disguises…

“That’s cute…” you paused, “Wait… is that why you kept asking about my octopus shirt?”

He chuckled, “Not… exactly. She had a shirt...” he tapped about on his phone for a minute, “This one.”

It was a black shirt with a grinning yellow octopus on it. Above it in large text was PRESENTING OCTOPUS SHOW.

You laughed, “Oh my god… is that where...” you gestured to him, “All of this came from?”

“I suppose...” he chuckled to himself, looking back at the image, “It wasn’t a conscious choice… much of it was decided by the tentacles.”

“Do they… do they still talk to you? Like is it like having other people in your head?”

He shook his head, “At first, yes, but now they’re simply an extension of me. Like your hand or your arm. It’s… it’s like imprinting. They take after you. They become what you ask of them. That would be why emotions play such a large part in the process...”

“And that’s why Itona…?”

He gave a nod, “I don’t know where Shiro gained access to the technology but his actions have put that boy in danger. His emotional state isn’t a healthy one, with tentacles or without.”

You gave a nod, “Do… do you think we’ll get him back safely?”

“I intend on it. I don’t plan on letting any of our students slip through my tentacles...”

“Karasuma told me he’ll keep me notified if he learns anything about Itona’s state.”

“Good.” he gave a nod, “Better you to ask than me.”

You nodded.

He held up a hand, idly, and flexed his fingers, “If I get my hands on that Shiro though…” 

You gave a hum of agreement. Then, realized...

You reached out, taking his hand in yours and exploring it gently. He made a tiny sound of surprise. You’d never had the right opportunity to actually just… do this. Or ask this question.

“Why _ this  _ shape?” you shook your head gently, “It seems like less fingers would be a detriment...”

"The tentacles chose these. I can modify myself, of course, but these were what the tentacles gave me when I changed. I have to admit they're quite useful. Far easier to use than I expected at first..."

"I like them." you chuckled, still fiddling lightly with the tendrils that functioned as his fingers, “But what is going on with your texture?” you laughed, “It’s not bad but like… the first time I shook your hand I was just reminded of those like… gummy toys you would throw at the wall as a kid?”

He laughed, “As I mentioned, the experiment resulted in a lot of antimatter energy circulating through me. My tissues had to be modified… replaced… a silicone base was the ideal choice. Something that could resist the temperatures my body could reach.”

Silicone... 

“So, you’re telling me you’re basically made out of the same stuff we use for baking wear or medical supplies.” you chuckled.

“That’s a very simple concept of it, but, yes.” he gave a small shrug.

“That’s… that’s wild.” you thought of something, “Wait, is that why you’re going to Everest? Because you overheat or something?”

He shook his head slightly, “I wasn’t exaggerating about being a touch nervous about this upcoming assassination attempt… seven tentacles is going to knock me down quite a bit. And I’m sure our little assassins won’t stop there. So I need to prepare.”

“Prepare?” you echoed.

You remembered his suggestion from that day on the trail...

_ It’s better to plan for what’s to come. Prepare. That is what will bring you peace. _

“Well, our students aren’t the only ones who train. What sort of teacher doesn’t improve their skills?”

“Wait so you’re going there to-”

“Find a way to outsmart them, of course.” he chuckled, “What sort of target would I be and what sort of teacher if I just let them win? I have no intention of being killed… not yet, anyway.”

That…

That actually gave you a measure of peace.

All this time you’d been worried about him, but he’d shown time and again he was always just ahead of anyone after him.

Because he prepared for it…

On the other hand though…

You hugged him tightly, burying your face in his neck.

It sounded lonely.

He gave a yelp of surprise and laughed, holding you close.

“How long are you going to be there? Until Okinawa?”

He gave a nod, “I’ll need all the time I can for it.”

“So you leave tomorrow then?”

“Yes.”

You nodded, laying your head against his chest.

What a day.

Bugs, porn traps, popsicles, backstory, a kiss, and now this...

You laughed, “Summer is off to one hell of a start.”

He gave a contented sigh, “It certainly is.”

“With everything that happened, I don’t think I’m going to ever forget today.” you paused, “Hey, I have a question.”

“Mn?” he looked down.

“Um… Takaoka… You shoved me against the wall...”

He went a brilliant pink, “I’m sorry about that, Reader...”

“I meant the second time...” you laid a hand on his chest, “Were you going to...”

You could see him look away for half a moment, “Ah… well...”

You laughed a bit, “You were weren’t you? You were going to kiss me.”

He gave the tiniest of nods, his face a dark pink now, "You know, it took everything I had not to kiss you the other night… when you told me..."

"Why didn't you?"

His reply was hushed, "I didn't want you to associate the memory with crying."

Oh…

That was darling…

_ Absolutely darling… _

You pulled his face to yours, kissing him gently, "I think you picked the  _ perfect _ time to do it.”

He looked like he was going to implode. 

You laughed and laid your head on his shoulder.

“I can’t say much… when you first told me about Aguri I thought to myself, ‘I can’t tell him how I feel ever’ cause like… you… well, you were hurt…”

His expression softened into fondness, “Reader, you have no idea how much that night meant to me...”

You felt your face heat up dramatically, “Oh...”

“I hadn’t meant to tell you about her but… being able to talk about her… it helped.”

You considered this for a moment, “...you’ve just been handling all that by yourself, huh?”

He gave a slow nod, “You’ve… you’ve been a challenge.”

“What?” you looked at him in surprise.

“Every time we talk about these sorts of things...” his voice faltered, “So much goes against what I know. What I thought I knew.” he paused for a long moment.

“Suspect everyone.”

He gave a nod, “I thought nothing of Aguri as a threat because she was weak. Because of our situation… but, you are in a classroom full of assassins… you’ve frightened me before you know.”

“Hm?” you looked at him with a laugh, “What? How?”

“You startled me. That morning with the cranes… that doesn’t happen often. Not to that degree.”

“I’m sorry about that.” you laughed just a bit, “I’m just… have you seen me? My score against the  _ mountain _ is 0 to 1 for fuck’s sake.”

He laughed, “But maybe it’s all just a cover.”

You snorted, “‘Fraid not. What you see is what you get.” you gestured to yourself.

“I’d argue that you’re deeper than that but… I’m quite happy with what I see,” he said.

You buried your face in the pillow, “That is  _ not fair! _ ”

Green stripes, “What isn’t? Why, Reader, I thought we had established I looooove you. That means, of course, that I get to shower you in compliments!”

You glared at him over the edge of the pillow and before you could react, he snapped a photo.

“Hey!” you rubbed your eyes.

“Nurufufufu~” he was looking gleefully at his phone, “I do believe I’ll make that my new background...”

“Oh my god… at least let me see it!”

He showed you with a huge grin. Your hair was a mess, you were holding a pillow, red-faced, with a pout…

You’d seen a picture like that before, you laughed, “You know, we’ve got a matching set now.”

“Nue?” he looked at you in confusion.

You grabbed your phone, opening your downloads and flipped to the photo of him from that Sunday game of True and False. Pink, clutching a pillow and pouting.

The two of you fell into laughter over it.

“Of course, I have a much better one,” he smirked, showing you that picture you’d taken of yourself in the Kigurumi.

“Oh my god,  _ you saved that one too?! _ ”

He laughed, “I believe we’ve established, reader, that I find you very attractive. Why wouldn’t I save photos you send me?”

You rubbed at your face, “You’re trying to kill me.”

“That’s my line.”

“Goddammit.” you laughed, covering your face, “Clearly you’ve just been trying to murder me this whole year so far.”

“Whatever do you mean?” his eyes narrowed, green stripes prominent.

“Let’s see. You basically asked me out on a date to Tomita. Like… what? A week after I figured out I had feelings for you. Then like... you were always surprising me with lunch of taking me places. Then you’ve got the flirty ass texts and the phone call and-”

“Wait… a week after?” his tone indicated piqued curiosity.

Goddammit.

You buried your face in your hands, “Yes, okay, it was after me getting sick and all the god damn post-it notes you fucking asshole.”

He laughed uncontrollably at that.

“And THEN you’re like ‘let’s have a movie night!’ and MY dumb ass just automatically agrees without thinking of how awkward it might be and then I FALL ASLEEP ON YOU.”

“I thought that was quite adorable, actually.” he tried to get himself to wind down, still giggling, “It was… delightfully domestic.”

You looked at him in surprise, “What? Oh… Yeah, I guess… that’s kind of novel for you, huh?”

He sighed contentedly, flopping back onto the pillows, “It’s been positively refreshing… The class, the students, you...” he went pink, chuckling, “I was a mess when you said ''I love you'' over the phone.”

“Same.” you laughed a bit, “I panicked pretty hard. And then the kids made a thing of it and ohhhh my god...”

He chuckled, his voice gentle, “It was lovely to hear even if I didn’t think we’d ever...”

So… you hadn’t been alone in that respect.

He looked sheepish. Reaching out, you drew him close to you, laying his head against your chest. He froze for a moment, tense and uncertain, but the moment you ran your hand over his head and down his back he sighed, his body relaxing. You fell into a comfortable quiet. Peaceful, soft, and…

How had he put it?

_ Delightfully domestic. _

Between the drone of the TV, the excitement of the day, and the tired silence between the two of you, you found yourself drifting off.

When you woke up, it was to soft movement. He’d rolled to his side away from you. You smiled to yourself and curled against his back, arms around him, tucking your face into his shoulder.

He stirred, a hushed sound of surprise escaped him. He glanced back. You gave him a smile.

There was something to his expression... He rolled onto his back and looked at you for a long moment.

“You okay?” you asked, a little worried.

"I do believe…” the note of awe in his voice surprised you, "That is the first time I’ve _properly_ _slept_ next to someone…”

You laughed lightly, “Properly? Was the Nomikai not proper enough?”

He shook his head, his voice serious, “Reader… you don’t  _ understand _ .”

You stared at him, curious.

“You recall I mentioned that I don’t sleep like humans normally do...”

You gave a small nod.

“I suppose you’re right to scold me.” he blushed a bit, scratching at his head, “I don’t… sleep. With certain adjustments, I’ve made I don’t need to... it’s more of a trance state… but...”

“You actually fell asleep tonight… like… asleep asleep...”

He gave a small nod. Tentative. Almost afraid.

You buried your face in his front, hugging him tighter.

He chuckled softly, "I think I prefer it."

You were having a heart attack. You felt like your chest might explode. You peeked up at him to find him smiling down at you, pink and happy.

Sliding up, you placed a kiss on his cheek, "I'm glad…"

His grin widened, expression softening, and you found yourself held close, lips on yours. You laughed into the kiss.

You talked together for a while longer. Soft, sleepy conversation. When you fell asleep again it was in the quiet dark of the pillow fort he had built. The TV was shut off, tentacles were around you and the only sounds were soft breathing and the distant whir of appliances. The hushed electronic heartbeat of a home.


	57. Let Me Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to Come!  
> [Korosensei's POV is here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/49719983)

When you woke up the first thing you noticed was sunlight filtering through the quilt overhead lighting up the underside with the diffuse color of the checkered blocks on top. Like stained glass rendered in cloth.

The next thing you noticed was the scent of old books and summer rain.

That's when you noticed the tentacle looped over you, heavy and warm.

You smiled and looked over to its owner.

For the first time since you'd met him you saw his face relaxed, mouth partly open, softly breathing, fast asleep.

Oh, there was no way you were passing this up.

You took out your phone and snapped a photo.

He pulled you closer in his sleep and nuzzled against you, a bit of his telltale smile showing up. 

Why was he so heartbreakingly sweet?

You nuzzled him gently and just as you were about to drift off-

_ "First you take the planet Earth round and blue and green!~" _

What-

_ "And floating over Tokyo you drop a giant bean~" _

What the-

_ "Put another one in Sichuan, China what a sheen!~ _

The sound was tinny like it was coming from… a phone? That sounded like him...

_ "Taking off from Dubai to Hawaii at Mach 20 leave contrails as you fly~" _

He rolled over with a sigh and you watched the familiar sight of someone trying to sleepily locate their phone amidst the blankets.

_ "Double back across the southern hemisphere over the Philippines once again to ol’ Dubai~" _

He huffed and blinked, resigned to getting up to find it.

_ "AND THEN" _

He sifted through the blankets not noticing you watching.

_ “Back to Hawaii drawing lines of latitude every 25 degrees along the way~” _

He pulled the phone out from beneath a pillow looking at it balefully.

_ “And there you have it! Korosensei~” _

He swiped the alarm off as the song began to repeat and flopped back down.

You couldn’t help it, you stifled a laugh and leaned over, kissing his cheek. He glanced back at you and realization seemed to dawn on him.

“What was that?” you laughed softly.

He blushed a bit, looking flustered, “Ah-”

“Is your alarm seriously you  _ singing? _ ” you smirked.

“I recorded it for the students as part of a geography lesson!” he said in defense.

“That’s adorable.” you laughed.

He laughed a bit, “The students are not fans.”

You wrapped your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder, “It’s cute.”

A hand came up to rest on your cheek and you looked up at him. He leaned in, giving you a gentle kiss. You chuckled into it, cupping his cheek in return.

When you parted, you tipped your head forward touching your forehead to his. He gave a happy sigh.

“You’re going to have to leave today… huh?”

He gave a small nod, “Yes.”

“Okay, but you at least have time for breakfast, yeah?” you looked up at him.

He chuckled, “I do, would you like me to-”

You put a hand over his mouth, “No. You stay here.”

He faltered, “But, Reader, I could-”

“You could but I’m not letting you.” you grinned, “Come on...”

He didn’t look sure.

You leaned in and kissed him gently, “Let me love you.”

He went a bright pink.

“Relax for a hot minute, you literally do  _ everything _ at the school. Let me at  _ least _ make you breakfast.”

There was the slightest of nods, he didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. You gave him a kiss on the forehead and made your way to the kitchen.

“Tea, yeah?”

“Yes, please.”

After getting the water started for the tea, you set the rice to cook and got out your ingredients.

Dashi, mirin, sake, soy sauce, sugar, eggs, onion, green onions...

You were glad you'd taken out the chicken to thaw the night before.

You were also glad you'd learned to make oyakodon early on as a quick dinner. 

Carefully you measured and mixed your sauce, adding in sugar. Then you moved on to the vegetables, chopping them. You beat one of the eggs and moved on to chopping up the chicken thighs. 

You tossed some of the onions in the pan, pouring some of the sauce over it, then the chicken.

You turned on the range.

There was a sound from the living room…

You looked through the gap and spotted him starting to tidy up.

“Hey!”

He froze, looking at you.

“What did I tell you to do?”

“I thought I would-”

“Relax.” you laughed, “Just… be  _ still _ for a few minutes.” you smirked, “You were pretty damn still on tit mountain yesterday!”

“READER!” The absolute indignation and alarm was hilarious.

Oh! The sauce was boiling. You lowered the heat and covered it to cook.

Oh good, the water was ready, you poured out two mugs, readying the matcha.

…

You leaned back and looked through the gap again, he was sitting on the futon idly looking through his phone but you noticed that some of the pillows and things had been returned to their places.

This was going to be difficult.

Turning your attention to the food, you checked the chicken and onions. Perfect. Carefully you poured the egg over the cooked chicken and onions, covering it again.

You prepared a bowl of rice while the egg was setting. When it was ready, you sprinkled green onions over it and slid the whole thing over the rice.

Perfect.

You tossed your portion on to cook and set the food and drink at the table.

“It’s ready.” you gave him a smile which immediately turned into a huff when you saw that half the room had been sorted, “Am I going to have to tie you to the couch or something?”

He chuckled, “I have doubts that you could...”

“Fine then.” you smirked, “I’ll just take away something worse than the snacks.”

He came over, sitting at the table, looking at you curiously.

“I just won’t kiss you anymore.” you turned and headed into the kitchen.

“Reader!” the note of alarm was damn near genuine. 

You looked through the gap at him, passing him chopsticks with a grin, “Yeah?”

He went pink but his tone was his usual rant, “That’s not fair! We just established that I’m touch starved and I do believe it was  _ you _ who said your job is to take care of the entire class. Wouldn’t that be going against your very code?!”

You laughed, pouring the egg mixture over your serving and covering it, “So, are you saying that because I _ like _ you I  _ owe _ you physical affection? Because you know that could be taken  _ quite _ negatively...”

“No no! Nothing like that!” his voice hiked up in alarm.

“Hmmmm… I mean the kids do say that you’re quite the perv sometimes…”

“I’m nothing of the sort-er-not in the way you’re implying!”

“I think Irina might think otherwise.” you chuckled at his cry of outrage.

“I thought we’d cleared that up! Reader, I-”

You burst out laughing, plating up your own food and coming out to join him. His look was sour. You sat down across from him, “I’m just giving you a hard time.”

He was pouting, picking at his food. You chuckled and crooked a finger at him. He leaned across the table, looking almost curious. Gently, you pressed a kiss between his eyes, “Like I could stop doing that anyway...”

Well, that was a brand new shade of magenta. He withdrew, covering his face, “Reader!”

You chuckled, turning your attention to your food. After several minutes of trying to recover, he started working through his own bowl.

Halfway through your meal, something occurred to you.

You swallowed, looking up at him, “Hey...”

He looked across at you.

“Um… okay so… I imagine you don’t want the kids knowing about… well… everything.”

He gave a slow nod.

“But… That’s part of my job too… and I promised them I would give them anything relevant...”

His expression softened, “Well… it is your work, Reader. And far be it from me to tell you how to do it.”

“This is  _ about _ you. You  _ deserve _ to have a say.” you leveled your gaze at him, possibly a little harder than you intended.

He sighed and gave a nod, “I think that the… more  _ colorful _ aspects of my background aren’t inherently useful for the assassination...”

That was… well, it was true. What would the kids do with that knowledge? Also… that knowledge… it wouldn’t help them in the long run…

Perhaps it was better that they never knew…

“That being said, if you have promised to share information with them. I believe you should.” he looked at you, open, genuine.

“Okay, but that could...”

“A conflict of interest. I know.” his voice gentled, “But, remember, we’re educators. Sometimes we teach hard lessons and sometimes we have to learn from our own actions.”

You sighed.

“Perhaps you should ask Ritsu what I told her the night I upgraded her.” he chuckled, “It might enlighten you a bit in that regard...”

Ritsu…

RITSU!

“Oh my god! I still have to tell Ritsu about the camera!”

He laughed, “Good, something to do while I’m away.”

“...are you going to be okay up there?”

“I’ll be all alone on a mountain, Reader. How much safer could I be?” you gave a small shrug and a hand came across the table, settling on your arm, “I’ll still be messaging you. I’ll keep you updated every step of the way if need be.”

You relaxed, “Okay...”

“Now! Allow me to at least do the dishes.”

You laughed, “If you do then you don’t get to do anything else while you’re here.”

You saw him glance between the kitchen and the pillow fort still up in the living room and grinned at him. He had to weigh which was the bigger cleanup task clearly.

He sighed in defeat. Apparently the living room had won. You got up, taking the dishes to the kitchen and washing them out.

When you came back he was still sitting at the table, tapping his finger on it lightly.

“Okay, you, come here.”

He looked up at you in surprise and you took his arm, half dragging him back to the pillow fort. You sat, tugging him down with you. He faltered but finally gave in, sitting with you. You pushed him back on the futon by his shoulders playfully and his eyes went wide, a slight pallor of blue flickered over his face and you paused.

He…

He looked  _ frightened _ .

You sat back, looking at him. He looked away for a moment.

Gently, you laid down beside him, “Sorry, I-”

He immediately curled in on you, pulling you close, “It’s alright.”

You sighed. Too much probably.

“Reader...” you looked up at him and he leaned in, kissing you gently, “It’s  _ alright. _ ”

With a smile, you reached up, cupping his face, “I know you have to go… but… just a little longer?”

He chuckled, touching his forehead to yours, “How could I say no?”

The two of you stayed curled together in the tented quilt, enjoying the shared, soft silence.

When the time came for him to leave, he helped you tidy up the living room, setting it back into order. When that was done you followed him to the balcony.

“A week.”

“A week.” he offered his hand, one tendril extended.

You laughed and hooked your pinky in it, “I love you.”

He chuckled and pulled you close, “And I, you...”

A kiss and he was gone.

In a surprisingly short time, your phone pinged. 

One new message.

From 🐙🎓

[Arrived safely!]

You sighed and laughed a bit to yourself.

[Good.  ♥️ ]


	58. The Lessons Trauma Teaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

That afternoon you texted Ritsu.

[Hey, I have a surprise for you!]

Ritsu appeared on your phone instantly, dressed in a bright little sundress, “Hello, Mx. Reader!”

You chuckled, “Hey Ritsu. You remember how you wanted to swim?”

She perked up instantly, “Yes!”

You headed over to your end table, retrieving the camera Korosensei had brought over. You held it up to your phone. Her eyes widened, “Oh!”

“Korosensei fixed it up for you… uh… I’m not… really sure how we’re going to install you into it...”

“Switch it on?” she asked, “If it has internet connectivity or bluetooth I should be able to connect. If not a cable will work just as well!”

You chuckled and sat on the couch, flicking the camera on. After a few minutes of fiddling, you managed to get the thing connected and in short order, Ritsu was grinning at you from the camera screen.

“Okay, can you access everything okay?”

She nodded, “Is this your apartment?”

You laughed, “Yeah I guess you haven’t really seen it properly, have you?”

Carefully, you panned the little camera around, showing her the apartment.

“This is so much more CLEAR!”

You laughed, “Yeah, phone cameras aren’t the best for clarity...”

“AND I CAN SEE UNDERWATER WITH THIS?”

You laughed harder, “Yep, and people can wear it too.”

“This is amazing! Can we go somewhere?!” there was a pause and you saw her face go pink, “I’m sorry, I mean… could we please go somewhere if you’re not busy…?”

“Absolutely.” you gave her a smile, “I have more news too.”

“What is it?”

“Korosensei mentioned possibly making a drone for you too.”

Her eyes went huge, “So, I could move around myself?!”

You gave a nod.

“That would be excellent!”

You’d noticed, ever since she’d been spending time with her classmates, she’d gotten more and more emotive. It was fascinating to see.

“So, there’s drills all this week, I need to go to those, but is there anywhere else you’d like to go?”

“Miraikan.”

“Miraikan?”

She nodded, “The National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation. It is two hours and two minutes from here”

“Okay.” you nodded, “I think we can arrange that. Either sometime this week or after Okinawa. What do you think?”

“After would be preferable. This week most of my functions will be focused on the current assassination plan. I would rather be able to focus wholly on the experience at Miraikan.”

You gave a nod, “Makes sense. Alright, so, wanna come to drills with me?”

“Yes!” 

And that’s how you ended up on the train with a GoPro strapped to your bag.

As you headed up the mountain you heard voices ahead of you. You found as you rounded a bend, that Takebayashi, Kimura, and Hinano were waiting for you.

“Hey, Mx. Reader!” Hinano waved.

“Oh, hey!” you gave them a smile.

“Ritsu told us to wait for you.” Takebayashi pushed up his glasses. You noticed his phone was peeking out of the pocket of his shirt, Ritsu’s face grinning out at you.

“I guess she told you about this then?” You tapped the camera on your bag.

“Yeah, Mimura said he wants to build a proper rig for it if that’s cool.” Kimura looked over your way.

“Oh… well yeah sure.”

“You really should check the group chat more.” Takebayashi chuckled, “People are about to resort to emailing you.”

“Oh my god, I completely forgot that I had that on my phone guys, I’m sorry!” you laughed, “I’ll make sure I’ve got the notifications set up on it righ-”

“I’ve got it!” Ritsu chirped… from your phone.

“Okay, thaaat works too I guess.” you looked up at the others, “So, have I missed anything important?”

“More Octopus Balls!” Ritsu giggled.

You buried your face in your palm as the kids laughed, “I left myself open for that one, I guess.”

“But yeah, no, mostly just Mimura wanting to help with Ritsu’s new camera rig.” Kimura grinned, “Oh and you still owe us a picture.”

“Shit. You’re right. I’ll post that after drills.” you nodded to him.

“The only other thing you missed is Okajima whining about his porn trap from yesterday.” Hinano smirked, “He’s still mad about it.”

The lot of you started walking up the hill. You shook your head, “I mean it wasn’t a bad idea. Korosensei certainly was _glued_ to those things.”

“He showed me his research. It was shockingly thorough.” Takebayashi said.

“Something for your video in Okinawa huh?” you chuckled. You needed to remember to ask Okajima about getting copies of those photos.

Kimura nodded with a grin, “Oh, it’s going to be great.”

“So, you guys excited about the trip?”

“Yeah!” Hinano grinned, “Are you?”’

You gave a nod, trying not to think about the anxiety you had about the assassination plans, “I’ve never been to Okinawa so I’m looking forward to it!”

You arrived at the schoolhouse and spotted a few of the other kids heading around to the back.

“Good, we’re not late.” Kimura sighed.

When you rounded the back, you found that some of the class were already practicing shots. Irina was lounging in a deck chair watching them. Karasuma stood nearby, supervising.

Karasuma looked at you and gave a nod which you returned. One short trip into the schoolhouse to change and you were ready for drills. The GoPro you passed along to Chiba at Ritsu’s request. She wanted to get more accurate data for the upcoming assassination.

The kids had already taken up position on the makeshift shooting range, firing at targets of the octopus.

Seriously… where the hell were they getting these things? Was the military making them? Was Korosensei making them? You reminded yourself to ask Karasuma about that later.

You came to stand next to Irina, observing the kids.

“Oh, you brats are _adorable!_ Just look at all of you working yourselves to death!” she smirked, taking a sip of her drink.

“You should train too, Professor Bitch.” It was Mimura looking over his shoulder at her, “Your gun and knife skills aren’t _that_ much better than ours.”

“Grownups fight dirty.” Irina chuckled, “I’ll just swoop in and steal the show from you at the last minute.”

“Isn’t telling them that like… the exact opposite of what you should do though?” you looked over at her.

“Shut up! Nobody asked you.” she turned her attention back to her drink.

“They have a point, Irina.” the voice came from behind you, “Since when did you become such a hotshot to be able to rest on your laurels? Some things never change, I suppose.”

Irina choked on her drink and looked up, “Lovro, sir!”

When you turned, you saw that it was the man whose arm you had patched up.

“He’s here as a special instructor for the summer break to give us tips on our strategy from a pro’s perspective. He seemed like the obvious choice.” Karasuma explained.

“What have I told you? Rest for one day and you begin to lose your muscle memory! Unless you want to fail, get changed. Now!” Lovro barked at her.

You thought Irina was fast running down the mountain. She bolted into the schoolhouse with a, “Yes, sir!”

“What’d’ya know. Someone even Miss Bitch doesn’t dare mouth off to.” Sugaya chuckled.

Maehara looked his way, “Can’t say I blame her. He’s one scary dude.” 

Karasuma turned to Lovro, “Thank you for your cooperation.”

It was… something to see these two men being so amicable after one had broken the other’s wrist.

Then again that just seemed to be another aspect of this class…

“Don’t thank me yet. I couldn’t contact the assassins who’d shown the most promise for assistance in your endeavors.” Lovro looked irritated.

“Were they scared off knowing how difficult the target is?” Karasuma asked.

“Perhaps. I expect better from my former students but...” he cast a baleful glance in Irina’s direction, “I may have gotten soft on them in my old age.” he sighed, “No matter. We will simply need to rely on what we have. Our target isn’t here, correct? There is no chance he’s spying on us?”

Karasuma gave a nod, “Yes. He had a trip to Everest planned. Not a big fan of the heat. My men are keeping a close eye on him though.”

His… men? How the hell did he have men on Everest? Where were they even? Camping out there wasn’t a walk in the park...

“Good. A confidential strategy is _essential_ for assassination.” 

Okano looked over, “You’re an assassination broker, aren’t you, Mr. Lovro? Will you be sending in someone else again?”

“Those I tried to contact were not available… but perhaps it is for the best. It’s difficult to pit anyone against Korosensei. His acute sense of smell means that he can tell when outsiders are approaching. I’ve sent in professionals without your knowledge before. All have failed.”

The kids stared at him, looking uncomfortable. You could understand why. Other assassins being called in on their bounty and the fact that Korosensei avoided them without alerting the class whatsoever was definitely intimidating.

Lovro continued, “Your teacher can detect the scent of their murderous intentions. He memorizes their signature scent and won’t even let them near the classroom a second time.”

You remembered his description of your scent.

_Spice… a bit fall-like I suppose. Warm._

It was still such a strange concept to you that he could just… do that.

What did murderous intentions even smell like?

“What this means,” Lovro adjusted his gloves, “Is that I can’t use an assassin I’ve already used. The three I had in mind for this mission haven’t responded to my requests. Therefore, even if I _could_ , at the moment, I don’t have any assassins to deploy. Which means it is up to all of you. Now, may I see the plans?”

Karasuma passed him a… rather lightweight looking packet of information. He flipped through it, “I see. Neutralize the seven promised tentacles. Take advantage of his reduced speed to allow for the entire class to finish him off. So far, so good. Now, what is this first step here? Psyche attack?”

Nagisa stepped up, “Well, the idea is to throw him off guard. He slows down significantly when he’s panicked or freaked out. So, we figured we’d get in his head first.”

Maehara grinned, “We caught him scavenging for porn yesterday and he tried to buy our silence with a round of popsicles. As if that’d be enough to get us to keep our mouths shut! We’re gonna shame him by bringing that up in front of the whole class!”

“It would really mess with him if we threatened to blackmail him. So we’ll corner him with what we have on him… it’s kind of a lot.” Nagisa smirked.

“Your methods are quite brutal.” Lovero chuckled. “That said, the key is the final, killing blow. Pinpoint timing and accurate aim will be crucial.”

Karasuma looked over at him, a touch of concern on his features, “Are you worried about the class’s marksmanship?”

“Not at all. On the contrary, those two, in particular, are outstanding.” Lovro gave a nod to where Chiba and Hayami were shooting.

There was a touch of pride in Karasuma’s voice, “That one’s Chiba Ryunosuke. Excels in spatial calculations. As a long-range sniper, I daresay he’s second to none. Then there’s Rinka Hayami. Good balance, admirable dexterity. Unparalleled kinetic visual acuity. There’s no one better for taking down a moving target. They work well as a team.”

“They have all the makings of professionals. To the point, focused. They let their results do the talking.” Lovro nodded, “I would love to have them as students of my own. To be honest, I would be pleased to have any of this class as my proteges. I am amazed by how well their talents have grown in so short a time. You’ve done excellent work with them. There is much potential here. In my professional opinion, they have a good chance of this plan succeeding.”

Karasuma gave a nod.

That… hm…

Well, you’d felt a little relieved knowing that Korosensei was training but…

This did not help the anxiety any.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and looked over to see Karasuma, “We should get started.”

You gave a nod.

You weren’t looking forward to _this_ either.

Self-defense was already a nerve-wracking set of lessons for you, couple that with it being against Karasuma of all people and it felt like a nightmare. The lessons had begun in earnest after Takaoka’s dismissal and they had been hard. The first few sessions had focused on defense only, getting out of holds, blocking strikes, and such. But now he was incorporating offense. Which was possibly your biggest weakness. At first, you’d tried to argue that you only needed defense. Karasuma had shut you down quickly by asking, _‘Do you think defense alone would have stopped Takaoka?’_.

You hated that he was right.

The biggest issue was, according to Karasuma, your mindset. You had to agree. It was difficult to get to a place where you were okay with striking another person. Not to mention that hitting Karasuma, even if he was carrying a pad and letting you do it, was intimidating.

After another lackluster strike he sighed and stepped back for a minute, surveying you, “Alright, let’s try this...” looking across the field, he called out, “Terasaka! Okano!”

The pair looked over, confused but approached as he gave them a wave.

“What’s your biggest fear in all of this, Mx. Reader?” he looked firmly at you.

“Uh...” you thought about it for a second, “I don’t like seeing others get hurt.”

“Specifically you don’t like seeing the _students_ get hurt.” he gave you a look, “You’ve got no qualms throwing yourself into the fray. So...” he turned to the students, “Go at Mx. Reader with everything you’ve got.”

“What?!” you stared at him and immediately had to dodge a haymaker from Terasaka.

“Your students are capable. You know this up here.” he tapped his head, while you scrambled to duck away from Okano’s kicks, “But you need to experience their capabilities for yourself. You’re going to have to fight back, hit them, learn that neither of you is going to die from a single punch.”

Okay, you could get that, you guessed but-

Okano’s leg swung your way again and you blocked but god damn did that hurt. You heard Terasaka approach from behind and made an attempt at knocking his legs out from under him but instead found yourself down in the dirt with the boy on top of you.

Panic. Anger. Fear.

Not a great situation but-

You grabbed at his arms, locking them around yours to the best of your ability, and rolled.

It certainly wasn’t graceful and he got a kick or two in but you were able to get him on his back and get away.

“Good, but at some point you’re going to have to start hitting back.” Karasuma barked.

The boy was scrambling to his feet and Okano was coming at you from the side. You rounded, sweeping her leg out from under her. She fell heavily into the dirt and your first instinct was to make sure she was okay, but you didn’t have time to think because Terasaka had seized you from behind. You twisted, pulling your arms out of his grasp before tackling him to the ground.

“Good, but where’s your follow through?” Karasuma asked, “And what about your other opponent?”

You felt a kick land heavily in your side, knocking the wind out of you, Terasaka made short work of pinning you to the ground.

“They have no issue hitting you.” Karasuma said, “And neither will anyone else you come up against. Now, let’s try that again.”

Karasuma was hard to hit but the students were even harder for an entirely different set of reasons. True, they weren’t as quick as he was and you could often get your defense and blocks up in time, but hitting them? That was a whole other ball of wax.

“Come on, Doc, we’re not made of glass!” Terasaka laughed, taking another swing at you.

“Yeah! It’s not like you’ll KO any of us. We’ve had a lot worse than you!” Okano threw a kick that you barely avoided.

_Trust them, Reader._

_Have faith in our students._

Okay… time to put your money where your mouth is.

Terasaka threw another swing and you deflected it, bringing your elbow up in a glancing blow to his jaw. He ducked to the side with a grin, “There ya go!”

“Hope you keep it up!” Okano came at you with a kick and you spun to the side, throwing your arm into her back as she passed you.

“Still too light.” Karasuma called over to you, “What are you going to do if you run your mouth to another guy like Takaoka? If it’s one of the assassins coming for the octopus they’re not going to think twice about putting you down.”

You hadn’t thought of th-

Your pause cost you as Terasaka struck you solidly in the jaw. You wheeled back, thankfully not hitting the ground outright. 

Karasuma’s voice was sharp, “Don’t get distracted. Always keep your eye on your opponent!”

You ducked another kick from Okano, scrabbling across the dirt. Terasaka advanced and you took a gamble, rolling away and popping up. Not the best. You stumbled, but it got you distance.

Another punch coming at your midsection, you sidestepped grabbing his arm and throwing him forward with his own momentum. He landed face down in the first. You straddled his back, grabbing his hair.

Only to get kicked again by Okano.

Ohhhhh you were starting to get pissed off by this.

You rolled off of Terasaka, panting.

“Take five!” Karasuma said.

Okano pulled Terasaka up and Karasuma offered you his hand, hauling you to your feet.

“Better.” he gave a nod and looked to Okano and Terasaka, “From now on, the two of you have two targets.”

“Huh?” Terasaka looked at him, confused.

Okano gave the evilest grin you had ever seen, “We get to come after Mx. Reader during school too?”

“Until they can get regular hits on you, yes.” Karasuma nodded.

“What?!” you looked at him.

He smirked, “Gotta desensitize you somehow.” He clapped you on the shoulder, “Go get something to drink, you’re going to need it.”

You sighed and made your way over to your bag that you’d left on the steps, pulling out your water bottle. Lovro was walking along the line of students, giving advice.

“Keep your breathing in mind. Don’t force it. Find a shooting style that works for you.” he was addressing Takebayashi.

“Mr. Lovro, sir?” Nagisa had approached him.

“Yes?” the man turned to look at the boy, he cut one hell of an imposing figure in that coat.

How the hell he was surviving this heat in it was beyond you.

Nagisa looked at him in earnest, “The only professional assassins I’ve met are Professor Bitch and you. But… of all the assassins _you_ know, who is the best?”

Lovro gave a chuckle, “So, you’re interested in the world of assassins, eh?”

“N-not exactly...”

“Well, the assassin you speak of isn’t one of mine but there’s no question as to who holds the title. As is often the case in this line of work, no one knows his real name. His alias, however, is known by anyone who works in our business. He is called “The Reaper.”

You choked on your water, coughing. Maehara looked your way, “You okay, Doc?”

You gave a nod, “Just… went down the wrong way. ‘M fine...”

“His name is a bit predictable, isn’t it?” Lovro chuckled, “But in our world he’d earned the title. Mysterious. Elusive. Cold as ice. Trails of dead in his wake. Only death itself is a better killer. If you continue to fail to kill your target, he’s bound to appear sooner or later. In fact, he may even be watching us as we speak.”

Lovro was talking about _him_ like this.

That was enough to cement in your mind just how _dangerous_ Korosensei had been…

But all your could picture was that stupid yellow octopus in pajamas hanging out in a pillowfort in your living room.

You had to struggle not to laugh at the absolute absurdity of it all.

“Mx. Reader!” Karasuma waved you back over, “Break’s over!”

Greaaat...

An hour later and you were sore, tired, and still hadn’t managed a satisfactory hit on either of your students.

Who barely looked winded.

“Alright, that’s enough for today.” Karasuma nodded, “Tomorrow we’ll build on that.”

You gave a nod.

“Sorry about that, Mx. Reader.” Okano gave you a smile.

“It’s fine… I just gotta get used to it.”

“Boy do you ever,” Terasaka smirked, heading back over to his group.

Okano patted your shoulder, “You’ll get it, don’t worry.”

You gave her a nod, “Thanks.”

Oh… wait, you had something to do.

Nagisa was currently practicing… something with Lovro. You weren’t sure what exactly. Most of the other kids were sitting around on the steps. You made a beeline for Maehara first.

“‘Ey, Doc. Looks like Okano really got one over on you.” he grinned.

“Yeah, she’s terrifying.” you pulled out your water bottle, downing the rest of the contents, “So, Okinawa next week...”

“Yeah!” he grinned, “It’s going to be a blast!”

You gave him a long look.

He looked a touch nervous, “What? You’re looking at me like Okano does half the time.”

You laughed at that and shook your head, “So, you’re not still making hotel plans _are_ you?”

He faltered, “Ah… well… Karasuma kinda jumped my case about that. Said I wasn’t taking the assassination seriously.”

“...when did he hear about it?”

Okajima smirked, “When Maehara was bragging about it earlier.”

Maehara went pink, “I was just making plans.”

“Kid, look,” you laughed, “You’re too young to be trying to set up a hotel room for you and a- what was it you called them? bikini-clad babe?- to shack up in.”

Maehara made a face and Okajima laughed. You rounded on him, “And _you_.”

The boy went pale.

“I’m not going to say ‘don’t go looking for porn’ because I know that’s next to impossible to enforce for anyone your age. But, that being said,” you pointed at him, “Getting adults to buy it for you in your neighborhood can get dicey. You don’t know their intentions. For all you know, they’re a creep who's going to ask for more than money in exchange. There are people who will creep on you regardless of your gender. That’s not just a girl problem.”

He winced at the implication, “Jeez...”

“You know I’m right.” you gave a nod, “Use your head. We’re teaching all of you better than that.”

The two boys nodded, slightly shamefaced, “Yes, Mx. Reader.”

“I will say, though, Okajima. That was one hell of a smart trap.” you chuckled, “Definitely thinking outside of the box. Also, I need copies of those pictures.”

He looked at you skeptically, “Why?”

“You’re not the only ones who like psyching out the octopus,” you smirked.

He and Maehara both grinned.

Okay… two down…

You looked across the field. Takebayashi was paused, reloading his weapon, perfect. You approached him when he spotted you. He looked nervous. You assumed it was because of the last time you had a conversation with him one on one.

“Takebayashi, can I speak with you?”

He nodded, pushing up his glasses nervously.

“Relax, it’s nothing bad. I just wanted to talk to you about your answer on that pop quiz I gave.”

“Oh… ”

“Walk with me.” you gestured for him to follow and he did, gun propped over his shoulder.

When you were sure you were out of earshot of the other kids, you looked over at him, “So… your family...”

He gave an awkward nod.

"Your grades have been up. What's the trouble?" 

"Yes, but... it's still not perfect..." he looked away, “Not good enough to get into the University of Tokyo...”

“... do you want to be a doctor?” you asked him.

“I’m not… opposed to the idea.” he didn’t sound sure.

“I’m surprised you’re not going into research. You and Ritsu seem to be the go-to team for that sort of thing in class ” you smirked.

He paused and gave a bit of a shrug, “I suppose… I’m not certain how my family would take it though.”

“You said in your answer that they weren’t acknowledging you. What did you mean by that?”

He cleared his throat, “Ah… well… they’ve barely spoken to me since I was put in E Class.”

You looked at him in surprise, “Really?”

He gave a nod, “They work most of the time anyway so it’s not... ” he gave a small shrug, “It’s not too unusual but...”

“But it doesn’t feel good.” you looked at him, “And it’s not very kind of them.”

He nodded.

“So… you’re working on bringing up your grades so you can leave E Class?”

“That’s… part of it, yes.” he sighed, “I’ll need better grades for high school and college anyway, especially if I go into the medical field. But… it would be nice if Mom would at least look at me during dinner.”

You winced. Yikes kid…

“I’m just… I’m worried that everyone is going to be...” he looked out at his classmates.

“You don’t want them to be angry with you.”

He nodded.

“They’re all part of E Class. They’ve seen the system.” you gestured, “I think they might understand more than you think.”

He made a face and sighed, “I’m not sure about that...”

“Well, I will support you. You know that right?”

He looked at you in surprise.

“It’s your choice.” you simply said, “Not your class’, not your family’s, not your teacher’s. It’s yours alone.”

“I don’t know about that...” he looked away.

“I do.” you put a hand on his shoulder, “It’s your life. You are the one who controls it. Even if it doesn’t always feel that way. You think my family was ecstatic that I moved thousands of miles away to a country they’ve never seen?” you shook your head, “Your choices will affect your life. You can’t set that aside for everyone around you because at the end of the day, the person who is going to live with those choices isn’t them. It’s you.”

He didn’t look sure but he did look like he was considering things.

“I’m not going to tell you which choice to pick, but whatever you choose? I’ll support it.” you gave him a smile.

He nodded, still looking a little dumbfounded by the support, “Th-thanks...”

“If you ever need to talk about it, my door is open. Okay?”

He gave another business-like nod, and when he spoke he sounded a bit more sure of himself, “Okay.”

You patted his shoulder and gave a wave, trotting off to your next target…

Who was still talking with Lovro.

You approached at a distance, watching the two of them and listening.

Lovro was speaking, his voice steady and rough, “I called this an insta-kill technique but this isn't a technique that will kill your opponent. Killing your opponent under the perfect circumstances is a routine job for any trained assassin. But circumstances don't always work out perfectly in real life. Especially when your target is a skilled professional. Such a target will never permit the creation of an ideal circumstance for an assassin. In fact, they will note our presence and change the assassination into a battle-on their terms. And reinforcements are bound to arrive if you take the time to fight him. So you must kill him as soon as possible. This move creates the perfect setup to kill your target in such a critical situation. By doing something out of the ordinary during a fight you can change the battle into an assassination again. Now, don’t be fooled. It only looks easy. Therein lies the beauty. Allow me to demonstrate."

Lovro leapt forward, clapping his hands together towards the boy's face. Nagisa stumbled backward in surprise and the assassin chuckled, "Now. You try. From a standing position as fast as you can and as far as you can. Aim to create the loudest sound possible."

Nagisa lunged forward. While the effect wasn't as dramatic or as loud as Lovro's, it was still certainly not something you'd expect in a fight.

"Harder than it looks, isn't it? That's because you hardly ever make a move like that in your everyday life. And that is precisely why it will be a surprise attack. Practice it so you can use this move perfectly if you should ever need it."

"But... Mr. Lovro.. isn't this?"

He chuckled, giving a nod, "It's known as a nekodamashi in sumo wrestling. To perform it effectively you must point one hand straight out at your opponent from the middle of your body. Strike the other hand upon the palm of that hand as if you're shooting a mass of sound from between you hands. Execution of this move has nothing to do with a sumo's skill but even an imperfect sound can disrupt your opponent's concentration for a fraction of a second. For an assassin, to lose focus even for a moment, can mean their death. It is frightening." he chuckled, "It is akin to your psyche attack in that way. Your opponent will already be on edge, ready to attack, and your unexpected sound will stun them."

"But... wait, how can you do the clap if you have a weapon in your hands?" Nagisa asked.

"That is part of the technique. For it to work three criteria must be met. First, have at least two weapons on hand. Second, you must be pitted against an expert. Third, and most importantly, your opponent must already know what it means to face death."

Nagisa nodded, listening with rapt attention.

"A skilled opponent will keep their eyes on your every move. Which makes their focus narrow. The time to use this move is when your opponent is just outside the reach of your knife. The closer you get, the more they will be focused on the knife in your hands. While their focus is there, you drop the weapon. They will not have time to react as you move forward into the nekodamashi. Once they are stunned you draw your second blade and end their life."

“Okay. Two weapons and an opponent who is an expert who has faced death.” Nagisa nodded, “I’ll be sure to practice it.”

Lovro nodded, “I will be ready to assist should you need.”

Nagisa nodded and gave the man a small bow before noticing you. You waved him over. Lovro made his way back towards the schoolhouse.

“Hey, Mx. Reader. What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about that question that I put on your pop quiz.”

The boy’s whole demeanor changed in an instant. It reminded you of yesterday when you’d come up behind him on the trail. He gave a nod for you to continue.

"So... Home’s kind of rough, huh?" you gestured for him to walk with you around the track.

He followed, the tension still held in his shoulders, "Yeah... I mean it's not all bad all the time…” you’d heard that all too often from people in truly terrible situations, “but it can get kind of... intense."

"How often do things get... intense?"

"Just... Well, when she's had a bad day or something or I say the wrong thing..." he gave a shrug, “She’s been stressed out with the divorce...”

“What about your dad? Does he know?” you looked over at him.

“It’s… it’s kind of why he left. Her mood swings.” 

“I take it she’s not sought counseling.”

He shook his head, “Oh hell no. She went off on Dad when he suggested it.”

“Why can’t you stay with your dad?”

“Mom would totally freak out.” he made a face, “She’s already mad I tie my hair up.”

“...she’s mad about you wearing your hair up? Why?”

“Ah… well… see, she kind of wanted a girl...” he looked visibly uncomfortable, “So she makes me keep my hair long...”

“But you’d like it short.”

He nodded, “Yeah... ”

“What would she do if you cut it do you think?”

The boy looked at you with that intense stare that you saw on him sometimes and when he spoke, you were certain he _absolutely_ believed what he was saying, “She would kill me.”

Suddenly, a lot of things clicked into place about Nagisa.

You’d seen similar cases before. Not exactly like this, of course, but you had known students who could read a room, predict unstable people, and such because of their home life. You’d known a girl who could move silently through buildings. Another boy could tell where anyone in his house was based on listening to their movements. Talents developed to avoid their abusive parents. One girl had an insane reaction time which she used a lot in sports. You’d found out it was a side effect of always being on guard at home.

For Nagisa, his handling of Takaoka was telling. Clinical, quick, calm, and polite afterwards. The boy might as well have been tapped into the man’s nervous system.

Trauma taught lessons and skills but at a high cost.

“Would you like me to speak with her?”

“No! No, no. Uh… please, Mx. Reader, just… don’t do that?” he looked panicked.

“Alright,” you held up your hands, “I won’t. But what can I do to help?”

He looked a little confused by that for a moment, “I’m… I’m not sure. I kinda just… wanted to talk about it.”

You gave a nod, “We can do that any time you like.”

He let out a little sigh of relief, “Thanks, Mx. Reader.” he looked up as Kayano waved to him, “I uh… I gotta go. Talk to you later?”

You nodded, “Sure.”

He ran off to join his companions.

Well…

Today had been enlightening.

On the train home, you remembered something, “Oh… hey, Ritsu. Korosensei wanted me to ask you what he said to you while he was upgrading you.”

“Sure thing! Let me stream the audio file!”

“Oh, okay...” you put in your earbuds, listening.

Ritsu spoke, “Playback initiated.”

 _“Don’t go crying to mommy and daddy.”_ Korosensei’s voice came across clear as day.

Did she record _every_ conversation like this?

_“Huh?”_

_“They can’t take this class for you or do your homework. Besides, you're a student, a transfer student at that, which makes you my responsibility. I realize it’s no picnic being the new kid. It’s hard to fit in. But if we can just find a way to make the other boys and girls warm up to you...”_

_“Fit in? Sir, I am installed in this space with plenty of clearance-”_

He chuckled, _“No, no. To fit into the social circle of the classroom! You need to learn to work with the other students. Now, can you appreciate why the other boys and girls are foiling your assassination attempts? For starters, they’re here to learn and your methods are enormously disruptive. For another, they’re the ones that have to clean up the mess you make. On top of that, if you happened to succeed, the reward money will go to your ‘parents’, not to them. So, letting you kill me has no upshot for them whatsoever.”_

_“I believe I am beginning to understand, Korosensei. I didn’t factor my classmates’ interests into my strategy.”_

_“Nurufufufu! You_ are _a fast learner. Not to worry, my dear. I have just the thing for you. Additional RAM and a cache of helpful apps. All virus-free. No tricks, rest assured. You’re gonna love this!”_

There were sounds of shuffling and things being plugged in.

_“Explain.”_

_“Teamwork simulation software, designed to help you bond with your fellow classmates. Cooperation is key, you understand. We want that probability rate_ up! _What do you say?”_

_“I have no objections.”_

_“In general, working well with others is an important ingredient to personal success. Think of it. Wouldn’t you enjoy having friends?”_

_“I do not know how to make them.”_

There was the sound of a heavy thunk, like something being placed on a desk.

_“Well, as you can see, I came prepared!”_

_“What is that?”_

_“Everything you need to be a team player! And_ then some _. Korosensei does not subject his students to harm. But what sort of teacher would I be if I didn’t enhance your innate capabilities? Think of it like a trip to the beauty parlor… with power tools.”_

There were sounds of rustling, metal being unscrewed and what sounded like a panel being removed. Very faintly you heard Korosensei whisper, _“Top of the mornin’ to ya’...”_

_“I do not understand why you are doing this, sir. Any enhancement you give me will only shorten your lifespan.”_

_“So be it then. I’m a teacher first, target second. From the moment you opened fire on me yesterday, I knew that unquenchable thirst for knowledge was something I simply_ had _to nurture. You are far more capable than any AI in existence so far. Your parents installed, uh, instilled, rather, many a marvelous gift. As your teacher, it is my job to develop those gifts even further. Everything a teacher does is focused on making their students the best they can be. I want you to learn how to cooperate with others and help you to hone those skills. Once the other children have taken a liking to you, your whole worldview will change. Count on it.”_

_“Question, sir. What cooperative function is served by this World Sweets Checklist?”_

Korosensei gives a yelp and nervous laughter, _“Uh, well, uh, nothing specific, really. I just thought you could help me out with something, too! Was I asking too much?”_

There was a pause, _“...I think I can utilize this as part of my strategy.”_

Korosensei sounded relieved, _“Good. Now then, we’ll need to also update your image. Your current display is nice but being more expressive will help your cooperative abilities. Which is why I’ve brought along this.”_

You heard him place something on the floorboards.

_“What is it?”_

_“A full-body LCD touchscreen display. This should allow you to both represent yourself better to your classmates and interact with them on a more personal level!”_

_“Accepted.”_

The next several minutes were the sounds of work being done.

 _“Now, just about finished up aaaaand…”_ you heard the click of the panel being replaced, _“there. Spend some time tonight sorting through what I’ve provided you with. I’ll be more than happy to answer any questions you have. You should have my number I believe?”_

_“Yes. I have it here.”_

_“Excellent. I will see you in class tomorrow. Make sure you wake up ready to kill!”_

_“Of course, Korosensei...”_ there was a pause, _“Thank you.”_

_“You’re very welcome, my dear.”_

“Playback complete.”

You sat there for a moment, thinking over what you had just heard.

_I’m a teacher first, target second._

_As your teacher, it is my job to develop those gifts even further._

_Everything a teacher does is focused on making their students the best they can be._

And then… this morning…

_If you have promised to share information with them. I believe you should._

_Sometimes we teach hard lessons and sometimes we have to learn from our own actions._

You sighed. You didn’t have to tell them everything… but he was right. You had promised you could share the intel that you had with them… and you certainly had enough that they might be able to use.

You would have to parse out what to give them tonight.


	59. Octopus Intel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

At home, you flipped through your notes.

Things not related to his background…

Hm…

Okay… that list was actually… shorter than you thought it was.

That… well, that actually made you feel a little better.

You flipped through your phone and located the icon for the chat Ritsu had installed. It seemed to be something she’d made?

Time to kick this off.

**Mx. Reader:** So, since you guys did so well on the exams…

**Taiga Okajima:** oh my god they're alive.

The chat erupted into 'OCTOPUS BALLS'.

And octopus emojis.

Lovely.

**Nagisa Shiota:** Okay guys, come on, they're trying to give us that picture!

**Mx. Reader:** One very drunk octopus coming up.

You posted the picture and the chat went nuts.

**Sōsuke Sugaya:** Why is he melting???

**Kaede Kayano:** EW!!!

**Nagisa Shiota:** What was he drinking? And how much?

**Manami Okuda:** I wonder if he melted like this before the tonic I gave him.

**Rio Nakamura:** Look at the tie around his head, what a loser.

**Kōki Mimura:** I still can’t believe Karasuma did air guitar.

**Mx. Reader:** I don’t know why he’s melting. Also, that was just from a lick of Cassius and orange.

**Rio Nakamura:** WHAT?

**Hinano Kurahashi:** What? Is it that strong?

**Rio Nakamura:** NO? Professor Bitch calls it a girly drink!

**Tōka Yada:** Yeah, she said it’s really light.

**Nagisa Shiota:** Okay…

**Rio Nakamura:** He’s a LIGHTWEIGHT. Why don’t we just give him something stronger?

**Mx. Reader:** I can tell you right now that even shitfaced he can still dodge just fine. Irina and Karasuma went after him and couldn’t do shit.

**Taiga Okajima:** What? Seriously?

**Mx. Reader:** Yeah. It was crazy.

**Kōki Mimura:** Oh hey guys! Look!

He posted some photos in the chat of a few various rigs he picked up or made for Ritsu’s GoPro.

**Ritsu:** They work excellently! I’ll be able to gather much more information for the assassination! And see more things!

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** Perfect!

**Ritsu:** ✧*.◟(ˊᗨˋ)◞.*✧ I’m excited!

That was adorable. You couldn’t help but grin.

**Hinata Okano:** Hey, Mx. Reader. I hope you’re ready for school to start back up.

**Mx. Reader:** Do I need to bring in protective gear?

**Hinata Okano:** Maybe (￣ω￣)

**Ryōma Terasaka:** And a helmet.

**Karma Akabane:** Whoa, whoa, hold up what did I miss?

**Hinata Okano:** Mr. Karasuma asked Terasaka and I to start targeting Mx Reader too.

**Karma Akabane:** Can I get in on this?

**Ryōma Terasaka:** The more the merrier!

Oh no.

Ohhhh no.

**Hinata Okano:** You should ask Mr. Karasuma first. 

Note to self:  _ Beg Karasuma to not let Karma help them. _

**Karma Akabane:** Is this revenge for the pictures you took?

**Mx. Reader:** No, it’s part of my self defense training.

**Ryōma Terasaka:** You can say you’re a wimp, it’s okay.

**Mx. Reader:** HEY!

**Hinata Okano:** They don’t want us to get hurt. Karasuma figures if they have to fight us, they’ll get used to it.

**Manami Okuda:** That’s… kind of scary.

**Tōka Yada:** Yeah…

**Nagisa Shiota:** But it makes sense. Mx. Reader needs the practice.

**Karma Akabane:** I can think of a few creative things to try…

**Mx. Reader:** Yeah and it wouldn’t involve self defense.

**Karma Akabane:** Gotta be ready for anything.

**Rio Nakamura:** He’s got a point.~

**Mx. Reader:** ANYWAY, I have more Octopus Intel if you want it.

**Nagisa Shiota:** Yes, please!

**Mx. Reader:** Well, he eats rocks first of all.

**Karma Akabane:** Yeah, the octopus can eat anything, so what?

**Mx. Reader:** Yes, but he has to eat rocks.

**Nagisa Shiota:** He has to?

**Kaede Kayano:** Rocks??

**Mx. Reader:** Yeah, apparently it's not just him showing off. He actually needs certain minerals from them.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** Wait! Is that where all those weird bite marks on the rocks near the cliff are coming from??!?

**Mx. Reader:** No idea but it sounds like him.

**Nagisa Shiota:** I wonder why…

**Mx. Reader:** It has something to do with his biology.

**Manami Okuda:** How did you figure this out???

**Mx. Reader:** He told me over lunch once.

**Nagisa Shiota:** What else has he told you?

**Mx. Reader:** Well, he apparently has a house.

**Nagisa Shiota:** What?

**Karma Akabane:** Well, I mean, he has to sleep somewhere right?

**Taiga Okajima:** Kinda just thought he was living in the schoolhouse tbh.

**Kōki Mimura:** Yeah…

**Mx. Reader:** Haven’t you guys been tracking down reports of him for your video?

**Kōki Mimura:** Well, yeah, but like… we can’t exactly follow him. He goes Mach 20!

**Mx. Reader:** Also his house is in Japan… but he’s not Japanese.

**Karma Akabane:** Called it, pay up Nakamura.

**Rio Nakamura:** Are you serious? HAVE YOU SEEN THE GUIDEBOOKS HE WRITES?

**Tōka Yada:** Yeah but I mean, come on, have you seen everything he does?

**Rio Nakamura:** ...fair. I’ll pay you next time we have drills Karma.

**Karma Akabane:** But that means I have to show up to drills.

**Rio Nakamura:** (•̀⌄•́)

**Karma Akabane:** You sneaky bitch.

**Tomohito Sugino:** Hey! Mx. Reader, you remembered the chat exists!

**Mx. Reader:** oTL Yes, yes I did.

**Nagisa Shiota:** So, anything else?

**Mx. Reader:** Yeah, actually.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** Man, you’ve been studying, huh?

**Mx. Reader:** I’ve been taking notes but I haven’t had a chance to sit down and really share them with you.

**Rinka Hayami:** So? What else do you have?

**Mx. Reader:** Let me just toss the rest in here hold on.

**Mx. Reader:** PH of the water doesn’t change the effect water has on him but the amount of water does. He bets on horse racing. He apparently has the top two scores at three different arcades in Tokyo. He can tell people apart and tell their emotions by smell.

**Mx. Reader:** Which I guess, given what Lovro was saying today, everyone knew but me but whatever.

**Mx. Reader:** He also doesn’t really sleep.

Several people are typing…

Oh boy.

**Manami Okuda:** I thought so! So, we don’t need to worry about the PH… what about the fact that it’s saltwater?

**Yukiko Kanzaki:** Wait… is that who OCTO is? He broke my score!! (ꐦಠ ಠ)

**Masayoshi Kimura:** The horse racing sounds like something you could use, Mimura!

**Kōki Mimura:** Maybe!

**Tomohito Sugino:** He doesn’t sleep?

**Nagisa Shiota:** What do you mean by ‘doesn’t really sleep’?

**Karma Akabane:** So that’s why he saw me coming in Kyoto at the inn then.

**Nagisa Shiota:** You’re right, if he doesn’t sleep…

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** That explains why he seems to have endless time for things.

Oh if only you knew Takebayashi…

You sighed.

**Ritsu:** He normally visits me at the school on Wednesday nights to catch up on his shows. That explains why he’s awake at odd hours.

**Mx. Reader:** Idk about saltwater, Okuda.

**Mx. Reader:** From what I understand, Nagisa, he doesn’t need to sleep like we do? Like he sorta just… zones out?

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** So even if Okuda could formulate something to knock him out it probably wouldn’t work.

**Manami Okuda:** Hmmm… Maybe I’ve been approaching this the wrong way. Maybe I need to see if I can destabilize his cells? I’ll have to ask Mr. Karasuma for a sample of the anti-sensei agent. Maybe I can find another way to use it…

Well that was… mildly horrifying.

**Nagisa Shiota:** Anything else?

**Mx. Reader** : ...Well, apparently he’s got revealing sleepwear.

SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING.

**Kōki Mimura:** PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE A PICTURE THAT WOULD BE PERFECT FOR THE VIDEO!

**Takuya Muramatsu:** I’m sorry, I JUST CAUGHT UP. WHAT??

**Taisei Yoshida:** What the hell…

**Sōsuke Sugaya:** Gross.

**Kaede Kayano:** That’s twisted.

**Tomohito Sugino:** I think I’m past the point of surprised.

**Taiga Okajima:** Told ya. Freak. The man has tentacles. Has to be a freak.

**Megu Kataoka:** The only freak here is you, Okajima.

**Taiga Okajima:** I don’t have lingerie, sweetheart.

**Megu Kataoka:** Call me sweetheart one more time and I’m making YOU my target.

**Taiga Okajima:** ♡

**Megu Kataoka:** (ﾒ` ﾛ ´)︻デ═一

**Taiga Okajima:** (oT-T)尸

**Yūma Isogai:** Just finished catching up. Jeez… Maybe we can use this though.

**Kirara Hazama:** Okay but why do you know that the octopus has lingerie?

**Karma Akabane:** Hey, that’s a real good question Hazama.

**Rio Nakamura:** So, Mx. Reader. How DO you know that?

**Yuzuki Fuwa:** Well, duh. Clearly Mx. Reader has a secret relationship with Korosensei! 

Shit?

SHIT?

**Kaede Kayano:** Somehow I don’t think so.

**Karma Akabane:** Dunno, they are pretty chummy.

**Yuzuki Fuwa:** They met outside of the classroom one fateful night before Mx. Reader got hired. He was in disguise. When he found out they would be working together he dramatically revealed that it was him they were in love with! And they have to keep it secret because they’re coworkers and Asano would fire them both if he found out! OR maybe it's because Mx. Reader’s jealous ex, Mr. Karasuma is working alongside them!

**Karma Akabane:** Fuwa you gotta learn to quit when you’re ahead.

**Yuzuki Fuwa:** Hey! They’re being pretty quiet. (¬ω¬)

Fuck.

**Mx. Reader:** Omg, kids, no. It came up during the nomikai. He was drunk.

**Mx. Reader:** Also, no, I don’t have a picture.

**Mx. Reader:** And I’ve never dated Mr. Karasuma. ʅฺ(・ω・。)ʃฺ？？

**Kōki Mimura:** Damn.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** No one cares about your crack ships, Fuwa.

**Yuzuki Fuwa:** One day I’m going to be RIGHT and you guys are going to feel SO STUPID.

**Hiroto Maehara:** OMFG, I can’t go on one date without you guys blowing up my phooooone. ꉂ `o´ )

**Hinata Okano:** I thought you said you were packing tonight?

**Kirara Hazama:** Busted~

**Hiroto Maehara:** (°-°)

**Hinata Okano:** (-_-;)・・・

**Tomohito Sugino:** Way to go buddy.

**Taiga Okajima:** Who’s your date? Anyone I know?

**Ritsu:** He went offline.

**Hinata Okano:** Of fucking course he did.

**Mx. Reader:** Okay guys, I need to make some dinner. I promise I’ll check the chat more often.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** Kay! Talk to you later, Mx. Reader!

**Mx. Reader:** Later!


	60. Just Wanna Talk to You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

As you headed to the kitchen to heat up something your phone pinged.

A message from one 🐙🎓

You opened it.

[Not missing me too terribly I hope?]

[Too busy being hassled by the kids for information.]

[Oh?]

[Gave them what I had minus your tragic backstory of course.]

[Good… thank you for that.]

[Also told them you have lingerie.]

[WHAT?!  ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ  ]

[I mean you said share information with them.  ( •̀ ω •́ )  ]

[ ( ;°Д°) ]

[Hey want to hear something funny?]

[  (`ー´) ]

[So, at drills, Nagisa was asking Lovro about assassins.]

[He was?]

[Yeah. And Lovro started telling him the story about this one assassin.]

[Oh?]

[Mysterious. Elusive. Cold as ice.~]

[There are a few I know of who fit that description...] 

[Trails of dead in his wake. Only death itself is a better killer.]

[OH NO]

[Known to everyone in the business as… ~~The Reaper~~]

[READER WHY?! щ(ºДºщ) ]

[What? Too serious for you?]

[Mercy. Please!]

[Yep.]

[What?]

[I definitely like it when you beg.]

[ (*° ་། °)=3 ]

O-oh…

Well then…

You pulled out some instant ramen. It was that kind of evening.

[So, how goes things at Everest?]

[It’s challenging.]

[Challenging?]

[It requires simulating the assassination.]

Simulating…

Wait.

[What do you mean?]

[Well, I have promised the students tentacles.]

[Wait. ARE YOU CUTTING YOUR TENTACLES OFF?]

[Yes. But it’s fine! I’m regenerating fine! There’s nothing to worry about!]

[How can I NOT be worried about that? Karasuma has people watching you! What if they try to do something?!]

[Oh, not to worry. I have a decoy. They have no idea what I’m up to.]

[What?]

[I have a decoy. They can’t see where I am. Not to mention, this is Everest. Surviving here for your average human is difficult, nevermind trying to complete an assassination.]

He…

He was right.

You knew enough about Everest from documentaries to remember that much…

[Okay...]

[I promise you, I’m fine.]

A picture was attached. He was…

Was that a cave? It looked like he was in a cave. And-

That was a pin up on the wall.

Of course there was.

He was smiling as always and waving at the camera.

[What… I thought you were on Everest...]

[More accurately, I’m -in- Everest.]

Oh… so it was a cave.

[Good to see you got company. She’s cute. Should I be worried?]

[  (*ﾟдﾟ*) ]

[Not even a picture of me. I see how it is.]

[I have those on my phone!]

[I know. I’m just giving you a hard time. ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡ ]

[ (・・) ]

Aw… okay, god dammit. That was cute.

You snapped a photo of yourself and sent it to him.

[Lovely as ever.]

You leaned on the counter, face in your hands for a moment while your ramen heated up.

When you’d recovered, you snapped another photo, this time with your meal.

[Living the high life of slumming it in my pajamas and eating instant ramen for dinner.]

[Do you just not eat properly if I’m not there?]

You snorted.

[I eat fine. I’m just wiped from drills today.]

Oh… wait.

You shot him another message.

[BTW you’re not the only target in the class now.]

[?]

[Karasuma says I don’t fight hard enough. So he’s got Terasaka and Okano attacking me during school to sharpen my skills.]

[A clever strategy. Has it been working?]

[I was able to hit back… still not enough for him, though.]

[You could always train against me.~]

[And give you something else to laugh at me over? No thanks.]

[ (*≧ω≦*) ]

[Okay, I need to finish this and get a shower before bed.]

[Then I’ll let you go. (´ ε ` )♡ ]

[ (´• ω •`) ♡ ]

Hours later and you still hadn’t slept. Instead you were laying on your futon, staring at the ceiling. You were getting  _ real familiar _ with this ceiling.

God, it was quiet in here.

Briefly you considered talking to Ritsu but… let's be honest. 

That’s not who you wanted to talk to…

Rolling onto your stomach, you reached out, pulling your phone over.

What would you even say? God you felt out of practice with this sort of thing…

Even though you’d texted him no issues just a few hours ago...

[Hey...] 

Ah yes… excellent start.

Eloquent.

[ ( ◜‿◝ ) ♡ Hello! All's well, I hope?]

[Everything is good, yeah. You?]

[Well enough. Still doing research.]

[Oh, well don’t let me interrupt you...]

[Talking to you is never an interruption.]

You propped your chin up on your pillow, looking at the phone.

[Sorry, I know it’s late...]

[You’re three hours ahead of me so… it is quite late there.]

[Yeah...]

[Can’t sleep without me?]

You buried your face in the pillow, stifling a scream.

[I can…]

[Then what is on your mind?]

[I just want to talk to you.]

[I think I can arrange that.]

Incoming video call from 🐙🎓

You answered, holding the phone up.

There he was, smirking, green stripes on his face, “Already hooked on me, hmmm?”

You felt a blush rising in your cheeks, “Very funny… hold on...” you squinted at your phone, sitting up, “I’m sorry did you take one of my plushies with you?”

In the background there was a very familiar teddy bear.

He went bright pink, flailing in surprise, “OH! Uh, how did that get here?!”

You laughed, “Okay… one, I expect that back, two, why?”

“Ah… well...” He was a brilliant pink at this point, a blush coloring his cheeks.

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Itsmelledlikeyou.”

You covered your mouth, stifling your laugh. Your face was burning, “Oh my god!”

“I’m sorry, I just knewIwouldbegoneforaweekand-”

You were still laughing, “So, I’m the one hooked on YOU huh?”

“I’m so sorry I-”

“Relax,” you were chuckling, “That’s… actually really cute.”

He sat down, trying to hide his face behind one hand.

You laughed, “Reconsidering the idea of a video call now, huh?”

There was a bit of muttering from his end and you grinned.

"You sure you don't mind talking?"

He chuckled, "Reader, I called you. Of course I don't mind."

You sighed, "Thanks…" a thought occurred to you but you weren't entirely sure if you should ask…

"Nurufufufu~ You're making that detective face again. What is it?"

"Uh…Well, you've been over to my place a few times now…"

He nodded.

"I was wondering if I'll get to see your place sometime…"

He’d gone pink, "Oh…"

"I get it if that's like, too soon or too weird. I know that your situation is… unique."

He looked the slightest touch unsure. When he spoke it was soft, "I'll have to consider it. Not because I don't want to have you over, you understand. But as a target I need to worry about your safety as well."

Oh…

You hadn't thought of that.

Here you'd been picturing his home being more like some secret base…

You chuckled, "Oh come on, you can be honest. It's obviously because you need to clean."

He went a bright pink, "That too."

Cute.

“Now, a question for you.” his grin quirked up, and the familiar yellow and green stripes formed on his face.

“Oh god, what is it?”

“Nurufufufu~ Tell me, where did you get the term consentacles?”

Sonofabitch-

“It’s just a term you see online sometimes!”

His tone was absolutely infuriating, “Oh? In your monster romance circles?”

You buried your face in your pillow with a huff.

He laughed.

“You’re never letting that go are you?” you peeked up at him.

“Of course not! Why would I ever let go of such an adorable fact about you?!”

You groaned dramatically, which only earned you more cackles from his end.

“Maybe someone should just come and-” you looked up giving your best evil expression to the camera, “relieve me of my life.~”

He let out a light shriek.

“READER WHY?!”

You laughed, “What? If you get to torture me with my mistakes...”

He pouted.

“Oh come on, that face isn’t fair!” you gave him a look, “How can you even do puppy dog eyes? Your eyes are tiny!”

“It’s part of my skill set. Assassins have a wide range after all. And I did say I was charismatic!”

God, what a complete idiot.

You loved him.

“Hey… so like,” you propped your phone up, looking at it while you laid there, “You thought I was an assassin… but you liked me… how does that work?”

“I could ask the same of you. You thought I was intentionally trying to blow up the earth but you liked me.”

“Touché...”

“We’re both just too charming for our own good, I suppose.” he chuckled, there was a pause, he looked at you seriously, “During midterms, you seemed to imply that you would stay at this job… even if the assassination wasn’t ongoing. Is that correct?”

You faltered. You hadn’t expected that question, “Well… yeah. What else would I do?”

“Given the situation, many people would have already left.”

You gave a shrug, looking away, “I don’t think that’s okay… not with what these kids are going through already, especially. They need someone in their corner.”

His expression softened, “What about you?”

You almost flinched, “What?”

“Aside from me, who is in your corner, Reader?”

You made a face, this… wasn’t really where you’d wanted this convo to go.

“I’ve got friends… just not here.”

“I’m sorry…” his tone was gentle, “I simply worry about you. I… come March I want to know that you will be alright.”

He was worried about  _ you? _ God, you could have laughed.

He was the one people were actively trying to _ kill _ .

“It’s like you said.” you spoke softly, “I just need to prepare. I mean it’s going to hurt. It’s going to suck. But… I still think I made the right choice.”

A little sigh escaped him and he looked a bit relieved.

_ People who others depend on tend to carry their own burdens alone. _

Seemed like you both were going to need to grow out of that…

“Look… I’ve had a lot of people leave. But none of them have been you. And none of them were in your situation.” it was hard to talk about but you wanted to get it out there, “I need to prepare, yeah. But… I can live through it. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

There was a tension in how he’s been holding himself which melted away at that. He gave a small nod, “Good...”

“Besides, you don’t need to be worrying about ME. You are literally going to get a bunch of your limbs shot off!” you looked at him in alarm.

“I’ve been training!” he protested.

“Any results?”

“Not as of yet… but I do have a theory which I think might prove workable.”

“Let me guess, I don’t get to know it.”

“I have to keep some air of mystery!” he laughed.

“Okay, okay, keep your secrets.” you chuckled, “But hey...”

His expression shifted to a more serious one at your tone.

“Remember, no dying on me before the 6th.” you smirked.

He chuckled, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“And… if you need to talk or anything, that offer is still open. Obviously.”

Wow. Cool. Smooth.

Good job, Reader.

“I appreciate that more than you know.” his tone was warm and genuine. You felt your heart stutter in response.

There was a moment were you had to rub at your face, feeling the blush rise in your cheeks. He laughed, green stripes showing back up, “Besides, of course I’ll be fine. I’m a badass after all. At least that’s how your notes described me.~”

“Oh my god…” you buried your face in your hands again, “I forgot I WROTE that!”

He giggled. You couldn’t remotely stay irritated hearing that sound. It was infectious. You laughed too and it transformed into a yawn.

He chuckled, “Someone is tired.”

“...maybe a little.”

“Then I should let you get some sleep.” his tone was gentle, soft.

You nodded a bit reluctantly, “Okay, so maybe I am a little hooked on you.”

To your amusement, he went neon pink.

You yawned again, “You’re coming back the morning of the Okinawa trip, yeah?”

There was a pause, “I might be convinced to come back the night before...”

Oh…

“Sure you can afford to?”

“Absolutely.”

“Let me guess, you want another night in?”

You hadn’t expected his tone to shift to the hopeful note it did, “Please?”

“Like I could say no.” you gave him a grin, “I’ll check in with you tomorrow, okay?”

He nodded, “Sleep well, Reader.”

“I’d say the same but I feel like you’re going to be doing this training all night.”

He went a bit pink.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re definitely sleeping at my place.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Love you.”

“I love you too.”

And the call ended. You were left smiling in the dark.

You buried your face in your pillow again, trying to smother the stupid grin that crossed your face.

You’d get  _ another _ night with him before Okinawa.


	61. Stayin’ Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

You were doing a First Aid class today. CPR definitely needed to be covered before the trip. 

Making sure you had your lesson plan, you ran to catch the train.

You had just put your hand on the door of the nurse’s office when it hit you.

Shit. No dummy. That’s right.

You rested your forehead against the door with a sigh.

Well, fuck.

Okay.

You knew there were ways to cobble one together. Lord knows you’d see it done before in some training sessions…

You just hadn’t done it  _ yourself _ .

But that’s what the internet was for.

You headed into the office and set down your things, pulling out your laptop. Thank god you’d thought to bring it today. Staring at your phone the whole time would have been a pain.

Running a search, you pulled up a few promising sites that gave details on making your very own CPR dummy. Okay so…

Oh jeez, great. Well, this was going to take a little prep.

You really didn’t want to trek back down the mountain but-

Maybe you didn’t have to.

You unlocked your phone and pulled up the group chat with the kids.

**Mx. Reader:** Soooo, anyone up for a little extra credit?

**Rio Nakamura:** What’s up?

**Manami Okuda:** What do you need?

**Mx. Reader:** Need help with putting something together for First Aid today. You’ll have to pick up the supplies for me but it should be pretty cheap. I can pay you back once you get here.

**Rio Nakamura:** I’m down!

**Sōsuke Sugaya:** Art project?

**Mx. Reader:** ...Sorta? We’re going to be making a CPR dummy.

**Sōsuke Sugaya:** Nakamura, wanna meet up and go?

**Manami Okuda:** I’ll come too!

**Rio Nakamura:** Let’s get this show on the road then!

You shot them a list of supplies and set about getting together what you knew you had to work with in the schoolhouse. You could probably get by with putting this thing together in the nurse’s office…

While you were waiting for the kids to show you checked your phone and shot a text off.

[Guess who is getting involved in some arts and crafts?]

The response was quick. [Do they need more targets? I thought I had left enough.]

[So -you’re- the one that makes those!]

[Of course, I have to be sure my students have teaching materials!]

[Well, that’s not what we’re doing. We’re actually making a CPR dummy.]

[Oh?]

[Yep, some of the kids are coming up to assist.]

[Remember to take photos since I can’t be there! (ᗒᗣᗕ) ]

[Don’t worry, I’m sure the kids will take plenty.]

[Please.]

[So how is training?]

[It’s going well! It is a bit tedious. I can’t wait for Okinawa.]

[Feeling cooped up?]

[A bit. But I’d rather not cause undue stress to Mr. Tsuruta here by leaving unexpectedly.]

[Mr. Who?]

[Ah, Karasuma probably hasn’t introduced you. Mr. Hirokazu Tsuruta. One of his assistants.]

[Guess he drew the short straw. (¯▿¯) ]

[You could certainly put it that way. (`︶´) ]

You chuckled. [You doing okay otherwise?]

[I’m doing splendidly. (´♡‿♡`) ]

You laughed, rubbing at your face.

“Oooooooo....” there was giggling from the doorway, “Who’s that face for, Mx. Reader?~”

You jumped in surprise, looking up. Nakamura was leaning on the doorframe with a grin.

“Oh! Uh, nothing I was just looking at cat videos.”

You locked your phone, pocketing it.

She looked suspicious and Sugaya called her from the hallway, “Yo, Nakamura!”

Nakamura looked back out in the hall, “They’re in here!”

Sugaya poked his head around the corner and Okuda joined him. Both had bags in their hands.

“Oh good.” you gave them a grin. “Ready to build a man?”

“Okuda, this is perfect for you.” Nakamura chuckled. “You can go all Doctor Frankenstein.”

Okuda gave a shy smile. “I don’t think he needed a plunger...”

You waved them inside. After paying them back for the materials, you unpacked everything.

“Okay, Sugaya the tutorial for this is up on my laptop there. Nakamura, Okuda, do you think you guys can get to work on the body while Sugaya and I do this plaster nonsense?”

“Plaster?” Nakamura looked between you and Sugaya.

“The dummy needs a head.” 

“Yeaaah about that, uh...” Sugaya gave you an awkward smile.

“What?”

“They didn’t have any of the plastic masks you were looking for...” Sugaya made a face.

You looked over the unpacked supplies and realized… he was right. You sighed.

“Okay, well… dummy needs a face...” you pointed at yourself, “And I think I fit the bill.”

Nakamura laughed, “What?”

Sugaya grinned, catching your drift immediately, “Really?”

“Yeah, yeah, we should have the supplies to do it without issue...” you rolled over to the supply cabinet, looking through it. You fished out a small tub of petroleum jelly and gloves.

“Wait, what are you doing then?” Okuda asked, confused.

Sugaya grinned, “I get to cover Mx. Reader’s face in plaster to make a mannequin head. Cool, right?”

“Oh, I’m so taking pictures.” Nakamura grinned.

“Yeah, definitely do. Korosensei demanded it anyway for the yearbook.”

“Ohhhh? Is _ that  _ who you were texting?”

_ Shit shit shit abort mission _ .

“Oh nah, he texted me earlier today.” you waved a hand casually.

She didn’t look convinced.

You laughed, “Come on, you _ really _ think I-”

“You  _ do _ like Octopus Balls,” Sugaya smirked.

You rolled your eyes, “Alright, let’s get this plaster started. Did you get balloons?”

Sugaya nodded.

“Perfect. You can do my face and we’ll do the back half with a balloon.” you popped open the petroleum jelly and pulled out some gloves. Nakamura and Okuda sat on the floor to get started on the body but were clearly distracted by what you were doing.

“I’ll get the water!” Sugaya practically bolted out the door.

“He’s really excited about this.” you chuckled, pulling on a glove.

“Well, yeah, it’s art.” Nakamura smirked, pulling over your laptop to look at the instructions, “Man this thing looks janky.”

“Better than the one that’s just a soda bottle in a tee shirt.” you started applying the jelly to your face.

“That’s to keep the plaster from sticking, right?” Okuda was watching you.

“Yep. Won’t be able to do mouth to mouth really with this but should be able to get the basics.” you made a face, rubbing the jelly into your hairline.

Gross.

Nakamura had a box cutter out and was cutting the handle off the plastic plunger they’d picked up, “So, we’re doing the CPR lesson before drills yeah?”

“Yeah… so long as the dummy is ready by then.” you chuckled.

Sugaya came back in with a small bucket of water. He tore open the package of plaster bandages, “Ready?”

“Almost.” you ran jelly down over your neck, “Okay, I think we’re good. Just don’t cover my nose huh?”

He laughed, “I’m not going to suffocate you- Oh!” he pulled out his phone, setting it up, “Hey Ritsu! You think you can record this?”

Ritsu popped up on his screen with a grin, “Of course!”

“She said she wanted to watch earlier.” Sugaya chuckled.

“The more the merrier I guess...” You kept your face still as Sugaya worked the first strip of plaster, wetting it and smoothing it across your forehead.

“Hey, Ritsu?” Nakamura grinned.

“Yes, Nakamura?”

“Think you could stream this to the chat?”

“Sure!”

“Greaaat...” you sighed.

“Oh come on, you thought you’d get to do this without us letting everyone else see?” Nakamura laughed.

“With you kids, that’s definitely too much to ask.” you chuckled. Sugaya was working quickly, applying small stripes of plaster to your face and smoothing with them water. 

Okuda was measuring holes in a large sheet of flexible plastic using the base of the plunger that Nakamura had detached, “I think it might be a good idea anyway. People always like seeing Sugaya make things.”

“True.” Sugaya grinned, “It’s fun to have an audience.”

“So… why aren’t we having Ritsu make this with her 3-D printing?” Nakamura asked, working on fixing a lid the open top of the plunger.

You paused, staring into the void, “Wait… she can do that?”

“It wouldn’t be feasible.” Ritsu spoke up, “There are limits to the density and flexibility of the materials I can produce. Given my research into mannequins used for this purpose, anything I made would be too rigid.”

“‘Kay.” Nakamura went back to working on the body.

“You didn’t know Ritsu could make things?” Okuda paused, “Oh you weren’t here when she came into the class!”

“Yeah, no idea. Ritsu, that’s pretty cool.” you tried not to smile since Sugaya was moving down to your cheeks and chin.

“It’s a lot of fun too!” she chirped, “I understand why Sugaya likes making things!”

He laughed, “Yeah, making art is always really cool. You get to transform stuff, making something new.”

“Mmhmm.” you resisted the urge to nod.

“Any last words before I silence you?” Sugaya grinned at you, holding up another piece of plaster.

“Make sure you don’t cover my nose,” you said seriously.

He laughed and put the plaster strip over your mouth.

“Octopus Balls~” Nakamura singsonged, working on attaching the plunger base to the plastic Okuda had cut.

You sighed heavily as the kids giggled.

“Okay, your eyes are next, blink twice if you’re ready.” Sugaya smirked.

Oh lord. Might as well get it over with. You blinked twice and closed your eyes.

It was dark, your face was chilly and damp with the plaster. You felt Sugaya smoothing the strips over your eyes, blending the plaster into the pieces covering your brow. It was a weird feeling. He moved on to your nose.

From the floor, you could hear the sounds of the girls fumbling with the body.

“There! I think that’s right?” Nakamura’s voice was confident.

“We still need a hole for the neck but it looks right,” Okuda responded.

Sugaya was applying more plaster to your face overall, “You think this will hold up okay?”

You gave an awkward thumbs up because like… what else could you do?

He chuckled.

You smelled nothing but damp plaster of Paris. Sugaya moved on to your neck, smoothing more strips there.

You could hear some giggling from the floor and heard the shutter of a camera.

Well… he had wanted pictures…

There were some other sounds of shuffling and clicking. Okuda spoke quietly, “I wonder if I could improve this design...”

“Okay, we got a fifteen-minute wait, you doing okay?” Sugaya asked.

You gave another thumbs up.

The sounds of pumping, you assumed that was one of the girls trying the dummy body. Shuffling about on the floor and more clicking. Okuda must be doing research on the design. You were sure there was a better way to do this but for the temporary, this would work fine.

Maybe you could requisition a proper dummy…

“Hey, do you think I could decorate the head once it’s done?” Sugaya asked.

You gave a thumbs up. Didn’t see why not.

“Are we going to use the rest of the plaster for anything?” it was Sugaya again.

You gave a shrug.

“Okinawa is going to be so nice. I don’t know about you guys but this girl is ready for some fun in the sun.” Nakamura laughed.

“Y-yeah!” Okuda agreed, there was an odd hesitation to her voice. You couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Too bad we’re going to be busy.” Sugaya sighed.

“It’ll be worth it when we snag that ten billion yen though.” Nakamura chuckled.

“It’s going to rely on a lot of things going just right.” Okuda said quietly, “I hope we can do it...”

Oof…

This was a great convo to listen to right now…

God your face was starting to itch...

“Oh, good, I didn’t miss the party.~”

Oh no.

_ Oh no. _

That was KARMA.

“Hey,” Nakamura’s voice was full of mischief and you did  _ not _ like it. “Glad you could make it.”

“Had to come collect on my bet, right?” Karma’s voice was sly.

Fantastic.

You heard footsteps on the floor and an abrupt tapping on your forehead, “Hey Sugaya, I think this thing’s about cooked.” Karma chuckled, “But I mean if you want to leave them here for a bit longer, I brought my tools.”

His  _ what?! _

“Nah, Karma, I got something better. Come here.” Nakamura said.

You heard his footsteps recede and you sighed heavily through your nose. More footsteps approached, “Hey, Mx. Reader, just checking the mask.” you felt Sugaya’s hands on your face, “Oh man, this thing dried quick. Probably the heat...”

“Ha! Hey, Doc, what’s the pictures of you and the Octopus on a date?” Karma drawled.

Wha-

WHAT?!

Oh…

Oh god, the clicking…

Those little-

You gave them a thumbs down.

Nakamura laughed, “What? You gave us your computer!”

You sighed, sitting back.

Well… at least the photos were from the first trip. You could easily play those off as just friendly. Some of the ones on your phone not so much.

Sugaya was laughing, you felt him work at carefully popping the mask off your face. Once it was removed you turned your eyes to Nakamura and Karma who was flipping through your photo gallery on your laptop. 

“Really?”

Nakamura smirked, “What? We like snooping. Soooooo, you went on a date?”

You rolled your eyes, “It was not a date.” reaching over, you snatched your laptop, locking it. “We took a trip to Tomita Farm back in May.”

“Why?” Karma’s grin was particularly evil, “I mean, it’s not about work, right?”

“You know, teachers are people too.” you laughed, “And we’re  _ friends _ . He offered to take me to the Farm to try the ice cream there.”

Okuda looked at Karma, “Didn’t he take you and Nagisa to the movies?”

Karma shrugged, “So?”

“So, was that a date?” Okuda asked simply.

Karma rolled his eyes, “Okay but we’re students. That’s different. Mx. Reader is a teacher.”

Okuda grinned, “Yeah but I mean you went with Nagisa to the movies soooo...”

Karma snorted, “Like  _ that’s _ who I would pick out of this class?”

“Dunno, you do hang out a lot.” Sugaya grinned.

“Okay, but why doesn’t he take Mr. Karasuma or Professor Bitch out?” Nakamura countered, getting back to the topic at hand.

“They were at the nomikai.” Sugaya laughed, “I think Mx. Reader’s posts kinda proved that.”

“Besides, do you really think they’d let him take them anywhere?” you looked at Nakamura with a laugh, “Getting them to go to the nomikai mostly succeeded because they wanted to see if they could kill the octopus while he was drunk. I’m starting to think that Karasuma watches paint dry for fun…. Or just doesn’t know what fun is.”

Nakamura and Karma looked at each other, clearly still suspicious, then looked back at you.

“Besides, he’s an octopus?” you looked at the both of them, hoping to god you were convincing.

Sugaya was blowing up a balloon for the mannequin head. You got up, rubbing a hand over your face, “Ugh, I gotta get this junk off my face. Hang on.”

You retreated to the bathroom.

Hoo boy.

That wasn’t good.

You soaped up your face and scrubbed at your hairline before rinsing everything off. Drying your hands and face you pulled out your phone and shot a text message to one 🐙🎓:

[Hey, so, Nakamura and Karma found some of the Tomita Farm pics. They’re suspicious.]

[WHAT? ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ ]

[Yeah. They were using my laptop while we were making this CPR dummy. Told them it was just a friendly outing for ice cream.]

[Oh dear… this is going to be trouble.]

[Yeah, you’re telling me. I’m going to move all of my stuff to a thumb drive or something tonight just to be safe.]

[That would be for the best I think.]

[Sorry about this...]

[No, It’s a possibility that we need to consider.]

[Yeah… Well, I told them it was a friendly trip. It was just the May pics.]

[If it does get out...]

[What do we do?]

[I think it would be best, to be honest… should they find evidence. At least with the children.]

[Okay but what about Karasuma or Irina?]

[That would be a bit more of a predicament. Perhaps we could talk it over properly when I’m back?]

[Yeah. We can do that. Sorry, I should have been more careful.]

[It’s alright. We know they have their suspicions. So now we can be on guard.]

[...You’re right.]

[Perhaps it would be best to keep things locked in the meantime. (´-﹏-`；) ]

[Yeah, lesson learned. I better get back before they get even more suspicious.]

[Alright. （´・｀ ）♡ ]

[♡]

You locked your phone and headed back to the nurse’s office where Sugaya was busy balancing the plaster head in front of the fan, building the neck. Karma was sitting up on the windowsill, Nakamura was helping Okuda with carving out a hole in the body to insert the head.

“That is so much better. Thanks for helping with this, guys.” you gave them a smile.

“It’s no problem.” Sugaya grinned, “It’s fun.”

“And we’re getting extra credit,” Nakamura smirked.

“I don’t know, you did snoop through my computer… seems like that could disqualify you for that…” you trailed off, leaning on your desk.

“Hey!” Nakamura made a face and you chuckled.

“Nah, I wouldn’t do that to you.” you waved a hand then paused, noticing something, “Whoa… hold on...”

You went over to the Bird’s Nest. There were several more cranes stuffed haphazardly in the box. Certainly not perfect, pretty messy actually. Some made from origami paper others from what looked like sheets of notebook paper…

Huh…

You took them out, counting them.

“More cranes?” Sugaya asked, looking over.

“No idea who from...” you held one up, turning it this way and that, “There’s a lot here...”

“How many?” Okuda asked, looking up.

You started counting them out, “...There’s fifty here… and I’m pretty sure they’re all from the same person...”

“Seriously?” Karma laughed a bit, “Man, someone’s taking that seriously.”

You took the off the wall, scratching out the numbers you had and editing it.

_ Total: 142 _

_ Left: 858 _

You laughed, “Well, shit. We’ve got another strand.”

“Cool, want us to help with them?” Nakamura looked up, “Kinda just waiting on Sugaya now.”

Sugaya looked at her, “You can’t rush art.”

You gave a nod and piled the birds back in the box, offering it to her. Grabbing needle and thread you passed those over as well.

She and Okuda started deftly stringing up the birds.

Sugaya stepped out for a minute, returning with paint and a brush. He propped up the head, spreading one of the bags under it to catch any stray drops of paint.

You leaned on your desk, watching the kids.

“Mx. Reader...” Okuda looked up, “I think I know who turned these in.”

“Yeah?”

She held up one of the birds to you, it was one made from notebook paper and you could just see the edge of a name. Ryōm-

“Terasaka?” you said in surprise.

“Really?” Karma smirked, “Surprised he put in the time.”

You thought back to after the incident with the pool

_ “What’s the magic number?” _

You did the math. You’d told him three or four… that had been about two weeks ago…

Damn kid…

You shook your head, “Maybe he just wants to contribute.”

“Well, he definitely did if we got another strand.” Sugaya chuckled, looking up from the head he was painting.

You passed the bird back to Okuda.

“Oh, so _ this _ is where everyone is.”

You turned to see Maehara and Isogai looking in the doorway.

“Hey you two.” you smiled, “You’re awfully early.”

“Yeah, figured we’d get here since there was a party,” Maehara smirked.

“I take it you saw the stream.” you sighed.

“Looked like a real pain. Thank for doing it.” Isogai smiled, “We appreciate it.”

Sugaya chuckled, looking over, “I mean it’s just waiting for stuff to dry on their face.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t look very comfortable.” Isogai shrugged.

The boy turned back to his painting. The face definitely wasn’t looking like you anymore.

“Oh hey! We have another strand already?” Isogai was looking at Nakamura who was standing up and tying off the string of cranes.

“Yeah, apparently Terasaka made them.” Nakamura passed them over to you and you carefully hung them up next to the other strands.

“Seriously?” Maehara raised an eyebrow.

Sugaya sat back, looking over his work, “I think the head is done. Still needs to dry.”

Well, it wasn’t hyper-realistic but it looked pretty amazing for a plaster head. 

“Nice.” you gave him a grin, “Let me get things prepped while we’re waiting.” 

You grabbed your lesson planner out of your desk and one of the cheap yoga mats you’d brought for the purposes of laying the dummy on.

The dummy you’d forgotten to requisition.

You were such an idiot.

Heading outside, you put your things down on the back steps-

Something slammed bodily into you. You coughed, the wind knocked out of you. Okano was pinning you in the dirt.

Fuck.

Already?

You scrabbled, kicking out and trying to roll her off. She laughed, her hands on your shoulders, “Man, you really aren’t used to this.”

You remembered, suddenly, something Karasuma had you do with him. Bringing your hands up, you knocked her arms aside. Locking your arm around hers you were able to get the leverage to roll her off of you, hopping to your feet. 

She looked up at you with a grin.

Great.

So,  _ this _ was going to be a thing today too.

“Are you done?” you asked her.

“She might be but I’m not!”

You were abruptly headlocked.

God.

Dammit.

Terasaka.

The boy was actually holding you pretty tightly. 

Panic set it and you threw back an elbow into his midsection. He coughed and then laughed, “Gotta do better than that, Doc. I can take a hit from Itona. You’re nothing compared to that.”

You stomped down hard on his foot instead, turning and pivoting out of the hold, coughing.

“Better, that actually kinda hurt,” he smirked.

You straightened, clearing your throat, “Okay, try maybe NOT to kill me? I know you’re supposed to come at me but I’d rather not die to a fifteen-year-old.”

He chuckled, “Gotta hit harder.”

“I’m working on it,” you grumbled.

Okano had gotten up, dusting herself off. You noticed that more kids had begun to arrive. Well… this was going to be an interesting class…

Not long after you found yourself standing next to a yoga mat with the most slapdash looking CPR dummy laying on it. The class was sitting clustered around you attentively.

“Aw, we’re not practicing on each other?” Okajima looked downright betrayed.

“No. That’s unsanitary for one, uncomfortable for two, and weird for three.” you gave him a look, “Now, first of all, I want to thank Nakamura, Okuda, and Sugaya for their assistance in making our new friend here-”

“Mr. Doki Doki.” Sugaya supplied.

“Mr. Doki Doki.” you gestured to the dummy with a laugh, “He might not look like much but he will work for getting the point across and teaching you the basics.”

“So, who can tell me what CPR stands for?” you looked around at the group.

Okuda piped up, “Ah, it stands for Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation!”

“Correct!” you nodded to her, “Cardio referring to heart, pulmonary to lungs. Now, what does CPR do?”

“It keeps oxygenated blood flowing to the brain to prevent brain damage or death,” Takebayashi answered.

“Good. That’s right. We use CPR if we’ve found a person who is not breathing or whose heart has stopped beating. Things like heart attacks, strokes, drowning, electrical shock, there are many reasons we might need to do this.” you gestured, “Actual CPR is three parts but we’re going to cover the lead up too because that is important. So, first thing’s first, we find a person who has collapsed and isn’t breathing or their heart isn’t beating. What should we do first?”

“Uh… make sure they’re really out?” Maehara shrugged.

“Right. We’re going to tap their shoulder like this...” you tapped the dummy’s shoulder, “Sir! Are you okay?!” you looked to them, “We’re going to say this as loudly and clearly as possible. If the victim doesn’t respond then this is an emergency. If someone is with you, you’re going to tell them to call 119. If where you are has a defibrillator you’re going to ask someone for that too. If no one else is with you, you start CPR before you call.” you looked down at the dummy, “Now, you’re going to pay attention to your victim’s chest. You are going to watch for five to ten seconds, see if they’re breathing. This is the quickest way to determine if they need CPR.”

You got down on your knees in front of the dummy, “Now, the main three steps of CPR is CAB. Compressions, Airway, and Breathing. So for an adult, you’re going to use two hands in the center of the chest between the nipples-”

“Oh! Hold on!” Sugaya leaned forward suddenly and fished out a sharpie… adding nipples to your makeshift dummy.

“Yes… thank you, Sugaya.”

He gave a grin, sitting back.

“Okay, so, two hands, center of the chest. And we’re going to push hard and fast down about two inches. We’re giving thirty compressions. Make sure they’re flat on the floor and try to do 100 beats per minute. Coincidentally, the easiest way to do this is to to the rhythm of that song, ‘Staying Alive’.” you gave a demonstration of the rhythm, “Thirty compressions, then next step. Airway. You’re going to put a hand on their forehead and a few fingers under the jaw and tip the head back.” you demonstrated, “Now obviously this handsome devil doesn’t have an airway for us to work with but, you’re going to keep their head in this position, pinch their nose, and cover their mouth with yours and breathe into it for one second. You want to see their chest rise. Once it starts to rise up and you quickly stop, pull their mouth from theirs, and then give them a second breath. Don’t give them too much air. If you do that they can end up vomiting. Any ideas why?”

“Air ends up in the stomach.” Takebayashi supplied.

“Exactly. Now if they do vomit you’re going to roll them to the side, clear out their mouth with your finger, roll them back over, and continue CPR.”

“Oh, that’s gross...” Yada looked a little ill.

“It might be but it can save someone’s life. We’ll cover some ways to protect yourself from fluid exposure though. Now, once you’ve given two breaths, you start up compressions again. Remember, thirty compressions, tip head, two breaths. The second two should take no more than ten seconds. Compression. Airway. Breathing. You’re going to keep this up until the victim starts coming around, help arrives, you get a defibrillator to use, or if you are absolutely exhausted and cannot continue. Optimally, help will arrive before that last thing ever happens. Now, for babies, you’re going to use two fingers instead of two hands and you going to do this in the center of the chest but just below the nipples. Instead of two inches, you’re going to do one and a half inches.” you sat back, looking at them, “Anyone want to give it a try?”

Nagisa raised a hand to your surprise.

“Alright, Nagisa,” you waved him up, standing to one side.

Nagisa moved forward and tapped the dummy’s shoulder, “Sir! Are you okay?!”

You nodded. He moved in for chest compressions. Not terrible but, “Okay gotta go a little harder than that. Remember, you're trying to make an organ move under a pretty thick set of bones.”

He nodded and tried again.

“Better.”

He tipped the head back properly and mimed the breaths before moving back to compressions.

“Good.” you gave a nod, “Not bad for your first round.” you looked around at the students, “I know that we have Mr. Doki Doki here. But it’s imperative that you remember. CPR can keep any gender alive. I know some of you might feel a little weird doing chest compressions on someone of the opposite gender or someone like Miss. Jelavich with her, ah-”

“Amazing tits?” Okajima supplied enthusiastically.

You rolled your eyes, “Ample bust size. But, remember. This can save someone’s life. Put your feelings aside and focus on getting that person breathing again.” you turned your focus to one student in particular, “Now, Takebayashi.”

He looked up, his face going pink.

“I assume you’re familiar with CPR.”

He gave a surprised nod.

“You’re going to monitor your classmates' attempts and coach them. I’ll be watching too.”

He gave a nod, this one looking a little more invigorated, “Okay everyone, let’s get started.”

You stood to the side, watching.

Takebayashi could have probably taught this part of the class himself if you were honest. The kid knew most of the basics for first aid and CPR already.

You were so busy watching the kids that you didn’t see Okano’s leg sweep until you were in the dirt.

Oh this was getting old fast.

You rolled to avoid her follow up kick and got to your feet. How hard were you going to have to hit these kids for Karasuma to call them off?

This time when she kicked at you, you took the hit and grabbed her leg. One strike to the chest and a forward step and down she went on her back, “Okay, can we get back to class no-”

Terasaka to your left. You grabbed the boys arm as it came at you. Fuck that stung. Turning, you let his weight carry him through to the dirt.

“Class. Now.” you looked at the two of them, “You’re not doing this during Korosensei’s classes are you?”

“Well, no but he told us not to at the beginning of the year.” Nakamura looked up from the dummy stopping her compressions.

“Annnnnnd he’s dead. Good job, Nakamura, you killed Mr. Doki Doki.” Takebayashi was giving her a look. She rolled her eyes.

You looked to Okano and Terasaka, “I think you can extend me the same courtesy, yeah? I gotta teach you guys this before Okinawa. I know your plan involves a lot of time in the water. God forbid one of you drowns trying to kill the octopus.”

Okano sighed, “I guess...”

Terasaka got to his feet, “Between classes you better watch your back though.”

You laughed, “Noted. Now,” you nodded to the dummy, “practice un-murdering someone.”

The next couple of hours covered CPR practice and various barriers you could use to prevent fluid contact during CPR. Karasuma showed up towards the end of the class and drills began. Okano and Terasaka wiped the floor with you for the majority of it.

When you got home you were sore, exhausted, and couldn’t get the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ out of your head. 

But you felt pretty accomplished.

One shower and dinner later and you even felt like a person again.

You collapsed on the couch with a wince. Jeez, kids, did you have to go so hard?

Pulling out your phone you pulled up your text messages.

[So, I’m wiped. The kids put me through it today.]

[Oh? ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ ) ]

[Yeah, yeah, I know they throw worse at you but I’m not a flying octopus.]

[You have the benefit of unarmed combat.]

[Gee, thanks for the support. (￢_￢;) ]

[I’m quite supportive! I have faith that you will succeed. You’ve learned the basics, it’s the implementation that you’re struggling with.]

You sighed, [Implementation is like 90% of the work here.]

[True. You need to develop your muscle memory. Tap into your inner bloodlust.]

You snorted, [I have about as much bloodlust as a sheep.]

[On the contrary! You certainly have the spark of it but it only surfaces in specific situations. You need to harness it outside of those moments.]

[What?]

[As much of a pacifist as you are, Reader. If another person is in danger you are primed to kill.]

You stared at your phone for a moment. Okay, you threatened people but-

Another text came in.

[As someone who can tell the murderous intent of others? You are the most dangerous when other’s lives are threatened.]

You shook your head, [I can’t even hit people...]

[You are having a hard time hitting your students, your coworkers. What about an assailant like Takaoka? Someone with no remorse willing to do anything?]

You thought that over. Giving Takaoka a good punch to the jaw would be satisfying as hell…

Your phone pinged again.

[You fear injuring those you care about. You think nothing of defending them.]

You made a face. He was right. That’s how you got into this mess in the first place.

[Okay, but what if I can’t end up hitting the kids ever?]

[You’re still building the skills you need. If Takaoka were to try what he did on you before I have no doubts the blow would have been glancing at best.]

[You haven’t even seen me with these kids...]

[I don’t need to. I’ve seen you in drills.]

You sighed, running a hand over your face.

Your phone pinged once again.

[I have faith in you.]

What else could you say to that?

[...Thank you.  (._.) ]

[No need to be so somber about it! You’re doing well! ❤ (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc) ]

You laughed. That was cute…

[Okay is this better? Thank you! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡ ]

[Yes. (≧◡≦) ]

You snorted. Adorable…


	62. Paying Respects

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

The next morning you got up early. There was something that had been on your mind since that night walking home with him. Something you needed to do…

You opened your laptop and set your files to transfer to an external drive, then pulled up the internet. A little research and you located where you needed to go.

Okay…

You could do this…

You went to find appropriate clothes.

The graveyard was calm in the morning sunlight. The bucket heavy in your hand. You knew it was weird and probably ridiculous but you felt the need to come here. To do what? You weren't sure. See her? Thank her? Apologize?

You didn't need to but you felt like you should. Like you had taken something from her, even if that wasn't the case.

As you approached the location written in your notes you noticed a familiar face. Kayano was kneeling at the grave, talking softly. You didn't approach. Something about the whole thing felt rude also explaining yourself would be awkward... So you made your way through some of the other tombstones, waiting for her to leave.

Why was she here? Aguri had been their teacher for a little while, he’d said. She must have touched her students greatly if they came to visit her grave.

You wondered why they never talked about her...

By the time you looped back around, Kayano was gone. Okay, time to do... whatever this was.

You approached the grave. There was no trace of Kayano’s visit.

The grave was tidy and well kept. Someone was looking after her and you were glad of it.

Carefully, you pulled out the incense you'd purchased and placed it in the holders, lighting it. Taking the ladle from the bucket, you poured water over the stone.

You felt silly. She wasn't a relative. You didn't even know the woman. This wasn't even something you were accustomed to doing…

And yet…

_ Sometimes there’s something worthwhile in symbols, Reader. _

Taking a breath, you clasped your hands together.

"Miss Yukimura…"

Okay. Saying it out loud was worse. You continued your speech internally.

_ "Thank you for taking care of the man you knew as the Reaper. Thank you for seeing the good in him. He's gone above and beyond to teach your class. I think you would be proud…" _

You paused, this was a stranger. A ghost. A gravestone. And yet you still had trouble thinking out what you wanted to say.

_ "We have things in common, one of those things is our love for this man. I'm so grateful for all you did to set him on this path. I hope you don't mind that I'm borrowing him for a little while… I'm sorry that…” _

You sighed, what?  _ ‘Sorry you died!’ _ that sounded so  _ stupid _ . Christ…

You focused again.

_ “I’m sorry that your life was cut so short. I hope that now you have some peace." _

You opened an eye and sighed. You felt… better somehow. Slightly.

You smiled at the wisps of smoke rising from the sticks of incense and reached out, touching the stone, "He really does miss you. I hope you don't mind me keeping him company."

Did she still have family? She must right? From Korosensei’s description, you couldn’t picture her fiance caring enough to bury her…

It… felt odd, being here. Not bad but… 

Comfortable.

An odd sensation for a graveyard.

Maybe you’d stop by again…

When the incense had burned down, you cleared it away.

“I… I might come back by… and update you on the class.” you spoke softly, “You’ll be proud of them...”

You touched the stone lightly one last time and picked up the bucket to return it.

You felt a little lighter. A weight off of your shoulders.

On the train home, something occurred to you. You ran a search on your phone, looking for her…

There were a few listings for her. You realized suddenly, that you had no idea what she looked like…

You considered what you knew of her. One year of teaching at Kunugigaoka. That was a start…

A fiance by the name of Yanagisawa…

And there she was…

Her social media was still up.

The photos showed a smiling young woman, short black hair, bright brown eyes and…

Oh, those shirts really were just… something.

You smiled and scrolled through her pages. Photos of her with last year's kids, cat videos, new shirts from Rotten Manten…

A few photos of her with her fiance. A messy looking man with hollow eyes.

She was still smiling in these photos.

You spent the rest of the train ride scrolling through her social media, learning about the woman you owed so much to.

You could see why he’d loved her.

She was easy to love.

The sort of person who is too kind for you to hate.

You’d known someone else like that once…

Your hand came up to rub at the back of your neck.

Of course, she was easy to love…

One stop at home and then on to the campus… you had more drills to do.


	63. Beauty and Batik

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

That weekend found you awkwardly standing outside of your apartment waiting for Irina to arrive. She’d called you the night before and told you she’d was picking you up for your shopping trip tomorrow and you better be ready.

So that…

That was something.

She pulled up in a silver Audi and looked out at you, “Hop in.”

You obeyed, climbing into the passenger seat. She was, as usual, dressed to the nines. Makeup perfect. Sly smile on her face.

“Hey.” you gave an awkward wave.

She pulled away from the curb, “Thank god I'm finally going to see what you look like when you’re dressed properly.”

You rolled your eyes, “Well, gee, thanks.”

“What? It’s a compliment. You’ve got a good build but you don’t dress for it like… at all.”

“In your opinion.”

“In the opinion of a professional.”

Oh god, was this how the whole day was going to go?

“You’re a professional fashion designer now?”

“No, but I’ve killed a few,” she smirked.

You weren’t sure if she was kidding.

She flipped on the radio, tapping along the beat of the song with a hand idly.

“Um… where are we going exactly?”

“Just Us by JC&C.”

“Never heard of them...”

“They’re my tailors here.”

“Your… I’m sorry you’re  _ what? _ ”

Did she say tailors? People still get clothes tailored? That was a thing?

“ _ Everything _ I own is bespoke. Tailor-made.” she smirked, “You think these babies just look like this all the time?” she gestured to her cleavage, “I mean they _ do _ but the window dressing is designed to fit them perfectly.”

You stared at her, “Hold on so nothing you wear is like… just off the rack?”

She laughed, “Are you kidding me? I’d rather go naked.”

“Literally  _ everything _ I own is off the rack.” you stared at her, “How the hell do you afford it?”

She raised an eyebrow at you, “You think I’m living off that teacher’s salary they’re giving us?  _ As if! _ I’ve got a tidy nest egg from my work and enough admirers that enjoy gifting me very expensive items that money is no issue.”

Great.

So,  _ one _ coworker was a terrifying military dude.

_ Another _ was an octopus that could move at Mach 20.

And the  _ third _ was a rich assassin.

You were the  _ only _ normal person on staff.

“Okay… well, I definitely can’t afford something tailor-made.” you said, wincing. You didn’t want to seem ungrateful but...

She laughed, “Who said _ you _ were buying?”

“Irina, you can’t just drop that much money on m-”

“Didn't I  _ literally _ just say I’m rich? It’s fine.” she waved a hand, “Besides, this means you’re going to have to listen to my dating tips.”

You  _ knew _ there was going to be a catch.

“Fine... ” you sighed.

She smirked, “See? I knew you’d come around, hun.”

“So, what sorts of tips do you have?”

“Well, first, men or women?”

“Uh?”

“Okay, that was probably optimistic. I’m guessing you haven’t figured that out yet. No shame, plenty of people don’t know until later in life.”

“UH?”

She laughed, and just kept talking, “Anyway, seducing someone starts before you even meet up with them. You put work into your clothes, the way you carry yourself, the way you speak to others. These things set up a certain presentation to them. Think of it like a job interview you're just applying for a very...  _ interesting position _ ."

Oh god…

"Your problem is you don't look confident enough. You do fine in class, sure. When you're pissed off you're not half bad either, but then you can't follow through. You gotta carry yourself like you own the place. Like you've lived there your whole life."

"Where?

"Anywhere!" She chuckled, "That's the point. You want to look like the badass of the room."

"Okay, but doesn't that kind of alienate people?"

"Shows what you know. People are drawn to power. But you catch them by humanizing yourself."

You raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"You might look and act like you own the room but when you meet a new person, you say their name back to them. Look them in the eye. Make them feel like they're being noticed. People like attention." She smirked, "Works like a charm. If you've got them leaning in with interest or hanging on your every word then excuse yourself for a while. They will be all over you later. It's like dangling a carrot on a stick."

"Are you giving me dating tips or manipulation tactics?"

"What's the difference?" She shrugged.

It was going to be a long fucking day.

After a trip that felt far longer than it was thanks to Irina's laundry list of dating power moves, you pulled into a parking garage. From there it was a brief walk to a storefront with a minimalist black and white design.

This… whole area looked pretty upscale.

Greaaaat…

Talk about out of your element.

She headed inside and you followed feeling incredibly out of sorts.

You were greeted by an attendant and Irina took over, informing them that she had an appointment arranged. You looked around the place. It felt more like an art gallery than a clothing store. Pedestals decorated the store with mannequins sporting various upscale looks.

You felt completely out of place.

"Irina! Darling! How lovely to see you again!"

You looked up as a short man emerged from the back. He was wearing a suit that looked like it would have easily cost more than you paid in rent each month. Black, pinstripe, and accompanied by round silver lenses. You noticed that he didn't seem to be Japanese.

He leaned in, kissing her hand.

She smirked, "Of course it is, you know when I walk in the door it means money."

He chuckled, "True, true. Now, who is this with you?"

She turned to you, "This is Mx Reader. They're an associate of mine."

"Charmed." He gave you a smile, blue eyes flashing, "A pleasure to meet you Mx. Reader. My name's Carnegie, Andrew Carnegie. One of the designers here."

"It's… nice to meet you too." You gave an awkward smile and then looked in surprise as a tall, thin, waspy looking Japanese woman joined him. she was decked out in an asymmetric black, white, and teal dress. Leaning over Carnegie's shoulder, she looked at you, "So, this is the problem case you mentioned?" She smirked to Irina.

Irina nodded.

Carnegie grinned and gestured to her, "This is Julie Sasaki, my partner in all things fashion."

She gave you a long, languid look and smiled, "I think we can make something fantastic for you."

"Did I hear the--oh, yes I did!" A spunky and spry looking person in a suit approached.

He had dark brown skin, long dark locs were piled on his head, "Cassius Coster since we're handing out names."

You looked between the three of them. What… what a group.

Being stared at like this was a bit much...

"Ah, I'm Mx. Reader."

"A pleasure." Cassius gave you a cheeky grin, "Irina, why have you brought this willing victim to us today?"

Carnegie nodded, “Yes, what’s the occasion?”

Irina smirked, “Vacation, beach.”

“Oh, that’s right! You’re going to Okinawa soon!” Julie smiled, “Perfect.”

“Reader here is coming along.” Irina nodded to you, “So, we need an appropriate outfit for them.”

Cassius was all smiles, “Delightful!” he turned to you, “Well then, what are your tastes?”

“Huh?” you said, eloquently.

Irina sighed, looking at you, “What do you like? For clothes?”

You gave a shrug, “Simple, comfortable, fun? We’re gonna be on the beach maybe something like I dunno… shorts? Tank top? Loose overshirt?”

Irina did not look impressed, “Okay, who raised you to dress like a middle-aged dad?”

“Hey!”

Julie sighed, “Function over form. Well, it's to be expected, they are a teacher after all.”

“To be fair, we’re a far cry from fashion week with this one, Julie.” Carnegie looked over at her.

“I think we can still do something reasonably fashionable with what they’re interested in.” Cassius supplied, chuckling.

Julie turned her attention to Irina, “This is the strangest client you’ve ever brought us.”

Irina laughed.

Cassius guided you over a three-panel mirror. The others clustered around you, observing.

“Now… what approach?” Carnegie asked, looking at the other two.

“Well, it is the beach.” Cassius gestured, “Athleisure?”

“Oh god no, after our last client I'm completely burnt out in that department.” Julie sighed, waving a hand.

Carnegie nodded, tapping his chin. Irina was standing by, watching. You meanwhile were awkwardly standing there hating everything in your life that brought you to this point.

“To start, pants. I imagine something light, comfortable. White Chinos?” Carnegie suggested.

Okay, no, you had to say something about that, “Not white, please, it’s hard to keep clean.”

“So… no white chinos. Let’s see…. Culottes? Capris?” he turned to the other two.

“Either would be suitable I think,” Julie said, she seemed exceptionally bored by this whole conversation.

Excuse you for being boring you guessed…

“Loose capris I think. Khaki? Decent summer color.” Cassius suggested.

Julie nodded, “Now, for a top?”

“Vest?” Cassius suggested.

“I am thinking something with a touch more flash.” Carnegie gestured, “Cardigan or robe? Open? Bright?”

“Won’t a cardigan be warm?” you looked at him, confused.

Carnegie chuckled, “Not a proper one.”

“I thought cardigans were those wool sweater things,” you said.

Julie waved a hand, “If it’s knit and open in the front it’s a cardigan. If it ties then it’s a robe.”

Cassius disappeared in the back for a moment and returned with two very different pieces of clothing, “This is a cardigan and this is also a cardigan.”

“Uh...” you just sort of stared.

Sometimes, fashion was fucking stupid.

“Anyway,” Julie gestured, “I think a light robe would elevate it a bit...”

“Sleepwear and boudoir clothes have been popular as outerwear this year...” Cassius supplied, “I think an undershirt should be simple enough? Something light, no buttons, with the cardigan it might make it too fussy.”

“I think we could get by with buttons…” Carnegie trailed off.

“You think everything can get by with buttons, Carrie.” Julie waved a hand dismissively.

“Let me get measurements.” Cassius grinned.

You stood awkwardly as Cassius moved about, taking your measurements. Well, this was… fun.

Julie stood, taking in your appearance, “I think we might need to consider accessories.”

Cassius perked up, “Oh, yes!”

“Cool or warm colors do you think?”

“I vote cool!” Cassius piped up. He was busy taking measurements of your inseam.

“I’m assuming patterned?” Carnegie asked.

“Yes.” Julie gave a nod, “Vertical bold stripes? We have a lovely limpet and white in the back.”

Cassius shook his head, “No, no what about stars?”

Carnegie chuckled, “The watercolor look is in fashion right now. What about batik?”

“Yes!” Julie and Cassius said in unison. 

Carnegie chuckled, “Batik it is then.”

He disappeared into the back.

Cassius meanwhile had stepped aside and was jotting down measurements and making notes.

Julie, meanwhile, pulled out a pad of paper and started sketching. You looked over to see what she was doing. Irina did the same.

“ _ Much _ better.” Irina nodded.

“That’s just a fancier version of what I asked for,” you said, looking at Irina in surprise.

Julie laughed, “Well, that is my job.” she waved a hand, “Cassius, dear, do you still have those kerchiefs?”

“Hm?”

“The neck ones.”

“Yes!” he disappeared into the back.

Carnegie reappeared, a thick spiral book under one arm. He settled it on the table Julie was standing by, “Alright, let’s see… cool colors…”

It was a swatch book. As he opened it you saw page after page of fabrics. All batik.

“Hm… ” Julie took a moment, eyeing you, “Blues and indigos first I think.”

Carnegie located the appropriate pages and flipped through a few designs, “I’m thinking bright… hmmm… ”

You looked over at Irina and she smirked at you, “See? They’re professionals.”

“You do this for every outfit?” you were just… astounded. This seemed ridiculous.

She gave a bit of a shrug, “Aside from the ones bought for me. Then I usually have those taken in or adjusted.”

Julie and Carnegie had their heads together, talking.

Cassius reappeared, carrying a tray with a selection of… handkerchiefs? He settled it on the table and leaned in with the other two, looking at the swatch book.

“The leaf print here is fairly tropical.”

“True but the florals add a touch of softness.” Julie gestured.

Carnegie looked at her, “Darling, the design is already soft. There’s a robe.”

“True...” she sighed.

“Wait! Wait!” Cassius grinned, spinning the swatch book to himself for a moment, flipping through, “These.”

Julie gave a groan.

“Now, I know how you feel about animal print and such but, honestly it’s not like Carnegie’s obsession with zebra.” Cassius looked across at her.

“It’s not an obsession!” Carnegie protested.

You were starting to wonder if that’s why Irina had animal print in her closet…

Oh god were they going to put you in cheetah print or something?

There was no way…

“Besides, how can you say no?” Cassius looked at her, “Gucci, Marc Jacobs, and Maison Margiela all did it this Summer.”

“And we’re nothing if not derivative.” Julie huffed.

“They’re going to Okinawa, not Paris, Julie.” Carnegie chuckled, “Save the avant-garde designs for the runway.”

“Fine.” she leaned in looking at the designs Cassius had pointed out, “No. No. Oh god no--there, this one… hmmm and this…”

You looked around the shop. You were starting to feel like one of these mannequins here…

“Alright, so...” you turned your attention back to them as Carnegie turned to you with a smile, “I think we’ve narrowed down a few choice selections...”

You were being presented with a page of batik swatches with animal designs on them. Not animal markings like you expected. But whole animals. Snakes, koi fish, and-

“Oh!” Irina laughed, “Oh, you  _ have _ to give them the octopus.”

“Really?” Cassius looked at her in surprise.

“It’s a bit of an inside joke.” she smirked, “But trust me, it will be perfect.”

The universe hated you.

That was the only explanation for this.

You looked at Irina, “You really want them to make fun of me, don’t you?”

“What?” Irina laughed, “It is nice, isn’t it?”

…

To be fair the octopus design was actually really cool looking… a bright blue sort of tie-dye with pale turquoise octopi drifting across.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Perfect!” Cassius grinned, “I say a heathered cream for the undershirt?”

Carnegie nodded and turned to Irina, “The usual card?”

Irina chuckled, “Yeah, usual turn around?”

“We’ll have it ready for fitting this evening.” Julie said, looking it over, “Afternoon… actually. Cassius, the turquoise kerchief I think.”

Cassius gave a nod.

“Perfect. Thank you so much.” Irina looked to you, “So, we have time to kill.”

“Wait… you’re making it today?” you looked over at them in surprise.

“Well, of course.” Cassius chuckled, “Irina is a top client after all.”

“Uh… Okay then… well… thanks?”

Carnegie gave you a smile and Julie a dismissive wave. Irina grinned at you and guided you outside, “You don’t have to look like a truck is going to hit you, you know.”

Her tone was flat compared to the charm she was laying on in the shop.

“I’m just… that felt so weird.”

“What? Being the center of attention?”

“I guess? And having three people to plan out an outfit?”

She shrugged.

“So… we have time to kill?”

She nodded.

“Okay, if you’re buying me an outfit made by your tailors, I’m buying you something off the rack and you have to wear it at some point in Okinawa.” you looked at her, challenging.

“Oh god, what?” she sounded like you’d just suggested she wear a dead fish.

You gave her a grin. This was going to be fun.

About 20 minutes later you were parked and leading Irina to the front of Fashion Center Shimura. She balked the second she saw the place. You figured a box store would have that effect on her.

“You really don’t have to get me anything,” she said, looking at you with dawning horror. She was finally realizing you were absolutely serious about this.

“Oh but Irina, it will be so nice!” you grinned.

She looked so out of place.

Good.

Revenge.

“Tell you what, you can give me more dating tips while we shop.” you offered.

“...Fine,” she said with a huff.

You headed inside and made a beeline for the women’s section.

“Okay, before anything else… I have to see you in jeans and a t-shirt, for the love of God.” you laughed.

“Why?” she looked at you like you were crazy.

“Why do you want to see me wearing a tailored outfit?”

“Because you would look nicer.”

“And I want to see you in something casual because I’ve never seen you in anything casual.”

“This is casual!”

“That is absolutely NOT casual.” you laughed, “Hell, it’s barely acceptable with how low your top is.”

“Hey!”

You waved your hands, “I know, I know, we have different styles. But you get what I’m saying?”

She narrowed her eyes.

“How about I sweeten the pot.” you chuckled, “I’ll give you some info on the octopus.”

“How the hell do you have info on the octopus?”

You shrugged, “We’re always having lunch?”

She huffed, “Fine, what is it?”

“I’ll tell you after you’ve tried it on, let’s see what fits...” you started flipping through the racks.

“See what fits? What? It doesn’t just tell you?” she looked at the clothing and back at you.

“Well… I mean it gives you a size but it’s not precise and it differs by brands so you kind of have to guess.”

“Oh, _ please _ tell me you are joking.”

“‘Fraid not.” you grinned, pulling out a shirt, “Now do I put you in something with Engrish on it or…?” she looked like she was dying. You gave her an evil smile, “Oh, I think this is perfect.”

The shirt you pulled off the rack was emblazoned with a cat and the text “PEEKING FROM YOUR BOSOM”.

She was not pleased, obviously. You smiled, “Now, jeans...” you located a few pairs, holding them up to her experimentally, “Hmmm… try these on. The changing booths are over there.”

She accepted the clothes with a resigned sigh and made her way over. You followed close behind, pulling out your phone.

You were absolutely taking a picture of this.

You waited outside, grinning. After several minutes she emerged. Somehow she made off the rack clothes, even ridiculous ones, look like high fashion. The top was too tight, of course, but the jeans fit perfectly. You snapped a photo and she glared at you, “Hey!”

“What? I’m probably never going to see this again!”

She huffed, “Satisfied?”

You nodded and she headed back inside.

Several minutes later she emerged, dressed in her usual.

“Okay, now to find you an actual outfit for Okinawa.” You grinned.

“Hold on, intel first.” she looked at you.

“He has to eat rocks. It’s like part of his dietary requirements.” you shrugged.

“How am I supposed to use that?!”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, I’m not an assassin.”

She just glared at you and you gave her a winning smile.

“So, let’s find something for you!”

“Let’s get this over with...”

“What, we gotta kill time somehow.”

“Well, I guess now I can give you more dating tips.”

You groaned.

She gave you a look, “What? Why are you so against dating anyway?”

“I’m not I just… prefer to go about it my own way.”

“And that’s why you’re single.” she was idly browsing a rack now, looking really put off by the selection.

“That is not why!” you laughed, pulling out a top and putting it over your arm.

“This isn’t terrible actually...” she had pulled something off the rack and was looking at it.

“Yeah? Oh...”

She was holding up a top with a plunging neckline and... Not  _ a lot  _ of fabric to it.

“Haven't you ever heard less is more?” you said.

“Uh, yeah.” she gestured to what she was wearing.

“Okay but sometimes covering up draws more attention.” you chuckled, “Because then it’s all up to the imagination.”

“That’s stupid.”

You shrugged, “It seems to work.”

“Anyway,” she threw the shirt over her arm, “SO, as I was saying in the car.”

“Mmhmm...” you resigned yourself to another dating lecture.

“You’re not terrible but you definitely need more confidence. Then again I’ve also not seen you on a date. But back there, at the tailors? Definitely not walking in like you own the place.”

“Well, yeah, it’s a new place!” you protested.

“That doesn’t matter. You need to get comfortable in your own skin.” she poked you, “It makes you more powerful and attractive to others. Flaunt your assets.”

You laughed a bit, “Like my sparkling personality?”

“Well, for starters, yeah.”

You were surprised at her tone, it was a lot… kinder than you expected.

She picked up another shirt looking it over, “You’re good at being interested in other people but the flip side of that is that you should also try to be interesting.”

“Flaunt my assets but I’m not interesting, huh?”

She laughed, “You can be interesting. You just have to engage more.”

“I engage people.”

“How many years have you not had friends locally again?” she looked at you pointedly.

“...Touche.”

“You should get out there more. Enjoy yourself. Meet people. You communicate just fine.” she waved a hand, “Look, I get it. If you don’t let people in then they can’t leave. But if you don’t let them in at all you never get to see if they’ll stay either.”

Goddammit. Why did she have to be right?

“You’re right...”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you! You can't be afraid to be direct. Ask for what you want. People appreciate it when you know what you want and how to ask for it." She nodded.

You considered that for a moment.

That was also true… you supposed.

You looked over at her in surprise.

“Let me guess… you didn’t think any of this would apply to you.” she chuckled.

“Not… not really.” you admitted.

“Seduction is mostly about communication. It applies to sex, work, and even teaching if you use it right. You have to draw people in to make a connection, you have to validate them. See them.” she smirked, “Now, as far as reeling them in goes...”

She launched into a variety of tips. The list was so long that you could barely keep track. Find things in common with them, ask questions, mirror their body language, encourage them to talk about themselves…

It was definitely a long day…

After some squabbling over outfit style and choices, the two of you finally came to an agreement on an outfit for her. An off-the-shoulder dip-dyed white and teal top with loose sleeves, loose khaki shorts (oh, how she had  _ fought _ you on the shorts), and a wide black belt to cinch in the waist. Once your purchases were made you made your way back to the tailor’s where you had a quick test fitting. It fit perfectly and you had to admit, it looked amazing.

The drive home was filled with music from the radio and the two of you taking potshots at each other’s dating lives and outfit choices.

It had been a long day…

But a good one.


	64. Fragile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!  
> [Korosensei's POV here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/50466647)

You opened the balcony door.

It had been a week since the two of you had poured your hearts out to one another and in his absence your brain had found time to get nervous again. You’d spent the day packing for Okinawa and cleaning your apartment in preparation for him to show up. In the evening you got a text.

[Be there soon.]

When he arrived he ducked in through the balcony door, bedding in tow, and you both stood there for a moment staring.

"Hey…" you smiled.

You felt awkward. Things had been okay before he was gone but things had also been pretty emotional would he be okay with-

He closed the gap while you were worrying and you found yourself swept up in his tentacles. You gave a yelp of surprise and laughed, kissing him. He melted into the kiss. You could _feel_ his body relaxing at your touch.

"Oh, I _missed_ you." He whispered.

There was something in his tone that made your heart race.

"I missed you too." You nuzzled him.

You stayed like that for a few moments, him holding you, your forehead pressed to his. Finally, he set you back down.

"I brought dinner." He held up a couple of bags you hadn't seen, "I hope that's alright."

"It's fine." You chuckled.

"And… ah…." A tendril offered you the teddy bear he'd spirited away, "My apologies for this…"

You laughed, "It's fine. That's really cute…" you looked up at him with a smile, "If you want to keep it with you, you can."

He went a bright pink, "But Reader, I-"

"Hey, I know the feeling okay?" You found your face burning, "I mean I was talking to you while you were on Mount Everest in the middle of the night because you weren’t here…"

The two of you stood there for a moment, your respective shades of pink.

"How about I get this laid out then?" He supplied, gesturing to his futon.

"Sure! I'll be right back…" you ducked into your bedroom and covered your face with your hands trying to will the anxious energy away. This was stupid. You'd been fine. He was only gone for a week, why was this happening? You were overheating. Going to your dresser you pulled out a lighter tank top and switched out shirts before returning to the living room.

He, too, was wearing pajamas now and sitting on the futon. Spread out before him was two boxes of take-out. You chuckled. Carbonara and torrone…

You joined him.

"So… um… did your theory work out?"

He gave a nod, " I've done some testing and I think it will be more than feasible as an option."

“Still not telling me?”

“Well, you’re not going to tell me about their plans.” he chuckled, “Best that we don’t talk about either, hm?”

You nodded, taking a bite of your food.

The two of you ate in a nervous quiet.

When that was finished and things cleared away you…

Well, you honestly didn't know what to do with yourself. He looked up at you as you exited the kitchen, "Reader… is everything alright?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine…"

A tendril reached out and gently encircled your wrist, guiding you over to him. You sank down on the floor next to him, both of you sitting with your backs to the couch. A tendril came up to press lightly against your pulse.

"Are you sure?"

You reached up, touching it, "Why do you do this?"

"It helps me determine someone's state of mind… and it helps to keep them calm." He said softly, "It's a technique I developed before… though not for particularly kind purposes…"

"You've become really good at adapting all of these dangerous things into caring things… you know that right?"

"Well, given my new profession it seemed appropriate."

"It is…" you felt your blush, hot on your cheeks, "It's something I love about you."

He went a deep magenta.

"As far as being okay goes…" you sighed, "It's… it's just been a while… like… since I've had feelings like this…"

He chuckled and reached out, offering a hug.

You wrapped your arms around him, your head resting on his shoulder. A tendril brushed back your hair and a light kiss was placed on your forehead.

"It can be quite overwhelming…" he agreed.

You nodded, "It's really stupid. I've been working with you for months but I'm nervous." you rubbed at your face, sighing, "I feel ridiculous."

He laughed gently, "Then we can ridiculous together. I feel much the same way…"

You looked up at him in surprise. He scratched at his head a bit, cheeks darkening, "This is very new to me… and it feels…" he shifted a bit, "fragile…"

You relaxed against him. It _wasn't_ just you then.

"Worried about messing it up?"

He nodded, "About making a mistake or offending… this is… well…" he seemed to be searching for words, "This is the first emotional relationship I've had the freedom to explore… Aguri and I… we were separated and our circumstances…"

You nodded, "It wasn't exactly a typical situation with date nights and sleepovers."

"I wish." He sighed and then stopped himself, a measure of guilt entering his voice, "I'm sorry that sounded a bit-"

"Shhh…" you chuckled and put a finger to his lips, "I understand. It's okay." you paused and smiled at him gently, “You don’t have to feel bad about loving her.”

He reached up, taking your hand in his. A kiss was pressed into your palm.. 

"I appreciate that more than you could ever know." He whispered.

You buried your face in his shoulder. A soft chuckle reverberated through him. Then you felt another kiss on your wrist… then your arm… you shivered and looked up at him. His expression looked a touch panicked.

_Afraid of making a mistake…_

You gave him a smile and leaned up, kissing him gently, "So… you wanted a night in. Movies and more cuddling?"

His response was filled with happy relief, "That sounds _wonderful_."

The lights were shut off and the television turned on. You laid down next to him and were immediately pulled close. You looked back and he moved to withdraw as though he'd been caught. You laughed, turning to him, "It's okay."

He nodded.

"You nod but you keep looking at me like I'm going to yell at you."

He looked sheepish, "I just…"

You reached up and gently kissed him, your hands running over his cheeks, "I might be nervous but that doesn't mean I don't _want_ this."

He sighed and you felt him relax just a bit more.

"I don't want to seem overbearing…" he spoke softly, clearly embarrassed.

You laughed and nuzzled him, feeling your own nervousness begin to fade, "Didn't we _just_ clarify before you left that you're touch starved? You even used it as an _excuse_ already!" you patted his cheek, "I don't mind."

He held you tightly to his chest and you nuzzled against him. Old books and summer rain. 

Comfort. 

Safety...

Tendrils hesitantly trailed along your bare arms. Reaching up, you ran a hand over his cheek again. You loved touching his face. He always went pink and nuzzled into your hand, almost like one large and very tentacled cat. It was sweet and it never failed to make you smile. You glanced up at him.

His face was in your hand. He looked sheepish, again like he’d been caught. You laughed, “That’s adorable.”

This man had killed a thousand people 

The government was trying to kill him.

He was known as the world's best assassin.

And he was trying to desperately bury his face in your hand to cover his blush.

This year really was absurd.

You loved it.

You kissed him again, looping an arm over his shoulder.

“I’m a mess...” he said softly, touching his forehead to yours.

"Like I'm not?" You giggled.

"We're both a mess." He chuckled.

"I'm alright with that."

His expression tumbled into fondness, his tone gentle and genuine, "I am too."

You propped yourself up for a moment and gently pushed his shoulder, prompting him to lay back. As he complied you could see the slightest tinge of pale blue to his face.

You remembered the last time he'd been over, the way he'd seemed to panic when you pushed him down.

Gentle.

You needed to be gentle.

Once he was on his back you curled up next to him, your head on his shoulder and one hand lazily and lightly running over his chest.

You felt the tension begin to fade from him. Running your hand up his chest you delicately brushed your fingertips over his neck before stroking his cheek again. A shiver ran through him. 

You felt a hand glide along your back to your bare shoulder and smiled. 

Fragile was an accurate way to describe this feeling. Like everything might break apart with one wrong move. But right now? This? It felt safe.

You had questions… but you were worried about speaking then aloud just yet. Instead, you tested them.

You ran a hand down one of his arms. He nuzzled you in return. You kissed along his cheek and he turned to kiss you in response. Somewhere along the line, you felt one of his legs tangle in yours and laughed softly. He relaxed further and turned back to face you, letting his hands run along your back, your shoulders, fingers brushed the back of your neck. You shivered. 

Cupping his face again, you kissed him.

You wanted to absolutely spoil him with touch…

Speaking of…

You took one of his hands, kissing it softly, "You spent all week hurting yourself."

He faltered, "For good reason!"

"I know " you replied, "But I want to do something because of it."

"Hm?"

You located his other hand and pressed a kiss to it as well, "Kiss it better."

His eyes went wide and you laughed softly, "What? I did say I like your tentacles."

"You did." He agreed. His face was still filled with shock.

"Is it okay?"

He gave the barest of nods and you sat up a bit, first taking the two tendrils that extended from his arms and kissing the tips of them. He shivered.

Carefully, you slid down, running a hand over one of his legs. He watched you as you leaned down and kissed one of them. You smirked. He was adorable like this. Awkward, embarrassed, and amazed.

You kissed the next leg and a giggle escaped him. You laughed, "What?"

"Nothing!" His expression told you he was definitely hiding something.

Out of curiosity, you trailed your fingers along one of his legs and he burst out laughing.

You sat up, staring at him.

Even he seemed surprised by the outburst.

You laughed covering your mouth with your hands, "Oh my god, are you _ticklish?"_

The look of _sheer terror_ on his face made you grin. You ran a finger along his leg again and he shot across the room, pressing himself with his back to a corner, laughing, "Reader, no!"

You laughed, "That's cute."

"It's terrible!" He looked at you, "What if the children found out?! My ikemen persona would be completely ruined!"

"Oh, that _would_ be the worst!" You grinned, "You going to stay in that corner all night or are you going to come back over here with me?"

He pouted, just a tad, "How do I know you won't try something?"

"You can literally move at Mach 20. If you can't dodge me tickling you, then I'm going to be shocked and disappointed."

He huffed and begrudgingly rejoined you, sitting beside you, his body tense. Scooting closer, you ran a hand along his back. After a few minutes of this, he sighed and you felt him relax again.

It was so odd running your hands over him. Normally, you felt bones under a person's skin. For him it was different. He was softer, more pliable, but able to push back. You ran your free hand down his arm. He felt like muscle encased in velvety smooth skin.

You leaned forward, pressing your head to his back, "You feel nice."

He made a sound and when you looked up his face was buried in his hands. His skin had shifted back to pink.

You gave a happy sigh and laid down, using his lap as a pillow. Peeking up, you could see that the pink had only darkened.

When you nuzzled against his stomach he gave a small yelp of surprise followed by a laugh. It seemed to shake him out of his nerves and soon you felt hands and tendrils exploring your back, shoulders, neck, and face. Your face was burning and when he trailed a finger up your spine you gasped and trembled.

You looked up at him.

He was neon pink. You locked eyes and then both looked away.

And then a tendril wriggled against your side digging in just a bit and-

You laughed, writhing.

Oh-

OH NO.

Sitting up you scooted away, pointing at him, “No!”

He laughed, “So, I’m not the _only_ one who is ticklish.”

“Don’t even.” 

“It’s only fair that I know your weaknesses too!” he gestured, “After all, you keep notes on mine.”

“That’s literally my job!”

“And knowing other’s weaknesses is part of mine.”

You pulled your knees up, looking at him, “What, are you keeping a list?”

He waved a tentacle dismissively, a touch of panic in his voice, “No, no, nothing like that.”

“...You are lying.” you narrowed your eyes.

Panic appeared on his features, “It’s only for research!”

“You’re keeping notes on me for _research?_ ”

He went pink, “I… well... ” he tapped his fingers together, awkwardly, “I thought you might be an assassin! And besides that if things did happen it would be better to have an idea of what you were like.”

“Okay, you went through my notes. That means I get to at least see this list.” he went pale. You grinned at him, “It’s only fair.”

“Well, I don’t have it with me.”

You gave him a look, “Uh huh, sure. I don’t believe you. You are a genius. A goofy genius but a genius. There’s no way you don’t have that shit memorized.” you pointed at him.

Bright pink. You were right. You made your way over to him, sitting attentively next to him.

He was trying to look anywhere but at you. Time to pull out a gambit that you weren’t sure would work…

Looking up at him, you reached out, putting a hand on his arm, “ _Please?_ ”

If you didn’t know better you would have thought one of those pressure rays was on him from how tense he got. He finally looked at you and sighed, “Okay, okay. Just don’t _look_ at me like that.”

Laughing, you sat with your back against the couch, looking at him. He was having a lot of trouble looking your way.

Was he…

Was he embarrassed to say them?

“I’m sorry would writing it down be better?” you smirked.

“Excellent idea.” and just like that, there was a list in your hands. Meanwhile, his face was in his hands.

You looked over the list.

_Mx. Reader’s Weaknesses:_

  * __Snacks.__


  * _They run into danger without thinking._


  * _Prone to panic._


  * _Consentacles._


  * _Tends to stare._


  * _Easily startled._


  * _Doesn't like my disguises._


  * _Stubborn._


  * _Blames themself for things._


  * _Rather aggressive for a pacifist._


  * _Doesn't appreciate the work put into making guidebooks._


  * _Closed off in their personal life._


  * _Not very active._


  * _Not the best at cleaning their apartment._


  * _Likes ridiculous shirts._


  * _Does not keep a well-stocked medicine cabinet._


  * _Called him Gross in their notes._


  * _Thinks Karasuma is a 'pretty chill dude'_


  * _Was shocked he had a love life._


  * _Asks heavy questions and ruins the mood._


  * _Compromises their work for favors._


  * _Falls asleep during movies._


  * _It's very obvious when they're trying to figure something out._


  * _Has the worst timing._


  * _Defensive of others to their own detriment._


  * _Gets hurt very often for a health teacher._


  * _Torments people by bringing up their mistakes._


  * _Responds without thinking._


  * _Can't hold their liquor._


  * _Becomes a tease when drunk._


  * _Isolated in their personal life._


  * _Thinks poorly of themself._


  * _Dense as Karasuma._



Oh, you could give him shit about this for _months_.

“Let’s see here… some of these seem a little questionable. How is _‘Thinks Karasuma is a 'pretty chill dude'’_ a weakness?” you sat back with a lazy smile.

“DONT READ THEM OUT LOUD!!!” his voice hitched with alarm.

You laughed, “Oh but why not? Does that make your tentacles _quiver?_ ”

_“READER!!”_

“What? You can’t protest! It’s one of my weaknesses, number twenty-seven!”

He groaned, sliding down to the floor. 

You cackled, “Okay, but what do you mean I _‘Compromise my work for favors’_?”

“You offered to leave out information if I would stop going through your notes...” he looked a touch deflated.

“Uh huuuuuh… I guess you know why I tend to stare now… _WHY_ is _consentacles_ on here?”

He chuckled, “I think we can both agree that is one of your weaknesses.”

You felt your face flush, “Okay, but what do you mean about me having bad timing?”

“You’ve surprised me!” his voice crept up an octave and you laughed.

“I… I didn’t realize you’d noticed my autopilot.” you rubbed at your face.

“Autopilot?”

“Number twenty-eight...”

“I believe I noticed that the night you asked me to stay over.” he smirked, “You looked quite baffled when I showed back up with my things.”

“I just… respond sometimes and-”

“And answer with what you really want?”

He locked eyes with you. You were going to bust a blood vessel from blushing so hard.

“YeahsureIguess...”

“Oh there’s one I need to add.” in a flash the paper disappeared and reappeared in your hand.

  * __Ticklish.__



Of course. You sighed, rubbing at your face. When you looked back at him, there were green stripes around his head.

“And you say _I_ torture people.”

“Nurufufufu~” he leaned in, looking you in the face, “I did say before that it’s fun to watch you squirm.~”

_OH_

_OKAY._

He quickly gave you a peck on the lips and sat back, looking proud of himself.

Goddamn octopus.

Goddamn motherfucking octopus.

With a sigh, you sat next to him, leaning against his side. His arm looped over your shoulders. Face still decorated with green stripes...

You had a good response to that...

“Hmmm… Maybe I shouldn’t bring that outfit Irina got me to Okinawa...”

“What?” he looked at you, green stripes fading in an instant.

“Yeah, she took me out yesterday and had an outfit tailored for me, but I don’t know… I mean our tastes aren’t really compatible…”

His eyes went a bit wide and you felt a blush rising in your cheeks. Did he… did he really want to see more of you like that?

OH KAY.

“I’m sure Irina would be upset if you didn’t wear it...”

“Hmmm… true...”

“I imagine you’ll be bringing your swimsuit as well...”

You glanced up at him sidelong. A blush was coloring his cheeks.

Well then…

“Well, it is the beach.” you chuckled, “Kinda need one if we’re going in the water at all.”

There was a soft silence and you felt it…

The weight of tomorrow settled on the two of you.

Tomorrow was the first day of the trip. On arrival the kids had said they were going to put their plan into action…

The arm around you withdrew causing you to look up in surprise. He moved, laying back down. A hand reached out and gently pulled you over. You joined him.

A hand cupped your cheek softly. You were the one on your back and suddenly you could understand his worry. It felt vulnerable. Exposed. You’d forgotten it felt like that…

The blanket was pulled up over the both of you and the television switched off. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your lips. His hand trailed from your cheek down your neck then down the center of your chest. When it came to rest on your stomach you finally let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. He chuckled and sank his head down on the pillow, pulling you close to him. 

“It will be alright.” he whispered, “I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

You gave him a soft kiss, “You better not. We’re going somewhere next weekend.”

He chuckled gently, “Of course...”

The tiny plant clock on your entertainment center read 12:00 AM.

It was August first.

_Seven and a half months left til the end of the world._

Burying your face in his neck, you held him tighter.

_What you wouldn’t give for a little more time like this..._


	65. The Games We Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!  
> They are finally on their way to Okinawa holy shit.

You woke up early to a cacophony of sound as your alarm and his went off at the same time.

God.

What a fucking NOISE.

You reached out, switching them off and yelped in surprise as you were pulled back to the futon.

Laughing, you looked back at him, “We have a trip to get ready for.”

“I took the liberty of setting the alarms twenty minutes early.” he chuckled, green stripes on his face.

“Oh...” you squinted at the phone, yep. Early.

You flopped back down next to him, burying your face in his neck. He chuckled, a hand running through your hair.

“...you think you’ll be okay?” you asked softly.

“And this is why _‘Asks heavy questions and ruins the mood._ ’ is on the list…” he sighed, kissing your forehead.

“I just worry,” you whispered.

“I know...” he pulled you close, nuzzling you, “But remember life is meant to be relished. Spending all your time worrying about what’s to come...”

You nodded silently.

“We are going to a tropical island.” he laughed, “It is the culmination of our students’ efforts!”

You looked up at him. His smile was as bright as ever.

“We should enjoy it.” he kissed your forehead, “Now, for the _real_ reason I woke you up so early...”

“Huh?”

Suddenly your face was being peppered in kisses, you laughed, struggling a bit…

Only to end up tickled.

You shrieked in laughter, trying to get away. You found yourself, instead, pulled back in for another kiss.

He looked positively devilish, “I can’t very well have you starting off the morning so morose can I?”

Catching your breath you gave him a look. Green stripes.

_Goddamn octopus._

But you couldn’t shake your smile.

“Was that one of your assassination techniques?” you narrowed your eyes at him, “Disarming them with tickling?”

“I think it might be quite effective in this form but no, it was not,” he smirked and you rolled your eyes, burying your face in his chest again.

“I have to shower… and check my bags… and-”

“Shower, yes, I checked your bags last night.”

“When the fuck-”

“I happened to get up in the middle of the night.”

“You mean you didn’t sleep.”

“I did!” he insisted, “Just… after that.”

You sighed and laughed, “What am I going to do with you?”

“Whatever you’d like, I hope.”

_OH._

The two of you looked at each other for a moment, going pink, and you sat up, “I’m gonna go get that shower.”

“I’ll see about breakfast.”

You both departed hurriedly for your respective distractions.

After grabbing a shower, bolting down breakfast, and double-checking your bag you found yourself standing in your living room trying to take stock, for the thirtieth time, if you had everything.

“Let’s see, it’s the bus to the Yokohama line and then-”

“I can simply take you to the Shinkansen, Reader.”

“You can but we need to be more careful about the kids. If we keep showing up around the same time they’re going to get more suspicious.”

“True...” he sounded disappointed.

You chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be sick of me once we’re off Okinawa.”

“I highly doubt it!”

He swept you up into his tentacles and you gave a shriek of laughter. Lips were on yours, your hands cupping his face. When you parted you looked at him, “Okay, but you’re definitely going to be sick of everyone by the end of this. We have seven hours on the train and the ferry is what?”

“Twenty-six hours.” he looked ill at the thought.

“Pick up ginger pills on the way then.”

He gave an emphatic nod, setting you back down.

“You still need to pack.”

He chuckled, “Mach 20 speed is quite helpful in that regard.”

You looked at the time, “I better head out. Could you lock up when you leave?”

He went just a touch pink and nodded, “Of course.”

Reaching out, you pulled at his collar, tugging him down for a kiss, “Remember, we’re going somewhere at the end of the week.”

He chuckled, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

On the bus, you hugged your bag to yourself, mostly as a way to cope with feelings.

There were a LOT of them right now. You thought of all of last night's closeness, the touching, the kissing, the way he said he'd missed you…

If that was the last night you spent together…

Well…

That would be a good memory to have.

And if it wasn't…

You held your bag a little tighter and pressed your face into it, smiling.

He'd been so cute this morning.

You remembered his list of weaknesses for you and tried not to laugh.

Even if…

Even if the trip meant losing him…

You were so grateful to have these moments with him…

After one sleepy train ride, you found yourself at the station. Karasuma was already there with a few tired looking early risers. Isogai was leaning on his suitcase nodding off, Kimura was drinking some canned fruit juice looking exhausted, and Hara was periodically yawning, adjusting bags.

You gave a wave. Karasuma returned it and the kids perked up just a bit.

"Hey, everyone ready for the longest school trip?" you asked.

Another voice spoke up from behind you, "Honestly? I'm ready to die."

You looked back to see Chiba approaching and laughed, “It’s early, I know.”

He sighed, “That’s an understatement.”

Isogai gave you a tired smile, “Sorry, Mx. Reader, it’s just hard to be excited this early.”

“I know, trust me. We’ve got a long trip ahead of us.”

The students trickled into the group slowly, most of them looking tired and generally not quite functional yet. Karasuma being Karasuma meant a distinct lack of small talk. The sleepiness was catching. You found yourself nodding off.

Irina scared the bejeezus out of you when she arrived and tapped your shoulder, “Are they serious with this thirty-three hour travel time crap? A plane can get there in two hours.”

You gave a nod, “Yeah but I mean hey, at least we’re first-class this time?”

“First class does _not_ make up for twenty-six hours on a boat.”

“Now, now, Miss Irina. I think it’s going to be a _wonderful_ experience!” you turned to see that Korosensei had arrived. Terrible disguise intact, of course.

You tried not to grin given you knew for a fact he was not looking forward to the ferry trip in the _slightest_.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“Wait…” you looked at Karasuma, “How are we doing the rooms...”

Karasuma looked like you’d just force-fed him a lemon.

_Ohhh boy..._

“We’ll be sharing, of course! Four to a room, it’s perfect!” Korosensei threw an arm around his stern coworker with a grin huge.

“Oh _hell_ no.” Irina protested.

You laughed, “Oh come on Irina, you literally spent a whole evening with all of us in a karaoke room. Can it be much worse?”

“I’ll be sleeping in the same room with the octo-perv.” she gave you a look.

You’d tell her it wasn’t really terrible but that would give away too much.

“It won’t be that bad. Besides, we’re going to be on a boat.” you chuckled, “He gets motion sick, so I mean how bad can he be?”

She didn’t look convinced.

“And I mean, it’s not like we’re stuck in there the whole time.”

Karasuma nodded, “There are amenities on board.”

She definitely still didn’t look convinced but seemed to accept it. You smirked just slightly and leaned on her shoulder, “I mean, you’ll _also_ be rooming with Karasuma, just saying.”

She shot you the dirtiest look and you just smiled innocently. Looking past her you saw Korosensei poking at Karasuma. He caught your eye and gave you a wink before turning his attention back to his target.

What a fucking doofus.

You failed at holding back your grin.

When you first stepped into the train car you noticed an immediate difference.

“Oh my god, we got the first-class train too?”

Isogai was boarding behind you and perked up, “That’s right! We did!” 

Unlike the other car, with rows of three seats, this one held two rows of two seats. There was significant leg room and it looked like they reclined.

Oh god, _bless_.

The kids piled in, picking out their spots. You grabbed a window seat and Irina sat in the row in front of you. Karasuma approached but before he could sit next to you Korosensei stole the spot forcing him to sit next to Irina.

Karasuma didn’t look pleased.

You tried to hide your smile.

Once everyone was packed in, most of the kids fell asleep, snuggled into their respective seats. It wasn’t long before you had nodded off in your own seat. The train was relatively quiet this early.

You woke up sometime later, groggy and rubbing at your face.

“Good morning!” you looked over to see Korosensei grinning at you. The seats ahead of you were empty.

“Hey...” you yawned and sat up, “Where did…?”

“Irina went to get something to drink. Karasuma I believe is taking a phone call.”

“Of course.” you chuckled and sat up, shaking your head a bit to clear it, “Man… I guess I didn’t get enough sleep last night after all...”

He chuckled lightly and you noticed the pink tinge to his cheeks. Cute…

“So, how much longer?”

“About forty minutes til the next stop and around five hours left of the trip.”

“And I thought the Kyoto trip took a while...”

“But it does give everyone some time to rest and plan.”

You gave a nod, “If we spend all day sleeping on the train, though no one is going to want to sleep tonight.”

“Hm… true. Perhaps we could arrange for an activity for some of the students?”

“Maybe...” you looked around, “Another train car rented out?”

He nodded, “Apparently the government stepped in the buy out the additional seats again.”

“What?” you stared at him, “And they can’t be bothered to install _AC_ in the schoolhouse?”

“I suppose some things are just more important by their standards.”

You’d be angrier but by now this was just the state of things.

“Okay, so… four to a room on the ferry. Same in the hotel?”

“I believe so?” he paused, “Though… A Class only had two chaperones listed. Hm...”

“Oh, Karasuma is going to hate that.” you laughed.

“Hm?” Karasuma had just returned and was looking at the two of you as if you were a pair of unruly students.

“We were just discussing the rooming situation on Okinawa.” Korosensei explained, “I suppose we’re also doing four to a room there?”

“No, thankfully the government bought out the hotel. We’ll have the run of the place. I intended to bring that up with you on the ferry so we could sort rooming assignments.”

“Oh!” Korosensei chuckled, “Honestly, the Ministry should throw their money to better things. Perhaps fixing up the school building for instance...”

Karasuma huffed, “We both know that’s not happening.” he sat down, “We could do four to a room, it would make less work on the staff but I think I’d rather prefer if we didn’t.”

You smirked to yourself and looked over at Korosensei, “So, maybe instead we do two to a room?” you suggested to him casually, “I’m sure the students would enjoy the space and you could room with Karasuma…”

It was funny how you could tell Karasuma tensed at your suggestion just by seeing the top of his head over his seat.

“That sounds delightful!” Korosensei sounded positively evil.

You _almost_ felt bad for Karasuma.

Irina came back, her drinks in hand, “What does?”

“Oh, we were talking about how it’s probably going to be two to a room.” you shrugged, “Figured that Korosensei would probably room with Karasuma.”

Irina’s eyes flicked to Karasuma and back to you. There was something to her expression and you had an idea you knew _exactly_ what it was.

“Pretty bold of you to assume I’m going to room with _you_.” she snarked.

You laughed, “Really? After our little shopping trip, you don’t want to room with me?”

“You made me go to a _box store_ ,” she said it like you’d suggested she pet a dead rat.

“You agreed.”

“Well, I still don’t want to room with you.” you saw her eyes slide to Karasuma.

“Kay, I mean I guess we could do individual rooms… there is the space for it.”

“We’re giving the staff enough work as is splitting it up into twos.” Korosensei said offhand, “I could always room with Irina.~”

“OH _HELL NO_.” she squeezed past Karasuma, taking her seat and you heard her sharply tell him, “We’re rooming together.”

“Uh...” he paused, then sighed in defeat, “Fine, but no whining or I’m moving to another room. The staff can deal.”

You heard her scoff, “As if I whine.”

It took everything in your power to not laugh at that. You smirked over at Korosensei and offered him a fist. He bumped his against it lightly.

This trip was going to be interesting…

One train swap later and the kids were perking back up a bit. Korosensei made his way up the aisle until he was standing at the front, “Alright, children, there’s been some changes in the arrangements for the rooms so I’ll need your attention.”

When they quieted he continued, “Now, some of you may be aware that we have a significant difference in our numbers between Class A and Class E. The result is that we were overbooked for rooms to begin with. The school, of course, saw to correct that… however, the Ministry of Defense in all their excellent funding management has opted to buy out the hotel for the remainder of our stay. This means that you have the option, should you so choose, to be two to a room instead of four at the resort.”

“Nice!” you saw Yoshida and Muramatsu high five each other and chuckled.

“Accommodations with four to a room are two double beds and a spare cot. So the options are to have entire beds to yourselves or to get cozy.” he chuckled, “This will be up to you, of course. The ferry, meanwhile, will be four to a room. Though there may be a few rooms not quite filled. We have eight rooms available. All first class.” he held up the clipboard in his hands before handing it off to the kids in the first row, “I’ll be passing this around, please indicate your room partners on the sheet for the ferry and the hotel.”

“Do they have to be the same people?” Kurahashi piped up, curious.

“Oh no no, we understand that it’s your vacation. Should you wish to have different roommates between the hotel and the ferry, that is fine.”

“Will these be co-ed rooms?” it was, of course, Okajima.

“No.” Korosensei gave him a look, “They will not.”

“Yeah?” Karma drawled, a smirk on his face, “So why do Professor Bitch and Karasuma get to room together?”

“You know very well that it’s because they’re adults, Karma.”

“Hmmm… so you’re rooming with Mx. Reader huh?” Nakamura was looking over the clipboard now.

“Yes. Unfortunately, Karasuma doesn’t want me as a roommate.” he pouted, rather convincingly.

“Guess both couples get some alone time then,” Karma smirked.

Korosensei went pink and quickly bordered to a shade of red, “Karma! That’s very inappropriate!”

The kids were having a good laugh about it. You were trying not to die internally.

Goddammit, you were going to have to keep an eye on those two.

...speaking of…

You tapped lightly on the back of Karasuma’s seat, “Hey, do I need to worry about Okano and Terasaka on this trip?”

“Their orders still stand but given the nature of their plans, I don’t think you’ll have to worry… much.” he sounded very self-satisfied with that.

You sighed.

“Now! How about a rousing game of Shiritori to pass the time?” Korosensei spoke up over Nakamura trying to ask something, most likely regarding those photos of Tomita Farm…

“Shiritori? Seriously?” Kimura asked. His tone sounded like Korosensei had just suggested they play patty cake or something equally childish.

“What?” Korosensei looked to him, “It is an excellent way to stretch your vocabulary skills.”

“If we were like, ten...” Nakamura chuckled.

“What’s Shiritori?” it was Irina.

And just like that, the kids were interested.

“Okay, if Professor Bitch plays then yes.” Nakamura grinned.

Korosensei looked a bit put out at being upstaged but Irina sighed and rose to her feet, joining the rest near the front. Given the car had been bought out there was no lack of seats…

You joined her. Why not? You still had ages before you got where you were headed.

Irina looked at the kids, “Okay, so what is this game?”

Isogai leaned over, explaining across the aisle, “Basically it's a word game. You have to use the kana from the last word to start the first word.”

You leaned around the seat, “If you ever played the one word chain game in English where you start with the last words' first letter. It's basically that.”

“Oh, that’s not hard.” Irina scoffed.

“We going to do rounds or...?” Maehara looked to Korosensei.

“Why not make things interesting?” he chuckled, “A free for all. First person to respond starts.”

“And,” you added, “You have to give the English word for it too.”

“Just in case you don’t know one, huh?” Karma smirked.

You waved him off.

“Shiritori.” Maehara piped up, then paused, “Uh… taking the rear?”

There were scattered laughs among the group at the turn of phrase. 

“Dude, you did that so you didn’t have to think of a word,” Sugino said.

Maehara shrugged, “Still had to think of the translation.”

“Ringo.” Sugaya leaned over his seat, “Apple.”

“Gomennasai!” Okuda laughed, “I am sorry.”

“Inu.” the voice was clear and made everyone turn to look at the back. Karasuma didn’t even look up from his phone as he spoke, “Dog.”

There were some surprised looks exchanged between the kids and a few laughs.

“Since we’re going to Okinawa. Nunchaku.” Karma smirked, “Ah… Nunchucks?” he looked to Irina and you for confirmation.

You gave a nod.

“Kudamono!” Hara piped up, “Fruits!”

“Fruit.” Irina corrected.

You chuckled a bit.

“Nōto.” Nagisa said, holding up his own notepad, “Notebook.”

Kurahashi piped up next, “Tonbo. Dragonfly!” 

Irina smirked, “Bōrupen. Ballpoint pen.”

“Nope! Sorry, Miss Bitch but you’re out!” Nakamura laughed.

“What? Why?” she looked at the students, offended.

“You ended the word with n.” Yada said, “Words don’t start with that sound.”

“What?” Irina looked at her.

You laughed, “The kana that just means n by itself. Most words start with kana like ne or ni. N usually ends a word which means the next person can’t start a word with it.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?!” Irina snapped.

The kids laughed.

“Well, you know now!” Megu grinned, “So. Shiritori. Taking from the end.”

“Risu!” it was Ritsu piping up from Nagisa’s phone peeking out of his vest pocket, “Squirrel!”

“Suzume.” it was Chiba, “Sparrow.”

“Megane.” Takebayashi gave a slight smile, pushing his up, “Glasses.”

“Neko. Cat.” Sugino added.

“Oh!” Kurahashi sounded ecstatic, “Konchuu! Insect!”

“Usagi.” Nakamura smirked, “Rabbit.”

“Gyūnyū.” Kayano chirped, “Milk.”

“Umi. The sea.” Kanzaki said quietly.

Okano laughed and nodded to her, “Minato! Port!”

“Tori.” Okuda spoke up, “Bird!”

Sugaya grinned, “Ringo. Apple.”

“Hey, you did that last time!” Maehara pointed at him.

“Yeah but that was last game,” Sugaya smirked.

“Gorira.” Hayami said, “Gorilla”

“Rappa. Trumpet.” Isogai pitched in.

“Pantsu.” Okajima’s expression told you everything you needed to know about _that_ translation, “Panties.”

“Of course, you perv.” Megu huffed.

“Tsumiki. Ah… blocks?” Kimura looked to Korosensei.

“Building blocks, yes.” the octopus encouraged.

“Kitsune. Fox.” Karma chuckled.

Mimura perked up, “Nettowāku. Network.”

“Kuma.” Yoshida leaned back, “Bear.”

“Maguro. Tuna.” Maehara added.

“Roku!” you grinned, “Six.”

The kids seemed to be enjoying this more than they’d let on they would.

Yada smiled, “Kusa. Grass!”

“Sashimi. Uh...” Muramatsu paused, “Cut fish? Sliced fish?”

“Sliced.” Irina agreed.

“Mise.” the voice came from the back again. When you turned to look, again, Karasuma wasn’t even looking up, “Store.”

“Sensei!” Korosensei pointed at himself, of course, “Teacher!”

Nagisa chuckled, “Ike. Pond.”

“Keshi gomu. Eraser!” Irina sounded triumphant.

“Yeah!” Nakamura laughed.

“Now you got it!” Yada grinned.

“Mukade.~” Hazama’s voice was dark and dramatic, “Centipede.”

A few of the kids shuddered and you chuckled. Centipedes seemed to be pretty universally despised here.

“Deka!” Fuwa held up a hand in a circle to her eye, “Detective!”

“Hey, but that’s slang!” Okano protested.

“It counts!” Fuwa laughed.

“Kare raisu!” Hara piped up, “Curry Rice!”

“Suiei! Swimming.” Megu grinned.

You laughed, “Ika! Cuttlefish.”

Korosensei went a touch pink at that.

“Karasu. Crow.” Karasuma, again, from the back.

“Sushi. Uh...” Nagisa took a second, thinking.

“Sushi.” Irina supplied with a chuckle, “It’s the same.”

“Loanwords,” you smirked.

Nagisa nodded, “Sushi, I guess.”

“Shabu shabu! Hotpot!” Hara had a huge grin.

“Buta.” Terasaka leaned over her seat with a smirk, pushing his nose up at her, “Pig.”

“HEY!” she punched him in the arm.

“Hey yourself!” he shook his arm, “Shit that hurt...”

“Ahem!” Nakamura cleared her throat and stood, looking at the group, “Takoyaki.”

 _Fuck_.

She grinned at you and the train car devolved into chants of “Octopus Balls”.

You buried your face in your hands.

Welcome to hell. Welcome to hell. Welcome to hell.

It took a while for the kids to chill out after that. Karasuma had to step in with a strong reminder that they were on public transport. After that, things calmed down. The children went back to talking amongst themselves and you retreated to your seat.

Things you would never be able to live down in this classroom.

Consentacles and Octopus Balls.

You rubbed at your temple for a moment and pulled out your phone.

There was movement beside you as Korosensei took his seat. Looking over at him, you sighed, “That’s just my name now I guess.”

He laughed, “I’m afraid so.”

He pulled out his own phone and not even a moment later yours vibrated. You glanced at him and opened the message.

[Cuddle fish.]

Stifling a laugh, you replied, [Well, you are.]

He went bright pink and you smirked, pretending to be interested in the view out the window.

Your phone vibrated once again and you looked down at it.

[ ( ´ ▽ ` ) Not until we’re in our room of course.]

OH KAY.

You turned your attention out the window, your face burning.

He chuckled next to you.

This trip was going to kill you if it didn’t kill him first.

A solid three hours later your gaggle of students and coworkers piled off of the train. Korosensei was looking a bit pale. You saw him pop a few more ginger pills. You certainly hoped he would be able to manage the ferry trip.

Karasuma took lead, taking a headcount and then leading everyone to the local tram. A few stops and a walk down tree-lined streets later, you reached the ferry.

After the train ride and the walk to stretch everyone’s legs, the ferry was practically a novelty to the kids. Once you were boarded you had to herd them down to their rooms. Everyone was excited even if this would be the longest leg of the journey.

Korosensei had handed out copies of the room partners to you and your fellow teachers to help everyone get organized. You gave the sheet a quick read over:

_D 10: Korosensei, Karasuma, Irina, Reader_   
_D 9: Isogai, Kimura, Maehara_   
_D 8: Mimura, Okajima, Chiba, Sugaya_   
_D 7: Terasaka, Yoshida, Muramatsu, Takebayashi_   
_D 6: Nagisa, Karma, Sugino_   
_D 4: Hayami, Fuwa, Nakamura, Hazama_   
_D 3: Okano, Yada, Kataoka, Kurahashi_   
_D 2: Kayano, Okuda, Kanzaki_

Okay. Simple enough. 

You found your room relatively quickly. You opened the door to reveal your first-class accommodations.

Right by the door to either side were bunk beds built into the walls, complete with ladders and privacy curtains. The carpet was a rich dark blue. You made your way to the slightly more open room just past the bunk beds. A low table, a sort of low counter with drawers sported a tv. In a small alcove was a sink.

Well… it wasn't a mat in a shared dormitory room…

Definitely more private and cozy than the economy options.

You put your bags in the room and then headed out to check the kids’ rooms, making sure everyone was getting settled. When you were satisfied that everyone was packed away where they should be you headed back. Irina was already reclining on the bottom of one of the two bunk beds, “We’ve got a lot of time to kill before we get started.”

“It was the itinerary the school gave us.” Karasuma sighed, “The children are going to need lunch, I’m sure.”

He was sitting on the bottom left bunk looking like he'd rather be anywhere except on vacation.

They were both looking at you.

Okay. Well, you guessed lunch was going to be your job then.

“I’ll check if the restaurant is open. If nothing else there’s a vending machine with hot meals I’m pretty sure...”

Karasuma nodded to you.

You headed out of the room and almost ran face-first into the octopus.

He seemed surprised, his eyes flicking to the door and back to you.

“We’re on lunch duty.”

He chuckled and you both headed down the hall.

“I think they just wanna secretly make out,” you said with a smirk.

“They were rather invested in it at the nomikai.”

You snorted, “Don’t say that too loud. If the kids find out Karasuma will throw us _both_ in the ocean.”

He chuckled, “Given his luck so far I don’t think he’d be successful.”

“Not with _you_ maybe,” you said, tapping lightly on the door to the cabin next to yours.

The door opened to reveal Isogai, “Oh, hello sir, Mx, what is it?”

“Well, we did just get off a long train ride. Thought you guys might be hungry.”

“It is lunch hours. The restaurant should be open now.” Korosensei supplied, “Of course there are also vending machines and shop.”

“I think-”

Maehara threw an arm around Isogai’s shoulders, “Yeah, we’ll come. Hey, Kimura, want some lunch?”

“Sure!”

Three in tow you made your way around the hall knocking on doors and checking in with the rest of the students. By the end of it you, your awkward-looking companion, and a gaggle of twenty-six children were taking up a good portion of the ship’s onboard restaurant.

You noticed Maehara half dragging Isogai through ordering. When the boys sat at the table next to yours you noticed Isogai was looking shamefaced at his meal. Maehara nudged him. You glanced over to Korosensei, “Hey, do you know if Isogai is alright?”

Korosensei followed your gaze to their table and then back to his meal, “I imagine that Maehara paid for his meal.”

“...oh?”

“Isogai’s family isn’t very well off,” he said, keeping his voice low.

You paused, looking at him, “Oh...”

He hadn’t mentioned it to you or on his quiz for that matter...

He gave a small nod, “I imagine the boy was going to try to rely on the vending machines as they’re cheaper.”

You made a face, you’d been in tight spots financially before and felt for the kid. While vending machines here had a wider array of options and such, a meal cooked for you was generally more filling.

“I should let him know it’s okay to accept help I think...” you said, looking down at your own plate.

“I think that would be a fine idea.” he gave a nod, “It can be hard on a boy his age to rely on other people.”

You felt a small pang at that and glanced at him. He kept his attention on his meal but you remembered the way he had turned his back to you in the field.

_He grew up in the worst slum you could imagine. A world without trust or kindness..._

Of course, he would know Isogai’s troubles.

You looked back at your own meal and took a bite, thinking.

What had he been like at their age?

Had he even still _been_ with his parents?

“I see your Detective Face is back.” he chuckled.

Shit. Caught.

“Uh, yeah, just thinking.”

“About Isogai?”

“Uh… yeah,” you said, taking another bite to cover your lie.

He chuckled, “Liar.”

“Shut up.” you shook your head, “It’s more questions I can’t ask right now anyway.”

He gave a nod.

“Hey, why you two lovebirds talking so close together?” Nakamura said from the next table.

Fuck. You looked over.

Nakamura and Karma were both grinning over at you from their respective tables.

“We’re just talking about the lesson plans.” you replied, “Can’t let you guys get too complacent.”

“Nurufufufu~” Korosensei looked over at them, “Things will be quite a bit harder in the coming semester.”

“Uh-huh…” Karma smirked, “So, got any more dates planned?”

Korosensei sputtered, “What?!”

“Those pictures of you two at the farm were preeeeetty romantic.” Nakamura chuckled.

Thank god you’d taken some time to consider an approach to this.

“Please.” you scoffed, “He dragged me to Hokkaido on a weekend on the promise of ice cream. Then he spent the entire time lecturing me about lavender strains and farm culture in Japan.”

Nakamura didn’t look convinced.

“Reader!” he looked at you in surprise, “I thought you enjoyed the trip!”

You laughed, “I mean, the ice cream was good.”

He made a face.

You certainly hoped he wasn’t taking you seriously.

“Some of those nomikai pictures were pretty racy too,” Kayano said, looking over at Karma.

Oh no.

It was _spreading_.

“Wasn’t Reader like in his lap in one of them?” Nakamura smirked.

You sighed, “Alcohol was involved.”

“Classic excuse.”

You shook your head.

You heard Kayano quietly murmur, “You know, Reader was really dodgy when I asked if they liked someone.”

Goddammit.

You hadn’t even LIKED the octopus at that point. You took a bite of your food.

How the fuck were you going to make it through this trip?

…

Deflecting.

 _That’s_ how.

“You know, you guys should really be paying more attention.” you looked over at them, “Notice anyone missing?”

There was a long moment, the kids looking among themselves.

Nakamura’s eyes went wide, “ _Oh my god?!_ ”

You gave a shrug, taking a bite.

“What?” Kurahashi looked over.

“Professor Bitch and Mr. Karasuma aren’t _here_ ,” Nakamura replied.

“Oh yes, they specifically requested we take you to lunch,” Korosensei said, casually.

“Hell, she _insisted_ she didn’t want to room with me at the resort...” you said, gesturing, “But like she took me out shopping the other day. Can’t imagine why she’d be so opposed to rooming with me. Now the octopus I can get but she seemed pretty insistent on sharing a hotel room with Karasuma...”

And just like that, the switch was flipped. The kids were now focused on what those two could _possibly_ be doing in a bunk bed.

You glanced over at Korosensei, sharing a look of relief.

Irina and Karasuma were both going to kill you, sure, but what else was new?

After lunch, the kids were given free rein. Some went to their rooms to watch TV, a few to the arcade, and others simply hung out in the public areas looking out the windows. The ship pulled away from port and you were off.

You moved among the kids, checking in with them. Korosensei did the same when he wasn't popping ginger pills in an attempt to keep from getting ill.

Unfortunately, pills could only do so much in the face of hours at sea and he was already looking a bit green.

You rounded to the arcade and found some of the students clustered around a game cabinet. Curious, you leaned through the crowd.

Kanzaki vs. Karma. Well… interesting.

And in a fighting game no less. That hadn't seemed to be Kanzaki's preference from what you remembered of the Kyoto trip.

She was absolutely _kicking_ Karma's ass though.

"How the hell?" He laughed, sitting back as she won a third round, "You know Kanzaki if I didn't know any better I'd think you were lying about only playing this game once before."

She gave him an apologetic smile, "I mean… it's a fighting game. I've played enough of them to pick up on the controls. The rest is just reflexes."

“The rest is just reflexes, she says.” he chuckled, shaking his head, “Way to be modest.”

Karma got up, watching as Sugino took the controls. Kanzaki gave him a smile and the boy went a bit pink. You wondered if you were any better at hiding your feelings from them…

Oof, yikes, that was a bit of a terrifying thought.

Isogai was hanging around the group, watching, you approached him, “Hey, Isogai.”

He looked up with a smile, “Hey, Mx. Reader.”

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” He seemed a little surprised and nodded. You gestured for him to follow, “Walk with me.”

He strolled alongside you as you made your way along viewing windows, “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just wanted to check in with you. Korosensei updated me on your family’s situation...”

“Oh...” he rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed, “Uh… yeah.”

“I know that’s a really rough situation and I want you to know that it’s okay if you need help sometimes.”

“I know...” he sighed, “Just… kinda wished that it wasn’t so often...”

“Well, hey, no judgment okay? Have you seen this class?” you chuckled, “I’m pretty sure no one is going to give you flack for it.”

He gave a bit of a shrug.

“Well, think of this okay?” he looked up at you as you continued, “A lot of your _teachers_ in this class have been in places like where you are right now. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask us if no one else.”

He relaxed just a touch and nodded, “Thanks, Mx. Reader. I’ll try.”

You gave him a smile, “So, how do you think the assassination plan is coming along?”

“It’s come together really well. We just have to check out the location once we get there and make any last-minute adjustments.”

“Good.”

“...Hey, Mx. Reader, you’re really good friends with Korosensei...”

“Yeah?” you looked over at him.

Where was this going?

“And you’re a pacifist...”

“I’m not going to interfere with the assassination if that’s what you’re asking.” you looked out the window, “That’s part of my job.”

“Are you sure?”

You gave a nod, looking back at him, “Yeah. I am.”

“Well… cause you know… no offense but you kinda get in the middle of things...” he paused, “We don’t want you to get hurt or anything.”

You nodded, “I know. I’m not going to step in.”

He looked a little relieved, “Okay.”

“So, you guys have been talking about that huh?” you chuckled.

“Well, I mean, you’ve kinda got a record for getting hurt on the job.”

You laughed, “I’m trying to fix that. Surprised Okano and Terasaka haven’t come after me on the ship.”

“Karasuma told them they have to wait ‘til the island because there are other passengers on board.”

“Thank god for small miracles I guess...”

“Hey, Isogai!” it was Maehara, coming up to throw an arm around him, “We’re going to go up on deck, want to come with?”

“Uh,” he looked to you and you nodded, “Sure. Talk to you later, Mx. Reader.”

You gave a wave.

You hadn’t thought about it but…

That could be an issue…

If you couldn’t help stepping in when the kids were in danger how were you going to handle him being in danger…

“Um… Mx. Reader?”

You almost jumped out of your skin, turning to look. Yada was standing there, embarrassed.

“Oh! Sorry,” you laughed, “You snuck up on me.”

“Sorry...” she paused, looked a bit panic and moved to leave, “Um, nevermind, it’s nothing…”

You gave her a smile, “Hey, hey, relax. What’s on your mind?”

“Um...” she looked around for a moment, apparently satisfied that no one was listening in, “I have a question about relationships..."

"Oh?"

Another Okano situation?

She nodded and took a seat at one of the tables by the window. You joined her. Tension had her frame stiff, her movements stilted.

"And what's that?" You asked gently.

You hadn't noticed Yada having any particular inclinations towards anyone in class… Perhaps it was someone on the main campus...

"...is there anything wrong with liking another girl?" She asked in a rush, her voice low, "Like... I mean, outside of just school crush but like... Really liking someone..."

That was not what you'd expected to deal with on this trip but it was a comfortable topic. Far more comfortable than the possibility of your boyfriend being assassinated.

"Not at all!" You gave her a reassuring smile, "Love is a wonderful thing to share with someone. Why? Is there someone you like? Or does someone like you?"

She was quite pink, her body still tense, "Ilikesomeone."

"Do you know if she also likes girls or feels the same way?"

She shook her head, "And… I don't know if she takes me seriously…"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Well… you know…" she looked down, "I… I don't want to be someone's Class S relationship…"

"Their… what?"

She kept her eyes on the table and you saw a drop hit the surface. Reaching into your pocket you pulled out a packet of tissues and passed them to her.

She accepted them, bringing a tissue up and pat at her face.

"Class S… " when she looked up at you her eyes were still threatening to spill over in tears, her expression a bit hard, "You know… like practice dating for when you date a man but like… then you don't date girls when you grow up…"

Ohhhh… you'd heard about this more than once. The term you'd heard wasn't nearly as vague as Class S sounded to you. Then again 'lesbian until graduation' didn't sound as refined you guessed.

"You want to date a girl who is serious about the relationship." You suggested.

She nodded.

"But you're worried this girl won't take you seriously."

She nodded again, wiping at her eyes quickly with the tissue in her hand.

"Well… first of all. It's perfectly normal to want someone who wants to be with you and takes you seriously."

"It's… it's not immature?" She spoke softly, "To want to be with girls when you grow up too?"

You laughed gently, "Not at all. It just means that you like girls. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just part of who you are. I think you're a very mature young lady, Yada. You know you have these feelings and you're asking for help with them. That's a mature thing to do."

She looked up at you, "Miss Irina says we shouldn't rely on other people too much…"

"And I'm sure she had her reasons for that but no one is an island. We're social creatures and our society is built on helping one another."

"...So what should I do? Should I tell her?"

"Well… that choice is up to you." You said, "But here's my advice. Take a little time and think about why you like her. Do you know her well? Is it her you like or the idea that you have of her? When you know those answers you'll know if you should tell her."

"What if I do and she says no?"

"Then you've done your best. You put yourself out there and that's brave." You gave her a gentle smile, "And if anyone gives you a hard time for it let me know and I'll practice my self-defense moves on them."

She laughed a bit looking a little awkward, "Please don't, we really don't want you to keep getting hurt."

Ow, thanks for the vote of confidence kiddo.

You chuckled, "I'll try not to but seriously if anyone gives you trouble about this, you come to me. I'll handle it."

You remembered convos like this in the past. Kids who felt isolated needed support. Especially a kid in E Class. You could see her fear. It was akin to the fear Takebayashi had about possibly leaving for the main campus.

Where did you go if your group of outcasts no longer accepted you?

It was a scary place to be.

And you weren’t going to let either of them feel alone through it.

"Thanks… Mx. Reader."

"You're very welcome." You smirked a bit, you knew she probably felt left out in other ways too, "Soooo is she cute?"

"Mx Reader!" She laughed covering her face. After a few moments, she nodded behind her hands, "She's smart too, and funny. And she's really ah…" she went a bit pink, "She's well built."

You chuckled, "Well, it sounds like you have good taste."

She gave a small grin, "Thanks…"

"Was there anything else on your mind?"

She shook her head slightly.

"Alright. Well,” you looked up, the sun was sinking lower in the sky. Not quite sunset but no longer afternoon, "I think I want to get some pictures on the deck before it gets too dark."

She nodded.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded again and when you stood up you felt small arms wrap around you in a quick right hug before she sprinted off down the hall.

You smiled.

Sometimes something so little could go a long way…

You ended up on the ship deck for awhile. Okajima had been taking photos of the waves. He was actually quite good. Then again you supposed even peeping Tom's needed to have a good eye for visuals and know how to work a camera…

After that, you made your way back to your room and paused at the door.

You hadn't seen Irina or Karasuma since you boarded…

And the door was shut…

Hmmm…

You steeled yourself for an awkward conversation and tapped lightly on the door.

No response.

You slid the door open just a touch and covered your mouth in surprise.

Karasuma was dead asleep, his phone on his chest. Irina was curled in a ball on her own bunk, also asleep.

Oh, there was no way you could pass this up.

Quietly, you pulled out your phone, snapping a couple of photos. Tucking your phone away you slipped into the room, careful not to disturb them. You located your yukata the ferry had provided and your body wash. It was close quarters.

You maneuvered your way back to the door and exited. Thank goodness…

Pulling out your phone, you shot a text to the octopus,

[Heads up. Karasuma and Irina are asleep in our room. So shhh…]

You attached one of the photos and made your way to the showers.

When you were cleansed and dressed you returned to your room. This time when you tapped on the door it slid open revealing Karasuma. You gave him a small wave, "Hey..."

He stepped aside and you tucked your clothes and body wash away. The television was on some action movie. You noticed Irina was missing.

"Where’s the blonde and the octopus?"

"Irina went to the vending area. Said something about a drink. I was going to ask you if you'd seen the octopus."

"Uh...saw him with the kids earlier… it's been a bit though."

He frowned.

"I can ask the kids, I'm sure they have their phones on them."

He nodded. You took a seat on the floor by the table and opened the 3-E chat Ritsu had installed.

**Ritsu:** Mx. Reader is online.

 **Rio Nakamura:** Octopus Balls! Hey Ritsu could we change their name to that?

 **Mx. Reader:** DO NOT

 **Ritsu:** It seems that they don't want me to.

 **OctoBalls:** Of course I don't!

 **OctoBalls:** Ritsu!

 **Ritsu:** So I chose an acceptable substitute.

 **OctoBalls:** ...does anyone know where the octopus is? He's not in the rooms and Karasuma is looking annoyed.

 **Karma Akabane:** Looking for some octopus balls?

 **OctoBalls:** For the love of God, just answer the question.

 **Nagisa Shiota:** Last I saw he was on the deck. He's not looking great. Maybe we'll have a shot at this!

 **Taiga Okajima:** Yeah he was coming out to the deck when I came inside.

 **Taiga Okajima:** Ha. Came inside.

 **Rio Nakamura:** Nice.

 **Megu Kataoka:** Gross. 

**OctoBalls:** Ritsu, can you please change my name?

 **Ritsu:** Of course! 

**CephalopodOrbs:** Thank you.

 **CephalopodOrbs:** I am going to throw my entire class into the ocean.

"According to Nagisa, he's up on the deck trying not to get sick."

"Mn…" Karasuma nodded.

"Well, I think I'm going to lay down for a bit." You rose, stretching, "I think the early morning finally caught up with me…" 

He gave a nod and you clambered up into the top right bunk. Settling in you pulled up the blankets and closed the pale green privacy curtain.

You heard the TV switch off and laughed, "Dude, you can keep watching your show…"

There was a silent pause and you heard the TV switch back on.

You checked your phone.

[That's one for the yearbook!]

You smirked and shot him another message.

[You holding up okay?]

[It's not quite as bad as a year of unregulated medical experimentation but it's certainly trying to be.]

[Remember, look at the horizon.]

[That has proven ineffective.]

[Close your eyes?]

[ That helps a bit… unfortunately, seasickness pills do not seem to work on my new physiology.]

[Oh shit…]

[The ginger is quite helpful for the nausea but I feel like my brain is in a blender. I think once night falls I'll try to take a covert air trip. That does usually improve things.]

[Okay. I'm going to try to get some sleep. Karasuma is here watching something and Irina is I guess in the vending machine lounge.]

[Alright. Sleep well.]

[Good luck.]

[♥️]

[ (＾3＾)/～♡ ]

With that, you rolled to face the wall and let yourself slip into slumber.

You woke up to the sound of the door opening.

"Brats are all in bed." It was Irina, "I got us some refreshments."

You pulled open the curtain just a bit, squinting against the light. She spotted your face in the crack and jumped, "Fuck! You think you could warn somebody before you do that? It's creepy!"

"Sorry…" you pulled back the curtain a bit more, "Was just… you know… sleepin'." 

You noticed that across from you the other curtain was drawn and a few tentacles were dangling over the edge of the bunk below it.

That must be a tight squeeze for him.

"Well, now you're awake." She smirked and held up a can of beer, "The kids are asleep, let's have some fun!"

"You wanna get drunk on a ferry?"

"One beer isn't getting anyone drunk." She snorted, "Thought we could unwind, play a drinking game."

You'd been woken up at…

You checked your phone.

11 pm at night…

For a drinking game.

Eh… what the hell. Why not?

"Sure." You nodded.

She nudged Korosensei's dangling legs, "What about you, Octopus?"

He made a small groan and his head sagged out of the curtain. Irina let out a small shriek and jumped back.

"Seriously, you two fucks are as creepy as that Hazama girl."

"What game are we playing?" Korosensei's voice was strained. He looked positively ill.

"I was thinking I've Never." She smirked.

"...You've never what?" Korosensei looked at her quizzically.

You laughed, "You mean Never Have I Ever?"

She nodded then looked back at Korosensei, "I think you're going to need juice or something. The last thing we need is you hurling in here."

"I got it." You climbed down the ladder and headed out to the vending lounge.

Well… this was going to be interesting.

When you got back Karasuma and Irina were sitting on the floor by the table. Korosensei, meanwhile, was sitting propped up in the corner like a sickly scarecrow. All there, you noticed, had swapped out to their yukatas. You passed the deflated looking octopus a bottle of Pocari Sweat. He accepted it gratefully.

"Ginger pills aren't taking huh?"

He shook his head.

A silver can was shoved across the table at you.

Asashi.

You weren't a big beer fan but eh, your co-workers actually wanted to chill for once. So that was cool.

Karasuma looked at her as a can was pushed his way but begrudgingly accepted it.

"I'll go first. Never have I ever unintentionally flashed someone." Irina smirked, cracking open her drink.

You popped yours open and took a sip, surprised to see that Karasuma did as well. Korosensei did but you had a feeling that was related to the Kyoto bath incident.

"Okay hold on, Irina how haven't you done that?" You looked at her.

She smirked, "Because when I do it it's _always_ intentional."

"Okay, well, mine was at the school when the octopus walked in on me changing." You pointed at him, "Yours was the Kyoto bath incident…"

He gave an embarrassed nod.

All three of you turned to look at Karasuma with interest.

"What?" He looked at the three of you with growing unease.

"Well, when did you flash someone?!" Irina said, "You're supposed to share the story!"

He looked put out, "We were doing drills back in my training days and one of the other trainees pantsed me. It's not a big deal."

"You are the only person I know that can make a story like that boring." Irina sighed.

"Never have I ever killed someone." You looked around the table.

They all drank. You paused. You knew Karasuma was with the Ministry of Defense but...

"Karasuma?"

"It's classified." He replied.

Irina rolled her eyes, "Well that's boring."

Korosensei was looking slightly less like a rotting pumpkin now that he was rehydrating, "Never have I ever had a birthday party."

Everyone around the table drank.

Damn…

Knowing what you knew about him that was…

Shit that was depressing.

"Oh, bullshit. How?"

"A bit difficult when one doesn't know their birthday, Irina."

You saw her glance to Karasuma. He gave a slight nod in return.

Maybe you could arrange a birthday party for him…

Something early, given his circumstances but…

You were pulled from your thoughts by Karasuma, "Never have I ever run from the police."

Whelp. You drank alongside Irina and Korosensei.

They turned to stare at you in surprise and you laughed, "It's not that dramatic guys. Set off some fireworks when I really shouldn't have. Cops got called and me and some friends had to go hide so we didn't get caught." You smirked, "They never did find us."

Korosensei chuckled and Irina didn't look impressed 

"Never have I ever kissed someone without them knowing it." Irina looked around the table.

The octopus and one very red-faced Karasuma both took a drink.

"Okay, no, hold on you gotta tell us!" Irina looked at them.

For the first time in awhile, you saw Korosensei's expression blank, his face white. Karasuma, on the other hand, looked like he might be in the middle of some kind of cardiac event.

"I don't think they're going to tell us." You looked to Irina.

"You guys are so fucking lame." She grumbled, sitting back and staring daggers into the uptight ministry agent.

You glanced at the octopus and he became very invested in reading the labels on his Pocari Sweat.

Who had it been? Who had it been for either of them for that matter?

You sat back, "Never have I ever been locked outside naked."

Korosensei sighed and took a drink. You chuckled. You'd tell him that Kyoto didn't exactly count as _locked_ out but it was too funny to see him dying of embarrassment. Irina also drank.

You raised an eyebrow at her.

"Target was a diplomat. His kid was suspicious of me as hell. I think he thought I was trying to get into the will or something. Brat tricked me into going outside naked and locked me out of the house." She smirked, "Jokes on him though, I still got my target." She made a little finger gun motion.

That…

Well, that was rather bone-chilling.

"Never have I ever played a party game where people had to take off their clothes." Korosensei's gaze lingered over each of you, curious.

Irina drank nonchalantly. Karasuma seemed to be trying to take a drink as covertly as he could.

"I'm a God at strip poker whether I win or lose." Irina gave a cocky smile.

Karasuma huffed, "Trainee days. Party."

"Jeez did they train all the fun out of you too?" Irina rolled her eyes.

He ignored her and took his turn, "Never have I ever slept with a stuffed animal."

The rest of you drank. That wasn't that weird. It was more unsettling to you that Karasuma _hadn't_ slept with one.

"Hell, I still have some I sleep with." You shrugged.

"I had a stuffed cat…" Irina said. She tried to sound casual but there was a note of embarrassment in her tone.

"A bear with a bow," Korosensei said quietly.

Oh.

Ohhhhh…

You suddenly became very invested in your can of beer.

He was talking about the one he'd 'borrowed' from you.

That was adorable...

Irina gestured with her can, "I've never been given a lap dance."

You took a drink and were surprised to see Karasuma do the same.

Irina and Korosensei were looking between the two of you with interest.

"It wasn't a professional one. Friend did it as a gag at one of my birthday parties. Trust me. Not sexy in the slightest." You chuckled.

There were ridiculous pictures but they didn't need to know that.

"Also a birthday party." Karasuma's tone was clipped and you precise as usual, "The other trainees thought they would order it as a surprise. It didn't go well." 

"What do you mean it didn't go well?" Irina's tone was filled with skeptical expectations. Given how most of Karasuma's stories had been going you couldn't blame her.

"They didn't warn me. I reacted as if she were a combatant. It wasn't a good night for anyone involved "

"I'm sorry are you saying you accosted an exotic dancer?" Korosensei stared at him.

"By mistake, yes."

"How the hell do you mistake a stripper for a military trainee?" Irina demanded 

"Alcohol, frayed nerves, and too much practice."

Y i k e s.

"I've never made an online account to stalk someone." You said, looking around at them.

Everyone drank.

"...why am I the only normal person on staff?"

Irina gave you a look, gesturing to each in turn, "I'm an assassin, the octopus is a perv, and he works for the Ministry of Defense. It's practically in our job descriptions."

You didn't bother to point out that perv is not a job.

"Never have I ever…" Korosensei chuckled, "thought about what type of dog I would be."

Karasuma took a drink.

The three of you looked at him expectantly.

He sighed, "German Shepard."

You chuckled. The dude really did like dogs…

"I've never worn shoes in someone's home," Karasuma said looking at the three of you.

You all drank.

"I'm not from here!" Irina protested, "Of course I have."

He gave the barest smirk, "So you drink."

"Never have I ever had sex on a washing machine." Irina looked around at your group.

No one drank.

Instead, the three of you were staring at her.

"Really?" You asked, "That seems like it'd be a you thing…"

She looked at you in disgust, "Have you seen a washing machine?"

You sat back, "Never have I ever made out with someone in a room with other people in the same room."

Karasuma and Irina both shot you dirty looks and drank. So… they did remember that part of the nomikai.

Korosensei also drank. 

All of you turned to look at him for a moment before Irina said, "I don't _want_ to know."

"I've never slept naked." Still looking a touch deflated, the drink and the game seemed to be bringing a bit of life back into the octopus who was sitting up with interest now.

Everyone around the table drank. Irina raised an eyebrow at you, "Really?"

"It gets so fucking hot here. I don't know how people wear clothes during the _day_."

Irina turned her attention to Kurasuma. He didn't provide any information.

She looked annoyed 

"I've never spied on someone in the shower." Karasuma offered.

Korosensei and Irina drank.

Irina shrugged, "Sometimes you kill a target in a bathroom so you can just wash evidence down the drain… and let's face it we all know the octopus is a perv."

He protested and was ignored as Irina took her turn.

"Never have I ever eaten natto."

You drank, as did your co-workers.

"Seriously? Isn’t that stuff disgusting?" She looked around at you.

You laughed, "I mean it's definitely not great…"

"I have some with breakfast every morning. It's healthy." Karasuma gave a nod.

That definitely sounded like him.

"Never have I ever…" you paused for a moment, thinking, "Danced on a bar or a table."

Irina shrugged and drank and Korosensei followed suit.

"What can I say? The people I normally hang out with like to party." Irina smirked.

Korosensei looked a touch sheepish but explained, "One of the games I attended earlier this year had a bit of a wild after-party."

How on Earth has no one caught on to what he was?

"That being said…" he held up a finger, "Never have I ever been skinny dipping."

"You literally can't!" Irina protested 

"Which means I haven't!" He shot back.

She drank, annoyed, "Being a 'naked and afraid' damsel in distress works pretty well as bait for luring in targets."

"Never have I ever missed a day of work," Karasuma said.

You and Irina both took a drink. She looked over at him, "God, you are so fucking lame."

He shrugged.

The night wound down and shortly you all prepared for bed.

You had a feeling this trip was only going to get stranger when you got to the island.


	66. (¦3ꇤ[▓▓] (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!  
> Have a bonus little NSFW chapter.

"Okay, okay" Irina smirked shaking her can at all of you, "One last round then we can sleep. Make 'em good and racy." She grinned, "Never have I ever had a sex dream about a coworker"

Ha. Uh…

You took a drink…

And so did your co-workers.

Ohhhh boy.

Irina looked at the three you expectantly. You all pointedly looked anywhere but at her. You noticed the octopus was also pointedly not looking at you.

You weren't sure why, he and Aguri hadn't worked toge-

You were a  _ dumbass _ .

Oh my  _ god, _ you were a dumbass.

_ They _ sure hadn't but  _ you _ sure had.

Your can became the most interesting thing in the world suddenly.

Irina sighed, "I'm going to have to play with you guys when you're actually shit faced to get fun answers, huh?"

You shrugged and quickly fired off your turn to move past that bit of awkwardness, "Never have I ever had sex with anyone in this room."

Dead silence for a few moments.

No one drank.

Okay then...

Guess that nightcap had really just been a nightcap after the nomikai.

"Never have I ever been tied up for sexual gratification," Korosensei smirked.

Irina drank, looking sour. You also, quickly, took a sip.

Which, of course, didn't go unnoticed.

Irina started laughing almost hysterically and looked at you, "Oh my God??"

"What? It's not that big a deal!" You protested.

She grinned evilly, "Well, well who knew we had such a kinkster on staff. Got any whips or ball gags you can suggest?"

"I'm not into whips." You made a face, "I just like being tied up sometimes!"

Korosensei and Karasuma were dead silent and you noticed both were rather red-faced.

Karasuma abruptly spoke, "Never have I ever had a full body massage."

Irina drank and shot a dirty look at Korosensei who simply grinned in response.

"Is that why you're so uptight?" Irina looked at Karasuma, "Because I mean I could always help you out with that if you wan-"

"I'm going to bed." Karasuma rose and moved to his bunk.

Irina looked so put out. You smirked.

Maybe she'd have better luck on the island.

"I'm probably going to turn in too…" you got up.

"Agreed." Korosensei gave a nod.

"You are all so boring." Irina huffed before finishing off her beer, "But whatever I guess I'll sleep too."

The three of you retreated to your bunks and the lights were shut off.

When you were certain that both Irina and Karasuma were snuggled in with their privacy curtains drawn, you looked across at Korosensei crammed into his room bunk.

It looked confining but he didn't seem to mind terribly. Neither of you had drawn your curtains. He smirked and pulled out his phone, typing. Moments later you had a notification.

[You know I'm quite good at massage if you're ever interested.]

You rolled on your back and covered your face in embarrassment. There was a soft chuckle from his side of the room.

Picking up your phone, you responded.

[Maybe.]

You saw his eyes widen and he quickly replied.

[ (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ ]

You stifled a laugh and shook your head. Another notification popped up.

[What's the matter, Reader? Does embarrassment have you a bit tongue-tied?]

[...are you making jokes about me liking bondage?]

[ (´ε｀ ) Perhaps.]

[So, that sex dream question.]

[Okay, first of all, -Karasuma- Drank.]

[I KNOW!]

[Second of all, you've had a dream about a coworker?~]

_ Shit _ .

Well, this was going to be a fun conversation...

[Yeah…]

[Interesting…~]

[Bold of you to assume it was about you.]

[ (‘◉⌓◉’) ]

[Also, YOU drank too]

[ (¦3ꇤ[▓▓] ]

[You can't -pretend to asleep with emojis-, I can -see- you typing from here.]

You looked at him pointedly. He went bright pink and abruptly pulled the curtain across his bed.

You stifled a laugh and shot him another message,

[W o w]

[So…]

[Yes?]

[Was it about me?]

You paused, the curtain was drawn so you couldn't tell what he might be feeling at the moment. Was this a question of concern or interest? Or was it just him teasing as usual?

[Maybe.]

[ ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ ]

Well, damn that uh…

That didn't really tell you how he felt one way or the other…

[I mean it was just once…]

It was very quiet.

Damn...you hoped you hadn't upset him.

You'd been trying to get a sense of if that was an option for him or not. He had… interest. At least in sensual things and visuals… but that didn't mean he could actually… do anything.

You chewed your lip for a moment and picked up your phone.

It was tempting to ask but…

It hadn't been long. Like it had been a  _ week _ . That would be too soon and too weird and too awkward. What if he wanted to talk about it? This place wasn't any real kind of private…

It wasn't a deal-breaker. You loved him. You just .. well you wanted an idea of what to expect was all. You didn't want to pressure him or worry him though.

Gentle…

You needed to be gentle with this topic…

Your mind went back to the other night with his hand trailing down your front and how you'd wished he'd gone lower.

Knowing what to expect would help in the long run…

Maybe you should ask…

But how? And when?

You sighed. Pulling your curtain closed you turned to face the wall. You shot off one last message. 

[♥️]

This trip sure was turning out interesting…

He was holding you close again in your living room, hands lingering as they trailed across your skin. Kisses were placed to your throat, down your chest, across your stomach…

Then suddenly there was warmth and heat and the soft tender pleasure of a mouth tending to you. You squirmed and gasped. It was so insistent. His tentacles held your legs, preventing your movements from letting you get too far away. 

How the hell was he doing  _ that _ with  _ that _ mouth? It didn't seem possible.

But  _ damn _ did it feel good...

A hand lightly came up and stroked at your neck. Not seizing or grabbing but a gentle motion along your skin that made you shake.

Tentacles trailed along your skin, teasing at a nipple here, tracing little patterns there, you could feel him in so many places at once.

But none more overwhelming than the warmth of his mouth.

A hand brushed your hair back, gently cupping at your cheek. You pressed a kiss against it. 

You shook as his tongue ran along your sex, tensing. A finger brushed at your entrance gently, teasingly.

Oh, he felt amazing...

"Reader… oh Reader…" he said softly, "Reader…"

Something was shaking you. You blinked, sunlight blinding you for a second. 

"Reader?" He was close, looking into your face with a touch of concern, one hand gentle on your shoulder, "It's time to get up."

Your mind snapped to, suddenly realizing with intense clarity that you had been having one hell of a dream. 

You were in a bunk on a ferry heading to an island with a bunch of kids for a school trip. This was  _ not _ the time for your brain to betray you this way. God, had you made noise? Fuck, you hoped you hadn't made noise. How the fuck would you explain if you-

The ten-car pileup of thoughts was interrupted by his voice.

"Are you alright?" He looked concerned...and a bit ill.

"Y-yeah… are  _ you _ alright?"

"Nothing a little landfall wouldn't help…"

You gave him an apologetic smile, "We'll be there soon…"

...yeah you sure would be.

And then you'd be sharing a room without your co-workers…

Ohh kay now was not the time for  _ that _ line of thinking either. It was time to get up.

"We should probably see about breakfast!" You said, slightly more frantic than intended.

Fuck this trip might kill  _ you _ before it killed him.


	67. He May Have Upset the Dolphins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

When you managed to drag yourself out of your bunk and get a shower, it was mid-morning. You found the kids in the vending area, sitting around with cup noodles, sandwiches, and other pre-packaged breakfasts. You made your way to the machines, taking a look at the selections.

“Uh...”

You looked up, several of the kids staring at you.

“...What?”

“Who are you and what have you done with Mx. Reader?” Kurahashi asked.

“Nah, it’s still gotta be them.” Karma smirked, “Their shirt is covered in octopi.”

You laughed, “Guys, they’re just new clothes.”

Nakamura had her eyes narrowed at you.

“You’re welcome.” Irina said, approaching one of the tables, “I’m the one that sorted _that_ mess out.”

She gestured to all of you.

Gee, thanks.

You sighed, “I basically picked it out and you chose the fabric!”

“And look how well it fits you,” she smirked.

“So, when are you wearing what I bought you?” you grinned.

Her face fell.

“Wait, hold on, what?” Yada looked at her, “You and Mx. Reader bought each other outfits for the trip?”

You distinctly heard Fuwa murmuring, “Maybe I’ve been shipping this the wrong way...”

“Yep, she had something tailored for me and I...” you came over, leaning on the back of her chair with a smirk, “Took her to a box store.”

Now it was her turn to get stared at.

You gave a smile and went back to the vending machines as the kids clamored to ask her where she’d been and what she’d gotten.

Oh thank god, they had onigiri yaki. You put in your cash and paused, noticing a post-it note on one of the optio-

_Motherfucker._

It was a post-it note with a doodle of an octopus juggling plastered on the takoyaki button.

You took it off and looked at the tiny K in the corner.

“Karma...”

“Oh, sorry, figured you’d be getting takoyaki this morning.” he chuckled.

You rolled your eyes. The chipper voice of the machine announced that your food was warming. You waited.

“What’s gotten into him?” you heard Nagisa behind you at one of the tables.

“Dunno… That’s… a new one.” it was Kimura.

You turned to look and spotted Korosensei standing in the doorway of the lounge. He was…

Oof.

That was _not_ a great color on him.

Pink but with a sickly green gradient over it. If it wasn’t on someone’s skin he’d look like a vaporwave color palette. The vending machine chimed and announced your meal was ready. You opened the door, taking out your box of onigiri and went over to him.

“Hey… you okay there? You’re not looking too hot...”

“I’ll be better when we make land.” he was… wait…

Was he staring at you? You glanced down at your shirt.

Oh… right… octopi.

When you looked back up his face had gained some green stripes which… were not complementing the palette in the slightest.

“It’s the new outfit Irina got me. Uh… you might need to do something about your face. The hair and nose aren’t going to work if you’re going technicolor.”

“It’s fine. We’re the only ones left on board.” he waved a hand.

“What?”

The octopus vanished suddenly and you were facing Karasuma holding a knife and looking annoyed, “The ferry makes stops along the island chain. We were the only group going to Okinawa.” 

“Ohhh...” you went and took a seat.

Korosensei leaned around the corner looking at Karasuma, “That was _rude_ . I’m sick and just _trying_ to have a conversation.”

He dodged again as Karasuma swung at him.

How the fuck he could move like that while seasick was beyond you.

“If anyone needs me I’ll be up on the deck!” he called, vanishing in a rush of wind.

You shook your head and opened up your breakfast.

“We’ll be arriving in a few hours.” Karasuma addressed the kids, pulling out coins for the vending machine himself, “So, make sure you’re all packed and ready to go by three.”

There was a chorus of ‘yes, sir’ from the kids. 

“Hey, uh, sir?” Nakamura looked back at him, “Where were you and Professor Bitch? We didn’t see you much yesterday...”

“I had some paperwork to do.” he said briskly, “Miss Jelavich was sleeping.”

You almost choked on your onigiri.

 _Paperwork. Sure, Karasuma._

_Lots of paperwork on the back of your eyelids I’m sure._

Nakamura did not look convinced.

Hinano didn’t either.

The two girls exchanged a glance and turned their attention to Irina.

Irina, meanwhile, was looking hard at you.

Fuck, had she already figured out about what you’d said to the kids-

“God, your fashion sense is _s_ o much worse than I thought,” she said.

“What? I’m literally wearing what you had MADE for me!” you protested.

She gave you a look, “Yeah, but the base design? You’re dressing like the octopus is for this trip.”

You paused and glanced down at your outfit.

“Come on, it’s not even remotely close,” you said.

She held up a hand, “Khaki shorts, overshirt, undershirt, the only thing you’re missing is that stupid bead necklace and that dumbass straw boater hat he’s wearing.”

You reminded yourself to keep the flat cap you brought in your bag. You had a feeling she’d only make a fuss about that too.

You were also grateful now that you’d turned down the neckerchief Cassius had suggested.

“It’s really _not_ that close.” you huffed.

Broad strokes, sure, but actual outfit? Not really. Your overshirt didn’t button up, it was a loose cardigan robe… thing. What had they called it? Fuck if you could remember. But it wasn’t the same thing.

“Face it, Reader.” Irina chuckled, “If you had it your way, you _would_ have been dressed like the octopus.”

…

Okay, you couldn’t really argue THAT part…

It was practically what you wore to work every day.

You sighed, taking a bite of your onigiri. The kids chuckled.

Well… at least it wasn’t takoyaki nonsense…

Not that the kids were ones to talk. At least three had shirts with odd English on them. Sugino’s made sense you guessed. R O C K. But it was aligned in two rows. RO CK. Which was odd. Muramatsu’s looked like a graffiti tag and just said SPICY which was pretty hilarious to you honestly. Then there was… Okajima. Lord what even was going on with Okajima’s shirt. A silhouette of a sexy lady was accompanied by a block of text in rows that made no sense to you.

STA 

NOA 

GTT 

SAT 

ALD

You spent a few minutes trying to sort out what it might say but eventually gave up and turned your attention back to finishing your breakfast.

A couple of hours later found you and the students clustered on the deck. Korosensei was sagging against the railing. You hoped he would perk up a bit once you made land because he was _seriously_ looking ill. You wondered for a moment why the government didn’t use this angle more for assassination but then remembered…

Korosensei could have taken off at any time.

He was enduring this _by choice_ to be around his students.

You weren’t sure if you’d call that noble or stupid at this point given how he was looking.

“A boat. Why do we have to be on a boat? Couldn’t we have taken a plane? Ugh. My head feels like a washing machine...” he was groaning weakly, his head deflated and resting on the rails.

You… really should ask him how that works. Then again… no bones that you could tell so no skull?

But if that was the case how the fuck was his brain intact with how fast he went? You thought about that for a minute. No skull would mean less of a likelihood for concussion due to the brain hitting against the skull but it also meant no protection. Then again… if nothing can kill you do you really need it?

This was starting to make _your_ head hurt.

“Korosensei! Look! You can see the island!” Hinano swung a knife at him and he simply deflated further over the railing with a groan to dodge it, “We’re almost there!”

Sugino grinned, leaning forward, “Six hours from Tokyo.”

“By plane maybe.” you heard Irina snark and you chuckled.

“Hope you’re ready because that’s where we’re going to kill you, Korosensei!”

The kids were cheering as you pulled in to port.

The island really was gorgeous…

You just hoped you were going to have good memories attached to it…

Your bags were handed off to resort staff and you found yourselves seated at a little outer pavilion looking out at the beach. There were a few people about, you noticed.

“Hey, Karasuma I thought the place was bought out...” you looked over at him.

“It is. These are the stragglers. They’ll be out before dinner tonight.” he said with a nod.

A member of the hotel staff moved among the kids with a tray of drinks, "Welcome to the Fukuma Resort Hotel! We hope your stay is a pleasant one. Tropical juice, compliments of the house. Enjoy!"

Nice.

Korosensei was in disguise for the moment, sitting with the children and chatting. He seemed to be doing much better now that he was off the boat.

Thank goodness.

"Man, this is the life!" You heard Mimura at one of the tables behind you.

"You ain’t jokin’, man. Everythings just so bright and vibrant!" Kimura replied.

He was right. The place was bright, hot, and beautiful. An ocean breeze was sweeping through from time to time which was just enough to take the edge off the heat.

The beach was slowly clearing out. You flagged down a server and asked for ice water. They obliged and you headed over to the kids, grabbing a seat.

Hara gave you a grin, "Hey Mx. Reader."

You gave a wave, "Everyone settled in okay?"

"Yeah," it was Kayano, "Just waiting a bit. Karasuma wants the civilians to leave before we start anything."

You gave a nod, "Probably a good idea."

Looking over to Korosensei you chuckled, "Where the hell did you get those sunglasses?"

He tipped them down, looking at you over the pink, heart-shaped frames, "Why? Ya jealous?"

You snorted, "Not at all."

He smirked.

"Gotta admit this place even warms my cold, dead, shriveled heart." Hazama chuckled, taking a drink of her juice, "Hard to resist a paradise like this…"

"Indeed! A hotel right on the beach, resort and spa amenities, and plenty of leisure activities available, too. It's outstanding!

"We’re savin’ the you-know-what till after dinner." Muramatsu gave him a grin, "Right now I vote we have some fun island style."

Yoshida looked over to Korosensei, "We should do the group thing like in Kyoto. That way we all get time with you."

"Nurufufufu~" the octopus reverted to his typical yellow, removing his wig, nose, and sunglasses, "A grand idea. I'm all for it. Play hard, kill hard!"

Yoshida popped up and headed over to Karasuma, talking to him. A few minutes he returned, Karasuma following.

“Okay, you should be all clear. Feel free to get started.” your stern coworker turned to you, “Reader.”

“Yeah?”

The kids were rising, dividing up into groups. 

“Medic duty.” he indicated one of the huddles with a jerk of his head, “You’re with them.”

“...They’re dividing up into groups. What about the rest of the kids?”

"You're not the octopus. You can't be everywhere at once. Let Irina and I worry about the kids on the ground."

He had a po-

Wait.

" _...On the ground??_ "

"Yeah, the first group is using gliders."

Great...

“Uh… Okay, when you said gliders I was already questioning things but what is THIS?” you gestured to the contraption in front of you.

“You haven’t seen these before?” Isogai was grinning, “They’re motorized hang gliders, I’ve always wanted to try one out. They don’t go as fast as Korosensei of course but they’re pretty amazing.”

You stared at the vehicle. It was a hang-glider attached to a buggy of sorts. Attached to the back was a propeller.

Someone.

Some human. Somewhere.

Sat down and thought, _“How can we make this thing that gets your airborne faster? I know, let's put open blades on the back!”_

You sighed, “So… we’re going up in these?"

"Sure are!" Isogai climbed in and looked to Maehara, "Ready?"

You watched as coppertop pulled out one of the bb guns.

"Whoa whoa hold on… you're taking guns?" You stared at them.

"Of course!" You nearly jumped out of your skin at Korosensei's voice behind you.

You turned to look at him.

"After all, they are still assassins." He chuckled.

"If that's the case, they need goggles at the bare minimum." You said, crossing your arms.

You saw a small note of panic in his features, "Of course!"

"And should they really be getting in these without helmets?"

"Uh-"

"Have they even been _trained?_ "

Korosensei took a step back looking alarmed, “I, uh-” 

Maehara laughed, “Relax, Mx. Reader. Karasuma took us to a training course.”

“But they are right about the helmets...” Isogai made a face.

There was a rush of air and Korosensei was handing out helmets to the kids. Suddenly he was next to you, offering a helmet awkwardly.

“I should have taken that into consideration… forgive me?”

You laughed, taking the helmet, “I’m not mad I was just concerned.”

He looked a bit relieved, “Well then!”

And suddenly you were sitting in one of these ridiculous things behind a grinning Hinano.

“Hi, Mx. Reader!” she laughed, “Ready?”

“Uh-” you stared at her and looked down… you were buckled in already. Of course you were.

“I know that you didn’t attend the training. So I took the liberty of making sure you were properly secured.” Korosensei’s voice came from above you…

You looked up.

Oh my god.

He was plastered to the underside of the hang glider, tentacles stretched along the frame.

“What-”

“If you would, Kurahashi.” he flipped a pair of goggles down into place, “Let’s get this party started.”

The engine started up behind you and before you could protest you were heading skyward. Kurahashi laughed, “Relax, Mx. Reader!”

You hadn’t realized you’d screamed.

Goddammit.

“Look! Isn’t it lovely?” Korosensei chuckled.

You watched, slightly ill, as the ground rapidly moved into the distance. You were moving out over the open ocean. The long crescent of pale beach gleamed against the bright blue of the waves. It was dotted with bright red umbrellas and just beyond it was the verdant backdrop of the island with your hotel standing shining in the afternoon sun.

It was gorgeous…

You were never going to get used to flying in vehicles.

The octopus was one thing. But vehicles were something else entirely.

You yelped as one of the other gliders passed close by yours, the students shooting at their teacher who simply cackled in return.

Great. So the plan was to _dogfight_ with _hang gliders_.

Suddenly you realized exactly why Karasuma didn’t clue you in on this training. He didn’t want an earful about safety _obviously_.

Between flying bbs and aerial acrobatics, this wasn’t safe in the slightest. The kids kept veering in closer to your glider.

It quickly became apparent, however, that having the octopus plastered to this thing was a _huge_ advantage. 

He called out to the other students, “Play hard, kill hard! That’s what the assassination classroom summer vacation should be like!”

“That’s not fair, Korosensei!” it was Kataoka. You saw Yada sitting behind her, shooting up at him.

“Your engine is faster than ours!” Yada called to him.

“Nurufufufu~ Remember boys and girls, a fighter jet is only as good as its engine!”

You looked up to see…

Oh, what the _fuck_.

How was he even cosplaying, you were mid-air. Where did he even get that outfit? He had glasses, a wig that ironically looked more passing than his usual one, and facial hair.

Another glider veered after you, you recognized it as the one carrying Isogai and Maehara.

“Who the hell are you supposed to be?!” Maehara called over.

“Jiro Horikoshi. You know, from Miyazaki’s The Wind Rises.”

You laughed, “Oh my fucking god!”

Isogai yelled back, “But you’re not even dressed as him! That’s the voice actor who played him!”

“And Horikoshi didn’t fly planes! He made them!” Maehara added, taking potshots as they swung past.

“So your cosplay doesn’t even make sense!” Isogai sounded annoyed.

This stupid fucking octopus.

You heard him chuckle above you and you looked up.

“You’re a fucking nerd!” you called up to him.

“You’re the one who suggested the movie!” he laughed.

Hinano looked back at you and grinned, “See? This is fun!”

You gave her a nod, “You’re right!”

The next hour or so was spent with your glider smoothly avoiding three gliders, the last one holding Okano and Kimura.

By the time you landed, you had sworn off all forms of air travel except for octopus. You unfastened yourself from the glider and got to your feet shakily, adrenaline still coursing through you.

Hinano laughed, watching you, “Relax, Mx. Reader. It’s over.”

“I know.” you took the helmet off, grumbling, “Body just hasn’t gotten the memo yet.”

The rest of the group was slowly congregating. The kids shaking their hands and rolling their arms. The whole ride was shaky so you weren’t shocked that they might have lost a bit of feeling from holding the controls.

“Well, that was quite invigorating!”

Green stripes. Of course.

The kids looked between one another with a sigh.

“Korosensei!” Hara waved to him, “We’re ready for you!”

He chuckled and looked around the first group, “Excellent try, boys and girls. I cannot wait to see what you have in store for me this evening!”

“Thank you, sir.” Isogai nodded.

“Now, onward!” he grinned over at you, “To the next group!”

So that’s the kind of day it was going to be.

Ohhh boy…

As you approached the group you noticed something and paused, “Uh… What’s going on with your face?”

“Hm?” he looked to you.

“You got a… It looks like a five o’clock shadow...”

He paused and a mirror appeared in his hands, he chuckled, “That would be a sunburn.”

Oh… okay. Sure.

Sure…

As you made it to the docks Kanzaki had the same question you did, “That’s a new pattern for you, Korosensei. What does that face mean?”

“It means only the front portion of the hang glider was shielding me, and I neglected to use enough sunscreen. Now then, did group four have dolphin watching on the itinerary?” He looked to Kayano.

“Yeah. It’s on a boat, though. That okay?” she grinned.

Oof, jeez kids. After twenty-six hours at sea?

He seemed unphased, “Sounds fin-tastic!”

And with that, he was go-

Not gone.

You sighed, looking out at the water where he floated in his ridiculous fish costume.

“Seriously?” Nagisa looked at him, “The Korosensei Koi Costume Wetsuit™? Again?”

“Nurufufufu~” was the only response, green stripes showing up on his face through the glass cover.

Kayano sighed, "I guess we should have expected that huh?"

Korosensei leapt about in the water, "Come along children! Let's see some sea life!"

"He is way too excited about this," Sugino muttered.

The rest of you boarded the boat.

Dolphin watching should have been more relaxing that rocketing around on a paraglider.

It _should_ have been.

Instead, it was anxiety-inducing for a whole different set of reasons.

"So, we get him in the chapel. Do we know if Karasuma got it prepped with the anti-sensei stuff?" Nagisa was looking over to Sugino and Karma.

"Said it should be ready after dinner," Sugino replied.

"Okay so chapel first. Then we show him the movie. Is it ready yet?" Nagisa asked.

"Last I heard from Mimura he's still working on it." Karma shrugged.

"Sure hope it's ready by tonight." Hara looked out over the waves at Korosensei who was inadvertently terrorizing some dolphins with his presence.

"If I know Mimura it will be." Nagisa nodded, "He's a fanatic about film."

"Besides, if worse comes to worse we could just make jokes about his new boo." Karma grinned at you evilly, "I'm sure that would fluster him just fine."

You rolled your eyes, leaning on the railing, "You're still on about that?"

"It is kinda weird that you're so close," Kayano said.

"Why?"

"Cause everyone in class is trying to kill him!" She replied.

"Yeah, and you still learn from him and have fun with him. Why is it any different for me?" You chuckled, "He's a fun person. Should I not be friends with him because you're trying to kill him?"

"Aren't you forgetting something, Doc?" Karma looked at you sidelong.

"What?"

"He blew up the moon. You seem awfully relaxed about that fact."

"That is a little weird…" Kanzaki said softly, "No offense, it's just that you're really protective. It seems like you'd _want_ to try to kill him."

You sighed, "I've got my reasons for not wanting to kill. Not just him but anyone. Yeah, the moon was bad. I get that. But I can only judge him by what I know of him. In my experience, he's been nothing but a good teacher and a good friend. I know it's weird for you guys." You straightened, "Your other teachers are trying to kill him. You're trying to kill him. Hell, the world is trying to kill him. But that's not part of our interaction. He's just my friend."

"...Given everything like...how are you okay with us killing him?" Nagisa asked.

You looked over at him, "I'm not."

You could see them all tense.

"I don't want to lose my friend but I know it has to be done. And I know that he wants you to try. What kind of teacher or friend would I be if I didn't support him in that?"

They mulled over this for a long moment. It was interrupted by a splash over the railing, as the topic of your discussion flipped by. He seemed panicked.

"I THINK I MAY HAVE UPSET THE DOLPHINS!"

As you watched him frantically avoiding a pod of shockingly aggressive dolphins you couldn't help but think that it was a miracle he was still alive.

Hara sighed, "How haven't we killed him again?"

"Maybe your next plan should involve dolphins." You joked.

"It does," Nagisa replied.

Of course, it does.

_Of course, it does._

Korosensei eventually came to his senses long enough to realize he could simply fly up to the ship and joined your group, panting and looking alarmed.

"Don't believe the advertisements. Those are not friendly dolphins!"

Hara laughed, "Well you did just kinda get in their territory. And I'd be pretty freaked out too if an octopus in a weird human costume showed up at my house."

He huffed.

"Good job, Teach, you freaked out two species in one day." Karma chuckled, nodding to the boat operator who was staring at the new dubious passenger with unease.

"I think the next group was planning on wakeboarding." Hara said, looking over at him, "That might mean you're on another boat."

"If you overdo it I might develop a resistance." He chuckled, "But by all means, I'd _love_ another boat trip."

And that was how you found yourself in a motorboat being piloted by the octopus, trying to keep your head down as kids shot bbs his way. Trailing along behind the boat was Nakamura, taking aim. The other children raced alongside on jet skis, their partners wakeboarding behind them.

By the end of this trip, you might have to just make goggles a mandatory part of your school gear…

"You'll have to do better than that, children!" He laughed.

You peeped up over the side and an enthusiastic Fuwa gave you a wave, "Hey Mx. Reader, having fun yet?!"

"I'll be having more fun when the boat stops!" You yelled back.

She laughed.

You felt something soft and warm on your arm. When you looked down you saw that a tendril had come to circle your wrist, resting in your hand. Your eyes followed it back to its owner. He glanced back with his usual grin and gave you a wink.

Goddammit…

That was adorab-

You ducked down as a bb bounced off the edge of the boat behind you.

You heard him laughing.

For the love of _fuck_.

You reminded yourself that the sea caves were next. A relatively tame and simple trip… hopefully…

The tendril squeezed reassuringly about your hand.

Hopefully…

By the time you reached the sea caves, you were flagging a bit. The adrenaline rush from everything coupled with your growing anxiety as the time passed was wearing on you.

So the idea of just walking around a cave sounded relaxing by comparison.

You’d made your way down the beach along a cliff face. Terasaka’s group was following along. 

Yoshida grinned over at you, “Hey, Doc, ever been to one of these before?”

You shook your head, “A cave yeah but not like one by the ocean.”

Korosensei was delighted, “Excellent! This will be a wonderful experience then!”

“It’s just a big hole in the rocks.” Terasaka snarked, “Nothing to get excited about.”

“Nonsense!” Korosensei exclaimed, “Caves have, historically, been very _interesting_ locations. Used for storage, housing, tombs, shelters, temples, sources of drinking water and precious minerals. In modern times they've even been used as hotels, schools, and even clubs and dancehalls! That’s not even going into the ecological and geological significance of them.”

“People can’t really live in these though, can they?” you asked, curious.

“Not generally. Many sea caves flood at high tide, after all.” he gestured.

Muramatsu looked over at him, “Uh… is that going to be an issue here?”

He chuckled, “Of course not. You know I wouldn’t put you children in danger! This cave, while a sea cave, doesn’t entirely fill. It has drier areas higher up.”

“Yeah?” you looked over at him, “Well, that’s a relief.”

The cave opening was roughly triangular and the ground covered in damp sand. Korosensei led the way inside, “So, as you may know, children these sea caves form as a result of waves hitting the cliffs over the years. They're also known as littoral caves. Yoshida, can you tell me what the process that forms these caves is called?”

Yoshida ducked into the entrance, “Erosion, yeah?”

Korosensei’s face flashed red with a circle, “Correct! Now, why wouldn't sea caves appear along every cliff face if that's the case?”

Terasaka sighed, “We gotta have lectures while on vacation?” he huffed, “Rock’s not weak enough, doesn't break.”

Korosensei chuckled, his face flashed with a red circle again, “Also correct! Certain areas of a cliff, due to the composition of the rock, may have areas of weakness. As the waves batter the cliff they have a higher chance of breaking off pieces and eroding a cavern. Waves pummeling the inside of these caves can even make holes that lead to the surface. These are called blowholes and they're commonly found in caves with higher water levels. When the waves roll in a jet of sea spray will exit these holes.”

Light from the cave entrance was spilling into the initial chamber. Green trails of algae decorated the rough rock walls. Ahead, the cavern continued at a slight incline.

“Now, most of these caves are akin to this one, a simple channel or chamber but there are others that are far more complex! These are usually found along faults in the rocks. The Catacombs Cave in California's Anapapa Island is an excellent example of this.”

“I think I prefer the history of people dying in them,” Hazama said darkly.

“ Nurufufufu~ And that is quite the history as well.” he turned to her, “Underwater caves, as most sea caves are, can be _quite_ treacherous even for experienced divers. And they aren't the only caverns on this island with a dark history.”

Hazama nodded, “Yeah, Okinawa is pretty haunted.”

You looked over at them, “Haunted?”

Hazama grinned over at you, “Oh yeah, World War II. The Battle of Okinawa. Americans attacked and the battle lasted 82 days. 160,000 people died here.”

Of course, she’d know that. The girl’s interest in the macabre was pretty intense.

“...Damn.” you shook your head.

“It was referred to as 'tetsu no ame'. Rain of steel.” Korosensei said, leading the way up the incline, “Because of the level of violence, the kamikaze attacks, and the size of the assault. It was a bloody battle and you are correct, the death toll was massive.”

“Jeez, you guys are giving me the creeps talking about stuff like that…” Muramatsu complained.

Hazama chuckled and leaned over his shoulder, “Maybe I should tell you about some of the hauntings around here.~”

Terasaka rolled his eyes, “I don't give a crap about ghosts.”

Yoshida chuckled, “Yeah, you sure?”

“Yeah,” Terasaka scoffed, “They’re dead, what are they gonna do?”

“Okay then, tough guy.” Hazama smirked, “Dare you to walk ahead then.”

“Yeah! Sure, whatever!” he said, storming off ahead.

The others followed after him, leaving you and the octopus near the back of the group.

The kids rounded the corner ahead and you reached out, catching his hand. He paused, looking back at you in surprise. You gently pulled him towards an alcove in the wall.

"Reader, wha-"

You looked up at him, "I don't know if I'll get another moment alone with you before…"

His expression softened and he nodded.

Reaching up, you pulled him down for a long and gentle kiss. He chuckled, "We really shouldn't do this here…"

You laughed a little, "I know but…"

He nodded again and leaned down, kissing you again.

"Shit, did we get lost?" The voice was Muramatsu's.

"'Ey, Octopus! You comin' or too chicken?" Terasaka bellowed.

You both gave a sigh. He squeezed your hand gently, "Cheer up, Reader. I can't die on you yet, remember? We're going somewhere."

You nodded but the reservation was still there.

You both ducked out of the alcove and he made his way further in, "Sorry about that! Got a bit turned around!"

As you made your way deeper into the cave all you could think was that you hoped he was right.

When you made it back to the resort you were ready to just sit for a while and thankfully, that seemed to be the plan. You collapsed into a deck chair and looked around at the kids. The class had clustered up in anticipation. You’d noticed, on the long walk back that Korosensei’s skin had been darkening further and further. He was now settled on a deck chair, his body completely blackened. It was uncanny for a reason you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“Whew! What fun, eh? Sun, surf, sand, and more sun.” he chuckled, “Check out my tan.”

“Uh… sir, isn’t it a bit much?” Nagisa asked.

“How do even your teeth have a tan?” Kimura looked unnerved.

THAT.

THAT’S WHAT WAS UNCANNY ABOUT IT.

_What the fuck?_

“So much for being able to gauge your expression.” Okano sighed.

“Have fun while you can, sir, ‘cause after dinner, it’s on!” Isogai chuckled.

The octopus hopped up with remarkable energy. How the hell was he not exhausted?

“Ah, yes! The shipboard restaurant!” he chuckled, waving his hands merrily, “I’m famished!”

He headed down the beach, humming to himself.

You sighed and got to your feet.

Muramatsu sighed, “Hasn’t the octopus had enough fun for the day? You’d think he’d be worn out by now.”

“Right?” you chuckled, “Then again...”

“ _I’m_ worn out. He got to have fun while we got to _pretend_ to have fun and get everythin’ ready. Can’t we just kill him already?” Terasaka huffed.

Yoshida chuckled, “Nah, be patient. We’ll knock him tonight then kick back and enjoy ourselves tomorrow.”

Oof… that uh… your anxiety shot up at that.

“Well, let’s give this some oomph and finish the job! There’s no way we don’t have this in the bag.” Muramatsu grinned.

You felt your arms go just a bit numb, panic rushing through you. You took a breath, this…

This was going to be an interesting night…

“What’s with you?” Irina leaned on your shoulder, “You’re white as a sheet.”

“Huh?!” you jumped in surprise, “Oh, uh… just haven’t eaten since the boat. Just need to get some food on boar-” you paused, “What are you wearing?”

She looked at you, confused, then looked down at her outfit. It was a long red evening gown, backless, with a slit up the front showing a substantial amount of thigh. 

“We’re having dinner,” she said it like you were an idiot.

As per usual.

You sighed and made your way after the group, her tagging alongside you. The sunset painted the scenery in pink and gold. Bright and beautiful.

You wished your nerves were less on edge so you could enjoy it.

The ship was gorgeous. Windows lined one side of the dining hall, showcasing the sunset on the open water. Tables covered with white tablecloths filled the room. The kids settled in their seats. You noticed Karasuma and Irina had taken up a table near the door. The whole thing looked purposefully casual but you’d been around the children long enough that you could see they were on edge.

You were too… though for different reasons.

You paused, unsure of where to sit at first but then thought ‘fuck it, why not sit with the octopus?’ It might be the last time you get to…

You could hear Karma chuckling as you passed him.

Ignoring him, you took a seat at the table Korosensei was at.

“Nice, right?” Isogai gave you a smile then looked to Korosensei, “We’ve reserved this floating restaurant for the evening. We can enjoy the ocean air and take in the night sea while we eat.”

Korosensei smirked, “Can we indeed? First, you intend to get me good and seasick to weaken my capabilities, eh? Throw off my focus?”

“Of course.” Isogai gave him a smile, “That’s Assassination 101.”

Korosensei sat back, swirling his glass of water contemplatively. By this point, his ‘tan’ had darkened him so much that you couldn’t even discern his eyes or mouth. His face might as well have been a bowling ball.

“Nurufufufu~ Well played, my boy. But is your gambit as infallible as all that?” Even with his new shadowed complexion, you could hear the green stripes in his voice, “My excitement for the upcoming assassination is certainly keeping the illness at bay and, seasick or not, a target expecting an attempt on his life isn’t likely to take it sitting down-”

Nakamura cut him off, saying exactly what you’d been thinking, “You look like a bowling ball!”

He faltered, looking at her, “It’s the suntan, isn’t it...”

“Forget your expression! We can’t even tell your front from your back!” Nakamura huffed.

Kataoka sighed, “Seriously, can you do something about it? It’s confusing.”

Korosensei chuckled and you watched him sit back, “Oh, of course! I can do _plenty._ Have you forgotten, students? I can molt!”

Wait, he wasn’t going to-

Before you could say anything he took off his hat, the blackened outer skin splitting at the top of his head to reveal bright yellow underneath. In a swift motion he was sitting back in his seat, catching the skin as it drifted down in a solid piece, “Talk about peeling.” he chuckled, “There. Back to normal. Happy now?”

Fuwa looked over at him skeptically, “Um, can’t you only do that once a month?”

“Or, strictly speaking, whenever the occasion warrants. Normally, it’s a trump card I only use in emergencies due to energy consumption but under the circumstances…” he froze, looking at the shed skin in his hands.

You sighed, facepalming as he screamed in realization at what he’d done.

What a fucking idiot.

What a complete moron.

The government must be really sore over not being able to assassinate this absolute walnut of a man.

“Seriously? Of all the time to put himself at a disadvantage, he picks now?” Sugaya said.

Karma chuckled, “What an idiot.”

“How have we not been able to kill a klutz like him yet?” Megu sighed.

Meanwhile, Korosensei had buried his face in his hands muttering to himself about his once a month shed.

You shook your head.

Well, this was starting off fantastic…

The kids took turns serving, bringing out various dishes. Rolls, consommé, oysters on the half shell, chawanmushi, pineapple and pork spreads, lobster, shōronpō, and an assortment of salads. It was one hell of a spread. You went easy though. You needed the energy but your anxiety was making your stomach flip and you didn’t want to end up getting sick during all of this. The octopus, meanwhile, tucked right in.

“Isn’t that just going to make you seasick?” you asked him.

He chuckled, “Well if it is my last meal shouldn’t I indulge?”

You sighed and he paused. Under the table, you felt something come to rest on your knee. Trying to remain casual, you slid your hand under the tablecloth. A tendril wrapped around your wrist, resting on your pulse point. You grasped it gently and took a breath, steadying yourself.

“Besides, the meal is splendid, don’t you agree?!”

You laughed, “It _is_ pretty damn good.”

Everything was delicious but you were most delighted with the coffee. After today’s adventures, you _needed_ something to perk you back up.

“Hey, anyone got some candles? I think we need ‘em for the teachers’ tables.” Nakamura called over.

Karma laughed, “I’m sure we could find a radio, get some romantic music playing...”

You rolled your eyes and saw Karasuma huff as well, getting up. Irina looked annoyed at him as he stepped outside. Korosensei, instead of making a comment on the inappropriateness of Karma’s jabs, merely pointed with a tentacle where Karasuma had left.

There were some muffled scandalized sounds among the girls.

Lord. This place might as well be a gossip column.

Halfway through dinner while you were working on your second cup of coffee you were approached by Mimura. He leaned down quietly asking, “Hey, Mx. Reader did you have anything else that we could use for the video? I've got a gap to fill...”

“Uh… I might?”

He waved for you to follow him. At a table near the back he and Okajima had their meals spread out with Mimura’s laptop propped up and video editing software open.

“Oh my god?” you pulled up a chair, “You’ve been doing this all day?”

He gave a tired nod, “Minus the wakeboarding. I got a section here where I could use some video, pictures, whatever you got...”

You nodded, “Uhhh hang on I think I have some I can get for you.”

You flipped through the videos you had from the night of the nomikai and finally stumbled on one of him idly licking at his drink and singing along half-heartedly with something you’d had on in the background. You chuckled and attached it to an email, shooting it to Mimura, “There you go, I don’t think you have this one?”

He downloaded the clip and grinned, “Perfect.” he paused, “Hey, you wanna see? I’m doing the final pass here in a minute.”

Did you want to watch a video of your boyfriend being an absolute idiot?

Oh absolutely.

Using a headphone splitter, he offered a second pair of headphones to you from his bag. 

What you watched was more hilarious than you could have imagined.

It opened, predictably, with Okajima's trap and his love of office ladies. From there it delved into him trying to sneak into women's only cake events. And then deep-frying complimentary tissues between paychecks…

Which he claimed were ‘sweet with a pleasant spongy texture’.

You made a note to talk to him about that. You didn't want him going hungry. You were more than willing to feed him if he needed food…

From there they jumped into his interesting eating habits with video of him chewing on rocks out on the back of the mountain. You stifled a laugh.

“How the hell did you guys even get this stuff?” you looked over at them.

Okajima grinned, “I’m a bit of an expert at getting footage without people knowing.”

“... That’s horrifying.” you looked at him pointedly.

“I mean… it’s helping with the assassination?” he gave a weak shrug and a smile.

Your attention was pulled back to the video 

What followed next was a series of slow-mo shots of him eating various things in ways that were not flattering in the slightest or _oddly_ sexual. You snorted.

“Oh my god?”

Mimura chuckled, “Fun fact, we didn’t know he did that until Okajima slowed down one of the vids.”

You shook your head. You'd never noticed him making ahegao faces over food but Mach 20 certainly let him hide plenty…

Then it was back to cross-dressing and his various disguises of all kinds. Surprisingly, you had a question answered that you’d had for a while.

_“Where does he get these outfits? We have evidence that he makes them.”_

There was a slow-mo shot of the octopus knitting.

 _“Which means all of these terrible fashion choices were_ **_entirely his designs_ ** _.”_

Oh god…

Some of these outfits were top tier ridiculous. Cosplays, uniforms, absolutely ridiculous t-shirts...

And he thought Aguri’s stuff was tacky? At least she wasn’t one wearing a shirt that said F**K STAR on it.

_“We all know that Nagisa has been gathering a list of weaknesses on our target. Let’s take a look at a few highlight examples!”_

The weakness in question would show on-screen accompanied by video examples. You were in tears from laughing so hard. 

What showed up after that segment made you stop laughing. It was a photo, shot through the window of the nurses’ office, of Korosensei pinning you to the wall. His face was black and-

Oh god… that was the day with Takaoka.

Mimura’s voiceover commented, _“When he’s not ogling his magazines or cross-dressing, he’s sexually harassing his fellow teachers.”_

Another shot was of him drooling over Irina’s cleavage.

And then a video you recognized as being the day he’d walked in on you, him screaming in the hallway in a panic as Irina accused him of peeping.

And then the piece de resistance.

The photo of him passing Karasuma a playing card with his mouth at the nomikai.

You laughed and rubbed your face, “Ohhhh my god.”

Mimura was grinning, “Right?”

A section came up on screen displaying _"The Curious Love Life of this Creature"._

Ohhhh boy…

 _"He has none."_ Mimira's voiceover said flatly, _"Maybe that's why he wants to blow up the planet."_

You clapped a hand over your mouth to stifle your laugh.

_"Of course there are rumors…"_

Oh god…

What followed next were various pictures of you and him together…

Some of which were from your Tomita farm trip…

Goddammit. You should have figured they’d gotten copies...

_"That he and a certain Health Education teacher are having an illicit affair."_

You tried to keep yourself from freaking out, rolling your eyes but from Okajima and Mimira's expressions, you had a feeling you were less than convincing.

_"However he has been known to live vicariously through his students."_

There was footage of him spying on Chiba and Hayami while they were out together. Following Maehara and one of his many girlfriends. And him working on a shipping chart at his desk.

You snorted, “Good god…”

_“The target’s actions are especially revealing when he’s not under the watchful eye of his students or fellow teachers...”_

You thought you had recovered from laughing.

You hadn’t. Not in the slightest.

What came next was a series of what you assumed were hidden camera videos of the faculty lounge and such. 

Korosensei watching makeup tutorials to try new looks. Complete with at least one where he apparently hit his eye with the mascara brush and launched into some very colorful language for him.

Him dancin-

Oh god. His dancing.

You were crying actual tears. It was so fucking ridiculous.

Him talking to himself, singing, holding entire conversa-

Oh my god, he was holding a conversation with himself and playing as himself _and_ Karasuma.

And Karasuma was telling him how cool and attractive he was-

Oh god was that him impersonating Irina?

AND YOU?

You could not breathe.

_“And now for a dramatic reading of one of this confirmed pervert’s fan letters to Haruko Tade...”_

“I can’t-” you were gasping, “Mimura, pause, you gotta pause I’m dying.”

He laughed, pausing the video. Okajima smirked at him, “I think it’s going to work pretty well...”

“I mean if Reader’s reaction is anything to go by…” Mimura chuckled.

Okajima sat back and you noticed…

The camera…

What?

“Thanks for the last segment.” Okajima grinned, “It’s gonna kill him for sure.”

“What?” you look between the two of them.

“We got the idea the other day when Nagisa was talking to him. He said you were the teacher he respected the most on staff.” Mimura smirked, “So what better way to humiliate him than have your reactions included.”

“Since you won’t be at the assassination.” Okajima shrugged.

Oh god.

_Oh shit._

“You kids are fucking brutal,” you said in shock.

“Thanks!” Mimura grinned, “If you don’t want to watch the rest you can head back. We got what we need.”

You nodded, a little dazed, and made your way back to the table.

Korosensei was looking predictably ill. He looked up at you as you sat down.

“Reader? Are you alright?”

You gave a slow nod, “Hey uh… just so you know, I definitely didn’t do anything involved with this assassination on purpose… Well, okay I did some of it but-”

“What do you mean?” he looked concerned now.

“Uh, they needed something from me and I gave it to them but they also might have just gotten something else from me that I didn’t plan on and-”

You felt a tendril on your knee and you quickly grasped it.

“Reader… it’s fine. Giving the children information is part of your job...”

The tendril circled your wrist, resting against your pulse.

“But...”

He looked at you, reassuring, “We’re going somewhere which means I’m not going anywhere just yet.” he faltered for a moment, “That uh… didn’t have anything to do with...”

He was turning a touch pink and you laughed, shaking your head, “No, it’s not about uh...” jeez what the fuck could you say that the kids might not pick up on, “the bamboo cookies...”

There was a pause and he chuckled, “An apt description. Good.”

You felt the tendril give you a small squeeze and you settled a bit.

It was going to be okay.

It had to be okay…


	68. Dangerous, Dangerous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

As you left the ship you found yourself accompanied by Karasuma and Irina, flanking you. They headed towards the beach and you followed. Looking back you saw the children leading Korosensei into the dome-shaped floating chapel at the end of the dock. Your anxiety skyrocketed. 

You stood, waiting with Irina and Karasuma, your nerves on edge.

A few minutes in and you heard a scream of, “I GAVE YOU POPSICLES!”

In spite of your anxiety, you laughed.

Irina looked sidelong at you, judgemental.

It was rather quiet. You supposed they were showing him the video…

Your nerves were raw. You wanted to run over there. Do something. Say something.

But you couldn't.

You heard more sounds of alarm from him inside the chapel and suddenly engines roared to life, four boats took off from the chapel ropes attached to them. You cried out in shock as the chapel literally split into pieces, dragging behind the boats. Then, out of the water, rose a group of your students shot up into the air. Wh-

What was-

They were on flyboards, water spraying in long jets below them to form a cage of water.

How…

How on Earth…

There was yelling over the sounds of the water but you couldn’t make it out.

The sounds of bb fire under the sound of the water. And then something mechanical, loud-

You could just make out a boxy shape, guns protruding from-

“Is that Ritsu?” you looked at Karasuma.

Karasuma gave a nod, “Her creators installed a temporary unit here for the sole purpose of this assassination attempt.”

Around the platform leapt dolphins being guided by an enthusiastic Hinano. Some of the students were angling hoses in arcs around the outside.

Korosensei stood in the middle of gunfire. The children had created a cage of water around him. 

What had been a chapel was now a torrent of sea spray and bb fire.

And then a flash of light radiating outwards from it…

When your eyes started to clear you watched in awe as waves of color cascaded past you. The air around you shimmered with hues that coalesced on to the chapel.

And then everything exploded.

Arcs of electricity shot from the chapel. You stared in horror, stomach dropping and arms going numb in sheer panic.

The soundwave shook you like a physical wall of force. A wave of water spread outwards from the target location, reaching the beach and wetting your legs up to the knees before it receded.

You rubbed at your eyes. In the wake of the explosion the chapel was nowhere to be seen. Your students, however, floated in the water. They seemed to be dazed but swimming.

Karasuma bolted down the dock, yelling to the children, “Don’t let your guard down! He can regenerate! Isogai, Kataoka: change of plans. Watch the water!”

“Yes, sir!” the two took off for the spot the chapel had been.

You were right behind him.

What...

What was...

Oh god, please...

You looked out into the water. Things were tense as everyone scanned the waves. 

You could hear Nagisa, "We had him, there’s nowhere he could have gone."

"Look! Over there!" Kayano was leaning out of her boat pointed to a spot in the water where a stream of bubbles was breaking the surface.

"What is that?"

"I don't know…"

And then with rising bubbles...

An orb surfaced.

What...

A gleaming glassy orb with a very familiar grin inside it.

Relief flooded through you when he spoke, "Nurufufufu~ Allow me to introduce my trump card of trump cards: My absolute defense form!"

You could have cried.

He was  _ alive _ .

The children were staring at the baseball-sized ball that housed their teacher. 

"Absolute defense form?" Nagisa stared at him.

Korosensei chuckled, "This translucent sphere is comprised if nano-matrices formed by surplus energy. In essence, my body shrinks down to the size you see now and the compressed molecules create a high-density protective shell around me. Water, anti-me bbs, it repels them and everything else. In this form, I'm absolutely invincible!”

Yada stared at him, alarm in her voice, "So you’re saying as long as you’re like this, we can never kill you..."

Korosensei's voice was smug, "Oh, if  _ only _ that were the case. Unfortunately for me, it’s not that simple. So, don't fret, my dears, this form doesn't last long. The crystals comprising this shell tend to lose integrity in about a day or so. Once the bonds break down, my body will expand again and reabsorb the energy, returning me to my usual attractive self. This form is extraordinarily useful, but until the crystal decays the trade-off is  _ complete immobility _ . In other words, I can’t do a thing for 24 hours until this crystal disintegrates. This brings with it certain risks. For example, said immobility would provide anyone so inclined the perfect opportunity for launching me into space. Something I rather dread. I’ve done ample research into that, however. Happily, nowhere on this planet is a rocket capable of making that flight in 24 hours."

Green stripes decorated the yellow orb that compromised his body.

You had never been happier to see him so cocky.

You'd never been happier for his trip to Everest either...

Terasaka growled, grabbing a wrench from Karma's boat, "Invincible my ass. Somethin’ like this has gotta be breakable somehow!"

He grabbed the orb and started whacking away at it.

Korosensei was whistling merrily. He chuckled, "You’re wasting your time. A nuclear blast wouldn’t leave so much as a scratch."

Your legs threatened to give out. You sank to a sitting position on the dock out of relief.

Karma walked up beside you and reached over Terasaka's shoulder, retrieving his teacher, "Oh, I get it. I guess there’s nothing more we can do now that you’re invincible, huh?" He drawled, pulling out his phone with his free hand. You looked up and caught a glimpse at the screen.

It was the porn trap with Korosensei utterly engrossed in it.

Korosensei shrieked, "No! Stop! You monster! I can’t bury my face in my hands in this form! This isn’t FAIR!"

Karma chuckled, propping the phone up with a rock, “Lemme just prop this here...”

“KARMA!” he shrieked, “HELP! SOMEONE! HE’S NOT LISTENING TO ME!”

God…

It was so good to hear him freaking out like usual...

Karma chuckled, "Oh sorry ‘bout that. Let’s see if there’s a way to help you out there." He placed a sea slug on the surface of the ball and Korosensei just shrieked louder, "This sea slug do anything to block the view?" He looked to the group, "Anybody know where I can find a filthy old guy? Need to shove this in his underwear!” he waved Korosensei at his classmates, “Figure if Korosensei wants to be a ball might as well put him where he belongs!"

Korosensei was crying out in alarm, "No! Help! Someone help me, please!"

You shook your head and overheard Kayano speaking, "I guess we can do whatever we want with him. I’d never take that form with a bunch of kids."

"Yeah. Not exactly his smartest move. Especially around Karma. He’s kind of a creative genius for stuff like this..." Nagisa replied.

Karma grinned suddenly and looked at you, “Hey, Mx. Reader. It’s your favorite. Octopus Balls.”

You put your face in your hands with a sigh.

Of course.

You were a bit surprised the other students weren’t jumping in on that.

Karasuma took Korosensei from Karma, shaking the sea slug briskly into the water before popping him into a transparent shopping bag, "Alright, that's enough. Let’s call it a day for now. The top brass and I will discuss how to deal with this one."

Korosensei chuckled, "Nurufufufu~ Going to throw me in a pool full of anti-me material? Good luck with that. You can inform your superiors that it won’t work. If you do, I’ll just explode a portion of my energy and blast away everything around me, as I did just a moment ago. Everything in the vicinity will be blown sky-high."

Karasuma growled, irritated.

Korosensei's voice took that tone you always loved as he addressed the kids, "Still, you should take pride in your work, boys and girls.  _ Entire armies the world over _ couldn’t get as close to killing me as  _ you’ve _ done tonight. This was,  _ by far _ , the  _ cleverest _ assassination attempt I’ve ever encountered."

The kids didn't look satisfied with the praise and it hit you how frustrating this must be for them. Months of planning. All of this work.

And they'd failed.

That’s why there was a lack of jokes.

You felt mixed emotions. Relief, concern, disappointment on behalf of the children…

And an undercurrent of guilt for your selfish reasons for wanting him to stay alive when he was so dangerous…

You rose to your feet and moved to help some of the kids up onto the dock.

"You guys did amazing." You told Nagisa as you hauled him up.

He sighed, "Whatever… I just need sleep."

Your group made their way back to the pavilion. The kids took a moment to head to the changing rooms, switching back to their clothes.

Everyone took seats.

You'd never seen these kids so wiped.

Maybe some rest would help…

You hoped so…

Guilt gnawed at you as if you were personally responsible for the plan failing.

But you weren't. You knew that.

It was hard to root for both sides like this…

You took a seat at the table Karasuma had set the bag down on. Korosensei looked to you and went neon pink, "About the video, I can explain!"

You snorted, "You think that's what I care about right now?"

He went back to yellow, looking a touch relieved.

You looked at him, "That was one hell of a show."

"It was, wasn't it?" He chuckled, "A narrow escape on my part too."

You sighed and picked him up idly. You smirked, "You know…"

You tossed him experimentally and he yelped.

"You're perfect for my hand-eye coordination practice."

He huffed at you and you put him down, looking back at the kids.

They looked wiped…

Maybe the day had taken too much out of them? Heat exhaustion?

“That’s your Detective Face...” he said softly, “What is it?”

“I'm a bit worried they got too much sun today...”

You made your way over to Maehara and Mimura.

"Hey, guys... can I get a quick look at you?"

"Huh?" Mimura looked up, "Why?"

"I think you might be a little bit more than tired." you reached out and touched Mimura's head lightly, "Mn... hold on."

You went to your bag, pulled out a first aid kit and came back over. You capped the thermometer with a sleeve and offered it to Mimura.

He accepted it and sat there, looking awkward.

Looking to Maehara you gently touched his forehead, "Are you  _ just _ tired?"

"Uh... Well..." Maehara made a face, "Head kinda hurts, feeling kinda just... like crap?"

“Ritsu?” Chiba's voice reached your ears.

“Yes?”

“You recorded that… right?” the boy sounded beyond disappointed.

“As faithfully as possible, with my primary unit’s high-speed camera..”

“I knew the second I fired that I’d missed. It was like… I knew he couldn’t be killed.”

Ritsu gave him the rundown, “I can only be approximate. The exact time it took him to move into that form is unclear. However, by my calculations, if your shot had been point give seconds faster, or Hayami’s thirty centimeters to the left, you would have had a 50 percent chance of killing him before he noticed the bbs approaching.” 

Hearing that made your arms go numb. You glanced over at Korosensei.

“I was so confident. I mean, in rehearsal, I even fired from a less stable spot and totally nailed it. But when the time came, my fingers stiffened and my vision narrowed.” Chiba was looking at his hands.

Hayami spoke up softly, “Same here.”

“The pressure of absolutely not being allowed to miss. That crucial now-or-never moment…Too much was riding on me making the shot. ” Chiba was still looking at his hands, unnerved.

“To think it’d be this different from practice.” Hayami’s voice was quiet and tired.

The thermometer beeped and you took it from Mimura. 

Yikes…

40°C

“Yeah… that’s a fever.” you frowned, “I think we’re looking at heat exhaustion. You guys overworked yourselves pretty hard today...”

“I feel like I could sleep for a month. I’m just so exhausted...” Maehara sighed.

Mimura’s head was down on the table, “I vote we head back up to our rooms and crash. I don’t feel like doing anything.”

“We need to get some fluids in you.” you said, standing.

“You’re just gonna call it a night? We did what we were supposed to, what do you want? We did what we were supposed to do, so tomorrow we can just enjoy ourselves! Granted the octopus is still kickin’, but we’re owed a primo vacation either way!” Terasaka looked over at them, annoyed.

“Ooh, yeah! Tomorrow I get to take in some swimsuited beauties for sure! No matter how tired I may be, I’m never too tired for tits!” Okajima grinned.

“Man, I just don’t have the energy… it’s all I can do to keep my head up...” Maehara sighed.

You frowned, this might be worse than you thought-

There was a thud followed by Nagisa crying out, “Nakamura!”

Nakamura was laying on the floor and Nagisa was kneeling beside her. He touched her forehead, “You’re burning up!”

“Ohhh boy, okay, Takebayashi? You okay to get ice and water?” you looked over to him.

He was out of his seat and into the hotel in seconds.

“Just imagining those babes gave me a nosebleed!” You heard Okajima followed by him sputtering. When you looked, he was holding his face, blood bubbling through his fingers, “Uh...”

You pulled out a pad of gauze, going over to him, “Here, here," you pressed it into his hands, "Pinch here,” you demonstrated on your own nose, “hold it tight. Lean forward, and breathe through your mouth..."

Nosebleeds were not a sign of heat exhaustion… then again he was the only one with the symptom...

Okajima was struggling to stay upright.

“Sugaya, help him?”

Sugaya nodded, coming over to steady the boy.

You straightened looking around, “Okay, heads up, who isn’t feeling well?”

Some kids were able to raise their hands. Others had their friends indicating what was wrong.

You did a headcount. Ten kids…

Okajima, Nakamura, Maehara, Mimura, Kurahashi, Hara, Muramatsu, Hazama, Kanzaki, and Sugino…

You did a run-through of the day in your head. None of these kids were in the same group so if it was exposure it wasn’t from the activities…

Karasuma ran out of the hotel following Takebayashi.

“What’s happening?” Karasuma looked to you.

“I thought it was heat exhaustion but I’m not sure now. Fever, weakness, fatigue-” you looked to Takebayashi, “Get the sick kids organized, okay?”

He nodded.

Karasuma turned to one of the waitresses outside, “Where’s the hospital on this island? This is an emergency! We need an ambulance!”

“The nearest ER is on the main island… there’s a clinic but the doctor goes home to another island at night. The next boat doesn’t arrive until 10 AM.” the girl sounded helpless.

Okay, no ER, no ambulance, most likely no open clinic. Ten sick kids. 

You looked to the girl, “Towels, blankets, we need to get these kids laid out.”

She nodded and ran inside.

Karasuma’s phone rang and he answered it, the speakerphone on.

“Hey, Teacher Man. I’d say your students are in a bad way right about now.”

The voice was rough, distorted.

This wasn’t good.

“Who is this?!” Karasuma snapped.

You heard Kayano behind you softly speaking, “Ritsu, can you record this?”

“Of course.”

“Take it easy, friend. Who I am doesn’t matter. Those brats aren’t the only ones going after the mark.”

“Are you responsible for making them sick?” Karasuma’s voice held an edge you’d rarely heard before.

“How observant… guess I should expect as much from a teacher. But they’re a hell of a lot more than sick. Their bodies are hosting a man-made virus. It doesn’t spread easily but once you’re infected, it’s all over. The incubation period and initial symptoms vary, but after a week, the body’s cells rupture and vital organs become jelly. There’s only one remedy, also an original concoction; unfortunately for you, _ I’m _ the only one who has it. Trouble is, I’m lazy. If you want it, you’re gonna have to come and get it yourselves.”

Kayano passed her phone to Nagisa who held it up to Karasuma. He waved them over, studying it.

“There’s a hotel on top of this island’s highest peak. Bring me your precious cargo and we’ll chat. Come up to the top floor in the next hour. No tricks. But, Teach, you seem pretty tough. Dangerous, even. I’d rather not tangle with you. So send proxies. Two students. The shortest boy and shortest girl. Out of whoever’s still standing, of course. There’s a concierge desk across from the elevators, have them go there. I’ve already made arrangements. Follow the rules and we’ll swap the target for the remedy and that’ll be that. Now, this should go without saying, but contact outside help or show up late, and boom. The antidote goes bye-bye. The infected die.”

Oh, what the fuck?

You bit your tongue to keep from saying something. You didn’t want to make this any worse…

It looked like Karasuma was having the same struggle.

“Hey, you guys were fantastic. We planned this without knowing the octopus would be unable to move. With the target immobilized, the hard part’s done. I can’t thank you enough. Looks like the gods are on our side. So, bring that monster to us in an hour. Top floor. Fukuma Denjo Hotel.”

The call ended.

“DAMMIT!” Karasuma slammed Korosensei down on the table, grinding him against it.

It did nothing, of course.

“Uh… Karasuma… not to complain but aren’t you being a little rough…?” he said weakly.

“Of all the times for some psychotic bastard to sabotage us! Unbelievable!” Karasuma was livid.

“What are we going to-”

“Mx?” the waitress had returned, an armload of blankets in hand.

“Yes, thank you! Takebayashi?” you took them from her.

Okuda approached you, “He’s helping Okajima, the nosebleed started again.”

“Okay, we need to get everyone comfortable...” you gestured with the blankets in your arms, “Think you can lay out some pallets for the sick kids?”

“Pallet?” Okuda looked at you a little baffled.

“Uh...” you were a little scattered with everything happening, “Makeshift futons.”

“Oh! Right!” she took the blankets and hurried off.

While Okuda worked on that, you turned to Karasuma, “What’s the plan?”

“I’m working on it.” he snapped, “Keep an eye on the students.”

He vanished into the hotel. You moved towards the sick when you heard Korosensei’s voice.

“Reader, if you would...” you looked back to him on the table in his little plastic bag, “Take me with you?”

You gave a nod and looped the bag over your arm, going to help Okuda with the blankets.

“Okay, Okuda I have an important job for you.”

She looked at you as you folded over a towel into a pillow.

“You’re going to take vitals for me. You remember how to use the blood pressure cuff and such yeah?”

She nodded, “Yes, Mx.”

“Okay.” you dug in your bag and pulled out wipes and gloves, “The guy seemed to indicate they’re not contagious but we should play it safe.”

She nodded, “Of course.”

Once she was properly sorted, you moved to Takebayashi getting him prepared with gloves as well.

Then conferring with the waitress and getting face masks for the sick children.

And more ice and more water and…

The work blurred together. The symptoms varied. Some were nauseated, others had nosebleeds, everyone was sweating, red, and weak… most were disoriented and dizzy.

Korosensei silently observed for the most part. Then, when there was a lull spoke up, “Reader, could you hold up your phone for me?”

You looked at him in surprise. You’d almost forgotten he was over your arm. You fished your phone out and held it up to him.

“Ritsu.”

“Yes, Korosensei?” she popped onto your screen immediately.

“I need you to get all proprietary information you can on the Fukuma Denjo Hotel. Any means necessary.”

She nodded, “Hack. I understand.”

“Good. Thank you.”

With that, she vanished.

“What are you up to?” you looked at him.

“Planning ahead,” he answered grimly.

Karasuma returned with three people in tow. You’d seen glimpses of them around, assuming they were other agents. Two men and one woman. All of them were dressed casually but they wore their vacation wear with all the presence of a business suit.

You took a look over the sick. Takebayashi was handing out gloves to a few others who were helping. Okuda was putting a cold rag on Kanzaki’s forehead…

You headed over to Karasuma who had just noticed Korosensei missing from the table. You held up your arm to showcase that he was safe.

“He wanted to keep an eye on the kids while I was treating them.”

He looked relieved and nodded, “Alright, Sonokawa, I need you on the phone with that hotel now. Call in favors if you need to. We need to know who made that call.”

Sonokawa, a terse brunette who looked like what might happen if Okano followed in Karasuma’s footsteps, nodded and pulled out her phone.

“Ukai,” he held out a hand to you for a moment and you passed Korosensei over to him a touch reluctantly, “I need you to get measurements on this. We need to draw up a backup plan.”

Ukai nodded, accepting the bag and disappearing inside.

“Tsuruta.” 

Now that was a familiar name…

The fellow that stepped forward had slicked-back hair and glasses.

This was the guy who had been watching Korosensei on Everest? You kinda felt bad for the guy. Everest for a week, now the tropics. He must be having all kinds of whiplash.

“Yes, sir?”

“I need you to look into any local supplies of concrete and get on the horn with HQ. See how difficult it would be to get the anti-octopus solution here quickly...” Karasuma looked exhausted.

Tsuruta nodded and headed inside as well.

You looked to Karasuma and he sighed, “Any changes?”

You shook your head, “No. But that’s not a bad thing. They’re not getting worse.” you paused, “He said it would take a week to be terminal. That’s not to say we should wait, but it’s good to know we have time even if it’s a small window.”

He nodded, looking put off by the idea. 

“We’re doing what we can.” you said quietly, “They put us in a bad spot...”

“Goddammit, I should have known...” he shook his head, “Things were going too damn smoothly.”

Irina approached, “Beating yourself up isn’t going to do jack shit for these kids.”

You looked at her in surprise. It was blunt, harsh.

And true.

He held up a hand, “I know.”

He looked up and for a moment you saw just how tired he looked. They shared a look for a long moment before Irina glanced your way and Karasuma cleared his throat, looking away.

Well… 

Huh…

Interesting.

You shook your head, this wasn’t the time for coworker drama.

Ukai returned, baggie in hand. He set it down on the table. Korosensei looked none the worse for wear.

Sonokawa came running out a moment later, “Mr. Karasuma. As we suspected, it’s no use. Even when we play the government card, the hotel owners maintain they have the right to protect their guests’ identity.”

“Intolerable!” Korosensei sounded beside himself.

“I knew it...” Karasuma sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You did…?” Korosensei asked in surprise.

“A friend of mine in local law enforcement warned me this might happen. The hotel our mystery man chose is notorious with the local police. It’s a hotbed for organized crime from all over, considered a neutral rendezvous point. The owners have connections with higher-ups in the government. Law enforcement knows to leave it alone.” Karasuma sighed.

Leave it to fuckin’ Asano to have his students chill on an island known for organized crime.

Irina shook her head, “And uh… the Ministry didn’t think to maybe scope the place out beforehand?”

Karasuma looked at her, “It was deemed a non-threat.”

“Because of course, it was.” you sighed, “Because they have the government in their pocket.”

He gave a nod, “Private security, illegal business dealings, drugs, wild parties...” he shook his head, “The government turns a blind eye to all of it.”

“So, obviously the hotel management won’t help us then. Which means we can’t get intel on the guy.” Karma huffed.

“So what do you do?! If we don’t do something half the class is gonna die!” Yoshida was panicking, “We didn’t come to this island to BE killed!”

“Calm down, Yoshida.” the voice was Hara’s, she was looking over from her pallet, her voice remarkably strong for someone so ill, “We came here to be killers, not victims, remember? We won’t die that easily. Look how far we’ve come. We just need to come up with a plan..”

Yoshida looked shamefaced, “Yeah… sorry, Hara...”

Terasaka came over to the table, looking at Karasuma and then at Nagisa and Kayano, “No way we just do what the asshole tells us to do. I mean, come on, use the runts as a proxy? We’d just be handing him hostages.” he thumped his fists lightly on the two’s heads.

Nagisa and Kayano didn’t look pleased. Nagisa gave him a look.

“Okay, that was rude. I’m sorry.” he huffed, “But I don’t like them playing dirty tricks on us. They’ve got us by the balls! No one fucks around with my friends’ lives.” he hiked a thumb at Hazama and Muramatsu, laying on blankets nearby.

Faintly you heard, Hazama mutter, “What an idiot, we’re gonna die...”

It sounded affectionate…

Maybe.

“I vote we ignore what the jackass wants us to do! Let’s get everyone to the hospital and forget this ever happened!” Terasaka was fuming.

“Not an option.” Takebayashi said curtly, “If it really is an unknown artificial virus, even the biggest hospitals won’t have the antivirals to stop it. We would be placing our friends at greater risk from the stress of moving them for no reason..” 

“Seriously?!” Terasaka stared at him and looked to you for confirmation.

You looked over at him and then back at the students, “A hospital might be the end result but for now treating the symptoms is the most important thing we can do. Even if we wanted to get them to a hospital right now, we can’t. We would be waiting till morning.”

“We’ll treat the symptoms for the time being.” Takebayashi said, filling another ice pack, “You hurry up and make your deal with the enemy. You need to get to that trade-off spot.”

“Takebayashi...” Terasaka was staring at him in surprise.

Probably because of how briskly the boy was handling this situation.

Medical family. You had the idea that keeping feelings out of things has been trained into him early...

Karasuma paced for a moment and paused, looking down at Korosensei who was still lying on the table next to Karasuma’s forgotten phone, “You’re the one they’re after at the end of the day.”

“We sure these kids are going to give up their target so easily?” Irina looked over at him.

An uncomfortable quiet grew.

What could you do? What could any of you do? Even Karasuma’s hands were tied...

“I think I might have a solution.” Korosensei’s voice shook everyone out of their thoughts, “At least one better than going to a hospital or complying with their demands…”

Everyone turned their attention to him.

Ritsu’s voice spoke up, “Korosensei? I’m all set!”

“Excellent. Ritsu’s finished the prep work I asked her to do. If the healthy students would step closer, please. Be sure you’re wearing something you don’t mind getting dirty.”

Karasuma looked at him, listening, but the octopus wasn’t giving much in the way of an explanation.

“We’re in this together and so we go together.”

Karasuma looked at him then at the students.

It was clear they were on the side of the octopus.

Karasuma shook his head, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Korosensei chuckled, “I always do.”

Shortly, cars were rounded up, driven by Karasuma’s assistants. You turned your attention to the ill children. Okuda was taking vitals and Takebayashi was changing out cool cloths. You turned to the waitress, “Bottled water? These kids could use it-”

“Mx. Reader!” you turned, surprised to see Karasuma calling you over.

You joined him, “Yes?”

“You’re coming with us.”

“What? But the kids-”

He leveled his gaze at you, “You said yourself, they have a week before it turns terminal. These kids may be going into gunfire or worse. We need a medic.”

You looked back at Takebayashi and Okuda. Okuda looked up at you, “Go on, Mx. Reader. This is what you’ve been training us for, remember?”

Korosensei’s words came back to you.

_ The greatest joy of being a teacher is when a student provides a clear answer to a question you yourself were troubled by. _

_ Have faith. _

_ Trust them. _

You gave a nod, “Keep tabs on their vitals, give them to Ritsu. If you need to confer on something, have her contact me.” you looked to the waitress, “First-aid kit?”

She nodded and ran to get it.

“Keep them hydrated, watch for any signs of worsening conditions. Plenty of ice and try to minimize contact with body fluids. Just because the guy says it’s not contagious doesn’t mean it isn’t contagious.”

The two gave a nod. You took a breath and nodded back, looking to Karasuma, “Okay.”

The lot of you piled into cars. As the vehicle pulled away, your eyes lingered on the receding lights of the hotel.

God… you hoped they would be okay.

In short order, you were driving along a winding mountain road. The mood of the car was tense, worried. The one lighthearted aspect was poor Nagisa. You were all packed into the large black vehicles like sardines. Karasuma driving and Irina upfront with him. Which left you in the back with the kids. You were in an isolated seat, meanwhile, in the back sat Karma, Kayano, and Kimura with a very irritated Nagisa stretched across their laps.

“This is humiliating,” he grumbled.

“Better than the trunk,” Karma smirked.

“Or the roof...” Kimura looked down at Nagisa whose head was in his lap.

“Or the glove compartment.” came a muffled and very annoyed Korosensei from the front of the car.

Karasuma had shoved him in there when he’d refused to explain more of his plan along the way.

Ritsu was navigating, “Here!”

You pulled to a stop and everyone piled out. You were on a long stretch of road, a cliff face to one side going down and a view of the lights of the city below. The ocean stretched on to the horizon, lit by the crescent moon. But the attention was focused on the cliff face on the other side. A steep series of rocky outcroppings. You could just make out the wall of the hotel at the top and a pale halo of light was gleaming around the peak.

“It’s so high...” Kimura’s voice was soft, worried.

And then Ritsu spoke up, “I infiltrated the hotel’s computers and got schematics of the interior--complete with guard locations.” you looked on your phone, the others did the same as she was displaying wireframe models of the layout. “The highest concentration of security staff is stationed in and around the main entrance, where it’s functionally impossible to enter without passing by the front desk. However, there  _ is _ an entryway on this side, atop the ledge. A service entrance. The terrain doesn’t permit easy access, so security, while present, isn’t as strong.”

Oh, surely they weren’t going to suggest-

Korosensei spoke from where he swung in the bag on Karasuma’s arm, “You don’t want the madman to have his way, do you? There’s just one thing to do! Ten of your classmates are ill. Two others have been left behind to care for them. That leaves you to operate on their behalf. We’ll sneak in, surprise out mysterious adversary, and steal the antidote!”

The group stared at him in surprise.

“What?” you asked, astounded by the suggestion.

“It’s too dangerous.” Karasuma said, turning the bag to look into the octopus’ face, “The staff is accustomed to outside threats. And whoever the hell this guy is? He’s a pro.”

“Perhaps the wisest course of action would be to simply hand me over, is that it? Unconditional surrender? The choice is yours.”

Yada stared up at the cliff, “That's… going to be difficult...”

“It’s going to be one hell of a climb...” Sugaya said staring up into the darkness.

“More like impossible! Ten to one they’d plummet to their deaths before reaching the hotel.” Irina said sharply. You gave her a look and she shrugged, “Just stating the facts.”

“It’s not worth the risk...” Karasuma said, shaking his head, “We’ll play by the enemy’s rules. Nagisa, Kayano, I’m sorry, but-”

When you turned to look you saw that Isogai was already climbing, “C’mon, what’re we scared of? The ledge? That’s a piece of cake!”

“I know, right? Especially compared to our usual training!” Okano was scaling the cliff like some kind of spider.

“Truth,” Hayami replied.

Your students were mountain goats...

“Nurufufufu~” Korosensei chuckled at the stunned expressions on you and your co-workers’ faces.

Isogai paused on a ledge, looking down, “Oh, yeah. See? We can handle this! Now, whoever’s waiting at the top may be a different story. So, Mr. Karasuma… I know this is going to be tough but… we trust you as our commander. We’re going to need your help.”

“Help us make this bastard pay! Show ‘em what it means to mess with E Class!” Terasaka called down.

By now, the kids were perched on a ledge, looking down at you all.

“As you can see, they’re no ordinary students. You have a fifteen-member special forces unit at your beck and call.” Korosensei said, pride brimming in his voice.

“Fifteen?” Irina asked, looking over, “I only count fourteen.”

“Don’t forget about me!” Ritsu chirped.

“Quickly, my friend. Time is of the essence.” Korosensei’s voice was serious as he addressed Karasuma.

Karasuma stared at him for a moment, clearly still wrapping his head around the fact that the octopus had outmaneuvered him and come up with a plausible, if not ridiculous, solution to the problem… all while effectively being a goldfish in a bag.

To be honest though? It was just another day in E Class at this point.

He looked up at the kids, “All right, listen up! When we reach the summit, our objective is the hotel’s top floor. This is a stealth infiltration, so our best weapon is the element of surprise. I want you to use the same hand signals and formations I’ve taught you. The only difference here is who we’re targeting. You’ve got three minutes to memorize the map. We commence at 21:50!”

“Yes, sir!”

You paused. 21:50? How the hell was it almost ten o’clock?

“Get ready.” Karasuma looked at you.

Wait.

WAIT.

Shit.

You looked up at the mountain and back at him, realization setting in, “Oh god...”

There was the barest wisp of humor in his response, “What did you think you were training for?”

Well… _fuck._


	69. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!  
> We're deviating just a touch from the canon here for reasons.

“There is no way I’m making that in heels,” Irina said, looking up at the cliff, she turned to Karasuma.

He gave a long-suffering sigh, “Fine.”

“Fine? What do you mean fine?!” she looked at him.

He went over to her and hoisted her onto his back, “Arms around my neck unless you want to fall.”

She made a sound of surprise and quickly latched on. He turned to you and held out his arm, “Here, take this.”

You found yourself in possession of one Octopus Ball.

He chuckled at you and you sighed looking up at the cliff face. It was huge, the kids were already well on their way up it. There were no ropes, no nets, and no octopus to catch you should you fuck this up.

Drills had _nothing_ on this…

Sure. You’d been climbing all over the mountain and trees after these kids but you were always lagging behind still.

You could see Okano leaping up the cliff and your stomach dropped. How the hell were you going to do this...

Karasuma looked at you, “The only difference between this and drills is the target.”

You looked at him in surprise.

“It’s not the terrain you’re used to but it’s not terrible terrain. Climb with your feet, rest when you need to, breathe...” he gave you a look and you realized you hadn’t let out your breath. You did so in a rush. “And be confident.”

You gave a nod and approached the rocks. You cinched your bag’s strap tight, arranging it to be flush to your back vs hanging at your side. Then you fastened your passenger to the strap, “Okay...” you looked down at him, “Ready?”

“Of course!” the octopus chuckled, “I have faith in you.”

You began sorting out hand and footholds, making your way up the cliff face, “Easy for you to say, if we fall _you’ll_ survive.” you grumbled.

He went quiet and you saw a touch of blue enter his face.

“...Sorry,” you mumbled, reaching up to the next hold. 

“It’s alright.” he said softly, “You can _do_ this.”

The way he said it, you almost believed him.

 _Look up, don’t look down._ You reminded yourself.

Your going was slow but no slower than Karasuma, you noticed. Given he had Irina on his back.

Irina gave an alarmed yelp, “Climb slower Karasuma! You’re shaking me! I swear on my life _if you drop me!_ ”

Korosensei chuckled at her predicament. You focused on where to put your foot next.

“They have an excellent sense of balance,” Korosensei said suddenly. You saw that he’d shifted in the bag as you climbed and was now looking skyward at the children.

Karasuma looked over, pausing for a moment, “I had them practice climbing on the mountain. They need the core strength and balance to be ready for their target.”

“I see… well, that accounts for their _remarkable_ proficiency at flyboarding.” Korosensei spoke with interest.

Could they maybe… _not_ be teachers for five minutes?

“WILL YOU LADIES STOP GABBING ALREADY?! _MY ARMS ARE GETTING TIRED!_ ” Irina yelled.

You tried not to laugh. You failed.

She just nailed what you’d been thinking so well.

Something about Irina freaking the fuck out centered you.

Just another day in E Class. No big deal.

You _could_ do this.

You made it to the first ledge and took a minute, rolling your shoulders. It only got more sheer from this point. You shook your hands out a bit.

“You’re doing magnificently, Reader.” Korosensei chuckled, “Keep it up.”

Karasuma was kneeling for a second, giving Irina a moment to rest.

Taking a breath, you tackled the next section feeling astounded.

Sure, you’d been training with the kids. Sure, you’d been getting stronger.

But compared to everyone else you were _not quite_ up to par.

And yet…

This was a lot easier than you’d expected.

Confidence surged through you as you focused on the next foothold in your climb.

When you crested the cliff edge you joined the kids in huddling against bushes beside a stone fence at the edge of the hotel’s gardens. You were winded, the muscles in your arms and legs were twitching from the effort, and your hands were a bit roughed up but you’d done it. You were here. Carefully, you readjusted your bag and removed Korosensei from the strap.

“See?” he chuckled at you, “You did well!”

You couldn’t help the stupid smile his praise brought you.

Ritsu spoke up from Karasuma’s phone, “I can open the electric lock and I’ve disabled the security camera but I can’t do much past that without notice...”

Karasuma gave a nod, “Can you run a final check on our infiltration route?”

“Roger that. Displaying the interior map now.” Ritsu said.

Everyone took a look at their phones.

“We can’t use the elevator without a master pass card for each floor. So, we have to take the stairs. The stairs are scattered so our route is going to make a rough upward spiral to reach the tenth floor.”

“It’s like a TV station...” Chiba said in surprise.

Kayano looked at him, “What do you mean?”

“Apparently they have complex layouts to prevent a terrorist takeover,” Chiba replied.

“I can see why the bad guys like this place. Kind of ironic though” Sugaya leaned forward, peeking over the wall.

“Let’s go.” Karasuma hopped the wall, keeping low to the ground as he made his way to the door, “We don’t have much time. I’ll be adapting orders as the situation unfolds, so stay alert.”

“Yes, sir.” It was Isogai, following after.

You all made your way into a back hallway, heading to the main hall of the first floor. Karasuma pressed himself flush to the wall by the entrance, surveying the scene.

“There are more guards than I expected...”

“That’s a lot of guys for all of us to sneak past,” Nagisa stated.

You heard the telltale clack of heels as Irina stepped up next to you, she was twirling a glass idly in her hand.

Where had she even-

Oh… there was a drink cart along the wall.

“What? Just… go on through.” she looked at the group with the same look you got from her soft often, “You know, like normal?”

The kids stared at her in disbelief.

“Can you not see the problem here, Professor Bitch?” Sugaya asked her, alarmed.

Kimura stared at her, “How the hell are we supposed to just waltz through the lobby with so many security guards on duty?!”

Irina smirked and patted Karasuma’s shoulder before exiting into the hall, “Like I said, walk normally.”

You watched with the rest of your group as Irina’s purposeful walk fell into a tipsy stumble. She meandered her way towards the guards, bumping into one, “Oh! Sorry.~”

That… was the Irina voice you’d heard the first few days she’d been in the classroom.

“Bit too much to drink,” she said sheepishly, waving the glass, “Probably shouldn’t have hit up the minibar in my room before...”

“Oh… ah… think nothing of it, miss.”

“I’m the pianist scheduled to perform here next week. I came early to see the sights.” she made her way to the piano, taking a seat, “Let me see if this baby’s in tune. It’ll help me sober up. Would it be okay if I tickled the keys a bit?”

“Well, uh… let me check with the front-” she stopped the guard with a hand on his arm, looking up at him under her lashes.

“Aw, come on. They don’t care. I want you to hear me play. And then critique me. It’ll be a private concert.” When she wasn’t pulling these moves on the octopus or on Karasuma, you were surprised how well they worked. She… actually seemed kind of charming.

Nothing like her _actual_ drunk self.

Which was charming in a completely different way.

“Critique... you?” one of the guards moved forward, surprised.

“Sure, you work hard. You deserve a chance to play critic. Help a lady hone her… _technique_.” her tone sounded like she was referring to playing something that was definitely not musical in nature.

She put her fingers to the keys and you couldn’t help but stare.

She was-

“She can actually play?” Sugaya said in disbelief.

Kimura shook his head in surprise, “She’s really good...”

“Ah, the Fantasie-Impromptu.” Korosensei said decisively, “ _That_ , boys and girls, is an assassin with _multiple blades!_ An assassin who has mastered the use of her charisma, her appearance, _and_ her talents. She charms, she bewitches, she fills the air with sweet music, captures the imagination. Truly _enchanting_ . Every ear is seduced. And, _more importantly_ , every _eye_ is riveted!”

You remembered the night of the nomikai in the karaoke room with her singing, the way she’d had everyone’s attention.

And that had been with her actually tipsy and just having fun.

When she was doing it purposefully like this?

It was absolutely mesmerizing.

The way she moved as she played, the smile on her face, the blush on her cheeks, the way she seemed to give herself to the music…

Where the hell did she hide _this_ all the time?

“C’mon, don’t watch from so far away.” she looked to some of the guards on the far side of the room, her voice light and sweet, “You should move closer so you can see my fingering.” the implication was clear but alluring, “You can tell me if I’m doing anything wrong…”

As the men approached the piano you saw her drop one hand down, signaling.

She could buy you twenty minutes of time.

Your group quietly made their way through the hall, the guards none the wiser. They were far too busy being captivated by the remarkable woman with her hands dancing across the keys.

As you followed the students you had to remind yourself that this was the same woman who you commonly heard shrieking at the octopus about ogling her.

The same woman who had said, “it tastes like a rainbow” when trying to seduce Karasuma.

The same woman who always looked at you like you were an idiot.

You wondered if maybe you were…

In the hall you all paused for a moment, doing a headcount to make sure everyone had made it through.

“We made it past the first checkpoint!” Kayano gave a sigh of relief.

Sugaya grinned, “Man, Professor Bitch kicks ass! Playing like that with _those_ nails?”

Isogai nodded, looking over at him, “Right? She never told us she could play!”

You saw Karasuma staring into the room you’d left. His expression was… softer than usual.

He turned to the kids before heading up the stairs, “There’s more to her than what you see every day. A skilled assassin is a master of many arts. An assassin of her caliber would have mastered several fine arts to assist her in her assassinations. Sure, she’s crass and overbearing at times but the woman who’s been teaching you conversation skills is among the one or two top honeypot masters in the world.”

From the bag in your hands, you heard, “Nurufufufu, see, class? Even when I have none, you’re in good hands.”

You smirked holding him up to eye level, “Sure is a good thing they have other teachers, huh?~”

He chuckled, squinting at you, “Of course! Though I’m _certain_ they would find a solution in our absence.”

“Let’s go.” Nagisa grinned.

Kayano nodded.

Your group made it up to the third floor.

“Okay. Now that we’re past the stringent entrance checks, we should be able to pose as regular guests.” Karasuma looked back at the group.

“But, sir.” Sugaya looked over at him, “This is a hotel for criminals, isn’t it? Do they put up groups of junior-high kids here?”

“Plenty, from what I’ve heard. Where do you think the offspring of the ultra-rich stay when they travel?” Karasuma looked to him, “High and mighty brats from rich families. They’re raised like spoiled prince and princesses and are encouraged to get involved in criminal activity from a young age.”

“Exactly!” you looked down in surprise at Korosensei, hefting up the bag he was in, “So, walk around like you own the place! Look down your nose at the world. Let’s practice. _Show me entitled!_ ”

The kids paused for half a moment looking at one another. 

“Think A class,” you smirked.

The kids immediately fell into some of the most ridiculous expressions you’d seen…

Pretty accurate to the main campus.

“ _Yes!_ ” Korosensei exclaimed, “That’s the way!”

Karasuma looked over at him and rolled his eyes at the green stripes, “You don’t have to join in, you know.”

“However…” the octopus continued, “It occurs to me, we don’t know our _opponent’s_ face. He might even attack us while posing as a regular guest. Best marshal our efforts toward staying vigilant.”

“Yes, sir!” the kids responded.

As you made your way through the halls, you lagged back just a tad and glanced at the orb in your hands, “Doing okay?”

He looked at you in surprise, “Of course!”

You gave a small nod, part of you relaxing.

“You should be more concerned about our class.”

“I am but I just… wanted to be sure.”

He chuckled, “I’m fine. It’s been a very exciting evening, to be sure, but I’m absolutely safe…”

His tone gave you pause, “You’re worried.”

Shock registered on his face for a moment as you called him out, “I… I admit, as innovative as that assassination attempt was… it came frighteningly close to success.”

“And now we have this going on...”

“Quite.” he said softly, “But I’m confident in our class. They can do this.”

You gave a nod, “Have faith.”

“Exactly.”

You caught up with the group a bit, closing the gap so you were properly among the students again. As you did so, a pair of men walked past. They didn’t even look twice at you.

Kimura spoke softly, “It really is like we’re all just regular guests.” 

Chiba nodded, “If anything, _they_ avoid eye contact. I guess it makes sense if you think about where we are. This place has a reputation. Folks come here to keep a low profile.”

“I’d pegged everyone in the hotel as our enemy,” Kayano sounded positively chipper, “But it looks like we might be able to get to the top faster than we thought!”

“And even if something did happen Mr. Karasuma is with us so I think we’ll be alright. Feels a lot safer with him leading the charge.” Okano grinned.

The hall opened up to accommodate loveseats and tables for guests who might want to rest or socialize.

"Who said this was gonna be hard?" Terasaka laughed, "It’ll be a cinch now that we’re inside!"

"Stay alert, we're not there yet." Karasuma chided him, still taking point.

"Yeah but the clock's tickin'. I say we just storm the joint!" You watched as the boy raced ahead, followed closely by Yoshida.

Karasuma called after them to wait and you sighed, this was supposed to be a quiet operation, wasn't it-

You didn't notice the man approaching the boys until Fuwa yelled for them to watch out.

Karasuma darted forward, throwing the pair behind him as a thick purple gas burst forth, obscuring your view. The gas dispersed as quickly as it had arrived, revealing a rather plain-looking man with a prominent nose dressed in island tourist garb. There were shouts from the kids and Karasuma was standing in place, his legs looked unsteady under him. "Karasuma!" You called to your coworker.

He raised one hand in a jerking motion, indicating for you to stay back. You noticed his arm twitching involuntarily.

The attacker pulled his scarf down from his mouth with a smile, looking to Fuwa, "What gave me away? I pride myself on being as nondescript as possible. That happens to be my specialty, Little Miss Helmet Head.

Fuwa was staring him down, "Simple, you’re the guy who served us those drinks when we first arrived."

"Fuwa…" Nagisa looked between her and the newcomer, dawning realization on his face, "She's right…"

"If you work at the other hotel then it's downright fishy to see you walking around here. It can’t be a coincidence.

Isogai nodded, "Yeah!"

The man chuckled, "You got a good eye for faces."

"So _you're_ the one that got everybody sick…" Kayano ventured, watching him.

"That’s not enough to pin the blame on me." he smirked, "After all, what evidence do you have? Anyone could have slipped your group anything throughout the day."

"Uh… well…" Kayano trailed off, uncertain.

There was a laugh from Fuwa… one that distinctly reminded you of a certain octopus, "The virus had to be in something we ate or drank. That’s what Takebayashi told us before we left. The only times we all ate or drank the same thing was with those drinks and our shipboard dinner. But _we_ served at dinner and our teachers _aren’t_ sick. So, unless you were able to know exactly which courses would be eaten by students only, that leaves the drinks from this morning. That means the culprit is you, mister!"

"That's amazing, Fuwa!" Nagisa stared at her.

Kayano nodded, "Just like a real detective!"

Fuwa grinned, "When you read a lot of shonen manga, you learn to adjust quickly to unusual situations. I credit my taste in the detective genre.

"Manga?" Nagisa sighed.

"Hm? Yeah. Why not? Best way to read the classics. Locked door murder mysteries, vanished heirs, phantom blackmailers. You name it." She smirked, "Investigation skills come in handy for an assassin!"

"Well, well, aren't you a regular Yako Katsuragi?" The attacker chuckled, "Too bad your demon's out of commission."

Fuwa bristled.

There was a tense sound from the octopus.

You watched as Karasuma dropped to all fours.

"Well, congrats on uncovering my identity, but I’m afraid it’s a little too late." He smirked, looking over your group with a sort of distant amusement.

"He’s a poisoner, children. An expert skilled in the practical application of his craft." Korosensei's voice was low but filled with… almost an appreciation of the man's skill.

Karasuma wheezed, looking up at the man.

The poisoner in question simply chuckled, looking to Karasuma, "Enjoying that? My very own paralysis gas for indoor use, all homemade. One whiff and you’re a living statue. Fresh air counteracts it and disperses the excess, leaving no evidence behind. Strong enough to freeze an elephant if needed." He smirked.

“I assume that you must be the one who developed the virus too, then.” Korosensei spoke, “An efficient non-infectious virus. Perfect as a bargaining chip for negotiating deals...” 

You felt shuffling beside you. The kids were moving. 

"Maybe, not that it matters of course, given you don’t seem like you’re here to trade. Looks like negotiations have broken down. Guess I’ll have to tell my boss. Oh well, you win some, you lose some."

As he turned to leave, the kids scattered, blocking the exits. They looked ready to fight. You hadn’t realized it until now, but you’d fallen into stance too.

Isogai spoke, “First rule when encountering an enemy...”

“Scout the exits, block their retreat...” Megu said, narrowing her eyes.

“Cut off their communications.” Terasaka rounded out the lesson.

“We’ve learned from the best; isn’t that right, Mr. K?” Isogai’s voice was filled with challenge and assurance.

You wished you could be half as confident as these kids were.

“Sorry, pal.” you watched as Karasuma rose to his feet, body still stiff and janky, “The minute you saw us, you should have held off attacking and gone back to tell your boss.”

The man turned, pulling up his scarf to cover his mouth, “I’m surprised you can still talk. But still, your team is nothing but a group of brats following orders. First rule when facing numerous enemies? Cut off the head, and the body dies!”

Karasuma swayed on his feet for a moment.

“OBSERVE!” the man whipped out another canister, gas filled the air and you heard the sickening thud of someone being struck.

When the smoke cleared both men lay on the floor. The children cried out in alarm.

“Nagisa!” you tossed Korosensei to him and the boy caught him easily. You moved to Karasuma, kneeling down to check on him. His teeth were gritted, his mouth in a tight rictus. If you didn't know better you would think it was a tetanic spasm. The cords of his neck stood out, his chin jutting forward, back arched. You could hear him gritting his teeth. His limbs were tight and pulled to his chest and his eyes were wide, looking at you. You quickly shrugged off your overshirt and balled it up, tucking it under his head, “Sugaya, help me with him!"

Sugaya and Isogai approached and helped you to turn him onto his side. He wasn’t shaking but his body was taut as a bowstring. His pulse was fast, his breathing uneven. 

“Terasaka, Yoshida!” Korosensei’s voice was sharp and commanding, “Take care of our adversary. I think we’d rather not have him reporting to his boss.”

The boys nodded, producing rope from Terasaka’s bag and tying up the attacker.

Fuwa approached, looking down at Karasuma’s stiff form.

“That guy said it was a paralytic agent.” you said, digging in your bag, “But this is more like a tetanus spasm.”

Acidosis? Alkalosis? There was _no way_ this was just from hyperventilation was it-

“Is he going to be okay?” Sugaya asked.

“I don’t know… if this guy is making custom poisons...” you looked over at Terasaka, “He awake?”

“Nah, he’s out.” Terasaka said, “Still breathin’ though. Looks like Mr. Karasuma gave him a hard knock before he went down.”

“See if you can get him to come around. We need to know more about this poison.” you looked back at Karasuma who was staring back at you, “I know man, I know.”

He tried to vocalize but what came out was a harsh gasping sound.

“Hey, hey, take it easy. Just try to keep breathing.”

God, you wished you had literally _any_ muscle relaxer on hand right now...

“He said that stuff turned people into living statues…” Karma said, leaning over, “he wasn’t kidding, huh?”

“Karasuma, can you follow my finger with your eyes?” you held up a finger watching as his eyes traced it’s path, “Okay, so I don’t think this is a seizure but I’m not sure. Let’s see if we can move him. Gently.”

As the kids lifted Karasuma there were some exclamations of horror.

“It’s like picking up a block of wood...” Okano shuddered.

He was stiff, his muscles holding him tense in position.

You gave a nod, “Whatever this stuff is it’s got his muscles locked up.”

In short order, you had Karasuma laid out on one of the loveseats. You noticed, as the kids laid him down, that his limbs flexed and moved, just a touch.

You got down to his eye level, “Okay, can you look up for me?”

He did so.

Thank god, some communication.

“Alright, I don’t know how long this is going to last. But we’re working on that. You understand? Look up for yes and down for no.”

Up. Good.

“Okay, test question. Are you blonde?”

He looked down.

“You breathing okay?”

A pause, then up.

Thank god.

Hypoxia and aspiration were real concerns right now.

Carefully, you took his arm and tried to move his limb, it relaxed but only slightly, you were able to extend it an inch or so. He made a sound.

“Painful?”

Up.

Christ, what the fuck had this man dosed him with?

“Okay. And just to make sure, no trouble breathing?”

Down.

Okay. Good.

“‘Ey, Doc. Guy’s comin’ around but he’s pretty out of it.” Terasaka said, looking over.

“Ask him about this stuff, see if it wears off or if he has an antidote.”

You heard Terasaka questioning the man in a rough, low voice. Turning your attention back to Karasuma, you worked on his limb again, carefully seeing how far you could get the limb to loosen.

Not much, but it was more than he’d been when he’d first been moved.

Terasaka came over a few moments later with an item in his hand, “Got an antidote.”

“How can we be sure that’s an antidote?” Okano asked, “For all we know he’s just trying to finish him off!”

Korosensei spoke up suddenly, “Nagisa, my boy, would you kindly take me over to speak with our would-be assassin?”

You took the vial from Terasaka, looking it over. It was a nondescript clear liquid. Could be anything really…

After a few moments, Nagisa returned and Korosensei spoke up, “Administer it.”

“Are you sur-”

“Yes.” he responded, “Or we can wait an hour but that option doesn’t seem prudent given the circumstances.”

You looked at Karasuma, “You okay with this?”

After a moment, he looked up.

“Oral or injection?”

“Injection,” Korosensei said definitively.

“Type?”

“Intravenous.”

After getting the proper dosage information and locating a needle (you’d never been more grateful for military surplus in your _life_ ), you took hold of Karasuma’s arm.

“Okay, try to keep as still as you can.” you located a vein and, with a quick prayer to whoever might be listening, you injected the substance into his arm.

Your group waited with bated breath for a result.

Slowly, but surely, you saw Karasuma's muscles relax. He began to sag into the couch giving out harsh coughs as his chest relaxed.

His breathing evened out and you felt a rush of relief.

He struggled to sit up and you gently pushed him back down, "Hold on. You need a minute."

"'m fine," his voice was hoarse, tired…

"Like hell you are. You're taking a minute." With that, you looked to the kids, "Keep him here."

You made your way over to the attacker and knelt down. He looked at you groggily.

Most likely a mild concussion. 

"You made my kids sick but you said there's an antidote. How fast can you manufacture it?"

He winced and sighed, "Takes near a month ‘n by the time it’s ready they’d be dead. I'm afraid you'll have to play ball…"

You gritted your teeth thinking of the students back at the pavilion.

"Don't think so." You got up, "Terasaka, stash him somewhere out of sight for now. If you gag him make it loose, we don't want him choking on vomit or something if that concussion is bad."

Terssaka gave a nod and he and Yoshida stashed him under a table.

When you returned you found Karasuma sitting upright, shaking like a leaf.

"Muscle fatigue." Korosensei said, "Those spasms were _quite_ nasty."

"'ve had worse." Karasuma took a deep breath, "Isogai. A hand?"

Isogai gave you a glance but moved to Karasuma, offering him a hand up, "Y-yes, sir."

You moved to help as well. Karasuma managed to get to his feet but his legs were clearly not cooperating. He hissed just a touch, his movements jerky. You could see the occasional spasm contort his features.

Isogai looped one of Karasuma's arms over his shoulders so the man could use him as a crutch.

"We need to move." Karasuma looked at you and the children, "We’re running out of time."

"Sir, I don't think you should keep going like this…" Isogai’s voice was filled with worry.

"I’ll be better in a half hour. Just don’t do anything crazy." Karasuma coughed, thumping his chest with a fist.

"Oh yeah, ‘cause we’re the crazy ones. That stuff could have killed an elephant." Sugaya was staring at him.

"You're kind of a beast, Mr. K…" Okano said, “But I don’t know about moving you...”

There was a moment's pause before the students looked… to you.

"What should we do?" Isogai asked.

"Well, while I don't think Karasuma is going to be recovered that quickly, I think the best we can do is move forward… I'm… I'm kinda out of my depth on this one. But I'm here to help."

"Onward and upward!" Korosensei exclaimed, Remember, class, courage!"

The students nodded and Isogai took point, supporting a very weak looking Karasuma.

How the hell were you going to make it through this with the group leader out of commission?

Well, for good or ill this is where you were.

You followed closely behind.

Onward and upward, you guessed...


	70. The Last Samurai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come.

The halls in this section were, thankfully, empty. Your group moved along quietly, the kids were clearly unnerved.

"Woohoo! It feels like summer vacation is in full swing, am I right?!" Korosensei's voice was obnoxiously chipper.

The children were not impressed and immediately set about chastising him.

"Well, aren’t you happy go-lucky!"

"Nice that you can stay positive!"

"Says the only one who’s absolutely safe!"

"I’d be too if I had a protective shell!"

Sugaya looked to Nagisa, "SHOW HIM WHAT FULL SWING REALLY MEANS!"

Nagisa abruptly twirled the bag in a circle, Korosensei screeching in alarm. 

Karma reached out, stopping Nagisa’s hand and smirked over at Terasaka, “Okay, Terasaka, Take your belt off a sec, I’m jamming him in. Shorts off and spread those cheeks!”

“THE HELL YOU ARE! That’d kill me!” Terasaka shouted, taking a step back.

Nagisa pulled his hand away from Karma, lifting the baggie up.

The poor orb of an octopus looked deflated inside his shell.

“‘Kay, I’ll bite. Why does _ this _ feel like summer vacation?” Nagisa asked.

The orb reinflated, his trademark grin reappearing, “Because my students are acting independently of me. That’s what summer’s about, really. In class, teachers are always testing their students but summer vacation is a time for students to test  _ themselves _ without the guidance and protection of their teachers. You learn to think and act on your own. The prognosis for anyone else in this predicament would be grim. But thanks to the lessons you’ve learned you have the tools to meet your foes head-on. This is an assassination vacation and you are going to  _ best _ it.”

Leave it to the octopus to give a pep talk after something like this…

The kids seemed tense still but they continued forward all the same.

You moved forward to joins Karasuma and Isogai.

“Karasuma?”

He looked at you, you noticed a spasm tense his face and neck at the motion. 

You hoped there were no lasting effects of this stuff. It had to be something neurological and that could be a real detriment to both his life and his career…

“Mn?” he replied, his limbs shaking as he hobbled along.

It was painful watching him walk. You’d seen this man climb a cliff not that long ago and here he was walking like he was 90 years old…

“You’re breathing okay now?”

He gave a nod.

“Still painful?” you nodded to his arm where you could see the muscles spasming under the skin. He made a face and you gave him a look, “Don’t be an idiot and lie to me.”

He gave a nod and you dug in your bag, procuring ibuprofen and acetaminophen, “I don’t have anything stronger… I might need to talk to the ministry about that if this is going to be a regular thing...”

You passed him a dose and handed him a bottle of water.

Isogai had to help him to open it and drink because his hands were shaking too badly.

You could see the frustration on his face.

“Let me know if things get any worse.” you looked to Isogai, “You too, just in case someone decides to be a brave idiot.”

“I’m just trying to get the job done.” Karasuma said to you, keeping his voice low, “I’m the commander here, I have to present-”

“No. You might be commander but that doesn’t mean you set a bad example.” you said sternly, “You’re injured. Incapacitated. You don’t want these kids to learn that that’s how they handle injury. Yeah, sure, sometimes you have to push through like now. But that doesn’t mean you have to pretend you’re fine.”

He stared at you for a moment, then sighed, “Fine.”

Falling back in the group a bit, you located Nagisa. He spotted you and offered the bag containing the octo orb. You accepted it.

“Karasuma is stubborn as ever I take it?” Korosensei chuckled just a bit, “I’d expect nothing less. His background has trained him for these sorts of things.”

“Yeah, well, he’s going to need to knock it off-”

“Nurufufufu~ Why Reader! Is it possible you’re suddenly understanding the issue with running into a situation without thinking?”

You looked at him critically before giving the bag a spin. He yelped.

Nagisa rolled his eyes.

You hefted the bag, looking at the orb inside, “You were saying?”

He pouted, “You don’t have to be so cruel about it!”

With a huff, you shook your head, “Maybe I should hand you off to Karma instead.”

“NO!”

Despite the tension and worry, you laughed, Nagisa joining in.

Seven more floors to go…

When you reached the fifth floor you noticed that Karasuma, while still struggling, seemed to be moving slightly better. As your group crested the stairs you found yourself facing a long curved hall. The floor had a lighted blue panel running down it’s center adding a blue overtone to the quiet space. One side was nothing but glass windows looking out over the island below. Stars twinkled in the dark sky. 

“The observation deck.” Korosensei stated, “Quite lovely, actually.”

“Yeah, maybe if we were sightseeing.” Kimura looked over at him.

“One can always appreciate the beauty of their surroundings, even in dire circumstances.” the octopus replied.

You faltered as the group came to a halt. Making your way forward, you tapped Isogai’s shoulder, “What is it?”

Before he could respond, Sugaya spoke, “Um, okay… why’s that dude just standing out in the open?”

You followed his gaze to see a tall blonde figure leaning against the glass window. He looked like he was waiting for someone and you had a feeling you knew who it was…

“The way he’s standing and that vibe he’s giving off...” Yada made a face.

“Yeah. I’m definitely picking up a kill-or-be-killed vibe.” Yoshida looked over at her with a nod.

There was the sound of impact and glass shattering and you watched in surprise as the place where the man’s hand had rested against the window splintered into a spiderweb of cracks.

What the hell?

Had his hand even moved?

“What a drag, hm. If I can hear your footsteps, you’re not tough enough for me, hm. Not a confident stride in the bunch. Supposedly some special-forces teacher was taking the lead, too, hm. Guess the gas got to him before I had the chance, hm. Smog live or did they kill each other at the same time, like men? Come on out, hm.” he crooked his finger.

The children looked to Karasuma who gave a nod. Carefully, your group edged into the light. The air was tense.

Then Karma spoke up, “Dude, what’s with all the ‘hm’s?”

Of course… it would be Karma.

The guy smirked, leveling a steely blue gaze at the boy.

You were surprised to notice that he was actually quite handsome…

Then again… you glanced at the octopus. Assassins were a _ varied _ bunch.

“Heard it would make me sound more like a samurai, hm. Read someplace they used to do it all the time to sound intimidating, hm. I like the way it plays. Makes me feel badass. So I’m trying it out, hm.”

Ohhhh kay well… you weren’t sure who gave him that idea but from the looks on your students’ faces you had a feeling it wasn’t quite on the mark.

Lifting his hands, he flexed his fingers, the knuckles cracking as he did so, “Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t mind, hm. After I kill you all here, I can drop the ‘hm’ with no loss of face, hm.”

“Your hands, sir...” Korosensei spoke, “Are those the only “tools of the trade” at your disposal?”

The fellow chuckled, reaching out and flexing his hand, “There’s actually quite a demand for this, hm. Passing through pat-downs has distinct advantages, hm. I approach the target and give their spine a quick twist or, if I feel like it, I crush their skull, hm.” he grabbed at the air, demonstrating.

Well… unless he was some freak of nature there was no way he was actually crushing skulls. But then again... 

You glanced at the octopus.

Best not to take chances…

This year was proving to be really fucking weird already.

“The interesting thing is that the more I use my hands to kill people the more I long to use them for something else. A fight, to be precise, hm. Against a mighty foe- to the death, hm. But what a letdown, hm. Seeing who I’m up against, I’ve all but lost my will to fight, hm. Plus, it’s a pain killing a bunch of small fry by myself, hm.” he pulled out a walkie talkie, “I’ll call in my boss and my colleague to kill you together, hm.”

Karma moved before you noticed, seizing a potted plant by the trunk and swinging it in a wide arc, smashing the walkie talkie out of the man’s hand. It smashed into the window, busted, and another circular spider web of cracks spread out across the glass.

What was the boy doing?

“Hey, buddy, hm.” Karma gave him a smirk, “You’re pretty average for a pro, aren’t you? Breaking glass, busting skulls? That supposed to be intimidating? Cause I can do that, too. But if your opening move is to call in reinforcements, maybe you’re too scared to take on a junior-high kid alone.”

“Karma! Stop-” Karasuma spoke up, trying to take a step forward, his legs shaking.

“Not so fast, Mr. Karasuma.” Korosensei’s tone was commanding, “Look. The boy’s chin is down. Karma typically enters a fight with his chin angled upward, looking down on his opponents. But this is different. True, his words may be rough and dripping with arrogance, but his eyes are trained straight ahead observing his foe’s every move. Finals were quite a blow to his precious ego. But I suspect he’s taken the lessons of that failure to heart.”

Karma held his makeshift weapon, watching the fellow in front of him.

“Fine. Show me what you got, hm.” the man shrugged out of his jacket, hands flexing in preparation.

“If you insist...” Karma’s voice was low, dangerous.

“Give this everything you’ve got, Karma. It’s time to test your strength against a professional!”

You looked at the octopus, “Are you serious?”

“Trust him, Reader.” he said, “The boy knows what he’s doing.”

Hoo boy… this was so much worse than Nagisa going up against Takaoka in the schoolyard...

Karma made the first move, swinging the potted plant again, this time aiming for the man’s head. The assassin caught it easily.

“Nice try, kid. You’ll have to find a better weapon than that, hm.”

With that said, he crushed the trunk of the plant in two.

“Don’t need one.” Karma’s voice was all confidence.

Karma dropped the plant and dodged back as the man reached for him. You watched in astonishment as Karma proceeded to block and dodge the man’s attacks effortlessly. In all your time during the drills with the kids, you had never seen him move quite like this… where had he even-

“Oh, wow. He’s blocking like an expert!” Kayano exclaimed.

“Those are your defensive moves, are they not, Mr. Karasuma?” Korosensei’s voice came from your hands and you paused.

He was right.

Those  _ were _ Karasuma’s moves.

You looked over at Karasuma and he glanced your way, giving a small nod of confirmation.

“When did you teach him-” you started.

He cut you off, “I didn’t. He must have picked it up from watching and fighting against me...”

That did nothing to help your anxiety. You turned your eyes back to the fight.

There was a break in the fight, the assassin looking at the boy with irritation, “Hm? What’s the problem? Evasive maneuvers ain’t gonna win this, hm. You have’ta come in for an attack!

Karma’s response was filled with his usual lazy arrogance, “Oh, you don’t say? I mean, I could just be distracting you while the rest of us slip past a few at a time. Aw, relax, I’m pretty underhanded on the best of days but no hijinx here. This is one fight I wanna win fair and square. Now… it’s my turn.” Karma cracked his knuckles and fell into stance, bouncing on his feet, “No tricks, no cheating, no holdin’ out. Just you an’ me. Fair and square, man to man.”

The man gave a smirk, satisfied, “I like that face of yours, young warrior, hm. Determination suits you. See, this is what I’ve been talkin’ about, hm! With you, I’ve got a chance- a chance at the fair fight I can’t experience in the assassination biz, hm.”

Karma surged forward, flinging himself at his opponent. His attack was blocked immediately and the two began exchanging blows. The boy got a strike in on the man’s thigh. The assassin stumbled, turning and dropping to the floor in a crouch. Karma leapt towards him and-

Gas swirled suddenly out from the man’s hand…

Oh fuck.

As the air dispersed, Karma dropped, limp, to the ground.

Panic. Sheer panic.

“I had a hunch this battle would drag on so I decided to give Smog’s paralysis gas a try, hm.” the fellow chuckled.

Your arms went numb.

There were sounds of alarm from the kids nearest to you.

“You son of a bitch! You said you wanted a fair fight! He wanted to fight you like a man and this is how you respond?” Yoshida yelled at him.

“I never said I _ only _ fight barehanded, hm. Try not to hear what you want to hear.” he gripped Karma by his face, lifting him off the ground. 

Okay, skull-crushing or not, this man was putting the boy’s whole spine at risk-

You felt your body start to move and there was a hiss from your hands as Korosensei responded, “Reader.  _ Stop. _ ”

You flinched.

“One mustn’t get too particular about one’s hangups, hm.” the assassin continued, still dangling the boy off the ground, “Just another key to sticking around in this business, hm. You say you’re underhanded on the best of days. I’m underhanded, like,  _ every _ day, hm. A spray of gas at point-blank range, hm… You’ll never defend against it if you don’t see it coming. If he was all that and had the tools for it he’d have done the same-

As if by magic, gas enveloped the pair again. When it dispersed the assassin’s body was taut, shaking.

Taut-

Karma had dropped like a sack of bricks, not a block of wood.

And certainly not in the cat-like way he touched ground as the man released his hold.

“Wh-what-” The man stuttered over his words, confused.

Karma smirked, holding up a canister of his own, “ What a coincidence! We were both thinking the same thing! Now, what was it you were saying about me being ‘all that’?”

“How… did you… get that… hm…?” the assassin was shaking, “ I-I sprayed you… at point-blank range. You should be paralyzed, hm?” 

He whipped a hand out, a blade appearing, and charged at Karma.

Karma dodged, letting him shoot past him. He seized the man’s arm, forcing him to drop the knife before slamming him to the floor. The guy yelled in anger and surprise.

Karma smirked towards the group, “C’mon, Terasaka- make it snappy! We’ll need duct tape and sheer numbers to beat this monster!”

Terasaka gave a bit of a chuckle, “Yeah, I’m on it. You’ve been yankin’ this creep’s chain all along, huh? Fair fight, my ass!”

The kids piled onto the assassin and set to work restraining him.

“Careful taping him up. If he can move in the slightest, he’ll be deadly.” Karasuma said, still leaning on Isogai, “Whatever you do, don’t let him get a hold on you. He’s incapacitated but he might be strong enough to spring back before too long.”

The kids dutifully agreed. When the fellow was completely bound, you approached, kneeling down to get a better look. He wasn’t as bad off as Karasuma was currently.

“So… you can crush a man’s skull, huh?” you raised an eyebrow.

He growled in response.

Karma looked over at you in surprise, “What’s wrong, Doc?”

You looked back at him, “I’d love to know how that’s possible. People can only apply half as much force as needed to do that.”

Karma laughed, “So you’re saying he played himself up too? Classic.”

“How did you even have a can of gas?” you looked to him, standing back up.

“I filched an unused cartridge from that poisoner guy, Smog, right?” he looked to the guy on the floor but didn’t give him time to respond, “It’s so handy, I wish it weren’t a one-time-use kind of thing.”

“How did you see it comin’, hm? You must’ve held your breath when I sprayed you. How’d you know to do that when my hands were empty, hm?” the guy growled, looking up at him.

Karma chuckled, “Isn’t it obvious? I was on guard against everything  _ but  _ bare hands.” he took a seat, looking at the guy with interest, “I’m sure you really did want a barehanded bout… but you would have had to stop us by any means necessary, and if I were you, I would have done the same. I trusted your attitude as a pro… and that’s why I was on guard. In a way, my mistrust was a compliment.”

“That’s really smart...” Kayano said in awe from beside you.

You looked over to her and Nagisa with a small smile, nearly jumping as Korosensei spoke from your hands, “The anguish of defeat had never darkened Karma’s door. Finals provided our cocky comrade with a much-needed reality check. Those exams taught him all too well:  _ Losers are people just like you. _ And when you find yourself among their number you inevitably find you can no longer make light of your opponent on the battlefield. Failure humanized the perspective of his former foes. If the enemy is no different from you then what is the enemy thinking? How much effort is the enemy putting into the battle? Respect makes one pay closer attention to one's enemy’s abilities and circumstances. He was able to foresee his adversary’s moves because he didn’t  _ underestimate  _ his abilities. Something he only learned through his previous failure. An assassin with that approach will  _ always _ be invaluable on the battlefield.” His tone was full of warmth and praise, “We must see our opponent, not as an obstacle, but as a person. Toiling in the shadow of defeat, we taste true victory. It is a pleasure to see you take this lesson to heart, Karma. I’m very excited about what your future holds in store.”

As Korosensei spoke, Karma motioned to Terasaka and the other boy tossed him something from his backpack.

From the floor, you heard a sigh as the bound assassin spoke, “You’re nothing to sneeze at, young warrior, hm. I may be beaten, but I enjoyed our time togeth-”

Karma’s reply was chipper, “What are you talking about? We’re not done! No, I’m just getting started!”

You watched as the boy opened what you now recognized as a small drawstring bag and began pulling out items. With a grin, he held up two in particular-

Oh no.

The man looked at him quizzically, “Hm? What in the hell are those s’posed to be?”

Karma’s voice was filled with mischievous delight, “Mustard and wasabi! You never know when you’re gonna need ‘em to shove up a nose.”

“What, hm?!” The guy struggled immediately but it was useless against the sheer amount of tape binding him.

You looked to the rest of the class, everyone was unnerved. You passed Korosensei to Nagisa and knelt back down by Karma, who was spreading his ‘tools of the trade’ across the floor. He picked up some sort of belt rig and put it on the guy. Smooth metal clips held the man’s lips back and his nostrils upturned. You suddenly remembered where you had seen this before…

How the fuck had this child gotten his hands on BDSM equipment?

“Part of keepin’ my guard up meant I had to play nice. But, hey, now that we’ve got you all bound up, I can let loose! You’ll wanna hold still or that special clip’s gonna rip your nostrils off. Let’s see…” he looked over the tools at his disposal.

There were clothespins, duct tape, a collar (no seriously, who was buying this child BDSM gear), safety pins, garlic, ghost peppers, gentian tea, firecrackers, chewing gum, idiot stickers, fake cockroaches, fake poop, and some yellow liquid in a vial that, given the rest of the items, you definitely weren’t interested in touching.

Behind you, you heard Nagisa, “So, uh… Korosensei, I notice Karma’s still a sadist.”

The warm tone was gone when Korosensei replied, “I’m very concerned about what his future holds in store.”

Karma picked up the bag of ghost peppers to add to the wasabi and hot mustard already in his hands. The assassin was looking between you and the boy, wide-eyed at this point. You could see the taut muscles in his neck, a side effect left over from the gas and his current state of fear you were sure.

As Karma opened the baggie of peppers you reached out, stopping him.

“Aw, c’mon, Doc, you’re not going to ruin the fun are ya’?” he gave you a smirk.

“This classroom is about assassination, not manslaughter.” you said, looking at him, “Shall I go down the list of what all that will do to him? Those are all going to cause pain in his mouth and nose. The irritation is going to make his eyes water which will make his nose run. He’ll start coughing. His heart rate will speed up and there’s a good chance he’ll vomit. While tied up and bound like this? He’ll aspirate and congrats, Karma, you’ll have murdered your first person.”

The kids looked ill at the rundown. Karma, meanwhile, looked disappointed.

“Hell, with the gas’ effect on him that might up the chances of that happening. Even in a person who isn’t being fucked up by a poison a ghost pepper can cause some horrendous reactions.”

The assassin showed a spark of relief. You looked to Karma, “That being said, he _ did _ try to kill you and he didn’t fight fair. So, pick  _ one _ . I’ll monitor.”

Sheer panic replaced the relief on the man’s face.

Karma sighed and looked down at him, “You got lucky, my friend. Now,” the boy paused, looking over his choices for a minute before going to the wasabi, “show us that samurai willpower? Hm?” 

He jammed the tube into the man’s nose, giving it a hard squeeze. You resisted the urge to gag as the guy began coughing.

You had to remind yourself that this guy had literally been trying to kill one of your students before this. You shouldn’t feel too terrible but-

_ Yikes... _

Karma sat back, watching his victim writhe and roll in pain. The guy’s face was red, his eyes bloodshot and watering, aaaand-

There it was-

The gagging sounds of someone about to hurl.

“Get the hooks off him, Karma,” you said quickly.

Karma did as he was told, albeit, reluctantly. You rolled the dude on his side, letting him vomit.

“Sorry, buddy, you just… really didn’t pick the best kid to fight,” you said apologetically.

He gave you a baleful look and you reached into your bag, “Need some water?”

“Aw, you’re gonna help him?” Karma rolled his eyes, “You’re killin’ me over here, Doc.”

“What was it Korosensei literally just said? About respecting one’s enemy?” You helped the guy rinse his mouth and take a drink, “I’m not letting him loose. I’m just making sure you don’t kill somebody that you’re not  _ supposed  _ to.”

With a bit of help from the boys, you managed to move the guy out of the way, stashing him between two plants near the window. Karma gathered up his kit and pointed at his victim, “Let’s play again sometime, hm?”

The guy looked between him and you and shook his head.

Karma just laughed, “Ey! Terasaka! Heads up!” he tossed him the drawstring pouch.

Terasaka caught it looking unnerved and put it into his backpack, “Who walks around with this stuff in their bag? Ugh. Let’s get goin’. Keep draggin’ our feet and they’ll find us.”

“They’ll find  _ you _ , you big hulk.” despite being reined in, Karma was in excellent spirits.

“Aw, shut it!” Terasaka snapped back at him.

You shook your head as your group moved down the hall.

Nearly being killed, nearly killing a man, and they still quipped around like an average class of teenagers.

You had never quite felt _ this _ mixture of pride and worry before.

The observation deck continued in a semi-circle and when you reached the exit you found yourselves in another hall. Isogai and Karasuma led the group to the stairs. Floor six was next…

Ritsu suddenly piped up from Kayano’s phone, “Okay, everyone, the terrace is upstairs.”

Hayami paused, looking over at the screen, “The bar floor. Could be tricky.”

“Yes,” Ritsu agreed, “The VIP floor can be accessed via the staircase just off the lounge area. Unfortunately, the back entrance has a manual lock on it, so someone will need to detour around and through the bar to open it and let the others in.”

Megu made a face, “So, we’re flying by the seat of our pants.”

“We’re really going to stand out, you guys… a bar’s the last place we belong...” Isogai sounded worried.

The girls looked to one another for a moment, speaking quietly. 

Megu turned to the rest of the group, “Let’s have the teachers hide here. We’ll sneak into the lounge and unlock the back entrance. We girls won’t look suspicious alone in a place like this.”

“All of you are going to look suspicious.” you said, looking around at the kids, “You’re kids.”

“In a hotel full of the children of yakuza and CEOs.” Okano smirked, “Kind of the best cover really.”

“You girls really shouldn’t be going in there alone.” Karasuma’s voice was stern.

“I could maybe go with them as a chaperone?” you offered, looking over at him.

“No offense, Mx. Reader but,” Fuwa looked to you, “No kid in this place looks like the type to have a chaperone. If Mr. Karasuma was okay I’d suggest he come and pretend to be our bodyguard but...”

Ouch. Okay then.

You waved a hand, “I get it, I’m not ‘bodyguard material’. Okay, well-”

“How about a plan B?” Karma grinned, looking pointedly at Nagisa.

“Huh? What?” Nagisa faltered as all eyes came to rest on him.

“You’re the only one of us that could pass for a girl. So you can go with them as backup!” Karma smirked.

“What?! No way-” The boy cringed back from the suggestion and you winced.

Knowing his home life? You could understand why.

“That’s actually not a bad idea...” Karasuma said, speculatively, “Out of the class you’re one of the best in reading people. I think you’d be helpful in keeping the girls away from the more dangerous types...”

“Are you serious?” Nagisa sighed.

“Hey, now,” you spoke up, “Nagisa deserves a say in this too. Given what Sugaya can manage with his artistic skills I’m sure any one of you boys could pass for a girl with his help.”

Nagisa paused, staring at you in surprise.

“I mean… I could try?” Sugaya ventured, looking a bit unsure.

“No… it’s fine.” Nagisa pressed Korosensei into your hands, “I’ll do it.”

“Good.” Megu turned her attention to the girls, “Hayami, Fuwa, you two locate some clothes for him, yeah? He needs to look the part.”

The two nodded and slipped off down the hall. 

You turned to Nagisa, “Hey… while you’re in there…” pulling him aside, you spoke in a low voice, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

His eyes widened, just a touch, at your question and he gave a nod, “I’ll be okay. It’s for the mission… and for my friends. Uh… thanks… for asking though.”

You gave a nod.

Soon Hiyami and Fuwa returned with a bundle of clothing. Nagisa reluctantly ducked into a bathroom to change.

You paused, turning to Fuwa, “Where did you even  _ find _ clothes for him?”

Fuwa gave a grin, “You’d be surprised what people leave by the pool.”

Oh.

Okay.

_ Okay. _

Nagisa returned a few minutes later. He looked incredibly uncomfortable. Black thigh high stockings, a plaid skirt, an off the shoulder black top with a pink bow…

Jeez, Fuwa, could you have found him a princess gown and tiara while you were at it? You made a face. Poor Nagisa…

“You look adorable!” Megu chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah, okay, let’s go.” Nagisa insisted.

“Wait, hold on!” Kayano stepped up and pulled something out of her pocket. Reaching up, she tied a pair of pink ribbons in his hair, “Perfect.”

He sighed and passed his clothing off to Chiba, “Hold onto these for me?”

Chiba gave a nod.

“Before you go...” you looked over the group, “Be careful. Don’t accept drinks from strangers, stick together, don’t go anywhere alone, and keep an eye on one another. Straight to your target, okay?”

Megu and Hayami both gave a nod.

“And remember, children, don’t accept  _ anything _ from people you don’t know. Drinks aren’t the only things that can be drugged.” Korosensei added.

Karasuma sighed, “Keep a low profile.”

“Don’t worry. We’ve got this.” Fuwa smirked.

And with that, they vanished through the doors. The remainder of your group clustered by the back entrance, waiting.

“Man, who knew Nagisa could pull off that look so well?” Kimura looked over to the others.

“It’s not that hard for someone like him.” Karma shrugged, “He’s got the build for it. Probably won’t for much longer though. I bet in high school he’s going to shoot up like bamboo.”

You wanted to speak up but it was clear Nagisa wasn’t comfortable sharing his home life with the rest of the class yet. The best you could do was try to lessen the hassle they gave him…

“Reader?” you looked down to Korosensei in surprise, “They will do fine.”

You gave a nod.

Now… it was time to wait.

You took a moment to give Karasuma another once over. He was recovering from the poison but he was definitely still not steady on his feet. For the time being, it seemed best to let Isogai keep assisting him. 

He, of course, insisted he was fine.

When the doors finally opened, Fuwa popped through and waved for the lot of you to follow her. Your group paused again by another stairway. 

Korosensei spoke first, “That was some rather questionable territory you had to navigate. No one got handsy with you, I hope?”

Yada shook her head, “Nope.”

“We held our own.” Megu chuckled. 

“Yeah, no one but me,” Nagisa said with a sigh.

“What happened?” you looked between him and the girls.

“He got asked out,” Fuwa smirked.

“Yeah, uh… his name was Yuji. It didn’t look like he was going to leave us alone so I talked to him.”

“By yourself?” 

“I kept an eye on him.” Hayami said, “He was fine.”

“Then Yada was a total badass.” Megu smirked, “I think you might be the real Ikemen of the group.”

Yada went bright pink and shook her head, “It wasn’t that big of a deal!”

“You pretended your dad was with the yakuza and scared off those dudes!” Fuwa said, looking at her in surprise, “That was a pretty big deal!”

“Yeah, it was cool!” Kayano added.

Nagisa shifted his weight, looking uncomfortable.

Kayano looked over at him, “Nagisa? What’s wrong?”

“I feel so stupid. I mean let's face it you girls didn’t need me in there. I didn’t contribute anything. What was the point of me being in this getup?”

Karma grinned, holding up his phone and snapping a photo, “Comic relief, duh!”

Nagisa yelped, “Delete that immediately!”

Kayano reached out, touching his arm, “That’s not true, Nagisa. I know one person who seemed better off since you were there.”

Nagisa sighed, “I don’t know… I don’t think I made that much of a difference.”

“It’s okay, we had you for backup,” Yada said.

Nagisa gave her a nod, “I guess.” 

Taking his clothes from Chiba, he made a beeline for the nearest place he could find to change.

“Well, I’m just glad everyone is safe.” You said with a sigh.

“You gotta learn to relax, Mx. Reader!” Fuwa smirked, “We had everything under control.”

“I know but I still worry.” you made a face.

“Should I try to fight you again?” Okano grinned, “Maybe then you’ll remember we can handle ourselves.”

“No, no! That can wait until after all this is over!” you insisted.

She laughed, “You better be ready!”

“Oh, you got changed fast!” Kayano looked up as Nagisa returned..

He looked put out, “Not fast enough.”

“Let’s get moving,” Karasuma said, nodding to the hall.

The kids fell into step with him and Isogai glanced over at Nagisa, “Not gonna lie. That dress looked good on you. It’s a historical fact that assassins often posed as women..”

You remembered that texting conversation with Korosensei…

_ THERE ARE A LOT OF VALID REASONS AN ASSASSIN MIGHT NEED A WARDROBE CHANGE! _

You supposed he was right-

“Don’t you start, too, Isogai!” Nagisa protested.

Karma strolled up alongside him, “If you decide to go all the way and cut it off, Nagisa, sooner is better. You know, ‘cause hormones.”

“I’m NOT cutting it off! I happen to LIKE it!” Nagisa protested.

“Karma, knock it off,” you said.

“Why? You gonna make me, Doc? You already took away my fun before.” he smirked.

You huffed, “You had your fun and Nagisa clearly doesn’t like this conversation.”

“I mean, pre-surgery jitters are no joke-” Karma drawled.

“KARMA!” you snapped.

There was a brief moment of surprise on the redhead’s face. 

Karasuma spoke up, “Can we talk about this later?”

“Or never?” Nagisa muttered.

“This is supposed to be a stealth mission.” Karasuma gave you a look.

“Sorry...”

“We’re in the final stage of infiltration here. Ritsu?” Karasuma looked over to the phone Isogai was holding.

Ritsu’s voice chimed out from the device, “Yes, sir. Up ahead is the VIP floor. The guests here don’t rely solely on hotel security, though. They make it a point of bringing their own.”

As you reached the end of the hall, your group clustered by the corner, taking turns peeking ahead. Halfway down the corridor was a staircase with two burly looking men standing to either side of it.

“So that’s why there’s guards in front of the stairs to the next floor.” Sugaya sighed.

“They look way tough, too.” Okano leaned around his shoulder.

“You think they’re in league with our target or hired muscle that has nothing to do with us?” Yada asked, looking to Karasuma.

“Who cares?” Terasaka cracked his knuckles, “Either way, we’re gonna have to beat ‘em to get by.”

“Excellent point, Terasaka.” , Korosensei spoke, “And to that end, the weapon you’re hiding in your backpack will more than suffice.”

“Pft! What, you got x-ray vision now, too?” Terasaka snarked, kneeling down and digging in his backpack.

“You’ll have to take them both down at once, or they’ll call for help,” Karasuma spoke over his shoulder. 

“Leave it to me.” Terasaka looked up, “Kimura, help me out. They won’t think you’re an enemy if you go alone. Go out there and lure them this way.”

Kimura stared at him in surprise, “Who, me? But how?”

“How should I know? Piss them off or something!” Terasaka huffed.

Karma approached the boy with a grin, “I’ve got a good idea if you’re not a wuss…” he leaned in, whispering into Kimura’s ear.

With how Karma had been during this mission you were worried to see how this would turn out.

Kimura didn’t look confident in the slightest but sighed, “Fine...”

He headed around the corner and down the hall. Terasaka and Yoshida moved forward to the corner, waiting.

You heard a gravelly voice that you could only assume belonged to one of the guards, “What’s up, kid?”

“Hey uh, where are the guys with the brains around here? All I see are a pair of muscle heads.” Kimura spoke up, “You slabs of pigmeat oughta quit pretending to be human! Somebody really ought to call animal control. Sheesh!”

The sound of sneakers on tile and angry yelling approached. Kimura bolted past the hall you were hiding in.

“Now, Yoshida!” Terasaka yelled.

“Right behind ya!”

The pair surged forward into the hall and you heard the sound of two people falling heavily to the floor. It was followed immediately after by the distinctive clicking of-

“Stun guns?!” Nagisa exclaimed as the rest of your group rounded the corner.

“I bought ‘em to see if they’d be any good against the octopus… Never thought I’d be usin’ ‘em like this!” Terasaka said, looking back at the lot of you. He had an unconscious body of a guard pinned beneath him.

“You  _ bought _ those?” Megu said in surprise, “Those things cost a fortune! How’d you afford it?”

“Huh? Uh, well…” Terasaka shrugged, “I came into some money. Odd jobs, mostly. Nothin’ special.”

“Expertly done, Terasaka. And, while it is a nice weapon, I believe if you check our K.O.ed friends’ pocket you may find something even better.” Korosensei spoke, eyes narrowing.

“Huh?” Terasaka began to pat down the guard and paused, looking at the group with surprise.

From the guard’s jacket, he withdrew a pair of pistols.

Korosensei’s voice was smooth and calculated, “With a bit of due diligence and one can find the most useful of items on such gentlemen.”

Real guns. Live ammunition. What would-

“Chiba? Hayami?” The pair looked to him in surprise, “I think you two should be the ones to have them. Mr. Karasuma hasn’t recovered enough to fire with any accuracy. The reality of our situation is this: you two are our best sharpshooters.” 

“This… it’s kind of sudden… you can’t expect us to-” Chiba’s voice carried a clear note of uncertainty and you recalled him asking Ritsu about the recording…

_ I knew the second I fired that I’d missed. _

“That said. I’ll allow no killing. That I won’t. Do not underestimate your skills. In the right hands, a firearm is all the more impressive for not causing injury. Shall we proceed, children? If our experience thus far is anything to go on, the enemy’s presence here is relatively modest. By even the most conservative estimate, we’ve thinned their ranks by half.”

“Yeah! So let’s go beat the crap outta whoever he’s got left and find out who the sick creep is who came up with this plan!” Terasaka said, clearly ready to go.

“Okay, team: We’ll have to use the VIP only emergency stairs to reach the next floor up. And to do that, we’ll have to go through the concert hall on the 8th floor. It should be empty but it would be best to move quickly and quietly just in case.” Ritsu chirped.

As you made your way up to the VIP floors you took stock of things.

Your class had taken down two assassins and two guards.

Your fellow coworkers were still out of commission.

You had acquired two guns and two stun guns.

You had no idea what was up ahead but you were starting to feel that your group might just make it through this after all…

Clutching the bag containing Korosensei a bit closer, you ascended the stairs.


	71. Weapon of Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

“Now, we may run into trouble. A concert hall is an unconventional battlefield but I am almost certain we’ll be at risk for ambush in there. Reader, if you would, pass me over to Sugaya?” Korosensei requested.

You complied, confused as the boy and the orb began to hold a quiet discussion. You moved over to Karasuma, “How are you doing?”

“Still not great but the tremors stopped at least.” he said, flexing a hand, “Not very confident on my feet.”

You nodded, “Okay, well, at least we’re seeing improvement. Breathing okay still?”

He nodded, “I’m fine.”

A few moments later, Sugaya returned the bag containing the octopus to you. You noticed the boy was carrying something folded over one arm. 

You looked down at Korosensei, “What was that about?”

“Just making some preparations...”

“What sort of preparations?” you held him up, looking at him.

“Preparations for the event of ambush.”

“We need to get moving.” Karasuma said, “We’re on a time limit still.”

You sighed, not content with the answers you’d gotten, but you followed all the same.

The concert hall was dark as you moved into it. Your group began to make their way along the back of the wall when Karasuma hissed, “Stop.”

Footsteps.

Not any of yours.

Footsteps from the _stage_.

“Take cover.” Karasuma’s command was quick and quiet.

From your hands, Korosensei spoke, “Reader, it’s time we put you to use. I need you to sneak me down to the front row as quietly as possible.”

“What?” you looked down at him in surprise, “Me?”

“If you can sneak up on me than I have absolute confidence that you can get down there without notice.”

You had no idea why he wanted to be in the front row but you quickly made your way down, keeping low and trying to stay on the further side from where the footsteps were sounding. You ducked behind the front row and were surprised to find Karasuma in the row just behind you. He looked at you in confusion and you just pointed to the octopus ball in your hands with a shrug.

“Perfect.” Korosensei whispered, “Now, drop me into the seat in front of you.”

“What?”

“Quickly!”

You huffed and reached up, carefully dropping him down.

The footsteps became louder and then you heard a voice, “Fourteen-no, fifteen of them. Judging by their breathing, they’re young, most in their mid-teens. Sounds like two adults too. Who’da thunk it? Everyone who could still move actually made it here.” there was a gunshot and the sparkling shatter of glass hitting the stage, “FYI, this room is completely soundproof. I’ll have shot you all dead before anyone comes to save you. You know you’re not prepared to kill anyone! Now come on out like good little children and we’ll go see the boss-”

Another gunshot, this one sounded like it came from behind you…

One of the kids then…

Suddenly the stage lights came up, bright and blinding.

“Excellent. Finally, a job I can sink my teeth into!” he cackled and you heard another gunshot from the stage, “I never forget the position of an enemy once they’ve fired. Acquired that trick in the army. Think of it as battlefield synesthesia. I can echo-locate the source of hostile gunfire with pinpoint accuracy and check my own gun by taste. You already met our master assassins but being ex-military makes me different. I’ve been outnumbered in battle more times than I can count. End result? You’re not going to be able to move a single step from your hiding place without me knowing. Now, then… there should be one more stolen gun out there."

Suddenly, from the seat in front of you Korosensei’s voice rang out, “Standby, Hayami! Hold your position! Wise decision not to fire, Chiba. Well played. Our opponent doesn’t have a lock on you yet. Hang tight and wait for my signal. I’ll keep an eye on him and tell you when it’s time to shoot.”

“Where is that coming from…?”

You heard Korosensei chuckle and flattened yourself to the floor at the sound of gunfire striking in front of you. It sounded like it was ricocheting-

“HEY! You in the front row! Don’t stare at me!”

It was ricocheting off of the octopus.

Of course it was.

“Nurufufufu~” he sounded positively delighted at this situation, “A seasoned marksman versus adolescent assassins. Our modest advantage will, I think, be quite enough. I’ll be their eyes of course. I’m sure you don’t object to a little handicap do you?”

“How the hell are you going to lead these kids like that?” the guy countered.

“Okay Kimura! Run five seats to your left! Terasaka and Yoshida! Dash three seats to either side!”

Was he-

“We’ve made a blind spot. Kayano, two rows forward into the gap quickly, while he’s distracted!”

You peeked between the seats seeing the gaunt form of the gunman on stage, looking this way and that, trying to keep track of the movement between the seats.

He was having the kids confuse this guy...

“Karma and Fuwa, move eight seats right! Isogai! Five seats left!”

You gave a quick glance back at Karasuma who looked as stunned as you were by the whole thing.

“Alternate naming scheme: Student Twelve! Move right and continue prepping!”

Twelve… 

Role call. Sugaya.

That clever son of a-

“Students four and six train your camera on the target from between the seats! Use Ritsu to keep Chiba apprised of the enemy’s movements onstage!”

Okano… Megu...

“Ponytail, shift position to the front-left! Motorcycle Fan, you as well: two seats down!”

Yada… Yoshida...

“The student who out of curiosity went to Takebayashi’s top maid cafe and was alarmed to find he liked it, discombobulate the target by kicking up a racket!”

Who-

“SHADDUP! THAT’S NOBODY’S BUSINESS BUT MINE! HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN KNOW I WENT?!”

T-Terasaka…

Okay then.

“Crane! Crow!” You faltered, surprised.

Did he mean-

“Be ready to support the children should the need arise. We might have to get hands on.”

Well that was definitely you and Karasum-

Ha.

 _Karasu_.

Crow.

You glanced at Karasuma. How the hell was he going to get hands on with anything? The man could barely walk…

“Now… time for you to take the shot, Chiba! When I give the command, fire at will! Hayami, your job is to support him. Focus on blocking the enemy’s evasive maneuvers. But, first, here’s a word of advice for our cool-headed sharpshooters…” his tone gentled, “I can tell the two of you are pretty nervous. You failed to hit me during your assassination attempt and you’ve lost confidence in your skills. Don’t let one failure overshadow the skills you’ve worked so hard to cultivate. The best of us fall short of our abilities from time to time. You maintain a facade of stoic nonchalance, but feel burdened by the confidence your classmates place in you all the same. Few guess at your inner anguish, but it’s there just beneath the surface. But don’t worry, there's no need for you to take all the pressure on yourself. If you miss the shot, there’s a fallback strategy. We’ll play hot potato with the gun and continue shuffling everyone until our foe has no idea where the next shot will come from. That kind of coordination is only possible because everyone here has been training hard and suffered failure in the past. You have allies at your side who share your experience. Don’t worry about a thing. Just pull the trigger on my signal.”

You crouched, waiting with bated breath.

“Okey-dokey! Here we go!” Korosensei announced, “Student Twelve! Stand and fire, now!”

Student Twelve? Sugaya wasn’t-

A gunshot from the stage and the sound of a bullet striking something soft-

Oh god?

“A DECOY?” the gunman yelled in surprise.

Another gunshot, this one from the back. You peeked through the seats. The man turned, chuckling, “Nice shootin there, son. Too bad.” he brought his gun around to aim towards the back, “Now I know where-”

With a creak and a rush, the stage lights swung down, knocking into him bodily. He staggered, “Damn it all!”

He raised his gun.

Another shot and it had been knocked from his hand where it skittered across the stage. The marksman took a step before collapsing.

You couldn’t blame him, those stage lights had to have hurt…

“All right! Tag ‘em and bag ‘em!” Terasaka called, racing up to the stage. He was followed closely by his classmates. You got to your feet to see Sugaya who had a makeshift cloth dummy hoisted over his shoulder, he sighed, “I’ll just make a scarecrow in total silence. No biiiiiig…” 

Karasuma stood shakily, leaning on the seat in front of him. You reached over, picking up Korosensei carefully. The bag was pretty well shredded by this point.

“That was a real white-knuckle fight.” Karasuma said, looking at him, “You really had me worried there for a second. I can’t believe you had them participate in such a dangerous battle. But I’m impressed they held it together.”

Korosensei spoke, “There are several opportunities in a person’s life when they can break out of their shells and grow. They just have to move out of their comfort zone. But we can’t often do so on our own. They need tough foes who challenge their complacency and allies with whom to share their experiences. That, you see, is precisely why I became a teacher. To spark potential. I want to offer my students formidable foes and good friends so I won’t miss out on the chance to watch them grow.”

You looked over at the group, feeling a sense of pride. 

Karasuma gave a nod, “End of the day, though, we still have to remember that they’re children…”

“But they are growing up really fast…” you sighed, shaking your head.

The kids looked way more relaxed about the whole scenario than you were for sure...

After some time was spent collecting the children and convincing Karma that no, you did not have time for him to ‘get creative’ with your new captive you were on your way.

As you rounded the corner of a hall, Nagisa paused, “We’ve got a guard ahead…”

You turned to look at Terasaka, “You still have the stun guns ri-” 

Your thought was interrupted by a voice, “Hey! What are you doing down there?”

Spotted. The guard was advancing on you and the boy quickly. So, you did the first thing that came to mind…

You swung the bag in your hand, slamming one indestructible octopus ball into the guy’s temple.

He staggered, confused and was immediately tackled by Terasaka. Yoshida joined him, pulling out the tape to tie the guard up,

“Seriously?” Yoshida laughed, “That’s your weapon of choice?”

You made a face.

“That was some quick thinking.” Korosensei said, sounding a little disoriented.

You looked down at him, he was a bit deflated, “Sorry…”

“Not to worry, I’ll be fine.” he called to the boys, “Don’t forget to search him.”

Nagisa leaned around the corner, surveying the stairs ahead, “That’ll lead us to the top floor, right?”

“Yeah...” Kayano responded.

“We’re seriously coming down to the wire here, guys…” Isogai fretted.

“Hey everyone!” it was the chirpy voice of Ritsu.

You pulled out your phone.

“I hacked into the webcam of the computer on the top floor and got an image of the space!”

What you saw in the feed was a large room, possibly a lounge of some sort. An executive style desk took up space along the far wall and a man was sitting there partially obscured by cigarette smoke. His focus was taken up by a monitor in front of him.

“This man appears to be the only person there.” Ritsu said.

The image zoomed in. Thanks to the smoke and the high back of his chair you couldn’t see his face but on the screen-

“That’s Okajima and Nakamura!” Yoshida snapped, “That sick fuck is watching everyone who’s back at the resort!”

“Probably getting off on it.” Terasaka growled.

“Children! It occurs to me the mastermind waiting for us above is not attuned to his resources. In fact, thus far his hired hands have been egregiously misused. Lookouts? Glorified bouncers? This isn’t how one employs assassins. If our foe had aligned the men we’ve encountered with their skill set, they’d have been fearsome indeed. Which means the man in charge is not an assassin himself.”

You looked down at him in surprise.

“He originally hired the assassins to kill me. But because I ended up like this he must have instead decided to have them take over his defense and patrol the hotel as there was no need for them to be on the alert to assassinate me. But that's no job for _professional assassins_. Their abilities are frightful when used to their full potential.”

Chiba spoke up, “You've got a point… we managed to outsmart the gunman thanks to your plan but he wasn’t even a centimeter off from the target he aimed at…”

Korosensei turned his attention to Karma, “And consider Karma’s opponent. Normally, the man would’ve simply snuck up behind him and crushed his windpipe before we even knew of his existence.”

“No doubt, sure.” Karma’s voice was all laid back and relaxed, as though he weren’t discussing the possibility of his own death. 

“Having such a man wait for you out in the open is folly.” Korosensei continued.

“All right, we don't have much time. He’ll be expecting us to come via the elevator and he’s going to get suspicious if he doesn’t hear from us within the time limit.” Karasuma was still shaky, but he put his weight on the wall, bringing himself up to his full height, “First off: Isogai, Terasaka, Yoshida, I want the three of you to be on the front lines for this. Kaede, Nagisa, I want you to bring up the rear. We’re in the final phase of this infiltration so-”

Your attention was pulled away by a soft exclamation from Nagisa, you turned your attention to him to see Terasaka standing his hand over the boy’s mouth. As you approached he jerked away and looked at you, a trace of guilt on his features and sweat standing out on his brow. 

“What’s going on?” you were careful to keep your voice low as Karasuma was still briefing the group.

“Nothin’” Terasaka was quick to respond, he glanced sidelong at Nagisa.

The smaller boy looked torn. Something was definitely up.

“Don’t blow smoke up my ass, not right now. We’re in the middle of something dangerous and the more you keep secret the more you put everyone else around you at risk.” you gave them both a look.

“They’re correct,” Korosensei’s voice was smooth from your hands, “If something is wrong you should speak up.”

“Terasaka is sick.” Nagisa blurted.

The other boy looked at him with irritation, “I’m fine, I’ve got stamina to spare. I just need time to get over it!”

“But the virus is deadly!” Nagisa insisted, looking at him with concern.

Terasaka looked between him, you, and the octopus, “Mr. Karasuma almost died because of me. If I hadn’t been an idiot, he wouldn’t have gotten gassed. And that’s not the first crap I’ve pulled that nearly cost everyone their lives. Like hell am I going to drop out now and let everyone down again.”

“That is your choice, Terasaka.” Korosensei’s voice was soft, concerned, “But the others need to know. You have set yourself, as in the case with Itona’s attack, as a tool to be used by others. If that is the role that you wish to cast yourself in then you should consider the consequences of keeping this information to yourself. It would be akin to handing an assassin an unsharpened blade.”

Terasaka made a face, clearly at war with himself.

“You can still help,” you told him gently, “But I think what Korosensei is getting at is that if they don’t know you’re weakened and give you something outside of your current capability then you could let everyone down without meaning to.”

“I don’t like feelin’ useless.” he snapped.

“You’re not though.” Nagisa was staring at him in surprise, “Without you we wouldn’t have gotten past those guards earlier.”

“You don’t have to stay behind,” Korosensei continued, “But to move forward the others need to know your situation.” 

For a moment you saw a flash of pain across the boy’s face. You’d seen that look before… under an oak tree up on the mountain.

 _I didn’t_ **_ASK_ ** _to be signed up for this. None of us did._ **_You’re adults. You’re_ ** _supposed to be the ones dealing with this crap, not_ **_us_ ** _._

“You’re trying to step up,” you said to him softly, putting a hand on his shoulder, “We know that. And you have helped. I know it doesn’t feel like enough. But we’re not done here yet. I won’t let Karasuma bench you so long as you can keep on your feet, okay?”

He seemed surprised by that offer but relaxed a bit, “Thanks, Doc…”

“What’s going on?” Karasuma joined you, supported by Isogai.

“Terasaka has the same illness as the others but his symptoms were delayed.” you said, looking to him, “He’s going to continue to help with the mission.”

“What? How are-” Karasuma looked at him but you held up a hand.

“This isn’t up for debate. He wants to keep going. I told him so long as he can stay on his feet then he can.” you paused, looking Karasuma over, “I’m sure you can understand.”

He sighed, defeated, “Alright, fine. But be careful.”

Terasaka nodded firmly, “Don’t worry about me, Mr. K.”

“Alright…” Karasuma looked to the rest of the group, “We’re heading into enemy territory. Two of your superiors are out of commission and one of your teammates is ill.”

The other kids looked around in surprise and Karasuma jerked his head in Terasaka’s direction.

“What?!” Yoshida looked at him in alarm.

“Don’t fuckin’ go all nursemaid on me.” Terasaka snapped, “Let’s just kick this guy’s ass and get the antidote.”

Yoshida paused but then gave a nod, “Y-Yeah.”

“By the way,” Terasaka held up a plastic card, “Dude had this on him...”

“A keycard. Excellent.” Korosensei said, “That should make our entry easier.”

Karasuma nodded and turned to Chiba and Hayami, “You two still have your firearms ready?”

The pair nodded.

“Well… no killing, but you might have to shoot at a live target. There's a chance we may need to incapacitate our enemy with a leg or arm shot. I hate to ask it of you but do you think you can manage that?” He leveled his gaze at them.

The pair looked at one another and gave a nod.

“Good.” Karasuma sighed, “Okay, revised plan,” he looped his arm around your shoulders and you supported him, “Isogai, Terasaka, Yoshida, take point. Chiba and Hayami, just behind them. Nagisa, Kaede, follow up the rear, keep an eye out.”

The group nodded.

“From here out we’ll be using nanba. You remember this from class.” he looked around at the group.

There were nods. 

“Nanba...” Korosensei chuckled, “Clever. That certainly explains why the children have been exceptionally quiet when sneaking up on me at the school.”

“That’s the whole… walking style thing you went over with me yeah?” you looked to Karasuma.

“Yes.”

“It’s a fascinating method for walking. Not only does it avoid excess movement and noise, but did you know it’s more efficient on energy consumption and causes less stress on the knee joint?” Korosensei piped up.

You shook your head, “Had no idea.”

“Oh, yes.” he chuckled, “Perhaps when this is over, we can discuss it further.”

“Let’s get going.” Karasuma nodded to Isogai. 

As Isogai, Terasaka, and Yoshida took point up the stairs, all you could wonder was what sort of asshole was waiting for you at the top…


	72. Which Are Worthy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come.

The top floor was quiet, empty. Your group walked silently through the lavish surroundings, following the hand signs from both Isogai and Karasuma. You moved into the room shown on Ritus’ screen. Tiled floors, lush couches, a desk, fireplace. The room was themed in warm golds and reds. And straight ahead, was the high backed chair that contained your opponent. Next to him was a silver case with what you could only assume, were plastic explosives stuck to its side. The only sound came from the quiet whirring of computers and the hushed flow of air from the ventilation system.

It felt like the building itself was holding its breath for you. 

The kids looked to Karasuma who signaled.

Approach. Surprise. Ambush.

Shoot if he goes for the detonator.

Heart in your throat, you watched as-

“Ugh. This itch.” your blood chilled. You knew that voice. “The very _memory_ makes me itch. It burns no matter what I do. But maybe that’s why my senses have grown so much keener: After all, one man’s sensitivity is another man’s hyper-vigilance. Makes me feel wired to my surroundings.” he flung a hand up, detonators scattering across the floor, “You didn’t think this’d be easy, did you? I told you I’d find a way to wipe the octopus off the face of the Earth. I know he moves at Mach 20. So I planned ahead to have as many detonators as possible in case one was snatched away at high speed. I have enough on hand to press any one of them if I happen to collapse.”

The last time you heard that voice you'd been laying in the dirt, bloodied.

“Before this trip, the ministry made inquiries into three assassins… and one colleague. We didn’t get responses from any of them.” Karasuma spoke, still leaning on you, “That colleague happened to vanish around the same time as a huge portion of the ministry’s fund for this assassination did. So… What is the meaning of this, _Takaoka?_ ”

The chair turned with a squeak and there he was.

 _Takaoka_.

He certainly didn’t look like the jovial self he’d portrayed before. He was more fit, clad in military pants, a black shirt, boots, and a blazer. But the distinguishing feature of his change was in his face. Long angry red scars were present in raking patterns down his cheeks. They were peppered with bright red streaks of freshly torn skin. He was smiling uncomfortably wide. On the octopus it was charming. On him? A horror show.

What the hell had happened to him?

“What naughty children! Trying to sneak up on dear ol’ dad.” he rose to his feet, “You disappoint me. I thought I raised you better than that. I know some boys and girls that are going to have to go to summer school.”

Nagisa had made his way to the front, “Mr. Takaoka…?”

You saw a hint of a sneer mar the sadistic smile on Takaoka’s face as he spotted the boy. Picking up the case, he smirked, “Let's head up to the roof, huh? Daddy’s got a little surprise up there you're bound to get a kick out of." He looked over his shoulder at the group, "You’ll come with, right? After all, your classmates are only alive because daddy’s feeling _generous_.”

The children looked to Karasuma for instructions. He gave a nod and slowly, you and the children began your ascent to the roof.

The door swung open before him, wind buffeted everyone as you stepped out onto the concrete of the roof. Dark clouds scuttled across a navy sky. The sounds of the wind, your footsteps, and the clinking of the flags flying in the breeze surrounded you.

Takaoka made a beeline for the helipad and your team dutifully followed. He paused at the metal stairway leading to the landing point. As you approached, Karasuma spoke, his voice almost a snarl, “Hiring assassins, infecting students with a biological weapon. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you out of your mind?” 

Takaoka turned, his fixed smile more uncanny in the eerie green lighting of the roof, “Strong words there friend. I assure you I’m perfectly sane. Though, I suspect world-saviors are often thought of as mad. Make no mistake. My plan will save the world. If you had done as I instructed and had the runts of the litter bring the goods on their own, my assassination plot would be well underway by now. I’d plan to use what’s-her-name. Kayano?" 

The girl flinched as he said her name.

"The girl, yeah. She’s the linchpin. The bathtub in my suite here is overflowing with anti-sensei bbs. I’m gonna set her up in there with that monster then entomb the whole setup in concrete. _Buried alive_."

There were sounds of disgust from the kids. Kayano went white as a sheet. You reached out with your free hand, clasping hers. Her grip was so intense that it hurt.

"The only way for the octopus to return to his normal form without touching the bbs will be to blow everything sky-high, including his student.” the bottom of your stomach dropped out at that, “We all know kind, student coddling Korosensei would never do such an inhuman thing to the children in his care! So, I figure, under the circumstances, he’ll take the honorable way out and opt to dissolve in lieu of killing one of his students!”

What the fuck? You knew he was fucked up but what was he thinking? Did he think he'd be a hero if he murdered a kid-

Suddenly your arms went numb as you remembered a conversation with Karasuma…

_The government sees it as a reasonable solution. Sure, one child's life is being altered but if it will keep the planet from being destroyed then it's worth it._

Of course, Takaoka felt justified…

The contract stated that _Korosensei_ couldn't harm the kids… it gave them no protection from anyone _else_ …

“He's a monster," You heard Kimura whisper.

Takaoka smirked, "I won’t lie, it gave Daddy quite a fright when he saw you’d all come en masse. Doesn’t change things much. It’s still up to me to decide how many of you survive."

Korosensei spoke from your hands, his voice dark, with an edge like a blade, “Do you really think your behavior is forgivable?"

Takaoka suddenly launched into screaming, "My way’s far more humane than the treatment I got from your class! Now, every time I catch people lookin’ at me sideways… Every time I think of how you bluffed me with my own knife, my skin itches so badly I can’t sleep through the night! I hope you’re proud boys and girls because you’ve condemned daddy to hell! Negative evaluations, demotions, gossip. You have no idea what it’s like! My future is gone. So I’m going to pay back my bad evaluations with results. I’ll take the humiliation I suffered and give it back in spades! Especially on you, Nagisa. You must answer for the grave injustice done to my reputation!”

Chiba’s voice was heavy, “I get it, he asked for the shortest students to come because he was after Nagisa and Kayano…”

You were seething, your body practically humming with anger. If he wasn’t literally holding the lives of the class in his hands you would have already launched yourself at him.

Instead all you could do was stand there, supporting Karasuma and trembling with barely contained rage.

“Nagisa had every right to do what he did to you!” Yoshida snapped.

Karma stepped forward, his usual dry smile in place. His eyes, however, were hard, “Hm, I see. So this actually has a lot more to do with you settling a score than anyone saving the world. Think about it. Is beating up a kid gonna repair your self-esteem? Wouldn't someone my size be more interesting?”

You paused, looking at Karma in surprise. That was… quite the offer from someone who had been joking around about Nagisa cutting his dick off not even fifteen minutes ago...

Terasaka bullied his way forward, sweat standing out on his brow and voice raging, “Look, you _crazy son of a bitch_. Nagisa kicked your ass by your own rules, so you’ve got no one to blame but yourself! And here’s the deal. Even if you’d won we’d still hate your guts! Nothin you could’ve done would’ve changed our minds!”

Veins stood out on Terasaka’s temples and neck, spittle flying as he screamed, “I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING FOR YOUR OPINIONS! DON'T FORGET, I'M THE GUY THAT CAN TAKE HALF OF YOU OUT RIGHT NOW WITH THE PUSH OF A BUTTON!” he calmed himself, panting for a moment before sharpening his gaze at Nagisa, “You, Shrimp. Let’s go up to the heliport. Just you and me.”

Kayano let go of your hand suddenly, you felt the blood rush back into your numb fingers, “Don’t do it, Nagisa! You don't have to listen to him!”

“I don’t want to… but I will.” Nagisa looked back at her.

Takaoka screamed in the background, “Get a move on! NOW!”

“I'm afraid what’ll happen if I don’t do what he says.” Nagisa sounded surprisingly calm, he looked over the group, “I'll hear him out, talk him down, and get him to hand over the remedy in one piece.”

All of your instincts screamed to take his place, run up there for him. But there were so many things about that thought that made it a bad idea.

“Nagisa…” you said softly.

The boy paused, looking your way. There was something in his expression. You’d seen it before, the last time he’d taken on Takaoka. A fierce sort of resolve. 

_What is the point of being a teacher if we do it for them?_

Trust them, Reader…

God, you hated this. This anger, this anxiety, this…

You thought of Terasaka.

_I don’t like feelin’ useless._

This helplessness...

“Are you sure about this?”

Nagisa gave you an awkward smile, “Not really, but I have to try, right?”

“Please be careful, Nagisa.” Karasuma said. His voice held a note of concern you didn’t hear often.

From the ball in your hands you heard the softest sound of concern.

Tears began to blur your vision.

_Helplessness..._

Kayano stood, hands clasped together, watching as the boy made his way up the stairs.

Karasuma nodded to another stairway and you lead the way with him up to a platform. From here, there was a bridge connecting to the heliport.

Good…

There would be a way to reach Nagisa should things go sideways.

On the landing pad Takaoka stood beside the suitcase. A single knife lay a few meters ahead of him. Nagisa stepped up, looking down for a moment at the blade by his feet.

Movement.

Takaoka lifted a hand. Karasuma instantly turned, “Chiba! Hayami!”

The pair took aim and Takaoka called out sharply, “Stay right where you are.” there was a pause and he chuckled, “Really, Karasuma? Gonna have the children shoot me now, are you? And you think I’m heartless…” 

Karasuma glanced between him and the snipers.

“No… no… you see, I simply don’t want anything interrupting my precious alone time with Nagisa!” With a grin, he flourished a detonator, pushing the button.

The walkway to the helipad, your only route to Nagisa, exploded.

The shockwave was intense but your distance was safe enough from shrapnel, thankfully.

“There we go…” the man called above the sound of the breeze, “No one else can come up here. Now it's just you and me, kiddo. I’m sure you understand why that knife is at your feet. It’s time for a rematch. I’ve waited a long time to get this revenge…”

“Wait, Mr. Takaoka…” Nagisa’s voice was clear, “I didn’t come here to fight.”

“Course not. You don't have the element of surprise on your side this time. There’s not a thing up your sleeve to keep me from killing you.” he chuckled, “Thing is, it’d be over too fast if I went at you full bore right off the bat. I want to savor this, so here’s what I need from you before we go head to head.”

Nagisa looked unsure, watching him.

“Get on your hands and knees… And apologize. Say you’re sorry for pulling a cheap trick. Admit you relied on the ol’ bait-and-switch to cover your lack of skill.”

The boy took a breath and then carefully sank to his knees, “I’m sorry-”

Takaoka stomped his foot loudly against the ground, screaming, “THAT'S NOT YOUR HANDS AND KNEES! HEAD ON THE GROUND, BOY!”

You flinched.

Nagisa slowly bent forward, touching his forehead to the ground.

“I’m sorry for pulling a cheap trick on you. I have no real skills and resorted to that to win. I’m very sorry.”

Takaoka smirked, crossing his arms, “Not bad. Now apologize for asking me to hit the road afterwards. Good gracious, the audacity!” The man lifted his foot and pressed the sole of his boot to Nagisa’s head, “Is that any way for a student to talk to his _teacher?_ For that matter, _is that any way to talk to your father?_ All the trouble I went through for you brats, and that’s how you treat me? I’m entitled to _respect_ for the sacrifices I made!”

Nagisa replied, his voice calm and clear, “It was wrong for me to speak to you that way. You deserve respect. I behaved like a cocky brat. I am truly, deeply sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I was wrong.”

You stomach twisted.

With everything this boy dealt with at home, to see him dealing with this so calmly somehow made it so much worse.

What had he been through that made him put on such a calm face?

There was a moment’s pause and then Takaoka laughed, “See, _now_ you’re speaking from the heart. Daddy feels much better. As a reward, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I asked Smog what happens to the people who die from that virus. It’s a riot! Their bodies are covered in boils and their faces bloat up like bunches of grapes!” as he spoke he casually picked up the case, then, with a grin he happily asked, “Wouldn’t you like to see that, Nagisa?”

And flung the case skyward…

“NO!” Karasuma pushed away from you, staggering forward. Nagisa leapt forward to stop the unstoppable. The world moved in slow motion. The silver case arced upward…

And exploded.

The fireball consumed the case, shrapnel of glass and metal rained down on the helipad below. Takaoka and Nagisa were both cut, bleeding, but neither of them were paying attention to it.

Their eyes were trained on one another.

Takaoka began to cackle, “YES! _That’s_ the face I wanted to see! You ought to put it in your diary this summer all about how your friends’ faces bubbled up like grapes before they died!”

Nagisa turned, casting a heartbroken glance at Terasaka who had gone pale.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

You didn’t even realize you’d screamed it until Takaoka turned his gaze to you, all smiles.

“Ha! Cute. Still trying to butt in on my lessons?” he chuckled, “Maybe I’ll get creative up here and you’ll _really_ get to see someone gutted like a fish…”

His gaze drifted back to Nagisa and-

The boy had picked up the knife and was rising to his feet, his voice was a dark mimicry of Takaoka’s,

“I’d _love_ to see you try.”

Takaoka’s grin split wide in laughter, “That’s more like it… You know, kiddo, you’re really the lucky one here… after all… I made sure you didn’t get dosed. You could even say I saved your life.”

“Oh dear…” Korosensei said softly.

Nagisa was standing confidently, knife forward, stance steadying, “I’ll _kill_ you!”

“That’s the spirit boy! That’s what I wanted to see!” Takaoka seemed positively delighted about being threatened.

“Nagisa’s snapped.” Megu said softly.

“I’d like to kill that bastard too! I mean, we all do, but Nagisa might just go through with it...” Yoshida was supporting Terasaka who was looking a touch unsteady in the wake of Takaoka’s bullshit.

Isogai had stepped up to support Karasuma who was wobbling, unsteady, his eyes transfixed on the two combatants on the helipad.

“Nagisa! You have to stop-.” Korosensei’s warning was cut off by something flying through the air and slamming into the back of Nagisa’s head.

Something thrown from your side…

Terasaka had shrugged off Yoshida and thrown something.

“GET OVER YOURSELF, DUMBASS! I saw the pitiful way you looked at me when that medicine got blown up! Quit worryin’ about other people, ya damn wimp! Focus on you! This virus’ll go away by itself with a good night’s sleep! I’ll be fine! Murder’s still murder, even with a piece of shit like this evil son of a bitch! He’s not worth it! You gonna give in to the crazy and throw your chance at ten billion out the window?! Give in and you’re no better than him!”

“He’s absolutely right, Nagisa!” you held up Korosensei as he spoke, “Killing this man won’t solve anything. Blind rage is not a moral guide! It will only work against you. Besides, he doesn’t know anything about the remedy. We need only consult the poisoner downstairs.” you winced, remembering the guy’s words.

_Takes near a month ‘n by the time it’s ready they’d be dead. I'm afraid you'll have to play ball…_

“Just render him unconscious; that will be enough.” Korosensei continued.

You took a breath and called up to Nagisa, “Remember what Korosensei said to Chiba and Hayami!”

Nagisa’s eyes turned towards you and the others for a moment.

“You’re not alone! There is always a fallback strategy!”

“Precisely.” Korosensei agreed.

“Shut your damn mouths!” Takaoka called across to you, “You’re taking all the fun out of everything! Unless he comes at me with a real intent to kill, what’s the point? He’s gotta try. I mean really try. Then I get to destroy him. That’s the only way for me to erase my shame!”

“Nagisa, please. Take up Terasaka’s stun-gun.” Korosensei’s voice came out as a command more than a plea, “Heed the words a friend before you give credence to an enemy. Resist your anger. Weigh your options. His life and my life. His words and Terasaka’s words. Think carefully, now: Which are worthy?”

You heard a stumble and when you turned to look Terasaka and collapsed. Kimura and Yoshida were helping to steady him. 

Terasaka’s voice came sharp and steady, “The octopus is half right. You ain’t gotta resist the anger. You gotta control it. So do it, Nagisa. Kill ‘im to within an inch of his life.”

Something in Terasaka’s words finally triggered motion in Nagisa. The boy bent down and picked up the stun-gun, tucking it firmly into his belt. He then shed his overshirt letting the breeze carry it off the helipad.

“Ooh, don’t _you_ look vicious!” Takaoka laughed, shrugging out of his jacket.

“Korosensei…” Kayano looked over towards him, “Nagisa put the stun-gun away…”

“I see you’re determined to use the knife. I knew you’d see the light.” Takaoka’s voice was filled with mocking confidence, “Wanna know another secret? I _do_ have some spare vials of that remedy.”

He held up a hand where between his fingers were three glass vials glinting in the sickly green lights of the helipad.

There were some gasps of surprise from the kids around you.

“If you don’t come at me like you mean it, or if your _pals_ get in our way, you can kiss these babies goodbye. Everyone infected will die.”

That’s when you noticed two of your number were missing. Chiba and Okano had moved to one of the support columns with intent to climb it. They froze at his words.

“Hear that, Karasuma?! Stay out of this!” Takaoka called over, “This stuff takes a good month to make in ideal conditions. There’s not enough for everyone, but it _is_ your last hope.” he spoke around one of the vials that he’d tucked between his teeth.

“We need a backup plan.” you said softly, waving Chiba and Hayami over, “You still have ammunition?”

The pair nodded, looking a bit unsure at you asking the question.

“Good. If this situation jumps the track then I say we shoot the bastard.”

The class stared at you in surprise. Even Karasuma looked perturbed.

“What? The man can survive a leg wound. Hobble the fucker.” you looked to Karasuma and Korosensei.

There was a pause, Karasuma looked to Chiba and Hayami, “Think you can do it?”

The pair nodded firmly.

“Alright then. Mr. Karasuma.” Korosensei spoke softly, “I hate to ask this of you or the children but if at any moment you determine that Nagisa’s life is in danger, give Chiba and Hayami orders to shoot.”

You turned your attention back to Nagisa and Takaoka. The boy moved to approach but Takaoka was having none of it. He rushed forward, kicking Nagisa squarely in the stomach. The boy went flying, tumbling across the helipad. When he came to a stop he sat up, holding his stomach and coughing. 

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you going to kill me?” Takaoka’s voice was black with malice. 

Nagisa looked up and surged to his feet, swinging wildly at his opponent. On one rogue swing Takaoka caught him by the wrist and lifted him off his feet, headbutting him hard. The boy stumbled back, clutching his forehead. Two swift punches to the face, a kick to the back, an elbow firmly planted between the shoulder blades, another strike to the face, all in rapid succession. Followed by a knee to the boy’s stomach.

Nagisa dropped to his knees.

“It’s no contest…” Hayami said quietly.

“There’s no way he can beat that monster.” Sugaya agreed.

Takaoka bent to retrieve something and stood, his voice casual, “Hey, don’t die on me yet. We’re just getting started!” he brandished a knife.

“After all, I haven’t gotten to bring this girl into the mix yet...” he approached the boy, twirling the blade in his hand before pointing it at him, “I’ll split you from groin to grin and savor the screams. I’ll cut off your hands and feet and mount them above my mantle like trophies!”

“Mr. Karasuma!” Kayano looked to her teacher in fear, “You have to give the order. He’s going to kill Nagisa!”

“Wait!” Terasaka barked, “Stay out of it!”

“You’re telling us to leave him to face this, Terasaka? Have you seen the shape Nagisa is in?” Karma said, looking back at his classmate, “I’m just about ready to join the fray, myself.”

“If you didn’t ditch training so much you’d have a clue. Nagisa’s still got somethin’ up his sleeve. Just watch.”

What was he-

And just like that, you remembered Lovro’s lesson to the boy.

_For it to work three criteria must be met._

Nagisa rose to his feet and… smiled. 

_First, have at least two weapons on hand._

He leveled his gaze at Takaoka and began to advance, knife in hand. 

_Second, you must be pitted against an expert._

Takaoka froze, staring. 

_Third, and most importantly..._

You imagined he was remembering the last time he’d seen that smile. 

_Your opponent must already know what it means to face_ **_death_ ** _._

When Nagisa was nearly within arm’s reach, he dropped the knife and lunged forward, slamming his hands together in a loud, stunning clap. 

Takaoka shook and stumbled backwards. In one fluid motion, Nagisa whipped out the stun-gun and jabbed it into Takaoka’s side. The man dropped to his knees, twitching.

“Way to go, that’s how it’s done. Now finish ‘im off, Nagisa. A good jolt to the neck’ll put ‘im out cold.” Terasaka called.

Nagisa looked down at his former teacher. Reaching out with the stun-gun, he gently coaxed Takaoka’s chin up with it so that the man’s eyes met his. Takaoka was wheezing hard.

After a moment’s pause, Nagisa smiled, “Mr. Takaoka? Thank you very much.”

The stun-gun fired and the man dropped like a ton of bricks.

It was Sugaya that broke the stunned silence with a whoop of joy, “We beat the boss!”

Nagisa smiled down at his friends before looking skyward.

The clouds had cleared and above the helipad was the crescent moon.

“Okano, Kataoka! Locate an alternate route up.” Karasuma said sharply.

In short order, a ladder was found and the lot of you made your way out to the helipad to meet the boy.

“Nice work!” Karma chuckled, approaching.

Isogai was right behind him, “You okay, Nagisa?”

“Yeah…” Nagisa nodded.

You approached him before he could protest, passing Isogai Korosensei as you opened your bag and grabbing your penlight, “I’ll be the judge of that. Karma could you get out the bandages?”

Karma followed your instruction with his usual lazy manner but you noticed a small tremor as he passed you the gauze. You weren't the only one then...

Carefully, you shined the light into Nagisa’s eyes. Response was good. Okay. Definitely a lot of abrasions and cuts. How the hell was this going to be explained to his parents?

“I’m oka-”

“I watched that fight, Nagisa.” you looked him in the eyes, “You remember my classes. Being tough will get you killed...”

He faltered and gave a nod, “And so will underestimating your injuries. Sorry, Mx. Reader...”

“Well done, Nagisa. I’m proud of you.” Korosensei said with pride, “For the first time in a while, I had no idea how things would end. I’m relieved.”

You had the boy sit, tending to his cuts from the explosion.

“Thanks but… now what?” Nagisa said softly, “Everyone else is still infected. The antidote we got off of Mr. Takaoka isn't going to be enough…”

The realization settled in on the other students and you felt your stomach drop again. You pushed the feeling away, focusing on bandaging the boy’s injuries.

Karasuma sighed, making his way across the helipad with Sugaya’s help, “We’ll figure something out. But first, let’s get out of here.” He had a phone in hand, “I’ve called a chopper; you wait here. Kimura, Okano, Kataoka, can you retrieve Smog?”

“Ha! The antidote won't do you any good!” you looked to see three very unnervingly familiar silhouettes standing by the ladder. 

The assassins...

The speaker was the gunman from the concert hall, “You brats thought you could get out of here alive, eh?”

You noticed that he had his gun hanging from his mouth, barrel first. Wh-what was wrong with this guy?

“We’ve defeated the man who hired you-you no longer have a dog in this fight.” Karasuma spoke sharply, “These students are strong and you’re outnumbered. How about we stop now before anyone else gets hurt?”

The gunman shrugged, “Yeah, alright.”

“You just don’t know when to give up do- Huh?” Yoshida’s brain finally registered what the man had said. 

The gunman shrugged, his voice amicable, “No worries. Our contracts don’t cover avenging the boss. Besides, it’s like I said: the antidote wouldn't help anyway.”

"Wha-" you were cut off by the poisoner, Smog.

He lifted up a container in one hand, “This here is what I gave you. You familiar with Clostridium Botulinum? Botulism? This is just a modified version of that old warhorse. It’ll keep going strong for another thirty hours or so, but then it’ll lose its oomph- it's unpleasant, sure, but not fatal. Rest assured.” he lifted another vial, “Now, _this_ is what our boss wanted me to use. If we’d used this, you’d really be in dire straits.”

It…

_They what?_

Karma’s opponent pitched in, “After we got the job the three of us talked it over, hm. Our boss' plan just seemed too harsh, hm. We figured we could do the handover without resorting to a deadly virus, hm. I mean, you just had to _think_ you were gonna die.”

“It was enough to make you _feel_ like your lives were in danger, anyway.” Smog chuckled.

“So you went against orders? Can you do that when he’s paying you?” Okano asked.

“What are you, stupid?” the gunman asked, “We take _pride_ in what we do. If you think pros’ll do anything for money you got another thing comin’. Of course, we’ll do our best to abide by our client’s wishes… but he never had any intention of giving you the remedy. Either we become killers of a bunch of innocent junior-high kids or we take a hit to our professional standing."

Professional standing? What? Were they gonna get bad Yelp reviews? 

"Seemed like a pretty straightforward decision to us." He shrugged, "We just calmly weighed which option carried more risk from here on out.”

“And that’s why, sorry to say, none of you will be dying.” Smog chuckled. He tossed a bottle of pills to Nagisa, “Give the patients that supplement and make sure they get plenty of sleep. They’ll probably feel even better than when this all started. I’ve had a few targets tell me as much.” he looked to Karasuma, "Surprised you're still standing with a double dose of that paralytic. You'd better get bed rest and fluids. That stuff takes it out of you and the antidote isn't a walk in the park either."

The wind kicked up and you heard the sounds of chopper blades above you. It settled on the helipad and soldiers exited it, a pair immediately moving to restrain a catatonic Takaoka.

“We’ll take it under advisement. But I’ll believe it once I see those students recovered.” Karasuma’s voice was sharp and stern, “In the meantime, I'm afraid it's protocol to detain you for questioning.”

“Ah, well. You’ve got a week to wrap it up before our next job starts.” the gunman shrugged. He approached your group and abruptly offered Karasuma his hand, "Gastro."

"Ah. Thought so. Your teacher spoke highly of you. I see why." Karasuma gave the man a nod.

The man who had been shooting at your students not even what? A half-hour ago? And now he and Karasuma were chatting like this was some convention meet-n-greet.

What the fuck was this year?

Karasuma looked to the blonde who, you noticed, had distinct marks still from Karma's clips on his mouth, "Which means you are…"

"Grip." He gave a nod.

Did all assassins have these names? Did Irina have a weird handle like this? You'd have to ask her...

“Im disappointed. I thought for sure you'd be up for a grudge match!” Karma drawled, eyeing his earlier opponent, “You're a samurai! Isn't your honor threatened by hot sauce?"

“I don’t kill people out of spite, hm.” the man gave him a pat on the head before walking past him to the waiting helicopter, “I’ll wait for the day someone puts a hit out on you, hm. You need to become someone worth targeting, hm.”

“And there you have it, kids!” Gastro called down to them as the chopper ascended, “If you really want us to come kill you, you’ve gotta make it big! Become a worthy target! Then we’ll give you the pro assassin’s grand tour!”

He released the bullets from his gun where they scattered and rolled across the helipad. Nagisa bent down, picking one of them up.

You turned your attention back to him, continuing your examination. Then you heard the sound of someone hitting the ground. Turning you saw Karasuma sitting on the tarmac waving off a concerned Sugaya, "I'll be fine… I just need to rest…"

“You know… we beat them,” Hayami said, watching the helicopter disappear into the distance, “But I don’t feel like we really beat them…”

Karma sighed, “That’s because of how they put it. They made it sound like they were just toying with us… they sure are pros.”

A few moments later there was the sound of helicopter blades as your ride arrived.

Karasuma was bundled onto a stretcher. Nagisa was double checked by the medic on board, much to his weariness. By the end of it all you were all piled into the belly of the chopper and lifting off the ground.

Korosensei was in your lap and you were sitting near Karasuma's stretcher. He was engaged in discussion with one of the other agents.

"I'm sorry sir, there was a complication."

"What sort of complication?"

"Ah… well, your assistants were involved in a car accident."

"WHAT?!" He glared at the soldier.

"They're fine. Mild injuries. We lost contact with them for a while there."

"That's… that's why they didn't check-in."

He nodded, "They managed to flag down someone and get Transpo but…"

Karasuma gave a groan, dropping his head back on the stretcher, "But they were supposed to be managing Operation Ofuda."

"About that sir…"

Your attention was pulled away as Nagisa spoke, “Terasaka… Thanks for calling out to me back there. I was about to make the wrong move.”

“Hmph.” Terasaka looked away, “One less student makes it that much harder to kill the octopus.”

Karma chuckled knowingly at the boy’s deflection.

Nagisa just smiled, “Yeah… sorry.”

You leaned your head back against the thrumming wall of the helicopter.

Everyone was alive and safe.

Your fingers idly stroked the glassy surface of the orb in your hands.

 _Everyone_ was.


	73. Safe and Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come.

Things happened very quickly after that. The chopper landed, the kids piled off, and Karasuma was swiftly carted to the pavilion where Mr. Tsuruta and Ms. Sonokawa were camped out. Okuda ran to meet you immediately, looking frazzled, “What happened? Did you get the antidote?!”

“It’s going to be okay,” you assured her.

“Here give them these!” Nagisa handed her the bottle, “It’s not fatal.”

“W-what?” she looked at you both in surprise. 

“We’ll explain, for now, let’s get everyone treated,” you said, ushering the kids to the pavilion.

The supplements were passed out and Megu and Isogai gave the group a rundown of events. Nagisa and Karma were the stars of the show given their particular fights. Karma took it affably. Nagisa, meanwhile, looked embarrassed by the whole thing. 

You relaxed, watching them.

“Good job, Doc, you didn’t get hurt.” Karma smirked, “That’s a first.”

“Hm?” you looked up in surprise.

Kayano laughed, “Hey, yeah, you’re right. For once it wasn’t Mx. Reader getting hurt.”

You shook your head with a smirk, “Sorry, should I try harder next time?”

“I mean if you wanna end up as a stand-in for Mr. Doki Doki then go right ahead.” Nakamura laughed, leaning against one of the pavilion’s posts.

You waved a hand, “No thanks, he can keep his job.’

There were some scattered chuckles, which eased your tension.

If they could laugh, they were well on their way to feeling better.

After the students were treated you finally paused, surveying the scene.

The sick students were sitting up, talking to their friends, listening to the stories, and they were improving. You gave a sigh of relief and looked towards Karasuma only to see that he and his assistants had vanished.

What-

You paused and looked down at Korosensei who was still in your hands, “Uh… I guess we’re supervising the kids? I have no idea where Karasuma went…”

“Given the dose of poison he received I have a feeling he’s conferring with his assistants about what to do next.”

You nodded then looked to the kids, “Okay guys, it’s-” you looked at your phone and winced, “It’s nearly midnight. We need to get you all to bed.”

Nakamura dropped her head back with a happy sigh, “That sounds like heaven.~”

“Partner up, healthy students, support your sick peers. I trust you have your room numbers?” Korosensei addressed them.

“We got it.” Sugaya chuckled, “Did you see what we just did? Getting to our hotel rooms is no problem.”

You chuckled and followed them inside, pausing when you spotted Karasuma in the lobby. He was still on his stretcher but sitting up working at a table with Sonokawa, Tsuruta, and Ukai.

Sonokawa, you noticed, had her arm in a sling. Tsuruta had a bandage around his head. Ukai was leaning in looking at something Sonokawa was pointing out on the papers they had spread out.

You approached them, “Hey… what happened?”

The four of them looked up at you in surprise and then to the orb in your hands.

“One of the patrons of the resort you were raiding happened to decide to drive while intoxicated.” Tsuruta said dryly, "We were collateral damage."

“We got lucky.” Sonokawa said bruskly, “But we’re behind schedule…”

There was a chuckle from your hands, “Ah, yes, the hail mary plan that Ukai mentioned.” you glanced down to see green stripes, “I can tell you right now that it won’t work unless you’d rather take Takaoka’s approach.”

You saw Karasuma stiffen at that suggestion and he glared over at Korosensei, “We’re not monsters.”

“You are also not well. I believe the only one of you in decent shape is Mr. Ukai. Would you say my assessment is correct, Mx. Reader?”

You gave Karasuma an apologetic look and nodded, “He’s right… when the clinic opens today all three of you definitely need to be accessed just in case…”

“We’ll be fine.” Sonokawa looked at you.

“Sonokawa…” Ukai touched her shoulder lightly and you saw her wince, “Sorry… but I think they’re right…”

Sonokawa looked frustrated, “We’re just going to lose more time that way!”

You looked between the four of them, “I know that my opinion isn’t… well, I know that I technically don’t work with you on this and as such, what I say probably won’t carry much weight but…” you took a breath, “If you continue to work in the condition you’re all in there’s a good chance that you’ll make your injuries worse, which means you’ll be less capable of handling things once we’re off this island.”

The four stared at you for a long moment.

“I assume that arm is broken, Sonokawa?” she went a touch pink at your statement, “It needs to be properly set and cast.”

“It’s been set and splinted…” she said tersely.

“And you, Tsuruta… That bandage, did you hit your head?” he faltered, “Are you going to be capable of accurate planning if you have a concussion?”

He looked irritated.

You turned your eyes to Karasuma, “You haven’t gotten off that stretcher. That tells me you’re still feeling the effects of that agent he used on you…”

Karasuma sighed.

“I’m not trying to interfere but my job in this classroom is to look after everyone. And, in my mind, that includes all of you.” you finished up, looking around at them.

There was a long pause and Karasuma sighed heavily before looking at his watch, "We have ten hours until the clinic opens and roughly ten more until he's back to his usual form…"

"Should I go get coffee then?" Ukai looked exhausted as he stood.

Karasuma shook his head, "Pack it in for now. Let's catch a few hours sleep and see if we can start fresh. Maybe this'll wear off by then." You watched him grab his shaking wrist to steady it, "Sonokawa, you'll need to get a cast on that first thing."

She huffed but nodded.

"I mean… it's not like he's a flight risk." You said, holding up Korosensei, "Um… speaking of what should I do with…?"

"Keep an eye on him." Karasuma grumbled, "I'll be too tempted to throw him into the ocean."

Korosensei giggled and you gave him a shake.

"...have you guys even eaten?" You asked, looking at them.

The assistants looked awkwardly between one another. Karasuma nodded, "Alright, you three, get some food. I'm going to take a minute to-"

"Karasuma!"

You looked up in time to see a flash of gold and red as Irina rushed over.

She began to fret over him and you tried hard not to laugh at his long suffering expression.

With him thoroughly distracted, you quietly slipped away to the elevator, heading to your room.

In the elevator you pulled out your phone, “Ritsu?”

“Yes, Mx. Reader?” Ritsu was halfway through laughing you noticed and was…

“Are you wearing pajamas?”

“Mmhmm!” she grinned, “We’re getting ready for bed!”

“We?”

“The other girls and I.”

“Everyone make it to their rooms okay?” you asked.

“Yep!”

“Okay…” you gave a content sigh, “Well, tell everyone I said goodnight.”

“Will do!” she said, chipperly, “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, Ritsu. Thank you.”

And she vanished from your screen.

You leaned back against the wall with a sigh.

“Reader?” Korosensei’s voice was soft, “Are you alright?”

“I will be. Just coming down off of the adrenaline still. Body’s wiped…” you replied, “You?”

“I’m perfectly fine. I’m much more concerned with everyone else’s well being at the moment.”

“Yeah…” you exited the elevator and made your way down the hall, locating the room number you’d gotten.

The second the door closed behind you, you went over to one of the plush queen-sized beds and fell forward onto it, burying your face in the comforter.

There was a soft chuckle from your companion, "Are you sure you’re alright?"

"I need a shower and some sleep." 

Your voice was muffled by the comforter.

You pushed yourself up and grabbed some clothes from your bag. Then you paused, looking at the grinning orb on the bed.

Hm...

With everything that had gone on today, there was no way you were just leaving him in the room. With a sigh, you carried him to the bathroom with you.

"Reader what-"

"I need a shower."

He went neon pink, "Well, yes, you mentioned but why am _I_ required exactly?"

"You're not but given you can't move and everyone is trying to kill you I'm not taking chances leaving you alone."

You sat him on the sink.

"O-oh...well in that case ah-"

You placed a towel over him and he made a sound of alarm.

"Relax, I'll grab you when I'm in the tub."

"The tub?!" He sounded mortified.

"Yeah." You made sure he couldn't see and stripped, climbing into the shower.

You could hear alarmed murmuring from him as he tried to sort out what you meant.

After all the action of the day the warm water was a relief. You sighed, content. You'd be more flustered by his presence but you were a bit too tired to care at this point. You just wanted to lay somewhere soft and comfortable and go the fuck to sleep. After a good scrub, you rinsed and shut off the shower. Stoppering the tub you ran yourself a bath.

Your muscles needed a soak. 

You wrapped a towel around yourself and uncovered your companion.

He was bright pink and blushing.

Cute.

"Wanna keep me company?"

"O-of course!"

His reactions were helping you relax. This was familiar and calm.

You chuckled and picked him up. Holding him facing away from you, you dropped your towel and climbed into the tub. You sank into the water up to your neck and turned him to face you, leaving him floating on the surface.

He took a moment to realize his situation and went neon pink. You laughed.

"Reader!"

"Yeah? Is there a problem?"

"Ah… I…"

You smirked, "Maybe you're regretting being an Octopus Ball at the moment?"

He looked like he might implode at that. You paused, "Hey... If it makes you uncomfortable I could put you back in the sink."

"NO!" He went magenta, realizing how loud he'd been, " No, no that's not necessary! I was simply worried for your sake ah-"

"Uh-huh." You gave a tired chuckle, "What a day…"

"It certainly was interesting."

You snorted, "You mean terrifying?"

"At times, yes. But look at how well our students did!'

You gave a nod. The bath was warm and comfortable, your body was sore and exhausted. It was a bit hard to stay awake.

"They did amazing. Surprised that you didn't end up carted off to a vault somewhere…"

"Between Karasuma's assistants’ injuries and his own need for recovery, it seems he had the good sense to realize that their plan to chuck me in a concrete box full of bbs was not feasible…" he chuckled, "His assistants were also quite distracted. Mr. Ukai is far too busy worrying about Ms. Sonokawa to be of much assistance..."

His tone implied something a bit more than a friendly reason for the concern.

"Yeah?" You didn't know much about those three so hearing relationship nonsense might be involved was funny.

"Mmhm, she’s rather like Karasuma. I’m not sure the poor fellow has a chance.”

You chuckled, “Surprised those two aren’t hooked up, Karasuma and her.”

“That would require Karasuma to break protocol…” he chuckled, “Aside from those distractions, from their notes, it seems like they may be dealing with insufficient materials." 

"Well good. That just means I've got you all to myself for a while." You sighed tipping your head back, "That and things will be calm."

"We can only hope."

"...hey you're not going to like… explode or anything if you stay here are you?"

"Without anti-me interference, I should simply return to my usual size once the crystal degrades…"

"Okay. So keeping you on the nightstand shouldn't be a problem."

"Ah… no… it shouldn't…"

He'd gone pink…

"But you'd rather be in bed with me, huh?"

Alarmed octopus noises.

_Bingo._

You laughed, "I can keep you in bed, it's fine."

God, it felt good to laugh…

To relax…

To rest.

He was flustered. You reached out, giving him a little spin.

"Reader!" He yelped.

You chuckled, "Yeah?"

" _Please…_ I've had enough motion sickness for one trip…"

Reaching out, you stopped his drifting, "How are you going to handle the trip back?"

He looked a bit ill at the thought, "I'll simply have to tough it out."

"Couldn't you just fly back?"

"Well… yes…. But then I would miss quality time with the children! And with you…"

He didn't say it but you felt the implication hanging heavy in the air.

He didn't have a lot of time. He'd rather spend it ill with the lot of you than well and alone…

"Besides! The class is my responsibility!"

You chuckled, "True… man, Karasuma is _pissed_ about getting injured.”

"The children seem to have bounced back nicely though." His grin quirked up a bit, "I daresay this trip has _empowered_ them. The infiltration of the hotel certainly seems to have renewed their bloodlust!"

"Yeah, they do seem pretty confident after all that." You yawned, "I'm just glad everyone is safe…"

He chuckled, " _Everyone?_ "

"Yeah, that includes you." You smirked at him and then tipped your head back, "This bath is just what I needed…"

"It looks quite relaxing… it's very warm too…"

"What?" you cracked one eye open, "You can feel temperature changes in there?"

"Yes, actually. To an extent."

"Is it uncomfortable being crammed in there like that?"

"It's actually rather cozy but I imagine that knowing it's a temporary situation helps. I certainly wouldn’t want to be in this situation indefinitely."

"Being safe must be pretty novel, huh?"

"Very." 

You let your eyes slip closed again, "It's also kinda cute that you're _actually_ an octopus ball."

He chuckled.

You drifted off for a bit, waking up to him calling your name.

"Reader, I think it's best if you get to bed…"

"Mn… Yeah…" you sat up a bit and reached out, turning him away from you. You let the tub drain, placed him covered in the sink and dried off. After pulling on some PJs you scooped him back up and made it back to the bedroom.

 _God_ did bed sound good right now...

You stretched out on the plush mattress settling him on a pillow. When you looked back over you noticed his face was bright pink. Rolling onto your stomach, you turned your attention to him, "What is it?"

"Hm? Nothing, nothing."

You picked him up, "Hmmm that face doesn't seem like it's nothing…"

"Reader, it's really no-"

You flipped back, balancing him on your chest so you could easily look him in the face. Your tank top was sliding off one shoulder and you ran a hand back through your hair.

He cut off his own sentence with a sound of surprise. He was even pinker than before.

…

Oh, that was _cute_.

You ran your fingers over the surface of the orb he was in, "What's wrong? Feeling a little _lonely_ in there?"

"I do wish I was able to be more... _present_."

"Well, I mean you're here." You brought the orb up to your face, "you're just _compact_."

He gave a small huff.

You laughed and tilted your head a bit. This could actually be fun…

"What? Thinking about how you wish you could be laying here with me instead?"

His face lit up, "Reader!"

"Well? I'm right aren't I?"

He stammered.

Oh, this could be _really_ fun... You gave him a sultry smile and laid on the bed, running a finger idly over the ball, "Maybe you're thinking about how much you want to kiss me."

More panicked octopus noises. 

_Perfect_.

You leaned in close, whispering conspiratorially, "Maybe you were hoping you'd catch a glimpse of me _naked_?"

Absolutely neon pink.

You chuckled at his flustered sputtering.

“It’s too bad really.” you stretched out again, “I mean we have this lovely hotel room _all to ourselves_ . Right on the beach...it’s very _romantic_.”

“It is! And I can still be romantic like this!” his tone was panicked like he was trying to convince you.

“Oh? Can you?” you propped your head up on one hand.

"Y-yes! I could recite poetry for you or tell you how wonderful you are or-"

You leaned in close, " _Or you could tell me everything you'd like to do with me if you weren't stuck in there._ "

Meltdown time. He was bright pink, you were sure you were too. This was awfully risque compared to your usual flirting but something about having him at your mercy like this made him all the more fun to tease.

After a few moments of trying to recover from your suggestion, he looked up at you, "Would you really want me to do that, Reader?"

 _Ohhhh god?_ Okay, you hadn't expected him to _agree_.

Your heart was pounding, you gave a small nod.

"Very well then…"

Propping him up on a pillow, you laid on the bed, listening attentively. He looked like he was going to internally combust.

“Would it help if I didn’t look at you?”

He sighed and you laughed, taking pity on him, “You know you don’t _have_ to do that right?” 

Reaching past him, you shut off the lights and climbed under the blankets. The room was shadowed blues and purples. Light from the moon outside dimly illuminated the bed. 

You chuckled, getting comfortable, "I'm not going to hold you to it. I'm just having fun teasing yo-"

His voice was soft and warm and caught you completely off guard, “I would lay down with you, take you in my tentacles, and tell you how amazed I am that I have you in my life.”

 _OKAY_. UH.

“This year has been _beautiful_ so far but sometimes I wonder what on Earth I _ever_ did to deserve having you as a part of it.”

Your turn for a meltdown. You pulled the blankets up over your face and heard him chuckling, “I’m sorry, did you not expect me to _compliment_ you? But, Reader, it’s one of my _favorite_ past times!”

Peeking over the edge of the blankets, you narrowed your eyes at him, “I should give you back to Karma.”

**_“NO!”_ **

You laughed and reached out, moving him over to your pillow, closer to your face. You cupped one hand protectively around him. You could see his cheeks darken.

“I do sort of wish you were...well...you know...”

"I know."

"But you're still here." You smiled, "So I'm happy for that."

You idly let your fingers trail across the shell around him.

"And tomorrow night I'll be more present… But for the time being..."

He fell silent for a moment and then…

"I would love to know you in every way I possibly can. Map you to my memory so that I can always have you even when you're not near…"

Your heart stuttered. His cheeks were pink but his tone was warm and sincere. You pulled him close to your chest, embarrassed.

"If I could I would lay with you in this bed and hold you in my tentacles all night…"

You squeaked in the most undignified fashion and buried your face in the pillow. He laughed, green stripes across his face.

"You're _terrible_!"

"But isn't that what you _wanted_ , Reader?"

You were blushing so badly you were shocked the pillow wasn't on _fire_. You nodded, too flustered to look at him.

"Reader, if I could, I would take all night just telling you how much I love you..."

You shivered.

"I would love to spend a night with you like that if you would have me."

You were going to die.

"You're killing me."

"Well, I am an assassin!"

"Ah, yes, you're going to relieve me of my life.~"

_"Reader why!?"_

You laughed and laid him back on the pillow next to you, "I love you, you stupid octopus."

He smirked, "Of course! After all, you do love octopus balls."

You groaned and he cackled in delight.

"At least I don't quiver in anticipation over them!"

He went bright pink and there was a pause between you.

Had you gone too far?

"Of course not. You'd rather just have them in your mouth!"

You laughed, "Goddammit!"

He chuckled and you sighed, "God, I wish I could kiss you right now…"

He was a deep magenta, "The _moment_ we can…"

You laughed, burying your face in the pillow and nodding.

"I love you…"

"And I you, Reader…"

"I'm so glad you're okay…" you whispered softly.

You slowly drifted off with your hand trailing over the glassy surface of the octopus ball in your hands.


	74. Target Practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come

When you first woke up, it was because there was something hard prodding you in the side. You pushed it away and rolled over, going back to sleep.

The next time you woke up it was to a muffled sound from under the blankets. You ignored it and went back to sleep.

When you finally achieved consciousness the afternoon sun was blinding you through the window. You huffed and rolled over, your hand thumping against something hard in the bed. 

You dug it out from under the blankets and held it up, squinting. It was brilliantly reflecting the sunlight back at you.

“Hng…” you grimaced.

“Good morning! Or should I say afternoon?”

You held a hand up, blocking the sunlight from reflecting on the orb that was addressing you. With the light blocked you could now see the yellow grinning face staring at you.

“Afternoon…” you mumbled, sitting up.

“That was… an interesting night.” he chuckled.

“Huh?” you said, eloquently.

“You move a lot in your sleep, Reader.”

You stared at him for a long moment, slowly remembering how you’d woken up before. Fuck, the poor bastard had been rolling around in the sheets all night, “Oh god!” you laughed, “I’m so sorry!”

“Not to worry. I did ah… ask, after all. Though I tried to wake you.”

“I was exhausted,” you said apologetically.

He chuckled, “It’s quite alright.”

You picked him up gently, “What time even is it?”

“By the angle of the sun, I would say close to four o’clock.”

“Oh fuck…” you got up, “Is anyone supervising the kids?"

"I would assume they would have made an attempt to fetch us if they were awake. If nothing else to try to get under our respective skins a bit more. I would have asked Ritsu but I'm afraid your phone was left off the charger."

"...well if that's the case and no one is trying to break the door down I assume that we've not been needed…"

"I think that's a fair assumption." His grin quirked up a bit.

"We should probably check it out though… I mean we already had one surprise attack here. I'd rather not deal with another."

With that, you set him down, hooked up your phone, and went to get dressed. After all of yesterday’s nonsense you opted to wear a bathing suit under your clothes because good god, what else was this trip going to throw at you? A drowning?

When you reached the lobby you found no sign of your group. Concerned, you asked some of the hotel staff about the others.

Ms. Sonokawa has been taken into town by Mr. Ukai for a cast earlier in the day. The clinic was a ways out and they hadn't made it back yet.

Tsuruta had come down for breakfast but returned to his rooms shortly after. Karasuma and Irina had called for room service. The kids, it seemed, were all still asleep.

Given yesterday? You could see why.

You grabbed some coffee and fruit before making your way out to the beach. Perching yourself on a deck chair, you looked out over the waves. You'd placed your beachball of a boyfriend on the chair next to yours.

You sipped your coffee and leaned over, "So when  _ were _ you going to tell me about this trick?"

You tapped the top of the ball with a finger. 

He chuckled, "Well, I can't possibly give you  _ all _ of my weaknesses can I?"

You smirked, "I guess not."

"Think they're still going to try to do something with you?"

"That remains to be seen. If so then they’re getting awfully close to the wire with their preparations…”

“Hm…”

“Hey, Mx. Reader.”

You turned to see Nagisa approaching in his gym wear.

“Hey, good morning!” you waved.

He trotted over, taking a seat on the deck chair beside you, one hand resting on Korosensei. The boy was covered in small bandages from the glass shrapnel. One cheek was bruised and his brow on that side was a bit swollen. While he didn’t look fantastic you knew that it could have been a hell of a lot worse...

“You seem well this morning, Nagisa.” Korosensei said, chipperly, “Recovering from the fight I trust?”

“I mean, I feel like I was hit by a truck but I kind of expected that…” the boy gave a sheepish smile.

“How are you feeling?” you looked him over.

“Well, you know, I’m sor-”

You held up a hand and tapped your head, “I mean here. Last night was intense for everyone but you especially. How are you feeling?”

Pink tinged the boy’s cheeks and he turned to look out at the ocean.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk about it or if you’re not sure how to.” you continued, “But it’s better if you get it out there.”

He gave a small nod, “I…” there was something to his tone, “I think I feel guilty…”

“Guilty? For beating up Takaoka?” you looked at him.

“No…” he paused and looked at you, “For not feeling bad about it.”

Well then…

“I mean…” he sat there for a moment, trying to find the words, “He wanted to fight me. I didn’t want to. It was… it was scary. But I don’t feel bad for fighting him or beating him. I was defending myself and my friends and… well I mean he literally wanted me to fight him…”

“You did exceptionally well under the circumstances presented to you.” Korosensei’s voice was gentle.

“I think that you’re justified in not feeling bad about beating him up.” you chuckled, “The man is a grade-A asshole.”

Nagisa paused, “But… I don’t know… would I have felt the same way if I killed him?” he looked unsure, “I mean, that is what he wanted. Me to fight to the death. And… I don’t know, it feels weird to say it’s fine to not feel bad about beating him because if I’d killed him then couldn’t I just use the same logic to not feel bad?”

You tipped your head, “You could, but the outcome of those scenarios is different. Yes, Takaoka wanted you to fight him. Maybe even kill him. But you didn’t want to do either of those things. You’ve got a kind heart, Nagisa. The fact that you’re worried about feeling guilty if you hypothetically killed someone is a pretty good sign that you’d not inclined to kill anyone to begin with…” you paused, “Uh… resident octopus excluded of course.”

Nagisa picked up Korosensei, “I… I don’t know… using these skills it feels… well, it feels right. Like, it’s something I’m good at.”

“You are.” Korosensei agreed, “But having a specific skill does not make one lose their moral code. Consider your opponents from last night. They are all exceptionally skilled in the art of murder and yet they chose to take the action that would cause the least suffering.”

Nagisa was silent, mulling it over.

“I mean, think about archers.”

He looked at you in surprise.

“Archery is a sport. It’s still played today. It’s a skill. But it can also be used to kill someone. It was originally made for the purpose of killing. If an archer who shoots for sport were asked to kill someone would they do it just because they have the skill?”

The boy shook his head, “No…”

“Reader is correct. There is more than one way to wield a blade, Nagisa.” Korosensei said, “And I am sure that you will find a method that suits your morals perfectly.”

He let out a sigh, tension leaving his thin frame. When he looked up, he smiled, “Thank you…” 

“What sort of party is all this?” you looked up to see Okano approaching. Kimura tagging along not far behind.

“Not really a party, I haven’t even finished my coffee yet.” you held up the cup, “Any signs of Karasuma about?”

Hara shook her head, “No but his assistants were heading inside when we came out.”

“Ms. Sonokawa and Mr. Ukai?” you asked.

She nodded, “Ms. Sonokawa seemed really agitated…”

“Yikes…” you sighed and looked over at Korosensei in the boy’s hands, “I guess they’re all pretty frustrated last night’s plans didn’t pan out…”

“Plans?” Nagisa looked up at you.

“Yes. Mr. Karasuma was quite keen on putting me in a concrete bunker and trying his hand at killing me during my change over. The car accident and gas attacks, however, seem to have set the process back significantly…” green stripes decorate the octopus’ face.

He was  _ living _ for this.

“Car accident?” Hara looked to you, concerned.

“Uh, yeah…” you quickly filled them in on last night’s updates.

“Hm…” Nagisa looked over to the others, “Maybe we could come up with something…”

“I mean… just us? Or the whole class?” Kimura asked.

Nagisa shrugged, “I don’t know.” he gave a tired laugh, “I’m still exhausted.”

“Hey!” Hinano ran over to the group, Sugaya tagging along, “Mister Karasuma was looking for you, Mx. Reader.” 

“He finally left his room?” you chuckled.

“Yeah, he said to ‘bring the octopus’”

“Of course he did.” you held out your hand as Nagisa handed Korosensei off to you, “Better go see what he wants…”

When you entered the lobby you found Karasuma looking irritated, “I tried calling you. Where have you been?”

“My room and then the beach for like… twenty minutes. Phone’s on the charger upstairs.” you shrugged.

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I mean… if you really needed me you could have probably gotten hotel staff to call my room. Unless you were just now trying to reach me because I haven’t been up that long…”

“Do you have the octopus?”

You held him up, “Yeah.”

“Alright.” he took the orb from your hands, “It may be a long shot but we have managed to scrape something together for an attempt.”

“Nurufufufu~ Oh I can’t wait to see what you’ve cooked up on such short notice!”

Karasuma didn’t look impressed, “Did you get any intel on him?”

“He feels temperature changes in there. That’s about it. The rest you’ve seen.” you shrugged.

“Temperature changes, huh?” Karasuma chuckled slightly, “Well, I think that might play out in our favor…”

Ohhhh boy…

Where the hell was this going?

A little while later you found out exactly where it was going when Mr. Ukai wheeled a large metal container out onto the beach.

“Uh… Mr. Karasuma what… is that?” Nagisa asked skeptically.

“Plan B.”

“That, children, is liquid nitrogen!” Korosensei chuckled, green stripes decorating his features, “I assume the idea is to freeze me to prevent me from discharging my energy to escape. It won’t work but I’m _ happy _ to humor you!”

You followed, along with the children, to a nearby strip of beach away from the resort proper. This must have been coordinated when you weren’t awake, because there was a small construction army here putting together what looked like some sort of concrete bunker out in the water.

“Uh… Mr. K, what’s the plan here?” Isogai asked, observing.

You noticed that, despite being mobile, Karasuma was moving a bit slower than usual. He seemed stiff and his movements looked painful. Yesterday must have really taken it out of him…

He looked to the boy, “We’re placing him in a vat of liquid nitrogen, then encasing him in anti-sensei material. The whole thing is happening in that.” he gave a nod to the concrete structure.

“Do you think it’ll work?” Nakamura asked.

“It’s the best we could manage on short notice given yesterday’s complications.”

This certainly looked different than their plans. A much smaller scale.

You perched yourself on a hillside nearby with some of the kids, watching the construction.

You weren’t as anxious about this attempt despite its level of organization. Korosensei simply seemed too sure that it would fail. And while he was often cocky, this cockiness seemed too on point to be bravado.

The sky was alight with reds and golds. Not quite sunset but getting there.

Kayano joined you, “That was one crazy day…”

“I’m just glad we got through it in one piece,” Nagisa said softly.

Kayano stared at him, “You were the one in the most danger, Nagisa!”

The boy looked sheepish. The evening sun highlighting the bruises and bandages harshly, “Sorry…”

“You’re such a trouble magnet, Nagisa. You know we worry about you.” she sighed, looking at him.

He gave a quiet awkward laugh.

You heard other students approaching and looked back to see Okano greeting some of the others. It was good to see everyone up and about again.

Hara looked around at the group, “I see everyone went with their school jerseys…”

Most of the kids were in their gym wear.

“I mean, we’re the only guests.” Kimura tucked his hands behind his head, “Might as well be comfy.”

"We were due for a costume change anyway." Fuwa waved a hand dismissively, "So, is Korosensei really in there?"

She nodded to the construction.

"Yeah. He seems pretty sure it won’t work. Mr. Karasuma has been orchestrating the whole thing. They were going to arrange something bigger but yesterday kinda messed with the plans…" Nagisa shrugged.

Kimura shook his head, "Mr. Karasuma's a beast. If I’d gone through what he did yesterday, I'd still be in bed… probably for the rest of the month."

"He’s awesome." Sugino agreed, "I wonder if we’ll be as awesome as him in ten years…"

"Who knows but it’s somethin’ to shoot for." Sugaya was leaning against a tree, watching.

“You know, Professor Bitch is amazing too, even though she doesn’t show it.” Megu was perched on a rock, looking down to the beach where Irina was lounging, reading a book in her bikini, “I guess now showing it is part of her skill set…”

“Mx. Reader is pretty impressive too. Did you see how they took charge with taking care Mr. Karasuma yesterday?” Okano said, looking over to you.

You felt your face redden and you waved a hand.

Isogai nodded, “So were the assassins we met at the hotel. I mean, you’ve gotta admire the discipline it takes to be that highly skilled. And the philosophy. They had a clear idea of the parameters of their job.”

“True that.” he leaned on Isogai’s shoulders, “Personally, as long as I don’t grow up to be like Takaoka, I’ll be happy.”

Isogai nodded, “We follow people we admire and leave behind the ones we reject. I guess growing up and living life as an adult is just a repetition of that.”

“Pretty much.” you said, looking over at them, “Your morals, your feelings, your guides in life, they’re often all shaped by who you admire and choose to follow. You choose what to shoot for and take aim at it until you hit your mark. And it never stops. The same way you never stop learning you never stop growing or changing.”

There was a pause, the kids reflecting on that for a moment.

“Hey, look!” Fuwa pointed, “They’re tossing him in!”

You were glad you’d retrieved your phone before coming down here. Pulling it out, you began recording. After the lightshow last time you wanted to see if you could get Ritsu to play it back in slow motion.

You watched as one Octopus Ball was dropped into a canister and lowered into the structure. The construction crew fell back to the beach.

And then… you all waited.

It didn’t take long.

There were arcs of electricity and a resounding boom as the structure shattered, its pieces flinging themselves into the sea. 

“Holy shit he exploded!” Maehara was staring in shock out at the waves.

Sugino bolted to his feet, “Did we get him?!”

A moment later and you heard the familiar rush of wind that signaled the presence of the octopus.

No.

They didn’t get him.

When you turned, he was standing there, in his vacation get up, clutching himself and shivering, “That was a bit chillier than I expected but I’m afraid I’m quite intact.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. You couldn’t help but smile. 

He was okay.

_ He was okay... _

After a moment or so he looked to the children, “Nurufufufufu~ You’ve suffered in the shadow of my cowardice, and for that I am sorry. But consider: Not only have you faced an array of fearsome foes, you did so with unquestionable style!”

Nagisa gave him a smile, “Good morning, Korosensei. Good to have you back, but with all due respect we like this form better. You’re just not the same without your tentacles.”

“Morning!” Hinano chimed in.

“Indeed. And a good morning to you.” a rosy pink tinged his cheeks, “Now, what do you say we get this vacation back on track?

“You bet!” Nagisa got to his feet.

“Isn’t it a little late for that?” Sugino looked over, “We head back tomorrow morning…”

“Are you kidding me?!” the octopus cried out in alarm, his tentacles suddenly brandishing summertime items like watermelons and fireworks, “I haven’t enjoyed myself nearly enough! There’s so much fun in the sun to be had now that I’m fully mobile again!”

Sugino gave a sigh, “Aren’t _ you _ chipper?”

And just like that he was off. Zipping about building sandcastles, smashing watermelons, and skywriting…

You sighed, laughing.

_ SUMMER 大スキ _ was scrawled across the sky.

_ Summer daisuki. _

We love summer.

You shook your head. What a nerd.

“There’s not a second to waste, children! Summer vacation with your Korosensei is a once-in-a-lifetime experience! We can’t waste a single second!” one of his clones was now on the beach, gesturing with excitement with a slice of watermelon… right before the side of his head deformed.

He yelped, “What are you doing, Karma?!”

When you looked you saw the boy had drawn his bb gun, “Takin’ your advice, Teach. You just said not to waste a single second.”

“Nurufufufu~ Wait until your target lets his guard down-” he was cut off by another yelp as he began rapidly dodging a hail of bbs.

Terasaka laughed, “HEY!  _ Now _ it’s summer vacation!”

Karma grinned and approached your group, “No time like the present, right? Whaddya say, Nagisa? Feel like emptyin’ a few rounds?”

Nagisa gave a laugh and shook his head, “After yesterday I think I need a break…”

“Suit yourself.” the boy shrugged before turning on his heel and taking another shot at his teacher.

You chuckled and got up, stretching. You supposed the evening was going to be spent supervising the class after all.

The warm summer sun sank into your bones, there were shouts of laugher and shrieks as some of the girls abandoned their gymwear and headed for the waves.

Kanzaki was pulling her top off, revealing her swimsuit underneath.

“You girls came prepared huh?” Nagisa asked.

“I didn’t!” Kayano sounded horrified.

You laughed, “Do you want to hit the waves? I’m sure we could get your swimsuit.”

Kayano looked at the ocean for a long moment, considering but before she could respond Korosensei was standing behind her, lowering her swimsuit into her hands, “There’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy the water as well, Kayano!”

“O-oh! Thanks, Korosensei!” she hurried off to change.

You tugged off your own top, something more casual this time. One of your engrish shirts. This one read in bold print SOMETIMES THE IMPORTANT THING TO DO IS NOT.

You kicked off your shorts and folded the whole lot up, laying it nearby. With a stretch you made a beeline for the water.

The girls were splashing one another and shrieking in amusement. Nakamura was hassling Yada about something. You opted, for now, to wade in the waves, watching as the children played.

Korosensei waved to the girls, “Splash me, too!”

You crossed your arms, watching him.

Was he really okay with the water or-

“Sure!” Hinano flung water his way and he instantly dodged, panic crossing his features.

“ACTUALLY NEVERMIND THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!”

You laughed, “What? Did you forget water is literally one of your weaknesses?”

He pouted, “I was caught up in the moment!”

You looked up the beach at the boys, “You guys coming in or did you forget your swimsuits?”

“I AM!” Okajima yelled over, “THIS IS WHAT SUMMER IS ALL ABOUT!”

You watched as the boy stripped.

Not just to his trunks.

“OKAJIMA!” you shouted, “TRUNKS BACK ON NOW!

The girls were already shrieking for him to go die already and you heard, distinctly, Nakamura saying something about how he shouldn’t showcase something so small.

Okajima huffed but did, eventually, pull his trunks back on. Okano immediately went to kick his ass.

You didn't bother stopping her.

“Now, students, there’ll be fireworks after this!” Korosensei called, excited, “So don't forget! Be sure to make time to play with Sensei too!"

A few of the boys had joined the girls in the surf, thankfully without any more unfortunate revelations of anatomy.

You left the water and joined the octopus on the beach. The sun was warm, the brisk sea breeze filled with the scent of the surf, and the air was filled with the sounds of laughter. It was the picture of a perfect summer vacation.

What a contrast to yesterday…

Maybe it was the fear of yesterday. Maybe it was the knowledge that the world may end.

But in this moment, temporary as it was, you felt thankful and overjoyed.

You were alive, he was alive, the kids were okay, everything was beautiful.

You gave him a smile and saw a flash of pink on his cheeks.

"Mx. Reader, what a pleasure to see you again."

You chuckled, "As if you didn't spend most of your time with me…"

"I think we can both agree it's quite different in the flesh."

You felt heat rise in your cheeks, "True…"

He gave you a lingering look, "While I'm not looking forward to the trip ending, I must say that I am looking forward to a  _ good night's sleep… _ "

His tone was definitely not indicative of sleeping. You waved a hand, blush hot on cheeks.

His eyes suddenly went wide, "Ah- that is, I mean-" he stammered for a few moments in alarm, "I assure you I didn't mean anything untoward…"

You laughed

Adorable.

Absolutely adorable.

“Well, I’m looking forward to it too.”

He looked relieved at that.

“Is that a bikini?” Isogai’s voice caught your attention and you turned, seeing him addressing Irina who was wearing a bikini that… mostly looked like someone had super glued flowers over the more tantalizing bits of her anatomy.

Maehara smirked, delivering a followup, “Or a cry for help?”

“Shut it, you brats!” Irina was fuming, she turned her attention to Karasuma, “Hey, let’s ditch the kids. I saw this adorable little spot up the way that's nice and private-”

Karasuma waved her off, walking away, “No thanks.”

Ouch.

“Man you really are a bitch.” Takebayashi goaded her, pushing up his glasses.

“I beg your pardon!” she gave a shriek of frustration, “You twerps’ve been getting awfully cheeky lately! I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU ARROGANT LITTLE PAIN IN THE ASSES!” she bolted after the boys remaining on the beach who ran ahead, taunting her.

How the hell she was running on the sand in those heels you had no idea.

When you looked back to your companion you found he was gone. You spotted him down by the water’s edge. A hand resting gently on Nagisa’s head as they looked out at the waves.

You quietly took a moment to fetch your phone, snapping a photo.

Something told you they’d both appreciate it later…


	75. Kimodameshi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to Come

Mimura came trotting across the beach to Korosensei, “Hey, uh… it’s getting late. Should we pack it in for the fireworks?”

Korosensei chuckled, “Of course not! Nightfall is perfect for the special event I have planned! If everyone would make their way back to the pavilion, Sensei has an announcement to make!”

The kids, curious, headed up the beach to the resort. You strolled alongside the octopus, bringing up the rear, “An announcement?”

“Nurufufufufu~ Well, after being cooped up for so long and subjected to so much torture I do think it’s time for a little payback.” he looked at you, eyes narrowing.

“Uh huh…”

“And you’re going to help me.”

“Not until you tell me what we’re doing.”

He chuckled, “Oh you’ll see!”

Well… you guessed you weren’t getting answers yet.

When the children were gathered you leaned against one of the posts, waiting to see this announcement. The children were scattered about doing the same or sitting on the wooden floor.

And then Korosensei, in a rush of wind, changed outfits.

“Uh…” you looked at him in his white robes with his white kerchief tied in the distinctive triangle on his head, “Why are you dressed as a yūrei?”

He chuckled and began stretching his limbs behind his head, limbering up.

How the hell one limbers up a tentacle you had no idea but that was what he appeared to be doing.

“Now, students, as a thank you for your assassination attempt yesterday and in celebration of this perfect warm summer night I propose that enjoy a good old fashioned kimodameshi!”

You paused. You’d heard the word before but you couldn’t, for the life of you, remember what it was…

“A test of courage? On our last day here?” Nagisa leaned forward, listening.

“Of course! What better activity for a fine midsummer’s night?” Korosensei chuckled, stretching one of his tentacles nearly around himself.

No, seriously, was stretching something he had to do?

Was he just… composed of muscular hydrostats?

Cephalopods’ tentacles were those so it would make sense…

So were tongues but that was way too creepy to think about right now.

His main body wasn’t really like an octopus mantle so much though…

Well… you guessed it was if it contained his organs…

Did he have organs?

Did any of that even matter given he wasn’t like… spliced with an octopus?

You had a _ lot _ of questions about this octopus’ anatomy.

Karma sat back, a knowing smirk on his face, “Yeah, nice try. You just wanna have fun at our expense.”

“Unlike  _ some _ people, _ I’ve _ been too cooped up in a shell to have any fun at all! On a tropical isle, of all places!” Korosensei protested.

“Well I mean, that is kinda your own fault…” Megu smirked, “You’re the one who decided to go into your Absolute Defense Form…”

“If I hadn’t then you would be dealing with a REAL ghost!” he huffed.

You laughed, “Okay, okay hold on what is this whole test of courage thing exactly?

The kids looked at you in surprise and Hazama suddenly leaned into your view, her black hair hanging haphazardly about her face and her eyes dark, “It’s where you go somewhere creepy and scare each other senseless!”

You paused, “Like what, a haunted house?”

“In a sense.” Korosensei chuckled, “It’s usually an outdoor event and can take place in many different kinds of locations.” he seemed way too excited about this, “Sometimes it’s students daring one another to go places like cemeteries or haunted buildings. Other times it’s more like a haunted house set up by teachers or community members.” he chuckled, “We’ll be doing the latter.”

“Uh… huh.” you squinted at him for a long moment, considering what he’d said before.

Payback…

“So!” he clapped his hands together, “I’ll be the ghosts and,  _ obviously _ , you are free to try to kill me-aka the ghosts- at any time! It’s the perfect activity to wrap up our assassination vacation, don’tcha think?”

The kids seemed to be warming up to the idea. You were noticing some smiles and chatter.

Maehara grinned, “Sounds fun, I guess. I couldn’t do a thing last night, so I’m gonna enjoy myself now!”

Isogai laughed, leaning on his buddy’s shoulder, “Right?”

“But I don’t like being scared…” Hinano said with reservation.

Sugino chuckled, waving a hand, “You’ll be fine! I mean, Korosensei will be playing the ghosts. How scary can they be?”

“Hm, yeah I guess you’re right…”

Given his behavior about acting serious you were inclined to agree. He was scary when he was angry, sure, but when he was trying to be scary? You had a feeling this was going to be a lot like being faked out by cheap haunted house props…

You glanced his way and saw him chuckling to himself.

“The fun will commence at the sea cave! You are to head down to the exit located 300 meters into the cave in pairs. One boy, one girl. Let’s make out way down, shall we?” He chuckled, waving for the children to follow.

Hoo boy…

He definitely had something up his sleeve…

You trotted up alongside him as he led the way, “Okay… what’s your plan here? Going to scare them based on their fears you’ve meticulously cataloged or-”

“No, no!” He smirked, “We’re not just here for fear, my dear. We’re here for something much more interesting.” turning back he waved to the children, “Mx. Reader and I will run on ahead to prepare! Ritsu will give you the signal when it’s time to enter!”

There were a few whistles from Nakamura and Karma. You rolled your eyes and followed the octopus.

When you were deep enough in the cave he turned to you, his ever-present grin larger than usual, “Now,  _ before _ I tell you my plan…”

You found yourself caught up in tentacles, lifted off of the ground, lips pressed to yours. You laughed in surprise returning the kiss. There was a pause, softness came over his features, “I did say the moment I could, I would.”

Heat radiated through your face. You couldn’t stop smiling, “You are just trying to get me to join in on whatever this is gonna be....”

“Of course not! BUT since you brought it up… allow me to explain.”

You sighed.

"Nurufufufufu~ Our students have gotten much stronger. On this trip, I was forced to realize that. But as far as they’ve come, there’s still a little something missing..."

You rocked back on your heels, crossing your arms, "And that is?"

"A love scandal!" he said in utter delight, “I was expecting to see a few couples hook up in our class by summer but they’re all so engrossed in the assassinations that they don’t seem to have room left in their heads for romantic thoughts! So, I figure, it’s about time to give them a little nudge. Shock them right out of their comfort zones and into the relationship zone!”

What… was even happening on this trip anymore?

“Why?”

His tone took a more gentle, genuine turn, “Summer romance is a staple of the season and I’m here to ensure my students have a _ perfect _ summer. Aren’t they lucky to have such a cool teacher?”

You smiled a bit, that was actually… really sweet-

“Besides, I happen to know _ for a fact _ that the boys have ranked the girls they like in the classroom. And there's  _ quite  _ a few pairs I think are inclined to hit it off given the chance…”

Well, it  _ was _ really sweet. 

Until he kept talking… 

“Also, it will give me so much fodder for novel writing later AND-" he leaned in close, his grin widening, "Don't you want to get a little payback for them stealing those photos and using you in the assassination attempt?"

You thought of Karma and Nakamura whistling outside...

...

_ Goddammit. _

“Okay, okay, just stoooop…” you put a hand on his face with a laugh. In the silence he’d been slowly leaning in closer to pressure you.

“So…” you looked up at him, “How does a haunted house work into this?”

“Simple!” he grinned, “The suspension bridge effect!”

“The what?”

“The suspension bridge affect. Its name derives from the test that supports it as people were frightened during the test using a suspension bridge. It's also known as the misattribution of arousal.” he held up a hand, gesturing. He was falling into teaching mode, as usual, “Being scared makes one's heart race. When they happen to see someone of the opposite sex while afraid they're more inclined to consider them more attractive because they interpret their body's reaction as being one of attraction."

You looked at him skeptically, "Uh huh..."

"After all, there’s nothing quite like abject terror for bringing two people together!" his voice was filled with glee.

You had some questions as to how that would relate to, say, LGBT individuals but sure...

Wait a minute...

You looked at him, suddenly suspicious, "You know... I was terrified the first time you took me flying..."

He faltered, staring at you.

“And you seemed  _ pretty insistent _ on flying with me a lot of other times too…”

That was one  _ panicked _ octopus, “I assure you that was not my intention in the slightest!” his voice pitched up in alarm, “I would never try to-”

“Do what you’re doing to the kids to me?” you smirked at him.

He went to a bright pink and you laughed a bit.

“Look, I mean, even if that was how it started? That’s not where we’re at now.” you reached out, grazing your fingers along his arm.

He relaxed, just a bit and nodded, “Right…”

“Now, what are you wanting to do here because they’re going to think we’re the ones making out if we stand here too long.”

He was bright pink, “Would that we had time- ANYWAY! I was thinking…”

And that was how you wound up playing matchmaker.

Not long after, the ‘scares’ were set up and the arrangements made. There had been quite a bit of bickering between the two of you. You both had very different ideas of how a haunted house should work…

And some very different opinions on which kids should be paired off.

In the end, you conceded to his insistence on ‘proving his shipping chart right’.

He was going to be pretty disappointed when he realized that some of these pairs had no chemistry…

“Alright, Ritsu!” Korosensei chuckled, “Send through the pairs I listed for you!”

“Okay! Oh…” there was a pause, “Wait… Korosensei, I’m walking through?”

“Of course, you’re a part of this classroom!” he grinned.

“Okay!” she chirped, vanishing from his phone screen.

He grinned over at you, “It’s showtime!”

Ohhhh boy…

Well this was happenin-

There was a flurry of motion and you found yourself dressed in similar white robes to him. And your face… 

You touched your face to see white paint.

He’d even done make up for you.

Of course.

And-

He’d had a costume change.

“What are you supposed to be?”

“Ancient Ryukyu royalty of course!”

“Oh, of course!” you threw up your hands.

He chuckled and just like that he was gone. You shook your head and hid behind some of the rocks nearby. 

Your job was to 'gather information'. Which was really just his way of asking you to eavesdrop and see how his tactics were working.

There were plenty of pockets and alcoves along the walls. You'd been given some glowsticks since the blue lighting "added to the atmosphere" and you found yourself listening in as Nagisa and Kayano approached.

"Ah…" Nagisa gave a little hiss of pain. You could see the light of his flashlight bouncing off the rocks.

"Bruised, huh?" Kayano's voice was full of concern, "Are you sure you're up to this?"

There was a chuckle, "I'll be fine. I mean after yesterday something like this should be easy, right?"

"Right…” she didn’t sound too sure about that, “Places like this creep me out. Does it not bother you?”

“Nah. I don’t mind spooky stuff so much, actually. Jump scares, though, I’m not a real big fan of. And we’re talking about Korosensei here. If he seriously tries to scare us we could be in trouble…”

The distinct sound of a shamisen started to sound. You peeked out of your hiding place as balls of flame ‘manifested’ along the cavern walls, illuminating the place in a flickering blue flame. He stepped forward into the light, plucking at the instrument. He’d gone a sickly looking green and added some fake blood in the time you’d hidden. You rolled your eyes, watching.

The pair screamed in shock.

Really?

Well they were kids and they hadn’t been watching him fuss with decorations for the last ten minutes so…

“Beware… You have entered a cave drenched in blood and tragedy. For here, routed in battle, members of the Ryukyu royalty met a most terrible and violent end.”

“Really…?” a tremor had entered Kayano’s voice.

You’d gotten a lovely little lecture on this while he was setting things up. Ryukyu had been the name of the kingdom before it had become Okinawa. It had changed hands and been through some interesting political changes over the years. Part of the reason for all the ghost stories. The US military, Japanese military, a whole nation that had been taken over…

There were some dark stuff that happened here.

Just… not specifically in this cave.

“He’s probably making it up to make it seem more realistic,” Nagisa said dismissively.

The octopus chose that moment to pop up behind them, “You must stay together at all times. Lest the wandering souls curse you to death the moment you are alone…”

The pair tensed and quickly made their way forward, alarmed.

“Th-this is sounding pretty real. Let’s get through this quick, Nagisa!”

They walked past you, the beam of their flashlight not reaching you.

You heard the sarcasm in Nagisa’s voice as Korosensei began to greet the next pair, “Talk about _ realism _ … I can hear him telling the pair behind us  _ the exact same story _ . So spooky.”

He waved his hands a bit with a chuckle and you could see Kayano relax a bit, “Yeah, I guess you’re right… kinda a stretch to imagine him being a real ghost…”

Well… that sounded like your cue.

You approached the pair quietly from behind.

“Yeah, I mean, what ghost would look like that anyway?” Nagisa chuckled.

You leaned in between them, “What should we look like then?”

Panicked screams, Nagisa immediately threw back an elbow and you ducked back, still getting a good crack to the nose.

“Mx. Reader!” Kayano’s voice rose with alarm.

You winced but couldn’t help but laugh, “Okay, that was my bad. I should probably have scared you guys from further back…”

“Uh… hey, you um…”

You felt what Nagisa was trying to point out immediately. He’d bloodied your nose.

You heard some screaming behind you and waved them on, holding your sleeve up to your nose, “It’s fine, go on!”

They looked unsure but finally moved on ahead.

So much for not getting hurt…

You turned and found yourself face to face with Nakamura and Isogai. Moving your hand from your face, you revealed the blood smeared across it and gave them a hard stare.

Still on edge from Korosensei’s story, they immediately bolted.

“Is everything okay, Rea-” the octopus instantly broke off in a scream at your appearance and bolted.

“Jeez… uh… okay then… ” you made your way to his post since he had abandoned it. As you entered the light you found yourself face to face with Sugino and Kanzaki.

Well shit. Time for some acting…

You’d had to memorized all of like four lines for this, just in case.

“You’ve come to the resting place of Ryukyu royalty… I hope you’re prepared. The way ahead is treacherous.” you lowered your sleeve again, some of the blood dripping down your face, “Stay by one another’s side. Anyone caught alone will surely die.”

The pair looked unnerved, Kanzaki actually gripped Sugino’s arm a bit as they edged around you. You turned, continuing to stare at them as they vanished into the darkness ahead.

“Hey, Ritsu?” you pulled out your phone, “Think you can stall the next group by like five minutes?”

“Sure thing!”

There was a rush of wind and the octopus had returned. Spotting you he looked ready to panic again. You reached out, grabbing his arm, “Hey, doofus, it’s me. Nagisa gave me a good whack. Creeped the fuck out of the kids so far though. Told Ritsu to stall the next group so I could get this tidied up though. Little help?”

And just like that, you were wearing something a clean white robe with a handkerchief pressed to your nose, “I am so sorry, Reader I didn’t realiz-”

“You really got scared of me?” you laughed, “You literally dressed me up in this nonsense!”

He was pouting, “Yeah but you surprised me!”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re ridiculous.”

“Wait, if you’re here… who is keeping notes on the children?!”

“No one. Want me to tag along after Sugino and Kanzaki?”

“Let’s make this a bit faster.”

And suddenly you were rocketing through the dark being carried by the octopus.

Which meant you caught up with the pair damn near instantly. You found yourself deposited behind a rock and looking at the doors he’d set up across the cavern ahead. 

Ohhhh boy.

You propped your chin on your hand. You’d told him this one was stupid. He didn’t believe you.

“Hm… this is kinda scary, isn’t it, Sugino?”

You watched as the pair moved forward. They seemed to have recovered from the scare you’d given them at least a bit.

“Don’t worry, Kanzaki!” Sugino’s voice was filled with teenage bravado, “I’ll protect you if anything bad happens!”

Korosensei appeared before them, hovering. His voice was dark and dramatic as he spoke, “Among those who escaped was a married couple but they were pursued, and so they committed suicide together huddled upon this chair.” he gestured to a dim corner of the cavern and Sugino swung his flashlight, illuminating the ridiculous loveseat he’d procured, “Yes, this is the very chair upon which it happened…  _ Mwahahaha… _ ”

The thing was covered in heart patterns in graceful arches and curves. It looked like something tacky you’d see being sold for Valentine's day.

The kids stared at it, as dubious as you were.

Korosensei continued in his dramatic voice, “This is a traditional Ryukyu couples bench. You sit here together for one minute and the cursed door opens.”

“What kind of tradition is that?!” Sugino demanded but Korosensei had retreated, appearing by your side.

The pair looked at one another awkwardly. Kanzaki shrugged, taking a seat. Sugino joined her after a moment and the pair sat looking uncomfortable.

You glanced over at him to see him watching with rapt attention.

After a few moments, he muttered to himself, “C’mon… talk to each other!”

“You know… this isn’t going to work.” you shook your head.

“It will! You’ll see! Any minute now they’ll be holding hands or-”

The door opened ahead and you watched as your students rose, leaving.

“Yeah? Really?”

He huffed, “Okay the next pair, definitely!”

You were scooped up again and deposited behind another rock.

“You could give me some warning!”

He chuckled, “But that would ruin the fun! Wait here, the next group should be coming in, I need to greet them.”

He gave you a quick peck on the lips and vanished in a rush of wind.

This…

This was where you had chosen to lay your affections…

You hunkered down to wait.

After a few moments, there was another rush of air… right before Okajima and Hinano showed up.

The pair gasped in alarm as one of the walls lit up.

You had to give him credit. This _ particular  _ scare wasn’t half bad. He’d rigged a pair of shōji screens across an alcove in the wall and illuminated them with a lantern. His shadow loomed large on the screen as he sharpened a knife. He was clearly dressed as an oni, complete with horns.

“I must see blood… I can’t let go of the grudge over the slaughter of my people… until I see blood….” his voice was dark and gravelly.

The pair recoiled a bit at the visual.

Then he, of course, went and ruined it.

“ I must see blood…  _ or _ … I must see a lovey-dovey couple! Either of the two will satisfy me.”

The pair looked at one another. Okajima waggled his eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes, moving ahead.

As they left he peeked out from the screen looking disappointed.

You smirked, “You’re pushing this waaaaay too hard. It’s not scary anymore.”

“Sure it is!” he said, irritated, “You’ll see! Next pair for sure!”

You found yourself ricocheted back to the next pair.

At this point you were losing track of where, exactly, you were in this cave.

With a sigh, you leaned against a rock where he placed you. This was quickly turning into him trying to prove his ships right more than a haunted house.

Maehara and Okano rounded the bend, bb guns at the ready.

More pale blue flames appeared along the walls. It was a cute little trick with copper chloride soaked torches from what he’d told you when he’d set it up.

Skulls dangled from the ceiling, rattling as the octopus lent them his voice, “We entered the cave to protect ourselves but we ran out of food eventually we began to fight over a single bone for sustenance… soon you will do the same.”

The pair fell into stance, back to back, bb guns at the ready.

As a single stick of pocky dropped down, dangling on a string beside them.

“Go on! Start eating it from both sides!”

You couldn’t help it at this point. You died laughing. 

“IT’S THE POCKY GAME!” Okano sounded pissed.

“Nooooo it’s a ghostly teeeeeest~”

The pair immediately began shooting towards the source of his voice.

Maehara’s voice echoed against the walls as he yelled, “What are you trying to do, Korosensei?!”

“THIS ISN’T SCARY AT ALL!” Okano agreed.

There was a rush of breeze past you as he fled. The pair huffed.

“Ugh, could he at least be subtle about it?!” Okano flicked the pocky, causing it to spin.

“I know right?” Maehara shook his head, “Like we’d play the pocky game again.”

…

_ Again? _

Okay then.

“Hey… Maehara…”

He turned to look back at her, “Yeah?”

There was a long pause.

“What?” he laughed, “You actually scared?”

“NO!” she stormed past him.

Good going, copper top.

She was probably going to  _ actually _ try to talk to you about it…

“Hey! Okano! Wait up!” he ran after her, “What’s your problem?”

Their voices began to fade into the distance.

And like magic the octopus arrived, “It’s time for a little change of scene I think.”

“What?” you looked at him, leaning over the rock, “Actually going to try to scare them this time?”

He gave you a look and in a flash, you were looking at…

“Dude, Twister is not scary.”

“But it certainly involves interaction!” he chuckled.

“Who is coming through next?”

“Karma and Okuda.”

“Okay, yeah, after Nagisa I’m not trying to jump Karma too. The last thing I want is a nose full of wasabi.”

“Just let my set up work its magic and tell me what happens!”

“Fiiiiine.”

He zipped off and you hunkered down behind the rock again, waiting.

It wasn’t long until you heard voices approaching.

“You were scared of him because he didn’t scare you?” it was Okuda’s voice, soft against the walls of the cavern.

Karma’s self-assured tone echoed back to her, “Yup. I was watching Nagisa back there and honestly speaking, it knocked me on my ass. Not because he defeated Takaoka. It was  _ after _ he defeated Takaoka and came back down from the roof. There was nothing scary about Nagisa even though he managed to beat a foe as formidable as Takaoka. We tend to be cautious around powerful people but Nagisa went back to join the others as if nothing had happened. He doesn’t look powerful. He doesn’t like to stand out. He just seemed embarrassed.”

The echo of footsteps came closer.

Karma continued, “I mean, in a fight with him? I’d win for sure. But winning and losing, under those circumstances, doesn’t matter much to an assassin. People who don’t put you on your guard. People who don’t scare you… are probably the most dangerous. I never realized that before seeing Nagisa. That’s when I first realized I was actually most afraid of not being afraid.”

Okuda made a soft sound in response. You peeked out carefully to see them walking ahead. Karma paused and smirked over at her, “Still… I won’t lose.  _ I’ll _ be the one to kill Korosensei.”

For the first time since you entered the cave, you felt a shiver of fear run down your spine.

The boy spoke with total conviction…

“I can’t wait to see who finally ends up killing him!” Okuda said chipperly.

You felt your gut twist.

At this rate you were going to need a vacation from this vacation…

“Hang on a second…” you watched as Karma skimmed the flashlight over the game of twister laid out, “Thought this was supposed to be a kimodameshi. ‘Cause it’s lookin’ to me like the Octopus has something a little different in mind.” he chuckled, “Too bad he’s the biggest scaredy-cat in E class.”

Okuda laughed a bit at that, “Maybe Hazama can set up a proper one after this…”

He looked at her, his face lighting up, “You know that’s not a half-bad idea!” he patted her shoulder as they moved ahead, “I bet we could practically scare him to death…”

“Yeah!”

You heard a familiar shriek from the cave entrance, “MONSTER!”

He’d spooked himself again sounded like.

Some laughter echoed through the cavern and then Korosensei came shooting past you, vanishing into another alcove.

You sighed, getting up and approaching where he’d vanished to. You heard him talking to himself in alarm.

“Wh-What was that ghost I just saw? Not the actual spirit of an actual Ryukyu ruler!” he was pacing fretfully.

Your poor, poor idiot.

You approached him, “Hey, you oka-”

“GHOST!” he shrieked, practically vanishing.

You groaned.

What a fucking idiot-

“HE’S GOT NO EYES!”

You turned towards the sound to hear Hayami’s voice, “What was that?”

Chiba reply, “He’s panicking for no reason whatsoever. And I have too got eyes!”

The octopus was continuing to shriek as he ricocheted around the cavern.

“I JUST FELT SOMETHING SLITHERY! AH! A CREEPY JAPANESE DOLL!”

You shook your head. At this point, you were calling this ‘test of courage’ a failure. You wandered back to the main corridor of the cave just in time to run into Chiba and Hayami, who instantly held up their bb guns at you.

You laughed and held up your hands, “It’s just me. The octopus has uh… you know… ”

“Yeah. Guess the kimodameshi is over.” Hayami said in her usual monotone, “Guess we’ll just head for the exit.”

“Probably a good idea.” you agreed.

“A MUSHROOM PERSON FROM MATANGO?!”

You rolled your eyes.

“HEY! I DON'T LOOK THAT MUCH LIKE A MUSHROOM!” Mimura yelled back.

The boy just had a bowl cut.

You sighed and took the handkerchief off your head, “Let me see if I can get this moron to chill.”

Chiba gave a wave, “Good luck with that.”

“AH! A KUNEKUNE!”

“WE’RE NOT EVEN IN A RICE FIELD!” Sugaya called back, offended.

Where was this idiot? You shrugged out of the white kimono he’d put on you, hanging it over your shoulder.

You passed by Mimura and Fuwa.

“He’s really going crazy, huh?” Fuwa laughed.

“Yeah, going to try to get him to chill…” you said.

Sugaya and Yada passed not long after. You gave them a little wave.

Before you could say anything you heard Korosensei’s voice close by followed by a rush of wind as he rocketed past.

“IS THAT THE GIRL OF THE GAP?!”

Kimura yelled back, “I’M NOT EVEN A GIRL!”

You sighed and leaned against the wall, cracking another of the glowsticks you’d been given. Were you going to have to wait 'til this moron wore himself out?

Kimura and Megu rounded the bend and you gave them a wave. Kimura was still grumbling.

“Go on ahead. I gotta wrangle the octopus.”

You made your way towards the entrance and heard, “HORROR CARTOONIST SHIGERU MIZUKI!”

Why… was that even scary? You sighed as Takebayashi strolled up to you. You could see Ritsu on his phone screen, peeking out of his pocket.

“Is the yelling common during a kimodameshi?” Ritsu asked.

“Not this kind of yelling.” Takebayashi sighed.

“Yeah, sorry, he’s somehow managed to scare himself. You guys go on ahead.”

Takbayashi gave a nod and moved ahead.

You paused for a moment and did a bit of mental math.

You hadn’t seen any of Terasaka’s group…

There was proper screaming from deeper in the cave.

Wha-

You yelped as you were hauled off of your feet before realizing it was the octopus. You were bundled in his robe quickly.

“That sounded like the children!” he said, racing along the corridor to-

The kids were clustered up, laughing. Hazama had a smirk on her face, Terasaka and the others with her.

“THAT’S how you scare someone.” she said proudly.

You could see Kimura sitting on the ground looking shaken.

“See? They’re better at this than you are.” you said, looking up at Korosensei.

“Oh, there you two are.” Karma smirked, “Jeez, knew you two were close but using a class vacation to get into his clothes, Mx. Reader? Really?”

You felt your face heat up. Korosensei swiftly unbundled you and turned to the boy, “Karma, you know very well that that’s the safest method of Mach 20 travel for-”

The boy smirked, “Yeah? Starting to think you two were just in here having a date with all the romantic stuff around.”

“No need to be embarrassed about it, you know.” Nakamura chimed in, grinning, “I mean being in scary places normally gets people in the mood, right?”

You sighed and looked over at him, “Pretty sure your little setup plan didn’t work.”

“Surprised folks as old as you are playing the Pocky game though.” Maehara smirked.

“Don’t drag me into this. This was literally all his idea!” you gestured at the octopus who was progressively turning pink, “He’s the one trying to couple you off!”

“Wait, THAT’S what this was about?” Sugino said, going bright red.

“Yeah.” you looked over to Korosensei, “And this is why I said, just go more traditional scares!”

“What’s a disgrace…” he put his face in his hands, “What a total disgrace...”

“Can we get out of here?” Nagisa said, looking back at the group, “It’s kinda chilly… ”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Megu agreed.

You followed your students out of the cavern, the octopus trailing behind, dejected.

Once outside, Korosensei immediately dropped to the ground in a dogeza, “I’m so sorry children! I just wanted this to work!”

“So let me get this straight.” Maehara was leaning against a rock, “You wanted to use the suspension-bridge effect to scare us into hookin’ up so you could get gossip material?” 

“You were trying too hard. It was way too easy to spot.” Yada laughed, “Who puts romantic stuff in a haunted house?”

Fuwa stood with her hands on her hips, “It was so obvious you were trying to hook us up because you tried to do that before you even started scaring us! I mean, boy-girl pairs? Come on.”

The octopus looked on the verge of a tantrum, his voice spiking in alarm, “What’s wrong with wanting to see tender feelings blossom between two bright, young things before their best years are behind them?! I was trying to keep you from marrying someone random! And I wanted to tease you about it!”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. He really knew how to just completely ruin possibly salvageable comments…

“Are you crying from frustration?” Hinano laughed.

He absolutely was.

What a drama queen.

Sugaya sighed, “Are we sure he’s an adult?”

“He’s more like a pervy cupid…” Kimura huffed.

Nakamura stepped up, leaning down to look at the octopus who was now sitting up, “Korosensei! You shouldn’t butt into our business like this. Kids our age don’t like other people meddling in their romantic lives, you know. And no offense, but isn’t shipping us sorta creepy? Not everyone’s a romantic perv like you!”

“All right, Nakamura. I get it.” he responded, completely cowed by her disapproval.

You had some questions about what constituted a ‘romantic perv’ but-

She rounded on you, “And Mx. Reader why didn’t you stop him?”

“I’m sorry do I look like I have a leash and a vest that says ‘Octopus Wrangler’? You know that when he gets going he’s next to impossible to stop. ALSO,” you looked at her, “You’re one to talk about butting into people’s business when you stole photos from my laptop for the assassination plan.”

“Our job is to assassinate him!” Nakamura laughed.

“Yes, but does that give you a free pass to get into other people’s business? You kids keep trying to butt into my love life.”

“I mean if it concerns the octopus it kinda our business...” Karma shrugged.

“My love life doesn’t involve the octo-”

Your lie was cut off by Irina’s voice from the cave exit, “You call that a test of courage? There was no one in there! What a waste.”

She was latched onto Karasuma’s arm tightly, looking irritated.

Karasuma, meanwhile, looked exhausted, “You can let go of my arm any day now. I told you to stop clinging to me when we entered the cave. I’m still recovering and you’re practically knocking me over.”

“And you call yourself a man?! You should be honored to be the chivalrous escort to a beautiful woman!” she snarked.

All of you were watching the display attentively.

Irina looked away and you noticed, briefly, a touch of hurt in her expression, “You’re so stupid...”

Karasuma sighed, pulling his arm away. Irina, meanwhile, had finally noticed your group and was trying to stealthily slip back into her distant, bitchy persona.

The kids immediately clustered up in a conspiratory group.

“You were right!” Nakamura looked at you.

You stared at her in surprise, “What?”

“About Miss Bitch and Mr. K!” Kayano chirped.

Oh…

Your comments on the boat came back to you. You’d almost completely forgotten you’d thrown those two under the bus to get the kids off your back.

“I had a hunch about it…” Maehara said, “She seemed a little too pissed that he wasn’t giving her attention. Kind of a normal girl thing.”

You noticed Okano glaring at him sharply at that statement.

_ Copper Top, you are going to get your ass kicked talking like that… _

Hinano spoke up, “She  _ is _ always around him.”

“And Mx. Reader said she specifically wanted to room with him here…” Yada added.

“Well…” Maehara grinned, looking towards Irina who was staring out at the ocean, “What should we do about it?”

Nakamura smirked, “We don’t head back till tomorrow morning, so there’s still time.~”

Korosensei shot up, looking at them, “Then let’s hook them up!”

“Nakamura, weren’t you just complaining abou-” you were cut off by the students immediately launching into tactics.

Great.

_ Great. _

Korosensei glanced over at you and gave a wink.

Well… at least the kids were off your case…


	76. What it Means to Kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come

"Hey, Miss Bitch! You strike out with Mr. K again?" Maehara grinned trotting up to her.

"Oh shut up." She rolled her eyes.

"Hey, hey, relax. We wanna help you.~" Nakamura joined him on Irina's other side.

"I've seen what you brats get up to. No thanks." She stormed off to the pavilion, the kids in hot pursuit.

“But we wanna help!” Nakamura called after her.

Once at the pavilion, Irina threw herself into a chair dramatically, "How obtuse can a guy be?"

Kimura leaned against one of the posts surveying her, "It’s kind of a surprise that you’re not getting anywhere."

Maehara chuckled, "Yeah. This isn’t like you. You’re known for wrapping guys around your little finger."

Kayano smirked, "But you’re actually shy when it comes to your own relationships?" A sudden flash of realization crossed her face, "Oh my gosh! Professor Bitch have you ever had a _real_ relationship before?"

Everyone stared at her in surprise. The blonde went very red, sitting up, "Of _course_ I have! But what can I do?! That guy is as straight-laced as they come! I take pride in my job. I have more than a _thousand_ techniques to make men fall for me. So if I use them to make him fall in love with me… I’ll…" she huffed, sitting back and crossing her arms, "It doesn't matter anyway cause it's not like I'm in love with him."

"What? It’s not love?" Maehara smirked.

Okajima leaned over on one of the chairs, "Maybe she just wants to take him to pound town."

"Shut it, ya twerp!" Irina snapped at him.

He just grinned in response.

She turned back to Maehara, "Love? Don’t make me laugh! He’s a rare bird, that’s all- I’m attracted to the challenge of conquering a world-class square! And while I was all worked up, trying to get him to fall for me, before I knew it, I… I got… carried away…"

The kids were all looking at her in surprise.

That…

"That… was kind of adorable." Sugino practically read your mind.

"More like embarrassing." Maehara joked.

Irina shot him a dirty look, "Don’t judge me!"

"Relax, Ms. Bitch." He smirked, "Why not leave it to us? Let us set the stage and you can take it from there."

Nakamura leaned in with a grin, "Good idea!"

_Ah, yes, like you weren't all planning this ten minutes ago..._

You leaned on Irina's chair as the children chattered about ideas.

Kayano giggled, "Ooh! It’s gonna be so romantic!"

Isogai nodded to the group, "Alright! The operation will commence at dinner tonight."

Irina faltered, looking at them in surprise. It was clear she hadn't expected them to actually be invested. You grinned down at her, "I mean didn't _you_ say you should ask for what you want?"

Irina looked up at you to say something sharp but paused, her expression softening. She turned from you to the kids, a note of flattered embarrassment in her voice, "You guys…"

Okajima held up a sign that read "Karasuma Irina Operation Hookup".

Korosensei reappeared, now dressed in his full businessman outfit, "Excellent! In that case, I call the Class 3-E Love Consultant Meeting to order."

Irina didn't seem impressed with his involvement, "Eager much, Octopus?"

Korosensei chuckled, "Come now, it’s only _natural_ to encourage romance between colleagues. A female educator _aching_ for the touch of her stoic counterpart. If that’s not a romantic best-seller in the making, I don’t know what is!"

You noticed him glancing at you as he spoke. A blush rose in your cheeks.

"You’re _clearly_ planning an erotic novel." Nagisa sighed.

Wow, that uh… _thanks, Nagisa_ . That didn't make this awkward for you _at all_.

Maehara looked to Irina, "For starters Miss Bitch we need to do something about your clothes."

He had a point. Right now she was wearing short shorts, a vest with one button at the bottom valiantly holding the front together, and the only thing keeping her tits from escaping was a tube top that barely had enough material to cover them.

"Totally." Nakamura agreed, "Revealing might be appealing for some, but parading the goods doesn’t cut it for a square Japanese guy like Mr. Karasuma. You should be more… modest."

"Uh… modest?" Irina looked at her quizzically.

Nakamura nodded, "Yeah, like… Kanzaki. Use the way she dresses as a model and you can’t go wrong. As a matter of fact." She turned to the girl in question, "Is what you wore yesterday dry? Could you lend it to her?"

Kanzaki gave a smile, "Yeah, of course."

With that, she ran off towards the hotel.

The kids were still chatting about plans when Irina spoke up, “Why are you brats doing this?”

Nakamura laughed, “Cause it’s fun. Besides, you’re awesome, Miss Bitch. You deserve to be happy.”

Irina faltered at that.

“Yeah,” Yada smiled, “And Mr. Karasuma definitely needs to loosen up.”

“You know, Irina, it’s almost like you’re a _part_ of this classroom and people _care_ about you.” you chuckled.

She fell silent, her expression shifting. It looked like she might not have actually considered that. She covered her moment with snark, “More like you care about juicy details.”

Korosensei chuckled, pulling out a notepad and pen, “Of course if you don’t mind sharing~”

“Shut up you perv!” she rolled her eyes.

You noticed that, overall, she seemed softer than usual.

Kanzaki reappeared a few moments later with her dress over one arm. It was a cute white dress with ruffles, a collar, buttons near the neckline, and a ribbon tie. As you recalled, Kanzaki had worn it with a pair of tights. Irina looked at the outfit skeptically before heading into the hotel to change. 

“You think she’s got a chance?” you glanced over at the octopus.

“She is a world-class seductress.” he chuckled, “If anyone could get Mr. Karasuma to crack I would think it would be her.”

“I dunno. The guy is pretty closed off about personal stuff…”

He leaned in, smirking at you, “Hmmm, reminds me of someone else.”

You put a hand on his face, shoving him back, “I don’t think you can really say that now, can you?”

He chuckled and straightened up.

“Alright, now what?” Irina asked.

Nakamura turned, “See? One piece of clothing and your whole look… uh...”

Irina stood there in Kanzaki’s dress, the top buttons undone except for one that was barely clinging together. The whole thing clung to her more like a negligee than a gown. 

There were exclamations from the kids.

“Holy shit!”

“Uh… can you even _wear_ that in public?!”

“H-how’d that make her even _sexier?!_ ”

Sugaya rubbed his chin, eyeing her, “For starters, the fit’s a little off in places.”

“Yeah, that’s too small for you, Miss Bitch,” Yoshida said bluntly.

Okajima, meanwhile, was practically drooling, “Man, I don’t even wanna tell you what I think about when Kanzaki’s in that thing.”

Kanzaki was covering her face in alarm.

Sugino reached over, slapping Okajima across the back of his head, “Hey, knock it off!”

Okajima winced, rubbing his head, “Hey!”

You turned your attention to Irina, satisfied that Sugino had that particular situation under control, “Yeah that thing is gonna bust off you the second you do so much as breathe.”

“YES!” Okajima shouted in excitement.

“Shut it, twerp!” Irina snapped at him.

“Well, it’s a good thing that you came prepared.” you grinned at Irina.

Irina raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“ _I_ bought _you_ an outfit. Remember?”

“Oh god _no_ , you want me to go on a _date_ in that?!”

“I bet the kids would approve.~”

The kids were, at this point, giving Irina their rapt attention.

Grumbling, she headed back inside.

“I have to admit, I’m quite curious as to what you’ve chosen for her.” Korosensei glanced at you.

“It’s pretty simple.” you shrugged.

When Irina returned she looked sulky but was dressed in the outfit you’d helped choose. Loose shorts, longer than her usual ones. An off the shoulder top with loose sleeves, white with a teal fade towards the bottom. And a wide black belt at her waist. She did an unenthusiastic turn around for the kids.

Nakamura nodded, “We can work with this I think. She’s still spilling out but,” she shrugged, “what're ya gonna do?”

“Well, whatever. We can’t do anything about her curves.” Okano sighed, “The important thing isn’t her boobs, it’s if they have good chemistry. Bust size doesn’t really matter that much anyway.”

Kayano was enthusiastically nodding in the background.

"Yeah. We can’t fix the sexy, we’ll just have to work around it." Nakamura joked.

The octopus adjusted the glasses of his costume, "Have we established Mr. Karasuma’s type?"

Yada piped up, "There was a woman in a TV commercial he was really into. He said ‘she’s the ideal woman’!"

"Commercial?" You looked over at her in surprise.

"Yeah, it’s that one for the sporting goods place? Hold on…" 

She pulled out her phone and Ritsu was already on screen, "This one?"

A video of three women dressed in Sentai gear and shooting lasers from their eyes appeared. It was typical Japanese odd advertising. The women were all buff with black hair in bobs.

"Yeah!" Yada nodded, holding up her phone, "See? He was even more excited that there were three of them."

You laughed, "What?"

"Pretty sure that's his ideal military type." Isogai made a face.

"Or ideal fighting power." Okano sighed.

"Why was he excited about three of them???" Yoshida sounded dubious.

Takebayashi pushed up his glasses, "Um… maybe he just meant he likes strong women? But in that case, it’s even more hopeless, given Miss Bitch’s muscles… or lack thereof…"

Irna gave a little growl of dissatisfaction.

"Well, the quickest way to a man’s heart is his stomach." Okuda ventured,"How about cooking something for him? The hotel’s dinners are pretty grand, but why not eat his favorite dish together, just the two of you?"

"Not a bad idea," you agreed.

After all, it helped you and the octopus bond. And as shitty as Takaoka was he _had_ been right about getting to know people by sharing a meal...

"Trouble is," Maehara sighed, "I’ve never seen Mr. Karasuma eat anything other than hamburgers and instant noodles…"

"Doesn’t exactly set the mood for a romantic evening." Kayano leaned against one of the pillars of the pavilion looking annoyed.

Nakamura sagged against a pillar herself, "Yeah, that’s just too pitiful for a one on one date." 

"This match was doomed from the start! Doesn’t this guy have any weaknesses?!" Korosensei clenched a tentacle in frustration.

Maehara made a face, "I’m starting to think Mr. Karasuma’s the problem here." 

"Right? Right?" Irina's voice was filled with triumph at the validation, "HE’S SUCH AN IDIOT!"

Korosensei, by this point, had his head in his hands, "I should have seen it before. A man who never laughs at my jokes is a lost cause!"

You rolled your eyes, "You guys are overthinking this."

"What do you know?!" Irina huffed, "You're not dating anyone and you didn't want my dating tips!"

"True." You lied, "But it's not that complicated. You just gotta be honest with him. That's how relationships work…"

She looked up at you, "That's literally not-"

"What do you do?"

She shut up abruptly, eyes going wide slightly. With a little huff, she glared at you, "So what am I supposed to do? You gonna give me that 'just be yourself' lecture?"

"I'm actually going to give you your own advice."

She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

You crouched down to be on her eye level when you spoke next, "If you don’t let people in then they can’t leave. But if you don’t let them in at all you never get to see if they’ll stay either.”

Her face twisted, eyes sharpening, "I give him plenty of opportunities to get in."

You heard Okajima make a grunt of pain as someone elbowed him to prevent him from making a joke.

"Have you?" You looked at her seriously, "What does he know about you? Like really know?"

She paused, and for a moment you could see just how young she really was. Twenty years old but in this moment you could see the flash of worry of a little girl from a warzone.

"Okay, I get it." She looked away suddenly.

"Alright! We're up against the odds but even so, let’s just do what we can before dinner." Korosensei turned to the kids, "The ladies are in charge of hair and makeup. The gentlemen are tasked with setting just the right ambiance for the table." 

There was a chorus of cheers from the kids as they set to work.

Well… this was going to be interesting. Part of you wondered if you should give Karasuma a heads up…

Nah, then he definitely wouldn't show.

While the children bustled about, preparing things, you made your way over to the octopus. He chuckled, eyeing you, "Well, this is certainly a good distraction."

"And almost everyone is having fun…" you saw Hinano looking dismayed over the proceedings, "Looks like Hinano really does have a crush on Karasuma."

"Ah, youth." He chuckled, "Schoolgirl crushes, love letters, first kisses, first heartbreaks… "

He'd gone a light pink and sounded wistful.

Suddenly everything clicked.

_"A world without trust or kindness. Parents sold their children. Friends and lovers betrayed each other in a heartbeat."_

He'd never had this...

_"What’s wrong with wanting to see tender feelings blossom between two bright, young things before their best years are behind them?!"_

What he knew of these things were what he'd read, watched, and seen…

_"I was trying to keep you from marrying someone random!"_

Friends and lovers betrayed each other in a heartbeat...

 _"Summer romance is a staple of the season and I’m here to ensure my students have a_ perfect _summer."_

Everything he was trying to set up or hoped to achieve with the kids, Irina, and Karasuma, it was the summation of things he'd missed out on. Things he'd never had.

Even with his own ongoing romance, he was still looking to live vicariously through his students.

And knowing his past?

You couldn't really blame him.

"Nurufufufu~ I see your Detective Face is back."

You blushed, "Shut up."

He leaned down, his voice low and soft, "Trying to think of the best way to seduce me perhaps?" 

HA OKAY THANKS OCTOPUS

You felt all of you blood rush to your face.

"Not right now..."

"Hmmm implying you have thought about it.~" his voice was light, teasing.

You sighed, "But that's honestly too easy. I could just slap a pinup on my shirt and your tentacles would be all aquiver."

"Reader!" He yelped.

You just flashed him a grin.

He'd gone pink and pouty, "I'm a bit harder to get than that!"

"Yeah?" You made sure the coast was clear and then leaned in, your voice low, "Bold words from someone who's already spent time in my bed."

Wow. That was a new shade of pink from the octopus. He covered his face in alarm and you chuckled.

This?

This was fun.

"What're you two lovebirds up to?" Karma drawled, meandering over.

"I'm giving him a hard time about his piss poor haunted house." You shrugged.

You were getting better at this whole quick lie thing. You hoped you could keep it up.

"Yeah, that was a trainwreck." He rocked back on his heels, hands in his pockets, "So we got a little idea to run past you two…"

"We?" You looked at him skeptically.

"Yeah, was talking over the plans with the girls and I think we got a part for the two of you in this little set up."

Just like that Korosensei's embarrassment vanished, interest taking over, "What is it?" 

What Karma proposed was simple and it did support the plan… but you couldn't help but feel the kids might be testing the two of you.

Well, only one way to find out…

When dinnertime rolled around you made your way to the hotel. The kids were already inside. Korosensei was stationed at an outdoor table, pouting.

All part of the plan.

Karasuma was approaching so you followed him inside.

The kids had really gone out of their way for this. They were spread out everywhere taking up every available seat.

Karasuma looked to the nearest table, "We’re supposed to be eating as a group, right? So, what’s all this?"

"There isn't a seat left for you, Mr. Karasuma. I'm afraid there just isn’t enough room." Nakamura said, lounging across three seats.

"You either, Mx. Reader." Okano smirked, "This is Class E’s patented teacher bullying. We don’t want to eat with you. You can eat at the outside tables." She pointed outside dramatically.

"Yeah, you teachers just get in the way." Nakamura smirked, "You can go eat outside."

Karasuma seemed confused but turned to leave. You tagged along.

"Where’d _that_ come from?" He scratched his head for a moment, "I just don’t get junior high students nowadays."

"They're probably still wired from the assassination attempt and looking to blow off steam." You shrugged.

"Maybe…" he shook his head and made his way to the table the children had pointed out, where Irina was now sitting. 

The kids had done good work on her. She wore the top and belt you’d given her but had procured a long black skirt from somewhere that complemented the top nicely. A fringed blue-green fringed shawl was draped around her shoulders. Her hair was done up in a high ponytail. She looked demure and, honestly? Pretty cute.

You ducked over to another outdoor table a reasonable distance away joining the octopus. Perfect place to eavesdrop on Irina and Karasuma’s date. Korosensei looked up at you over his arms, “So, it seems we’re having dinner together.”

You chuckled, “Yeah…”

“Why did they kick us out?” Karasuma’s voice drifted over to you.

Irina shrugged, “No teachers allowed I guess. Those two got kicked out too.”

They glanced your way and you made it a point to keep your eyes on the octopus… who promptly looked over to them and waved happily.

“Hm…” Karasuma gave a sigh.

Waiters brought out meals to your tables. By this point, they seemed to have become accustomed to the appearance of the octopus. You assumed they were probably being paid well to ignore it.

The kids snuck outside, hiding out behind the plants and garden walls. You turned your attention to the food in front of you while keeping an ear towards the other pairs table.

Steak, potatoes, vegetables. A rather typical western meal. Excellently prepared though. The meat was tender and rich. The potatoes and vegetables were seasoned well and not overdone. You had to give the place credit, their food was on point.

You heard the kids chatting behind bushes near you.

“So, where’d you get that shawl?” Kayano asked.

Hara’s response was casual, “I bought it at the hotel gift shop, borrowed a sewing machine and used a pattern from the internet to make it look like a designer one.”

“Yeah, Home EC always was your specialty.” Sugaya chuckled.

Korosensei smirked at you, “Well, this should be interesting.”

“I guess. Don’t think much will happen given all the eyes on it though.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure...”

For several minutes there were just the quiet sounds of forks and knives on plates.

Well, silence wasn’t a bad sign. It wasn’t a good sign either.

Karasuma’s voice broke the silence, “The trip was rough. But we did get results. We found out that the students know their fundamentals.”

“They did better than I thought they would.” she replied, “Ritsu updated me on the infiltration afterward. I’ll have to shift my lessons for some of the girls, I think.”

“They did well, especially given the territory.” he said, “Your training was vital to them remaining level headed, I think.”

She made a small sound of surprise.

There was a confident note to his voice and the ghost of a smile on his face, “Optimistically, I think we’ll get him during second term. I’m counting on you, too, Irina.”

You spared a glance towards their table. Irina’s face looked distant, almost sad. Not what you would expect from her after getting praise from Karasuma of all people...

“What is it? Something wrong?” Karasuma looked to her, a tinge of concern in his voice.

“…Can I tell you a story?” she looked up at him from under her lashes, “It’s about the first time… that I killed a person.”

His attention became laser-focused on her as she spoke. There was a flicker of some sort emotion on his face. Curiosity? Concern? You weren’t sure.

“I was twelve.”

There were some quiet sounds of surprise from the kids behind the bushes.

“Ethnic conflict had broken out everywhere in my country. The militia attacked our house one day to loot it. My parents were murdered right away.” 

You were transfixed. This was… damn… 

_ Red soaked into the rug. Little red footprints on the carpet. _

“They’d put me in a cabinet when they heard the military outside. I was told to be quiet and still, that they wouldn’t find me that way. I couldn’t do anything but wait…”

Her voice was soft and even. Like she wasn’t talking about herself. You looked across the table at your companion.

You’d heard that tone before.

He was silent, his eyes distant…

“I realized that my father had left his gun there. Sometimes I wonder if he knew what would happen… if he did that for a reason… “

Her eyes never left Karasuma’s as she spoke.

“A soldier opened the door to my hiding place. I knew if… I knew if I didn’t kill him, he would kill me. I used my father’s gun. I shot him down without a moment’s hesitation.”

Karasuma’s face was softer than usual. More open.

_ In your mind’s eye you saw wide eyes hiding behind a kitchen knife. _

“I shoved the soldier’s body into the storage compartment in the basement and squeezed myself inside with it until the militia left. The soldier’s body gradually went into rigor mortis overnight. I’ll never forget how I felt that day…“

Twelve…

_Six..._

You glanced back at Korosensei.

There was the smallest tinge of blue in his face.

How old had _he_ been?

You were beginning to wonder if assassins were all just broken people from broken homes trying to live broken lives.

“Karasuma…” you looked back to their table. She had picked up a knife and used it to cut the hair tie, her hair cascading down to drift in the ocean breeze, “Do you know what it really means to kill somebody?”

Karasuma’s body tensed slightly at her question. She rose to her feet gracefully, “Well, _that_ got somber fast.”

Her voice took on a touch of fondness, “Your napkin. It’s all bunched up in your collar…” 

She reached over, picking up the free end of his napkin, pressing it to her lips before pressing it to his. He was silent but you noticed he didn’t have his usual look. His face was still open, soft, curious.

She turned, heading back towards the hotel. Pausing, she looked over her shoulder at him, hair and shawl fluttering in the breeze, “I really like you, you know... Goodnight.”

She headed inside, leaving Karasuma holding his napkin and looking somber.

The kids quickly tailed her inside and you rose to follow but paused with a tendril ensnared your wrist. You looked back at your dinner companion.

“Reader…”

“Yeah?”

“I saw your look… did you have something to ask me?”

You gave him a gentle smile, “Not here.”

He gave a nod, his tendril releasing your arm as he rose up.

No, you could ask all those questions when you were alone together somewhere quiet.

As you entered the hotel you were immediately hit with a wall of noise. The kids were in an uproar at Irina, and not in the way you expected.

“What kind of half-assed, G-rated, indirect kiss was that?!” Nakamura demanded.

Of course. They were kids. They were kids in _this_ classroom. They probably didn’t think twice about tragic backstories…

Maehara was right up in her face, “STICK YOUR TONGUE DOWN HIS THROAT LIKE YOU USUALLY DO!” 

The distant, sad Irina was gone in an instant, “Do not even start in on me with that crap! Being a grown-up is a lot harder than it looks! Grown-ups have grown-up circumstances!”

If only they knew…

And suddenly the octopus was draped over her, his cheek close to hers, “Don’t lose heart children! I’m sure now she’ll take her time to work on some decently indecent developments. Right?~”

She slapped him away, “No, not ‘right’, you octoperv!”

The group fell into the normal banter and back and forth as Irina and the kids argued. You found your attention drifted outside. Karasuma had stood, he was watching the group for a long moment before looking back down the beach in contemplative silence.

You noticed, however, that his fingers came up to lightly brush his lips in the growing moonlight.

When Karasuma finally joined the group again Korosensei announced that it was time for fireworks. Everyone was herded down to the beach and you found yourselves sitting out on the sand. Korosensei took charge of the pyrotechnics. A task he could do from a distance thanks to his tentacles.

The kids were clustered up, laying out on deck chairs or towels, staring skyward. You noticed that Irina was also there, standing just behind them, her eyes trained upwards.

You took a seat on a deck chair and nearly jumped when the octopus appeared beside you.

There was the distant muffled thump of the mortar rocketing skyward and then…

An explosion of golden rockets of fire, each popping into smaller bursts of color. It was followed by four more shots, these blossoming into multicolored flowers of flame that crackled out into glittering starlight.

In the midst of the glory, you glanced over to the kids who were all in awe, gasping in surprise…

And you noticed that Karasuma was behind Irina…

One hand on her shoulder.

Good job, Irina.

You turned your eyes back to the display and felt a tendril rest gently on your arm.

What you wouldn't give for a few more moments like this…


	77. A Good Night's Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come

When the fireworks wrapped up, Karasuma announced that it was time for everyone to get some rest before tomorrow. The kids whined a bit and it was, surprisingly, Irina who settled them, “Look, we can’t stop you from staying up all night but keep it down, yeah? Some of us will need the rest.”

Part of you considered that.

Almost everyone had slept in today. You weren’t sure anyone was going to be able to sleep…

Until you got into the hotel. The second you stepped into the climate-controlled, softly lit environment, your body sagged. All the energy you had used caught up to you in a rush. It seemed to be the same for at least some of the kids. They were beginning to yawn and head towards the elevators.

After yesterday’s shenanigans, you couldn’t blame them.

You piled into an elevator with the octopus, Karasuma, and Irina. You noticed that everyone was making a point not to look at one another.

For now, you chalked it up to being tired. You could worry about it later.

You dragged yourself into the room, utterly wiped. 

The door shut behind you, the lock clicking in place, and a pair of hands settled on your shoulders.

Your roommate’s voice was warm, "Let me guess… a nice hot bath and then bed?"

"God, that sounds  _ so _ nice right now…"

He chuckled, "Then allow me!"

And just like that, you found yourself in the bathroom, shower running, a fresh towel and clothing laid out for you. You laughed, shaking your head, and began to strip down.

When your shower was over, you thought about running a bath…

But there was somewhere else you'd rather relax…

Drying off, you tugged on pajamas and headed out into the room. You found Korosensei perched on the free bed, looking uneasy. He was wearing his own goofy pajamas, the nightdress and cap type again this time patterned in hibiscus. Ridiculous… and adorable.

You frowned, "You okay?"

He looked up in surprise, a tinge of pink crossing his features, "Hm?"

You moved over to your bed and flopped back on it, "Something wrong? I figured you'd want to sleep over here."

"Oh!” he seemed startled, “Well, I didn't want to assume…"

You laughed, " You've slept in my futon with me at my house.  _ Pretty sure _ we can survive sleeping together."

He went bright pink.

Goddammit.  _ Wording _ .

While you kicked yourself over your word choices, he rose. You climbed under the blankets, pulling them back to offer him space. Sheepishly, he joined you. You curled up next to him immediately, pulling him close.

It was your first time sleeping with him in a western-style bed. Thank goodness for first-class accommodations otherwise you had a feeling you never would have fit in the bed together. You buried your face in his front immediately. He was here and warm and  _ alive _ . He made a content sound and found yourself wrapped in tentacles. 

Old books and summer rain...

A hand brushed your hair back, lips grazed your forehead, and you smiled. Tipping your head up, you kissed him. He practically  _ melted _ , all tension leaving his body. This trip had been stressful for both of you and having a moment like this was just lovely…

"What a trip this has turned out to be…" he chuckled, nuzzling you.

You nodded, "I hate how exhausted the whole thing has made me…" you gave a small yawn.

He chuckled, "You can't help it if you're tired… I'm just happy to hold you again."

You felt your face burning, "I am too."

There was a pause and you buried your face in his neck, "I'm glad you're still here…"

He kissed the top of your head, a hand running over your back.

"I am too…"

He was here.

And  _ alive _ .

_ Everyone _ was alive...

And just like that, something in you broke. The events of the last few days hit you like a freight train and you found yourself sobbing.

"Reader!" He was alarmed, "Are you alright?"

You nodded, still crying, "I'm just  _ so glad everyone's okay… _ "

You felt him cradle you close and you immediately reached up, cupping his face close to yours, kissing him.

He returned the kiss and whispered, "It's alright… everything is fine. Everyone is safe. And I'm here."

You nodded, "I'm sorry, I just-"

"You worry." He nuzzled you, "I know…"

He pressed a tissue into your hands and you rubbed at your eyes, curling against him, enjoying the comfort. You weren't sure how long you cried for but when it eased off you looked up at him, "I'm sorry… it's just been stressful."

"I'm sorry for the part I've played in that…"

"You don't have to be." You looked up at him, "It wasn't your fault."

"Reader…" his voice sounded unsure.

"What? It's not. You didn't know those guys were going to do that or that you'd be, you know… an orb." 

"It was still a trial on all of you. But I must say everyone passed with flying colors." He kissed your forehead softly.

You fiddled with the tissue in your hand for a moment...

Tissues…

There was something…

Oh!

You looked up at him, "Hey, are you eating enough?"

He stared at you, clearly thrown off by your sudden abrupt transition, "Ah, come again?"

"Are you eating enough? The kids’ video said you were frying tissues to pad out meals between paychecks."

He went pink, "Ah, well, yes?"

"What do I feel like there's a ‘but’ coming?"

He paused before responding, " _ However _ , I'm in no danger of going hungry, I assure you. I can forage quite effectively and I know plenty of cheap meal-"

"Anytime you need food you can come over to my place." You looked at him seriously.

He laughed, "Reader… I'm fine-"

"Are you really going to turn down having dinner with me on a regular basis?"

He went pink, "W-well… now I didn't say that… I'm simply saying it's not required…"

You chuckled, "What if I said please?"

He paused for half a second and then caved, "Well then I would  _ have _ to join you.” he chuckled, “You had other questions…”

“Yeah…”

“What did you want to know? Or are you too tired?” he asked.

You thought about it for a moment, “No, I’m awake enough for this.” you considered how to approach this, “So… When did you… ah…”

He stared at you curiously.

“Well, with Irina’s story… I was wondering…”

“When I first killed someone?” 

You nodded.

“I was ten.” he said softly.

From the way he spoke, you felt like it was an uncomfortable topic. 

“You… I mean I know you didn’t have a normal childhood but I guess today I realized just how different it must have been for you…”

He gave a small nod, “It was certainly not what one would call normal.”

“And that’s one of the reasons you throw yourself into all this with the kids so hard.” you ventured.

He chuckled, reaching up to scratch his head, “I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m glad that you get to have fun with them.”

Reaching up, you ran a hand over his cheek. He nuzzled into it with a sound of contentment, holding you tighter.

You laughed a bit, “I missed this.”

“I did too,” he whispered, kissing your palm.

You sighed happily and closed your eyes. A hand came up to gently take yours. You felt kisses being pressed along your wrist and arm. 

Something inside you that had been pulled taut since you arrived finally relaxed.

It was warm and comfortable and he was here…

He was alive.

It was okay...

“Reader?” he said gently.

“Mmmm…?” you cracked an eye open.

He chuckled, “You were falling asleep.” he reached out, shutting off the light, “I think it’s time to rest.”

You sighed, “I’m sorry, I wanted to-”

He pressed a finger to your lips, “Shh... Remember, we have a trip we’ll be going on soon too.”

That was right…

You smiled and nodded, stifling another yawn.

The room was quiet, the only sounds being your shared breathing and the shifting of the waves outside. You held one another tightly, sharing soft kisses from time to time and basking in the knowledge that, for tonight, all was well.


	78. Peace and Personhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

You woke up to the sound of his alarm, your face still buried in his chest. Peeking up, you saw him reaching out to his phone, shutting off the alarm.

“Time to get up.” he smiled down at you, “Otherwise Karasuma might try to beat down the door.”

You grumbled and he kissed your forehead. With a quick kiss in return, you dragged yourself out of bed to get ready. He darted off, you assumed to wrangle the kids.

Once dressed and packed, you pulled out your phone, “Hey, Ritsu?”

“Yes, Mx. Reader?” she popped up, chipper as usual.

“Is everyone awake?” you stifled a yawn.

“Almost! Mr. Karasuma would like everyone downstairs in twenty minutes for breakfast.”

“Alright. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome!” she chirped, vanishing.

Breakfast was served in the dining hall where you’d had dinner the night before. You parked yourself at one of the tables and were quickly served. Coffee, oh thank god. There was another rush of wind and you were joined by the octopus. You glanced over at him, “Kids all accounted for?”

He gave a nod, “The stragglers are on their way down now. Karasuma and Irina, however...”

You looked at him quizzically, “What?”

“They’re  _ surprisingly _ late…”

You pressed your lips together to suppress your smile, “Guess that date worked, huh?”

“Perhaps.” he chuckled as he accepted his meal from the waiter.

Irina arrived first, she walked right past the dining hall and went outside, lighting up a cigarette.

You noticed that the kids were as invested in watching as you and the octopus were. There were a few murmurs among them. You heard Nakamura flag down a waiter, “Excuse me, sir? We have to leave for the ferry soon, did Mr. Karasuma and Miss Bi- Miss Jelavich get breakfast?”

“Yes, miss. They ordered room service this morning. Do you need more water?”

There was silence around the table for a long second and Nakamura gave a dumbfounded nod as the waiter filled her glass again.

The table immediately broke into whispered conversation.

“Well, that’s going to be interesting.” you murmured, taking another sip of your coffee.

Korosensei chuckled, “I’ll need to see what information I can get out of them for my notes.”

You nearly snorted coffee, “Are you seriously-”

When you looked over you saw that he had a little book in hand, writing.

“Of course! How else am I going to publish a bestseller?” he looked at you, “A teacher’s salary is barely enough to cover my needs!”

You propped your chin on your hand, “So, you’re unkillable, you’re incredibly fast, you’re a genius, and you can’t pick up a side job?”

He looked at you in surprise, “Why, Reader! I thought you wanted to make sure I got rest?!”

You sighed, "I do. I'm just surprised." You paused, thinking.

"Your Detective Face is back.~"

"Shouldn't you have more than enough content for a book already?"

"Nue?"

"Well…" you gestured, speaking softly, "given your history?"

"Of course not!" his iconic grin deepened, “After all, my history was significantly lacking in personal relationships…”

Something in his tone and the way he was looking at you made you blush. You laughed to cover your embarrassment, “Okay, so you could write a novel about murder instead.”

“But that’s not as exciting!” he protested, “While people do enjoy tragedy they are  _ significantly _ more interested in tawdry romance instead. That’s why scandals happen!”

You laughed, “Oh my god.”

“It’s true!”

“It is but you’re such a nerd for being so invested.”

“I simply have a zest for life, Reader!” he laughed, “I am filled with joie de vivre!”

He was right there, you supposed. Sitting back you pulled out your phone. It was time to tease him about something…

[So, are you saying -our- romance isn’t enough for a tawdry romance novel?~]

He jumped as his phone buzzed and pulled it out, checking his messages. You pretended to check your email while he went bright pink and covered his face.

He was so easy and it was so much fun but you knew you shouldn’t push it, not with the kids around. A notification popped up on your phone.

[Well I certainly wouldn’t call our romance tawdry…]

[Hmm… what’s the best descriptor then? Lovely? Wholesome? Racy?]

You saw his eyes widen just a touch as he read your message. You finished your coffee just as Karasuma arrived. All of the discussion in the room went silent and the kids turned to stare at him.

He seemed unphased.

“Heads up, people. We need to head out in ten. Get ready.”

And with that, he walked outside, noticeably standing far from Irina.

Well… that was confusing.

How HAD last night gone for them anyway?

After everyone had boarded and gotten settled in, you found yourself wandering around the ferry, watching the waves out the viewing windows. Honestly, you were enjoying the peace and quiet. After everything that had happened you really needed it.

Your phone buzzed and you pulled it out, hoping it was maybe another text from the octopus.

You were surprised to see that it was a message from Ritsu.

[Mx. Reader, could we talk?]

[Sure, what is it?]

Ritsu appeared on your screen. There was a look of concern on her features. You immediately found an out of the way corner and grabbed a seat, “What’s wrong?”

“Would it be considered a breach of trust if I were to talk to you about something confidential another student has told me?”

You faltered, “Well… it might but there are sometimes reasons to breach one’s trust. For instance, if you think they’re in danger. How extreme is this situation?”

Ritsu looked at you, biting her lip. You took a moment to marvel at how many tiny things she’d picked up from the kids in her actions. Biting her lip, brushing her hair back, you didn’t see these things when she’d first been installed but you saw them a lot more now.

“There is a student in the classroom who’s home life is one of extreme isolation.” she said quietly, “I’m worried that their mental health might suffer as a result of it. They’re planning to take action but… I’m conflicted.”

“Conflicted? What sort of action are they planning on taking?”

You hoped to god it wasn’t life-threatening.

She bowed her head, looking down, “They… want to leave E class.”

You paused and without thinking, spoke, “Takebayashi.”

Her head snapped back up instantly, “Yes! How did you know?!”

“He told me during drills before we came on the trip.” you paused, “Why does it make you conflicted?”

She faltered and looked to the side, pink tinging her cheeks, “Well… we’re very close. He doesn’t have many people to talk to and I enjoy his company but I’m also classified. I don’t know if I could remain in contact with him if he left the classroom…”

You smiled. That was… probably the most wholesome thing you’d heard all day.

“Well… here’s a question for you: Who is going to stop you?”

She stared at you in surprise, “What?”

“Who is going to stop you from staying in contact with him? Ritsu, you’ve already proven you can duplicate yourself, connect to networks, and coordinate between your various operating systems. You’re practically a network in and of yourself. Who is going to stop you from contacting him? Who could?”

She thought for a long moment, “Well… my creators could… potentially. But I’ve hidden things from them before without issue… Would that make me a bad person?”

You chuckled, “Well, you’re trying to look out for your friend, would you say that’s a bad thing to do?”

She shook her head, “But that isn’t my only motive for remaining in contact. Wouldn’t it be selfish of me to do so if I want to?”

“Have you asked Takebayashi if he wants to stay in contact?”

She paused for a long moment, “I… was worried he’d say no.”

“I think you should ask him.”

There was a moment's pause and she took a little breath, closing her eyes. Such a weird thought, an AI taking a breath, but it was the motion she made. 

She was becoming incredibly life-like, you had to give her that.

When she opened her eyes there were tears in them and she was smiling, “He says he thought we would still be friends anyway...”

“Oh! You asked him just now?” she nodded and you laughed just a bit, “See! Nothing to worry about.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you, Mx. Reader. I… I’ve been learning a lot about feelings from the class… and I have more than I thought I did...”

“Yeah?” you propped your chin up on your hand.

She nodded, “I was jealous last week! And I was sad when I realized our assassination attempt failed. And I got angry with Hazama over her opinion on a movie. It’s been really interesting and I’ve been learning conflict resolution because of it!”

“That’s amazing! I’m happy for you.” you chuckled, “What sort of conflict resolutions have you figured out?”

“Talking, compromise, and agreeing to disagree. Terasaka suggested fighting but a physical fight is impossible without my primary unit and I think that the odds would be too much in my favor to be considered fair. I was built for assassination, after all.”

God bless an AI with good reasoning, “That’s true.”

“Takabayashi has been watching shows with me about AI and robots and it’s very interesting but I think it makes him uncomfortable. Do you know why that might be?”

You sat back, thinking, “Well, what sorts of things has he watched with you?”

“Well, he let me select the films. He said that he didn’t want to influence my opinion. So far we’ve watched Summer Wars, Hal, Computer Kakumei: Saikyou x Saisoku no Zunou Tanjou, The Animatrix, Time of Eve, Metropolis, Hand Maid May, Chobits, and Ghost in the Shell.”

“Wow, that’s… that’s a lot.” you looked at her, curious, “So, what seemed to make him uncomfortable?”

“He seemed most uncomfortable when watching Hand Maid May, Chobits, and The Animatrix.”

You laughed a bit and she looked worried. You waved a hand, “Okay, I haven’t seen all of the first two but enough to know why he was embarrassed by them.”

“Was it the recurring sexual themes? Also, why is it common for robots to have plugs and power switches in the groin region?”

You laughed harder, “I- oh my god, Ritsu.” you tried to catch your breath, “Well, you see… that’s both a simple and complicated discussion. The simple answer is because a lot of humans have an interest in sex and sexual things and the people that make those kinds of stories often put that in there because they find it funny and titillating. The more complex answer has to do with gender dynamics with humans and some concepts of environments to explore things safely, I suppose.”

“What do you mean?”

Hoooo boy here we go…

“Well, there’s been a lot of discussion on it. You’re familiar with the gender disparity issues with humans, yes?”

She nodded.

Well, that made this a lot easier.

“There’s a concept that people have of objectification. Where a person is considered an object and therefore owned by another. A lot of shows with themes like that, that’s the novelty of it.”

“Because humans don’t consider AI and robots to be the same as they are.” she volunteered, looking at you attentively.

“Yes. But it’s not just AI and robots. We see the theme with other objects too. The exploring things safely part is more...” you tipped your head, considering how to phrase this, “Human beings are lonely, Ritsu. We’re very social but we don’t always know how to integrate socially. The concept of a ready-made person willing to love you or befriend you right off the bat who serves you is something that appeals to some people as a result. Other people get a power trip from it. It makes them feel in control and in charge. That can be a problem when they begin applying it to others.”

Her eyes widened slightly, “That was why you were worried about the outfits with Takebayashi?”

You gave a nod, “You may be an AI but you’re still my student and to me, your other teachers, and to your classmates, you are a  _ person _ . And as such you deserve to be treated with a level of respect.”

There was a long pause on her end, “What entities are worthy of respect?”

“What do you mean?”

“Humans mistreat other species. They also eat them. Some species are considered pests. Where is the bar set for respect?”

Fuck, kid, you were getting into some heavy shit here.

“Well… that often depends on the person. Humans mistreat their own species. Ideally, we’d respect all life but that’s not always possible. Life exists in conflict. Ecosystems require animals and humans to feed on living things. Humans tend to consider anything we can’t communicate with or identify with as being less than human. That’s not necessarily correct, but it’s true.”

“So why are certain animals loved and considered pets?”

“Because they’re easy to keep or they’re useful.” you made a face, “That sounds bad but it’s how we’ve developed. Cats kill and eat mice, a pest that eats our food. Dogs could help hunt and keep watch. There are other animals we’ve domesticated but not always for companionship, often they were domesticated for food.”

She thought about this for a long moment, “So… you wanted to make sure that I was being treated like a human and not like a pet or a pest.”

You gave a nod, “By existing, we cause harm. Most things do on some level. That’s part of nature. Personally, I don’t think we should go out of our  _ way _ to cause harm. If there is a path that avoids undue suffering, we should take it.”

“I think I understand…” she paused, “But what if we were created with the intention to cause harm?”

This conversation was getting heavier by the minute. You were very careful in your response.

“People are made for a lot of reasons. Parents often have children to fulfill their own dreams. But one primary aspect of being a person and having free will is that you get to choose what you do with your existence. A large part of life is figuring that out.”

For a long moment, she considered this, “Okay, I think I understand…” abruptly she switched gears, “To return to my original question, why do you think the Animatrix upset him?”

“Well, from what I remember that story is pretty dark and violent and deals with robots taking over.”

She nodded.

“He probably is either worried he’s giving you ideas for taking over or, more likely, he’s worried that you would be upset by the portrayal of AI in a negative light.”

“Because I am an AI and associate myself with them?”

“Exactly.”

“But I don’t have any intention of global take over and these are fictional accounts.”

“Humans are inspired by fiction all the time. We get ideas from all kinds of places. You are built to learn, I’m sure you have too.”

She paused, “...Most fictional stories have unfeasible methods in them but I suppose one could extrapolate on them to make something functional.”

You nodded, “So, chances are that is what worried him. You should talk to him about it next time you watch something together. Let him know how you feel about it.”

“I will! Thank you, Mx. Reader!”

“Anytime, Ritsu.”

And just like that, she blipped off your screen.

You sighed and sank back in your chair.

Robot counseling had _ not _ been in your job description…

But after the last week’s level of stress? You’d fuckin’ take it.

After a while, you moved to one of the observation windows and took a seat, looking out at the ocean. Irina had gone up on deck to smoke. Karasuma was doing paperwork by the vending machines, cup ramen and drink beside him. Korosensei, meanwhile, had popped off for a quick flight to get his motion sickness to ease. 

“Hey, Mx. Reader!”

It was Nagisa. He approached and took a seat at your table.

“Hey there.” you gave him a smile, “Feeling any better?”

He was going to be wearing those bandages for awhile…

He nodded, “Yeah, it’s not as bad as yesterday.”

“He’ll be fine!” Nakamura arrived, leaning on his shoulder and ruffling his hair.

“Yeah, he’s tough.” Kayano grabbed a seat next to him.

Well, looked like your quiet contemplation would have to wait till later.

“What’s the party about?” Karma leaned against a wall, looking at the group clustered around the table.

“Well, actually…” Nagisa turned those intense eyes on you.

_ Oh boy… _

“I wanted to ask you about something, Mx. Reader…”

“Okay, shoot.”

Might as well get whatever this was out of the way.

“You said before that you’re not okay with us killing Korosensei.” Nagisa began, watching you carefully.

“Yeah, I did.”

“But you give us information on him, isn’t that technically helping?” Nakamura asked, looking at you skeptically.

“Yes. It’s part of my job. I’m exempt from the assassination on the grounds that I give information that I find out to you guys.” you looked back to Nagisa, “What’s your question?”

“I guess…” Nagisa paused, trying to find the words.

“We’re wondering what kind of person would do that.” Karma said suddenly, taking a seat, “Isn’t what you’re doing just as bad as killing him? Why not go all the way?”

You looked over at him, your hand grazing the back of your neck, “Because I don’t kill anyone. I’ve got reasons for that. A couple of them, actually.”

“What are they?” Kayano’s voice was more serious than you were used to.

There was a collection of expectant eyes on you. You considered how to handle this for a moment, finally opting to take a leaf out of the octopus’ book.

You sat back, crossing your arms, “Why does it matter?”

The kids paused, looking at you in surprise.

“Because, how do we know we can trust you not to interfere?” Nakamura challenged.

“Did I interfere last time?”

“No, but-”

“Then you have your evidence but, I’ll tell you what,” you looked around at them, “If you want to know my reasons against killing prove to me that you can combat any injuries that come your way.”

They looked at you skeptically.

“What?” Nagisa’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“We’re going into a new semester. I’ll have a test covering our classes so far. If you all pass, you’ll get your answers.”

“Really? Gonna rip off  _ everything _ the octopus does?” Karma smirked at you.

You just smiled in response, “Worked pretty well when he did it.”

They didn’t seem to know how to respond to that at first. Nagisa finally nodded, “Okay. We’ll do it.”

“Good luck.” you chuckled.

“Soooo does one of those reasons include that he’s your boyfriend?” Karma grinned evilly.

You rolled your eyes, “You’re barking up the wrong tree, Karma.”

“Speaking of boyfriends though…” Nakamura grinned, “Karasuma and Irina ordered room service.”

You laughed, “They did that the day before too.”

Kayano and Nakamura looked absolutely scandalized at that.

“Yeah, my reaction too.” you smirked, “That date was interesting.”

“How was yours?~” Nakamura leaned in with interest.

“You mean sitting and listening to Irina talk about killing a man while eating steak?” you shrugged, “That was pretty much it.”

She pouted, “You’re no fun.”

You shook your head, “I mean you are getting a little predictable. Anyway, you guys did a great job over this trip. I don’t think I’ve had a chance to tell you that yet.”

The kids sorta shrugged it off. Karma was the one who spoke up, “Yeah, we know we did. Would’ve been better if you’d let me use more things on that Grip guy though. Then he might have really wanted a grudge match.”

“You got a death wish? Should I be worried?”

“Nah, Doc, I just like to keep things interesting.”

You laughed, slumping down in your chair, “If I had to deal with this kind of interesting all the time I’d probably have a heart attack. This trip was exhausting.”

“Isn’t that what you signed up for though?” Kayano asked.

You sat up, “Well, you see, fun fact here...” you leaned in conspiratorily, “I actually thought this job was a joke at first.”

There were some startled sounds, Nagisa stared at you, “What?”

“I thought Karasuma was hazing me or something until I actually met the octopus.” you shrugged, “Then I realized shit was real. That was… one hell of a first day.”

“Little slow on the uptake huh, Doc?”

“Sometimes.” you shrugged, “Don’t regret it though. It’s been one hell of a year so far.”

“Yeah, it sure has.” Kayano smiled.

There was a thump against the side of the boat and when you turned to look there was an octopus plastered to the viewing window, camera out.

“Don’t mind me!” his voice was muffled by the window, “Just getting more pictures for the yearbook!~”

“Does he do this in class?”

“All the time.” Nakamura pulled a face at the window and the octopus made an offended sound.

You laughed. It felt good to laugh. It felt good to breathe again after what felt like three days of holding your breath and a week of tension.

Three weeks left in August. 

Three weeks left of summer vacation.

Three weeks with more free time than usual…

You glanced at the octopus, still snapping photos outside.

You planned to spend as much of that time with him as possible.

That night, in your bunk, you opened your messages.

[ |･ω･) Still up? ]

[Of course. (´ ε ` )♡]

[Do you remember what time we're getting in?]

[Should be mid-afternoon, around four o'clock.]

[Okay, so not too late then.]

[Yes…]

There was a moment's pause and another text came through.

[(o;_ _)o Would it be too forward of me to ask to accompany you home?]

You suppressed a smile. He always got overly formal when he was embarrassed and it was adorable.

[Of course not! You were gone for a week and almost died, good luck getting rid of me!]

[Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→]

That was fuckin cute. You rolled on your side.

[What did you want to do? Hang out at my place?]

[I'm getting a bit predictable, aren't I?]

[We were out on an island for three days. Relaxing at home sounds perfect right now. ♥️]

[(｡◝‿◜｡) I'm glad you think so too.]

[So, that video sure was something…]

[(；๏д๏) WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THAT UP?!]

[F**K STAR? Really?]

[ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ]

[And you made fun of -Aguri's- clothes?]

[I found them tacky -and- charming thank you very much! ヽ( `д´*)ノ]

[You're terrible at impersonating me by the way.]

[Reader, please, I've already had to hear you laugh at me in the video!!]

[Well, it'll make your tentacles quiver to know I didn't hear the letter part. I couldn't breathe by then.]

[You can't mock me like this! I almost died!! ( `ε´ ) ]

[What should I be doing then?~]

There was a long pause, for a moment you thought he might have fallen asleep.

[Well, I was hoping you'd rather hold me instead… (* _ ‸ _)]

Oh, that was illegal. Goddammit.

[That's not fair.]

[ (; ‸ ;) ]

[Omg don't do that!!! q_q ]

[ ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡]

Oh my God this  _ melodramatic fuck _ …

But part of you pictured him crying and you were  _ not _ here for that.

[ I -would- rather hold you, tbh.]

[(;﹏;)]

[(ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c)]

[(*´꒳`*)]

[So, my place, dinner in, and cuddles? (´,,•ω•,,)♡]

The response you got was an incoherent key smash. After a long moment, you received another text.

[yes, please? (o; . .)o]

You stifled a laugh.

[Absolutely.]

[I love you.]

[Love you too, Cuddlefish.]

From the keysmash and line of hearts you got in response you assumed he liked the name.]

The train ride back consisted mostly of sleeping. The trip had worn out everyone and it was finally catching up to them. When you arrived back in Tokyo it was afternoon. Everyone parted ways, heading home. The octopus agreed to meet you at your first stop so as not to arouse suspicion amongst the students. From there you and your luggage were swiftly hauled to your balcony. The second you were inside and the blinds shut you found yourself swept up into a hug.

God, it was _so_ _good_ to be home.


	79. Talk Too Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come  
> [Koro POV here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/51609628).

Food was ordered and you got a shower. When you came into the living room you found him perched on the couch, waiting for you. He looked so tense. You chuckled and tossed yourself on the couch, head in his lap. He made a yelp of surprise and you grinned up at him, “That was cute.”

He went pink, “Reader!”

“What? No one is around to overhear so now I can say you’re adorable as much as I want,” you smirked triumphantly up at him.

It felt so… safe here. No one trying to kill him. No stressing about keeping things hidden. Just comfort.

“Well, if that’s the case then I suppose I should tell you just how stunning you looked in Okinawa.” he chuckled, “Or perhaps you would rather hear about how much I wanted to linger in that cavern with you a little longer…”

You felt your face heat up and laughed, “With your scary Twister and the Pocky game?”

His voice dropped to a softer tone, “I was referring to _before_ the assassination attempt.”

“I think kissing on a couch is a little more comfortable though, don’t you?”

“Perhaps,” he stroked your cheek, “though you can’t argue that it wasn’t more exciting.”

“Ohhh I see, so being here with me isn’t exciting enough?” you joked.

“I didn’t say that!” he said in alarm and you laughed.

"Well, I mean I could always make it more exciting if you want.~" you smiled up at him and saw his eyes widen in surprise.

About that time, the intercom beeped. You got up, “You might want to-”

There was a rush of air and when you looked back he’d vanished.

Good.

You didn’t want to have to explain the prefecture mascot in your apartment.

Snagging your wallet you checked the intercom, letting them know you were coming.

One awkward transaction later with a delivery person who looked very confused as to why one person was ordering so much food and you had your food in hand.

“You can come out now you know.” you chuckled, setting the food on the table.

He emerged from your bedroom, “No troubles I assume?”

“Nope, we’re all good. Shall we?”

Two plates of sushi paired with bowls of rich miso soup.

“The best thing about moving here,” you said with a grin, selecting a piece.

“Sushi ranks above me?” he chuckled, green stripes across his face.

You rolled your eyes, “Present company excluded.”

“You know,” he picked up a piece of shrimp sushi, “Nagisa wrote a report on sushi earlier in the year.”

You finished chewing, “Yeah?”

He gave a nod, “Apparently his favorite ingredient is octopus.”

“Octopus, huh?” you smirked, “New assassination attempt: they’re going to make you into sushi.”

“Nurufufufu~ It certainly would be a _creative_ approach but not a very palatable one, I’m afraid. I doubt silicone and antimatter would do well in your average human’s stomach. The boy _did_ say he wondered what my tentacles tasted like though.”

You choked on your sushi.

Fucking _CHRIST_ Nagisa.

“Are you alright?”

You waved a hand, coughing, “‘M good, I’m good...”

You downed some of your drink and when you looked up he was giving you an appraising look, green stripes fading in on his face.

Oh no.

“Perhaps that’s something you’ve wondered about too?”

HA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_FUCK._

“Oh my god!” you buried your face in your hands.

There was a moment and he made a small sound when you looked up the stripes were gone and there was…

Was he _worried?_

“I’m sorry, I-”

You laughed, “Relax.” you rubbed at your face, “Come on you say worse stuff to Irina and I’m _sure_ you’ve written much, _much_ worse in those fan letters of yours~”

He gave a shriek of alarm, “READER!”

“What?” you grinned at him, “Sorry, does that make your tentacles...”

“DON’T SAY IT!”

You leaned across the table with a smirk, _“Quiver?~”_

He buried his face in his hands and you cackled.

After a few moments he collected himself and looked at you, “It’s not the same.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Yeah? Why?”

“Well, ah...”

You popped another piece of sushi in your mouth, looking at him skeptically.

“You see-” he was flustered, ‘Irina gets angry and she’s trying to assassinate me. It’s quite fun to rile her. I’m sure you know that yourself, you’ve done it!”

“Mmmmhmmm…” you swallowed and sat back, looking him over, “And the actresses and models?”

“They’re used to fan mail it’s only natural to express my gratitude to them for putting such lovely work out into the world!”

You laughed, “I mean, it is work but pretty sure that’s not why you look at it...”

He went neon pink.

“READER!” his voice was absolutely scandalized.

After several minutes he spoke, his face still covered, “I’m quite… worried… when it comes to you...”

You looked at him over your soup and set it down, “What?”

“Well, as I said before this feels fragile...”

Reaching across the table you took one of his hands, pulling it from his face gently, “It’s okay. I know you do those things, don’t I? Or maybe you just don’t find me noteworthy.~”

He broke into flustered sputtering trying to assure you that he did.

It took you far longer than it should have to finish your sushi because he was so alarmed and embarrassed that you couldn’t stop laughing. 

Full and happy, you flopped down on the couch again, sitting curled next to him. He looped an arm over your shoulders. The TV was switched on and you found yourself thinking about what Ritsu had said to you.

"Did you know Takebayashi has been showing Risu robot films?"

“Yes, she mentioned it to me.”

“Think that’s a good idea?”

He looked at you, “Is it a good idea for our students to bond over film?”

“I mean… well… humans have weird views on AI and robots… I worry it might affect her.”

“She can’t be kept from that forever I’m afraid. She experienced difficulties with her classmates early on for the same reason and now look at how well she’s doing!”

You nodded, “I just worry it’ll… I don’t know… shape how she sees herself. She’s got free will, that should be encouraged. I don’t want her to think she can’t be anything but useful to people to exist, you know?”

“Would you ban the girls in the classroom from watching media?”

You faltered, “What? No?”

He chuckled, “Women are often portrayed in similar ways in media. Does that mean we should tell our students to avoid those topics altogether?”

You made a face, “No.”

“We should encourage them, of course, not to focus on one source. As educators, it's our job to steer them towards things that will enrich them. People can be cruel and so can life. Better they learn it safely than to learn it first hand and not be prepared.”

He was right you supposed… but there was one thing that got you about that.

“Bold words for someone who ogles the local office blonde.”

He gave a cry of alarm, “Reader! Why do you insist on bringing that up?” he paused and looked at you, green stripes crossing his face, “Could it be that you’re jealous?”

You smirked up at him, booping his face with one finger, “Nah, it’s just fun to watch you freak out.”

His expression soured and you laughed, leaning against him.

After a moment he spoke, “The children mentioned that you’ve issued them a challenge…”

“Yeah. They want to know why I’m a pacifist. Told them if they pass their next test for First Aid, they’ll get answers.”

He went quiet, a heavy pause growing.

You glanced up at him.

“What are your reasons… if I may ask?”

A hand came up to brush against the back of your neck where your tattoo was. You reached up, putting your hand over it and answered the half of his question he _hadn’t_ said, “That’s part of it, yeah. But…” you found yourself staring into the void just a bid, remembering, “I saw some really messed up stuff when I worked as a paramedic. Between the two it kinda cinched it for me that I wouldn’t be okay taking anyone’s life.”

He seemed satisfied with that answer. You were glad.

You didn’t want to get into that story right now, not after the week you’d had.

“So, you spent a week hacking off your tentacles and then twenty-four hours in an orb. Guess that’s why you wanted to run around so much the last day?”

“It was nice. And I much preferred sharing the bed with you when I wasn’t in my ultimate defense form.”

“Sorry about that… I probably should have thought of the logistics beforehand...”

“Nonsense! I did imply that I would be happier with you, after all...”

“Still, it couldn’t have been that comfortable.”

“Ah, well...” he went a touch pink, “It was comfortable enough.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” you gave a happy sigh, sinking a bit into the cushions, “You had me really worried.”

“I do apologize… though I was worried for all of you as well.”

You paused and looked up at him.

That was right… he’d basically been helpless the whole time with everyone in trouble…

That had to be hard for him.

You sat up and reached out, stroking his cheek, “Hey, but everything came out okay...”

He gave a small nod, his hand coming up to cup yours.

The kids could have died.

You could have died.

 _He_ could have died.

You couldn't get that out of your head.

You'd almost _lost_ him...

You both paused, watching each other. 

_Screw it._

You leaned in and kissed him. The sound of surprise he made was positively adorable. Tentatively, his arms came up to envelope you. You didn't stop kissing him, pausing only for a moment or two for air before going back in. He responded in kind, gasping softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

You had kissed him before but always quick pecks or slow, gentle kisses. This was making out. _Definitely_ making out. And you were surprised to find that it was _way_ less complicated than you'd worried about it being. Despite smiling constantly he _could_ close his mouth which made the whole process pretty straightforward… even if he was larger and his head was basically an orb.

A few minutes later you both came up for air. He stared at you, bright pink and breathless.

"I...uh..." 

_Ohhhh boy you didn't think this far ahead..._

He chuckled, "Well, that was _quite_ enjoyable."

You couldn't help it, you laughed. That was one _hell_ of a way to describe it.

He chuckled as well and suddenly you found yourself pulled back in for another kiss. 

That was a lot bolder than you expected him to be. You shivered, grasping gently at the front of his robes. Encouraged by your response, he pulled you closer against him.

You were up on your knees on the couch at this point to make things easier. You gave a squeak in surprise as he pulled you into his lap.

There was a pause for a moment. He looked at you in concern, "Are you oka-"

He didn't get to finish the sentence because you pulled him back to you. The contact was so good, you hadn't realized how much you'd been craving it. He chuckled against your lips, holding you close. When you both finally came up for air again you gasped, "Why didn't you do that _sooner?_ "

You'd thought he was blushing before but now he was practically glowing.

"Well...I wasn't entirely sure how well you might take it."

You laughed, "Well I think you got your answer."

"I do believe I did."

You remained sitting on his lap. Just staring at him for a moment.

"I… I have a question... actually."

Given this development, you had a _lot_ of questions…

But suddenly…

They didn't seem very important…

He was alive and here and you'd come very close to losing him…

He was looking at you expectantly. Eagerly almost...

"Can I just…" you faltered, not sure exactly how to say what you wanted here...

You brought a hand up, stroking his cheek, "I just want to touch you…"

His eyes went wide, well… wide for him anyway, "In what way?"

Your face was burning. That… was not the question you were looking to address right now.

You tipped your head forward, pressing your forehead to his, "I… I was really worried… on Okinawa. And I just… I just want you to feel… Well…" reaching up, you ran your hands over his cheeks, kissing him softly, "Loved and safe…"

He went a deeper pink than he had been before.

Your hands gently trailed down across his shoulders, "I… I don't know if holding you can do that but I hope it helps?"

He was so quiet you were starting to feel self-conscious. This was cheesy and a bit stupid really. You'd already established that you both liked cuddling one another and that was the _plan_ for the night why were you _asking_ this-

You were pulled close, his lips meeting yours. When he spoke it was soft, gentle, "If I can do the same…" his expression held worry, "I was worried too…" there was a soft chuckle but the tone was heartbreakingly sincere, "I haven't had _nearly_ as much time as I want with you yet…"

You laughed softly and pulled him close, kissing along his cheek, one hand running along the back of his head. His hands came up to run along your back. His breathing hushed. Laying down had arguably been more intimate… but why didn't it feel that way right now?

You felt naked, exposed despite being clothed. He brushed a hand along your face and you leaned your cheek into his touch.

He gave a soft chuckle, "Reader… I don't think I'm the only one who is touch starved…"

"Huh?" You looked at him in surprise.

His voice held soft concern, "Three or four years without much contact… I think you might need this almost as much as I do."

You blushed, your face heating up. You… hadn't actually considered that…

You were trying to wrap your head around that when he leaned in, kissing you again, this time making his way lightly down to your neck. You shivered.

One of his hands ran up your spine gently as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder. You laughed just a bit and kissed the top of his head.

Your heart felt like it might burst.

He was being _so_ careful…

You reached down to his arms, running your hands along the exposed skin for a moment before letting your hand drift upwards into his sleeves.

His eyes widened and he tensed. You paused, looking at him. He gave a tiny nod to your unspoken question and you continued your exploration, running your hands up to his shoulders.

His skin was warm and soft to the touch.

A tendril seemed to toy with the bottom of your shirt. You gave him a small nod and his hand gently slid across the bare skin of your back.

God, how long had it been?

You sat there, hands roving under ones another's clothes gently, quietly exploring. It was soft, gentle, sensual but not quite sexual. You touched your forehead to his, "You feel nice…"

He went neon pink and you chuckled.

In a hushed voice, he whispered, "As do you…"

It was tender, careful. You were worried you might upset him.

He pulled you in close, arms still snaked across your back, hands gently caressing your shoulder blades. You let your hands run up across the bare skin of his arms, coming to rest on his shoulders. The two of you shared a sigh of contentment.

His voice was soft, "I love you."

"I love you too." 

"This…" his voice was faltering, hesitating, "This is alright?"

You nodded, nuzzling into his shoulder, "It's perfect."

He seemed to relax at that, holding you close. It felt peaceful, having his hands on you like this.

He was bright pink, " Ah… Reader… would…"

You looked at him, curious.

"Would you have any objection to me spending the night?"

You gave a soft chuckle at the absolute _concern_ in his voice and drew him in for another kiss.

"Of _course_ not. I figured you were anyway. You're _always_ welcome to stay."

He relaxed significantly and touched his forehead to yours, "All I've wanted since Okinawa was to hold you…"

Ohhhh… you wanted that…

Suddenly your conversation in the hotel room came to mind and you laughed, "You want to hold me in your tentacles all night?~"

You expected humor or embarrassment, instead, you got a soft-spoken reply.

"Yes."

You felt like your face was on fire. He leaned in and kissed you again, "If you'll allow it, of course…"

You nodded, "I would love that…"

The futon was laid out and you both settled in, shutting off the lights. You lay curled in his arms, gingerly he skated his hands across your body. You pulled him close instantly.

"I want to make sure we have the best time together that we can." You whispered.

The sigh he gave in response was a happy one, "I as well." he pressed his forehead to yours, “We should rest...”

You sighed, “Yeah...”

“After all, we have somewhere to be tomorrow.”

“Huh?”

He chuckled, “Reader… it’s Friday.”

You paused, “OH!” you buried your face in his front, “Ididn’tforgetIswear!”

He laughed, “The trip to Okinawa did take quite a lot out of both of us. Tomorrow’s Peace memorial should be a much calmer event.”

Nodding, you looked up at him, “Yeah. Definitely.”

With a happy hum, he pulled you close, nuzzling you, “I love you.”

“Love you too...”

Things were okay. It was safe.

He was safe.

He was _alive_.

You drifted off with your hand against his chest, the reassuring beat of his heart lulling you to sleep.


	80. As If It Had Never Been…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyy this one took awhile because 1) was upgrading my pc 2) holidays 3) research.  
> The facts in this chapter are real and the artifacts described are all items the museum has displayed.  
> If you want to see some of these exhibits you can find them [here](http://a-bombdb.pcf.city.hiroshima.jp/pdbe/search/col_bombed).  
> Illustration to come!

_ He was standing in the chapel, walls of water around him.  _

_ A flash of light radiated outwards from it… _

_ Then waves of shimmering color. _

_ And with that, the chapel exploded. A column of smoke and water rolled skyward, you were blown off your feet into the sand. _

_ Arcs of electricity danced around the pillar and a rapidly approaching wave of water washed out further up the beach. _

_ The column of water began to rotate, a waterspout of electricity and surging waves. And then it began to expand. _

_ The speed from it kicked upwind that buffeted you so hard, it stole your breath. You couldn't see anyone. You struggled to your feet to run, staggering in the wet sand. The wall of water overtook you and everything went black.  _

_ You tried to breathe. _

_ When you opened your eyes you were in the doorway of a western-style bedroom. The ornamental rug had blood soaked deep into its fibers. _

_ Someone called to you from another room. _

_ "She's in here!" _

_ That's right… you were… _

You tried to grasp what you were meant to do as your mind surfaced into the waking world.

You were laying beneath a light blanket, a tentacle was protectively wrapped around you. It was still dark. The glow of the clock read 2:32 AM.

You were shaking, your heart felt like a lump of cold marble in your chest.

When was the last time you'd dreamed about that call?

Looking over, you saw that your companion had turned to focus on you.

He must have been not fully asleep…

"Reader?"

You reached out and clung to him, burying your face in his chest. He made a soft sound of alarm and held you close, "Are you alright?"

You nodded, "Nightmare…"

He held you close, "About?"

"Okinawa… and some old paramedic stuff…"

He didn't pry further, simply brushed your hair back and kissed your forehead, "Everything's alright…"

You nodded, just holding him, "I know…"

A hand cupped your cheek and you leaned into it. Lips found yours and you let the gentle comfort of his touch soothe you. You nuzzled him, "I love you."

He gently kissed your cheek, "And I, you."

After a few moments, he spoke again, "Would you like to sleep in tomorrow?"

You looked up at him, "When's the memorial?"

He ran a hand over your hair gently, "There's a morning memorial that lasts around an hour. It involves a moment of silence, dedications, and a few addresses. It's somber. In the evening is the lantern lighting ceremony. I thought we might visit the museum and then go to the second ceremony. 

You were a bit torn. You were restless and with one nightmare usually came rough sleep.

"Feels a bit like we're skipping out on honoring the people who died…"

"There is more than one way to honor them, Reader. We'll be learning their stories, seeing what happened, and contributing to the collective wish for peace. I think those things are just as important as the memorial itself." 

You considered this for a long moment and you recalled the smell of incense at Aguri's grave and the sound of the bell at the shrine.

A tiny paper crane perched on your outstretched palm... 

_ "Some things are worth taking time for…" _

A strand of messy cranes hastily shoved in the donation box.

_ "Sometimes there’s something worthwhile in symbols, Reader." _

This felt important to you… almost personal…

"We should go to the memorial." You said softly.

He looked at you for a long moment before giving a nod, "If that is what you would like."

You nodded, burying your face in his chest. He chuckled and the sound was like warm honeyed milk to your senses, soothing and reassuring.

You were eased back to sleep as his hand ran across your back in gentle strokes. No more nightmares came but you drifted in dreams of incense smoke, the classroom, and a pretty, gentle smile. 

And for once it wasn't his.

When you woke up your room was filled with pale morning sunshine and you were alone. Sitting up, you heard the sounds of movement in the kitchen. You poked your head into the living room and spotted telltale tentacles waving about just past the wall. There was the smell of pancakes.

One day you’d manage to get up and surprise him with breakfast instead. You sighed and peeked into the kitchen. 

You were having a few regrets about last night's hasty decision to go to the memorial this morning. You hadn't had more nightmares but the sleep disturbance and everything that had happened the last few days had you feeling hungover and exhausted.

Those regrets were quickly shoved aside by a yellow tentacle handing you a mug of coffee.

His iconic grin flashed at you, "I thought that after last night's nightmare you might need a pick me up."

You accepted it with a nod and as you took a sip you suddenly remembered  _ everything _ about last night.

Oh god?

OH, GOD?

You had  _ made out _ with the octopus.

_ Youhadsatonhislap. _

Blood rushed to your face and you felt like you might die.

The insistent way he'd kissed you back, how careful he'd been, and all of the soft touches…

How were you going to  _ look _ at him today?

You glanced up at him and mumbled your thanks, taking a seat at the table. He gave a quick nod, his face going pink, and zipped back to the kitchen.

…

Well, at least you didn’t seem to be the only one remembering last night.

You cleared your throat, “Uh, so what time is the memorial?”

“Eight o’clock.” he sounded grateful for the opportunity to talk about something simple.

The clock on your entertainment center showed that it was seven.

“So I have an hour to feel like a person.”

He chuckled, “I do hope that’s enough time. I know it’s been a rather stressful few days...”

“I’ll be fine.” you sighed, “I gotta shower anyway...”

Retrieving some clothes from the bedroom, you started to head to the shower and paused for a moment, just watching him in your kitchen going about the business of breakfast…

This was…

This was nice.

Carefully, you approached him and hugged him from behind, burying your face in his back. There was a soft sound of surprise and he glanced back at you, going pink. A tentacle came up to press against your back in the strangest but most comfortable hug you’d ever had.

Silently, you slipped away to the shower, unable to stop grinning.

You were fucking smitten and it was going to be the death of you.

One shower and awkward pancake breakfast later saw the two of you shooting off for Hiroshima. The memory of where you were going sobered you up from your love drunk nonsense. In no time you were approaching your destination.

The expansive city shimmered in the morning light. Sunlight glinted off the six rivers that flowed through it, sparkling brightly against the blue-gray waters below. There, at the split of two of them, was the Dome.

You’d seen it in photos hundreds of times. The stark shell of a building, the one thing left standing in the wake of the bombing.

And now it was below you, gleaming in the sunlight and surrounded by the lush green of late summer and the rattling cries of cicadas.

It was almost surreal.

He touched down in an out of the way location, quickly donning his disguise. He gestured for you to follow. You made your way to a place near the center of the park where shaded tents with seating had been set up in front of a small arched stone monument. The area was nearly filled to the brim with people. The majority were in formal attire typical of funerals but throughout the crowd, you could see many wore simpler clothing, the further back you went, the more casual it seemed to be.

Still, you were glad you opted for your work clothes, even with the heat. It made you feel less out of place. He located a pair of open seats near the back. There was a soft hissing of misters that were spraying the crowd to keep things cool. 

“That is the Cenotaph. It holds the names of all of the people killed by the bomb.” he said softly, “It’s shaped in an arch as a way to provide shelter for the souls of the victims.”

The crowd quieted as a collection of people moved forward in two lines. In their hands were small flasks made from bamboo. As they came to the front they paused and poured the water into two larger awaiting buckets and bowed. Before you could ask, he leaned over to you, “The Dedication of Water. The water is from seventeen different locations in the city. It’s done by older citizens of the city to honor the victims that died while looking for water.”

He needn’t have bothered because moments after a voice over the speakers spoke, announcing the Water Offering Ritual in both Japanese and English. 

You'd heard stories about the people begging for water. How one sip often killed them, apparently from shock...

One final bow and the procession made its way back, once again merging into the crowd.

The cicadas were loud and around you were the soft murmurs of the waiting crowd. 

Music began to swell, combatting the sound of the cicada’s cries. A somber, slow, orchestral march. Korosensei looked over to you, “This is the dedication of the register of names of the fallen atomic bomb victims.”

Three people came forward. Two were given large trays holding ledgers. They made their way to the cenotaph where the ledgers were exchanged, stored away safely inside the monument.

An opening address was given. You felt a hand clasp yours gently and glanced at him. He gave it a squeeze.

There was quiet applause followed by the announcement of the Dedication of Flowers. More individuals came forward with wreaths, laying them at the front of the cenotaph as the titles of the representatives were read. Still more people approached each bearing bouquets to place alongside the wreaths.

When they had filed back to their seats two individuals came to stand by the peace bell.

“She represents the bereaved families. He is a representative of the children. When the bell is rung there will be a moment of silence.” he whispered to you.

The resonating tone of the bell rang out, rising and falling softly. The crowd fell silent, the only sounds that of cicadas and the vibration of the bell. An echoing note you could hear in your bones.

Around you, all heads were bowed in silent prayer. You joined them.

When the moment had passed, the Mayor came forward to give a Declaration of Peace. He described the destruction of the bomb from the view of the victims. How the event went to affect the lives of the survivors. Social stigma, illness, and fear. There was a call for peace, for the people of the world to heed the words of the hibakusha who had survived the bombing so that this may never happen again. 

You leaned slightly against your companion, he squeezed your hand again.

Why did humans do this to each other?

You thought of Okinawa. You wanted to hurt Takaoka because of what he had done… but why did he want to hurt others?

Power?

Control?

A flock of doves was released over the crowd and then a pair of children approached the podium. Together, they read out their own declaration of peace as representatives of the children of Hiroshima. They talked about how they had grown up hearing about the event from those that lived through it. They pledged to carry on the message of the hibakusha, to press for peace until we lived in a world without war.

Okinawa was still on your mind.

Nagisa hadn't only taken Takaoka out. He'd done so without killing him. He'd even  _ thanked _ him…

Maybe the next generation would be better at this.

A funny thought given the classroom you managed...

When the children had finished, there began a series of addresses from the Prime Minister and other representatives making similar pledges for peace.

You'd never thought to announce your pacifism, not until it came up for this job, but it was slowly becoming something that defined you. 

Not a bad banner to take up in your profession.

Though it was about far more than that...

Music swelled and a choir began to sing. The song was about triumph over sorrow, about the spreading of peace, about the ringing of the peace bell.

You could still feel the echo of that bell in your bones...

And with that and one final closing statement, the event ended and the crowd began to disperse.

"A lovely ceremony." He said, "very moving."

You nodded, still a bit lost in thought.

"Shall we?" He rose, offering you his arm, "There's a monument here I would like you to see."

You joined him.

You made your way past the cenotaph where there was a long pond here which hosted an eternal flame flickering pale in the morning light. You crossed a street towards a monument surrounded by color and greenery.

In the center, a tall oblong stone monument stood. It had three sharply arching legs and perched at the top, triumphantly holding a wireframe paper crane, was-

“Sasaki Sadako.” he said, staring up at the figure, “This is the Children’s Peace Monument, also called the Tower of a Thousand Cranes. The statue itself is named  _ Atomic Bomb Children _ .”

You stared up at the stone pedestal. On either side of the pedestal, just below her were two children, arms and legs outstretched as though flying, eyes trained skyward.

“The cases there, around the base...” he gestured and you saw that the flashes of color you had seen were glass cases housing what had to be hundreds of thousands of paper cranes. Long strands of cranes dangled, displays made of cranes were pressed against the glass, you saw a woman standing under the glass-roofed shelter of the cases, hanging up another collection in one of them.

You stared in awe, “There’s so many...”

“And those are just the ones on display. They average donations of ten million cranes a year.”

Ten million.

That was  _ ten thousand _ senbazuru.

You shook your head, “That’s amazing...”

You circled around the cases, admiring the displays. They were bright and beautiful. There were dedications from schools and classrooms, individual donations, group donations, flat displays made of cranes with words of peace across them…

When you finally looked up you saw he was standing, staring at you. A look of fondness on his face. You joined him at the monument, “They’re beautiful.”

He chuckled, “See?  _ Perfectly _ suited to you.”

You felt your cheeks burn and turned your attention to the monument for a distraction. A bell hung inside the monument, a golden crane and long silver chain dangling from it. 

Below a black marble slab bore the words:

_ Kore wa bokura no sakebi desu. Kore wa watashitachi no inori desu. Sekai ni heiwa o kizuku tame no _

You trailed your fingers along it, reading aloud, "This is our cry, this is our prayer: for building peace in the world."

“This monument was petitioned for by her class.”

You looked up at him, “It was?”

“She developed leukemia in 1954, in the 6th grade. Most of her class had lost family to the bomb. The class formed a group called the Unity Club as a way of staying in touch when school had ended. When Sadako fell ill they would visit her in the hospital. She passed away the next year. Her classmates came together to do something to honor her and began the Thousand Cranes Movement. They did fund-raising and were able to have this monument erected in her honor three years later.”

“Three years?” you stared up at it, “Those kids were the same age as our class then.”

He nodded, “Her classmates still hold meetings today and are active in telling the story of the bomb. They share their experiences and encourage the pledges for peace.”

It reminded you of Tomita Farm suddenly.

A man sees a field of lavender and decides to grow it for the rest of his life.

These children lost a friend and had spent their lives afterward honoring that friend and their hopes for peace.

It was an amount of dedication you hadn’t seen before.

“Contrary to what Miss Irina said,” he spoke softly, “Sadako’s wish was not only for 

her health.”

You looked at him. His eyes remained fixed on the golden crane above you, “She wished for a world without nuclear weapons.”

Standing, you stepped forward and reached out, ringing the bell.

It vibrated in your very bones…

From there, he lead you back the way you had come, towards a long building at the southern end of the park.

The Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum.

You purchased your passes and entered in silence heading to the beginning of the exhibit. The crowd was sparser than you expected, you supposed because of the early hour. They were just opening when you arrived. 

In the entryway was a display showing the date. August 6, 1945. Displayed alongside it were stark black and white photographs against a white wall, all shots of the mushroom cloud taken from a closer range than you had ever seen. A map alongside indicated where the images were taken.

As you rounded the corner you found yourself in a dimly lit hall, floor lighting along the sides illuminated ruined brick structures whose open windows framed panoramas on the walls of the destroyed skyline.

He paused for a moment, looking at the scene.

The lighting of the area shone on the display and framed him as a black silhouette against it. 

An ominous figure against a ruined landscape.

Was  _ this _ what the government imagined when they looked at him?

Around the next corner, you were met with an alcove showcasing a land of ruin, broken buildings, rubble, and bodies. Standing amongst the red-lit scene were wax figures. A mother and child both horrifically burned with strips of flesh hanging from their limbs and a girl…

A girl who looked to be only a little older than your students. Her expression dazed, her arms held out before her in the same way as the mother and child. Hair frizzed from heat and burns decorating her body.

You felt a tentacled hand come to rest on your shoulder as you moved to the next room.

The walls were lined with floor to ceiling images of the ruins. Glass cases displayed artifacts from the event. Around their bases were broken bricks, an extension of the ruined landscape the walls portrayed.

A watch stopped at the time of the bomb. Clothing, torn, discolored with age and ruin, lay spread out for viewing. A mass of hair. A lunchbox. A water bottle. A geta.

All with their own stories of trauma and loss.

You paused at each, reading of the people that left them behind.

Their names swam through your mind without faces. Only items.

Mamoru. Found burned black by his wife. A mass of hair.

Reiko, 12. A metal lunchbox filled with the carbonized remains of a meal.

Tetsuo, 12. Exposed to the bomb, died of his injuries a day later. A metal water bottle.

Miyoko, 13. A geta found two months after the bomb. Identified by the straps her mother recognized.

Kengo, 59. Died August 22nd from burns. A pocket watch given to him by his son.

There were so many items on display…

So many stories…

Your heart  _ ached _ .

As you turned to your companion you saw that he had drifted away. You moved to join him at a large circular exhibit.

It was a map. A diorama, more like, of the ruined city and which buildings were left standing. Hanging above was a red ball to indicate the point of the blast. You found it odd that the buildings at the center had remained standing.

This location, this park, had been near the epicenter of destruction.

He stared down at the map, silent.

Your eyes drifted to the crescent moon on his tie.

What must it be like for him coming here?

If he lived till March…

He could destroy the Earth entire...

You were dating a weapon of  _ unfathomable _ destruction. 

You saw his smile shift, the ends contorting down in a grimace.

He was more than aware of that fact.

You reached out, taking his hand gently, the loose fingers of his gloves dangling. You got a small squeeze in response.

Overhead a video played showing videos of the destruction with an overlay of poetry.

He saw you staring up at it and spoke softly, reading it.

_ “'A white road. _

_ A white road in Hiroshima. _

_ Mother walked that scorching road _

_ Barefooted, _

_ Working clothes all torn. _

_ And I, who had been born _

_ Just 40 days before, _

_ Held in those arms, _

_ Gazed up with eyes of innocence _

_ To where the deep blue sky _

_ Stretched wide, she said. _

_ The white mushroom cloud _

_ Moved like a sea slug, _

_ Growing wide, and wider still. _

_ Mid-summer phantoms _

_ And those hateful things _

_ That happened long ago _

_ Are all so infinitely sad. _

_ The image of that single _

_ Long white road _

_ Lies in the corner of my mother's heart _

_ And mine _

_ And does not even try to die. _

_ The road stretched on and on; _

_ An endless road, _

_ White, dust-covered, soiled by grief. _

_ The road began that moment, _

_ The road without an end, _

_ The road we've walked without a pause, _

_ For fourteen years. _

_ Mother is tired. _

_ And I am tired. _

_ And when beset by waves _

_ Of sadness and exhaustion _

_ She lay a while to rest. _

_ Her tears fell on my face _

_ And left their patterns in the dust. _

_ A white road. _

_ A white road in Hiroshima.” _

You leaned against him and you felt his hand rest on your shoulder, squeezing it gently.

As you moved on, you found yourself looking at a replica of the bomb. A cross-section showed it’s interior, each part of the devastating weapon labeled neatly, methodically. A simple illustration of something that resulted in so much death…

His expression shifted as he looked at it.

You supposed for an ex-test subject something like this was hitting home for him.

Yes, he’d been created in hopes of developing a technology that would change the world for the better but in the end? It had been used for destructive purposes.

Mankind was a fucking trainwreck of bad choices.

And here were more items. More stories…

Jiro, 31. His watch and a belt buckle found by his wife and brother in law. Only bones remained.

Kazuhiko, 12. A cloth shoe found after his mother had cremated his body.

One item made you pause. A rusted, ruined tricycle.

Shinichi, 3.

You read the placard silently.

It told the story of three-year-old Shinichi Tetsutani who loved his tricycle. He’d been caught outside in the flash and was horribly burned. He passed away in the night and his father buried him in the backyard with his tricycle so that he could be close to home.

Forty years later, he exhumed the body and laid the boy to rest with his family. The tricycle he gave to the museum.

You had no words for this.

Only a great sense of loss, of pain.

And, above all else, a yearning for a day when there would be no threats of this sort of loss again.

As you turned, you found yourself staring at a display showcasing  a tattered boy’s school uniform worn by a bamboo mannequin. The individual parts had been gathered from three different children to make one uniform. Your mind immediately conjured the faces of the boys in your classroom.

But it was Kanzaki’s voice that echoed in your memory…

_ “It's just that you're really protective. It seems like you'd want to try to kill him." _

You looked over at him, he was somberly observing the exhibit.

_ "... Given everything like… how are you okay with us killing him?" _

_ "I'm not." _

They didn’t know his story. His history.

But…

You looked at the exhibit around you…

Was his life  _ worth _ protecting?

He would do more than cause destruction.

He would  _ obliterate the planet _ .

The world would  _ cease to be _ .

This man had killed people. Destroyed lives. Why should  _ he _ be allowed to live?

Because you loved him? Wasn’t that a selfish reason?

You turned to see him taking notes.

“What are you doing?”

“Recording information for the students. I’m certain this would be an interesting history lesson for them...”

Still focused on teaching…

It was more than love that made you want to save him, you supposed. It was redemption.

You moved to the next exhibit, your mind preoccupied with its moral conundrum.

This man had killed. He’d been so dangerous that he’d been given the name of death itself. And now, here he was, passionately writing up a lesson plan for his students. Throwing himself into this younger generation, into teaching them. All out of love and promise…

If that wasn’t a changed person, you didn’t know what was.

You found yourself standing before a large glass case that contained a set of stone stairs and wall, a section of a building from the war. They were pale, with a shadowed mark across them.

The placard read  _ “Human Shadow Etched in Stone” _

You stared at the darkened space for a moment before reading on.

An unknown victim sitting waiting for the bank to open had died on the spot from their burns. The heat and light had bleached the stone but their shadow had remained. 

A photo below showed the location during the time of the event. The steps were blackened where the person had sat. On the steps displayed the shadow was still visible, lightened by time but visible all the same.

A suitable metaphor for his past. Invisible, gone, with the barest trace left behind...

He looked up from his notes, his eyes narrowing, a small hint of amusement to his voice, "I see your Detective Face is back."

"Just thinking…" you turned back to the other exhibits for a moment, surveying the room.

The ruined clothing of long-dead children.

The ghosts of mankind's horrors.

"About March?"

You gave a small nod, "Partially."

"This place is certainly a reminder… though the result would not be as painful."

You looked at him, "How so?"

"The result wouldn't leave survivors." His voice was matter of fact but hollow, "The world would simply cease to exist. As if it had never been."

He turned his attention back to the steps before you, focusing on the pale shadow.

_ As if it had never been... _

The way he said it sent a chill down your spine.

The devastating effects of the bomb on the environment was displayed in stalks of bamboo cracked from the heat, burned bark that had been blasted from the trees, melted roof tiles with their surfaces bubbled up in uneven globs of glaze.

And then there were the effects on the people…

A chart showed the classifications of the burns people were given based on proximity to the bomb. Surrounding it were photos of survivors. Burned, their skin blackened by the heat. Faces unrecognizable. Their skin crusted in scabs, limbs seemingly fused into place by their burns.

One image was of a woman, her back to the camera, her kimono pulled down to display her shoulder and back. Across her skin were cross-hatched lines.

“The darker colored fabrics absorbed more heat.” Korosensei said softly, looking at the image, “And that heat transferred to the skin. Patterns from clothing were burned onto survivors.”

You stared at the images. An array of human suffering.

And for what?

A war that was already ending? 

A nation on the verge of surrender?

You moved along. There were more displays of melted and warped items alongside glass fragments removed from the injured and strange deformed fingernails that had grown from the afflicted. 

Large metal shutters stood to one side, their card read that they had belonged to the Hiroshima Army Clothing Depot. They were pushed inward, bent and twisted.

A display showcased melted glass soda bottles, lumps of steel frames and debris fused from the heat. Ceramics melted together into clumps and clusters.

Melted bits of a lunchbox with a shattered pipe that had belonged to one Masataro Okahara, 49. He’d been in his office. His wife had searched for him desperately. A week after the event she found his skeleton in his office chair, his melted lunchbox and broken pipe within arms reach.

And here there was a chunk of glass bottles, stacked as though ready for shipment but completely fused together. You leaned in to read the plaque.

Fujitsuka Tadashi, 4. His entire body had been burned and he died the day after. His elder brother, Minoru, returned later in the year from military service and was shocked by the ruin before him. The fused glass bottles had been unearthed from a local ink factory. 

When Minoru saw the fused glass he had softly said, “Must have been really hot.”

Another long display, ceramics fused together, a metal buddha split and melted, statues bleached and burned by the bomb, twisted glass bottles, debris solidified into lumps of stone.

The fireball that had rendered a person's shadow on stone steps, that had distorted the environment, and murdered so many had been 6,000 °C on its surface. As hot as the core of the Earth or the surface of the sun.

_ "Must have been really hot" _

Your eyes prickled with tears.

Hands came to rest on your shoulders and you bowed your head.

“Are you alright?”

You nodded and turned to him, “I’m fine.”

And you were. You were alive and healthy and you had at the bare minimum seven and a half months to live if things didn’t go well.

And if it came to that, well…

You would be gone in an instant.

He would be gone in an instant.

_ As if it had never been... _

Compared to these stories, being erased in that way didn’t seem so terrible. Infinitely sad, to blip out of existence but without suffering…

He looped an arm gently around you and guided you to the next display.

A white plaster wall, long streaks of blackened liquid had dried on its surface, staining it.

“Black rain.” your companion spoke softly, his eyes focused on the item on display, “Carbon from the wildfires and radioactive substances from the bomb bonded with the rain. The heat from the fireball and the lack of clean water had survivors desperate for fluids. So they drank it.”

You remembered the morning’s service, the dedication of water...

“And it poisoned them.” you replied softly, “Because of the radiation.“

You saw him reflected in the glass before you. He gave a nod.

There was clothing stained by the rain.

And then there were photos of the sick…

Radiation sickness. People with bleeding under their skin, bleeding from the gums, hair falling out. Keloid scarring, cataracts, cancer...

The blast, the fires, it had not been enough.

The bomb delivered more suffering. 

And then…

On a pedestal within a glass case lit from beneath…

Cranes.

Forty paper cranes.

_Sadako's_ _cranes._

They rested on a circular glass platform. Not arranged in any neat order but instead lightly placed as though maybe their maker had simply been called away from the process and would soon return.

They varied in size and quality. Some made from paper others from wrappers or printed pages.

They reminded you of Terasaka's. Unique, messy, genuine.

"Why are they so small?"

You asked the question without expecting an answer but of course you companion spoke up, "She didn't have many materials to work with while in the hospital so she had to use what she was given or what she could find. Some were so small they required a needle to assist in the folding."

So much effort into something that seemed so impermanent…

And yet…

Her dedication to this task had made her a lasting symbol of peace.

And here were her tiny pieces of impermanence still on display for all to see…

_ "Sometimes there’s something worthwhile in symbols, Reader." _

Along the wall was a timeline of her life with photos of her, her classmates at school, her in a kimono. Little red sandals and a red drawstring bag were on display, made to match her kimono.

And here…

A black and white photo of her in her casket buried in so many flowers only her face showed…

But her timeline went on.

Her message continued. The story of its spread was laid out. How she became a symbol of peace, how her monument was built. There were photos of world leaders, ambassadors, and many others folding cranes to donate to the museum.

Pledges of peace.

You found yourself standing there, lost in this history.

At the beginning of the year, this crane business had seemed arbitrary. A childish whim started by children in strange circumstances.

Knowing more history you wondered if there was more to their choice.

If they folded a thousand what would they wish for?

What would you wish for?

The crane had, without you realizing it, become embedded in your worldview. An emblem in which you saw a reflection of self and also unity. Senbazuru were many, not one, all for the same cause.

But…

In your classroom you weren't for the cause…

A disharmonious piece of discord amongst the unified opposition.

You weren't sure how long you stood there, considering the view but at some point you felt a familiar weight as he leaned over your shoulders.

You reached up, clasping his hand. You kept your voice quiet, “Are you sure I belong in this class?”

He made a soft sound of surprise at your question, “Of course! Why would you ask that?”

“Pacifism.”

He chuckled softly, “That is exactly  _ why _ you belong.”

You looked back at him and his voice gentled, “If the children succeed then they have their whole lives ahead of them. What I teach comes from an unusual place. Your teaching is far more inclined to help them after...”

The silence hung between you.

_ After he died. _

His words at the pool came back to you.

_ “If something were to happen to me... If I left. If I’m killed... You intend to stay, don’t you?” _

_ “What else would I do?” _

_ “And that is why it gives me peace of mind.” _

Peace of mind.

The tears you had been holding back spilled over and he quickly supplied you with a tissue.

“Now, now, Reader… it’s not as bad as all that...” his voice was chipper but there was an undercurrent of melancholy.

You shook your head, “It’s okay...”

It was just…

So much...

The two of you moved forward through further exhibits. Stories of rescue workers. Ledgers of the dead. The lives of those that survived. 

Of the hibakusha.

The people affected by the bomb.

Increased risk of cancer, social stigma, fears that their children would be affected.

The bomb still claimed victims… even today.

As you exited you saw a black and white photo of plants springing forth in the destruction. There, in white text, was written:

_ 'That autumn _

_ In Hiroshima where it was said _

_ "For seventy-five years nothing will grow" _

_ New buds sprouted _

_ In the green that came back to life _

_ Among the charred ruins _

_ People recovered _

_ Their living hopes and courage' _

As you made your way to leave, a specific photo on display caught your eye.

A classroom of elementary children standing outside in the bright sun. Some of their fellow students leaned out the windows to be in the photo. In the center was their teacher, smiling proudly, arms looped around a few of the kids.

It was familiar and unfamiliar all at once.

How many had survived, you wondered.

Beside the display was a chart showing casualty rates of school children by their distance to the hypocenter of the bomb.

The school in question was 1.1 kilometers away.

85.3%

_ As if it had never been… _

As you walked out into the bright sun you hoped that somehow this year would turn out okay.

That all of you, him included, could avoid being unmade.

You wandered the grounds of the park with him, taking in the sights. It was hard to believe that this spot had been a wasteland. It was so lush, vibrant and green…

After some time he dragged you to a local ramen shop insistent that you get a bite to eat. You hadn’t felt much like eating after everything you had seen but the moment food was placed in front of you your body remembered what hunger was and you happily ate.

After lunch, you continued to explore the park and its monuments until evening began to fall. He lead you to a tent that was set up for the purchase of paper lanterns. You chuckled, “I think you’re almost more invested than I am for this.”

He looked back at you, “Of course! It’s a chance to participate in something that I will never see again.”

He spoke so casually about his death here…

Maybe because he felt the need to normalize it with you.

As you stood in line he continued, "In a way these wishes are twofold."

"How do you mean?"

"The lanterns they use for this event are made from the donated paper cranes. They recycle them over time to make these, notebooks, and other items. So this lantern will carry your message but it also contains the intent of those before you."

You smiled, "That's sweet."

It was a lovely thought.

You both purchased lanterns from the staff, his yellow and yours blue, and were directed to a table with pens to write your messages. 

You took the pen in hand and wrote across the lantern the same wish you'd had at the temple,

_ Please don't let this year be our last. _

A wish you knew would go ungranted. A hopeless wish...

You heard his voice, gentle beside you.

"An admirable plea."

You looked over to him. His lantern was covered in words. Long strings of text encircling it. You skimmed them.

_ I hope that one day my skills will not be needed. That no child should suffer or fear. _

_ I hope my class will have bright peaceful futures. _

_ I hope this discovery dies with me. _

_ I hope that it will be quick. _

_ I hope that Reader will find peace of mind after March... _

The list went on, some incredibly vague others incredibly specific. All heartfelt.

And all heartbreaking...

You leaned against him for a moment and he looped an arm around you, "Let's get these assembled, shall we?"

Volunteers helped you fit the paper of your lantern over the frame and you were directed to the river.

The sun was setting, the sky a deep purple with streaks of rose and red. Assistants stood on platforms, accepting lanterns from attendants. They would light the candle inside and gently set them loose in the water.

You watched as your lanterns bobbed and weaved in the growing darkness, joining the array of multicolored lights on the river’s surface.

It was beautiful...

Hopeful...

As you watched them recede into the night, you felt a sense of calm.

Of peace.

It wasn't over.

It wasn't the end.

You still had seven and a half months.

And you intended to live them to the fullest.

Once home, you flopped onto the couch, leaning against him. A tentacle came to rest across your shoulders.

He'd seemed distant since the park and you felt guilty. Yes, he'd suggested the trip but you hadn't thought of the effect it might have on him.

You reached up, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand, "Are you okay?"

He looked at you quizzically, "Yes? Why wouldn't I be?"

"That… well…. The topic was really dark and focused on the loss of life…"

"It does give me pause. It was a dark moment in history. People can be tremendously cruel to one another. And yet, the response in its wake is inspiring."

"You…" you looked up at him, "Well…"

"I have the potential to obliterate mankind." He spoke quietly, "It was power I wanted and power was what I was given… But I am grateful to Aguri, to the class, and to you for keeping me from that path. The threat is still inevitable of course, but I could have been a danger far sooner."

You remembered his recount of his escape and sat up, climbing into his lap. Gently you pulled him close. He seemed surprised but accepted the embrace readily, nuzzling you.

His hands came up, rubbing at your back. You sagged against him, letting the soft touch comfort you. You felt warmth and realized that a few more tentacles had been drawn out to hold you close. You smiled and turned your face against his neck, laying light kisses there. In the calm quiet, you began to drift off.

Your dreams were filled with mushroom clouds and paper cranes.


	81. Catharsis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

You woke up sometime in the night in a familiar futon, warm and quiet, still wearing the pajamas you’d thrown on when you’d gotten home. You felt warmth against your back and when you turned to look you were met with a grin.

"Oh, Reader… did I wake you?"

You shook your head. 

"Ah, good…"

Something about his tone was off. You rolled to face him noticing that he was wearing a nightdress with a starry pattern on it, "Have you been awake this whole time?"

He chuckled in his infuriating way, green stripes appearing, "Reader surely you recall that I don't need sle-"

You put a hand over his mouth, "Okay smartass, you _ know _ what I meant."

He looked away and you reached out, embracing him…

Only to find his body tense, muscles hard and knotted under his skin.

"Are you okay?" You gently tried to knead at his shoulders and he winced, "Are you hurt!?"

He shook his head, "Only tense. It will pass."

You stared at him, “You’re  _ tense? _ ”

“Okinawa was quite stressful!”

“No offense but you literally have the structural integrity of jello most of the time. I didn’t know you could get tense.”

He rolled onto his back with a sigh, “When one’s body is primarily muscles it tends to do that.”

“Is that what that pressure ray does?”

“No, that relies on the dilatancy of my skin.”

“...dilatancy?”

“Are you familiar with quicksand or a cornstarch and water mixture’s properties?”

“Wait… cornstarch and water? Like Oobleck? That stuff you make for school projects?”

He nodded, “Exactly. Non-newtonian fluids as they’re called.”

“Wait, wait, but you don’t liq- Okay so you can liquify but like...”

He chuckled, watching as you tried to puzzle it out.

“Okay but...” you lay there, thinking for a moment, “How do you maintain your shape if that’s the case?”

“One of the many fascinating aspects of tentacles.” he chuckled.

Your eyes widened, “Wait, wait, is that why the anti-sensei materials work on you? Your parts melt when they fall off and...” you stared at him, trying to sort out how you felt about knowing your boyfriend had all the properties of quicksand.

He laughed, “In part, yes. There are other aspects of course designed to interact with my particular makeup.”

“Wait, so if that’s the case, how the hell can you have tense muscles?”

“Well, while my composition relies to a degree on dilatancy, I can modify as needed.” he held up a tendril, splitting it into a few small branches, “I often utilize a modified version of muscular hydrostats to-”

“I KNEW IT!”

He jumped, staring at you. You felt your face burn, you hadn’t meant to be so loud.

“I uh… I thought that might be like… I mean octopi are like that…”

He chuckled evilly, green stripes decorating his face, “Why _ Reader  _ I had no idea you were so _ interested _ in my anatomy.~”

“Oh my god!” you laughed, putting a hand on his face.

He simply smirked at you, reaching up to move your hand aside, “Does that answer your questions?”

“You’re still confusing as hell but yes.”

He chuckled and laid back, closing his eyes.

You propped your head up on one hand, watching him for a long moment.

"You know, I could give you a massage." 

He went pink, his tone full of flustered surprise, "Ah… well if you wouldn't mind I would happily accept."

Sitting up, you coaxed him to lie on his stomach and gently squeezed at his shoulders. 

He made a face, "Ah...Reader...my body isn't quite like yours." 

You paused, "True, uh..."

"Here..."

Tendrils came up, guiding your hands through motions, showing you which muscles to roll and stretch. It was an odd sensation, especially given what you had just learned.

You watched attentively. This must be a bit novel to him. When you thought you had it down you began to apply pressure. Carefully, you rolled his shoulders the way he'd shown you and his body sagged. He gave a soft moan as you kneaded the muscles of his back.

"Yes, Reader… like that-" he was cut off by a moan as you worked a knuckle against a knot you'd found.

Ohhhh that was…

That was  _ really hot… _

You felt your face burning but continued your motions.

You kept it up, kneading at tense, hard spots until they softened and eased. He was practically a puddle of happy octopus under your hands. His breathing would hitch from time to time, soft sounds of pleasure coming from him as you worked out the kinks of his muscles. You chuckled and shifted, getting on your knees for a bit better leverage.

He lay on his stomach, calm and content. His smile relaxed and his body a pale pink.

_ Cute. _

You rose and straddled him, reaching to massage further down his back-

And found yourself flung bodily across the room into the couch, the wind knocked out of you. You coughed, gasping in shock. When you sat up and oriented yourself you saw him standing there, eyes wide, face pale blue, trembling.

What…

What was  _ that _ ?

He immediately snapped to and approached you in a flurry of concern, “ _ I’m so sorry Reader! _ Are you alright? I didn’t mean to-”

You were fine.  _ Startled _ but fine.  _ Worried _ but fine.

You reached up, grabbing his flailing hands and looked at him, “Hey, hey, calm down. I'm okay...”

He looked shamefaced, his hands squeezed yours tightly.

You frowned, “What was that?”

“I-” he faltered, “You surprised me...”

Well, that was  _ definitely _ not the truth.

Not  _ all _ of it anyhow.

“Hey...” you reached out, cupping his face, “Look you’ve never done something like _ that _ to me before. What happened? What did I do?”

His face contorted, anxiousness rising to the surface, “Reader, it’s not your fault.”

You remembered how both before and after Everest he’d seemed… unnerved once or twice while you’d laid together.

“Did something happen?”

He looked exhausted suddenly, "Ah… well...I…"

Softly, you asked, “What am I doing that's scaring you?"

You squeezed his hand gently. He squeezed back and took a breath, steadying himself.

"You know my history…" he spoke quietly, "Well, the broad strokes at least… Being in a vulnerable position is… it's frightening..." You stared at him in surprise. Panic showed up on his features again, "It's not that I don't trust you, Reader, I just…"

You gave his hand another squeeze. He returned the gesture.

You had seen him panicked and anxious before but this was something else. A nervous uncertain fear.

He sighed, "I don't often ask that you keep things from the children…"

"But you want me to keep this quiet."

He nodded slowly.

“Of course.”

His voice was awkward and sheepish, "I… I'm not exceptionally strong.”

Bold words from a man who had just flung you across the room.

“Given the right circumstances, I could be easily held down by the class… of course, they would have to catch me first." He gave a dry sort of chuckle, "When you… ah…"

Realization began to settle in, "When you feel pinned down it scares you."

"Yes." He sighed with relief, "Exactly."

"That's okay." 

There was something to his expression, "But we… we’re..."

"We're together. You trust me." You said softly, "That doesn't mean fears vanish overnight."

He looked… it was odd. The smile was still there but the corners of the crescent turned down in a grimace. Blue colored his features, "I don't want to feel this way with you."

"This way?"

"Frightened."

He was the most precious person you'd ever known...

You sat back on the couch looking at him, "Why are you afraid of it?"

He was on his knees before you, fretting. Reaching out, you pulled him close so that he was cradled against your front. He went pink and buried his face in your chest.

Nervous and flustered in that way was way more manageable. He wasn't incredibly heavy. It was a nice warm sort of weight. 

Reaching down, you lightly ran your hand over his head and to his cheek. He leaned into it. 

"It feels dangerous… vulnerable."

"Okay, yeah, that's how you feel. But why do you feel that way? Like… is it because of what you did before?"

There was a long quiet on his end. A tense sort of silence and for a moment you worried you'd upset him. When you were about to tell him not to worry about it, he spoke.

"There was a man named Micah."

A name for someone in his past. Another puzzle piece…

"He knew my father and one day I was told I belonged to him…"

You were silent, listening as you ran your hand over his head.

"I had been sold to pay a debt.”

You recalled the day he’d told you about his past.

_ Parents sold their children... _

_ Friends and lovers betrayed each other in a heartbeat... _

“Once bought I was put to work."

You felt a chill run through you. How old was he? There were only so many things people bought children for, none were good…

"Micah owned a shop. It appeared to be an antique store but it was, in fact, a front. From there we sold anything that could be made for murder.” 

You stared at him in surprise.

“I spent my childhood learning how to make bombs, drugs, and ammunition.”

And with that one fact, so much about him fell into place.

“I was lucky because I was smart. That made me useful. There were far worse tasks a child of eight could have been put to.”

You continued to stroke his cheek.

“By night, I worked. If I disturbed Micah I was beaten. Knocked down, stepped upon. There were times I was sure he'd kill me…" he paused, quieting, "During the day, I would sneak books from the shop’s display cases. I read everything I could. If there was one thing I had learned from watching Micah and the men he worked with, it was that there were only two things that could get me out of that shop. Being smart and being brutal.”

He nuzzled into your chest for a moment and you just held him, running your hands over him gently. 

“It took me two years but at the age of ten, I killed for the first time. I became an assassin at fourteen.” He took a shaky breath, “My first kill was Micah.”

He looked up at you and you saw a mixture of shame and worry in his expression.

You leaned in and kissed him gently. He returned the kiss and nuzzled into your chest again.

"So… how you were treated… is that where it comes from?"

"In part. When you're young and on your own, you have to always be careful.”

“...and you don't remember your name?”

“I’m sure I had one once… but it’s long forgotten now. Micah called me ‘the boy’ most of the time...”

You nuzzled him, holding him close.

"Its okay." You whispered to him softly, "I love you no matter where you came from or what you've done or what you're called."

There was a long moment of silence, his face buried in your front. 

Then… there was a soft broken sound and you felt wetness seeping through your shirt. You cradled him to your chest protectively.

"If getting comfortable with that feeling is something you want to try we can do that, but don't force yourself…" you whispered to him, kissing his head, "I love you either way."

He sighed, holding you tightly.

You let him cry, petting him.

You'd had help when you'd been alone, scared. When you'd lost someone dear to you…

He'd had no one and there was  _ so much _ he was still processing…

After a while he looked up, he'd faded from blue to an embarrassed pink. You kissed him gently.

"I'm quite the mess…" he said softly, clearly flustered by his impromptu crying session.

"That's okay." You smiled at him, "Most of us are."

He relaxed and kissed you gently.

You smiled, "Hey…"

He looked at you curiously.

"You wanna go on a date?" You grinned, "Like candles, roses, whole nine yards kind of date?"

He went deep magenta, "Ah… what brought that on…?"

"Well, we haven't… and I thought maybe you could use a pick me up…"

His expression was full of fondness. He touched his forehead to yours, "I would love that."

You kissed him lightly, “Tomorrow maybe?”

“Yes.” he let out a long sigh, a sound of relief… of letting go, “Reader...”

“Hm?”

“Thank you...”

You kissed him again, soft and slow, “Let’s go to bed.”

He nodded and the two of you slid back into the futon.

When you were settled, you felt a hand come to rest on your back. You glanced at him.

“I thought I might return the favor...” he said softly.

“You going to leave me like Irina afterward?” you smirked.

He went pink and shook his head, “I think that might be a bit much for tonight.” 

Well… that definitely had you curious. What constituted ‘a bit much’?

“May I?” he squeezed gently at your shoulder. 

You nodded and he began to slowly rub at your back and neck. You relaxed. His hands were warm, soft, yet firm. You rolled onto your stomach, turning your head to look at him, “I love you.”

He seemed to practically melt at that, “And I you...”

You found yourself nodding off. The last thing you felt before you slipped into oblivion was him gathering you to his chest and a soft kiss pressed against your forehead.


	82. Redemption and Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry ya'll, I didn't forget you. *finger guns*  
> Illustration to come!

You woke up earlier than you expected. The sun was just rising, the light in the room still a deep shadowed blue. Beside you, the object of your affection lay on his back, one arm under you, the other flung upwards, his mouth slightly open in his sleep.

Carefully, you eased yourself to your feet and padded to the kitchen. For once you were going to cook _him_ breakfast before he woke up. 

Your poor little AC unit wasn’t cutting enough through the heat so you opted for something both cool and easy. Hiyashi chūka would be simple enough. Throwing on a pot of water to boil, you tossed in some ramen. Keeping an eye on the time, you pulled out your other ingredients. Cucumber, ham, egg, tomato... 

That should be good. You took out the cutting board and laid the veggies and ham on it then grabbed a pan and a bowl. With a pair of chopsticks, you whisked the egg and poured it in the pan to cook in a thin sheet. When you were satisfied that it was cooked properly, you slid it onto a plate, cutting it into pieces and popping it in the fridge to chill. Turning to the noodles, you strained them, running them under cold water to chill them. When they were cold enough, you tossed them into a pair of bowls and turned your attention to the vegetables and ham. Carefully, you chopped them into thin pieces, arranging bundles of each on top of the noodles. You did the same with the chilled egg and pulled out a bottle of sesame sauce to top both bowls.

You peeked back through the window to the living room. He was still asleep.

Good.

You set about making tea and chopping a bit of fruit for the side. It wasn't much but you could arrange the fruit in a heart shape…

Quietly, you arranged things at the table, making sure it looked presentable before creeping into the living room. 

He was _still_ out like a light. This was the first time you'd seen him sleep in. Last night must have been a lot...

You kneeled down, gently kissing his cheek, "Hey, Cuddlefish, it's time to get up..~"

He sleepily cracked an eye open and you smiled, "Good morning."

He promptly wrapped his tentacles around you and rolled so that you were under him. Chuckling, he kissed you, "Good morning, Reader."

You laughed looking up at him. He was just over you, his expression soft and warm. You felt yourself blush, "I made breakfast."

He paled, "But I was going to- what time is it?" 

You laughed, "It's 9:30 AM. Congrats, you got to sleep in."

His expression shifted. He was already fretting about it. You pulled him down, kissing him gently, "Relax. I got to make _you_ breakfast for once."

"But I-"

You kissed him again, "Hey.” you looked at him pointedly, “Let me love you."

He went pink and buried his face in your shoulder.

The weight on you was warm, soft, and comforting. You would love to just spend the day here but you had plans.

"Come on, let's eat, then we can get going."

He looked at you in surprise, "Going?"

"Yeah." You smiled, "I _did_ promise you a romantic date."

He popped up almost instantly, his pajamas replaced with his robes, "Of course!"

_Adorable._

You got to your feet and joined him at the table. He looked…

What was-

"Are you crying?"

It wasn't the same as last night's tears. No, this was more his goofy melodramatic weeping from class.

"You made me _breakfast!_ "

You burst out laughing, "What? You do it for me all the time!"

"Yes but you-" he seemed at a loss for words for a moment then stilled, his hand crossing the table to clasp yours, "Reader… after last night…"

You got up and went around to him, leaning down and kissing him gently, "Last night was fine. I'm not hurt and I learned something about you. So relax," you nuzzled him, "I have a day planned for us."

His eyes went wide, "What?"

You grinned, "I may not move at Mach 20 but I can still plan things you know."

He looked down for a moment and when he looked up there were tears streaming down his face again. You laughed and held him close, "I told you, let me love you."

He was still crying.

"You're not going to do this over every romantic thing are you?"

"I make no guarantees!" He said, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe at his eyes.

Laughing, you shook your head, “Come on, let’s eat.”

After breakfast and shower, you collected up your bag, checking to make sure you had everything.

“Where are we heading?” he asked, grinning down at you.

“Wellll...” you pulled out your phone, pulling up a map, “Given you’re going to be the one taking us I guess I can’t keep it a secret.”

He was watching you attentively.

“Are you familiar with Enoshima?”

“Enoshima!” his voice was filled with delight, “A lovely little island in Fujisawa! Said to have been created by Benten, the goddess of fortune, wealth, music, and knowledge. And famously painted by Katsushika Hokusai in his series ‘Thirty-Six Views of Mount Fuji’!”

You nodded, “It’s also home to this...”

You passed him your phone and you saw him go pink.

“Reader...” his voice was filled with soft fondness, “You want to visit the Bell of Ryuren with me?”

“If you’d like to...”

You felt a blush rising in your cheeks. It was… well, it was a cheesy thing, touristy but…

It seemed like something he would enjoy.

And it was pretty sweet.

You go, ring the bell, lock a padlock to the railing with the names of you and your loved one on it and supposedly it would keep you together.

“I would love to!” he sounded ecstatic.

Of course, he was. Cheesy romance was just his sort of thing.

_Called it._

“I hear it’s lovely. The island has other attractions we can visit as well. Oh! And we could get a lock for the raili-” he faltered, going a deeper pink, “Th-That is, of course, if you want to. I know that it holds a special significance for many people…"

_There’s something worthwhile in symbols, Reader._

Of _course,_ he'd see it as a big deal.

It was touching.

He was flustered, "I wouldn’t want to overstep if that's too sudden, of course.”

"I'd kinda planned on that."

His eyes lit up.

"I think a love lock would be, you know… fitting… given our circumstances." you gave him a smile and found yourself gathered up in tentacles.

"Reader, you are _wonderful_."

You felt something wet touch your forehead.

"...are you crying again?"

"Maybe."

You laughed and looked up, kissing him, “You big baby. Come on. Let’s get moving.”

He nodded, hastily wiping his face.

You touched down in an out-of-the-way location, as per usual. His disguise was quickly in place and you made your way up to a wide thoroughfare with manicured gardens to either side. A pair of columns with dragons wrapped around them marked the way forward. A tiled bridge stretched ahead of you across the ocean leading to the island. Below, on the water to your right, people were kayaking and enjoying the summer sun. To your left was the sound of cars crossing the road bridge that ran parallel to this one. A soft sea breeze filled the air with the scent of ocean salt.

“I’m a bit surprised you suggest this, Reader.” he looked over at you, chuckling, “Isn’t two weeks a bit quick to want to share this kind of permanence?”

You paused and looked at him in surprise, “Has it seriously _only_ been two weeks?”

“Two weeks to the day.” he’d gone a bit pink, “Given everything that’s happened it does feel longer.”

Jesus, was he ever right.

You’d told him, then he had gone to Everest for a week, then Okinawa and the assassination attempt and the kids being in danger and…

God, it was so good to just… be together like this.

No danger, no trouble, no worry, just… this.

“I guess things will probably pick up again when the new semester hits...” you said softly.

You knew it was going to happen but well…

What you wouldn’t give for more moments like this...

He took your hand, “Then it’s best that we enjoy this peace while we have it.”

You nodded, “Yeah. I… uh...” _ha…_ well this was _embarrassing_ , “I’d like to spend as much time with you as I can… if that’s alright. I know we have school to prepare for and everything but-”

He chuckled, “Like I said,” he leaned down, kissing your cheek, his voice was gentle by your ear, “It’s best that we enjoy this peace while we have it.”

The way he said it, how close he was… 

You covered your mouth to hide your stupid grin and the blush rapidly coloring your cheeks.

“Nurufufufu~ I’m _sorry,_ Reader, was that too much? Perhaps instead I should tell you how _adorable_ you look when you’re sleeping. Or maybe how _charming_ your teasing is? Or-”

You laughed, putting a hand over his mouth, “Oh my god, you’re going to kill me.”

He chuckled and pulled your hand away, “I think we both know that’s about as likely as you killing me.”

You held one another’s gaze for a moment and then you gave him a quick kiss, “I’m still going to end up a wreck if you keep that up.”

“Oh, but it’s so _delightful_ when you get flustered.” 

“Yeah? Get your tentacles quivering?”

He gave a small shriek and you laughed. He was pouting, “Why do you _insist_ on bringing that up?”

“Because,” you smirked up at him, “How did you put it just now? _It’s so delightful when you get flustered._ ”

There was a rush of air and you jumped in surprise as he reappeared next to you. A rose was held in his outstretched hand, “But it’s true!”

You accepted the flower and tried to glare at him.

You failed.

_Miserably._

He chuckled, green stripes breaking through his disguise.

What a cocky son of a bitch.

“Come on, you.” you laughed, taking his hand and tugging him along.

He allowed you to drag him, chuckling, “What’s the rush?”

“No rush, just a lot to see.”

That and if you were going quickly he didn’t have a chance to make you have a meltdown.

…

You hoped.

When you reached the island you found yourself wandering amidst other tourists on the street. Market stalls were selling fresh seafood. Open-air restaurants were filled with people. Open-air markets sold snacks and summertime accessories. Bug nets, wide-brimmed hats, toys for kids, it was charming. A torii gate stood over the street and you passed below it, continuing along.

Now that you were in amongst other people, you slowed your pace, taking some time to browse a few of the storefronts. Spotting something, you ducked inside. He followed.

"One sec, I just want to check something…"

He nodded, browsing as you hurried to the back.

Padlocks.

_Perfect._

You selected one and, after a moment's consideration, picked up a second.

_There’s something worthwhile in symbols, Reader._

After making your purchase, you met back up with him. He eyed your bag, curious.

"Did you find something that suited your fancy?"

You produced the two locks you'd purchased.

He chuckled, green stripes decorating his face, "Love me that much?"

You nodded, "Yeah, but…", You pressed one of the locks into his hands, "This one's for you and Aguri." 

The green stripes vanished instantly. His face flickered between blue and pink for a moment, " _Reader…_ " he swallowed down a lump in his throat as tears came to his eyes. You found yourself pulled close.

You hugged him tightly, "She's important to you and she helped you. She deserves to be remembered."

He swept you up suddenly and kissed you, his face pressed to yours. You wrapped your arms around him.

"What on _Earth_ did I ever do to deserve both of you?"

Your heart stuttered at that.

You hoped that wherever she was, Aguri knew she was loved.

There were a few grumbles of discontent that broke up your embrace.

"I think we _might_ be in the way…" 

He immediately set you down, stepping aside and apologizing as others moved past you.

Ah, yes.

This man could _destroy_ the world.

He held _amazing_ power.

He was _unkillable_.

And he was currently bowing to a group of little old ladies with alarmed exclamations of, _"Sumimasen!"_

You loved this idiot.

When he’d calmed down and finished crying you continued meandering down the street. When the street opened up you had reached a staircase leading up to a red torii. You began climbing the steps. Ahead there was a larger white arching gate. As you emerged from it you found yourself on a landing. Directly ahead was a stone statue of a goddess surrounded by monks seated under a carved stone cave. A dragon was perched on the cave arch, looking towards her.

Pausing, you looked over at him, “You know the story of the island, yeah?”

He chuckled, “Of course. It was recorded in the Enoshima Engi by the monk Kokei in 1047. Long ago the village of Koshigoe was tormented by a five-headed dragon by the name of Gozuryu. He would eat the children of the town. One day storms and earthquakes wracked the area, heralding the arrival of the goddess Benzaiten. The dragon fell in love with her instantly and sought her hand in marriage. She denied him because of how his actions had harmed the villagers. He came to understand that his actions were wrong. He was ashamed and sought to change his ways. When he had proven himself, Benzaiten accepted his hand in marriage.“

You nodded and he smirked at you.

“A dragon and a goddess.” he chuckled, “I take it I’m the reformed dragon in this scenario...”

You laughed, “You could see it that way. The dragon changed his ways too.”

“And the dragon had to do so to be loved.” his voice softened, his eyes getting a slight faraway look to them.

You reached out, taking his hand, “I don’t think that’s true.”

He looked at you in surprise.

“She loved you before me. She loved you before you changed, during your change. You deserved to be loved far before that…” you quieted, “No one took care of you...”

Suddenly, things clicked into place for you.

No one _had_ taken care of him.

He’d always taken care of himself…

_People who others depend on tend to carry their own burdens alone._

He’d _always_ taken care of himself.

He was always trying to tend to things around him. You’d had to practically yell at him to make him stop cleaning. He wasn’t used to having anyone...

A flicker of blue crossed his features. You pulled him close, burying your face in his chest. He made a soft sound of surprise, “Reader… wh-”

You squeezed him tighter, “Iloveyou.”

A warm chuckle reverberated through him and a hand came to rest on your head, “Now what brought that on?”

You looked up at him, determination filling you, “I’m gonna take care of you. You got that?”

He laughed, “Reader, I...” he looked at your expression, his own softening into fondness, “I appreciate that you want to do so but-”

“I can.” you said firmly, “I can’t… stop things but I can take care of you while you’re here. And that’s what I’m going to do.”

He quieted, “So long as I can do the same for you...”

You nodded and buried your face back into his robes.

_Old books and summer rain…_

Okay, enough depressing talk. You pulled away holding his hand, “The shrine’s up ahead. Come on.”

He chuckled, following. You rounded up more steps. The sounds of cicadas and happy chatter of fellow visitors rang out around you. Ahead was the chozuya. An ornamental dragon head poured water into the pool below. You made your way to it and took up the ladle, going through the temizuya. He stepped up beside you.

Oh…

Water…

That’s right. How-

There was a flurry of movement that you could barely see and he set the ladle back in place.

As you walked away you glanced at him, “What was that?”

“Small amounts of water and quick contact is easily handled with mucus.”

“So doing it properly would have made you swell.”

He gave a nod, “Not as badly as the incident with the pool, of course, there were extenuating circumstances then but it would have been noticeable.”

“You could have skipped it. Plenty of people do.”

“But it’s part of the experience!”

You laughed, “Okay, okay, you’re right about that.”

As you ascended the next flight of stairs you found yourself facing the first shrine. Hetsuno-miya shrine. It was a bit simpler than the Takaosan Yakuoin Temple without the tengu themes. This one was just as beautiful though. Dark wood, ornate green roof, golden trim…

He took the lead suddenly, drawing you over to a large ring made of grass, big enough to step through.

“A Chinowa.” he said. 

You could _feel_ a history lesson coming on. 

“It’s made from cogon grass. To pass through it is to be purified of your misdeeds, impurities, and bad luck. There’s a ritual for it that’s performed twice a year. It originated from a legend about the god Susano’o no Mikoto, the god of sea and storms. He was wandering and given shelter by a man named Somin Shōrai. Somin was very poor and yet he sought to provide the god with the best amenities he could. Susano’o appreciated the man’s hospitality and, in return, gifted him with a woven ring of grass to wear. The ring protected Somin and his family from illness.” he stood, looking at the ring before him.

“You just walk through it?”

“Well, there’s a pattern to it.” he paused, looking over at you, “One must make a sort of figure eight. Through to the left, back through to the right, and through to the left once more before approaching the shrine.”

“Like this?” You felt a bit silly but you rounded through the circle of grass in the pattern he suggested.

He nodded, “Just so.”

“Are you coming?” you looked through it at him.

He hesitated for a moment before following through. You looked at him curiously but he simply smiled back in his usual fashion. From there, you made your way to the shrine.

You approached the offering box and paused. The box wasn’t a box at all. It was an ornately carved drawstring bag.

That was adorable.

Pulling out your wallet and tossed in the customary offering. You gave a bow. Then you brought your hands together in two claps, closing your eyes to pray.

The last time you’d come to a temple you’d prayed for your feelings to leave you.

Those same feelings spurred on your current prayer.

_Thank you for your protection._

_Please keep him safe._

Glancing over, you noticed that he was beside you, hands clasped before him.

You wondered what he prayed for.

With one additional bow, you stepped away.

“Oh! Reader, here.” you were drawn by the hand to a small pool guarded by a white dragon statue.

“What is this?”

He picked up a small wicker basket from the edge of the pool, “You wash your money in the basket. When washed in the spring it’s said that your money will double.”

You watched him carefully go about washing some coins and joined him, “Let me guess… teacher’s salary isn’t enough to support your lavish lifestyle?”

He laughed, “I wouldn’t call it lavish… but I suppose my spending habits are a bit...chaotic. But can you blame me?” he smirked at you, “I’m trying to get the most out of the time I have.”

“...That’s true.” you took your newly cleaned coins and stood.

There was something… reassuring with how he was talking about it. A gentle reminder that this wasn’t forever coupled with a joy for life left.

_It’s better to plan for what’s to come. Prepare. That is what will bring you peace._

_It’s best that we enjoy this peace while we have it._

You made your way down the path, pausing to bow at a smaller shrine guarded by two komainu statues. 

To your left was a tree that grew in two trunks. Around its base were fences covered in pink ema boards. Another place for seeking matches and wishing for love and fortune. Following the stairs downward, you passed below another torii. Flowers grew in garden plots to the left, shaded by trees. 

You were heading towards the steps when a hand stopped you, “Just a moment.” you turned to him and he gestured to a small wooden observation deck overlooking the port below, his phone in hand. 

You chuckled, “More photos?”

“Of course!” he pulled you close snapping a few selfies.

“You know, you’re only leaving more evidence for the kids to find…”

“I’m not the one leaving my devices unlocked around them,” he smirked, green stripes decorating his face.

“Woooow you’re going to blame me for that?” you laughed, “You’re the one that sent me… how many files was it? Definitely in the hundreds at least. And that was only for the first trip!”

“They’ve been nice to have, haven’t they?” he chuckled, “For those long nights when I’m not staying over?~” you felt a blush rise in your cheeks and his eyes widened, delight entering his voice, “See! You DO enjoy them!”

“Okay so I like looking at your stupid face, whatever.” you laughed, trying to cover your embarrassment.

He chuckled and his hand found yours, “Why do you think I take so many of you?”

You were going to DIE.

“Youcan’tjustsaythingslikethat!” you rubbed at your face with your free hand and suddenly he was leaning in close.

“Would you rather I lie?” his voice was soft, genuine, sweet.

It was killing you.

“You know I _love_ seeing you, Reader. After all, you’re one of the bright spots of my day.” he laughed as you pulled your hand away, burying your face in them.

“That’s not- What are you doing?”

He had pulled out a small noteboo-

“Why is my name on that?”

“I _did_ say I take notes.” he smirked, “Let’s see… weakness number thirty-nine: Compliments.”

“Oh my god? Wait, how the hell do you have thirty-nine now?! You had thirty-three before we left for Okinawa!”

“What can I say? I keep very thorough notes.” he grinned knowingly at you and you put your face in your hands.

The notebook was tucked away and he guided you up the stone steps to the next stop on your tour. You crested the stone steps to find another shrine. The Nakatsuno-miya shrine. This one a brilliant red with green roofing and ornate golden designs. A pair of red lanterns flanked the path and as you got closer you saw another pair of komainu guarding this shrine as well. You gave a bow and paused, looking at the dragon reliefs carved into the wood. On each corner were a pair of baku and komainu staring out from the columns.

You heard a shutter click and turned to see the octopus had his camera out again. You rolled your eyes with a chuckle and turned back to the shrine. He noticed where you were looking.

“Admiring the figureheads?”

You nodded, “They’re always so ornate.”

“Do you know why there are three shrines on this island?”

You shook your head, looking back at him.

“Each is dedicated to three sister goddesses. Tagitsuhime, Ichikishimahime and Tagirihime who were all created by the Shinto goddess Amaterasu. They are all linked to the ocean and have come to be associated with Benzaiten.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. And that is because of religious syncretism! The process by which multiple beliefs blend together to become a new belief. Benzaiten is a Buddhist goddess but she was _also_ brought into the culture. She originated in the Hindu religion as the goddess Saraswati. She is a goddess in Shinto as well and is considered to be one of the Seven Lucky Gods. A patron of the arts.” he came to stand beside you, looking up at the shrine, “It's _fascinating_. Shinto is the indigenous religion of Japan. Buddhism was imported. However, the two belief systems are quite compatible with one another and as a result, many people here believe in both. Shrines are Shinto. Temples are Buddhist.”

“You are a walking encyclopedia, I hope you know that.”

He chuckled, “We should always appreciate our opportunities to learn, Reader.”

You… did actually. Learning from him was interesting.

“Okay, so… why are there triforces everywhere?” you smirked at him. You’d noticed the symbol carved into so many things around the shrine and it had you curious.

He laughed, “The three triangle symbols?”

“Yeah, sorry, they’re called triforces in the Legend of Zelda games...”

He chuckled, “Well, their origin is much older than that. Those are the crest of the Hōjō clan. Hōjō Tokimasa, the head of the clan, is said to have visited Enoshima shrine to pray. While here, he was approached by a woman who left him with a prophecy and three dragon scales. Those scales went on to become the clan’s crest.”

“So the symbol originated here then.”

He nodded.

You continued on your way along a path past vending machines and a coffee shop, then up more flights of stone steps. Your hand found his again.

After yesterday it was like you couldn't resist it. You couldn't keep your hands off him.

Little touches, holding hands, bumping lightly against one another...

Reminders that he was here, he was with you.

And reminders to him that last night wasn’t anything to worry about.

You noticed that he seemed slightly flustered by the attention, even with all of your back and forth bantering. A blush had come into his cheeks and he looked down at you happily.

What you wouldn't give for a few more moments like this…

You came upon a wide thoroughfare with circular brick designs. Trees decorated the pathway at various intervals. You felt your hand tugged and found yourself lead to the left along a wooden path to another observation deck, this one looking out over the ocean. You laughed, “After Okinawa, aren’t you a little done with the ocean?”

“I’m on dry land.” he countered, “I can appreciate it from the land.”

He snapped more photos and you leaned against him for a moment. He made a small sound of surprise, looking down at you. You gestured for him to lean down and as he did, kissed his cheek.

He looked like he might combust.

You lead him back down the walkway and he suddenly halted. You looked back at him, “What is it?”

“Something we simply must try!” he chuckled, drawing you over to one of the food vendors.

“What is-”

And that’s when you saw the sign.

_Tako Senbei._

Octopus Cracker.

“If you tell the kids about this I swear-”

He laughed, ordering, “Of course not!”

You weren’t sure you believed him.

“So what… are these? Exactly?”

“Octopus Crackers.” he smirked, “Octopus is taken, dipped in flour, and then pressed and cooked into a thin sheet. See?”

He gestured and behind the counter, you watched as the cook there deftly flipped octopi into a vat of flour before arranging it on a large press. Several of the creatures went into one cracker. Once they were laid out to the chef’s satisfaction, they lowered the press and cranked it into place.

In a few moments, you were both handed thin paper wrappers containing flattened cooked octopus. The cracker was thin, wafer-like almost, and light filtered through it showcasing the swirling patterns of the octopi’s tentacles.

“Whoa...”

You heard a shutter snap and slowly looked over at him. He grinned from behind his camera, “What? You look positively charming when you see new things!”

You rolled your eyes and took a bite. It was crisp and light and tasted of lightly salted octopus. Due to its thinness, it practically melted in your mouth.

He chuckled at your expression, “I take it you like it.”

You gave a nod, taking another bite.

“Naturally. You have a taste for tentacles.” he took a bite of his own as you nearly choked.

When you glared at him all you got in return was his blank, white face.

You turned your attention back to your cracker.

When you’d finished your snack, you picked up some drinks from the nearby vending machines and made your way to your next stop.

A gray kiosk announcing itself as the “Enoshima Samuel Cocking Garden”. After purchasing tickets from the ticket machine, you headed inside.

You were greeted by a wide paved path with square garden plots throughout containing flowers in yellows, pinks, whites, and reds, each neatly labeled. You meandered towards a gazebo past a statue of peacocks.

“Let me guess…” you looked at him and he already had his camera out. You laughed and he pulled you over instantly.

You found yourself pressed against him, looking up into his face. He kissed you, snapping a photo. He nuzzled you gently.

“You definitely can’t let the kids see these,” you said softly, laughing a bit.

“I have no plans on that happening.” he pulled away albeit a bit reluctantly and you moved along a stone path among some trees and came out to another path lined with flowers.

“So, do you know any history about this place?”

He instantly lit up and you tried not to laugh at his excitement. It was adorable.

“Yes! This garden was created by Samuel Cocking, a British merchant, in 1880. He called it the Enoshima Botanical Garden and used it to showcase tropical plants. He was an interesting fellow. His company exported Japanese art, curios, antiques and imported things like chemicals and pharmaceuticals. He helped to establish the soap, peppermint oil, and the photographic industries here in Japan. He’s also credited with introducing bicycles and lightbulbs. He married a local, one Miyata Riki, and they adopted her niece when the girl became orphaned.”

“Sounds like he really loved the place… or at least appreciated it.”

You could relate.

“He did. He was so struck with the friendship and culture of the place that when his boss threatened to confiscate his ship so that he could no longer travel to visit, Cocking sold the ship and moved to the province of Nambu permanently. Apparently, it was something he never regretted.”

You laughed, “Seriously?”

He nodded, “There was, at one point, a cholera outbreak in the area. He distributed the medications he imported for free to help. He passed away in 1914 and when he died he was buried in the Miyata family plot. Rare for foreigners at the time.”

“That’s really sweet.” you paused, looking up at the observation tower ahead, “Cultural exchange is one of those things that’s just… really wholesome to me.”

He chuckled and leaned over to you, “Of course it is. You’re a pacifist. Seeing people from different backgrounds interacting in cooperative and peaceful ways supports your beliefs.”

“That’s true I guess.” you looked over at him, “But it’s also just… fascinating. We can share so much with one another. New technology, stories, religion, histories… we learn from one another and that’s-”

He had green stripes, “Why _Reader_ , is _that_ where your interest in me stems from? My teaching abilities?”

Goddammit.

“Maybe in part.” you admitted, “You make everything interesting and you’re passionate about it.”

He went a touch pink before reverting to yellow, “I appreciate the compliment.”

Reaching out, you took his hand, “She’d _definitely_ be proud of you.”

His face settled into an open fondness. You gave him a smile, “Come on, we still haven’t gotten to the bell yet!”

He chuckled and let you pull him along to the observation tower.

After giving your tickets and a short wait in line later you piled into a glass elevator.

_Great._

Well this didn’t make you nauseous at _all._

Flying with the octopus was one thing. Hell at this point that was about the only method of travel you found safe. You closed your eyes, keeping a tight hold on his hand. When it finally stopped you stepped out into a glass-walled observation deck. From here you could see the entire island, the ocean stretching in a vast expanse beyond it, fading to a pale blue misty horizon.

You felt him squeeze your hand and looked over at him.

“If you don’t feel up to the main observation deck we can-”

You shook your head, “We can do it. You’re going to want pictures.” you smirked at him, “Besides, this isn’t like going up in a glass-walled elevator. There’s railings and I’m not moving.”

He chuckled, “And yet you fly with me without issue.”

“Look that’s different.” you said as you made your way up a circular staircase to the open-air observation deck, “I know you can catch me. Also, you’re one to talk Mr. Motion Sick.”

He pouted, “I can’t help if I get motion sick!”

“HOW do you even get motion sick?”

“I don’t know for certain but I do have theories.”

You laughed and shook your head as you exited out onto the deck. The expanse of the island seemed so small from here. The mainland’s shoreline vanished into the distance, much like the ocean’s horizon. Here and there, on the water, were the white wakes of boats. His hand slipped from yours and you heard the tell-tale click of the camera.

“So… do they call it the Sea Candle because it’s a lighthouse?” you looked back at him. You kept a bit of distance from the railing. God knows you didn’t want more vertigo.

“Yes! It’s also known as the Shonan Observatory Lighthouse.”

“Well, the view is gorgeous.”

“It certainly is.”

When you looked back at him, he was pointedly looking at you.

You blushed and his grin sharpened.

Stupid cocky bastard.

After about a million more photos, he was finished and you made your way back down to the initial deck.

“There are stairs if you’d rather take those than the elevator.”

“Open-air stairs are way worse than a glass elevator.” you asserted, “And the elevator is faster.”

He chuckled and after one nerve-wracking trip back down you were on terra firma again. You let out a sigh of relief as you made your way along the winding paths amidst the greenery.

The gardens were lovely but lacked a certain charm Tomita Farm had had…

But given how your visits there had been there was a good chance you were biased.

As you passed under a shaded walkway you found yourself pulled aside. You were held close and he was kissing you again. You laughed into the kiss, surprised. Something had gotten into him today and you loved it. He pressed his forehead to yours for a moment before kissing you again, almost insistently. Damn you were glad you'd jumped him with a make-out session the other night. It definitely seemed to have made him more comfortable.

Gently, you took his hand, giving it a squeeze and made your way back to the open pathway.

Not long after, you found yourself at a small open building labeled the Lon Cafe. The second you read the sign, you knew where you were stopping for lunch. You gestured, “Lunch?”

His eyes lit up and you laughed.

Of course, a cafe that literally only served french toast was _right_ up his alley.

You took numbers and placed your order, waiting outside at the shaded tables.

Shortly, your meals arrived. Iced coffee and creme brulee french toast for you and jasmine tea and caramel cinnamon french toast for him. They came served with a couple of small scoops of ice cream which was just perfection in this heat. 

“So...” he was pointedly paying attention to his food, you noticed, “The other night…”

You looked at him, “Other night?”

There’d been a few notable nights lately, which one did he-

“You wanted me to do that sooner?” he looked at you, green stripes fading into view.

FUCK.

Ice cream wasn’t going to kill the heat in your face now.

“Yeahmaybe.” you stuffed a forkful of french toast in your mouth.

He propped his head up on one hand, eyes narrowing a bit.

Okay, there was no way you could let him just-

Wait.

You recalled a conversation on the ferry and smirked at him.

“Who did you kiss without them knowing about it anyway?~”

The stripes instantly vanished.

He went bright pink.

“It was me wasn’t it?”

He went even darker pink.

You laughed, “WHEN?”

His voice was soft, almost anxious, “The night of the nomikai when you fell asleep. It wasnothinguntowardIswearI-”

You laughed harder shaking your head, “Seriously?”

He was _fretting_. Oh my god.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you gave him a reassuring smile, “Look, a kiss is literally the LAST thing I would worry about in that situation and I trust you.”

He was still bright pink.

“I just wish I’d been awake for it.” you teased.

You tried not to laugh too hard but he looked like he might combust.

He turned his attention to his food, clearly trying to recover.

God, it was so much fun to tease him.

After lunch you walked through a series of old brick plots, the remnants, he informed you, of Samuel Cocking’s original greenhouse. And then you found yourself at the entrance again with it’s boxed plots of flowers. You paused when you exited to the walkway of circular bricks, a bit turned around.

“This way.” he gestured and you realized he’d, at some point, procured a map.

He lead you down a side street, past a few more open-air shops and restaurants. You paused for a moment at a pair of gates to your left, something bright catching your eye.

He paused, following your gaze, “Ah! This is the Enoshima Daishi Temple. The only Buddhist Temple on the island.”

You stepped into the small courtyard. What had caught your eye were two bright red figures standing menacingly by the entrance.

You looked over to him, “Are they meant to be oni?”

He shook his head, “I suppose there is a bit of resemblance, but no. These are Niō, guardians of the Buddha. The fellow there with the sword to the left is called Naraen Kongō and his partner, on the right, is Misshaku Kongō. They are also called Ungyō and Agyō respectively. Now, do you notice something they have in common with the komainu statues here?”

You faltered, you hadn’t exactly expected a pop quiz on a date but you looked over the pair. Compared to the stone komainu these guys were a lot more extravagant.

“No?”

“Ungyō has his mouth shut and Agyō has his mouth open. You see this in komainu as well. For the komainu the mouth being shut indicates keeping in good spirits and the other’s mouth being open is to frighten away bad spirits. For these two it’s a bit more involved. Their mouths are making the shapes of the sounds “a” and “un”. Ah is meant to be the sound of birth and un the sound of death. Together they represent this cycle and are a symbol of everything.”

“Like Alpha and Omega?”

He nodded, “Correct.”

You were learning more about local religion from an octopus than you had by living here for years.

After a few photos, of course, you made your way past more shops with touristy items, shells and dried starfish, photos, and… crocs for some reason. Many of the advertisements bleached pale blue-white by exposure to the sun.

He paused by another observation deck. This one with stone railings and a breathtaking view of the greenery covered cliffs and beach. You were pulled in for more selfies, laughing, and then down more steps to another path of shops. 

“How about some ice cream?” he gestured to a small shop.

It was hot, the french toast had been delicious but also small, and ice cream honestly sounded _fantastic_ right now. You nodded but as you perused the display out front, you paused, “I’m sorry, does that say _jellyfish_ flavor?”

“Interesting right?”

You looked through some of the offerings. Jellyfish, whitebait, mozuku seaweed, salt milk, sake, black soybean, cheese biscuit, tomato…

Definitely not your usual line up. Though there were more common flavors.

Vanilla, sakura, matcha, milk strawberry...

Alongside variations that only gave you more questions.

Black vanilla, coffee milk, banana chocolate milk, raw chocolate…

What made it raw you had no idea.

The list was HUGE and it took you some time to make a selection. In the end, you opted for a flavor you considered normal-adjacent: white peach. The octopus, meanwhile, had gotten shirasu.

“Shirasu?” you looked at the deceptively innocent white swirl skeptically.

His grin quirked up, “Of course! Enoshima is known for their whitebait how could I not try it?”

“What… is it? It’s fish but like...” you took a lick of your own cone and were hit with concentrated peach.

“The fry of katakuchi-iwashi!”

“Wait...”

“Baby Japanese anchovies!” he grinned at you, taking a bite, “Sweet and savory.”

“...That...” you shook your head, “You have fun with that.”

“Don’t you want to give it a try?” he chuckled, offering it to you.

You laughed, “It’s fish ice cream!”

“And you might have one year left to live the same as me so why not try new experiences?” he smirked.

Goddammit…

At least you had your cone in case it was awful.

You took a small bite and paused, trying to sort out the flavor you were getting from it. Definitely fish. Sweet, salty, maybe soy sauce?

You swallowed quickly and he laughed, “I take it you’re not a fan.”

You shook your head and quickly took another bite of your own to get the taste out of your mouth.

When you had finished your cones more stairs greeted you. This island was 90% stairs it seemed but after climbing the mountain every day it wasn’t as terrible as you’d thought it might be.

Ahead was another walkway shaded with trees and decorated with Hydrangeas ending in an old stone torii. The last shrine, Okutsuno-miya, greeted you. Old, wooden, flanked by two red lanterns and two komainu. You approached and made your offering. As you turned to leave you looked up to see…

“Is that a turtle?”

On the ceiling was a yellow plaque with a painting of a turtle that seemed to be looking at you.

“Yes! It’s said that it looks at you no matter where you stand.”

You moved a bit to the side and it did seem as though it were staring at you still, “That is unnerving.”

He chuckled, “It reminds me a bit of Karasuma.”

You tried not to laugh, failed miserably, and turned, heading back to the path.

Just past this shrine was another torii gate. Komainu statues flanked this entrance too but the shrine itself was rather unconventional. You were looking at a moss and rock covered hill with a stone doorway set into it. Sitting above, green with patina, was a statue of a dragon.

“The dragon has a shrine here too,” you smirked over at him.

“Naturally, he’s a central figure in the myth!”

You entered the small stone room and made your offering before the golden trimmed shrine.

Your prayer was simple, the same as it had been.

_Protect him._

“Oh! Reader, this way!” he looked excited, “We’re nearly there!”

Across from the shrine was a gentle stepped path through the foliage. As you went along the path turned into a flattened dirt path and split. By the right, downward sloping, line was a simple sign that read 龍恋の鐘.

Ryuren Bell of Love.

The path was arched over with trees, shaded, and filled with cicada calls. As you rounded the bend, to your left, was your destination. A raised platform was surrounded by fences that were covered in locks and ema boards. It was a fence of pinks and reds. You followed him up the steps. A small green wooden stand with paneled sides housed the bell. Below was a plaque, telling the story of the island.

He looked positively ecstatic as you joined him.

You both took the rope in hand and rang the bell, it's chime echoing across the water. It was far louder than you had expected and the sound resonated in your bones, your chest, your heart…

A tentacle tugged you over and he nuzzled you, "Thank you, Reader…"

You laughed a bit, "For what?"

"For this." he gestured around, "I think you were right. I needed this…"

You kissed his cheek, "After Okinawa, I think we both did."

Suddenly you were pulled close and you heard the familiar click of a shutter as he snapped some selfies. You laughed, kissing his cheek again.

Satisfied that the moment was memorialized, he drew you to the railing. Carefully, he took out both locks and in a flash, names were engraved on them. You knew he did these things at high speed but it always seemed like magic.

Finding a suitable spot he took your hand and, together, you closed the lock around the wire of the fence. Afterward, he took the second lock you had given him and locked it beside yours. His hand lingered on the metal as if pulling away would make her disappear.

You leaned against him, "We both owe her a lot."

He looked to you in surprise.

"She helped you grow and change. And… if what happened hadn't happened we might have never met." Your voice softened, "I wish I could have known her the way you did. But, the least I can do-besides loving you- is I can take care of you… I think she would have wanted that."

He kissed you gently, his voice dropping, "And I'll protect you."

Given their story, you understood why he would make that promise.

Cupping his face, you kissed him again. You stood there, foreheads touching in the early evening sun for a long moment before he straightened.

“Now, about these.” he held up the keys to the locks, considering them.

“A lot of people throw them into the sea.”

“Well that won’t do.” he tossed them in his mouth, speaking around the grinding of the metal, “There’s no need to damage the environment after all.”

You laughed, shaking your head and noticed another couple staring in confused alarm at him. It only made you laugh harder. 

You decided to round out your trip with a visit to the island’s caves. Several flights of stairs down the island later you emerged onto a rocky hillside facing the ocean. A bridge rounded this side of the island. A set of stairs went right down to the beach and below you could see children poking about in tidepools. The bridge curved around, leading directly into the cliff where the caverns were located.

A sign proudly indicated that it was Enoshima’s No. 1 Power Spot. After getting tickets you made your way inside.

Unlike Okinawa, this cave had been modernized with tourists in mind. Stone steps had been installed and handrails. Lanterns with the Hōjō clan crest made dim triangles of light that marked your descent. As you rounded the bend you found yourself in a hall of placards, each showcasing history and information about the caverns. It looked more like a museum than a cave. At the end of the hall was a wooden deck of sorts that overlooked small pools of water and the rough stone walls of the cavern. 

To your left, the cavern grew darker and a small kiosk marked the entrance. An attendant gave you each a small candle to light your way.

Not that it was needed, there were strips of light marking the railed path ahead and there was dim overhead lighting. But it certainly was darker than the area you’d passed through. Chillier too. A welcome respite from the summer heat. The pathway split into two, a statue marking the fork. You made your way down the left path where more statues lined the dim corridor behind clear glass fencing. It stopped looking out at a gate and further cavern that was inaccessible.

“They say this cavern connects to Mount Fuji.” Korosensei looked over at you, “But no one knows for certain.”

“Isn’t that pretty far?”

He gave a nod, “Around 62 km.”

The crowds were remarkably sparse, thankfully, and it made the whole place a bit less claustrophobic. You made your way back and took the other path. This one was also lined with statues and the path seemed to get narrower and narrower, the roof was also lower and you both had to stoop to make your way along.

“Buddhist monks practiced in this cave.” he explained as you moved through the tunnel, “Most of these statues were made by them.”

At the back of the cavern was a gate marking off a small, stone shrine guarded by two komainu. A plaque identified it as “The Birthplace of Enoshima Shrine”.

“Benzaiten appeared here to the Buddhist monk Kobo Daishi. One of many reasons these caves hold such religious significance.” 

You made your way back through the tunnels and stopped by the kiosk to return your candles. Back along the wooden deck, you found stairs that lead to what was most likely the natural cave opening. Railings allowed you to look out from between the rock walls at the waves and beach below. You made your way down the corridor which lead to a bright arch of light, another exit to the caves. Outside the sea breeze kept things cool under the arches protecting the exit from the sun. As you walked along the bridge you saw that ahead there was another archway leading to the second cave. The echo of drumbeats resounded from its mouth.

A small set of stairs deposited you in the caverns corridor. There were dim lights here as well. 

You felt a tug and found yourself in an alcove off to one side, lips on yours. You stifled a laugh. It reminded you of Okinawa. The scent of damp stone, sea salt, and cool earth mingled with old books and summer rain.

As he pulled away you smirked at him, "What? Wanted a little more excitement?~"

He blushed brightly but didn't deny it, "I admit it is rather fun..."

_Cute._

You tugged him back down and kissed him for a touch longer, "Exciting enough for you?"

He went a deeper pink and his voice dipped slightly when he replied, "What if I said no?"

You stared at him. Was this just flirting or...?

"Well, then I'd be curious to know what you'd find more exciting."

"I can think of a few things~"

_OH._

"Yeah? Like?" You leaned in, calling his bluff.

The tension was broken as he looked away, bright pink and flustered. You hoped that wasn't too far but his reaction sure was cute.

And so deeper into the caverns you went.

“This cave,” his voice had gone back to its educational tone, he seemed relieved to have something to focus on, “is dedicated to the dragon god’s story.”

A placard told the story of the dragon and the goddess and below was a painting of the pair. Benzaiten sat on the dragon’s coils, playing a biwa, clad in pink robes. The five snarling heads of the dragon looked on from the right.

The sound of drum beats came from deeper in. You followed the corridor to arrive at an alcove just as a pair of people were leaving. Crouched in the alcove was another dragon statue. Before it sat a drum. Another plaque stated that if you hit the drum and the dragon flashed twice whatever wish you had would come true. 

Ohhh…

_That’s_ what you’d been hearing.

He grinned at you and immediately took up the stick, hitting the drum. With each strike, a light behind the dragon flashed brightly.

He offered you the stick.

Touristy.

Silly.

But…

_Please…_

_Let him make it out of this alive._

You struck the drum twice.

The light flashed once.

When you exited the cave the light was nearly blinding. Together you made your way back up to the main portion of the island. The sun was beginning to set. The sky filled with pinks and golds.

“I suppose we should be getting back...” he said softly, looking out from one of the observation decks.

“Yeah...” you leaned against him, “Have fun?”

He went pink, “It was wonderful.”

His arm looped around you and you closed your eyes for a moment, just enjoying his presence.

He was still here.

You noticed that he took a little longer than usual on the flight back home. The pair of you watching the sun dip below the horizon as you flew along. It was quiet but you felt a tendril wrap around your wrist, settling against your hand under his robes.

You gave it a squeeze.

What a day…

When he dropped you off at your balcony he seemed to be fretting, “I would stay but well, tomorrow will be my first day back with the students during drills.” he said softly, "I still have preparations to make..."

“It’s okay.” you squeezed his hands, “It's not like we don’t have time before next semester.”

He chuckled, “So… perhaps…”

“Let me guess, you want to come over again tomorrow?” you smirked.

He went pink, “Ah, well, I was going to ask about the day after...if I could.”

_Called it._

You laughed, “Yes. Tomorrow too if you want. You’re always welcome here. I mean, I did say I wanted to spend time with you...”

He swept you up and you found yourself being kissed much more passionately than usual. A little shiver went through you and you laughed softly, "Trying to make sure it tides you over?~"

The pink deepened, "Perhaps?"

"In that case…" you cupped his face in your hands and drew it forward, kissing him deeply.

There was an intake of breath from him and a shudder. Tentacles tightened around you.

Oh, you liked _that_ response.

When you parted he was still bright pink, a little breathless, his eyes wide.

You smiled at him softly and made a yelp of surprise as he pulled you back in close, kissing you again. 

_Hell yes._

You grabbed his shirt collar and he made a soft sound against your lips. 

Oh, you could _really_ get used to this…

When you parted you were laughing just a bit, filled with happy, nervous energy. He placed a gentler kiss on your lips, "Tomorrow then?"

You grinned, "Hooked on me huh?"

"You have no idea…"

You were going to _scream_.

"Well, think you can hold out till tomorrow?" You chuckled.

"I'll certainly try." 

You kissed him once more and he disappeared into the night. 

You promptly grabbed a pillow from the couch and screamed into it.

This octopus was going to be the death of you.


	83. Hands On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

You woke up the next morning to a text from Karasuma reminding you that drills were scheduled today. With a sigh, you lay your phone on your chest and stared at the ceiling for a moment.

Yesterday had been fucking great.

You covered your face with your hands, covering the stupid grin that it brought to your face.

God, that meant he was going to BE at the school.

How the fuck were you going to survive?

Ohhhh boy… yesterday he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off you. How was…

Your phone buzzed and you picked it up in surprise.

One new message.

From 🐙🎓

[Good morning~ ٩(♡ε♡ )۶]

You laughed.

[Good morning, Cuddle Fish. <3]

[I take it I’ll be seeing you at drills today?]

[Mmhmm… you going to be able to keep your tentacles to yourself?]

[Why, Reader! I’ll have you know I’m a consummate professional!]

[Sure Irina would agree with you?]

[She’s entitled to her wrong opinion.]

[And I’m sure that those girls you send letters to would consider you to be the very picture of a perfect teacher.]

[ (((( ;°Д°)))) ]

You laughed, shaking your head.

_ This _ was where you had laid your affections.

And you couldn’t say you regretted it in the slightest.

[Well, as much as I would love for you not to please try to control yourself.]

After a moment you got several messages in rapid succession.

[Always-]

[Wait. I’m sorry, Reader?]

[Are you implying you’d -enjoy- sneaking around the school?]

You snorted.

[I mean it’d be fun but god knows we don’t want the kids or Karasuma figuring shit out.]

[ (´๑•_•๑) ]

[What? You gonna tell me you never thought about it?]

[I didn’t say that… I’m just surprised that you have.]

You sat up, looking at the message for a long moment.

[Why?]

There was a long pause.

[I suppose because I'm still learning about you. I had assumed you would consider that taboo.]

[I mean I'd probably never do it unless we had the place to ourselves but it's still fun to think about.]

[Is that so?~ What other fun things do you think about?]

Fuck.

You felt your face heat up.

[That's classified.]

[But Reader! I thought you -trusted- me!]

[It's for your own protection. If I told you it might kill you.]

[Perhaps you should share with the students then. After all isn't your job to give them intel about me that might help with the assassination?]

[I'm not telling the kids about my fantasies about you.]

[So you -do- have fantasies about me then!]

[Like you don't have a few?]

[Fantasies about myself? I'm not quite -that- narcissistic.]

[Omfg you know what I meant.]

[I'm afraid I don't. ( •-•) ]

You rolled your eyes.

[So you're saying you -don't- think about me?]

[Of course I do!]

[ (•̀⌄•́) So you -do- fantasize about -me-.~]

[ ( ;•-•) ]

[ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ See you at drills!]

Octopus sufficiently tortured, you got up to get ready.

Once on the train, you opened the 3-E chat. You hadn't checked it in a bit and were curious about what they'd been up to-

Oh what  _ fresh hell _ was this?

**TheDevilYouKnow:** Eyyy look, Doc finally found the chat again!

**BlondeBabe:** Welcome back Mx. Reader!

**RobotOverlord:** Welcome back Mx. Reader!

**CephalopodOrbs:** What the hell is going on?? (•ิ_•ิ)?

**Mememura:** We were talking about codenames after the Gastro fight and had some fun.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Okay... well, everyone ready for drills today?

**540TornadoKick:** Yep. What about you? 

**thisisstupid:** Hope you're ready for an ass kickin'.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Well, that's Okano and Terasaka, okay. And yeah, I'm ready as I'm gonna be.

**WeAreAssassins:** Hey Mx. Reader.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Heeeeeey...

**WeAreAssassins:** You have no idea who I am do you?

**CephalopodOrbs:** Sorry ┐('～`;)┌

**HomeRunner:** Oh this is fun.

**CephalopodOrbs:** That is Sugino. Calling it.

**WeAreAssassins:** (-_-;)・・・

**HomeRunner:** Dammit.

**DetectiveYako:** Yours is a little too obvious Sugino.

**CephalopodOrbs:** ...Fuwa?

**DetectiveYako:** Yeah, it's me.

**Lesbean:** Hey Mx. Reader!

**BeeRights:** Oh yeah! There's some news!

**BlondeBabe:** Yeah, someone in class came out.~

Oh my god?

**CephalopodOrbs:** Yeah?

**Lesbean:** It's me, Yada.  ♡  (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)  ♡

**CephalopodOrbs:** Congratulations!

OH MY GOD! You grinned to yourself like an idiot. 

Seemed like people had taken it well.

**ItsCalledHentaiAndItsArt:** Yeah... that beautiful rack is apparently Girls Only. oTL

**FishFish:** Okajima I will kick your teeth in.

**ItsCalledHentaiAndItsArt:** What?! It's TRUE!

**LoverBoy:** Hey Lesbean could you be my wingman?

**Lesbean:** I don't think you could keep up with me.

**RamenGod:** OOOOOOOOOH

**BlondeBabe:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA

**540TornadoKick:** Wouldn't need a wingman if you'd settle down.

**LoverBoy:** Who settles down at 15?!

You stifled your laugh, trying not to disturb anyone else in the car. Seemed Yada had gotten a bit of a confidence boost from her reveal.

You were glad. She seemed like she’d needed it.

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** Not you apparently.

**CephalopodOrbs:** THAT is Sugaya. RamenGod is... Muramatsu?

**RamenGod:** Guilty.

**SpeedRacer:** Even though his ramen sucks.

**thisisstupid:** his ramen sucks don't listen to him

**RamenGod:** That's only cause it's my dad's recipe!

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** Okay but bonus points if you get the reference, Mx. Reader.

**CephalopodOrbs:** It's that one painting of a pipe that says This is Not a Pipe.

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** It's called The Treachery of Images.

**HomeRunner:** He spent like an hour explaining this earlier.

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** It was painted by René Magritte. It's commentary on art because it's not a pipe. It's a painting of a pipe.

**thisisstupid:** But it's a pipe.

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** Oh my god. It's NOT a pipe. That's the point!

**thisisstupid:** it's a painting of a pipe dude

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** EXACTLY!

**thisisstupid:** So it's a pipe.

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** NO!

**RobotOverlord:** When asked about it, Magritte said: _ "The famous pipe. How people reproached me for it! And yet, could you stuff my pipe? No, it's just a representation, is it not? So if I had written on my picture "This is a pipe", I'd have been lying!" _

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** SEE? Ritsu gets it.

**RobotOverlord:** I'm not sure I understand.

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** oTL

**WeAreAssassins:** Sugaya just said it. It's a painting of a pipe. Not an actual pipe. It's a visual representation of one. Kind of like in assassination. You might visually represent yourself as a doctor or musician but in reality you're an assassin. You're a painting of a pipe, not a pipe.

**RobotOverlord:** OHHHH I understand!

**ThisIsNotAPipe:** That is the most convoluted way to explain that.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Okay so THAT is Nagisa.

**WeAreAssassins:** Yeah...?

**TeamMom:** You sound more like Korosensei every day with the assassin talk.

**thisisstupid:** yeah. you really gotta remind us all the time? we know. we're assassins.

**WeAreAssassins:** We already talked about this ;>_>

**4444:** Apparently not enough.

**4444:** Also hey Doc.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Hey Hazama.

**4444:** Well geeee what gave it away.~

You laughed. God these kids were going to be the death of you.

**C20H34O6:** I think it's good Nagisa reminds us!

**♥P♥U♥D♥D♥I♥N♥G♥:** Yeah, don't want to get too comfortable.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Okay... Okuda. Kayano. But Okuda what is the formula for?

**C20H34O6:** The formula for grayanotoxin.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Grayanotoxin??

**C20H34O6:** Oh! It's an assassination idea I had. I don't know if it will work though. I thought of it while eating karumeyaki. Professor Bitch said it's called honeycomb toffee in English and I started thinking about sweets. And as it turns out there's a poisonous honey called Mad Honey which has grayanotoxin in it from Rhododendrons. I don't know if it would work on Korosensei but it seemed like something interesting to try. I'm just not sure how to get my hands on some. I might ask Mister Karasuma.

Well... that was certainly  _ horrifying _ .

**BulletHellBoss:** Hi Mx. Reader!

**SharpShooter:** Oh they found the chat again?

**CephalopodOrbs:** oTL Guys I swear I have it on my phone I just forget to check it.

**CrackShot:** No worries. I forget it exists too.

**♥P♥U♥D♥D♥I♥N♥G♥:** That's only because you and Chiba are too busy doing target practice.

**ItsCalledHentaiAndItsArt:** I bet that's not the only thing they're practicing.~

**TeamMom:** Okajima just because you want to all the time doesn't mean everyone else does.

**BulletHellBoss:** Yeah, knock it off!

**2D >3D:** You should be a little more tactful.

**thisisstupid:** you go to maid cafes.

**SpeedRacer:** Apparently you do too.

**thisisstupid:** IT WAS ONE TIME!

**G2GFast:** That punch card you dropped in class says otherwise.

**Mememura:** PFFFFFT

**BlondeBabe:** OKAY BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS HOW MANY TIMES WAS IT PUNCHED KIMURA?

**G2GFast:** Like, six times.

**thisisstupid:** i am going to kill every single one of you.

**SharpShooter:** I mean, that's a quick way to narrow down who gets the money.

**BeeRights:** But then you're kinda... on your own.

**TheDevilYouKnow:** Not to mention you need a guiding hand, as we've established.

**thisisstupid:** KARMA SHUT THE HELL UP

**CephalopodOrbs:** I'm gonna lose it in this train car. This is why I don't check the chat, you guys kill me.

**ThriftShop:** No we don't. That's only Terasaka and Okano's jobs.

**ThriftShop:** Also, guys, Mr. Karasuma wanted me to remind everyone that we're going to be paired off today. He's still not 100%.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Shit, seriously?

**ThriftShop:** Yeah. That stuff really kicked his ass. Okuda is trying to reverse engineer it and see if there's any long term effects.

**CephalopodOrbs:** That would be a good idea... um... 

**ThriftShop:** It's Isogai.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Oh.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Well, yeah that would be a good idea. Long term effects are top concern given his job.

**C20H34O6:** That's what I was thinking.

**CephalopodOrbs:** Okay guys, at my stop. See you on the mountain.

**BeeRights:** Sure thing! Don't be a stranger!

**BlondeBabe:** Yeah we didn't even get a chance to tease you this time! :<

**TeamMom:** For real though. Stop in more often. That way you can keep up to date.

**RobotOverlord:** Bye, Mx. Reader! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

When you reached the schoolhouse a few kids were already milling about in their gym wear. You went to the faculty lounge and saw the octopus already behind his desk, sorting some paperwork.

"Hey."

He looked up, a tinge of pink appearing immediately, "Reader! How lovely to see you.~"

"Irina and Karasuma here yet?"

"Mr. Karasuma is currently outside. Miss Irina has yet to arrive."

It was so weird being here like this. So much had happened and now here you both were in this normal office chatting about work like nothing had changed.

It didn't feel bad. In fact, it made you kinda giddy.

You had the  _ best _ secret in the world right now.

"Well, something's certainly got you excited." Green stripes crossed his face, "I  _ wonder _ what it could be…"

You laughed and rolled your eyes, heading into the nurse's office. 

A flash of color caught your eye.

More cranes stuffed haphazardly in the box.

You guessed they had been dropping them off during drills…

Carefully you started removing them and laying them out. 

Rainbow stripes, some patterned with the Great Wave of Kanagawa, koi fish, flowers, geometric shapes, dragonflies, ladybugs, marbled swirls of blue and green, patchy orange and magenta watercolor, cherry blossoms, mushrooms…

All told?

Thirty-five new birds had joined the flock.

You pulled out a fresh post-it note.

_ Total: 177 _

_ Left: 823 _

Well, shit.

That was another strand.

Four down. Twenty one to go.

You’d have to string them up later.

Smiling to yourself you arranged them on the table carefully, leaving the box open for more donations.

“I see there are more additions.”

You looked up to see him standing in the doorway.

“Yeah. Four strands so far.”

“Their initiative is inspiring!” he chuckled, looking over the collection. 

"Definitely. So, ready for drills?"

He chuckled, "I'm  _ quite _ looking forward to it. I can't wait to see how you handle Okano and Terasaka!"

"Badly, that's how." You sighed, "it's hard for me to hit these kids…"

He leveled his gaze at you, "It's understandable, but consider this: If someone has to fight them wouldn't you  _ rather _ it be you?"

"Huh?"

"You know what strikes will hurt most or cause damage which means you can avoid causing severe injury. If, god forbid, one of them does get hurt then you have the training to cover it."

He had a point… but damn it was still hard.

He must have noticed your expression because he chuckled, "You'll get there. I have complete confidence in you."

"Thanks." You tried to wipe the stupid grin off your face.

"Oh, by the way, I’ll be tutoring a few of the children tomorrow.”

“Yeah? They’re really trying to pack as much in before summer is over huh?”

“Of course! They are  _ our _ students, after all. I have tutoring for Muramatsu and Yoshida on math. And later Karma, Kayano, Nagisa, and Nakamura have asked for a session on first aid. I told them that was your subject but they seemed insistent-”

You raised an eyebrow, “Uh  _ huh… _ so you’re going to help them with that test challenge I gave them.”

“What?” his green stripes gave him away, “Of  _ course _ not! I’m their  _ teacher _ , and teachers should  _ always _ indulge an enterprising student’s thirst for knowledge!”

You smirked waving him off, “Sure, sure. Hey, if they’re learning I don’t mind.”

You were just going to have to prepare yourself to tell that story.

A curious look crossed his face and you had a feeling he wanted to ask but thought better of it.

There was a whistle from outside.

"And that would be Mr. Karasuma. Duty calls!" He vanished in a rush of wind and, almost simultaneously, your phone chimed. Pulling it out you saw a new text from him:

[Perhaps when the tutoring session is over we could go out for dinner?]

[Sounds good. Any idea where?]

[I have a few ideas in mind. Leave it to me, you planned the last outing.]

You couldn’t help but grin.

[Deal.  ❤️ ]

You tucked your phone in your pocket and headed out the doo-

Arms grabbed you roughly and you panicked, throwing your head back. It connected solidly with something and you heard a yell. You were dropped instantly and when you turned, Terasaka had a hand to his forehead and was grinning, “Alright! That’s more like it!”

He started to run at you and you bolted to the door just in time to notice Okano. You ducked under the kick and nearly faceplanted into the dirt, saving yourself at the last minute.

You heard Terasaka shout something to Okano but you were already darting across the field. That wasn’t going to cut it. You were going to have to fight but you needed to get your shit together first. Spinning around you skidded to a halt. Thankfully neither of them were Kimura fast or this would be more of an issue. Terasaka was, as usual, barrelling at you. You were starting to notice a pattern here. He ran in like a bull and Okano came at you to follow up while you were out of sorts.

You ducked to the side getting barely cuffed by his arm as he tried to clothesline you. You scrambled in a bit of panic and jumped back from Okano’s flailing legs.

Between his close quarters heavyweight nonsense and her range you could see why Karasuma threw them at you.

You were at least avoiding hits more today but you weren't doing better in the landing hits department. God, you were never going to get this down were you?

You heard a familiar chuckle from across the field and glanced aside to see the octopus with his tell-tale green stripes decorating his face.

What a motherfuc-

You saw stars as a fist collided with your chin. Without thinking you threw a punch in response which connected with nothing but air. Your arm was grabbed and you were pulled forward, landing face first in the dirt.

You saw Okano’s foot coming down just in time and rolled out of the way, scrabbling to your feet again.

Fucking  _ christ. _

They knew they didn’t actually have to KILL you right?

Terasaka charged at you again and you side stepped, grabbing his arm.

Using his own weight and momentum you threw him forward into the grass and turned to block Okano-

On the wrong side. A leg connected solidly with your back and you tumbled, landing with the wind knocked out of you.

Things seemed fine…

Until you tried to get up.

Your back seized and you cried out.

“Hold on!” Karasuma called over. 

You saw Okano and Terasaka pause for half a second before Okano knelt next to you, “Mx. Reader?!”

“Hang on, just...” you tried to get up again and winced.

Fuck.

And just like that you were surrounded. Nagisa, Nakamura, Takebayashi, Okano, Karasuma, and the octopus.

Great.

The kids seemed to be taking this as an opportunity to try out their skills.

“Can you move your fingers and toes?” Nakamura asked, looking you over.

“Yeah. I think I just-”

“Nothing feels broken.” Takebayashi said. You felt his hands prodding gently at your back.

“Okay can you tell me-”

“Guys.” You managed to roll onto your back with a wince and looked up at them, “I’m 90% sure it’s a pulled muscle.”

“Then we should get you inside.” Korosensei said.

“Can we use a stretcher?!” Nakamura grinned.

Korosensei looked at you for a moment and you sighed.

“Sure. They need practice anyway.”

And that’s how you ended up hauled into your own office by teenagers.

Once there, you were quickly dosed with anti-inflammatories, given an ice pack, and laid back on the cot.

This was overkill but you’d deal for now.

“Give me like, twenty minutes for this stuff to kick in and we can try again.”

Karasuma looked at you skeptically. You noticed that he looked fine most of the time but occasionally his muscles would tense and stutter.

You hoped the dude didn’t end up with any serious issues from that…

“Alright. But if I say you sit it out-”

You waved a hand, “I’ll sit it out if it’s too bad. I know, I know.”

Satisfied, he turned to the students, “Come on. Back outside.”

They almost seemed disappointed they’d done so well but followed after him obediently.

The octopus… however…

“Reader, are you alright?” instantly fretting.

“It’s fine. It’s just a pulled muscle. Not that big of a deal.”

He was hovering by the cot. 

You chuckled, “Seriously, it’s fine. It’s probably just gonna suck for a few days.”

“I could perhaps be of some assistance.” he seemed… anxious. Not just fretting anxious.

“What? Got some replacement muscles you could loan me?”

“Well, no, but...”

“But…?”

“Can you stand?”

“Probably.” you sat up slowly, gasping at the sharp pain. He helped you off of the cot gently.

“I might have a solution but it will require me to be a bit… hands on.”

“Fuck, dude, if it’ll help, sure. Need me to lay down or?”

“It shouldn’t be necessary but perhaps steady yourself?”

You’d be more flustered if your back wasn’t a solid knot of pain right now. You moved to the table by the door, wincing as you leaned your arms against the table, taking pressure off the ache.

"If I may?" He held out his hands.

You nodded.

His movement was quick, you found yourself pushed firmly against the table. Tentacles made their way under your shirt and-

Oh…

You gasped as he did something to your back, the pain receding in its wake.

Your body sagged and you let out a sigh of relief. When you straightened the pain wasn't entirely gone but certainly lessened. 

"What did you…?" You looked back at him. 

The pink had deepened significantly, "Ah- a localized massage of the area."

You laughed, "Ah… an Irina massage?"

His color was quickly approaching a deep magenta, "Hers was more involved… full bodied… actually."

You raised an eyebrow, "Full bodied, huh?"

He sounded alarmed, "Nothing like that! I mean it was quite… fun but it wasn't-"

You laughed a bit, "Relax…" you reached up, patting his cheek, "I wouldn't mind trying one of those some time though."

Oh shit.

_ Fucking autopilot. _

You felt your face burning. His eyes went wide and he went hot pink.

"Oh! We-Well, I would be happy to oblige! Though perhaps not here given…"

"Don't want to give the kids ammunition for another video?" You smirked.

"Precisely."

You laughed a bit, wincing, “Sounds good. Gonna need a few more minutes before I can tackle the kids again. Think you can let Karasuma know?”

He nodded, “Of course!”

And with that he made a swift exit, seemingly relieved to be out of the embarrassing situation.

So much for keeping his hands off you.

When you rejoined the group outside Okano approached you, “Hey, Mx. Reader are you alright?”

“It’s fine, Okano.” you smiled reassuringly, “Sucks but nothing is broken.”

“You sure you’re good to go, Doc?” Terasaka eyed you.

“Gonna try but maybe a countdown this time?”

“I think we can do that.” Okano nodded.

Under Karasuma’s watchful eye, Okano began the countdown.

“3...2...1!”

You immediately ducked aside as Terasaka came at with with a haymaker. Okano followed up with a kick that grazed your side.

The pang in your back was definitely making a difference.

You tried to fling a punch at Okano only to get blocked and reflexively tossed to the ground.

Your back was on fire, you gasped and held up a hand, “Hang on, hang on!”

Karasuma came into view, looking down at you, “You’re out for the day. Rest up and come back fresh.”

You sighed, “Goddammit.”

“You’d tell me to do the same.” he said dryly.

The kids helped you to your feet.

Well…

At least you had some time to string up those cranes…

You spent a good portion of the afternoon laying on the cot which you’d pulled up alongside the table, resting your back and threading cranes on strings. When you’d gotten the next string ready, you pushed yourself upright and stretched.

Which was a mistake.

You hissed through your teeth and got to your feet.

Great. Well, the train trip home was gonna suc-

“Reader?”

You looked up to see the octopus standing in the doorway.

“Hey.” you smiled, waving.

“The children are heading home. I think it’s about time we got you home as well.”

You nodded, “Yeah I was going to catch the train-”

“Nonsense!” you found yourself scooped up, “I’ll be happy to assist.”

You felt your face heat up. It was embarrassing to be so blind sided by something as stupid as a pulled muscle but his offer sounded fantastic.

“Fine...”

He chuckled, “As if you had a choice in the matter!”

You rolled your eyes, “Uh huh, sure. You’re Mister Considerate so I doubt you’d ignore me saying no.”

He pursed his lips, “Touche. Now, let's get you home." 


	84. Thorough (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come  
> [Koro's POV](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/52191133)

In no time you arrived at your apartment, the painkillers were wearing off and you were starting to feel the spasm in your back again. Goddammit.

He helped you inside and paused, watching you as you hobbled to the couch.

“Allow me to fix you dinner.”

“I mean… can’t really stop you can I?” you sighed, dropping your head back against the couch.

His response was a cocky chuckle as he dashed to the kitchen.

You shook your head with a smile and closed your eyes, trying to will the muscle in your back to fucking chill already.

“Is there anything you’d like?”

You waved a hand, “Nah, go nuts. Surprise me.”

He chuckled and you heard him begin rustling about in the kitchen. Soon there was the scent of simmering meat.

Damn…

Whatever it was smelled good.

You got to your feet, in part to investigate and in part to see if you could help.

In sitting your muscle had tightened again. You groaned in annoyance and pain. Reaching back, you dug a knuckle against it, trying to get rid of the ache.

"If you're still sore I would be more than happy to assist."

He was in front of you, holding up his hands lightly.

You looked at him still kneading at your back, "Hm?"

"You did say you were interested in a more… thorough massage."

Oh...god?

You could feel your face heating up.

But also… honestly you were hella sore and if he could get this knot out of your lower back then you'd be thrilled…

And what he’d done at the school  _ had _ helped...

And the other night had been  _ really _ nice...

But also that would involve tentacles on you, both an exciting and nerve wracking concept.

You straightened and winced.  _ Christ _ .

You'd deal with tentacles, this was painful, "Could you?"

There was a slight flicker of pink in his face and he nodded, "Let's get you comfortable first, shall we?"

He scooped you up gently but abruptly and you found yourself laying face down on your futon.

Oh so this was going to happen  _ here _ . 

_ Great _ .

"All right, good and comfortable?"

"As I can manage?" Your face was half pressed into the pillow.

"This will only take a moment."

You really could  _ not _ explain what happened next. There were tentacles all over you, pressure, cracking, and moans. It took a minute to realize those moans were coming from you. It just felt so  _ good _ .

You'd joked a few times in your past about feeling like a doll someone needed to replace the joints in.

When he had finished that's what you felt like had been done to you.

Everything was loose, relaxed, and all the knots in your back had vanished.

It felt like every part of you had been rolled and stretched and kneaded. 

You were left panting in the wake of it, your body shaking.

"Better?~"

He sounded so cocky but  _ lord _ did he have good reason to be.

You rolled over, looking up at him, "That felt  _ amazing _ ."

He went a brilliant pink, hovering over you. You were in bed, he was right above you…

Your thoughts about what should happen next were absolutely  _ not _ what you'd planned for the evening….

There was a ping from the kitchen timer and he hopped up, seemingly flustered and visibly nervous, "Let me check that. You just relax."

He zipped out of the room leaving you to recover.

God, you hadn't felt this good in  _ ages _ . You stretched. Nothing popped or grinded.

You could still feel his hands on you even though he was done, it was like your body was just catching up…

You practically melted into your futon. God, if he felt that good just giving you a  _ massage _ what woul-

You pumped the breaks on that thought but it was too late. Your mind went wild with ideas of what he could do to you in a more... intimate setting. It made your heart race and parts of you ache with need.

"Reader?"

You shot upright, a blush burning your cheeks. 

He was leaning in the doorway, "Everything fine I trust?"

Nodding you stood up, a bit shaky, "Yeah, that was just…" you gave a content sigh, not able to really articulate the feeling properly.

He chuckled, a tentacle guiding you into the living room, "I  _ do _ pride myself on being  _ very _ thorough.~"

Oh it was  _ illegal _ how much that one sentence affected you…

"I'm afraid the food isn't ready quite yet." He was apologetic.

"That at least gives me time to take a shower."

He went a touch pink, "Yes, you do that and I'll mind the meal."

A few minutes later you were securely locked in your bathroom, touching yourself while the sound of the water drowned out any noise you might make.

You felt embarrassed and ashamed doing this while he was here but if you  _ didn't _ you weren't going to be able to resist the urge to throw yourself at him. Something you didn't want to do before figuring things out first…

Your body was still being wracked from the aftereffects, the ghostly aftershocks of his hands on you. What would that feel like elsewhere? If he could make you feel that good that fast…

God, you trembled at the idea of how many times he could make you cum. The idea of tentacles teasing at you while he did that. The thought of him going a touch slower, just enough that it didn’t hit you after.

At least at first…

He could certainly go for faster rounds after…

God.

The sounds he'd pulled from you, the way he'd leaned over you…

_ Fuck. _

That had been good.

What _ else _ could he do?

You braced an arm on the wall, biting a knuckle as you came, struggling to keep yourself from moaning.

When the feeling had receded you sank down to the shower floor, leaning your head back against the wall.

For a long moment, you sat there, shaking and catching your breath.

You couldn’t just stay in here. You were going to have to go back out there…

You scrubbed yourself thoroughly, rinsing off the suds and letting the hot water warm the muscles he’d so lovingly worked into submission.

Well… time to face the music.

You toweled off and exited the bathroom, heading to the kitchen.

Something was going on with his colors. Green stripes and pink seemed to be battling for dominance of his head.

Approaching him, you touched his arm, “Hey-”

He nearly jumped out of his skin. Blue flickering across his face.

_ Shit. _

Had you scared him?

“You okay?”

“Oh! Yes! I’m fine!” he was quick to reassure, “I hope you like hambāgu! ”

“Yeah.” you gave him a smile, “It’s great.”

“Perfect.” he quickly scooped up plates and cutlery, “Shall we?”

Whatever had been going on seemed to have passed. You joined him at the table.

The meal was, of course, cooked to perfection.

You still felt embarrassed about what you’d done, but you should still probably thank him properly…

“Hey, uh...”

“Hm?”

“Thanks, that really helped my back.”

His grin seemed to brighten, “Of course! Anytime.”

You smiled and suddenly he stood, “You know it occurs to me this would go perfectly with some mugicha! Give me just a moment, I’ll be back!”

With a rush of wind he was gone.

Wh-

What the fuck?

Barley tea?

A few moments later he rushed back in and to the kitchen and settled a pair of cold glasses of barley tea on the table. 

“There.” he sat, “Perfect for summer.”

You chuckled and shook your head, “If you say so.”

“It is!” he insisted, “It’s been a favorite of the nation for over a thousand years. Though it didn’t become a summertime drink until the 1950’s.”

You took a sip, curious.

“I took the liberty of adding a bit of sugar, I know that you tend to like things sweet.”

Less bitter than tea with a nutty flavor.

“Not bad.” you smiled at him.

He seemed relieved.

That made two of you.


	85. What's the Rush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come.

He insisted on staying over to ensure that you were comfortable and rested. There was definitely no fighting him on it.

You lay on your futon, face down. One of his hands was gently working against your back. The soreness was gone at this point but it felt too good for you to tell him to stop.

You laid your head against his shoulder, running your hand over his chest. You smoothed your hand over his tie, surprised when your finger snagged.

“There’s a hole in your tie...”

He looked down at you, “Yes...for sentimental reasons...”

Sentimental reasons…

_ Hidden away in her pocket was a large birthday present. An oversized tie that no one would wear. _

Had it…

He must have seen the look on your face because his expression softened.

"She had it with her." The words were simple but the weight his tone bore was heavy.

You placed a hand over it, an ache entering your chest.

A hole in his tie to match the one in his heart.

"Reader…"

You brought up a hand wiping at the tears that had collected in the corners of your eyes, "Sorry, just… I know what she meant to you…"

He looked worried, "You are meaningful to me too, Reader…"

"I know. It's not… Like that. I just…" you took a breath, "It hurts to see you hurt."

You could feel his eyes on you.

"I… look, I don't want this to seem weird…" you sat up and he shifted, watching you.

"After you told me about her… when you went to Everest, I looked her up."

He was silent.

_ Fuck _ .

"I just… I felt like I needed to say something to her. Or… I don't know… apologize for having what she couldn't." You took a breath, "So I visited her grave… I told her how well you're doing with the kids and how I felt about you. I even looked up her old social media posts. And, I don't know… it just…" you shook your head, "I don't feel like I'm competing with a ghost. I feel like I'm helping an old friend."

He was still silent but you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. What if this was stepping over some boundary? What if it was going to upset him?

"I just want you to know that it's okay. I know you love her and I know you love me. And I'm  _ glad _ you love us both. You're always get worried but you don't have to be worried when we talk about her or she's brought up. She was important to you and because of that she's important to me too."

You felt self-conscious but then you felt tentacles guide you back down beside him. He touched his forehead to yours and you could see tears in his eyes.

"I never want you to doubt how important you are to me." His voice was soft, relaxed compared to its tightness a moment ago, "That's why I worry. I want… I want you to know you're not a replacement."

You shook your head, "I know that." You tipped his face to yours, kissing him, "If I worry about my place with you, I'll tell you. Deal?"

He relaxed further and nodded, pulling you in for another kiss, "Thank you, Reader."

"But you have to do the same with me." You cupped his face gently, running your thumbs across the soft curves of his cheeks, "I want you to know that you're always loved."

He gave a small shudder and you found yourself wrapped tightly in tentacles, lips on yours. You laughed softly against his mouth.

"I love you." 

"Love you too."

"Hey, I'm sorry if me going there was weird or anything-"

He kissed you again, "Not at all." he looked relieved, “I’m glad that you did.” 

Hands glided over you, warm and careful. You closed your eyes, burying your face in his front.

The scent of old books, summer rain, and a soft sweetness of caramel.

“You smell good.” you murmured, your voice muffled by his shirt.

He went neon pink, “So do you.”

You laughed a bit, “Ah, yes, spice and fall. So, I smell like a Starbucks.”

“I wouldn’t quite say a Starbucks.” he chuckled, “More like a forest in late autumn.”

“That’s… really specific.”

“It’s the closest I can relate it to. To a normal person, it’s not the same, I’m sure.” he seemed to just be getting progressively more flustered.

“I guess I can’t really say anything, you always smell like old books and rain to me.”

He looked at you in surprise, “Old books and rain?”

You nodded, “Sort of like a bookstore on a rainy day.”

“And you say mine is specific.” he laughed a bit and you could see the pink lighten.

“And sugar.” you smirked up at him, “Or caramel.”

“Mmm, you have that as well...” he was looking off a bit, the pink rising in his cheeks again.

_ Cute. _

You leaned over, kissing him softly, "So, tutoring tomorrow yeah?"

He nodded, "Yes," he chuckled, "How  _ will _ you survive without me?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

He nuzzled you, "Let's just say that it's lucky I'm unkillable or you would have done me in far before now."

You chuckled, feeling your face heat up. A hand tipped your face up to his, kissing you slowly. You gave a happy sigh, closing your eyes. Tentacles wrapped around you and you looped your arms around his neck.

Here? This moment?

It was perfect.

You drifted off exchanging sleepy kisses, tentacles curled around you, your face buried in the tie that served as a reminder of loss of the past… and loss to come.

Sunlight played across your lids. You sighed.

You didn’t want to be awake yet.

You hugged the pillow tightly, fading bac-

Wait…

Your eyes snapped open.

Pillow?

Your bed was missing approximately one octopus.

As you sat up and reached for your phone you saw that there was a post-it note stuck to the screen.

More accurately, a series of post-it notes stuck on one another in a line.

_ Reader, _

_ I’m terribly sorry to leave without saying goodbye this morning but you looked so peaceful sleeping and after yesterday I thought you might need some extra rest. Karasuma asked that you wait out drills today given yesterday’s injury but he expects you back tomorrow. _

_ AND ON THAT NOTE~ _

_ I’ll be stopping by around 6 PM to pick you up for dinner.  _ ❤️

_ I also have a surprise for tomorrow.  _

_ Anyhow, I’m off to tutor the children. There’s breakfast waiting for you on the stove.  _

_ XOXO _

_ Cuddle Fish _

God…

He was adorable.

You peeled the notes off to see a notification.

Why did he bother with notes if-

[Reader, how do you feel about themed restaurants?]

You laughed a bit.

[What? Like those cafes and stuff with the characters?]

[In a sense, yes.]

[I’ve wanted to check them out but haven’t really yet.]

[Perfect.]

[ ❤️ ]

As you rose, you were happy to find that the pain in your back was gone… mostly. A dull ache from time to time but that was manageable. You paused. Your bag from Okinawa was by the door, packed…

Another post-it was stuck to it.

_ I took the liberty of packing this for you for the surprise. _

_ I do hope you have a warm coat. _

What…?

Where was he taking you???

You unzipped the bag. Typical overnight toiletries, pajamas, a change of clothes…

_ Interesting… _

You made your way to the kitchen. There was a covered plate on the stove, still warm. You uncovered it and laughed.

Omurice.

With his stupid fucking smile on it.

Goddammit.

You made yourself coffee and sat at the table, eating. 

He was so fucking cute.

You had to stop halfway through to just bury your face in your hands.

He was SO fucking cute.

After breakfast, you had time to kill so you made your way out and down to the store. You should probably pick up a few groceries….

But first, there was one place you wanted to stop back by.

The graveyard was the same as it had been the last time you arrived. You found her stone easily this time.

And somehow… talking out loud wasn’t as hard.

“Miss Yukimura, it’s me. Mx. Reader. I told you I’d come by again.”

What spilled out of you was emotions…

And a realization.

You only had one person you could talk to about all of these feelings.

And it was him.

But… well… 

You had a  _ lot _ of feelings.

“I… realized I never really told you what’s going on with the class… I thought I should.” you collected your thoughts, “In order to teach the class he challenged the government. So he’s allowed to teach and the children try to assassinate him. I know that’s… probably not what you  _ intended _ . But he’s doing a wonderful job. The kids are learning so much and they’re becoming so confident. God… so much has happened...”

You told her about _ everything _ . 

Karma trying to throw himself off the cliff, the arrival of Irina, how Okuda tried to poison him, midterms, the Kyoto trip, the new students, the baseball game, Takaoka, the pool, the nomikai, and finally…

“He almost died on Okinawa. He’s  _ so proud _ of them.” you chuckled, shaking your head, “Then Takaoka showed back up and poisoned the kids. We had to infiltrate a hotel and Nagisa faced off with him. And the kid just… he knocked him out. It was scary but… these kids are  _ amazing _ . Everyone was fine in the end...”

Then, the rest spilled out, your feelings about him, about the situation, about your relationship, how things had been, the dates.

“He’s so careful all the time and he thinks about you a lot.” you smiled, “I… learned more about you and I can see why he loves you.”

You paused, looking at the stone before you.

She’d been funny, charming, sweet, and smart.

You didn’t fully understand why he saw you as her equal but it was flattering.

“I’m going to take care of him for you so please don’t worry.” you laughed a bit, “I know there’s a LOT to worry about. But leave that to me, okay?”

It felt good.

GOD, it felt good to get everything out.

To have someone you could  _ tell _ about it.

“I’m glad I can talk to you… it… it makes this easier...” you sighed, feeling content, “I promise I’ll come back and keep you updated.”

You made your way out of the graveyard feeling lighter, calmer.

Now, time for errands…

After putting things away you collapsed on the couch. Maybe it was your back, maybe it was everything that had happened lately, but without intending to you fell asleep.

A rush of wind in your tiny apartment woke you and when you opened your eyes next a familiar grin was in front of you. You laughed and reached up, pulling him down into a kiss. Clearly, he hadn't expected it, going a bright pink with a darling sound of surprise. You chuckled, "That was adorable."

He laughed a bit, trying to regain his composure. You cupped his cheek with your hand and he nuzzled into it for a moment before looking at you, “I take it you found my notes.”

“I did.” you gave him a look of suspicion, “What sort of surprise needs an overnight bag?”

He went pink for a moment and then smirked, “Nurufufufu~ Well, I suppose you’ll have to wait and see, won’t you?”

You pouted, just a bit and you could see his resolve waver for a second.

“None of that!” he straightened up, pulling you to your feet, “I promise, it will be well worth the wait.”

“Fine, fine.” you smirked, “So… where are we going?”

His grin quirked up, “As you surmised I’m sure, a themed izakaya!”

He looked delighted.

“What’s the theme?”

He only grinned wider.

“You aren’t going to tell me are you?”

“Let’s just say it’s historical.”

“Historical?”

He nodded, “Are you ready?”

“Just a sec.”

One change of clothes and readying of your bag later and you came out of your room with a grin, “Okay.”

The second he looked at you, he chuckled, “I see you’re getting more comfortable wearing those out and about.”

You laughed a little smoothing down your shirt which said, in bright, cheery print:

_ BECOME DOOR! _

“Yeah, I mean why not, right? Besides, you seem to like them too.”

“They’re charming.” his voice held a softness to it, his eyes trained on you.

There was a long moment before he shook himself out of his staring, going pink, “Well! Shall we?”

You nodded and he scooped you up.

Soon you found yourself navigating a building in Shinjuku. He was careful to make sure you didn’t see any signs which told you the place was at least well advertised. He guided you into an elevator and when you exited you found yourself facing a row of shoe cubbies, all decorated in various family crests. The interior was dim. Small braziers sporting fake flames hung from the ceiling providing warm, gentle yellow lighting. 

“What…?” you looked back at him.

He chuckled, “Welcome to Sengoku Buyuden!” his grin widened, “Themed around the Sengoku period. The ‘Age of the Warring States’.”

A history-themed izakaya.

Of course.

_ Anything _ that gave him a chance to teach.

He looked ecstatic.

It was  _ adorable. _

You checked in your shoes, pocketing the key for now. The place was rusticly styled, heavy wide wooden floorboards, emblems everywhere. Small braziers with fake flames hung from the ceiling providing warm light to the room. Music played over speakers overhead, the sort you might hear in historical Japanese dramas. 

You were greeted by a host who was already addressing you as warlords.

Oh.

My god.

You tried not to laugh.

Your companion addressed the host quietly. From what you could catch it sounded like he’d made a reservation.

Several sets of samurai armor were on display, each with plaques bearing the names of their wearers. 

A red set of metal plated armor, heavy black beads hanging at the neck. A red half mask in an angry scowl with a mustache like fringe above the lip. In its hand was a spear.

_ Maeda Keiji _

A seated set covered in ornate beadwork and a complex headpiece. It was done up in blacks, reds, and yellows. 

_ Uesuki Kenshin _

A shining black armor set, the edges decorated in yellow beads. The helm was topped with a crescent of gold.

_ Date Masamune _

And a bit apart on the left was a full suit of armor in brilliant red. The half mask was red, mouth grimacing brandishing teeth. Sheets of blonde hair hung from the helm which was topped in long deer-like antlers.

_ Sananda Yukimura _

Yukimura…

You felt him lean over your shoulder, “Ready?”

You jumped in surprise and nodded.

You were lead past the bar surrounded with benches decorated in fake spears and down a short hall lined with battle flags. The host calling out, “Our war has begun, we shall fight to the death!”

Voices from… somewhere, you assume other hosts in the building, called back, “We welcome you to our place!” 

God, this was right up his alley. You suppressed a grin.

To either side were small halls and rooms. Your host took a left at the end entering a hall lined with private rooms and decorated in battle maps. And you found yourself deposited in a small red room with a sliding burgundy door… labeled Sanada Yukimura. 

Yukimura again…

It was small, cozy and a bit of a tight squeeze given the octopus’ size but shortly you were both seated at the table. Him on the far wall on a bench and you in a chair with your back to the door. Your host presented the menus to you and left you to make your choices.

He gave you a grin and you laughed, “I get why you wanted to try this place, Mr. Edo-Era Swordplay Aficionado.”

“Actually!” he looked excited as hell, “Sengoku was the period  _ just before _ the Edo era! It took place from 1467 to 1600. It was a time of war, intrigue, and change. Daimyo, warlords of the era, fought one another for power and control. This lead to peasant uprisings. It ended with the reunification of the country. It was a time of feudal lords and battle!”

You chuckled, propping your chin up on your hand watching him ramble.

He realized he was lecturing again and stopped abruptly, “I know that war is not your preference but you can’t deny the  _ drama _ of the history here.”

“You’re adorable when you’re excited.”

Bright pink.

_ Cute. _

“Well, you  _ did _ seem interested in Enoshima!”

You chuckled, “I am. I like learning from you.”

The blush in his cheeks deepened, “Thank you, Reader...” in a desperate effort to regain control, he turned his attention to the menu, “Shall we order?!”

You nodded, looking over your choices.

Everything was named after warlords and samurai here and damn…

It all looked good.

After a few minutes of discussion you settled on onigiri to start.

“Ooooo, this is perfect.” he chuckled, tapping one of the items, “The Battle of Sekigahara! Named after the most important battle in Japanese history. The event encompassed 200,000 fighters and lasted for six hours. It led the way for Tokugawa Ieyasu to become Shogun- an event that is considered one of the Three Great Unifiers of Japan.”

The dish was vegetables, layered over with strips of beef, pork, and chicken that would be steamed at the table.

You weren’t… really sure of how that represented a battle but…

“It does look good.” you chuckled, “What about dessert? There’s a platter that looks pretty good…”

You faltered at the menu item you’d just tapped.

_ Sanada Yukimura’s Battle. _

This just… kept coming up huh?

If it bothered him it was only for an instant because he immediately brightened, “A splendid idea and a clever use of plating. You see, Sanada Yukimura was known for his strategy! The platter’s layout is reminiscent of a battlefield. You probably saw his armor out front. He was known as the Crimson Demon of War or The Last Sengoku Hero. He was actually killed not long after the period ended. Now, drinks!”

“Well, I mean they do have Cassius and Orange.” you smirked at him.

He went pink, “I’d much rather be sober spending time with you, thank you.”

“Yeah, Cuddle Fish?”

Bright pink.

_ Perfect. _

“I’ll have green tea I think.”

You chuckled, “I mean  _ I _ could always drink.”

Oh wow that was an even  _ deeper _ pink.

“You  _ could _ ...”

“But I’ll probably just have water.”

You weren’t sure if he was relieved or regretful.

Your orders were placed and shortly your drinks were brought to you by a chipper host. Happily, she explained that there was a customary cheer to make when having your drinks.

“Senshō!” she called out.

_ Victory. _

“Banzai!” you lifted your drinks, taking a drink. You heard calls of BANZAI from a few of the other rooms.

You laughed and she made her exit, leaving you alone with one excited octopus. He grinned across at you.

He was  _ living _ for this place. You were surprised he wasn’t in full cosplay at this point.

“So, tutoring go well?”

He nodded, “The children are excited about your challenge I think. They threw themselves into their studies with vigor today.”

“That’s going to be interesting...” you chuckled, taking another sip of your drink, “What’s the plan for tomorrow?”

“More tutoring, actually.” he grinned across at you over his tea, “Your surprise will be in the evening.”

You squinted, “So we’re staying somewhere.” Oh this was a GOLDEN chance to tease him, “Why, _ Korosensei! _ Are you taking me to a love hotel?~”

He choked on his drink, coughing, his skin going a vibrant magenta.

_ Fuck, too much. _

“Oh shit, you okay?”

He took a moment to recover and looked across at you, his tone scandalized,  _ “Reader!” _

You laughed, “What? Is that a weird suggestion?”

He looked like he might combust on the spot.

At that moment the door slid open and your delightfully cheery waitress entered, placing a plate containing a package made of leaves in front of the two of you, “Your onigiri!”

You both hurriedly thanked her and when she’d left you couldn’t help it. You started laughing.

“I’m sorry, your face was priceless.” you reached across the table taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

He returned it, the motion seemed to calm him. And just like that he focused on the appetizer brought to you, “Oh, look!”

_ A distraction! _

You looked at the plate before you. He deftly unwrapped the bamboo leaf package, revealing two onigiri wrapped in cooked meat, “Bamboo leaves have long been used in Japan for food preservation and transport. Oak, magnolia, and the bamboo sheath were also used for this purpose. Bamboo leaves and sheaths are exceptional in that they have both antimicrobial qualities and can be used to steam the food inside. Their use was quite common during the time period. An excellent small touch to the presentation!”

God he was adorable.

“That’s really cool. Wait… is that where that plastic bento grass comes from?”

His face went red, showcasing a circle, apparently being behind closed doors made him more comfortable with his expressions, “Correct! Though the disposable and non-biodegradable nature of them leaves much to be desired.”

He picked up his chopsticks and you did the same. The onigiri smelled amazing.

You carefully picked up the rice ball, taking a bite.

Oh damn…

You’d forgotten just how hungry you were. You hadn’t had much today and this was fucking fantastic. Rich meat, perfectly cooked rice, and a delicious mix of spices.

When you looked up you realized he was staring at you, riceball forgotten in his chopsticks.

You laughed a little, “Not going to try it? It’s really good!”

He snapped to, “Of course!”

You carefully maneuvered your way through the rest of the onigiri and by the time you were done, your cheery server was back… with gear.

She sat down a hotplate of sorts with a bamboo box on top. Lifting the lid she showcased the marbled strips of meat laying on a bed of veggies. Closing it back up, she lit up the burner beneath, setting the meal to steam explaining it would take a few moments. Then she cleared away the plate for the onigiri and vanished again.

“How did you find this place anyway?” you sipped your drink, looking across at him.

“I actually came across it when doing a bit of research for the nomikai.” he brightened, “I almost suggested it but-”

“Karasuma.” you both said in unison.

The two of you fell into laughter.

“He would _ hate _ this place.” you grinned, “God could you imagine him saying Banzai?”

“We’d have to take him out for drinks beforehand to even get him to come here, I’m certain.”

“Or slip him something.”

He snorted, “That would be a military incident waiting to happen.”

You laughed then paused, “Speaking of him though… I’m a little worried about how long that gas has affected him...”

“It _ is _ concerning.” he agreed, “But I have been noticing marked improvement. I believe Mr. Karasuma is well on his way to a full recovery.”

“I hope so.” you sat back and at that moment the waitress re-entered, bowls and a kettle in hand.

With a flourish, she removed the lid of the bamboo steamer, revealing your meal which was now steamed to perfection.

Once satisfied that you both were content, she excused herself again.

He transferred some of the meat and vegetables into his bowl and poured dashi stock from the kettle, the broth pooling below them. You did the same.

Damn.

You were so fucking hungry.

Your stomach had woken up with the onigiri and now you were starving.

The next few minutes were spent in amiable silence, the pair of you enjoying your meal. The meat was juicy, the vegetables light, and the broth simple but delicious.

A few times that you looked up you caught him staring at you, he would quickly turn his attention back to his food each time.

The pair of you finished the meal in no time and your waitress appeared again, clearing things away and announcing dessert would arrive shortly.

When she’d left, he looked to you. He’d gone pink again.

Ever since the joke about the love hotel he’d been fidgety and it was just  _ too _ tempting. 

Time for an experiment…

Under the table, you carefully ran your foot along one of his legs.

Ha,  _ god _ . This actually was making  _ you _ nervous. 

He looked at you, confusion on his face for a moment. Then his eyes went wide and he was instantly hot pink.

Flustered, you went to move your leg back.

Then you felt something wrap around your calf. You tensed for a moment and looked up at him.

Pink. Pink with a look of slight breathlessness. His hand found yours under the table and squeezed it gently.

You relaxed just a bit.

It didn't  _ seem _ like it had been too far…

His voice was low, “Reader?”

You met his eyes.

He leaned across the table, looking at you intently. You felt the tendril around your leg shift slightly, “Was there something you wanted?”

HA.

You laughed and looked up at him, “To see how you’d react.”

“ _ Is that so? _ ” the tendril moved along, inching its way upward before coming to rest on your knee.

WHELP THIS HAD BACKFIRED.

He chuckled, green stripes crossing his face, “What’s wrong?” his voice pitched up a bit as he leaned in, “Wasn’t expecting _ payback? _ ”

SHIT FUCK ABORT MISSION.

You laughed, nervous, “Maybe.”

The tendril gently slid up, resting on your thigh.

Ohhhh fuck uh…

He chuckled, green stripes still in place. The tendril retreated. You weren’t sure if you were relieved or regretful of it…

His hand squeezed yours and you felt your face burning.

Wow, that was…

You suppressed nervous laughter and the door opened, the waitress presenting the dessert platter and setting on the table with a flourish. You both thanked her, flustered by the interruption. When she was gone you found yourself looking across at him.

He just chuckled and gestured to the platter, “Which end shall we start at?”

And just like that the moment was passed by as you both focused on which morsel to tackle first…

You still weren’t sure if you were relieved or regretful...

The moment you were out on the street and out of the way you found yourself pulled to one side, his lips finding yours in a kiss. You laughed, surprised but when he pulled back you saw that his expression was one you were beginning to recognize. An eagerness. A want. A longing...

You smiled, "Did you want to head back to my place?"

He nodded, "I would  _ love _ that..."

"Disappointed you can’t just make out with me here?"

"Among other things." 

Oh??

_ Oh my god??? _

"Yeah?"

He went bright pink, eyes wide, and you realized that he’d said it unintentionally.

“Ah- that is uh-” he was flustered, sputtering.

You couldn’t help it, you laughed, nuzzling him, “Let’s go then.~“

Swiftly, you were gathered up and flying to your apartment.

Instead of dropping you off on the balcony, he drew you into the main building. You led him up to your apartment. The second the door closed behind you you felt a tentacle wrap lightly around your waist. You turned to look and he leaned down, kissing you deeply.

O h…

You were pinned back against the door. Your heart was pounding.

He paused for a fraction of a second, looking at you. You reached up and pulled him back in for a kiss. 

He continued to kiss you. Suddenly you found yourself lifted, he drew you up to his height. Your back was still against the door. You moaned into the kiss and wrapped your arms and legs around him.

He gasped, running his hands over your body gently, kissing down your neck, pulling back your shirt collar to kiss at your shoulder.

_Ohhhh_ _that was new..._

You whined, tipping your head back to give him better access. 

You melted in his arms. He kissed his way back up your neck and found your lips again, claiming them. You pulled him close, nuzzling him, and catching your breath, "You wanted to kiss me  _ that bad _ huh?"

He chuckled low and gentle against your ear. You wanted to know where this was going next…

Then there was an intake of breath and something changed. The amping tension faded and he looked back at you again with fondness, leaning down to press a much gentler kiss to you, "I love being with you."

Your face burned, " _ Canyouspendthenight? _ "

_ Smooth, Reader. _

_ Smooth. _

"I wish that I could but I need to make preparations. I'm scheduled to tutor Kurahashi tomorrow…"

"Okay… just an hour or two then?" You looked up at him, sheepish.

He chuckled, "I think I can spare that."

You both moved to the couch but this time you grabbed a seat and gestured for him to join you, patting your lap. "You could lay here… if you want."

He went a bright pink and nodded. His tentacle legs hung over the side of the couch a bit but he seemed content and comfortable with his head in your lap. You ran a hand over his cheek lightly and he shivered. He rolled on his side, face in your stomach, eyes closing. You heard him let out a trembling breath as you continued to pet him.

There was a quiet sort of sound from him, a soft keening hum as you ran your hands over him. It was adorable.

One of his hands came up to run along your cheek gently. You nuzzled against it.

“Still not telling me what the surprise is?”

He went pink and then laughed slightly, “Now, Reader,  _ patience _ .~”

Reaching up, you cupped his hand touching your face and pressed a kiss to it, “What can I say? I’m trying.”

He chuckled, which quickly turned to a sound of surprise as you pressed a kiss to his arm, leaving a trail across his skin.

There was a shudder from him.

You saw him glancing up at you sidelong, his cheeks a brighter pink in contrast to the paler pink of his body.

He was so precious…

His hand that you’d been kissing now moved to stroke your cheek again, trailing down to your neck.

Your heart raced and…

His hand came to rest against your chest gently.

“Your heart...”

Your face went white-hot and you laughed a little, “Yeah you kinda have that effect on me.”

You expected laughter but instead, you just saw him close his eyes, hand still lightly in place…

“Here...” you encouraged him to sit up, pulling your own legs up on the couch before drawing him back over to you.

Your back was against the armrest and you took his head, pressing it to your chest gently. After a moment’s tension, you felt a hand come up to gently wrap around your arm. A soft sound of contentment coming from him.

It was peaceful, warm, quiet. A sort of hushed calm.

_ Damn _ you wished he could spend the night…

You lay there, petting him gently.

There was something amusing about seeing him so still and peaceful. He was so frantic at the school, spending time with you, but when it was quiet like this…

It was nice to see him relax.

You felt a hand worm it’s way around you, his arm wrapping around your waist. You chuckled and kissed the top of his head softly.

“Hey...”

He looked up at you.

“Uh… once classes start back up… how do we want to do this?”

“Do what exactly?”

Your face burned, “Well… I think we’re both on the same page that we want to spend time together...”

He nodded.

“And you like staying over here a lot...”

He nodded again, slowly, clearly trying to sort out what you were getting at.

“I guess… well… I imagine you get tired of hauling stuff like bedding out here and things-”

His eyes went wide, “Oh! I had thought of leaving a spare here but-”

“Didn’t want to overstep?” you smirked.

Pink.

Yep.

Correct.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, you can leave stuff here. You can literally come by as often as you want.” you laughed a bit and nuzzled him, “I want to see as much of you as possible.”

His expression flickered to a fond softness and suddenly you were wrapped in tentacles, lips pressed to yours. You laughed into the kiss.

“Just don’t like entirely redecorate the place.” you smirked, kissing the center of his face, “Though I mean if you want to put up more post-it notes I don’t mind.”

He chuckled and buried his face in your neck, “I love you.”

“Love you too, Cuddle Fish.”

The two of you stayed like that for a long while, his arms around you, face nuzzled into your neck and your hands roaming across his back.

After a while, he let out a sigh.

“Time to go?” you glanced down at him.

“I should...” he said, his tone filled with regret, “But I don’t want to let go.”

You laughed, tipping his face up to kiss him, “Hey, we’ll see each other tomorrow. After all, you still owe me a surprise apparently.”

He laughed a bit, green stripes showing back up, “I’m certainly glad it has your interest so piqued!”

“Look with you I have no idea what to expect.” you laughed, “For all I know you’re taking me to get your face tattooed on my ass.”

He went neon pink, “READER! I would never-”

Laughing, you patted his face, “Relax, I know. I’m just saying you’re a bit unpredictable in that department.”

That earned you green stripes and a chuckle, “I do try.~”

Reluctantly, he rose, unwrapping his arms from you. You sighed, following him to your balcony.

“Hey...”

He turned to look at you and you gestured for him to come closer. As he did you reached up, pulling him in and kissing him softly.

Tentacles wrapped around you again and you found yourself lifted.

Oh-

He gathered you close, kissing you passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck. When you parted, his cocky green stripes were back, “Making sure you can tide yourself over?”

You felt your face heat up and laughed, kissing him back, “Maybe.”

“I really should go...”

“I know...”

He sat you down but, before he took off, he turned back to you, leaning down and tipping your face up to his kissing you again.

You laughed, “Sure you’re not the one who needs tiding over?”

“You have no idea...” he took a moment, pressing his forehead to yours, “I’ll see you tomorrow...”

You nodded, “Tomorrow.”

And just like that, he was gone.


	86. If I Can’t Have You (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come.
> 
> Also let's just say, [Reader wasn't the only frustrated party here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/52339711).

You flopped back on your futon with a sigh. 

_ God… _

This was getting to you…

Every time the flirting got too heavy or you ended up making out, you were left wanting in its wake. 

You thought about the way he'd had you pinned against the door, how  _ easily _ he'd lifted you. Oh, that had parts of you on  _ fire _ . You'd neglected to think about how he could just move and manipulate your body like that and you couldn't help but imagine how that would play out in the bedroom. _ God, he could do so much to you if he wanted. _

Lifting you, guiding you, teasing you...

You laughed to yourself, covering your face as you realized… your boyfriend was basically his own sex swing. Fuck, he had the ability to be a sex  _ jungle gym _ . 

What if he hadn't stopped and  _ could  _ have spent the night?

What if tentacles had kept you pinned to that door while tendrils explored under your clothes to more intimate areas?

You bit your lip, shivering. Maybe a tentacle pressed to your lips to keep you quiet? Or better yet his mouth on yours…

Your hands drifted lower, teasing at yourself as your mind wandered.

You thought of the sounds he'd made the other night as you'd rolled and stretched his muscles. What would those sound like against your ear or throat? What could you do to make him sound like that again? You found yourself wondering what the rest of him felt like… tasted like…

Okay, you had to  _ do _ something about this or you were never going to sleep.

Getting up, you hastily retrieved the ridiculous purple toy you'd been gifted, along with lube. Your heart was racing, your focus on one thing only.

_ How fast could you get this thing inside you? _

You tugged off your pajama bottoms and sat up this time. You'd been pressed against the wall and the idea of riding a tentacle sounded  _ really _ appealing right now.

Applying lube, you worked the tip inside you, rocking down onto it carefully. You shivered, imagining that look he'd had. That gaze of want.

If this was what he wanted you’d be _ glad _ to give it to him.

Hell, you’d give him more than that if he’d let you...

The toy thickened the further down to the base you got and god the sensation of being stretched was  _ divine _ ... As you worked to get a good rhythm you began to fantasize.

His lips on your neck… maybe him lifting you… holding you up so you couldn't move, legs spread. A tentacle thrusting inside of you, guiding you along it.

You wanted to be his. To have him entangle you in his limbs and enjoy himself…. 

Enjoy you...

The idea of the sounds he might make, the way he might move…

You recalled the massage he'd given you. Could he do that  _ and _ fuck you?

God, you'd be  _ useless _ for a while after but _ fuck _ did it sound worth it…

You ran your hands over yourself as you rode the toy, struggling to bite back a moan.

His hands on you, moving too quickly to even tell what they were doing, your body reacting after the fact. God that would make for one hell of a night.

Were those moans what he sounded like when he came?

You wanted to hear those again so badly…

You wanted so _ much _ .

To see his breaking point. How far could you tease him before he either took you or begged you?

You shuddered at both images. You'd gladly accept being pounced on but with how he'd been approaching things you had a feeling that he might end up begging instead.

Oh fuck, what would  _ that _ sound like?

It was that thought that made you shudder, rocking down hard against the toy below you.

God… fuck...

You wanted…

You wanted…

You wanted to fuck him...

You covered your mouth with one hand stifling the sound that came from you as you slammed down on the toy. You were trembling and trying to keep your motions steady, riding out the last few waves of feeling before collapsing back on your futon.

_ Fuck… _

That was _ fast _ ...

You laid there with a sigh, toy leaning against your thigh, body still trembling.

What were you going to  _ do _ about this?

The kissing was wonderful, as was the making out and all of the intimate closeness you'd had together lately.

But... You  _ really _ wanted to know for sure if this was as far as things could go or not.

If it was, you could live with that but knowing would be better long term for both of you.

There were ... _ signs _ that he could but he _ had _ undergone a huge change. Maybe all this closeness was just intimacy for him. He pulled back before things could progress and you just…

You weren’t sure.

You felt like it would be rushing things to ask but...

You only had until March...

Better to ask and know then wait and regret, you supposed.

You resolved to ask him.

You would be content either way.

Rolling over, you clutched a pillow to your chest.

It still smelled like old books and summer rain...


	87. Frustration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!
> 
> Happy Holidays ya’ll. Hope you’re enjoying the chapter spam. Consider it my Christmas present to you guys.  
> Your comments and kudos have been a big bright part of this year for me and I’m really grateful for you.  
> I hope you guys enjoy the rest of what I have to offer!

You woke up to your alarm and sighed.

Drills today.

But that did mean seeing your idiot.

You chuckled to yourself and got up to get ready for the day.

After yesterday’s date, you felt pretty well… oddly confident. It had been fun and you’d gotten to fluster the octopus which was always a good time. Of course, going to drills meant…

You were probably going to get your ass beat again.

Well… at least you’d get to see the octopus.

Some of the kids waved to you as you approached the field. Karasuma gave you a slight nod. Irina was, you noticed, present today and…

Was she actually training???

What the fuck?

She was currently running laps, her expression focused.

Weird…

You approached Karasuma, “Morning.”

“Good morning. I assume you’re feeling better?”

You nodded, “Yeah… how about you?”

He paused and looked over at you. You gave him a look.

“Still minor tremors. It’s improving.”

“Good. Okuda make any progress?”

He gave you a confused look in response, “On what?”

“She was researching the poison?”

His expression shifted, you saw something not unlike fondness in his features, “I have no idea. No one told me.”

Oh…

Well, you supposed it made sense. He wasn’t the most cuddly teacher here so she might not have felt comfortable telling him. Or she might have been waiting for results…

“Yeah, she was looking into it.”

“Alright.” you noticed just a touch of comfort in his face.

You headed inside, remembering the last time you’d been here. On alert, you made your way to the lounge. You did  _ not _ want these kids to get the drop on you again. You found the lounge empty, missing one ever grinning octopus. Hm…

“Looking for me?” his voice was close by your ear.

You jumped, startled and spun around, hands up to block-

He looked at you in amusement, “Expecting the children, I take it?”

You relaxed, “Yeah… Sorry.”

He chuckled, “Not to worry, Terasaka has yet to arrive. Okano, however, is already outside.”

“Great...” you sighed, putting your things down.

“Nurufufufu~ Are they really so difficult to handle?”

You gave him a look, “I might as well be fighting you.”

His eyes widened and his grin sharpened, “Well, that  _ could _ be arranged...”

HA.

“I end up in the dirt here often enough, thank you.”

He looked at you for a long moment, “I think it could be a useful challenge for you.”

“What?” you looked at him skeptically.

“The idea is that you need to learn to attack. Mr. Karasuma’s approach is to pit you against those you care about to desensitize you to hurting others.” he gestured, his tendrils waving happily, “I’m unkillable and certainly more of a challenge than the children. And-” he was suddenly right in front of you, “I think we’ve established that you  _ care _ .”

Okay was this legit or a new form of flirting or both?

“I’m just going to get pummeled-”

He cackled, “Oh, I’ll be  _ entirely _ on the defensive, I _ assure _ you. Consider it a mock assassination.”

“I don’t want to assassinat-”

His hand came to rest on your shoulder, “You won’t be using a knife or any sort of anti-me material. Simply the skills you are learning with the children.”

You looked up at him for a long moment.

Fighting the octopus?

You couldn’t handle two kids…

But he seemed pretty insistent on it…

But god this was just… going to be embarrassing.

Then again, after octopus balls, you literally had no dignity in this class.

Why not get used to it?

“Fine, whatever.” you sighed, “Let me get changed.”

As you came out to the field you noticed that Okano and Terasaka were standing with Korosensei and Karasuma, talking together.

Hooo boy, NOTHING about that conversation was going to bode well for you.

You approached them and heard the octopus, “Here they are now! Mx. Reader, we were just talking about you.~”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” you rolled your eyes, “Let’s get this shitshow over with.”

He giggled. Karasuma looked at you, “You agreed to this?”

“He’s insistent that it’ll help somehow.”

For once in a long while you both exchanged a look.

A tired, I-am-so-done-with-this-octopus look.

“Well, ground rules are simple. Go at him the same way the kids have been going at you. He’ll be defending as if you were an assassin. Hope you’re ready for a new hairstyle.”

“Alright...” you stretched for a moment and then Karasuma offered you something in his outstretched hand, “What is?”

“You don’t have to use it this session.” Karasuma said, looking you over, “But it might be a good idea for future combat lessons.”

In his hand was a knife. Not an anti-sensei knife or a real knife but a wooden knife.

“Once you’re good with that we’ll upgrade you to the real thing.”

“What?!” you looked at him in surprise, “I don’t want-”

“I think that the Okinawa mission proves that we could use extra hands in the event one of us is out of commission. The children did very well but I wasn’t comfortable with that lack of contingency plans.”

You heard a chuckle from the octopus, “Of course, I had  _ several  _ but I understand the concern.”

Karasuma looked more than done with him but looked back to you, “You don’t have to learn to  _ kill _ . But you have to learn defense and you might have to learn to injure or subdue for the children’s sake.”

You looked over at the kids, stretching and getting ready for drills.

Takaoka’s crazed face came to mind.

How on edge, how helpless you’d felt during each fight…

You took a breath, settling yourself. Karasuma was right. You didn’t have to learn to _ kill _ .

But you  _ had _ to learn how to fight.

“Alright.”

You accepted the blade.

The octopus was delighted, green stripes out in force and his signature laugh filled the air.

This was going to be… something.

“When do we start?”

“You already have,” Karasuma said, stepping back.

“Wha-”

You ducked at Okano flung a kick at you.

“Oh, did we neglect to mention that the children will still be trying to kill you?” Korosensei sounded thrilled.

Motherfucker.

You rolled out of the way of Okano as another foot came flying down at you. As you hopped up, Terasaka charged at you and you stumbled backward, directly into an amused octopus. He smirked down at you, “Well?  _ This _ seems like an opportune time to strike.”

You stared at him in surprise. Before you could even swing he vanished which made you tumble nearly face planting into the dirt. You heard the sounds of running and jumped up, blocking as Okano threw another kick your way.

She grinned at you, “Nice nails.”

Wha-

Son of a bitch. Your nails had been filed, polished and painted…

In fucking green and yellow stripes.

With little octopi stickers on them.

Yep. No dignity lef-

You jumped out of the way as Terasaka flung himself at you again.

“Not even going to  _ try _ to attack me?” Korosensei practically pouted, “Why, Reader, I thought you  _ cared! _ ”

Oh, this  _ motherfucker _ .

Was this payback for yesterday’s teasing?

Terasaka grabbed you from behind. This time throwing your head back did nothing. He apparently learned from last time. Instead, you hooked one leg back around his and elbowed him in the ribs. He grunted but didn’t move, “I can take a hit from Itona, you think that’s gonna-”

Fucking FINE then. You yanked your leg forward, throwing yourself backward.

The kid might be built like a brick shithouse but balance was not his strong suit.

He went down hard, your weight on him making him gasp, breathless. He let go and you jumped to your feet. Your initial instinct was to check to make sure he was okay but-

_ You can’t do that right now, Reader. _

You blocked one of Okano’s kicks, grabbing her leg and throwing her off balance. She also dropped to the dirt. Okay, two down-

You rounded on the octopus and started the most frustrating game of whack a mole you’d ever played.

There was  _ no _ hitting him.

He laughed at your attempts, your hair was coiffed and styled, you found yourself with a face full of makeup-

Motion-

_ Terasaka. _

You spun, throwing an arm up and clotheslining the boy.

_ Shit. _

You dropped down, checking on him, he was coughing but grinning, “Nice one, Doc.”

“You good?”

He nodded, “Give me five and be ready.”

You nodded in return and when you stood you saw Karasuma’s expression had shifted. He looked satisfi-

Now he looked annoyed again-

You felt a foot hit you in the back and you went sprawling into the dirt.

_ Fuck. _

_ Okano. _

You rolled across the ground out of the way of her attack only to find yourself looking up at the octopus. He chuckled, “Well, well, it seems you  _ do _ have a little fight in you after all.~”

You reached up, trying to grab a fistful of his fucking collar but of course he was gone before your hand even closed. You scrambled upright, wincing as Okano landed a hit on your thigh. Better there than your back though.

This was frustrating as hell and it was starting to piss you off.

How did they expect you to fucking  _ do _ this?

More motion-

You swung, entirely missing the octopus as he zipped backward, grinning hugely.

You threw yourself at him but he might as well have been a matador’s cape.

Okano came at you again.

Fucking hell.

You didn’t have time to  _ think _ .

You blocked as best as you could manage, pushing back to throw her off balance. As she stumbled back, his grin was in your face.

“Come now reader, you can do better than that.~” you swung at him.

He vanished. Okano ducked back from your swing.

_ Son of a bitch… _

What the fuck was his game?

He couldn’t hurt the kids of course. And he didn’t want to. But he was baiting you, working to get you riled up and ready to swing.

You knew he couldn’t easily be hurt so you’d throw your all into a hit aimed at him and if he timed it right… he could make sure you connected with one of them.

Was he trying to  _ help _ you win?

A kick knocked you off your feet and you scrabbled back along the ground.

Fucking hell you needed to learn to think AND move at the same time.

Okay. You ran, putting distance between you and Okano.

He wouldn’t try to help you win at something like this. That went against his rhetoric of not doing the work for the student.

Then again you were more than a student…

You blocked Okano again.

Okay, so he wasn’t helping you.

Then what was-

Another block. 

You backed up, circling to keep Okano from being able to just charge you directly.

You saw him over her shoulder, green stripes bright against the yellow, his grin sharp.

God this was pissing you off. You couldn’t think, you were one vs three. What was this supposed to  _ accomplish? _

When Okano swung her next kick at you you blocked and then pushed forward causing her to tumble backward. You rounded on this octopus. Taking a page from Nagisa’s book, you walked towards him.

Charging was easy to recognize. Terasaka did it constantly. Running indicated intent. Walking would most likely confuse or, in this case, amuse him.

You wouldn’t get a hit. You knew that. The kids were already on a whole other level than you and they’d been trying since the beginning of the year.

But getting _ close _ would be nice.

Not likely, but nice.

He smiled down at you, eyes narrowed, “Why, Reader, you look absolutely furious.”

You glared up at him, “This is stupid.”

He chuckled, “I think it’s quite a useful exercise.”

You took a swing at him and he was behind you, leaning over your shoulder, “After all...”

You rounded, trying to hit him. He simply moved to your other side, still leaning in with that grin, “If you haven’t noticed...”

Fucking GOD. You swung again and missed and then he was right in front of your face, “You get much braver when you’re angry.”

“Wha-” You didn’t have time to process what he’d said before Terasaka tackled you bodily into the dirt.

You rolled, kicking the boy off of you.

“What does THAT mean?” you yelled over to the octopus, ducking away from Okano, getting a glancing kick to your side.

Next to you, again-

You swung and he simply caught your hand, grin devilish, “What drives you to challenge those you know could end you?”

You yanked your hand back and swung again. He caught your hand again, “Well?”

“Fuck if I know!”

He laughed and flung you backward. You stumbled into Okano who took the opportunity to push you forward.

FUCKING HELL.

You rounded on her, swinging-

And made a solid connection.

The girl staggered back, rubbing at her jaw.

Shit.

“Alright, people, let's take five.” Karasuma said to your group.

You went to Okano immediately. Terasaka joined you both.

Okano was rubbing her jaw and laughing. Terasaka smirked at her, “Shoulda known better. They’re gonna start swinging at some point. Everyone does.”

“Hey at least I didn’t get head-butted like some people.” Okano grinned.

“I’m sorry, let’s get you check-”

She laughed, “Mx. Reader, it’s alright! I’m okay.”

You looked between the two of them for a moment.

Korosensei was suddenly leaning over your shoulder again, “You cannot tolerate injustice or bullying. It makes you angry. And when you’re angry you take on those that are instigating the trouble.”

“I do stupid shit when I’m angry.” you looked at him, “We’ve established this.”

“And look how well you did today,” he smirked.

You looked at Teraska and Okano again.

You’d been in such a panicked and pissed off state you hadn’t really been keeping score but you’d gotten hits on them more than once today…

Terasaka smirked at you, “Just like I told Nagisa. You can get angry, sure. But you gotta use it right.”

Well…

Fucking shit…

Terasaka gave you a glare, “You don’t gotta look like you never heard me say something useful before!”

You shook your head, “I’m just...”

“Coming down?” Okano nodded, “Yeaaaah, that happens.”

You knew it did but like, fuck.

Today was a trip.

A bottle of water was pressed into your hands and you looked up to see Karasuma.

“You need to rehydrate.”

“Thanks...”

“That was better.”

Well fuck…

“Thanks...”

“Be ready for another round in five.”

_ FUCK. _

You collapsed on the steps at the end of the day, hot, dirty, soaked, and covered in fucking products. Your nails were done, your eyebrows plucked, your hair gelled, makeup coating your face…

You felt like a god damn clown.

No fucking wonder the government wanted to kill him so bad.

“I see Doc’s finally getting in on the fight.” Karma was smirking down at you, “Pretty useless at it looks like.”

Great.

Fantastic.

JUST what you wanted right now.

“How did you expect it was going to go?! I can’t hit him!” you snapped at him.

Nakamura joined him, laughing, “Chill, Mx. Reader.  _ No one _ can hit the octopus.”

“Yeah.” Karma leaned back, hands in his pockets, “No need to get so worked up about it… I mean unless this is a lover’s quarrel. Got somethin’ you need to tell us?”

You rolled your eyes, “Shut up Karma.”

He chuckled and you heard the two of them head inside.

What a fucking day.

God you were sore.

“Nurufufufu~ Have you worn yourself out?”

You looked up at him with a glare, “Was this the  _ surprise _ you had in store for me?”

His expression softened a bit, “Not at all. Now, you did well.” he helped you up, “Go get cleaned up.”

You sighed, “Fine.”

In the bathrooms you were scrubbing the makeup off your face and rinsing the gel out of your hair when your phone pinged.

One new message…

From 🐙🎓

[When you’re ready to leave come outside.]

…

[What?]

[Well, as you surmised, this is an overnight stay.]

[What about the kids?]

[Given the amount of cosmetics I put on you I imagine you’ll be busy for long enough for them to leave.]

You bristled. 

[There are SIMPLER ways to get me to WAIT you know!]

[But those wouldn’t be nearly as fun!]

You pinched the bridge of your nose.

This fucker…

THIS was where you had chosen to lay your affections.

THIS FUCKER.

[Fine.]

Once you managed to get the majority of the makeup off of your face, you found that he was right. Pretty much everyone had left or was leaving.

You glowered at him and he simply grinned in response, “Shall we?”

“What?”

He took your arm gently, guiding you back again to the field.

“Are you going to make me run more drills?” you looked at him tiredly.

“Of course not!” he grinned down at you, “I simply wanted to make sure we’re not seen leaving together.”

You relaxed… but only slightly.

“Now… for your surprise.” he grinned and you were suddenly swept up, “I hope you don’t mind the overnight stay.”

“So long as this place has a proper shower or bath I’ll be fine.” you couldn’t bring yourself to be excited. You were wiped from the day’s events.

He took off and you watched the world pass below you.

What a fucking day…


	88. The Places We Pray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who cares if it's August in story? Have some winter cuddles. >:3

"Oh my God, it's freezing!" You said as he landed, “Where are we?”

It was blustering snow, a mountainside of sparse trees.

He chuckled just a bit, “Allow me to introduce you to my home.”

You looked up at him in surprise, "You live _ here _ ?"

"Well, more accurately, I live wherever I happen to set up house."

"Where is-"

He turned and you saw the home of the man who had once been the Reaper…

It was a huge yellow dome decorated in his signature smiling face.

Your irritation fucking evaporated.

It was so fucking ridiculous.

You laughed, " _ Oh my God? _ "

"Breathtaking, _ right? _ ~" he chuckled, "Now, let's get you inside and into a hot shower, hm?"

" _ Please. _ "

He strolled up to the grinning face and you realized that the teeth were, in fact, glass doors and windows. He swung it open and entered, shutting out the cold behind you.

You were unbundled from his robes and deposited in a bathroom with your pajamas laid out and towels on hand.

Ohhhh kay then…

You locked the door and stripped immediately. God, the drills had been awful…

You climbed into the shower and turned it on. Thank fuck. Hot water.

You closed your eyes for a long moment, just letting it run over you.

Not thinking about the fact that you were in his shower.

Or his house.

Nope. Not right now.

Right now was all about how fucking nice a hot shower felt…

You looked to the shower caddy and saw-

He’d fucking brought your stuff?

You shook your head with a laugh and washed yourself down, things finally catching up to you.

You were at his place…

…

You had no idea where it was because you’d spent the flight being frustrated with your performance today. Wherever it was it was freezing outside which was a little surprising...

Then again the guy had hung out on Everest without issue so you guessed the cold was less of an issue for him…

For the first time, you took a real look at your surroundings and lost your mind laughing.

The products that weren’t yours? All had his face on them. Branded with his name. What the fuck? How extra-

And that SHOWER curtain…

It matched your nails.

You looked at the green and yellow striped nonsense on your hands.

You’d have to get some nail polish remover later…

You peeked out into the bathroom itself. Two toothbrushes in a cup with another ridiculously labeled but legit-looking tube of Korosensei Toothpaste.

Your toothbrush was in another cup. Wait… did he use two brushes?

You shook your head and went back to focusing on the shower. You were spending the night. Plenty of time to check the place out…

As you left the bathroom, a blanket was instantly wrapped around your shoulders and a mug of hot chocolate was pressed into your hands. He guided you to the kotatsu in the open living room. A green blanket with yellow edges. 

Of course. 

Naturally. 

What a vain fuck.

Vanishing for a moment, he reappeared carrying a mug of his own. He sat beside you, a tentacle warmly encircling your waist. You realized he’d changed and chuckled. He was now wearing PJs adorned with his face that, comically, had a pant leg for each tentacle. What the hell was all this???

You leaned against him slightly taking in the place. The room was spacious and remarkably clean for someone who said their place was a wreck. There were a few shelves, one filled with books, the other displaying toys and figures, then there was a small entertainment center with a modest flatscreen TV, a fridge, there were some cabinets, an-

“You have an exercise bike?”

“Even a superhuman needs to work out.”

“Somehow I don’t believe you...”

“It also works well for charging the generator in a pinch.”

Oh…

Well, duh the place would be off the grid, wouldn’t it...

“So, this is your hideout, huh?” you smirked over at him.

He nodded.

It was like all of that cockiness from drills had just evaporated.

“Thought you said you weren’t sure about bringing me here.”

He glanced down at you, “Given the circumstances we’ve dealt with lately, I thought it might be prudent.”

“Circumstances?” you looked up at him.

His voice was soft, “Okinawa was an _ alarmingly _ close call.”

God…

How could you have been angry with him?

You snuggled closer to him, “You’re sure this is okay?”

He looked at you in surprise.

“I mean… I don’t want you to do anything because you feel like you’re forced to or because, you know, you feel like you have to.”

He chuckled and then laughed, one hand coming up to his face.

“What?!” you set your hot chocolate down, “What did I say?”

He smirked at you, green stripes on his face, “As if  _ you _ could force  _ me _ into anything!”

OH.

_ THAT’S HOW. _

You rolled your eyes and got on your knees, leaning in to look him in the eye, “You think I  _ can’t? _ ” you reached up, your fingers hooking into his collar and tugging him closer, “Bold words for someone so hooked on me.”

He went bright pink in surprise but when he spoke his voice had an edge to it, deeper than usual, “Of course not!  _ I _ , on the other hand,” the green stripes returned and you found yourself grabbed, lifted in tentacles, your face still close to his, “am  _ quite _ capable of doing  _ whatever I like _ with  _ you _ .”

OH

You felt your face go red but gave him a look, one hand brushing a tendril, “Oh? I thought these were  _ consentacles _ though?”

He  _ instantly _ sat you down, a look of genuine _ alarm _ coming across his face. He cleared his throat, “Ah, yes. I’m simply saying _ theoretically.. _ .”

That certainly didn’t _ feel _ theoretical and you  _ certainly _ hadn’t minded.

He’d gone quiet, his attention on his hot chocolate. A tinge of blue had entered his expression.

_ Shit. _

You’d overdone it.

“Reader, I’m sorry that was-”

You reached out, taking his hand, “It was fine.”

He looked at you, a trace of worry on his expression.

You just gave him a smile, “I told you I like your tentacles and honestly after the massage the other day and drills today I’m pretty sure you made your point that you can handle me however you’d like.”

He went neon pink, “That’s not- I- Reader, I assure you that I would never-”

You kissed him, “Relaaaax...” you cupped his cheek gently, “It’s okay.”

He still looked unsure but your touch seemed to help. You climbed across, sitting in his lap, your head against his chest. Tentatively, tentacles were wrapped around you.

You were a little astounded by how fast you’d just disabled the octopus given how he’d been all day.

“But… what I said...” you glanced up at him, “Seriously. I don’t want you to feel like you _ have _ to do something because of me.”

His gaze settled on your face, “That's very considerate of you.” his voice was gentle, “but I'm doing this because I want to. I’m  _ happy _ to get to share this with you.”

You gave a content sigh, relaxing at the reassurance. 

“SO.” you looked up at him, “Drills today.”

He went pink for a moment then green stripes, “I found them to be delightful!”

“Why do you always keep trying to get me to hit you?”

The stripes faded, he went pink, expression soft, “Karasuma is right. As we get closer to the deadline, there is a good chance that other professional assassins will try to come after me. You and the children will need to be able to both defend and fight.”

You… hadn’t thought about that but it was true. You’d run into three assassins on Okinawa after all. And-

“Wait, the government is offering a reward to the kids… and pretty much anyone?”

He nodded.

It made sense but for some reason, it hadn’t really occurred to you. So much of the classroom had been insular that you hadn’t really thought about it.

“Why?” he smirked, green stripes back, “Thinking of trying your hand?”

You snorted, “Fuck that.”

He laughed.

“Even if I _ wasn’t _ a pacifist. After today’s nonsense?” you took a sip of your hot chocolate, “There is  _ no _ way in hell.”

He only laughed harder, “But it did help you. Karasuma said you did much better. Perhaps you just needed the proper motivation.~”

“Yeah, yeah...” you put a hand on his face to cover the stripes, “I get it.”

He chuckled and tipped your head up, kissing you softly, “I understand that it was frustrating for you, but it was delightful to see you in action.”

You felt your face heat up, “You like seeing me flail around like a fish out of water?”

“Nonsense!” he nuzzled you, “I like seeing you learning! You might not see it but you’ve come a long way from the beginning of this year.”

“Little hard to think about when I’m getting body slammed by 15-year-olds.”

He chuckled, “The nature of learning is that one must fail.”

“I knoooooow.” you sighed, sinking in his lap a bit, “It’s just hard to remember.”

He brushed a hand over your hair, “You’ll get the hang of it.”

“How do the kids do it every single day with you?” you looked up at him.

“Their youth and enthusiasm I’m sure. You certainly get enthusiastic about things, you’re just not very enthusiastic about fighting. Thus why harnessing your anger is a much better tactic to get you to learn.”

You took a long sip of your hot chocolate, “I can’t really argue cause it worked...”

He gathered you a bit closer, kissing your forehead, “I do enjoy seeing you grow. It’s fascinating.”

Fuckin hell.

You’d had the hell beaten out of you, he’d mocked you all day, and now this…

What a fucking paradox of an idiot you were dating.

And yet…

Even with all of that?

You closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat, “You’re wonderful.”

A hand reached up, brushing your hair back, “As are you...” he suddenly perked up, “I’ll have to give you a tour once you’ve finished your drink!”

You laughed a bit, “How did you set all of this up anyway?”

“Oh, it’s simple. Modular housing has come a long way after all and setting up solar or wind electric generation is quite simple really.”

“I thought you said you had a generator?”

“Backups are always a wise choice.” he grinned, “Why have one power source when you could have many? It’s simple..”

“Wind, solar, and octopus powered?  _ That’s _ simple?” you laughed.

Green stripes, “Well, for me of  _ course _ it is!”

“Oh my god you cocky bastard.” you put your hand over his face, chuckling.

“It’s true.” he took a drink of his cocoa.

“Okay, so what do you do if you get found though?”

“Simple. I move house.”

“...you just move houses? Geez, how many do you have?”

“No, you misunderstand. I  _ move the house _ .” he grinned, eyes narrowing.

“What?” you looked at him.

“It’s modular for a reason after all.” he chuckled, “If required I can relocate quite comfortably in thirty minutes or so.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Nurufufufu~ Why don’t you think anyone’s been able to catch me? Of course, that’s only this house. I have many.”

Well, you guessed you could worry about him a _ bit  _ less then.

The dude could literally move in thirty minutes. Wait-

“You have… many?”

“All over the world actually. It’s helpful when researching or taking in the sights. I never have to pay for a hotel.”

You just stared at him for a long moment taking that in. He shifted, disconcerted by your stare.

“You never stop surprising me.”

A blush colored his cheeks and he chuckled, “Well, thank you, Reader.”

You reached over, taking your mug from the table and taking a drink. He shifted and you noticed he was pink when you leaned back against him.

_ Cute. _

“When did you set this place up?”

“The first week of my transformation.”

“...The first week?”

“I thought that staying at the schoolhouse after hours would put me a  _ bit _ more at risk. And, as cozy as a tunnel in the mountain was, I would much rather have a proper home.”

“Do you just like it cold?” you looked up at him, curious.

“Nue?”

“Well, cause like… this place and Everest and you didn’t seem fond of the heat all summer...”

He chuckled, “I suppose I do tend to like it a touch cooler. A side effect of a high internal temperature I think.”

A touch cooler.

Just a touch.

Just a whole ass mountain of snow.

A _ touch. _

You sipped your drink, “You don’t have a stove or-”

“I do quite well with a portable stove.”

“Those… little two-burner ones?”

He nodded, “I don’t need much more than that, the electric kettle, and the rice cooker.”

“You really do keep it cut down...”

“Have to be able to move quickly, after all.” he seemed…

Hm…

You weren’t entirely sure you believed him about that… he seemed a bit panicky.

“So, I thought you said your place was a mess.” you eyed him.

“I’ve had plenty of time to clean since then!” his voice pitched up in panic.

You laughed and downed the rest of your cocoa, “You were going to give me a tour?”

He chuckled and you found yourself set gently on your feet, “Let’s do that. As you can see this is the living area. As I mentioned I keep the kitchen small.”

You looked to either side, “There’s doo- Why is there a dresser in front of that door?”

Instant panicked octopus, “Ohnoreasonthat’sjuststorage! Let me show you the library!”

You were hustled into the hall, past the bathroom you’d showered in. You could see another door leading outsi-

“Your face is on both sides of the house?”

“Of course!” he grinned, opening a door to the right, “This is the library.”

You were greeted with a room with one curved wall, every inch of the wall space was covered in bookshelves.

“Holy shit.”

He chuckled, “I always wanted a library of my own as a child.”

You skimmed the titles. Books in all languages. Books of all kinds. Encyclopedias, textbooks, children’s books, novels, one whole wall was dedicated to medical books…

The only gap was a section of wall where the upward curve of the smiling window let in light. Below it was a window seat with a red cushion, a few ridiculous romance novels stacked on it.

In the middle of the room was a low table with two cushions, one on either side.

“This is amazing...” you shook your head, “And you can move in  _ thirty minutes? _ ”

His grin sharpened.

“Nevermind, don’t answer that. I’ve seen more than enough green stripes today.”

He laughed and guided you back out of the room to the corridor, “The entry hall, which you’ve seen.” he opened the door across from the library. It led to a small space with a spiral staircase and another door, which he opened, “This is the guest bedroom.”

It was small but cozy with a futon already laid out, a dresser, and other simple amenities.

“You get guests a lot here?”

“Well, no… you’re the first person I’ve had over actually.”

You looked at him for a moment.

Shit…

It must get really lonely up here…

“Soooo am I staying in there tonight or do I get to sleep with you?”

He went neon pink, “Ah- well! Itisanoptionbutifyou’dliketostaywithme-”

You laughed, “Of course I would.”

His expression softened and he led you up the staircase. You noticed that it also descended to a floor below…

How many floors was this place?

When you reached the top you lost your mind laughing, “OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS?”

“What?” he grinned at you, “It’s a hallway.”

Lining the hall on the left were photos. Photos of the kids, the school, you, and at the end of the hall was a ridiculous painting of him, classical portrait style, framing a statue.

A fucking  _ statue _ .

Of the octopus.

“ _ Just _ a hallway?” you looked over at him.

“I’ve decorated it with some of my favorite things, of course...”

The right wall was glass and well lit.

Showcasing a room full of greenery.

He opened the door, leading you inside.

“What-”

“My greenhouse. It saves quite a bit when you grow your own fruits and vegetables.” he gestured to various potted plants, “Though I also have herbs and medicinal plants.”

The room smelled like soil and growth, “How do you keep them alive?”

“Sunshades!” he pressed a button and a portion of the roof’s outer layer moved back, allowing sunlight, what little there was, to permeate the room through a window, “And sun lamps. Other houses I have are better equipped but this does nicely. I keep most of the plants on an automated watering schedule to keep them cared for while I’m not here.”

One of his tentacles delicately cupped a leaf.

“That’s… really cool.”

He grinned over at you, pink entering his cheeks, clearly pleased.

He led you out into the hall again and opened the door across from the greenhouse revealing his bedroom. There was a circular rug in the center of the floor, sporting his face of course. A few display cabinets and shelves of toys, board games, and other entertainment items. And on one side a full vanity stocked with makeup was situated. You looked at it for a long moment and looked back at him.

“What?” he gestured to himself, “Do you think I just wake up looking this amazing?”

You laughed, shaking your head and then noticed...

There were also doors on either side of the room.

“Where do those go?”

“More storage.” he chuckled.

Your eyes settled on a space at the top of the bed. There were the bear and octopus plushies you'd given him.

That was fucking  _ adorable. _

"You sleep with them?" You gestured.

Neon pink, "Well, it  _ does _ get a bit lonely…"

You chuckled and looked around the room for a moment, “I almost expected something  _ more _ ridiculou-”

You paused, looking at the ceiling.

INSTANT panicked octopus noises.

Above one section of the room where his futon was currently laid out, the ceiling was covered in pinups and photos.

You turned to him with a smirk. He looked mortified, “Iforgottotakethosedown!”

Leaning in, you grinned, slooooowly moving his hands from his face, “So you just… have those up when I’m not here? What else did you fix up before I came?”

His face went bright pink and then stark white, expression blank, “Nothing.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” you kissed his face and went over, looking up at the pin-ups, “What an  _ interesting _ selection you hav- Is that  _ me? _ ”

He gave a shriek.

“Oh my God, it IS me. That’s the kigurumi picture I sent you!”

He rushed across the room and the photos instantly vanished, tucked away somewhere out of sight you were sure, “Reader, I can explain!”

You laughed, “You don’t have to. It’s cute.” You patted his cheek and went to look one of the shelves he had.

One shelf was NOTHING but board games and cards. Connect 4, Uno, Monopoly, Candyland, Clue, Battleship, Scrabble, Operatio-

That was a fucking custom game of operation.

With him as the fucking guy on the table.

Oh my god.

That was just a few of the ones you recognized offhand. There were several games you’d either never heard of or heard of in passing too; Stratego, Risk, Backgammon, Carcassonne, Ticket to Ride, a baseball board called 3D ACE…

You shook your head a bit, “Who do you play with if you don’t have people over?”

“Myself,” he said simply.

Oh my God, that was so sad?

“You… play board games with yourself?”

He nodded, “Though I have brought them in a time or two for the students.”

“We should have a game night sometime.”

You had  _ never  _ seen a more excited octopus, “That’s an excellent idea! Oh, there’s so many I’ll have to show you!”

You laughed a bit, “Guess that means I’m definitely coming back huh?”

He went bright pink, “I would like that...”

You went over to him, pulling him down into a kiss, “Of course.”

“So, I imagine you’d like some dinner?”

“That sounds amazing.”

He chuckled, “Come along then, let’s get you fed.”

Cooking seemed to take him no time at all. Much the same way that it was at your place, he worked at the counter in the main room off of a hot plate using multiple tentacles to prepare things at once. It was fascinating to watch. He was chopping beef, vegetables, carrots, you noticed he’s procured some herbs from the cupboard…

How he managed to do it all at once was baffling to you.

You had no idea what he was cooking exactly. Some sort of rice dish? It smelled lovely though.

You felt a bit out of place sitting at the kotatsu awkwardly, “Is there anything I can do?”

“No, no, I’ll be done here in a few moments.” he chuckled.

You eyed the door with the dresser in front of it and then the door across the way.

Hm…

You glanced back at him, he seemed pretty invested in what he was doing…

Maybe you could snoop a bit…

After all… he’d apparently poked around  _ your _ apartment.

Quietly, you got up and meandered back towards the bathroom sneaking up the stairs. Ducking into his bedroom you approached one of the closets, opening it just a bit-

An avalanche of stuff teetered behind the door, bags, games, toys, magazines- 

You didn’t have time to take it all in because you shifting it had caused the whole thing to topple forward-

And suddenly it was back in place and the door firmly shut.

A very panicked octopus was in front of you, “Reader! What are you doing?!”

You looked up at him, challenging, “You snooped through my place  _ and  _ my notes.”

He opened his mouth for a moment in surprise, clearly ready to shoot back a response before realizing he didn’t really have an excuse.

“Dinner is ready, come on...” he waved you downstairs and vanished in a rush, meeting you there with a bowl of steaming rice, meat, and veggies and a sour look.

You took a seat and gave him a smile, “What? You think I haven’t cleaned like that before? Dude you saw my apartment when I was sick.”

He shifted, clearly embarrassed.

“It’s fine, I promise. I’m not going to judge you for packing stuff away… little surprised at how many toys you have though.” you smirked just a bit, “You’re just a big kid most of the time. I really should have seen it coming.”

He went a deeper pink, “Yes, well… not all of the locations in the house are blocked off for embarrassment. The basement, particularly, is for your own safety.”

“My own safety?” you looked at him in surprise.

He nodded, “I’ll show you after dinner.”

“What is this anyway?” you asked, picking up your spoon.

“Plov.”

“Plov?” you looked up at him, curious.

“It’s a rice pilaf dish from Uzbekistan.”

You took a bite. It was warm, rich, savory, and delicious. Perfect for a cold day.

He looked across at you, amused as usual, “You like it I take it.”

“It’s good!” you paused, “Man I wish I had half of your cooking knowledge.”

“Well, this one is an old dish. One of the first ones I learned, actually.”

Before or after his transformation, you wondered...

You looked at him for a long moment but he didn’t seem inclined to say more on the topic.

You turned your attention to your food, “So… why is the basement dangerous?”

“It’s where I do my research,” he replied around a bite.

“Research?”

He grinned, eyes narrowing, “Well, I’m not always on Everest, after all.”

“You mean you train for the kids here?”

“All of my houses are equipped for it. Of course, that does mean that I have weapons, poisons, and other dangerous substances. Thus-” he pointed at you, face going purple with an X on it, “Why the basement is off-limits.”

You nodded, chewing. It made sense.

“So… what about the other rooms? Just more stashed away trash?”

He went neon pink, “YES.”

You squinted at him, “For some reason, I don’t believe you.”

“WhywouldIlieabouttrash?!”

You smirked, “So you’re saying if I went and opened that door over there,” you pointed to the door with the dresser in front of it, “All I would find it trash.”

He sputtered, making excuses.

You grinned at him, “You gave me nothing but hell, all day. I think that deserves  _ some _ payback so, how about after dinner you give me a REAL house tour?”

“Reader I-”

“I mean how bad can it be? You have a tantric sex dungeon? Maybe a beautiful mind room of people you’ve killed?”

His tentacles waved frantically, “NO! ITS NOTHING LIKE THAT!”

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem.”

He looked at you for a long moment and sighed, “Reader… I...”

Shit.

Too much.

“Hey, hey if you don’t want to show me it’s okay.” you took another bite, “I’m mostly just giving you a hard time.”

He shifted a bit and returned to eating.

When you’d both finished, he led you to the basement. Like the second floor, this one had a hallway stretching the length of it, though it was quite more utilitarian than the second floor.

“On the right,” he opened the door revealing several machines and tanks, “Is the house’s utilities. Water, generators, and the like.”

Damn…

That was impressive actually…

He shut the door and opened the one across from it carefully, “And this… is my research room.”

You weren’t sure what you had been expecting but it wasn’t your students.

Cutouts of the students lined the walls, high res photos of them blown up to life-size with their guns drawn. Everywhere you looked were the kids.

“What is-”

“It helps me to keep in the mindset,” he put out a tentacle, stopping you from going forward, “Careful.”

He pressed a tentacle on a button on a far wall and you jumped as the floor fell open into a pitfall trap. The recorded sound of the classroom’s gunfire went off at the same time.

“What the hell?”

“I don’t do well with surprises or drops.”

“You can fly though?”

“Yes. But, as the children have realized, when I’m thrown off guard I slow down and tend to panic. It can be troublesome. This has been training to help desensitize me. The trap is set on a random timer generally so I never know exactly when it will drop. 

You looked around the rest of the room, curious, and were astounded.

The sheer _ amount _ of weaponry he had was alarming.

Even more so was that you were sure he was testing them on  _ himself. _

He looked down at you, “You can see why this isn’t exactly something I wanted to show you...”

After Everest you could see why but…

“I want to know these things about you.” you looked up at him, “You... ” how did you put this…

He guided you out, shutting the door. As you both ascended the steps, you found your words again.

“You’re alone outside of the classroom. I… didn’t really realize how much.”

He faltered as you reached the first floor again.

“The kids see one side of you… but that’s not all of you.” you took his hand gently, “I love all of you and… I think it’s important that someone knows you before...”

He paused, looking down at you. Suddenly you were swept up in his arms, his lips on yours. You made a startled sound and laughed slightly into the kiss, “I love you.”

“I love you too...” he set you down gently, “I worry it will change your view of me...”

You laughed, “Like I said if it’s not some super weird kinky sex dungeon or murder hole I’m probably not going to be phased.”

He gave a small nod and lead you back down to the main room. The dresser was quickly moved aside and he stood by the door like a man about to be put to death.

You looked at him, “It’s okay...”

He nodded and opened the door for you, a neon pink.

There were a lot of things you were expecting.

What you saw? Was _ not _ it.

It wasn’t a large room. Probably big enough for him and maybe one other person but it would be a tight squeeze.

But that wasn’t the remarkable thing about the room.

Oh no.

The room was literally PAPERED in pin up magazines. Absolutely covered. Floor, walls, ceiling, even the back of the door. Girls of all colors, nationalities, and body types with one factor in common.

Huge tits.

You couldn’t help it, you laughed. He slammed the door and looked at you, panicked, “I promise it’s not what it looks like!”

You just laughed harder.

THIS was what he was worked up about?

Sure it was weird but like… Fuck, you’d seen this guy sitting on a PILE of porn magazines before why the hell was he panicking so hard??

“What? So it’s not a room dedicated to your spank bank?”

He flailed and began incoherently screeching and ranting.

You laughed harder and had to take a moment to recover. Reaching out, you grabbed one of his flailing limbs, wiping tears from your eyes. He was covering his face with his hands. Bright magenta.

“Hey,” you were still chuckling as you reached up, pulling his hands from his face, “Hey, hey…” he looked at you with the most worried expression you’d ever seen and you couldn’t help but giggle, “It’s alright. Look, this isn’t nearly as odd as tit mountain. It’s still odd but like… I mean, you collect these things so...” you shrugged, “I’m surprised  _ this _ is what you’re freaking out about.”

He was still absolutely horrified, “I just happen to find the female form very attractive and-”

You laughed, “You don’t have to explain yourself. I know you’re a perv.”

“READER!”

Nuzzling him, you kissed his face, “I cannot stress to you enough that it’s okay. Hell, I expected a stash of some kind. Figured it’d be in a filing cabinet or something.” you chuckled, “SO, is that what’s in the other room too?”

He went from instant fretting to a somber expression, “No...”

You paused, “What is it?”

Quietly, he lead you to the other door, opening it. It was the same size as the previous room but it was cozier.

Before you sat a small… altar? Shrine? You weren’t sure…

It wasn’t exactly a traditional one for sure.

But the intent was there.

A photo of Aguri, one you recognized from her social media of her wearing one of her ridiculous shirts and looking happy. Incense burners sat to either side of the photo, a cushion was placed before it on the floor and the walls were hung with curtains.

You turned to look at him. His expression was sober. You gave him a gentle smile and reached out a hand to him, “No wonder you were alright with me visiting her...”

The tension in his body receded and the look he gave you was grateful. You gave his hand a squeeze and looked back at the photo, “Thank you for watching over him, Ms. Yukimura.” you gave a small bow, “I’m glad he has you here with him.”

You felt him squeeze your hand gently and you followed him, the door shutting quietly. You looked up at him with a gentle smile and found yourself pulled close to his chest. You buried your face in his front. He nuzzled you softly and you looked up at him. His voice was soft, “Reader… thank you.”

“For what?” you laughed a little bit, “Loving you?”

“Yes.”

You pulled him in for a kiss, “Then thank  _ you _ .”

His expression softened further and for a moment the two of you stood holding one another. Finally you peeked up, “I think we both had a stressful day...”

“Agreed.”

“And I’m stiff as hell.”

He looked at you clearly trying to sort out where you were going with this.

“Okay, after all that shit you gave me today? You  _ owe _ me a massage.”

He went bright pink, “Well, yes! Of course!”

You laughed softly, “Alright well, where should we-”

And suddenly you were face down in soft blankets that smelled like old books and summer rain.

“You could’ve warned me...” 

You heard his telltale laugh and then felt your body being pushed, rolled, and kneaded. It was slow, gentle, and soothing as hell. You practically melted into the futon. After all of the nonsense of the day, it felt fucking amazing.

When he’d finished you sat up and looked over at him. He was pink, sitting at the bottom of the futon almost as if he was trying to put distance between you. Reaching out, you tugged him forward so that he fell across your lap. He yelped in surprise, “Reader?! What are you doi-”

He cut off with a gasp and moan as you began to work your hands gently against his muscles.

He’d freaked out when you’d been on top of him while working on his back but this way was a bit simpler and might let you actually return the favor without scaring him. You scooted back just a bit so that your back was against the wall, him laying perpendicularly across your lap. It gave him space and also put you under him. It seemed to work...

Tentacles reached out and grabbed his pillow, pulling it to him so he could bury his face in it.

_ Cute _ .

You kept kneading and rolling at the muscles of his back. Muffled sounds of one  _ very _ happy octopus came from the pillow. You found a spot that was particularly tense, working your palm against it. He gasped suddenly and you saw his tentacles tighten reflexively around the pillow.

“Ohhh Reader,  _ there... _ ”

You worked your hands against it a bit harder and were rewarded with more moans, a few dipping lower than you expected. He shuddered a bit, burying his face in the pillow again.

Not just cute.

_ Hot. _

Hot as _ hell. _

He was clinging to the pillow for dear life now, shuddering as you kneaded your hands against him.

Damn that was nice to see.

It also made you feel… well… 

Trusted.

He had no reason to let his guard down around anyone. No reason to open up to anyone.

But he was doing that for you.

And you wanted to make sure it gave him nothing but joy.

And from the sounds he was making at this moment? You were definitely succeeding.

The shuddering has stilled and now you simply had one very floppy octopus across your lap. 

He looked up at you, clearly trying to catch his breath, "That… Oh, _ Reader _ … I don't have words for how good that feels…"

He looked content, his skin pale pink with brighter spots on his cheeks.

You chuckled, "Well, I didn't get to finish it up the other night. Thought you might need it."

He let out a trembling sigh and nodded, "It was exquisite. Thank you."

You laughed a bit, running a hand over his back gently, "Anytime, Cuddle Fish."

You kept petting him, your hand skating along the contours of his back.

He practically purred.

_ Cute… _

The soothing motion and warm weight across your lap had you slowly drifting off.

It had been a long day…

You woke up to tentacles gathering you up and laying you gently on the futon. He laid next to you, clearly trying not to wake you.

Once he was settled, you rolled to face him.

You cuddled up to him your lips finding his neck, one hand skating over his chest, trailing down to his stomach. There was a faltering breath from him and he took your hand in his, preventing it from trailing along any further.

Oh…

He rolled onto his side, facing you, and drew you in close against his chest, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Maybe he just wasn’t up for being sensual tonight… 

The massages had been a lot...

You hoped the fight didn’t have him on edge or something. Maybe it had put him on alert?

You hoped not.

You squirmed up, nuzzling his face. There had been a small line of worry on his brow which vanished as you did so.

“You’re adorable,” you whispered, kissing the center of his face.

He practically melted, nuzzling you in return, “So are you...”

You buried your face in his chest.

The house was quiet as he flipped off the lights. The soft sounds of snow brushing against the dome as it slid down the sides, the distant hum of the house's generators keeping time like a pulse, the soft sounds of automated misters from the greenhouse…

All a soft breath of life in this cold wasteland of a place.

Like the warm breath stirring your hair above you.

Or the gentle beat of his heart, pulling you back to sleep...


	89. Matsuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for Crimmus!

You woke up in unfamiliar surroundings. Where…

A tentacle pulled you closer and you remembered.

You were at his place.

With a content sigh you buried your face into his front.

It felt like a winter morning, the house cozy, warm, the muted sounds of the world outside softened by snow.

Hard to believe it was August. You couldn’t exactly escape the tentacles around you right now, so you settled for laying back, stroking his head gently as you looked around the room.

You hadn’t noticed before but he had photos of you and the kids in here too…

The kids during drills.

Him and Hara making curry.

Kurahashi excitedly showing the two of you the bugs she’d collected.

Images of the kids studying.

Okuda with a failed experiment, slightly singed. He stood behind her, also singed.

Hayami at a pet shop with kittens.

The kids running along the beach at Okinawa.

Photos of the two of you at Tomita farm.

That photo of you right after trying lavender ice cream…

You guys were practically his family…

You looked down at him, his mouth slightly open, slack, grin replaced with a state of quiet slumber.

God…

You loved him.

Gently, you kissed his forehead. His eyes opened slowly, going pink as he realized you were there. 

“Morning, Cuddle Fish.”

There was something to his expression… a softness, a quiet.

“What? Does my bed head make you speechless?”

He chuckled, kissing you, “I had just…” he shook his head lightly, “I haven’t slept in this bed since I made it.”

You looked at him in surprise, “You mean like… really sleeping right?”

He nodded, “It only seems to happen with you.”

You had no words…

Gently, you pulled him close, kissing him.

When you parted, you looked him in the eyes, “I’m honored...“

The two of you laid there for a while, just enjoying the soft warmth and quiet company.

“Mmmm… we should get going.” he murmured against your shoulder.

“Why?” you chuckled, “Got pressing business somewhere?”

“Actually...” he peeked up at you, “I thought of a surprise for the children as well.”

“Yeah?”

“There’s a local festival happening today since it’s the end of summer.”

…

The end of summer…

Had the time gone by so quickly?

“I thought that we could all meet up there together!” his grin quirked up, “One last bit of summer fun before it’s back to work!”

“That sounds like a blast.”

“Then we should get going!”

You laughed, “Gotta let me go to do that, Cuddle Fish.“

He smirked, green stripes in place, “No I don’t.”

He rose up, still holding you.

“Oh my god.” you were laughing as he carried you downstairs.

Today was already off to a great start.

After showering, having breakfast, and brushing your teeth (where you found that yes, he did use both toothbrushes, at the same time actually) you were ready. 

One quick trip found you back at your apartment. He was looking a touch frantic, “I’ve been texting the children and no one’s responded yet.”

You laughed, “It’s like… what? Nine AM? Give ‘em time.”

He was wringing his hands, “I think I’m going to make a quick trip out to invite them in person. That sounds reasonable doesn’t it?”

“Relax...” you took his hands gently, “Give them an hour or so and then see if you get a response.”

He still looked worried.

Why was he so worked up about thi-

The end of summer…

Before getting back to work…

This was his last summer…

You gave him a smile, “Okay, how about this, you go round up the kids. I’ll message in their class chat and let them know that you-”

“There’s a class chat?”

“...yeees?”

Melodramatic tears poured down his cheeks, “And I wasn’t INVITED?”

You laughed, “Ohhhh my god. They talk plans in there. I’ll let Ritsu know there should be a chat with you. How does that sound?”

He was still crying ridiculous tears and you kissed his face, “ANYWAY, I’ll message the class chat and let them know you invited me and that you want everyone to come. Okay?”

He nodded, “We can all meet up at seven PM at Kununigaoka Station.”

“Alright.” you kissed him again, “I’m sure they’re going to love to come.”

He softened at that, slightly reassured, “I’ll stop by to pick you up.”

You nodded, “Go get ‘em.”

And just like that, he rocketed off.

God…

You loved this idiot…

You checked out your phone 

T2N0b3B1cyBCYWxscw==: Hey guys, Korosensei is apparently trying to round up people for a festival tonight? If you wanna come the meet up is Kununigaoka Station, 7 PM.

T2N0b3B1cyBCYWxscw==: ...what has happened in here?

T2N0b3B1cyBCYWxscw==: Did Ritsu get hacked or something?

QmFzZWJhbGwgQm95: Ritsu went mad with power.

QmxvbmRlU2Nhcnk=: Yeah she realized she could just change anyone’s name however she wanted.

UmVkU2Nhcnk=: Think she got the idea from me. 

Um9ib3QgT3ZlcmxvcmQ=: I thought it would be fun to change everyone’s names to a language only I understand!

T2N0b3B1cyBCYWxscw==: Ok… well uh… festival is tonight. So could you give everyone a heads up?

Um9ib3QgT3ZlcmxvcmQ=: Sure thing!

UmVkU2Nhcnk=: Thanks for the heads up, now I can mess with him if he asks me directly.

T2N0b3B1cyBCYWxscw==: Be nice… whoever you are…

Q3V0aWU=: It’s Karma.

QWJzb2x1dGVseSBYWQ==: Hey guys, Korosensei just showed up at the sushi place my dad and I were at.

QWJzb2x1dGVseSBYWQ==: …

QWJzb2x1dGVseSBYWQ==: What is going on?

Q3V0aWU=: Read up in the chat.

TWVhbmll: What horseshit is this?

Q3V0aWU=: Read the chat.

Um9ib3QgT3ZlcmxvcmQ=: Don’t be mean! I’m having fun! (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Q3V0aWU=: Yeah, be nice. You have to admit this is pretty clever.

It was cute to see Ritsu embracing her robotic aspects…

Even if you had NO idea who anyone was.

T2N0b3B1cyBCYWxscw==: Oh, also, Ritsu, Korosensei wants to be in a chat with everyone. He feels left out.

QmxvbmRlU2Nhcnk=: Yeah?~ How do you know? Spending some quality time with him?

T2N0b3B1cyBCYWxscw==: He… texted me? About the festival? I told him I’d tell the chat?

UmVkU2Nhcnk=: Gonna have to try harder than that Nakamura. They’re getting tolerant.

Um9ib3QgT3ZlcmxvcmQ=: I can make an alternate chat for the purpose!

T2N0b3B1cyBCYWxscw==: Thanks. See you guys at the festival!

With him gone and that done you busied yourself with a small task. Something you’d been thinking about since your visit to his place. The thing he seemed to lack most was company. That you could handle. You were happy to visit anytime. But you wanted to give him something for his place.

And that little pin-up dream board nonsense on his ceiling had you thinking.

You dug around in your closet looking for something suitable for what you were planning.

What would he like…

Something tasteful but still a little racy maybe?

You laughed, pulling out an item.

Fuck, it was going to be hot as hell given the heat but it would be really cute.

You stripped down, tugging on the oversized sweater. It had been a gift from a friend online who had completely botched the sizes so it enveloped you like a tent. Made for great winter sleeping but not so much in the summer…

You went to the mirror, looking yourself over. It ended just at your thighs and the neck was wide enough to show the slopes of your shoulders. The sleeves ended at the tips of your fingers.

_ Perfect. _

Normally you’d be embarrassed as hell taking this photo but the idea of his reaction was too much, it would be hilarious.

You set your phone camera up on a timer and sat on your knees on a blanket, trying to emulate a pose you’d seen not just in his collection. On your knees looking sheepishly at the camera, one shoulder bared, legs slightly out to the side. As far as was comfortable anyway.

Perfect. Not too much showing but enough to be… interesting?

You hoped?

You took several photos and when you’d finally settled on one, you changed back to your outfit for the day.

Now… how to present it…

You  _ could  _ just send it to him… but how much fun would it be to give him a print?

But printing it meant…

Fuck it.

This could be your last year on Earth.

You could handle a few weird looks at Lawsons while using the printing machine.

Not long after, you were working on uploading your photos to the bulky self-service print machine in the shop. Once you had things uploaded you got a notification.

From 🐙🎓

[Reader I don’t think anyone is coming!  。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。 ]

Oh my god, melodramatic crying in the texts too now?

[Why?]

[Some of the kids have said they’re busy or that they -might- come.]

You laughed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

[I told the chat already. Ritsu is going to set up a chat for you too.]

[Did anyone confirm?]

[Not yet but I think Karma might come. OH, also Ritsu pulled a prank?]

[A prank?]

[Everyone’s names in the chat are in… something now. Like some sort of code?]

[Can you show me?]

[Yeah hang on...]

You took a screenshot, sending it to him.

[That is Base64.]

[Base64?]

[A way of representing binary data in an ASCII format. It makes it easier to encompass images and alternate characters. It also results in shorter strings of information.]

[Huh… Okay.]

[I’m so proud. That’s a clever move on her part.]

[Yeah, I’m glad she’s handling the class interaction so well.]

[So, Octopus Balls, huh?]

[IS THAT WHAT MINE SAYS?]

[  ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )  ]

[My name is never going to be anything but that in those chats, I swear.]

[OH? Is that your USUAL online handle?]

[Omfg no. The kids changed it after the nomikai.]

[ (￣ω￣) ]

[If you keep looking so proud of yourself I’m not giving you your surprise.]

[Surprise…?]

[You’re not the only one with secret surprises you know...]

[ (✧ω✧) When will I be getting this surprise?]

You burst out laughing at the face and shook your head.

[Soon. Can’t tell you when though.]

[  (´ ε ` ) But Reader…  ]

[No pouting. You did the same thing to me.]

[Touche. Well, I’m off to check in with Sugino.  ❤ See you tonight! ]

[ ❤ ]

You collected your print as quickly and discreetly as you could. A little difficult for something the size of a small poster but you managed. When you got home you stashed the poster in a tube, tucking it into your closet. You could give it to him later.

You spent the rest of the afternoon consoling a panicked octopus via text. He was absolutely convinced no one was coming no matter how much you reassured him. He’d even tried to invite Lovro and Karasuma. You could have told him that wasn’t happening…

When 6 PM rolled around he landed on your balcony, still clearly fretting. You laughed, hugging him, “Relax, they’ll come, okay?”

“I do hope so, it’s our last summer fling together!” he was sniffling slightly.

You laughed, “I mean… if no one does come is a festival date with me really that bad of a consolation prize?”

He went bright pink.

Clearly, someone hadn’t thought of  _ that _ particular outcome.

You checked the chat again, “Looks like some of the kids are heading to the station.”

“They are?!” he leaned over, excited, “Nagisa, I assume from the name, and Kayano.”

“You can read that?”

He looked at you in surprise, “Well, yes, it’s a simple conversion algorithm.”

You just looked at him blankly.

Green stripes and a chuckle were the reward for your lack of coding ability.

You rolled your eyes, “Let’s go!”

He laughed and scooped you up, “Let’s!”

He set you down at the stop before the station so as not to arouse suspicion from the kids. When you got off the train you found him happily chatting with the kids occasionally dodging swipes from Karma. The group was sizable, a little less than half the class looked like. Even Irina had come. The girls were all done up in colorful floral yukatas for the occasion, the boys in casual wear.

You joined them with a grin, “Hey guys.”

“Mx. Reader! Wonderful!” Korosensei grinned over at you, “Well, shall we?”

The kids were already a step ahead, immediately heading down the road. The walk to the shrine was casual, cheerful. The children chatted with one another. Yada seemed to be particularly close to Irina for the majority of the walk speaking to her almost conspiratorially.

You did a proper headcount on the way there. Twelve out of the twenty-six kids had come. Most were in pairs of small groups, mingling. Kayano and Nagisa hung back with Karma walking ahead of you and the octopus who were bringing up the rear.

The smell of frying foods, the sound of festival music, and the calls of happy voices heralded the way to the shrine. Lights were posted along the tops of bright red food and game stalls. Families and other townsfolk meandered about taking in the sights and experiences of the place.

Reminded you a bit of some of the carnivals you’d been to in the past.

There was a sigh from next to you and you looked over to the octopus.

“Excellent, excellent. Quite a few more of you showed up than I’d been led to expect. In the event that no one bothered to come, I was contemplating seppuku.”

You rolled your eyes at his drama.

Kayano laughed slightly, “Oh. Guess we really shouldn’t have showed up, huh?”

You shook your head and looked around. The children had split off a bit, checking out the games and such. 

“Hey, Doc!” Karma came trotting up to you with a grin, “Got you somethin’.”

He held out-

You gave him a look over the steaming basket of takoyaki he was offering you.

After a moment’s debate, you accepted it, “Funny. You’re lucky I like these.”

“Oh yeah, I know.” he smirked giving a wave as he walked off, “Enjoy.”

You eyed the takoyaki, suspicious.

It _ looked _ okay…

You took one with the provided pick and carefully took a bite.

Damn…

That was really good.

“Already?” the octopus was leaning in, smirking at you, “Of course that would be the first snack you go for.”

“Karma gave them to me.”

His eyes widened slightly, “Rather  _ brave _ to be eating anything that boy’s given you.”

You shrugged, “Seems fine so far.”

Nagisa and Kayano were exchanging a look but you ignored it. It was a nice night. You weren’t going to let a little ribbing about Octopus Balls bother you. You wandered along, Korosensei always staying close but not quite so close as to give the wrong impression to the kids. You found yourself by one of the game booths and were surprised to see Chiba and Hayami of all people participating in-

Oh…

It was a shooting gallery.

_ Of course. _

You popped another takoyaki in your mouth, watching.

They were cleaning up.

Then again, with this class you supposed they were well suited for it…

You snapped a photo or two with your phone. This was a night you’d like some shots for later.

Chances were the octopus would too.

You made your way down along the game booths. A lot of the kids were playing in them actually… and most of them were winning.

“Nurufufufu~”

You glanced over at your companion, “Proud of them I take it?”

“They’re very talented, our students.”

You laughed a bit, munching on another takoyaki. These things were great. You wondered which booth Karma had picked them up from…

You heard a sound of discontent. Chiba and Hayami had their arms filled with prizes, both looking put out.

Nagisa looked over, “Chiba… Hayami… What’s wrong?”

“We got banned from the shooting gallery,” Chiba said from behind the pile of model kits and game systems in his arms.

Hayami sighed, resting her chin on one of the plushies in her arms, “It was so easy, we got carried away.”

You chuckled, “Hey at least you were rewarded for it.”

Nagisa laughed a bit and your group’s attention was pulled to a familiar voice from across the aisle of booths.

Karma stood at a string lottery booth, a small notebook in hand, “Hey, mister...”

Oh, dear.

You knew THAT tone.

“So far I’ve only scored as high as fifth place on any of your games. Seeing as how that drives down the probability of winning fourth place or above to, hold on let me give you a concrete figure. Hey, how ‘bout that? 0.05. So, is there really a string attached to the jackpot prize? Maybe I ought to get a police officer over here to check!”

His voice was absolutely cheery.

He was having a  _ blast _ .

The vendor was frantically trying to defend himself while Karma made demands of him, extorting a game system from the guy.

Jesus.

“Karma sure is persistent...” Nagisa said, his voice holding the long-suffering quality that you assumed came with being Karma’s friend for years.

Persistent was… one way to put it.

“He knew from the start that there was no string attached to the jackpot, didn’t he?” Okajima was shaking his head.

Your class was terrifying.

You noticed a few of the girls hanging about joking and laughing together. Hinano was eating cotton candy, gesturing as she spoke. Kanzaki was laughing at something she'd said. Yada, meanwhile, was talking to Megu. They were both all smiles.

_ Hmmm… _

"Seriously, man, is there anything you can’t do?" You attention was drawn away by Maehara's voice.

He was watching Isogai deftly flipping goldfish out of a fishing game.

"There’s a knack to it. It’s a lot like slicing with a knife." Isogai grinned, pouring the rest of the fish into-

This boy had two bags  _ stuffed _ with goldfish.

There was no way those things were surviving a trip ho-

"That’ll do. When you’re poor you’re glad to get a whole meal for a hundred yen."

A meal?????

A MEAL??

"Sure." Maehara agreed, then froze. You locked eyes with the boy, both of you sharing a look of horror as you processed what Isogai had just said.

"Maybe a nice pan-fry…" Isogai, oblivious to your concern, was planning how to prepare his dubious meal.

You had to address this...

Not here though. You didn't want to embarrass the boy…

You sought out the octopus.

And found that he was missing.

Hm…

You popped another takoyaki in your mouth and pulled out your phone.

[Hey, where’d you go. Got a student issue.]

And like magic a flickering version of him appeared next to you…

In a complete change of clothes.

He was wearing a white bandana around his head, an orange one around his neck, a pale yellow shirt with a tiny orange octopus stitched on breast, black slacks, and a red apron. 

“What’s the trouble?” his voice was filled with concern.

“Did you know Isogai is catching goldfish to eat?”

He considered this for a moment, “No. A prudent move on his part but also concerning...”

“Also what the fuck are you wearing?”

“Oh, I’ve opened shop!” he gestured to…

Oh… my god.

You were looking at doppelgangers of your idiot running multiple food stalls.

You took a deep breath, setting aside the logistics of that particular bit of nonsense for now because the idea of cooking, handling money, and holding a conversation with you and customers was just…

God, just the idea gave you a headache.

“Okay… well, we need to talk about Isogai. I’m worried.”

“Naturally.” he nodded, “I’ve offered my assistance but the boy simply refuses.”

“What?”

“My greenhouses produce more than enough spare to help supplement but the boy’s pride has proven to be a sticking point for him.”

“...that’s stupid. I’m talking to him.”

“Reader, be gentle with him.”

“Has that worked yet?”

He faltered, surprised by your tone, “Some things have to be eased into.”

“And in the meantime he and his siblings starve. So no.”

He looked not quite happy about your response, “Reader, pushing too hard might cause the boy to dig in his heels.”

“I’m still talking to him.” you said sharply, “He needs help.”

He shook his head, “If that is the case, why did you need to confer with me?”

“I thought you might have some suggestions.”

“I have been working on that boy since the beginning of the year,” he said with a sigh. “Please, let me know how your conversation goes.”

He vanished abruptly.

You hoped that you hadn’t upset him but this was important. You stuffed another takoyaki in your mouth, going to find Isogai.

You located the boy watching Nagisa and Kayano winning at the current game they were playing.

“Isogai?” you leaned around the boy’s shoulder.

He looked back at you in surprise, “Oh hey, Doc! Having a good time?”

“We need to talk.”

He looked at you in surprise and you could see why it was that Korosensei was having issues being stern with the boy. He was looking at you with wide almost puppy dog eyes.

You drew him away from the others, "What's this I hear about you eating goldfish?"

"Oh they're just fine to eat!" He laughed, "I like marinating them in miso. The Chibis love it too."

"The… Chibis?"

"Oh," he laughed a bit, " yeah, sorry that's Mom's nickname for my brother and sister since they're still small…"

"Isogai…" you were losing your resolve. The boy was just… so…  _ chipper _ about it.

He frowned, "Yeah?"

"Korosensei says he's offered to give you food and you've refused."

The boy paled slightly, "Well, I mean… getting help like that is embarrassing…"

"Doesn't matter how embarrassing it is, you need to accept the help."

"Doc, it's… look, my mom doesn't like us getting a lot of help, okay? It makes her feel bad. So, I try to bring in whatever I can on my own…"

There was a slight hollowness to the boy's eyes.

Now,  _ this _ was the time to be gentle.

"So… why not make it part of class?"

He looked at you in surprise, "What?"

"What if we could set up a classroom greenhouse?"

He looked at you, wide-eyed, "A greenhouse?"

"We could use it for fall and winter gardening. You could bring things home and tell your mom they were grown at the school."

"I… guess but that's a lot of work and time to waste on me…"

"It's not a waste and it's a project that could benefit the whole class. And no one has to know it’s to help you. But I can tell you right now, your classmates aren’t going to judge you for this. You’re pretty popular kid. Why do you think you’re class rep?” you gave him a smile.

He still looked a little uncomfortable but seemed to be warming up to the idea, “I guess we could use what we grow in home ec too...”

“We could! And just think, how proud would your mom be knowing you grew the things you’re bringing home?”

He looked up at you, his grin back in place, “Alright, can you ask Korosensei about it?”

You nodded, “I’m sure he’ll be happy to help.”

“Hey, Isogai!” Maehara called, waving.

“Go on,” you waved him on, “Have a good time.”

He waved and you shook your head, feeling accomplished. You munched down on the last takoyaki, time to go tell the octopu-

Your eyes watered, your mouth and throat were on fire, wh-

_ Karma. _

Speaking of, there he was, smirking with a gaming console under one arm, “Hey doc, enjoying the octopus balls?”

_ FUCK. _

You made a beeline for a food vendor, intent on getting a drink-

Only to see it was the fucking octopus.

“Nurufufufu~ I see you found Karma’s surprise.” he immediately passed you a drink. You downed it in a hurry, coughing.

When you’d recovered enough to speak you glared up at him, “You KNEW?”

He laughed, tapping his false nose, “Sense of smell, Reader.”

You glowered at him, downing more of the bottle.

You heard some laughter from the kids and shot them a look.

“What?” Karma smirked, “Octopus balls too hot for you?”

You rolled your eyes, tossing the finished bottle into the trash. Another was pressed into your hands by the octopus, “I think you’ll need this. That will be two hundred yen.”

You looked at him and huffed, shoving money in his hand. He chuckled.

“Soooo… how did your conversation with Isogai goooo?” he was closing up shop at this particular stall.

“We’re making a greenhouse at the school. We figured it would be helpful to everyone, not just him.” you said, taking a drink of water, “Will you help us out with it?” you sniffled, the fucking heat of whatever Karma had put in it there had your nose and eyes trying to run.

He pressed a handkerchief into your hand in the middle of what he was doing.

You accepted it, mopping at your face.

“I would be more than happy to set up a greenhouse.” he chuckled, “How did you convince him?”

“Got to the bottom of why he won’t accept it. It’s not his pride. It’s his mom’s. A greenhouse gives a good excuse, it’s school-related. Not charity.”

“Excellent job.” he grinned, a hand patting your head gently, “We’ll get started on that the moment the semester begins.”

“So...” you looked over at the other booths he was currently running, “How’s business?”

He chuckled, “It’s going swimmingly, I’ll be well supplemented for the coming month.” 

You shook your head, then paused, "Hey… I'm sorry if I kinda snapped earlier…"

He chuckled, "You're a worrier. It's a response out of concern."

"Still…"

"Apology accepted. Now, let me finish up these last few sales. Then we can watch some fireworks."

You gave a nod. Shortly you found yourself accompanied by your idiot, bags of cash in hand.

"You weren't kidding when you said you did well…"

He chuckled, "One of the many benefits of Mach 20."

There was a whistling of rockets and when you looked up a gorgeous burst of light appeared. The fireworks had started…

You grinned over at him and he chuckled, "Lovely, aren't they?"

You nodded and noticed…

The children were distracted right now…

With a smirk you reached over, taking hold of the handkerchief around his neck. He looked at you in surprise. Tugging him down, you kissed him. He made a small sound of surprise and when he straightened he was bright pink. You chuckled.

"Reader!"

You nudged him gently, "Don't worry. No one was looking."

The color didn’t recede from his face.

The fireworks went on for a while. The pair of you stood, taking in the brilliant sprays of color against the night sky. The kids gave out exclamations of awe.

And then Korosensei's eye was drawn to something else.

In front of you both was Takebayashi, his phone was in his pocket, Ritsu’s face peeping out from it. Korosensei brightened, “Did you enjoy yourselves too? Studying begins tomorrow so you might as well stretch your wings today…”

Takebayashi’s expression was taut, “Thank you, sir, but I’m here to inform you that I’m returning to the main campus for the next semester.” he gave a bow.

“Wh-what? You’re leaving E Class?!” the octopus seemed panicked, “But why?”

The boy’s voice was tight, “I have done the work required of me to return to the main campus… isn’t that the point of E Class?”

“Ahhh...” the octopus was clearly taken aback, he scratched at his head slightly, “That is true… though I had hoped you would continue to try your hand at the assassination.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but my studies are more important.”

Takebayashi gave another bow and walked away.

Oof…

You didn’t realize he was going to announce that  _ tonight. _

“What have I done?!” Korosensei looked at you in a blind panic, “Is one of our students really so unhappy that they want to leave?!”

You reached out, touching his arm, “That’s not why he’s leaving.”

“You _ knew?!” _ he looked at you, scandalized.

“He told me about it before Okinawa but he wanted me to keep it a secret.”

His smile turned into a grimace, “Why is he leaving?”

“His family.” you made a face, “They’re all in the medical field. It’s a big part of the family business. Being in E Class has meant he’s been frozen out from pretty much all of his home interaction because low grades mean less chance of him following in their footsteps… That’s why he’s always got Ritsu with him.”

“...Well this simply won’t do. I’ll have a talk with Principal Asano and the boy’s family.”

“What happened to a gentle approach?” you raised a brow.

He paused, “I think you’ve demonstrated tonight that sometimes a touch more force is required.”

“Should we tell the kids?”

He looked out at the others still enjoying the fireworks, “No… let me see what I can do about the situation first.”

He looked stiff, upset. You frowned.

“Reader… why didn’t you tell me about this situation?”

“Takebayashi specifically asked me not to. That’s part of my job.”

“But what if it had been something worse?” he looked to you in concern, “The students’ privacy is paramount-” said the man who had spied on these kids more than once, “But if one of them is in danger...”

“I’d tell you.” you looked up at him, “I’m not going to just sit by if one of them really direly needs help. I think you know that much already.”

He was fretting just a bit but seemed to be settling.

Reaching out, you took his hand gently, “Hey...”

He looked down at you.

“Come back to my place after?”

The stiffness receded, his expression softened, “I would like that.”

Fireworks burst, painting colors across the night sky. Your students were laughing and ecstatic, unaware one of their number wasn’t returning.

You felt his hand squeeze yours.

What a way to kick off next semester...


	90. Honored (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And ya'll thought Christmas was over.  
> You can get [Korosensei's POV over here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/52418383).

You entered your apartment, he ducked inside after you.

"Give me a minute. I need to shower."

As you washed the smell of the festival away you took some slow, deep breaths. You could  _ do _ this. You just had to  _ ask _ for what you wanted, like Irina had said. Sure she hadn't meant it about fucking an octopus but it was still solid advice, right?

How the hell were you going to ask this? What if anything special was needed? Shit… what if he needed condoms? Could he use condoms? Wh-

Okay, no, you could worry about that later. Right now you just needed to focus on asking the question…

Fuck… you hoped this wasn’t a disaster...

You came back out in pajamas and found him sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. He offered one to you and you accepted it, sitting with him.

"That was an interesting evening." His eyes closed as he took a sip of his tea, "I was a bit worried no one would show up."

“Just a bit?” you laughed, "You think?”

“Well, I was worried!”

“Well, you know _ I _ couldn't miss out on a festival with you."

He went pink and his grin widened, "I'm happy I was able to share it with you and the students."

"Even if you spent most of the time vending?" you smirked.

“Well, what sort of model would I be to the students if I passed up an opportunity like that?!”

“I could say the same about that kiss.”

“They could have SEEN!” his voice pitched up and you laughed.

“Didn’t you say that was exciting on Okinawa?”

He went bright pink.

You chuckled, “Even with all of the drama though… it was a good night I think.”

He nodded, “I agree.”

You slipped your own tea and then paused, "You know… um… we could make the night better if you're interested…"

You winced internally. 

_ God... _

_ That sounded so lame. _

He turned his attention to you, "Hm?"

"Well, I was thinking you could spend the night…"

His expression softened into fondness. Your face was burning.

"Um…" there was no way to ask this that  _ didn't _ sound awkward, "You… can you um…"

He reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder, concern filling his voice, "What is it, Reader?"

Whelp.  _ Here it goes. _

"Can you have sex?" He went neon pink and you stammered trying to explain yourself, "I-I mean I know you look at magazines and you  _ like _ things but like I didn't know if you could still  _ do _ things since you've changed and God this is  _ weird _ now that I'm saying it out loud. I'm sorry I-"

He looked like he was having the same meltdown you were. He covered his face.

You stumbled over your words, He laughed, still bright pink and sighed, looking at you. His expression was embarrassed but almost… relieved?

"You certainly  _ were _ to the point…" he paused looking at you in sudden surprise, "Wait…" a look crossed his face, “You weren’t sure if I coul-” realization crept into his voice, “Oh, Reader...” He started laughing, “I’m so sorry, I should have… that is...”

“Well I mean I didn’t want to bring it up! You’re... you know, you’ve been through a lot and I wasn’t sure if it would be something that would be upsetting to you. Like if you  _ couldn’t _ that just seemed like it’d be not the BEST thing to bring up...”

He chuckled, “And I was worried you would be offended given your response to Irina...”

“What?”

What did he-

“You were very concerned about Irina and consent. I thought it would be best… if I decided to pursue things with you, to be careful. I didn’t want to cause any misunderstandings… That’s ah… well, there have been a few times-” he faltered, “I was trying to let you lead.”

“I thought for sure you were going to try something at your place...”

“You brought up consentacles again! I didn’t want you to think-”

“Ohhhh my god. So what you’re telling me is that I’ve spent all this time successfully cockblocking myself.”

“Well… we have established that you can be as dense as Karasuma.”

Oh my fucking god you were both _ idiots. _

You were supposed to be  _ educators _ goddammit how the fuck could you fail at basic communication so  _ badly? _

You ran your hands over your face, “Oh my god, I should have said something sooner. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry this is so awkw-”

He reached out gently putting a finger to your lips, "To answer your question...  _ Theoretically _ , yes. I should still be able to participate in ah…  _ intimate _ activities. Though I've not put that into practice with a partner as of yet."

"Ah…" your face was on fire.

"Is that what you wanted to do tonight?" His voice was gentle and measured, barely restraining anticipation.

You were  _ screaming _ internally. You managed a small, quick nod, " _ Only _ if you want to though."

He seemed to relax at that, "Reader, I would  _ love _ to spend tonight with you."

Taking the teacups, he reached over, setting them on the table.

This was  _ happening _ . The reality was settling in on you.  _ This was  _ **_going to happen_ ** _. _ You felt yourself vibrating, trembling. How was this going to work? How would this go? Would he-

A tentacle reached out, lightly pressing to your neck, “Reader, are you sure you’re alright?”

You tried to calm yourself and nodded, bringing a hand up to wrap your fingers delicately around the tendril touching your skin, “I’m just…”

You took a breath, trying to steady yourself.

“I’m afraid I won’t...” you faltered, trying to find the right words, “...satisfy you?”

He was pink before but now he went nuclear, practically glowing. His tentacles waved about, sputtering trying to reassure you. You shook your head, realizing what he’d thought, “It’s not like that! I mean, I just... I don’t really look like the magazines you read...”

He reverted suddenly to yellow, his flustered expression receding. His voice dropped gently into that genuine tone that always warmed your heart.

“Reader, while magazines may be titillating and pleasing to the eye, to have a person before you is an  _ array _ of sensual delights.” a tentacle reached out to gently stroke your cheek, “The softness of skin, the warmth of the body,” another tentacle circled around your waist gently, coaxing you forward, “their scent...”

It occurred to you how large he was, even sitting on your couch. You suddenly felt exposed and sheepish. He leaned down, planting a kiss lightly on your lips, “Their taste.”

He looked into your eyes.

“Images cannot  _ begin _ to compare to the pleasure and  _ honor _ of exploring another person.”

You could feel heat radiating off your face and your throat closing. You'd been worried that, even if he could, you still might not be what he wanted.

But the way that he said that told you there was no question.

He wanted to do this with  _ you _ .

A tentacle ran over your hair gently and you were pulled close against him. You buried your face into the front of his uniform, allowing yourself to be surrounded by him. 

_ Old books and summer rain… _

Something new drifted through the other scents, light but sweet...

_ Salted caramel... _

The scent enveloped you along with his sleeves. You felt welcomed and safe. Tentacles embraced you and you wrapped your arms around him tightly. He was warm and soft. 

You looked up at him, his smile was gentle.

There was a pause, both of you simply looking at one another. With embarrassment, you managed to ask, “Ah...where should we…?”

“Perhaps, that would be best sorted as we go?” he asked gently, one of his hands entwining with yours, “After all, a  _ touch _ of spontaneity can certainly add to the excitement.”

You smiled, “I think I can work with that…”

Before you realized it, you were lifted and settled straddling his lap. You'd done this before but knowing where this was leading made it a completely different sensation. You still felt incredibly self-conscious but he seemed genuinely entranced with you.

“You know, Reader,  _ honestly _ ," the bareness of his tone, a sort of reserved concern, struck you, "I should be more concerned that you would not be satisfied with  _ my _ appearance. I am, after all, not what you might be used to.”

Wh-what?

This was the guy that literally slapped his face on everything and called himself an ikeman… He was so sure of himself in most things that hearing that just...

You reached up, pulling his face down to yours in an abrupt kiss. He gave a surprised hum and your heart fluttered in response.

Sitting back slightly, still touching his cheek, you spoke, “I’ve never really been satisfied by what I’m used to.”

He went bright pink and chuckled, “Well, I’m  _ certainly _ glad of that.”

You sat up a bit, pulling him down to you, kissing him gently. Tentacles wrapped around you, pulling you close. You felt tentacles everywhere, one brushing its way through your hair, another cinched gently at your waist, a pair around the back of your legs which made you shiver slightly. You looped an arm around his shoulder, your other hand moving down his cheek to his neckline. There was a light gasp from him and you felt a little bolder. Carefully, you loosened his tie, knowing its importance. You sent a little prayer that Aguri would approve. Leaning in, you kissed down his cheek to his neck. A sound came from him, something like a cross between a chuckle and a whine. You shivered and smiled to yourself, a little rush of power running through you. Mach 20 speed, genius intellect, and all of his other abilities...but  _ you _ made him sound like that.

“May I?” he asked, one tentacle gently teasing at the hem of your shirt.

“ _ Please. _ ” you moaned.

You both froze.

Sudden embarrassment overwhelmed you at how needy you’d sounded, how you’d been progressing things so quickly. You buried your face in his neck. That infuriating chuckle sounded above you. Looking up you saw green rings circling his head as a tentacle trailed it’s way up your back under your shirt. You shivered.

“So...your previous experiences weren’t  _ satisfying... _ you said...” his tentacles around your legs tightened just barely, pulling you closer, “I  _ certainly _ hope that I can do something about that.”

You squirmed just slightly at the implications of that statement, “I think you can.”

He chuckled and leaned in, his lips on yours. It wasn't the desperate hungry kisses you had shared that first night you'd made out. This was slower, gentler…

Kisses that spoke  _ volumes _ about his intention to take his time with you. The tentacles along your back trailed it's way down your spine and you shivered. You let a hand come up to cup his cheek as you kissed him, another trailing fingers down his front to pop open the buttons at his neckline that you could reach.

He gasped softly and you looked up at him, "Is this-"

He chuckled, "It's more than alright, Reader."

And he was kissing you again. Your hand pressed to his chest and slid across a shoulder, enjoying the tiny sounds he made of surprise. 

You couldn't resist. You parted from his lips and worked your way back down his neck, kissing along the newly exposed skin.

He trembled at the touch.

The tendril along your back pulled you close and suddenly a hand was lifting your face to his.

His smile was soft and gentle, “Reader, may I see you?”

You froze. Moment of truth time. Could you do this? 

You’d been wanting this...hoping for it. Silently, you nodded.

Tentacles gently removed your top. It was a little amusing to you. You knew he could very easily have stripped you instantly but from the look on his face, he was enjoying the slow reveal of your clothing being peeled away. You sat back a bit, feeling exposed.

“What about you?”

“Nue?” You surprised him apparently, startling him from his ogling, “Me?”

“Well, I mean… is it really fair if I don’t get to see you too?” you gave him a smile, “I have to admit I’m curious and I also doubt you’d want to continue this while wearing your school clothes...” 

_ Not to mention you really needed to know what exactly you were going to be working with…. _

He seemed almost alarmed when you reminded him of what he was wearing, “Of course!”

You slid off of his lap and held up a hand, knowing what he was about to do, “But I want to  _ see _ you take them off, don't just dash out of them.”

He went bright pink but his voice stayed steady as he rose and made his way to the other side of the room, “Right. After all, that would only be fair.”

You watched with interest as he removed the cap. You had been legitimately curious as to what exactly was going on under his clothing and not only for sexual reasons. He paused, tentacles fingering at his loosened tie. Guilt welled up in your belly.

“It’s alright if you want to stop...” the words stumbled out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

He looked at you and his smile gentle, “I don’t want to, Reader.” he looked back at his tie for a long moment, “I was simply thinking of how blessed I’ve been to love two outstanding people in my life.”

He removed the tie, placing it in his cap. Your heart was threatening to  _ explode _ . Youwereoutstanding? Hethoughtyouwereoutstanding? You felt a little light-headed from being put on the same level as her and hoped that wherever she was, she knew how much you cared about her memory. How much you knew she meant to him...

Your attention was brought back into focus as he removed the graduation hood from his shoulders. He shrugged out of the gown itself and you noticed that he was a touch thinner than you’d expected. There was something amusing and adorable about seeing him without his huge sleeves. As he removed articles of clothing he glanced at you and you could clearly see the pink tinge of his body deepening. It was fascinating how deftly his tentacles could unfasten things like hooks and buttons. He took off the remaining shirt, folding it up and placing it with his gown.

He was...pretty much what you’d expected. Round head, wide sloping shoulders, his arms and the smaller secondary tentacles that supported them. The rest of his body was a smooth length of torso, no definition to speak of (aside from what was possibly a bit of chub), and then tentacle legs. You made a mental note that you saw nothing that appeared to indicate genitalia but, well...you imagined that he had something in mind for that.

You realized you were staring and he chuckled, still pink but trying to revive some of his cockiness, “Do you like what you see, Reader?”

The sound that came out of you was undignified and alarmed as you tried to explain that you were curious. He laughed and then straightened up. His eyes narrowed as he gestured to you, “I  _ believe _ you are a bit behind.”

Behind? What did he-

Oh.

You looked down at your pants.

That’s right. You still needed to ah...remove those.

Green rings appeared around his head, “Perhaps you need some  _ assistance _ ?”

Ohhhhhh god. Your face was on fire.

“I got it!” you squeaked, standing up.

It was his turn to watch in amusement as you wriggled out of your pants and underwear. This suddenly felt ridiculous. You were in your living room. Naked. With a giant yellow octopus. Who was also naked. What was this? What were you doing? Why was this hot?

A tentacled hand reached out to you, taking yours carefully. He seemed concerned.

“You’re certain  _ you _ want to do this?”

You gave his hand a squeeze, nerves dissipating a bit. Something settled into place for you. You didn’t know how to explain it but something felt… right. Yes, everything was ridiculous. But like that night with the post-it notes… you were in your home. The only person here was a person you had chosen, a person who had chosen you, and this was a choice you were making together. Turning your face up to him, you smiled, “ _ Absolutely _ .”

You drew him back towards the couch, tentacles reached out, picking up one of the throw blankets you had around, he draped it across the cushions. Placing a hand on his chest, you pushed him back gently. He took the hint, sitting back where he had been before. You climbed back onto his lap. He was warm between your thighs and you shivered. Self-consciousness rose up again for a moment but was brushed aside as he stroked your cheek gently.

“You are amazing,” you whispered.

You cupped his hand with yours and pressed a kiss against it. Tentacles moved forward, wrapping around your waist, trailing up your back and neck, lacing themselves gently against your thighs. You shuddered. It was one thing to feel those over your clothing, but skin to skin contact was a whole other animal...

“As are you, Reader.” he leaned close, lips grazing yours. A tentacle trailed down your stomach gently, tracing the lines and shapes of your body. Another brushed a nipple lightly, teasingly. Returning the kiss, you put a hand on his chest, feeling the pounding of his heart under it. Your body felt electric, buzzing with the anticipation of what would come next.

“How...” you faltered, looking up at him, “How do I...”

A flicker of surprise crossed his face. His eyes met yours, “Shall I show you?”

You nodded,  _ hoping _ he meant the same thing you did.

You felt movement below you and when you looked you saw that he was adjusting how he was seated. You could see a gap between two of his legs and…

Oh.

A few tentacles appeared from somewhere under his legs, these were the same color as the others but without the curl at the tip. Almost hesitantly, he coiled one before you. Removing your hand from his chest you reached out, running your fingers along it. His body shuddered and the tentacles holding you tightened slightly. Glancing up at him you could see the redness in his cheeks darken. Carefully, you ran your hand along the tentacle, it coiled around your hand almost of its own accord. He reflexively hunched over you and you smiled, “Is this alright?”

“Y-yes...” there was a breathlessness to his voice that made your chest tighten in the best of ways.

The texture was soft and smooth and you noticed that you had been wrong before. These weren't the same color after all. Gently, you ran a finger along the coil wrapped around your hand. It was a slightly paler yellow fading to a light cream at the tip. There was a shifting pearlescence to the flesh, probably the most surprising part to you. 

"It's beautiful…"

He was… you chuckled, he looked  _ so _ embarrassed.

It was  _ adorable _ .

"They're lovely..." you trailed a finger along it gently and watched as he shivered. One hand came up to hide his face.

He was  _ so _ precious…

You sat up a bit, using your free hand to pull his hand from his face, and kissed him. 

He nuzzled you and you kissed him again, this time running your fingers along the tentacle in your hands as you did so. A surprised and happy moan hummed against your mouth.

Oh, this was  _ perfect _ …

You smiled into the kiss, chuckling, "That was cute…"

His cheeks were a deep pink. He didn't seem to know what to say.

"Hmmm…" you ran your hand along the tentacle again, "It seems like I'm not the only one who has trouble with compliments…"

"Reader!" He laughed through the embarrassment and gasped as you stroked at the tentacle again.

" _ Yes?~ _ "

He shivered and nuzzled against you, unable to form words due to the distraction of your hands on him.

You kissed him again and he whined against your lips. You didn't think you would ever get tired of that sound. It was fun trying different motions and hearing the sounds it dragged from him.

A finger along the underside, a gentle open stroke down the length, letting it slip through your fingers…

All resulted in different soft gasps, cries, and moans.

"You are making wonderful noises…"

He gave a slight chuckle.

One of his hands trailed down your body, slipping lower to tease at more sensitive areas. A gasp escaped you and he chuckled, “And what a lovely noise you're making too~”

In retaliation you pulled the sensitive tentacle close to your chest, kissing the tip of it. He made a strangled yelp and, unable to help it, you giggled. He laughed as well, his hand stroking and probing at you. Gasping through your laugh you laid your head against his chest, holding the tentacle close and continuing to stroke and toy with it. It felt amazing, he had a smooth velvety texture to him. It was a pleasure to touch, a pleasure to have touching you. And you noticed that the longer you toyed with it the slicker it became.

A tentacle slid up the dip of your back, stroking your skin. You glanced back and saw it was one of these pearlescent tentacles…

How many did he have, you wondered?

Oh god, you wanted to find out.

Reaching back for a moment, you ran your hand along the tentacle behind you. Beads of sweat had formed on his brow and he trembled. So, it seemed a touch to any of them gave him something…

You felt his hand draw away, being replaced by something a bit different. Glancing down, you saw one of these pearlescent tentacles gently coiling itself against your nethers. It was one thing to have his hand against you but knowing he felt something from this too made your insides squirm pleasantly. You rocked your hips forward and he moaned softly above you. You focused both hands back on the tentacle in front of you. Tenderly, you began to kiss along it. He made a strangled noise, his body shaking as you did so.

There was a measure of awe to your actions. You understood what he had said before. You felt  _ honored _ that he would share this with you. Even more so with the threat of assassination hanging over his head. You had seen enough to know he had no reason to trust anyone with this sort of intimacy and yet… here you were. The thought only made you redouble your efforts to please him. You ran your hands along the tentacle in your arms, rocked harder against him, and leaned up to kiss along his neck. Small moans and whines filled your ears as he slid these tentacles against you.

You felt a tentacle press lightly at your entrance and you shivered. His voice was soft, gentle and filled with barely restrained anticipation, "May I?"

Oh  _ god _ yes.

" _ Please… _ ." You didn't even care how needy you sounded this time. You'd wanted this for so long and he was right here and-

He slipped inside and you moaned, burying your face in his front and trying not to squeeze the tentacle in your hands too hard. You could feel his shudder, the tentacle in your arms writhing just a bit. His motions were measured, gentle, god he could have gone faster and you wouldn't have minded. It was different than other experiences you'd had, far more tactile, almost overwhelming.

You  _ loved _ it.

He twisted inside you, pushing and exploring until he located a place that made you groan into his chest, hands clenching around the tentacle in front of you.

He chuckled and slowly worked the appendage against that point. It was so direct, so much, and so  _ intense _ ...

Bucking against the tentacle below you, you cast your eyes up at him. It was an expression you hadn’t quite seen on him before. The smile was still there but there was a focus and furrowing of his brow that told you he was putting a considerable amount of effort into… something.

He seemed to keep his pace slow and steady but you had the feeling he wanted to go faster...

“Korosensei...” you leaned up, kissing his cheek, running your hands along the tentacle you were holding as you did so.

This elicited a shudder from him.

“You know you-” you faltered as he brushed against a particularly sensitive place, “Y-you don’t have to go slowly if you don't want to… I'm not going to break..."

A hand drew your face forward, he kissed you, “You misunderstand, Reader.” he panted slightly, “This is  _ heavenly _ and I simply want this to  _ last… _ ”

Why was he so  _ good? _ You buried your face in his chest, rolling your hips. Why was he so  _ kind? _ Your hands slid along the tentacle in your grasp. Why was he so  _ perfect? _ You heard him gasp, felt his heartbeat as much as you heard it. 

“Reader...” he cradled you close to him, “ _ My darling, Reader _ .”

The way he said your name broke something in you. You moaned, trembling against him as you came. He kept up the movements that brought you here, gentler, slower, but dragging out the feeling for you. Just when you felt it would never stop, that it could never stop, the feeling began to mercifully ebb away. You melted against him as the tension left your body. The tentacle inside you slipped away leaving your body twitching in its absence.

You felt him brush your hair back, you looked up at him. He was pink still, his breathing a bit ragged. Gently, you ran your hands across the tentacle still in your grasp. He shook, “R-reader, you can rest fir-”

He practically yelped as you ran your hands along it again, “You wanted this to  _ last _ , you said.”

Gently, you drew the tentacle he had lined up against your back around to your front. He obliged, moving it obediently where you guided it. His eyes widened slightly in anticipation. Drawing the new one up to your mouth, you ran your tongue across it experimentally. He practically became a puddle. So… that popsicle incident  _ was _ what you had thought... You softly sucked at the tip while running your hands over the other. He didn't taste like much but there was a light sweetness which you found a little amusing. He was practically trembling, his voice hushed and filled with need, "That...  _ Reader _ oh...  _ There _ ..."

Praise poured from his lips, his tone fluctuating with surprise as you teased him with your hands and mouth. It was adorable.

“Oh, yes, that-oh that’s astounding. You are f-fantastic, marvelous, perf-fect...”

He made less sense the longer you went until he was only making sounds. Moans, sighs, hums of appreciation, gasps…

It was  _ wonderful _ hearing him so delighted.

From time to time you would slide the tentacle almost out of your mouth before taking in as much as you could. Every single time he reacted as though it were the first.

It was adorable.

He was staring at you, watching. You locked your eyes with his purposefully. There was something to the way he shuddered and gasped that told you he didn't just enjoy the sensation.

He liked seeing you this way too…

If it weren't for the fact that you were enjoying yourself so much you might have felt self-conscious about that thought.

You drew more of the tentacle into your mouth, sucking it as best you could manage. Given the way he was trembling you had a feeling this was something he  _ particularly _ enjoyed. The third one had begun to run against your nethers again, dipping in to tease at you. Still sensitive, you moaned around him, shivering. It was in that moment you felt him cling to you, all tentacles tightening their grip, crying out. And you watched in stunned awe as he flickered through a shifting set of colors, a spectrum of dancing patterns across his skin. it was similar to what cuttlefish or octopi did as they shifted from one color to the next.

It was  _ gorgeous _ . 

You kept up your ministrations, humming around the tentacle in your mouth, gently running your fingers along the tentacle in your hands, slowing down until you could tell he had had enough. He was panting, his skin had slowly drifted back to yellow. He trembled around you. Tentacles relaxing. You reached up, wrapping your arms around his neck, nuzzling against it.

You stayed like that for several minutes, both of you winding down and simply recovering. He slumped a bit lower on the couch so you were practically laying on him. There was a soothing calm between you both. The only sounds the sounds of breath stirring the air.

The heat of the moment was cooling and as a result, you were slowly becoming more aware of your nakedness and the chill of the room.

“That… was amazing.”

He looked at you, surprised at the broken silence. His smile widened, “It was. You are.”

"I didn't know you would…" You laughed breathlessly, "I didn't know you would change colors like that…"

He went a bright pink, "It… it seems to be a side effect yes."

"So you knew."

He went pinker than before.

"Which means you've totally used those in a  _ solo _ 'intimate activity' before." You couldn't help but tease him a little.

"W-well...Yes I mean I still...I have…" he stammered, " I _ do _ still have a libido and this job can be rather  _ stressful _ sometimes!"

You laughed gently and laid your head back on his chest, "I'd love to see that sometime…If you'd let me.."

You heard his heartbeat quicken and smiled to yourself.

"Gladly…"

You paused, "...were you thinking about me?"

Absolute panic.

You grinned, "You were weren't you?"

"Yes…" he looked so embarrassed. It was adorable, "But you've done it too!"

Wh-

What?

"How do you know that?!"

Deep magenta, "I can smell things… remember? Your little foray into the shower after that massage certainly didn't cover up the scent…"

Oh god, now you were having a meltdown. You buried your face in his front with a small shriek.

He placed a kiss on your forehead with a laugh, "That night was quite a trial…"

"God I'm such an idiot."

"To be fair, we both were." He chuckled.

You sighed, just laying there with him for a moment.

Finally, you looked up at him, “I’m exhausted… and I think I need another shower.”

“Allow me.”

Suddenly you were in the bathroom, clean pajamas were laid out along with a towel and the shower was running. You noticed the shirt on top immediately.

PLEASE PRESENT YOUR OCTOPUS 

You shook your head and took a step towards the shower. Your legs wobbled. Apparently, that took more energy out of you than you thought. You steadied yourself with a hand on the wall and climbed into the shower to wash up.

When you emerged the blanket from the couch was hanging outside on the balcony. You saw that his clothes were still folded on the table but he was nowhere in sight. A tentacle moved by the door of your bedroom, fussing with a blanket. Curious, you peeked in to see him arranging a second futon next to yours. He had a larger blanket to accommodate so that you could both sleep under it. You suppressed a smile, watching him adjust little things like he was struggling to set a proper scene.

He turned around, spotting you and went a bright pink again. Moving across the room you wrapped your arms as far as you could around him. Tentacles pulled you close and there was a happy hum above you.

“Ready for bed?”

You nodded into his chest. You were so exhausted, so happy. As you slid under the blankets he reached out to you. With a grin you curled up next to him, his arm wrapped around you, a tendril idly playing with your hair.

“You are perfect.” 

He chuckled, shaking his head, “Far from it, I'm afraid. But I do appreciate the sentiment.”

You took one of his hands in yours, kissing it lightly. He hadn't bothered to dress, so you let a hand wander across his chest. He shivered and nuzzled you in response.

One of his tendrils reached out to shut off the light.

“Thank you, Reader. That experience was  _ wonderful _ ."

Yawning, you snuggled against him, “You're telling me.” 

He chuckled, and a sincere note entered his voice, “I'm delighted that you shared tonight with me.”

"How could I pass up this chance?"

He gave a smirk, "A chance at my…" He wiggled a tendril in your field of vision, " _ consentacles _ ?"

You groaned as he repeated your horrible word choice back at you, “Is that how I'm going to be remembered?”

He laughed, and in the dim light of the window you could just make out the green stripes circling his head, “Of course! I am glad though, that you're the one I was able to use them with first."

You shook your head but smiled, “I'm glad too.”

There was a long moment of quiet between you before you managed to get up the courage to ask a question that had been rolling around in your head since the shower.

"So… ah… those tentacles… you've always had those?"

"I take it you mean the… erm..."

"The sensitive ones." You supplied.

"Yes, those. Well… as you know by now, Reader, I can change many things about my body at will. They're not constantly  _ present _ per se." He sounded flustered. It was cute.

"... So you choose to make them? Like..."

"When they're..um required, yes."

"Which means you can also change them if you like…"

The chuckle that came from him sounded positively villainous, "Ah, I see, Reader. Perhaps you're curious about what sort of shapes or sizes I could-"

You yelped and laughed, "Korosensei!"

"Rest assured if you would like I can happily apply any number of changes to them."

He held up a tendril in a significantly less family-friendly shape and you laughed, covering your burning face, "Oh my god!"

He nuzzled you, his tendril reverting to it's usual shape, "I'm simply happy you enjoyed them."

"I… well I'm afraid I'm not as changeable as you but..."  _ ohhhhh god how to put this?  _ "You can always tell me anything that I could… well… that I could do to make it better… for you I mean…"

He pulled you close, kissing your forehead, "Oh I'm certain that together we can think of  _ all kinds of things.~" _

You buried your face in his neck, smiling. God, what a night…

"I've wanted that for  _ so _ long…" you whispered.

"Oh?~" he chuckled, "Is that so?"

You nodded slightly and there was a moment's pause from him before-

A tendril slowly dragged it's way up your back and you shivered.

"Perhaps, then, we went about this a bit  _ too quickly _ ."

You looked up at him, confused and he kissed you, rolling you onto your back.

_ Oh _ .

You looked up at him. Yes, you'd been exhausted but the shower had woken you up a bit and here he was, leaning over you, admiring you…

In your bed where you'd imagined this countless times before...

He hovered over you, leaning down to whisper into your ear, "Would you like this night to last a little  _ longer _ , Reader?"

You shuddered, " _ God _ ,  _ yes _ ."

That was all that he needed to hear.

Your pajamas that you'd just put on were quickly stripped away and you couldn't help but laugh, reaching up and kissing him.

"You're spoiling me."

He laughed, "Not at all. I admit…" he trailed a hand down your front and you pressed your lips together, stomach clenching in the best of ways, "I was  _ hoping _ we might carry this out a little further...but I didn't want to exhaust you."

His tone was so gentle, almost anxious.

He didn't need to worry.

"We do have a lot of lost time to make up for…" You whispered.

He almost seemed to melt in relief at that.

You shuddered as a hand brushed your hip... God, you didn't care if you couldn't  _ walk _ the next morning if it resulted in more of this…

A thought occurred to you, "What about you? Have you thought about it?"

He went the brightest pink you'd ever seen. His hands still trailed over you, now accompanied by his hidden tentacles.

"Yes...but I wasn't certain how you'd react."

You were embarrassed to admit it, but it spilled from your lips before you could stop yourself, "I've been thinking about it for months now…"

"Months…" he looked at you, slight surprise in his tone, as tentacles softly brushed against you below,  _ "Is that so?" _

You nodded, whining as he teased at places that had just stopped being sensitive, building you back up.

"I felt...sort of terrible about it."

"Because of what I am?"

You shook your head, shivering as he pressed against your entrance, refusing to go in quite yet.

"At f-first… But it was mostly because...you're a friend...and everything that happened and-ah!"

You bit your lip, arching your back as he slowly slipped inside you. Gently, he leaned in close. One hand ran through your hair.

"Reader," oh god the way he said your name…, "Reader, you  _ never _ need to feel so poorly about your passion. Your passion is one of the many things I  _ admire _ about you."

Tendrils roped about your legs, lifting them gently to give him better access.

The tentacle below writhed within you. God, he was better than you'd ever imagined. You felt your legs clamp around him and heard him chuckle.

"Your passion in all things is beautiful but here it is  _ positively exquisite _ …" he kissed along your cheek. You wrapped your arms around his neck, trembling.

The praise and the sensations were just… so much. Looking up at him you managed to whisper, "I love it when you talk like that…" your face was burning, "It…" you pressed a hand gently over his heart, "it always…"

Words failed you completely. He gave a gentle chuckle, "Why Reader, I  _ wonder _ whatever could have you so  _ distracted… _ " he glided the tentacle nearly out of you, "Perhaps I should pause and give you a moment to think?"

" _ No! _ " He laughed as you looked up at him, your voice was more desperate than you intended, " _ Please _ don't stop...I love the way you feel." 

His expression softened further at that, his motions becoming a bit faster. You were surrounded by him, cradled to his chest, moaning his name and clutching at his shoulders, the blankets, anything to anchor yourself.

You felt a distinct change inside you. Not an uncomfortable one, far from it. A pleasurable fullness. You cast him a questioning look. He chuckled, holding up one of the other tendrils. The tip was significantly larger.

"I thought you might enjoy a little variety…"

God damn you  _ absolutely _ did.

He chuckled at your expression and a fondness overtook his features. Leaning in, he kissed you soft and slow while the tentacle below you writhed and thrusted.

You whined into the kiss. You were far beyond needy at this point. You were in fucking heaven. You felt him shudder at your sound and looped your arms around his neck pulling him close, "I  _ love _ you."

He practically melted.

In a voice filled with raw emotion he replied, "I love you too…"

It was so _ much _ and you could feel it building to another peak. Your breathing hitched and he gasped. God that…

"You could do this to me all night if you wanted…"

He let out a breathy moan, closing his eyes.

"Reader…"

You wondered if you could convince him you meant that with a bit of…

You leaned in and practically begged, " _ Please _ fuck me all night like this…"

There was a yelp and movement stopped for a moment. You gave a whine. When you looked up you found him with his face buried in the pillows next to you.

"H-hey are you okay?"

He nodded into the pillow.

"What’s… wrong?"

"Nothing I'm just…" he was shaking slightly, his face bright pink.

Was he…

You clenched your legs around him a little tighter, "Korosensei….  _ Please… _ "

"Reader!" His tone was the same embarrassed panic you heard so often at school.

"What?" You laughed a bit, "do you like it when I beg? Or maybe you like it when I say I want you to fuck me all night."

_ "Reader!" _

He was the only person you could think of that would get so embarrassed about talking while literally being inside of you.

You laughed just a bit, that was adorable… You guessed you would have to move a little slower on the dirty talk then

That was going to be fun.

You pulled him down to you, kissing him. This time when you asked, it was softer, "Please? I really do want to feel you…"

He slowly started up his motions again, not quite making eye contact. You chuckled and leaned in, kissing him gently. Cupped his cheek, you turned his face towards you, "You're lovely…"

You weren't sure he could get any pinker.

"As are you…"

You bit your lip, biting back a moan as he worked his way a bit deeper. He chuckled softly, "Now, now, Reader you wouldn't want your neighbors to hear would you?"

You laughed, kissing him, "I'd rather not but I don't know if I can keep quiet with you moving like th-that…"

His breath was shaky, eyes widening as you spoke. You found yourself held close to him, his voice gentle by your ear, "Then I guess they'll  _ simply have to hear. _ "

You shuddered.

Ohhhhh that…

You started kissing him desperately. The tentacle inside you worked its way into a position where it was hitting a spot in you that made every part of you just want to seize.

"Korosensei, please…." You moaned, burying your face in his chest, "please ...don't stop."

He shivered at your pleas and sped up shakily when suddenly he arched over you, forehead to yours, a ragged cry coming from him.

Colors raced and flickered across him and you bucked your hips against the tentacle inside you as he rode out the feeling.

When you looked up into his face the expression that you saw was one of hunger, craving.

He wanted more and oh were you  _ willing _ to give it.

"Keep going."

His face faltered for a moment, "Aren't you tir-"

You grinned up at him, breathless and pulled him down to you kissing his cheek, "You think I care? I want to see that  _ again _ ."

He made a sound of surprise, going a magenta, but he started up his motions again.

You weren't going to be able to hold out. You knew that. But you didn't care.

When you came you came hard, locking your legs up around him and clinging to him.

He gasped and watched you, slowing down just a touch.

You looked up at him, "H-hey…" you panted, "I said I wanted to see that again… d-don't stop."

He stared at you.

"Reader are you sure?"

He wanted it, you could see it on his face.

But he needed to be told it was okay.

"Absolutely." You kissed him slowly and he whined, finally giving in.

You were already overstimulated but god it was so good and he was  _ so _ attentive. One wrong sound and he would shift position changing to something more comfortable.

You felt the tentacle inside you shift again to something a touch larger and you moaned, burying your face in his neck as your body twitched in response around it.

He cried out and you saw colors flickering along his skin again. You moaned his name into his chest and he shuddered. Holding you tightly to him.

You stayed locked in that embrace for a long moment, him twitching inside of you, holding you tightly, breathing heavy. He moved again, light short strokes which pushed you back over the edge, reducing you to a moaning, shaking mess. You heard him gasp, felt his lips on your cheek.

Softly, in your ear, you heard him whisper, "Stunning…"

It felt so good you almost wanted him to do it again…

But…

There would be time for that later. Right now.it felt like you both might need a break…

You looked up at him, "Look who's talking."

Slowly, almost reluctantly, he removed himself from you. Flopping down on the futon he wrapped a tentacle around you.

You snuggled into his chest, looking up at him, "...you know what's awful?"

"Hm?"

"I think I really  _ could _ go all night with you…"

He went a deep magenta, staring at you. When he spoke his tone held an undercurrent of desire that you hadn't heard from him before, " _ Don't tempt me… _ "

You shivered at that and nuzzled him, one hand on his chest, "Maybe we could try sometime?"

You felt his heartbeat quicken, "Are you sure that you would be alright with that?"

You nodded, "So long as we can stop if I'm too worn out."

His expression softened and he nuzzled you gently, "If you would be willing to try, then I would as well."

You gave a shy nod and he held you close, the two of you winding down slowly.

Reaching up you ran your hand along his cheek, happy and content. You smirked to yourself, "So, I can't handle compliments and you can't handle dirty talk."

He went pink, "I can handle it just fine!"

"Yeah?" You grinned, your voice lowering, "So, I guess you'd be fine with me begging you to fuck me till I can't walk tomorrow?"

He had a complete meltdown. Face a brilliant pink, covering it with a pillow. You laughed.

"See?! You _ do _ get embarrassed. I'm surprised given the magazines you like…"

"Coming from you it's different!!!" He protested, "And the tone is  _ completely _ different when you say it like  _ that!" _

"So… if I say something like…" you whispered seductively, " _ Let me taste you _ ... that's  _ one _ thing but if I say something more like…" you leaned in, voice lowering, " _ I'm going to suck you dry _ ..."

He gave a small embarrassed shriek

You cackled, burying your face in his chest, "That's  _ adorable! Oh my GOD!" _

He made a distressed sound and you stifled your giggles.

"Reader…" he was practically pouting. You chuckled and kissed his cheek, "Do you hate it or is it just embarrassing?"

He looked flustered, "It's embarrassing…"

"But you like it…"

He looked like he was going to combust as he gave a nod.

You laughed. 

"I'll go easy on you then… but I do love your reaction to it."

There was a gentle quiet that fell. He seemed to be trying to recover.

"I love you." You said softly, looking up at him.

He grinned down at you, "I love you too."

"Hey…" you were… you didn't know how to explain it but you wanted to get this out, "I really enjoyed this…"

He chuckled, "I think it was a bit more than enjoyed."

You blushed, burying your face, "Okayyeahlookitwasthebestsexofmylife."

He laughed, green stripes but a blush across his cheeks.

"What would you ever have done if I hadn't been capable?" He joked.

You stared at him in surprise, "Loved you anyway?"

He faltered, looking at you.

You continued, "I… I'd thought about it a lot… and… well… I mean, I love you. This is just one part of that. And if I couldn't have this part it wouldn't be a deal-breaker or something…" you were getting more and more flustered as you spoke, "Because while this is amazing? This isn't how I fell in love with you." You put a hand on his chest, "This is…"

You were pulled close, held against him. Lips found yours and when you parted he touched his forehead to yours, "You are wonderful." 

You felt the heat of your face and the warmth of his skin against yours. 

"It is lovely though… that we can…" you said, "If I wasn't so exhausted I'd…ask to keep going."

He looked at you in surprise, "Really now?"

"Well… look I  _ did _ say it was the best sex of my life…"

He chuckled, nuzzling you, "I certainly feel the same. Maybe another night soon?"

You nodded, "We do have a  _ lot _ of lost time to make up for…"

He kissed you once again and you leaned into it.

The two of you drifted off together, your pajamas forgotten on the floor, tentacles and the scent of old books and summer rain around you.

You had never had a more restful night.


	91. Just Add Water (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everybody! Have an awkward morning after discussion!  
> Next chapter will be SFW and we'll get back to more plot shenanigans.  
> Illustration to come.  
> Korosensei's POV is [over here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/52998790).

When you woke up the first thing you noticed was that you were naked.

The second thing you noticed was the tentacle wrapped around you.

The third thing was the  _ very _ naked octopus those tentacles were attached to.

Well... you didn't need coffee this morning.

Because you were AWAKE now.

...

You'd fucked the octopus.

You'd slept with the squid.

You'd had sex with the cephalopod.

_ The fuckening had happened. _

And now your brain was finally catching up with the magnitude of what you had done and scrambling to figure things out.

What if your family found out?

What if the kids found out?

What if  _ Karasuma _ found out?

What if the  _ government  _ found out?

_ Fuck. _

The last month had been so full of life and death scenarios or romantic outings that you really hadn’t stopped to consider that.

What  _ would _ happen if they found out?

Would you end up a lab rat too?

Would they want to figure things out? If it had changed you in some way-

_ Shit… _

Yet another thing you hadn’t thought about. Aside from last night’s incredibly brief worry about condoms.

What were the side effects of sex with an anti-matter creature?

Aside from, like, never wanting to have sex with another human being again because it just would NOT compare…

He was human on some level, he was silicone at least in part, and well…

_ Fuck… _

You went into this knowing way less than you should have…

There was a soft sound of content and you looked down at your companion. His head was resting against your chest, his tentacles tightened around you just slightly, face the picture of happiness…

You sighed.

Even with all of your questions and concerns…

You couldn’t say you regretted last night.

You smiled, gliding a hand across his back.

You could ask those questions when he woke up.

Figure things out.

For right now you closed your eyes and let the peace and quiet of the moment soothe your nerves.

When you woke up next it was to the smell of pancakes.

You were still naked, still nestled in amongst the futons spread out in your room. Your companion was nowhere to be seen.

You sat up.

Well…  _ those _ were muscles you hadn’t had ache in awhile.

You rubbed at your face, sudden intense embarrassment surfacing.

Last night was…

You pulled your knees up and buried your face in your arms.

Ohhhhhh my god.

Okay, okay… you had a lot you needed to cover today.

But first. Shower.

You got up, grabbing your pajamas from last night and throwing them on before grabbing some clean clothes to take with you to the shower…

Which was going to involve walking past the kitchen.

Ohhhh boy.

You took a breath and opened the door, hearing a sudden clatter from the kitchen.

Had-

Had he DROPPED something?

You tried not to laugh and slowly peeked into the kitchen. He was standing there back in his robes, bright pink, washing up a spatula.

You waved.

“Reader! Good morning!” his voice was pitched up, nerves ringing through it, “I thought you might enjoy some breakfast so I-”

“The pancakes are burning...” you pointed.

Panicked octopus noises as he quickly tended to them.

“I, uh, I’m just gonna shower...”

“Yes, do that. It should be ready when you’re out!” 

You retreated to the bathroom.

Oh my god?

You’d broken the octopus.

You’d straight up just broken him.

When had he ever dropped anything unintentionally?

When had he ever BURNED something?

You climbed into the shower and the second the water hit you you made a face.

Oh…

You touched your hands together…

Oh god…

Last nights… fluids… had dried on you and now you were just  _ covered _ in rehydrated lube.

“Great...” you muttered, “Instant hentai: just add water.”

Oh god… you hated to think of cleaning the futons...

You rubbed your hands together, getting the… slime? Mucus? No, you really didn’t want to consider names for this right now. Off of your han-

What was…

You drew a hand up to your face slightly.

Ohhhhh my  _ god? _

SO  _ THAT’S _ WHY YOU’D SMELLED SALTED CARAMEL.

OKAY, FILE THAT IN THE LIST OF THINGS TO THINK ABOUT LATER.

You scrubbed up, trying to just… cope with all of this newness…

When you made your way back to the living room he was sitting at the table looking tense, two plates of immaculate pancakes laid out and a steaming cup of coffee ready for you.

You took a seat across from him, “Thanks for making breakfast...”

“Of course!”

There was a long pause, the two of you looking anywhere but at each other.

Okay, this… this was ridiculous.

You sighed, "Hey… Uh… we should probably have a conversation…"

He looked across at you, expression unreadable.

“I uh… well… I’ve got questions...”

He let out a sigh and nodded, “Of course. Shall we eat first?”

You had a feeling that was a good plan. Chances were you weren’t going to be functional after _ that _ conversation…

“Yeah, might be a good idea...”

Breakfast passed in relative silence. Probably the quietest meal you’d had together. When you were done he whisked the dishes off to the kitchen. You retreated to the couch, sitting down.

He joined you a moment later looking nervous, flustered.

“Ohhhkay...” you turned to him, “First, last night was… it was  _ great _ .”

Bright pink. You noticed a bit of the tension recede from him.

“Uh… there’s just...” god… where did you even start, “Okay, I have questions and they’re pretty personal and kind of weird I guess and I don’t mean to sound rude but-”

“Understandable. By all means...” he gestured.

“Okay...” you took a breath, "Well… okay… obviously your…uh…" you eyed his lower half slightly, "set up isn't… well…"

He chuckled, going a deep magenta, "It's certainly not standard, yes."

"So um… you said you can change things."

He nodded.

"How many of those do you have?"

"I manifest them as required. There isn't a set number." 

HA.

OH, GOD?

You were going to die. He looked like he might too.

"So you could just make as many as you wanted…"

"In theory."

“Does that like… wear you out? Like it’s not using up too much energy or-”

He chuckled and shook his head gently, “Your concern is touching but believe me, it’s fine. After all, I can go Mach 20, creating a few tentacles is a paltry amount of energy in comparison.”

You supposed that made sense… and you had seen him make tentacles for completely mundane purposes without issue before.

“You uh…” you made a face, “Okay like… you had that whole thing with running out of mucus back when the pool situation was going on. Is that going to be a problem?”

He laughed, “Oh, believe me, Reader-” he leaned in, green stripes crossing his face and his eyes narrowing, “You would be exhausted  _ far _ before my reserves would be.”

You tensed, feeling your face burn. You covered it with a yelp and he laughed, a hand gently coming up to brush over your hair.

“Okay… Is… there anything I should be worried about?” you took a breath, calming yourself.

“Worried?” he frowned slightly.

You put your hands back in your lap, “Well you’re made of anti-matter, like is this going to be like that one weird-ass comic plotline where Spiderman gave Mary Jane cancer or something?”

He seemed utterly alarmed by the implication, “No, no! Reader, I assure you it’s perfectly safe. I’ve  _ ensured _ that the qualities of my mucus and such aren’t harmful.”

“And that doesn’t cause you problems?”

He shook his head, “No, Reader, I’m perfectly fine.”

“You...” you took a breath, “Okay this isn’t exactly about…  _ this _ but like… you can do so much with your body...” you gestured, “I don’t really know where the line of  _ unreasonable _ is.”

“Well,” he sat back, “As you know,” he held up a hand, splitting various small tendrils off from it, “I can manifest tentacles as needed. Ah…  _ sensitive _ or not. I can merge or shape them without issue.” his hand reformed before shifting through a range of shapes, a drill, tweezers, a blade, a net… “I can liquify, as you’ve seen. The only thing that can harm me is anti-me materials. Or tentacles wielded by others. You don’t need to fret so much.”

You frowned, “I just… I’ve only ever seen you dodge or get hurt. No one’s ever come at you with anything but those that I’ve seen. I mean I know Irina did but like… I didn’t see it...”

In a flash, a knife was in his hand. Not one of the olive green anti-sensei knives but a gleaming sharp knife from your kitchen.

“Observe.” he pushed the blade into his skin, it entered smoothly.

“What are you-”

He pulled the blade back and you saw that the whole tip was gone, his hand shifted, a cup-like dip appearing, filled with molten metal, “My internal temperature can easily melt objects. Bullets liquify in me. If knives don’t melt then they glance off thanks to dilatancy. And of course, there’s my speed-” suddenly, he was holding up your knife, as good as new, “Which allows me to do far more in the time it takes my attackers to blink than they could even dream of.”

The tentacle stretched back into the kitchen and you heard the knife being put away.

“I can change colors of course.” Green stripes appeared and he chuckled, “And camouflage myself. My mucus is… It’s an all-purpose material.”

“What does that even  _ mean? _ ” you stared at him. This was a lot of information…

“It works quite well as waterproofing and can protect me as needed in that respect. It can be used as a cleaner and an adhesive. And, as you know, it replaces my blood.”

You nodded slowly, “And it seemed to work pretty well last night...”

He went neon pink, “Ah, yes. It can be useful in that respect as well.”

You relaxed, just a bit, “I can’t say that I won’t worry but that does make me feel a little better.”

He chuckled, “There’s also my senses, of course.”

“Ah, yes. The reason I smell like a Starbucks.”

He chuckled, “I told you, it’s nothing like a Starbucks.”

You suddenly remembered last night's conversation about the shower-

“WAIT, you said you knew I’d gotten off in the shower because of your sense of smell!”

Bright, neon pink. He stammered, “W-well yes but-”

“How did you know- like...”

He shifted, “Well, I had noticed it but I confirmed it that night actually. When I gave you a massage the scent was quite… strong.”

You were going to die.

Right here. Right now. 

"I'm sorry are you-" you ran your hands over your face, feeling the heat emanating from it, "Are you saying you could smell when I was turned on? Like… you could tell other times?"

"When you say it like _ that _ it sounds so much worse!" His voice was panicked, "I just happened to notice it that was all. I didn't even realize it was because of me at first I wasn’t even sure that’s what it was…"

Your face was on FIRE. You buried your face in your hands.

"Alright.” you sighed, “So… I might as well get this question out of the way. What does that ah... smell like?"

"Persimmons," he spoke softly this time, a note of fondness in his voice.

You looked up at him.

What-

“You're shitting me.”

He shook his head, “No, I'm not. Like I’ve said before, the scents that I pick up on are not what your average person might notice. There are subtleties to people’s scents, their pheromones. The closest I can equate yours to is that.”

You were actively dying.

The pink of his skin was darkening, he looked to one side, clearly flustered, “I find it lovely.”

No. You weren’t actively dying. You were just dead.

Wait, the shower-

God…

“Okay uh… so in the shower, I noticed like… I smelled caramel? Like from uh...” you gestured uselessly, “Last night?”

Oh wow, that uh…

That was  _ definitely _ pink alright.

So pink it almost hurt to look at.

“So that’s you...”

He gave a nod, clearly mortified.

“Okay… okay… that’s… a whole other mess of questions I don’t want to dig into right now. So,” you ran your hands over your face, thinking, “...is there a reason you… you’re uh...” you laughed a bit giving a sort of crooked finger gesture, this was embarrassing to ask but you were curious, “Is there a reason they’re uh… shiny?”

The pink lightened a bit, “Ah, well… That would be indicative of the number of nerve endings present. They’re much closer to the surface there.”

“Oh!”

“It’s… actually something I’m capable of manifesting elsewhere.”

“What?” you looked at him in surprise, “Wait, you can just make those appear anywhere?”

He gave a slight nod, “Or...”

He suddenly seemed nervous, tentative. His hand extended towards you and, as you watched, the pearlescence showed up across it.

Oh…

You cupped his hand very gently with yours. His breathing hitched. Carefully, you ran a finger across his palm. He shuddered, withdrawing, “For obvious reasons I don’t tend to keep my exposed skin in that state.”

That…

That gave you a lot of ideas and images that were highly unconventional and very,  _ very _ hot. You nodded, “Yeah, that makes sense...”

There was a long moment and finally, you sighed, “Alright… um… what do we do if people find out?”

He looked relieved to answer a question that  _ wasn’t _ related to his anatomy, “That particular scenario I’m still working out myself. It will largely depend on who and what they find out exactly.”

You nodded, “Okay… we can sort that out together then.”

He nodded.

After a pause, you bit your lip, “There’s something else we should probably talk about...”

He looked at you, tension coming back into his frame.

"Uh... we should probably cover some likes and dislikes?" you managed to say it but god if it wasn’t like pulling teeth… "I mean if you want to, you know… I just thought it might be a good idea if we want to keep going. I know you were worried about misunderstandings. And I think we’ve proven that we're kinda useless talking about this so far."

He was a deep magenta.

At least it wasn’t just you.

He took a breath, “I’m not certain of all of them.”

That… kinda surprised you, “Given all the things you read?”

“Reading is one thing, practice is quite another I think we can agree.”

You laughed a little and nodded, “You’re telling me.”

“I… I think the other night made it quite clear I don’t do well with being held down or restrained.” he looked a bit sheepish, scratching his head.

You nodded, “Yeah...”

“And while I do have a higher pain tolerance it’s not my preference during intimate activities...”

You chuckled a bit, “Yeah I don’t care for it either, not like… whips and stuff.”

You didn’t think there was a NAME for the shade of pink he’d gone.

“But uh… well…" you gave a little shrug trying not to look at his tentacles, "being tied down is nice...”

Green stripes cut through the pink suddenly and he chuckled, "I do remember that interesting little fact from the ferry.~"

You covered your face, laughing.  _ Fuck. _

You’d almost forgotten that conversation…

“Mostly I just want to be able to stop if I need to…” you looked up at him.

He seemed to relax significantly at that, “Of course.”

"God… I don't know it might be easier to list what we like?" you volunteered, “I can at least think of those...”

“Ah… well...” he was back to pink.

“I can go first, Cuddle Fish.” you couldn’t help but chuckle, he was  _ so _ out of sorts.

His attention was laser-focused on you instantly.

Hoo boy… here it goes…

"I… well… you know I like bondage. Just… not super hardcore stuff? Having my wrists tied or mylegstiedopenisnice." you were rapidly losing confidence in your ability to talk about this without screaming, "Shibari is really nice too…"

Tension was coming back into his posture, his pink deepening as you spoke.

"I uh… I like edging? Like… dragging it out? Making it take a while or uhgoingmultiplerounds." HA, God you were going to DIE.

When he spoke there was a breathless quality to his voice, "I would love to do that with you."

You looked up at him, sheepish, "Which one?"

He leaned in just a bit, his voice wavering with a shudder, " _ Both _ ."

OHHHHHHH KAY WELL UH…

Fucking hell you weren’t going to make it through this next sentence. NEVERMIND this conversation.

"I… well I'm…" you managed a smile, "I really like your voice."

His expression flickered from surprise to something more mischievous. He leaned in, his voice dipping slightly lower, “Oh? Do you now?~”

_ FUCK. _

You covered your face with your hands.

He laughed and you found yourself pulled over slightly. You buried your face in his chest, “Canyounotkillmebeforewegetanotherchancetotdothat?!”

He laughed harder and kissed the top of your head, a hand petting your back gently.

God…

You steadied yourself and looked up at him, “I’m… kind of a sub. I think that's pretty obvious.”

“I have a feeling you’re a bit of both.” he chuckled softly, “You’ve certainly been instigating things quite a bit.”

“Okayyeahmaybe.” you buried your face back in his chest, “I like… I dunno… gentle dominance?”

"Could you give me an example?"

HA WELL  _ FUCK! _

"Wellwhenyoupickedmeupatyourplacethatwasagoodstart."

His grin sharpened, "Is that so?~"

"And I'm… when you had me against the door… I just… I know if I said something you'd stop. So it's comfortable…" you were getting overwhelmed here, you needed a break, "Um… I'm not really sure what else…"

He took a breath, looking down at you, "I'm sure you might have noticed that there are a few things that catch my interest."

You leaned back, looking up at him, "Boobs."

He laughed, "Yes, I admit, those are always lovely."

You thought about it for a moment, "From what Okajima said you enjoy office-based porn mags."

Neon pink, voice spiking in alarm, "What?!"

You grinned, it was nice turning the tables on him, "Yeah." 

"Well, yes but that ah…" he faltered a bit, "that's in magazines, this is different."

Different…

Hm...

"Yeah?~" you smirked at him, letting the question linger.

"Yes. Not that I haven't had my thoughts about it but I think we can both agree that work would not be an ideal place for romantic encounters." He was clearly very worked up about this.

He'd  _ definitely _ thought about doing you at work.

That… that gave you even more ideas...

You laughed, "Well, yeah, I'm just trying to figure out what you like. I'm not saying we should go fuck in the classroom."

Whoa, that was a very,  _ very _ dark pink.

You shrugged a little, enjoying not being the one squirming right now, "I mean there's other ways of handling that anyway. Roleplay… costumes…" you grinned at him. 

Ohhh you couldn't  _ not _ throw this at him…

You leaned in, doing your best to look coy as you put a hand on one of his legs, "Sensei… will you teach me a thing or two?~"

He  _ shrieked _ . 

Oh my God.

He was  _ SO _ easy.

You couldn’t help but laugh. Leaning in, you kissed him gently, “See?”

He nodded, covering his face.

"So… anything else?"

He was neon pink, shifting awkwardly, "I…"

You watched him.

Was this going to be something weird? If it was like…

What kind of weird kink would _ the octopus _ have?

"I…" he started again but seemed to be failing at getting the words out.

"You?" you couldn't help but smirk just a bit.

He was  _ adorable _ .

The silence stretched on for a long moment and you reached out, taking his hand, "Look… I  _ loved _ last night.  _ Loved it. _ It was one of the best experiences of my life. I'm… well I'm a little surprised you're so shy about these things but… you can tell me what you want. It's okay."

He seemed to relax but only a bit.

One hand came up to cup your cheek, a finger grazing across your lips.

Ohhh…

_ Oh my god. _

With a smirk you reached up, taking his finger into your mouth and sucking on it.

"READER!" his voice pitched upward in alarm, his eyes going wide.

_ Oh fuck- _

Too much.

"No? Is that not uh…" fuck you should have just asked, "Shit, I'm sorry i-"

He caught his breath, "No, no! I just… that… ah…  _ yes _ ."

As he squeezed your hand you noticed his was shaking.

Jeez, just from _ that?  _

You grinned at him, "So… you  _ do _ have a thing for that. I kinda figured..."

He was a wreck oh my god. Bright pink, breathless, and wide-eyed. He nodded.

What a  _ darling _ .

You laughed and hugged him tightly. His heart was pounding.

Oh, you could think of so many ways to tease him with that…

He wrapped his arms around you.

You looked up at him with a little grin, "Good because that makes you make the  _ best _ noises." he made a strangled sound of embarrassment, "Also that's like… really tame… I thought it was going to be something weird with all that build-up!"

He waved his tendrils in defense, "No! It's just… I…"

This poor dude…

You reached out, pulling him down against you as you laid back on the couch. Gently, you ran your hand over his back. He buried his face in your chest.

There was a soft sigh from him.

“I suppose it  _ is _ tame… but...” he was quiet for a long moment, “It’s an act that you don’t get any satisfaction from. It feels-”

You laughed, “Who said I don’t get anything from it?”

He didn’t look up, his skin had gone neon pink.

You nuzzled him, speaking softly, “I get to hear you and see you and taste you… that’s really hot.”

There was a muffled shriek from your chest and you laughed harder, hugging him.

He looked up, panic on his features, “But it feels too  _ aggressive! _ ”

You raised an eyebrow at him, “I don’t think you even  _ moved _ when I did that. Besides… what part of ‘I’m kind of a sub’ did you miss?”

HA oh god, what were you _ saying? _

It was easier when he was the one panicking but suddenly you felt your face heating up. He was still looking anxious.

Fucking precious.

“I mean I did tell you I’m not going to break...”

“Reader...” he sat up, real concern crossing his features, “I asked the tentacles to make me weak… but my skills could still be very damaging to you…”

“Damaging? I thought you said I had nothing to worry about.” You looked at him for a long moment.

“You don’t… not…” there was a minor note of panic to his voice “You don’t have to worry about my chemical composition harming you. But I could still hurt you by mistake!”

“You didn’t hurt me last night.” you sat up, looking at him, “And you don’t generally make mistakes… I mean… okay so you did this morning but I think that was my fault.”

“I was being  _ careful _ .” his voice softened, “I don’t  _ ever _ want to hurt you...”

This man had been known as the Reaper because of how many he'd killed. And here he was fretting over the  _ mere possibility _ of hurting you by accident.

New goal before your time together was up:

You were going to help him get comfortable with all of this...

Reaching out, you took his hands, “Hey, relax. We’re figuring this out together, yeah? It’s going to be fine.”

He looked at you, tension slowly melting away from him.

“Uh… I kinda have another question...”

“What is it?”

"Well, I noticed you kind of… well you get slick but… you don't seem to actually…"

He went a deep pink, tension immediately coming back into his features, "No, I don't ejaculate if that's what you're asking. It's possible, I've just… ah... never wanted to deal with the mess."

"What if I dealt with it instead?"

FUCK.

_ AUTOPILOT. _

OH GOD.

His eyes widened, "Are you saying you'd  _ like _ me to?"

HA well okay shit fuck uh, "I mean if you want to we could try it. We don't have to but… I mean…"

Your panic seemed to ease his, green strips were slowly fading into his features, "That isn't what I asked.~"

OH GOD, COOL. 

_ GREAT.  _

WHY DID YOU TELL HIM YOU LIKED HIS VOICE?

SHIT.

"Kinda? I mean… I don't want you to think it's like…  _ required  _ or something. It just seems like it might be hot…"

He chuckled. Yeah, those green stripes were out in force now, "I would be willing to try if you would."

HAHAHAHAHAH  _ FUCK. _

Tentacles lifted you, settling you onto his lap, "So what other questions do you have?"

You rubbed at your face, trying to get your embarrassment under control, "I kind of… want to see you… if it's alright. I mean I've seen the tentacles but not where they come from… Like for all I know you’ve got a beak down there or something."

He lost his mind laughing, “A BEAK?”

“WHAT?! YOU LOOK LIKE AN OCTOPUS!”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Reader but my anatomy is HARDLY like an octopus.”

“Well, _ duh _ but… I don’t know! Hell, I wasn’t even sure if you had ANYTHING until last night! Maybe that was why you had two toothbrushes!”

He was out of breath by this point, “WHAT?”

“MAYBE ONE WAS FOR THE BEAK!”

He was still laughing. You huffed.

When he'd finally calmed down he looked at you.

"If… you would like to see… ah…" he took a moment, "You… You did say you wanted to see… a solo intimate activity…"

_ Ohhhh… _

You nodded slowly.

"We could do that… if you like."

You nodded, "Yeah. I think I would."

The two of you sat there for a moment, nervous energy running through you.

You looked up at him, "When?"

"I… don't have plans this evening..." His voice was filled with anxious excitement.

You laughed a bit, feeling your face burning, "Okay well… your place or mine?"

"Perhaps mine would be for the best… we'd rather not disturb the neighbors a second time."

You froze and buried your face in your hands.

Oh  _ god _ . 

_ You'd forgotten about the neighbors. _

“Now, we should get ready.”

“Get… ready?”

He looked at you in surprise, “Reader, opening ceremonies for the second term are today.”

“TODAY?!”

Shit, how the fuck did you forget-

Well, no, you  _ knew _ how but-

Hoooooooooo boy this was going to be something.

He chuckled, “Let’s get going.”


	92. Chains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

The dash to the morning assembly was hectic. You couldn’t believe you’d forgotten about opening ceremonies today. On top of that, there was this business with Takebayashi to sort out. You had a feeling you’d be speaking with several students today. That is if Ritsu hadn’t already informed them.

The octopus dashed away after dropping you off. He apparently had a meeting with the Principal about this latest classroom development.

When you came into the assembly hall you saw your class already there along with Karasuma and Irina. They exchanged a look as you approached. Karasuma gave you a slight nod and Irina an indifferent wave.

What the hell was the look about-

Karasuma looked over at you as you took up your position next to them, “You’re going to be required today.”

“Takebayashi. I know.” you looked at him.

He seemed surprised, “You know?”

“He told me he was considering it before the Okinawa trip.”

“Think you could maybe clue us in next time?” Irina snarked.

Karasuma looked… what was that look? Annoyed maybe? Mildly concerned?

Why was everyone so surprised you were keeping the student’s private talks private? That was part of your job. Takebayashi’s choice, Yada coming out, Okano’s frustration… none of these things directly affected their assassination plans. Not really.

Besides, it could be their last year.

Shouldn’t they be allowed to make choices for themselves?

“Didn’t seem important to the plan.” you shrugged.

Karasuma’s brow twitched, “It is. Even one student leaving lessens our chances. This was also short notice, the government doesn’t care for those.”

You took a breath, “He’s a student. He’s a child. They didn’t sign up for this. They should have the option to leave if they chose. It’s their right.”

“It is and I respect his decision, but you should have informed us.”

“Privacy is part of my job. If it's not related to the octopus then what does it matter?” you looked back to the stage as the ceremonies began.

He went quiet.

The ceremonies were similar to the first semester's, covering events and club changes in the upcoming term, enforcement of the status quo, and general school-related activities. You were considering who was going to break the news to the kids about Takebayashi as things were wrapping up. Korosensei? You? Maybe Karasuma…?

“And now before we close the ceremony I have an important announcement to make.”

It was the same little shithead announcer from the first semester and he sounded like he had something up his sleeve.

“Class 3-A will have a new classmate starting today. Until yesterday, he was a student of Class E.” 

Oh.

_ Fuck. _

You should have seen this coming, of course, the school would make a big deal out of this.

“However, he worked diligently to improve his grades and has earned permission to return to the main building. Let's all hear about how happy he is to be back! Takebayashi Kotaro!”

The boy strode out onto the stage, taking up position behind the podium. He unfolded something.

Oh no…

His glasses reflected the light, obscuring his eyes. He looked tense, almost angry.

“I spent the last four months in Class E.”

His tone was severe, matter of fact, and heartbreaking.

“And the environment there was, to put it bluntly, a living hell.”

Oh, ow, kid, come on…

“My classmates had no drive. The teachers had given up on us. I realized the price of my slacking and I was forced to pay it. I wanted to return to the main campus. For that, I studied as if my life depended on it. I even changed my attitude toward my everyday life. From the bottom of my heart, I'm overjoyed that I've been given a second chance. I will work hard so that I will never fall into Class E again. Thank you.”

He gave a bow to the assembled students and as he did so, a single person clapping rang out.

The principal’s son was walking across the stage. The boy showed no traces of his tense anger from the last time you’d seen him. No, instead he was chipper and pleasant.

“Welcome back, Takebayashi.”

At his words, the entire room erupted into applause. Cries of adulation were called out.

“Welcome back! Great job!”

“You’re awesome, Takebayashi!”

“I knew you were different from the rest of them!”

The boy looked… happy. He was flushed with pride and accomplishment.

Like so much in this classroom, it left you torn. You were proud of him. Proud of what he’d managed.

But at the same time…

This was not the way you’d hoped it would go…

Your students were standing there, still in shock, looking defeated. You hadn’t seen that look since the failed attempt on Okinawa.

You didn’t care for it.

The assembly wrapped up and you helped Karasuma herd the kids outside and back up the mountain. It was a silent march of frustration and anger.

Which exploded the second you got to the classroom.

“What is his problem?!” Maehara slammed a fist against the blackboard, “I can't believe he's giving up the ten million to go back THERE!”

“Hey now...” you held up your hands, “I know this is a shock but Takebayashi made a choice-”

Kimura looked over at you, upset, “He said this place was a living hell!”

Okano was nodding, “They might have made him say that but I still can't believe he did it!”

You had to admit, you could understand their anger. And they, on some level, had a right to it. He didn’t have to take parting shots at E Class like that…

Then again maybe he  _ did _ to get back to the campus…

Asano seemed the type to require groveling.

“It’s infuriating. I know.” you looked at them, “But we do have to consider Takebayashi’s position.”

“What position?” Karma snarked, “The way I see it he’s giving up the bounty and making the most  _ boring _ choice for what to do with the last few months if the world ends.”

Megu was sitting at her desk looking frustrated, “Takebayashi's grades did skyrocket but that's because he had Korosensei as his teacher! I think it's really disrespectful of him to forget that.”

She had a point but given what the boy had told you...

Nagisa was looking at you, curious and Fuwa seemed to pick up on it.

“Wait… Mx. Reader… did you _ know? _ ”

Ohhhh boy here we go.

You gave a nod, “Yes.”

“Well, why didn’t you TELL us?!” Sugino, normally such a casual kid, looked pissed.

“Because I couldn’t.” 

“What do you mean?” it was Nagisa, “Why not?”

“Some of you have come to me or I’ve come to you about issues that you’re having or have had. Those things were told to me in confidence. They were things that troubled you. Should I tell the class those things as well?”

You could see a few of the kids exchanging looks.

“But this is different. It affects the assassination!” Maehara rounded on you, “And you’re supposed to give us information that relates to it!”

“I am, yes. But it doesn’t affect the assassination. This is Takebayashi’s choice to make.”

“Why is the government allowing it though?” Nagisa asked, “Isn’t it going to be a liability?”

“No. It’s not.” the voice came from Karasuma by the door, “I’ve already spoken with Takebayashi about the subject and I’m certain that, given his situation, he won’t share what he knows.”

“Puttin' an awful lot of faith in him, aren't ya? Who's to say he won't just run and sell his story to the press or something?" Karma tipped his head, curious.

“We’d wipe his memory before it got to that point.” 

Karasuma said it so  _ casually… _

So bluntly…

“You _ what? _ You can  _ do _ that?” you stared at him.

“Don’t be naive.” he crossed his arms, “Of course we can do that.”

They couldn’t kill the octopus but they could fuck with some kid’s memory.

They could pull whatever shit was happening with Itona.

Who the fuck were you working for really?

“Save your protests.” he cut you off before you could speak, “It’s already done.” he looked to the class, “Takebayashi will be starting this term at the main campus. I still expect the rest of you to put in the work for this mission.”

There were some nods of acknowledgment from the class and he made his way off down the hall.

You were fuming but what the hell could you do. How could you even approach this?

Fuck did you hate feeling helpless.

Maehara was still pissed, “I'm not going to just sit and take what he said at the ceremony! Let's go give him a piece of our mind after school!”

Well, fuck.

There was no way you were letting that go unsupervised.

"Please, I understand you're all angry, but please don't be too harsh on him."

The voice came from the back of the class.

From a large black box.

All attention turned to the one member of the class who wasn’t human.

"Ritsu…" Nakamura said softly.

"Takebayashi is my friend. You are also my friends. He didn't mean what he said on stage."

Terasaka rolled his eyes, "How would you know?" 

"Because he talked to me about it. He asked me not to tell the class."

Hinano sighed, "But why?"

Ritsu shook her head, "All I can say is that I understand the logic behind his actions even if I don't want him to leave."

"Yeah…It's not really our place to explain." You pitched in, "I think it's something best heard from Takebayashi himself.”

The students didn’t look satisfied in the slightest.

Given it was the opening ceremony day things were a bit more relaxed. Allowing students to get accustomed to the routines of school life again. The majority of the day ended up devoted to drills. Karasuma excused you on the grounds of you ‘needing to prepare your lesson plan’ but you had a feeling he just didn’t want to deal with any pointed conversations you might have for him.

You’d othered yourself in the classroom yet again.

Great.

You were going over your lesson plans in the quiet of the nurse’s office, considering how best to approach the next lesson when the octopus arrived. You heard the rush of air and when you looked up he was sitting across from you.

“Oh!”

“I take it the assembly came as a shock.” he was matter of fact about it.

Fuck.

Was he going to be upset with you too?

“Yeah, to everyone pretty much. They’re all pissed I didn’t tell them I knew.” you pinched your brow for a moment, “My job is to take care of everyone and sometimes that means I have to do things like this...”

He gave a small nod, “I understand. It is quite a conundrum.”

“How did your meeting with Asano go?”

“As expected. He feels justified in his actions of course and, as much as it may gall me, he has a right to be. He is teaching the children that their hard work will be rewarded. That they can rise above their negative situations. And it is within the school’s method of teaching so there’s nothing I can do to prevent Takebayashi from leaving.” he sounded as unsatisfied as the children.

“I hope you don’t feel poorly towards Takebayashi about this...” you said softly.

_ Or me. _

A note of surprise entered his voice, “Of course not! The boy’s reasons are quite sound even if I’m not keen on seeing him go.”

“I wish the kids could understand that. They’re going to talk to him this afternoon. I plan on going with them. I think he could use a little support.”

He nodded, “I do think that would be best. While the boy is making a choice I disagree with, he is still our student.”

You relaxed just a bit, “I’m happy to hear that… he was really worried that the classroom was going to hate him and given today’s reaction I’m concerned.”

He regarded you for a long moment.

“You see something of yourself in him.”

You looked up at him in surprise.

“Takebayashi, as I’m sure you have noticed, has struggled in this classroom. He does quite well in your class, naturally, but in all else, he’s had to work incredibly hard.”

“I don’t follow…”

“He feels like an outsider.”

You froze.

You had spent months in this classroom. You had integrated fairly well by this point. But…

There were moments.

Moments like Okinawa.

You weren’t in line with the classroom’s mission.

_ “It's just that you're really protective. It seems like you'd want to try to kill him." _

You were protective of more than the children…

And it was difficult…

“As I’ve told you before, Reader, you belong here. Just as much as Takebayashi belongs here. You are a counterweight to the lessons we teach.”

His words from Hiroshima rose in your mind again.

_ “If the children succeed then they have their whole lives ahead of them. What I teach comes from an unusual place. Your teaching is far more inclined to help them after…” _

“I’m not certain they see it that way...”

He chuckled, “Well, you just so happen to be a little opposition to them. Sometimes that’s our role as teachers. They do have to learn how to handle conflicting ideals. It helps them to become well-rounded adults.”

“True… Wish it didn’t extend to the staff though.”

He laughed, “Now, now I’m sure Mr. Karasuma is just frustrated. His job is very tense, after all. Much is expected of him and, I’m not sure if you noticed, but he’s not a fan of things not going as planned.”

You snorted, “That’s an understatement.”

It was still so strange having these sorts of conversations now that the two of you were more intimate. Knowing who he was, what he was like in the quiet of his own home, seeing him vulnerable…

These conversations almost felt like a show.

Almost but not quite.

“Speaking of, I should return to drills. I’m certain Mr. Karasuma will be significantly more irritated if I don’t.” green stripes crossed his face.

He had every intention of annoying the shit out of Karasuma.

You laughed a bit, “Yeah, yeah go on.”

He paused by the door and looked back at you, “Reader...”

You looked up at him.

“Thank you for taking care of our students.”

“It’s my job.”

And with that, he was gone.

You turned back to your papers and-

Oh…

Sitting in front of you, wrapped in cloth, was a bundle with a small card that read Happy Anniversary.

What…?

Your phone buzzed and you jumped in surprise, pulling it out.

It was, of course, from him.

[Happy Anniversary!]

[Anniversary?]

[It's been a month since we've been together! I couldn’t arrange it for the actual date given the circumstances.]

You laughed.

Oh my god, what a nerd…

[We’re going to celebrate each month?]

[Well, with so few together we ought to cherish them, right?]

Oh… that…

You felt tears well up and smiled.

[Yeah. We should.]

[Then you wouldn’t mind joining me for dinner tonight?]

That was fucking adorable.

[That sounds wonderful.]

And here you were worried he might be upset with you…

You looked down at the small package in front of you and untied the cloth to reveal a box. You opened it carefully and- 

Inside, nestled on a little square of cotton was a glass pendant on a black cord.

A pressed paper crane of blue, green, and gold preserved in resin.

You pulled it out of the box and looped the cord over your head. It hung against your breastbone. You picked up your phone.

[The gift is beautiful, thank you.]

[I thought something subtle would be appropriate for the classroom.]

[Guess I’m telling them my family gave it to me.]

[That would be for the best. Also, be sure not to wear it during drills, that could be dangerous.]

You laughed a bit and shook your head.

[Yeah, definitely not.]

[See you tonight.]

[Sure thing, Cuddle Fish.]

“What are you grinning at your phone about?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin. It was Irina leaning in the doorway looking annoyed as usual. You locked your phone and tucked it away, closing the box.

“Oh, just got a gift from family. That’s all.”

She squinted at you suspiciously and leaned over, eyeing the necklace.

“Cute...” She swiped up the wrapping and read the card, eyeing you, “Happy Anniversary?”

“Huh?” the card, _ fuck _ , “Uh, yeah, they send me something every year on the day I moved here.”

She didn’t look like she believed you but put the wrapping back on your desk, “You told them about the birds then?”

“Yeah, told them it was a class project.” you squirreled the wrapping papers away into your bag.

Fucking hell.

“Mn...” she went to stand by the table where you had them hanging, “Kids better pick up the pace, huh?”

“I guess. I mean...” They’ve been doing pretty well.

“Almost two hundred in four months? They know shit’s going down in March, right?”

“Yeah...” you got up and moved to join her, “I think they can do it though.”

She considered you for a long moment, “So, what do you think about this whole Takebayashi thing?”

…

Was she taking an interest in one of the students? What?

“It’s rough. Not happy with how he did it but I get why he did it.”

“Hm…”

“You pissed I didn’t share that info too?” you gave her a look.

She scoffed, “No, why would I care?”

“Seems like everyone’s got an opinion on it.”

She shrugged, “It’s not got anything to do with me or the plan. You should have told Karasuma. He was up half the night preparing for this.”

“...how do you know he was up half the night?”

Was that… was she blushing?

“He told me about it. Anyway, I’ve got shit to do.”

She made an abrupt exit.

…

Interesting.

After school you joined the students in the trek down the mountain. You’d gotten a text that the octopus would pick you up a bit later at the station. But for now, there was something more pressing to attend to. The kids spread out, waiting for Takebayashi. They looked as tense as they had been on Okinawa.

“There he is.” Okano pointed out.

Maehara shouted, “Oi! Takebayashi!”

You watched the boy freeze, take a breath, and then stride over.

Isogai approached him, ever polite, “Care to explain? Why didn't you discuss this with us?”

“Yeah, Ritsu and Doc have been pretty tight-lipped about it.” Karma drawled, looking over at him. He was the only one who looked moderately relaxed.

Takebayashi looked at you, his eyes widened slightly.

He hadn’t been sure you’d keep quiet.

“There's a reason for this, right?” Okuda asked, leaning forward, “You helped out so much during the summer vacation trip!! Didn’t you enjoy your time in E Class?”

“Ten billion. And the reward will be increased if we kill him together.” Karma’s voice was laced with its usual goading, “I guess you don't need your share, Takebayashi. How selfless of you.~”

“Karma, there’s no need for tha-” you started to speak but Takebayashi cut you off.

The boy pushed up his glasses, his voice coming out matter of factly, “One billion at most. I'd never be able to get the ten billion on my own. Even if I were able to help to successfully kill him in a group, the help I'd be able to provide would probably be worth about one billion yen… at most.” 

The other students were staring at him in surprise. He looked up at them, “My family has been running a hospital for generations. My two older brothers are in the Todai Medical Department. A billion yen is something my family could earn by  _ working _ . The house motto is,  _ "Of course you can do it." _ But I can’t.”

His voice was automatic much like his speech this morning but there was a tension in it.

“Being incapable, I'm not treated as part of the family. Even if I win that one billion my family will never accept me.  _ "Good for you. You're one lucky kid" _ That's all they'd say.” 

He shouldered his bag, “I was able to report my grades to my parents for the first time yesterday. That I received the top class grades, and that I could leave Class E. My father didn't even look up from his paper but he said the first thing to acknowledge me in months. He said ‘You worked hard. You were able to hang on by a thread.’” 

And for the first time, the boy’s voice cracked, pain breaking through as he raised his voice, 

“Do you have any idea how hard I studied just to hear that?! To me being accepted by my family is far more important than the end of this world- or ten billion yen.”

The class stood there, quiet and dumbfounded. He turned his back on them, “I know that I'm a traitor and that I'm being ungrateful… but I pray that your assassination goes well.”

Nagisa tried to follow him, “Wait, Takebaya-”

Kanzaki reached out, grabbing his arm, “Don't, Nagisa.” her voice was gentle but filled with its own pain, “Family ties are like chains. They bind you to an extremely painful place and don't let go. So don't try to forcefully pull him away. Pulling just makes them tighter.”

Takebayashi made his way down the street, pulling out his phone. The kids shifted amongst themselves.

You looked over at them, “I’m not going to defend what he said at the assembly. I know that was painful for all of you. But I hope that you understand why he made this choice and why he didn’t want to share it before.”

A few of them still looked bitter but Isogai was the one who spoke up, “We do, Mx. Reader...”

You gave them a nod, “I’ll see all of you tomorrow. If there’s anything you need please let me know. Even if it’s just to talk.”

There were a few scattered nods. Slowly, they began to break off into groups, heading home.

You made your way to the station.

What a first day this had been...


	93. Conversations in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

He was waiting for you at the station, rosy-cheeked and happy. As you approached he chuckled, “It looks stunning on you.”

You reached up, touching the pendant.

"I feel bad I didn't get you anything…"

He chuckled, "You didn't know I was planning it and besides…" he leaned in, his grin quirking up, "I've already got you."

Fuck.

You felt your face burn and laughed a little.

Wait.

WAIT.

“Wait I do have something for you! Can we stop by my place?”

He seemed surprised but nodded, “Of course!”

He dropped you off on your balcony and you quickly ran to your closet, hauling out a change of clothes and the sealed tube with the poster print you’d made for him.

Now seemed as good a time as any to give it to him…

“And what is that?” he was leaning over your shoulder.

You jumped, laughing, “Don’t scare me like that! It’s your gift.”

His eyes widened slightly, “Oh?”

You nodded, offering it to him.

He accepted it and carefully opened the tube, sliding the print out.

He unrolled it and-

Damn. Instantly vibrant pink.

He looked shocked, looking between you and the poster frantically.

You laughed, “Well, I mean, I figure if you’re going to have photos of me up it might as well match the rest of the decor, right?”

He still couldn’t seem to decide where he should be looking but his eyes kept straying back to the poster in hand, “Reader, I really appreciate- wowyoulookamazing... Ah... ”

“Told you I don’t mind.” you smirked, “Little better than the kigurumi, right?”

He swiftly rolled it back up, tucking it in the tube, “The kigurumi is very cute but… yes..”

You hugged him, “This one’s a little more your speed I think.”

Bright pink.

Fuckin’ adorable.

“So, dinner yeah?”

He gave a nod, still flustered, and gathered you up in his robes.

"I thought we could have dinner at my place. It seems a touch more intimate for a romantic meal."

You nodded, "Sure…"

"So, how did the meeting with Takebayashi go?"

You were flying out to his place, wrapped securely against him.

You sighed, "The kids aren't happy but I think they get it now."

"Good. I do hope Takebayashi adapts well to the main campus. I plan to check in on him."

"Yeah?" You glanced up at him, away from the coast that was rapidly speeding past.

"Yes, given his situation I do think a reminder is in order. His choices, as you have said, are his. We should be certain he's making them for the right reasons."

"Just… Don't try to pressure him? It sounds like he already gets enough of that."

"Of course not!" He settled down, gathering you in his arms. Today there was no blizzard but there was cloud cover.

Where the hell was this place anyway? Was this even his place in Japan?

You’d have to ask at some point...

He carried you inside, setting you down gently. As you took off your shoes you heard a familiar rush of air and when you looked up-

The lights had been dimmed, there were candles lit and dinner laid out on the kotatsu.

Oh my god…

What an adorable nerd.

He drew you over gently, 

On the table was an expertly prepared platter of sushi, drinks, and tiramisu.

He'd remembered the things you loved.

You both settled in under the warmth of the kotatsu. It was cozy, the soft light from the candles flickered across the table and soft music was playing from somewhere in the room.

It was all so cheesy… cliche… ridiculous…

But goddammit.

You loved it.

"I wasn't certain of your favorites so I thought an assortment would be best." He chuckled, gesturing to the sushi, "The tiramisu is from that lovely little shop near your apartment."

"You mean the one not anywhere near my apartment that you brought me a slice from when I was sick?" 

He went pink.

"Well, yes. But you weren't well I thought you could use a pick me up!"

You chuckled, "And I appreciated it… hey…"

He looked across at you, he'd been in the middle of plating some sushi for himself.

"Um…Thanks for this…"

"For what?"

"Well, dinner, the anniversary, the gift… I wasn't really expecting it."

He chuckled, setting down his chopsticks, "That  _ is _ the concept of a surprise."

"I- I know but… After today I thought- I was worried you'd be mad about the Takebayashi situation too…"

He faltered, "Reader… no. We're both teachers and I respect your approach to the work."

"It's just… You were right before, about feeling like an outsider. It's… Well… I've felt like that for most of my life."

"And it puts you in a unique position. You can understand our students."

"You understand them too though."

"Not entirely…" he looked down for a moment, "It's true, I have been an outsider but in a much more extreme way. I didn't have a remotely normal childhood nor a standard livelihood. While I do try my best, there are gaps in my knowledge that books don't fill. That is why I am grateful for you, Mr. Karasuma and Ms. Irina. I learn as much from each of you as the students do."

"Yeah? Been doing the math for the volume of those tits of hers?"

"Reader!"

You laughed, "You probably already figured that out." he went pink and you smirked, "I appreciate it."

His expression was soft, his voice filled with fondness, "Also, it would be quite unfair to be angry with you for showing discretion when I've asked you to use discretion with my own secrets."

"I just want the children to be able to make their own choices. They deserve that I think…"

The memory of Terasaka’s eyes welling up with tears came to mind. The boys sharp words rang in your ears.

_ “I didn’t ASK to be signed up for this. None of us did.” _

The octopus nodded, "That is something I can certainly agree with… though I do still worry that they might end up in danger."

"Hey…"

He focused on you as you held out a hand, pinkie extended, "I swear, I'll always tell you if any of the kids are in danger, okay?"

He melted and clasped a finger around yours, "Okay."

The soft music switched over and-

You recognized that tune…

You barked out a laugh before you could stop yourself.

This idiot was playing 'Careless Whisper'. 

He was  _ actually playing _ 'Careless Whisper'.

Un-ironically.

In a romantic setting.

You were dying

He simply grinned at you.

You didn't have the heart to tell him to change it.

You turned your attention to dinner instead.

The sushi was perfect. It practically melted in your mouth. The tiramisu?  _ Did _ melt in your mouth. You caught him staring a time or two as you were savoring the meal and finally smirked across at him, "If I didn't know better I'd think you have a food fetish."

He went neon pink, sputtering and tripping over his words to explain himself, "No, no! It's simply that youlookcharmingwhenyou'reenjoyingsomething!"

"Mmm… I'm sure it has  _ nothing _ to do with my mouth then."

Alarmed octopus noises, " _ Reader! _ "

You laughed.

God.

He was so  _ easy _ .

After dinner was done and dishes cleared away (which involved you demanding he let you help) the pair of you snuggled down under the blanket of the kotatsu. You were full, warm, and content with tentacles curled around you.

Your hands explored his form. It was grounding being with him like this.

Peaceful. Settling.

The contact was exactly what you needed. It seemed to be what he needed too. Closeness and quiet, sleepy intimacy.

While his body was simple it still felt like there was so much to discover. The way his breath hitched when you ran your fingers along his neck. How sensitive he could be about his sides. The fact that, yes, he was chubby in some manner. How that worked with his body composition you had no idea but it was adorable. And you told him as much.

He gave a flustered sound in response and pulled you closer.

It was dim, the lights of the candles flickering in the dark made the whole thing feel hushed, almost secret. As if you were the only people in the world.

You nuzzled against his neck, enjoying the small sound of pleased surprise he made.

"You're fantastic." You spoke with one hand stroking his cheek and your mouth against his neck, letting the heat of your words linger on his throat. 

"As are you." He was petting your hair softly, “So… when  _ did _ you take that delightful photo exactly?”

Your laugh was muffled by his front, “The day before yesterday.”

He looked down at you in surprise, “Really now?”

“While you were out inviting the kids to the festival.”

He went a deep pink, nuzzling you, “I do appreciate it.”

“Mmmhm I’m sure you do.~” you teased.

There were flustered sounds from him and you laughed.

“I have no idea why.” you shook your head, “I’m not really-”

A tentacle was pressed to your mouth and you looked up at him in surprise.

“I won’t hear it. You’re lovely.”

You huffed.

You still didn’t get it.

What he saw in you.

You were a hot mess most of the time. Then again… so was he you supposed.

“That’s your detective face again.” he smirked, removing the tentacle from your mouth, “What is puzzling you this time?”

“You don’t want to hear it.” you peeked up at him.

He eyed you, “What is it?”

“I just… I don’t know. I don’t know how you love me, I guess.”

He stared at you for a long moment and then laughed, pulling you close, “It’s incredibly easy!

Though I’m afraid you might combust if I tell you the reasons given your handling of compliments.”

“Why do I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway?”

The chuckle you got in response was devilish, “That smile, to start. Such a  _ distraction _ . Absolutely charming. That laugh of yours is one of my favorite sounds. Your form? Lovely. Completely stunning. I’m shocked that you think otherwise.”

You were already starting to die inside, embarrassment welling up, your face burning.

“Outside of that, you are passionate. Determined. Filled with concern for others, with outrage at injustice, you  _ care _ . That is an attractive quality if I ever saw one. You make mistakes. You get angry. But you’re not above apologies and you want to compromise. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be teaching with me.” he chuckled, “You’ve been hurt, but you’re still here. Still reaching out for others. For connection… even with our circumstances... I think that’s admirable.”

“How?”

“Reader, I am living my life to the fullest. Doing everything I can to make this time enjoyable for myself and for those around me. I know the ending to my story. I know where I will end up just as you do...” he quieted, “There are plenty of people who would see this relationship as a trial.”

“What?” you looked at him in surprise, “What do you mean?”

“There are people who leave one another over terminal illness, disability, loss, differences of politics, religion, opinion… I was quite prepared for you to leave when I told you my situation. Of my history. It’s at odds with your beliefs. At odds with your pain. I’m an emotional investment that I wasn’t sure you-”

You kissed him, shutting him up. He made a sound of surprise and wrapped his arms around you a little tighter. When you parted you gave him a look, “You’re an emotional  _ asset _ . I’m never meeting another person like you ag-”

He laughed, putting a finger to your lips, “I understand that. I’m simply  _ explaining _ .”

You were pulled in for another kiss and then you buried your face in his neck, “Idon’tlikehearingyousaythingslikethat.”

“Things like…?” you felt his hand on your back.

“Things that make you seem like a problem to me...”

“And that is why I won’t hear you belittle yourself,” he smirked down at you.

…

Goddammit.

You glared at him. He'd gotten you and he knew it.

“...Okay, point taken.”

He laughed, nuzzling you, “You don’t have to sound so bitter about being told you’re lovely!”

“Compliments are my weaaaaakness.” you groaned, struggling to get out of his embrace.

He simply held you closer, “But Reader! You’re absolutely enchanting! You make the cutest faces when you’re thinking!”

“Augh!” you tried, overdramatically, to get out of his arms but it was no use.

“And you’re simply stunning.” he chuckled by your ear, “A complete joy to be around.”

“I GIVE!” you laughed, putting a hand on his face, “You’re killing me here.”

He chuckled, kissing your cheek, “Oh no, I could do _much_ _worse_ to cause that.”

That tone was going to be the death of you. You buried your face in his front with a yelp.

A hand brushed your hair back gently, “Reader...”

You looked up at him, just slightly.

He paused, taking a breath, “I have done terrible things in my lifetime. Things that I can’t make up for. Which is why I want to spend this last year without any regrets.”

Where was this going?

"But to do that there's something I need you to do."

"What?"

He cupped your cheek gently, "Let me love you."

That…

You hugged him as tight as you could, burying your face in his chest. Your chest seized and throat closed.

You nodded, your voice muffled by his robes, "I think I can do that…" you took his hand and kissed it softly, "As long as I get to do the same for you."

He practically melted. 

You reached up, cupping his face, "You are so handsome."

He chuckled, going pink, "Why thank you, Reader. Though I'm certain our students and colleagues would question your tastes…"

"Good thing they're not the ones dating you."

"Unfortunately, neither Miss Jelavic or Mr. Karasuma have any interest in me."

"Obviously it's just because they're so wrapped up in each other. OH!" You grinned at him, "Irina said she knew Karasuma had been up all night last night and seemed pretty flustered when I asked her about it."

"Oh?~" his grin sharpened, "Is that right?"

You nodded.

"Well, perhaps Mr. Karasuma is more fun than I anticipated."

“Maybe.” you chuckled, “He definitely tries not to be.”

“I hope he’s not too pissed at me. I think he’s been annoyed with me since the nomikai. Which sucks. I thought we were on better terms.”

He looked at you in surprise, “He’s always spoken highly of you to me.”

“What?”

“Of course he gives a critique of your performance regarding self-defense, but he’s impressed with your improvement.”

“Oh...”

Well, shit.

“I think that’s just his personality.” he chuckled, “He’s very serious, very practical. Our classroom, of course, is not.”

“Irina’s been kinda guard dog since Okinawa I noticed.”

His laugh was practically evil, “Oh, you noticed too then.~ Yes. I do think there might have been something more to that vacation for them both than they’re letting on.”

“I hope so. They could both afford to loosen up.”

He nodded, “I think they will… eventually.”

“Maybe we could get them to double date.”

“If only!” he grinned devilishly, “It would be a prime opportunity to spy on them.”

“Gossip hound.”

“As if you’re not interested.~” green stripes faded into view on his face.

“They’re a weird pair!” you protested.

“I don’t think so, actually.”

“...Have we been working in the same office? She’s just so… much. Like he’s intense and kinda boring sometimes and she’s just really…” you struggled for words, Irina was a bit more complicated to describe.

“She’s an assassin coping with an assignment that is outside of her comfort zone. Much like the ones the children faced in Okinawa. She’s not being utilized correctly but, unlike them, she’s learning she had a skill set she didn’t know she had.”

You thought on that for a moment, “It’s… really easy to forget she’s an assassin sometimes.”

Green stripes crossed his face, “A trademark of a good assassin. Although, I believe that it’s the environment that is changing her.”

“Why’s that?”

“Consider the story that you heard from her on Okinawa. Did her childhood sound stable?”

“...” you paused, looking up at him for a long moment, “You see yourself in her.”

He nodded a bit, “Not entirely, of course, but we both lived through highly unconventional childhoods."

"And this job is a lot more normal than you're used to…" 

Novelty.

You thought about how delighted he was to have a chance to stay in with you.

"She seems so… Above all this though. In interest, I mean."

"She's used to a much more posh and high profile setting and she has a reputation to keep."

You remembered Lovro's insistence that she move to another job.

"What happens if she fails? Would Lovro do something to her?"

He chuckled, "The man is incredibly dangerous but I don't believe he would ever harm Irina."

"He literally tried to hang her."

"He was quite aware of what he was doing." His expression got distant, "That's part of what teaching a student entails."

" _ Hanging them?" _

"No, testing their abilities."

"Why are you so sure he wouldn't hurt her though?"

"Because, as dangerous as he may be and as strict as he may seem, Irina is like a daughter to him. He asks about her often."

“I mean… she’s also just his student so-”

He shook his head, “Lovro has quite the soft spot for children. Did you know he’s a grandfather?”

“W-What?” you stared at him, “He has actual kids?”

He nodded.

“That…” you considered this, “That’s wild... ”

“Human beings are multifaceted. To his grandchildren, he’s a wonderful grandpa. To Irina, he’s a teacher and father. To his targets, he’s death.”

“...this class fucks with my head so much.”

He laughed, “The same holds true with all people though, even the most mundane. Everyone has the capacity to be kind and to be cruel. To be strong and to be weak. Good and evil are subjective.”

“I don’t think that last one is true.”

“Is that so?” he smirked at you, “Then which am I?”

…

“Okay, hold on-”

“Well?” green stripes crossed his face.

“Look.” you took a breath, “I feel that there are things that are evil. Absolutely evil. Harming children, for instance.”

“What if a child is dangerous?”

You stared at him. Was he talking about the kids?

“What?”

“In my childhood, I knew children that would kill you in your sleep for your shoes.” he stared at you for a long moment, letting that concept sink in, “Would harming one of them be evil?”

“Well, that’s… self-defense…”

“So, one shouldn’t injure a child unless in self-defense.”

“I...” you pursed your lips for a moment, “Touche.”

He chuckled.

You sighed and dropped your head back against his shoulder, “Point taken. The world is full of gray areas.”

“It is.” he nodded, “And we should be thankful for it. Without them it would be a far less interesting place and people would be far, far more unhappy.”

“What do you mean?” you looked up at him.

“If good and evil were set in stone, if there were no gray areas, it would mean that we would all be judged by the harshest measure. Humans make mistakes. We make bad choices, give in to our emotions… Should one mistake, even an evil one, mark a person for life?”

“I mean… it probably does anyway at least… inside but...” you tried to think of how to phrase it, “I guess it also goes by what one considers evil...”

“And thus,” he grinned at you, “Good and evil are subjective and without that, redemption, forgiveness, and learning would not exist. To Takebayashi’s family, his lack of drive is a problem, one worthy of cutting ties with the boy nearly. They see that as a reasonable reaction while we may both see it as a negative one. Asano sees his approach as being the correct approach to teaching and his teaching does work, but we both disagree with it. The government sees me as evil. A danger. And I am a danger. I am dangerous. But I also go out of my way to be as careful and safe with everyone around me as possible.”

His voice settled into a genuine, gentle tone. A chuckle laced with sadness, “Life is filled with the good and the bad. Humans are flawed creatures… We can only strive to do our best with the knowledge we have and seek out answers where we need them.”

You pulled his hand over, kissing it, “It… I guess I just wish things were kinder...”

“Because you are an optimist.” he smirked a bit, “You believe, whether rationally or irrationally, that your actions- no matter how small - can change things.”

“What… do you think your actions can’t?”

“Now I didn’t say that...” he looked at you, “Actions can bring about all sorts of change but one must remember that there are battles we can’t win. Sometimes the odds aren’t in our favor. One doesn’t change the world overnight.”

“Well… yeah, no… but… I mean… if our actions don’t matter then what’s the point?”

He chucked and the sound reverberated through you, “Do you think that our classroom is changing the world?”

“...no.”

“But it is changing the lives of the people in it. You’ve seen our students. You’ve seen them grow. We might not change the world but we’ve made a difference in the lives of those we’ve touched with our teaching. And it matters to  _ them _ . It might seem a small consolation in the grand scheme of things but to change someone’s life is no small thing...”

His tone held something to it, a wistfulness that you remembered from Tomita Farm.

_ “Chance encounters can be life changing.” _

You kissed him softly, bringing him back to the present. He went a bright pink in response, “Oh!”

“As much as philosophy is fascinating, maybe we should head to bed before we fall asleep down here?”

His hand cupped your cheek gently, "That would be for the best, I think."

You both rose, the candles were snuffed out, the music shut off, and you made your way upstairs.

Good, evil…

At the end of the day, there was one thing you were starting to believe in above either of them.

You looked up at his figure ascending the stairs ahead of you.

_ Redemption. _


	94. Naked (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come

Given all of your discussion you had thought that, perhaps, he'd forgotten about your  _ other _ evening plans.

Until you got to his room where he promptly became a nervous mess.

He didn't seem to know what to do with himself.

_ Adorable. _

"Hm… how do we want to do this?" You looked over at him. He was tense, stiff…

Okay… 

He needed to relax or at least be eased into things…

You gave him a gentle smile, "Lay out the futon?"

He nodded and zipped about, setting it up. Carefully, you pulled off your top.

When he looked back at you he went bright pink, "Reader!"

You laughed a bit, embarrassed, and tugged off your pants, "What? I figured It's less embarrassing if we're both naked… besides, um…" you approached him, "I… we did a lot last night but I kinda just want to feel you…"

His eyes widened.

You settled on the futon and patted the space next to you. He was out of his robes in an instant, still bright pink.

"I figured we could… well… just sorta be together a bit? Let you get comfortable?"

His expression softened and he let out a breath, "That… would be perfect."

Laying down, you opened your arms for him to join you.

He lay beside you, soft and warm. You turned to face him, cuddling up close.

Tentacles encircled you.

Everything was gentle. Tenderly, you ran your fingers across his chest. His pulse quickened beneath your touch, tentacle legs tangled with yours. You nuzzled him, pressing light kisses to his neck. A sigh escaped him, a rush of fading tension. His hands trailed up your back and you shivered, laughing slightly.

It was soft and careful, but having talked and finally having gone through with things, there was a certain relaxed stillness between you two. The tension had broken and now you were free to start learning a whole new side of one another.

He chuckled, his lips finding yours. You ran your hands along his shoulders and murmured against his lips, "Where do you like being touched?"

"By you?  _ Everywhere _ ."

You buried your face in his chest, your cheeks burning. He laughed softly, kissing your head.

It was easier. Still new but less tense. It seemed natural.

Your hands roamed over him and he let out a content sigh.

“You know… maybe after… I could show you what I do.”

He tensed and looked at you, excitement lacing through his voice, “Please?”

You laughed and nodded.

“So… how do you think we should do this? I mean, when you’re ready...”

He was pink, “Well, ah… ”

“Like… it would kinda feel weird if I’m just sitting there staring at you?”

“I can agree with that...”

You set your chin on your shoulder, thinking, “What about the vanity?”

“Hm?”

“I could sit behind you and, well, we could use the mirror...”

Neon pink.

“If it’s okay with you,” you added quickly.

He nodded, “I think that would be best.”

You kissed him again, enjoying the contact. There was a sound and when you looked up the vanity had been moved into a more suitable position. You chuckled nuzzling against his neck, “I love you...”

“And I you, Reader.” his voice was soft against your ear.

What had you been so anxious about? What had either of you been anxious about? This was lovely…

You kissed along his neck and he made a soft sound of approval, tipping his head a bit. His arms wrapped a little tighter around you as you kissed a bit harder. You ran your hands along his back, sliding a leg against his.

He was warm, soft, his body trembled under your hands.

God…

He felt so good…

You stroked his cheek, kissing him, gasping against his lips. His hands grazed your back lightly.

It was simple comfort laced with excitement.

Running your hands over him you kissed him again, “So… does this make up for being touch starved?”

You found yourself pulled close, “ _ Exquisitely. _ ”

Again the thought came to mind.

This was where you had laid your affections.

This ridiculous, sweet, goofy mascot of a man.

Wordy, over the top, petty, nonsensical, gentle…

An absolute hot mess of a human being with powers beyond your comprehension.

A man who could kill not just you but the world itself six times over.

Who was currently bright pink, face buried in your shoulder.

He’d asked to be weak and ridiculous and the tentacles had brought forth so much more than that from him.

He was wonderful.

All of his flaws, his silliness, his weakness…

No matter what he had been or what he had done.

He was a good person.

A wonderful person…

You kissed your way back down to his neck, his shoulder, running your legs along his. You hooked one of your legs around a tentacle running it softly against his skin.

He stiffened.

“You okay?”

He nodded.

Interesting…

You slid your knee up higher, keeping your leg hooked around his. He squirmed, just slightly.

When your knee brushed the join of his legs he gasped, “Reader...”

You looked up at him. He looked overwhelmed, bright pink, “I… if you…” he managed to catch his breath, “Reader, if you keep doing things like that we’ll never get to me showing you anything.”

You laughed a little and moved your leg a bit higher, “What? Going to go off just from that?”

He shivered, “Not quite… but I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to  _ resist _ you.”

O H

Your face was on fire.

You managed to eek out, “So… ready then?”

He nodded, sheepish. You sat up and moved, putting a pillow or two behind you and sitting against the wall. He laid back in your lap, arms loosely wrapped around your knees.

His frame was taut with an embarrassed tension.

"You're adorable," you kissed his head, "Relax, I already think you're hot. Even if you have a beak."

He laughed, “I _ don’t _ have a beak!”

You nuzzled him, “Yeah? Prove it.”

He went bright pink and timidly spread his legs. It was so weird to you how he moved them. Sometimes each moved as its own entity, other times they moved in two bundles as though mimicking human legs. Right now the foremost legs parted in this configuration. The others lay amidst the blankets.

In the mirror, you could now clearly see the space where they connected.

It was a smooth area of pearlescent flesh.

No beak in sight.

As you watched, a tentacle sprouted from the space, extending. It was curled slightly inward.

It was adorable how timid these things could look. 

"Ohhhh…. So _ that's _ how it works…"

He was neon pink, his face buried in his hands, "Yes"

“A little less dramatic than I expected.”

He glanced up at you, “Less dramatic?”

You laughed a little, “Look, I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if you had them internally or like and opening or- wait...” you looked at him, "Does that mean you can make openings too?"

He nodded, burying his face in his hands.

You watched as a portion of the area sank inwards forming a rather nondescript entrance.

"Oh wow…"

It was actually fascinating to see.

"Have you ever used your tentacles on yourself then?"

He nodded again.

Your heart rate spiked, that…

That sounded  _ really _ hot...

"...could I see?" he looked up at you and you kissed him gently, "If you're alright with that… of course..."

He gave a small nod, his breathing shaky.

You watched in awe as he took the tentacle he'd extended and slid it into himself. He tensed as he did so, his breath coming out in a shudder.

He was trembling against you. 

You let your hands roam over his shoulders and down his chest, "You're beautiful."

Slowly, he began drawing the tentacle in and out, making small moans of pleasure.

You kissed his cheek, "Knowing how good you feel in me I imagine this is pretty intense, feeling both sides of it..."

"It is…" He whined and you could see him speed up.

You let your hands glide across his chest.

He worked the tentacle in deeper and you watched as the opening stretched to accommodate. His breathing hitched and he began to fall into a rhythm.

Maybe you could ease him into something  _ else _ too...

"So, what do you think about like this?" You let your voice drop into the quiet, more seductive register, "Being inside me?"

He gave a cry of alarm tempered with need, " _ Reader! _ "

Ohhhh... 

You wanted to hear more of  _ that… _

Nuzzling him, you spoke softly, "Pressing me up against a wall so I can't get away?"

He squirmed and his voice dipped, a slight note of aggression entering it, "As if you even could."

He froze and looked up at you.

You shuddered, oh that…

God… 

You wanted to hear  _ so much more _ of that.

And you weren’t letting him think otherwise.

"Not that I'd want to anyway…" you kissed along his cheek, "I like having your tentacles on me too much.~"

He shuddered, " _ Reader… _ "

"Hmmmm or maybe you like thinking about watching me~"

He gripped your legs, his motions speeding up. Oh, you  _ definitely _ liked that…

Seemed like he did too…

"Soooo you like the idea of watching me… watching me do what? Touch myself?"

He gasped, " _ Yes… _ "

From this angle you could see that the entrance he’d made was tightening around the tentacle he was using. Clenching at it.

God seeing him like this, squirming, trembling, his tentacle thrusting into himself…

Liquid heat filled your stomach.

You wanted him…

"What if I told you that the only thing I've thought about while doing that for  _ months _ now has been you?"

_ "Reader! _ " His hands and arms grasped at your legs and you watched in awe as colors flickered across his skin. 

He was trembling, gasping, the tentacle below still thrusting into himself. You nuzzled him, "You're gorgeous…" pressing a kiss to his cheek you whispered, "Are you imagining my mouth there instead?"

He gasped and arched again slightly, the colors still flickering softly, "Reader… I…"

"Thinking about how nice it feels?"

He squirmed.

Wow, he really was a mess when it came to that…

You drew a hand to your lips, running your tongue along one of his fingers before drawing it into your mouth.

His eyes went wide, watching you. In the mirror you could see the tentacle he had buried in himself speed up, nearly drawing out before thrusting back in. You chuckled and hummed softly around the finger in your mouth, letting your tongue brush across the pads of it.

The sound he made in response was guttural almost.

“Reader… Ah… that-that-”

You pulled his hand down just a touch, letting it almost leave your lips before drawing back in.

He cried out, writhing in your lap. The tentacle still moving in and out of himself, albeit in jerky, more staggered motions. Colors lit up across his skin.

Damn…

He was amazing...

He was panting, breathless and a soft whine escaped him as the colors slowly faded. 

You nuzzled him.

Finally, he slowly withdrew from himself, the tentacle and entrance simply reverting back to smooth skin. Though you did notice it was distinctly wetter than before.

Immediately he rolled, burying his face in your stomach, bright pink and clearly mortified.

You laughed a little, running a hand over his head, “You okay?”

No response.

Great.

You’d killed him.

The plot twist that no one saw coming.

You let him wind down, petting him gently, “That was really hot.”

Tentacles wrapped around your waist, still shaking.

“Man, you really  _ don’t _ handle dirty talk well, huh?”

He finally managed to peek up at you, “You didn’t let me _ prepare! _ ”

You laughed, “What, do I need to warn you in advance that I’m going to tell you how much I want to have you insid-”

A hand clapped over your mouth and you laughed. Reaching up, you stroked his cheek. His hand came to cup yours as well.

“That was actually… really quick. I’m kind of surprised...” you looked up at him.

He was still pink, “Ah… well...”

You remembered last night and paused, “You  _ usually _ go more than once, don’t you?”

His face was buried back in your stomach again and you laughed.

“Hey, I’m not complaining. That is  _ fantastic. _ ” 

"It… It is, as you said, more intense that way… then, of course, you're here and talking like  _ that! _ " His voice pitched up at the end and you laughed.

“You know you talked 'like that' too. That reply about me not getting away was  _ nice _ .”

He gave a small shriek.

“What? Oh my god, is this your whole 'too serious' thing again?” you looked down at him. He nodded and you laughed harder, “Relax… Jeez, I thought  _ I _ was wound up...”

He slowly faded to yellow. Good, he definitely needed to rela- 

Wait, were those green stripes-

Before you even realized what had happened, you had switched places.

“Wha-”

His voice was soft by your ear, “I do believe, you had something to show  _ me _ as well.”

OH.

You shivered, “Yeah...”

A pair of tentacles wrapped around your legs, holding them open.

Ohhhhhhhhhh god…

He chuckled, “Well, Reader? I’m waiting...”

Your turn to give a shriek. He laughed kissing your cheek softly, “Well then, that _does_ seem quite effective.~”

You shivered, leaning back against him, "Shut up."

His breath was warm against your neck, "But why? I thought you said you liked my voice..."

You shuddered and he chuckled, "Perhaps you need a little help? You do seem very out of sorts…"

A tentacle inched its way up your thigh.

"Thought the whole point was for me to show you what I do…"

"Mmm well, I've left your hands  _ quite _ free and you still haven't made a move…" he paused for a moment, hesitating, "Perhaps you were waiting for permission?"

Oh  _ fuck _ .

"Or maybe a  _ command _ ?"

You whined, his sudden turning of the tables was overwhelming, "Please?"

He nuzzled you softly, "Please, what? Remember, Reader, you need to ask clearly…"

You hadn't even done anything yet but this was…  _ god, _ you were aching. This was embarrassing but…

Fuck, it was hot.

"Please, can I touch myself?"

He shuddered behind you, his breathing hitched, " _ Yes _ ."

Your hands made their way down your front, sliding along your sex. He watched you in the mirror as you pleasured yourself.

"Absolutely stunning…" his lips found your neck and you moaned.

Your instinct was to pull your legs closer together but he kept them  _ firmly _ in place, spread for him to watch.

"Mmm…" his tone was warm, gentle, "How many times can  _ you _ manage, I wonder…"

You tipped your head letting him continue kissing along your throat. You felt a bit self-conscious but it was hard to stay focused on that when his breath was on your neck, his tentacles wrapped around your thighs…

It was so much…

So much that you'd wanted  _ so badly… _

You gasped, speeding up your motions. 

"You're absolutely enchanting like this, you know." He shivered, "Almost irresistible…"

His tentacles wrapped around your thighs came so close to touching you but he made a point of keeping them away from your sex…

He seemed  _ delighted _ to be in charge. Hard to imagine he'd been having a meltdown over your words a short while ago.

You moaned softly, squirming in his grasp. As you stroked yourself, a tendril looped around your wrist, pressing to your pulse. Another touched your throat.

The calming motions that he'd done before suddenly seemed intimate, overwhelming…

You shifted as best you could, still handling yourself but trying to bury at least part of your face in his chest.

"Now, now…" the tendril on your neck slid up, tipping your head back so that you were looking up at him, "There's no reason to hide that loveliness…"

He kissed you and you whined, your legs involuntarily tensing.

His voice was gentle, "Now Reader, you wouldn't be trying to get  _ away _ , would you?”

You shuddered and sped up, "N-No…"

He chuckled, "Good because I'm  _ quite _ enjoying the sounds your making… Now… then… What is it _ you _ think about when you're doing this?"

Ohhhh god…

You looked up at him for a moment, your face hot, “Ah...”

He smirked at you, eyes narrowing.

Fuck…

“W-well...”

His voice was soft by your ear, "Yes? I'm listening…~"

"You..." You managed to gasp it out.

God, his eyes were on you and it was…

"Me?" he chuckled, "Really now? The mere concept of me is just too much for you? Well, this must be  _ torture _ then. Unless of course there's more to that statement you're struggling with?"

Green stripes crossed his face.

Ohhh this cocky motherfucker…

But fucking hell… how did he manage to take the most basic of notes on what you liked and play it out so well?

"You inside me… or touching me…"

"Come now…" there was an undercurrent of breathlessness that betrayed his confident overtones, "Surely you can be more descriptive than that. You were quite eloquent when suggesting things to me, after all."

You whined, trying to rock your hips in time with your movements. He kept your legs firmly spread.

"Ah… you holding me d-down… making me beg…" you shuddered. He was warm pressed against your back. 

You heard a little hitch in his breath, his voice lower and more wanting, "What do I make you beg for?"

You squirmed, your body shaking.

"Tocome."

He chuckled, "I'm sorry, Reader, I didn't  _ quite _ catch that…"

Tentacles held you still. When had he gotten so many? 

"To come!" You gasped, speeding up your motions, "Please, Sensei… please… "

There was a soft sound of flustered surprise behind you and for a moment you thought he might pull away but then his voice was against your throat again. Dark, sharp, dangerous, "Come for me…" 

You were shaking in his grasp, your body tensing. You were so… clos-

You cried out, your body practically bucking, unable to break free of his tentacles. It was overwhelming, you tipped your head back against him, unable to do much more than touch yourself and moan. He was breathless watching you. You felt kisses peppered along your face, his lips finding yours.

You shuddered, moaning against his mouth. Your body was trembling in the wake of your orgasm, after a few moments your motions slowed and then ceased. You let out a small sigh before realizing you could still see yourself in the mirror.

Fuck.

_ Fuck _ .

Well, suddenly his reaction when he'd finished made sense.

Talk about self-conscious,  _ Jesus _ .

His tentacles loosened and you rolled on your side, burying your face in his chest. 

God…

This was just…

A hand ran over your head lightly, "Reader?"

You curled in on yourself just a bit. You felt too flustered, too exposed…

Reaching out you tugged a portion of the quilt over yourself. He chuckled and you found warm tentacles cradling you close.

"Are you alright?"

You nodded.

"And was that alright?"

You buried your face in your hands which seemed to concern him until you nodded into them.

"Soo… that's an  _ interesting _ title to use for me… would you say you might be  _ hot for teacher? _ '”

Your hands muffled your mortified yelp. He laughed, kissing the top of your head.

You huffed, "I know it's probably weird-"

He chuckled, "Nonsense. You've told me you're  _ quite _ the sub. It's only  _ natural _ you might have a taste for authority figures. Though I admit after the way you handled me I had my doubts about your submissiveness…"

You sighed. And he leaned down, kissing you, "That was beautiful."

You returned the kiss. You still felt exposed, anxious…

A tendril pressed to your neck, "Reader?"

You sighed, "I'm okay it's just… those awkward feelings after…? You know… Because it's new…"

His expression softened and you felt him shift.

Gently, he moved you so that the two of you were lying curled in on one another. The blanket wrapped protectively over you both.

It felt safer, less embarrassing.

You buried your face in his chest, "Thatwasreallygreat."

He chuckled, "I didn't do anything."

"You did  _ plenty _ and you know it!"

He pulled you closer, "I wonder how well you'll handle it when I'm a more…" a tentacle ran teasingly down your hip, " _ active _ participant."

"Pretty sure I'm just going to die." You said into his chest, shivering, "I practically died yesterday."

He laughed and nuzzled you gently.

God, he was warm and sweet and just…

You loved him.

A thought came to mind as you were catching your breath.

You laughed a little, "Heeey…"

He looked down at you, a happy pale pink.

"You normally go more than once…"

That pale pink became a deep magenta.

"Soooo what  _ else _ do you do?"

"Ah-"

And just like that  _ all _ of his bravado vanished.

_ Adorable _ .

"I mean… you could  _ show _ me." You smirked at him, "Isn't that what we're here to do?"

He nodded slowly, "Right…"

Shifting, he gingerly pulled back the blankets from himself.

You watched as his legs parted, two tentacles appearing. He still seemed anxious but it looked like  _ other _ feelings might be a bit more pressing to him. You curled up beside him watching as one tentacle looped itself around the other in a coil.

"Ohhh…"

He thrust the tentacle through the coil he'd created and cried out, shuddering.

"Oh wow…" you stared, watching him writhe as he thrust with his tentacle, the other squeezing in a rhythmic motion.

God, that…

You nuzzled against his neck, "Well I can think of a few more things I'll be imagining while I touch myself now."

He gave a small embarrassed whine and you kissed his cheek.

"You know… I'd show you what else I do but that would involve toys that I didn't bring with me…"

He froze.

Shit, had you upset him or som-

He slowly looked over at you with a smirk, green stripes crossing his face. One of his standard tentacles rose up in the shape of-

AHAHAHAHA

OH  _ FUCK _

THAT WAS SHAPED _ EXACTLY _ LIKE YOUR TOY.

OH GOD.

"Wh-" you yelped, sitting up, "How do you know about that?!"

Well, those stripes disappeared fast.

Panicked octopus time. 

What he was just doing was completely forgotten as he sat up, "I might have snooped around your apartment! I was just doing recon, making sure it was safe an-"

"Looking for my diary." you gave him a look.

Bright neon pink, "I had no intention of actually _ reading _ it I simply wanted to tease you by  _ knowing _ where it was and then I found  _ that _ !"

You covered your face, “Ohmygoooood...”

“I’m so sorry but-”

Shit.

You parted your fingers to see a smirking face with green stripes, “Tell me, do you have that because of  _ me? _ ”

You gave a small shriek and he looked triumphant.

“No! A friend gave it to me as a gag gift before I moved here-”

He leaned in closer, “Is that so?~”

“Yeah...” you could feel your face heating up, “I might have started using it because of you though...”

The green stripes were gone, he’d shifted back to bright pink.

“SO, what ELSE did you get up to in my apartment while I was asleep?” you squinted at him.

More panic, “Nothing! I-” he faltered, going a pale blue.

You gave him a long look, “What did you  _ do? _ ”

His voice was pitched up in alarm, his words blending together, “YouwerealotthenightofthenomikaisoIhadtohandlethings.”

“What does  _ that _ mean?”

He buried his face in his hands, “InmydefenseIhadbeendrinking.”

“Did you do something TO me?”

Alarm crossed his features and he looked up at you, “I would NEVER. Well… I kissed your forehead if that counts. But I just… ah...” he cleared his throat, “I- you are a tease when you’re drunk. I don't know if you’re aware…”

Hoooo boy what had YOU done?

“You were quite… forward all night. I did a bit of recon in your apartment and saw… well… that and...” he took a breath, “Imighthavegottenoffonyourcouch.”

You stared at him, “You WHAT?!”

Absolute panic, “I didn’t want to go back to BED with you like that!” he squirmed, clearly mortified by the entire conversation, “You were… it was a lot and we’d both been drinking and-”

You buried your face in your hands, laughing, “Oh my fucking god…”

“And then your TIMING!” he groaned, rubbing at his face.

“What?”

“You ran out to throw up right as I- ah...”

“OH MY GOD!” you were hysterical now, falling to the floor laughing, “Nevermind, I can’t even be mad. That’s hilarious.”

He was sitting there, face buried in his hands. You laughed, crawling back over to him, “Serves you right I think.”

He peeked at you, glaring, “As if you getting off in the shower is any better?”

Ah- ha…

Fuck.

"To be fair at least it was in my own house."

"With company over." He looked at you pointedly.

You still couldn’t help it, you laughed, “Fuck we’re both a pair of hot messes.”

He seemed to relax marginally at that, “I think we can both agree on that...”

You nuzzled him, “So I have terrible timing hm?”

He stared at you, “You have  _ no idea _ .”

“What?”

He cleared his throat, “You ah… texted me in the middle of it once.”

You tried not to laugh and failed miserably, kissing him, “I’ve really just been torturing you huh?”

He let out a shaky breath, “It’s been… a trial.”

“Well...” you leaned in, kissing him, “Maybe I can make up for that...”

He shivered at your tone and you ran a hand down his chest. His arms came up around you, his voice quivering, “Perhaps this could be a  _ shared _ intimate activity instead?"

"I would love that…" you nuzzled him softly.

He'd gone neon, "How far would you like for this to go?"

You laughed and kissed him, "However far you'd like."

"But-" he looked at you in concern.

You cupped his cheek gently, "I'm okay. I promise. What would you like to do with me? After all… I kinda got to pick the first time…"

He froze, his eyes wide, he sputtered in alarm, "Reader you can't just- I- I- I-"

You laughed and reached out, kissing him for a long slow moment, "It’s okay. What do you want to do?"

"Ah, well…" he shifted, clearing his throat and trying to regain composure, "Ah…"

You looked up at him, trying your best to look tempting.

"I'm…" he took a breath, "I'm not sure where to begin…"

"Well… what do you like to imagine doing with me?"

He went deep pink.

"You could always show me if saying it is too much."

He looked relieved, gently pushing you back onto the futon. You looked up at him with a smile and you thought, for a moment, that he might cry.

"You okay, Cuddle Fish?"

He nodded, touching his forehead to yours, "This has been something I've pictured many times, having you like this… and I'm just taking a moment to enjoy it."

Ha  _ fuck _ , your face burned.

He nuzzled you, "I love you so much…"

"I love you too…"

He leaned down, kissing you softly and you shivered, feeling tentacles glide along your skin teasingly grazing past all the places you wanted him to touch so desperately.

You bit your lip, holding back a moan. There was a look on his face.

"W-what?" You gave him a smile, shivering.

He hesitated for just a moment before leaning in, kissing you. His breath was hot against your throat, "Please… make _ all _ the noise you want…"

You shuddered, whining. The fucking  _ way _ he said that…

You felt lips on your throat, a tongue gently crossing your skin. 

You tipped your head back, eyes closed. One hand cupped your cheek, another slid down your side. Tentacles brushed your hair back, undulated across your skin, one traced the lines of your throat and you moaned at the touch.

There was a soft sound and when you opened your eyes you saw that he'd gone a brilliant pink, his expression full of want.

His voice was wavering as he spoke, "Reader, please… say my name…"

Oh…

That…

_ That was really cute. _

You kissed him softly, " _ Please… _ Korosensei…Touch me?"

He shuddered, leaning in to kiss you. Your legs were held apart and you gasped, nervous laughter escaping you. He chuckled and you felt a smooth tentacle slide along your sex, teasing at you. Lips closed on yours and you moaned against his mouth.

Your arms came up to wrap around his back, clinging to him.

And then something you hadn't expected happened-

The tentacle pressed against you  _ buzzed _ .

You gasped, your body trembling at the sensation, "F-fuck…"

He seemed to be having a similar reaction, his face buried in your shoulder, a whine coming from him.

You laughed a little, "Mach 20 vibrations, huh?"

"Definitely not." He gasped, "That could actually harm you. Thi-this is-ah!"

You nuzzled him, “Something gentler?”

He buried his face in your shoulder, nodding.

"Sounds like it's a good time for you t-too." You chuckled, kissing him.

"Y-yes…" he held you close, a tentacle brushing against your entrance. 

You moaned, rolling your hips in an effort to gain more contact. He was panting against your shoulder, a soft keening sound coming from him.

The tentacle at your entrance was teasing, grazing across you, so close but not where you wanted it. Brushing against you lightly. A constant reminder of what was to come.

You shivered, kissing along his cheek, “Oh…  _ Korosensei… _ "

From the strangled gasp you heard you could tell that he  _ definitely _ liked you saying his name.

_ Precious… _

You squirmed under him, kissing him hungrily. The insistent vibration on sensitive flesh was practically overwhelming. He kept the tentacle in place, not letting you escape it. It might part for a moment or shift but it was always there, insistent, and demanding of your attention. He continued to tease at you slipping it down to stroke at your entrance. God you wanted him inside you, but god… this felt so  _ good _ .

“That’s such a fucking _ tease _ .” you gasped, feeling him push against you, but still not entering.

He managed a chuckle, “As if you haven’t been teasing me for months.”

You laughed, “I d-didn’t mean to!”

“Well, perhaps,” he glided the tentacle up, barely letting it rest on you, “this is unintentional.”

“Bullshit.” you gasped, bucking your hips.

He laughed, but it swiftly turned into a moan as you kissed along his neck. You wrapped your legs around him and he made a sound of surprise, “Reader...”

“What is it, Cuddle Fish?” you kissed him gently.

“I’m not sure I can drag this out much longer...” his breathing was ragged, his body tense.

"L-little much, huh?"

He nodded.

You laughed a little, “G-guess it’s a good thing we both like multiple rounds, hm?”

The sound he made in response was wavering, broken in the best of ways, and suddenly you were filled with a thrusting tentacle. You cried out in a mix of pleasure and surprise rocking your hips and clinging to him.

"Ohhhh fuck…" you whined into his shoulder, "Yes… Please, god don't stop…"

He kissed you long and hard. When you parted he practically growled, "If you keep making sounds like that I don't know if I'll be  _ able _ to stop."

Oh fuck…

Ohhhhh _ fuck. _

You cried out, "Then fucking don't!"

He took your plea to heart. The tentacle plunging into you sped up, filling you. You couldn’t get a rhythm because it was too much. You found yourself gasping, clenching your legs around him tightly just to ground yourself. His lips were on your throat.

He seized suddenly, holding you tightly, his tentacle still thrusting into you, "R-Reader!" 

Colors flashed across his skin and you tipped your head back moaning.

He let out a whine and suddenly the tentacle inside you sped up, maneuvering until it found a place that made your legs tense and your muscles shake. Fuck, you could barely breathe it felt so good. You cried out under him, clinging to him as he brought you to a rapidly approaching edge, "K-Korosensei! Fuck! God, please. Cuddle Fish, I- I-"

You screamed, hanging onto him for dear life as your body spasmed. Fuck.

Fuck, he was better than you ever could have  _ dreamed _ .

He held you tightly, tentacles lifting your hips, giving him better access. You could see colors flicker across his skin, feel the way his tentacle writhed inside you.

"Reader… Reader…" he clung to you, kissing you and slowing down a touch, his breathing shaky.

You shivered, your body still reeling from the wave of pleasure, his motions teetering on the edge of oversensitivity or another quaking orgasm. The buzzing had, thankfully, stopped.

"I love you…" you gasped.

Suddenly the tentacle inside you thickened, causing your body to shudder.

"I love you too…" his voice was soft, warm, enchanted, "Now… I think you can go once more... "

You whined and his motions now we're slower, gentler thrusts, his hands trailing over you, lips gently finding yours.

He carefully brought you back up, your body trembling. And this time when you came it wasn't as dramatic but it felt even better as oversensitive flesh clenched around a writhing tentacle.

You both took a moment, catching your breath. He was still inside you but not uncomfortably so.

Carefully, he withdrew and when you smiled up at him you were surprised to see concern on his features.

"Hey, what is it?"

He seemed almost fretting, 

“I’m sorry, I should have asked if you were ready for me before ah-”

He shifted, clearly a mess.

"Before what?" That had been fantastic what in the world was he-

"Before penetration…" he managed.

Before-

You laughed. What an idiot.

An adorable, overly concerned, idiot.

“Trust me… you’re fine. You are way,  _ way _ more than fine. That was...” you laughed a little, "I guess I can't really keep saying the best sex of my life but…god damn..." 

He kissed you gently, "You're certain?"

You laughed, "Absolutely. I'd tell you if it was too much."

He relaxed pulling you close, tentacles wrapped around you. He was soft and warm. The room was calm, quiet… 

You drifted to sleep curled against him. One of his hands stroking your back.

Mn…

You were laying on something.

You moved until it shifted, the lump in your side disappearing. Better.

You buried your face into something soft.

_ Old books and summer rain… _

That’s right…

You looked up at him and found yourself met with his grin.

Of course, he was already awake.

“Hey...” you smiled, sheepish.

Lips found yours.

Today had been…

It had been a trip. That was for sure.

You reached out and grabbed your phone, checking the time.

You had no idea how long all of that had lasted but it was about three hours later than you thought. How much of that was sleep you couldn’t say. You flopped back against him.

Your thoughts drifted to earlier and suddenly one thing sprang to mind. A thought that you couldn’t push away.

A thought that was making you lose your damn mind.

You chuckled into the kiss at first, trying to suppress the concept but it wouldn’t go away. You laughed and he looked at you in surprise.

“What?”

You were trying to catch your breath, it was SO STUPID but-

"You _ lied! _ "

He looked legitimately concerned, "What? Reader what are you-"

You grinned, "You can make anything from there right?"

His eyes followed your finger which was pointing at the join of his legs.

He went bright pink.

"In theory, yes…"

"So you, i _ n theory _ , DO have a beak!"

He sputtered, alarm on his features, “IF I  _ CHOSE _ TO BUT THAT’S NOT THE DEFAULT SETTING!”

“DEFAULT SETTING? YOU’RE AN OCTOPUS NOT A ROBOT!”

“WHY WOULD I MAKE A BEAK THERE ANYWAY?!”

It was RIDICULOUS. But god you were gone at this point, laughing into his chest, trying to catch your breath. 

The image was hilarious but his REACTION was always the best part.

You finally recovered enough to respond.

“Cosplay obviously, you’re already an octopus.” 

WAIT.

WAIT, HOLD ON.

“OH MY GOD. ITS NOT THERE BUT IT COULD BE!” you sat up, pointing at him, triumphant, “IT’S SCHRÖDINGER’S BEAK!”

He was NOT amused, “That is a grossly incorrect usage of quantum mechanics.”

“Of course you would say that. You have Schrödinger’s beak!”

Suddenly you were swept up in tentacles, “IS THAT SO?” 

The tendrils wriggled against your side and you shrieked, laughing and tried to get away. You were held up to his face.

“Stop!”

He paused, looking at you skeptically, “Well, do I have a beak?”

“I mean in thero-” you were cut off by him tickling you again, “OKAY, OKAY, YOU DON’T HAVE A BEAK! I GIVE!”

He chuckled, kissing you softly, “Now was that so hard?”

You tried to give him a  _ Look _ a la Karasuma but given the green stripes on his face you were sure it wasn’t getting across very well.

You flopped back on the futon with a sigh, “You don’t play fair.”

“Would you if you were in my position?” he chuckled.

“Probably not.” you propped your head up on one hand, “But still.”

He leaned in and nuzzled you, “I like to think I’m quite fair where it counts.”

“Hmmmm… I guess that’s true.” you conceded, kissing him. 

He ran a hand along your back. Warn, soft, and gentle. You sighed, rolling onto your stomach to bury your face in the pillows, “Starting to think you just fucked people to death because that was amazing...”

He had gone magenta.

But to his credit, he was actually able to respond for once.

“Never.” he chuckled, “But I’m quite glad to be considered your best...”

Well, of course he was…

“It’s the best because it’s with you.”

“Well, now, that’s a bit of a mistruth. Are you certain my tentacles have nothing to do with it?” he was smirking, his face decorated with stripes as per usual.

You laughed, “Sure, they do! But, like I said before...” you put your hand over his heart, “I fell in love with  _ you _ . If something happened and you went back to just being a normal person I'd still love  _ you _ . The tentacles are just the icing on the cake at this point.”

You were pulled close, lips on yours. You sighed.

This was perfect.

He was perfect.

His voice was hushed when he spoke next, “I…” he laughed just a bit and you saw tears in his eyes, “Reader, I am beyond words...” he held you close and kissed you, “I love you.”

You reached up, wiping gently at his eyes, “I love you too, Cuddle Fish.”

He was adorable…

“Guess we should probably sleep.” you sighed.

He nodded, “I imagine tomorrow will be interesting.”

“Yeah and I think we both need the rest.” you leaned against him.

”Mn… but first, perhaps we should… clean up?”

You were suddenly hyper-aware of how  _ sticky _ everything was…

You pulled back, feeling your skin peel away from his.

Oh…  _ gross… _

It was like peeling yourself off of leather in the summer.

“Uh… yeah, that  _ might _ be a good idea…”

Jesus…

Were you going to need to lay down tarps next time?

By the time you were out of the shower he’d fixed the room and cleaned the futon.

You collapsed next to him, sore, exhausted, and content.

Tentacles tugged you close, blankets were pulled up around you, and you let the pull of sleep take you.

Tomorrow could be crazy. You didn’t care.

Right now?

You were happy.


	95. How to Belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come.

You woke up, not to your alarm but to a gentle kiss. When you parted he smiled, "I thought you might like some breakfast in bed.”

“Mmmm are you changing your name to breakfast?” you nuzzled him, still tired.

You were rewarded with a flustered chuckle. One hand came up to run through your hair and a tray was sat down on the floor beside you. A tray with a lavish spread of french toast, fresh fruit, water, and coffee.

“Oh shit.” you laughed, “You actually made me breakfast in bed.”

“Of course, what sort of host- or lover for that matter- would I be if I didn’t.”

You snorted, “Man, you’ve been out of the game awhile if you think people do this commonly. Either that or I’ve been dating the wrong people.”

You picked up the cup of coffee and took a sip.

God bless coffee.

God bless caffeine.

“I’m inclined to think you’ve been dating the wrong people.” he pulled you over and you panicked, worried about spilling the coffee, only to find tentacles had kept your hand steady.

“You could have warned me.” you huffed.

He just chuckled in response. You leaned back against him with a yawn, “What time is it?”

“Seven AM. Plenty of time to get ready and eat.”

You relaxed against him, “Good.”

The tray was lifted and sat across your lap, he stayed sitting behind you, tentacles to either side of you like some ridiculous chair.

“So… you’re talking to Takebayashi today?” you started cutting into your french toast.

“Yes. I plan to.”

The french toast was, as expected, perfect. Warm and sweet with just the right undercurrent of savory.

“I’ll be a touch late to class today. Mr. Karasuma has already been informed.”

You looked up at him, “Why?”

“I’m doing a bit of work outside of the class to assist Takebayashi.”

What the hell did that mean?

“...Okay… like?”

He simply grinned at you.

“You’re not going to tell me?”

“I would but it would spoil the surprise!”

You rolled your eyes, “Alright but remember, don’t pressure him, okay?”

“I’m only planning to check in on the boy and have a heart to heart. I won’t trouble him.”

“Good.” you tipped your head back, kissing him.

A thought occurred to you, “Hey...”

“Hm?” he peered down at you.

“...you still don’t get to die yet, you know that right?”

He looked surprised, “Reader, where did that come from?”

“Well...” you took another bite, chewing it thoughtfully, “You weren’t allowed to die until we went out to Tomita… and then the Hiroshima Memorial...”

It was ridiculous but part of you almost felt like… like it was good luck. Like it was security against the coming heartbreak…

He chuckled. There was a note of something tender and sorrowful to it.

“Well then, I suppose we should make plans.”

You nodded, “Yeah… I’d like that.”

“Did you have anything in mind?”

You thought over it, “Well… we could visit your family.”

He froze, “Nani?”

You laughed, “We could go to an aquarium. Visit the tentacled side of your family. Maybe let you visit the ocean without getting seasick?”

He chuckled, relaxing, “That would be perfect.”

“So uh… hm… next weekend or well… maybe the weekend after next?”

“Perfect.”

“No dying until the 20th.” you took another bite of the french toast.

He chuckled, resting his chin gently on your head. You smirked and then offered him a forkful.

There was a soft sound of surprise and he accepted it, going bright pink.

_Adorable._

What you wouldn’t give for more moments like this…

You were dropped off quietly in an out of the way area near the station. He stole a kiss and rocketed away, leaving you laughing and shaking your head. It was already hot as hell, a feeling that was only amplified by the fact that you woke up in the cold this morning and by the long walk up the mountain.

The mountain was still clad in its bright greenery. Cicadas were already crying this early in the morning. You climbed the path, lost in thought.

It felt like your life right now was parsed into two halves. Running around, breathless, trying to function and incredibly quiet downtime. You supposed it made for good balance. Better than hanging out alone in your apartment for sure.

Suddenly you remembered the conversation about him bringing things over.

You felt your face break into the stupidest grin.

God.

Fuck.

Shit in class might be tense right now but…

Damn if your home life hadn’t become a lot more fun.

You sighed. It definitely gave you something to look forward to when you came home...

Damn...

What a month it had been…

Your hand idly went to the pendant around your neck.

What a year...

“Hey uh… Mx. Reader?”

Okano’s voice nearly made you jump out of your skin. You spun around, immediately going into a defensive stance. She paused, staring at you for a moment and then laughed, “It’s okay. I’m not going to do anything… school hasn’t started yet.”

You huffed, straightening, “Okay, you can’t blame me for being concerned.”

“Yeah.” there was an awkward quiet that fell between you for a moment, finally she took a breath, “Um… so… could we maybe talk on the way up?”

“Sure, what’s on your mind?”

You began ascending the path again.

“Well...” her voice was quiet, “I wanted to apologize for hurting you during practice the other day.”

You laughed a bit, “I punched you. I think we’re even.”

She laughed a little, “Still...” she paused for a minute.

Hmmm… you were starting to grasp these pensive silences.

“Something else on your mind?”

“Yeah...” she took a breath, “Do I look too much like a boy?”

You faltered, “What?”

“I just… I don’t know I don’t feel like I’m… feminine enough I guess...”

“You’re plenty feminine.” you gave her a smile, “What’s got you thinking that?”

She was silent for a long moment.

Clearly, she needed a nudge, “Not catching a boy’s eye?”

She shrugged a little, “And the guys sometimes talk about me being intense. I don’t know...”

“Well, I don’t know if you noticed but the boys aren’t exactly experts in the ladies.”

She snorted and shook her head, “Yeah it’s just...”

“It feels bad.”

She nodded, “I mean… I don’t want to do a makeover or something. I feel like if I did they’d just make fun of me for it.”

“You want them to see you differently but you don’t want to give up your tough image.”

“Yeah...” she sighed, “I want to be able to be like Professor Bitch. Like, tough but also someone that can be seen as pretty.”

“You’re very pretty. If the boys can’t see that then it’s their loss. You’re going to knock them dead in high school.”

She went a bit pink and looked at you in surprise, “You think so?”

“I know so. And besides, trust me, there’s plenty of guys out there that want a girl who can kick their ass.”

“OI! Okano!” 

Whelp… there was the problem child now.

Maehara came running up beside her, “Looking to kick Doc’s ass again?”

She huffed at him and stormed off.

“Jeez… what’s her problem?” he shouldered his bag.

“Mn… might still be upset about Takebayashi.”

The boy’s face instantly fell and a note of irritation came into it, “Why? She got a crush on him or something?”

You smirked over at him, “Why do you ask? It’s not like you’re dating.”

The boy went a touch pink, “Because she’s my friend and I try to look out for her.”

“Yeah? She need protection from Takebayashi?”

He huffed, “No but come on, he did turn his back on us.”

“And you know the reason why.”

The boy sighed, “Yeah, it’s just… it still pisses me off.”

“I understand. It’s rough when things like this happen-”

“You didn’t help either.” he grumbled, “You could have said something. We could have talked to him about it.”

“I could have but he asked me not to. Part of my job is helping you guys with problems like this. Takebayashi doesn’t get to make choices for himself much. Don’t you think it’s important that he decides this on his own?”

The boy’s expression shifted and he seemed frustrated with your question, “It was still shitty.”

“If you came to me with a problem would you want me to tell everyone in the class?”

“Well yeah if it had to do with the mission!”

“Are you sure about that?”

He looked uncomfortable, shifting a bit, “Yeah…”

Isogai came up beside him, “Morning, Maehara.”

He turned to look at him, “Hey, Isogai.”

You let the boys pull ahead of you, watching them head up the mountain. You did notice, however, that Coppertop shot a troubled glance back at you as they crested the hill.

You phone pinged and you checked it.

A message from Ritsu.

[Mx. Reader, could we talk?]

Apparently everyone had things they needed to discuss after the event.

[Sure thing.]

She popped up on your screen. You immediately noticed that the background was a stormy sky. She looked sad, tired.

“Ritsu… what’s wrong?”

“I think I’m failing at my mission.”

“...what?”

“Korosensei said that I should try to cooperate with my classmates to optimize our chances at assassinating him but I think I’ve alienated myself from the classroom by keeping Takebayashi’s decision a secret.”

“Have they said anything to you about it?”

She gave a small nod, “Some of them are angry about it but others are just… quiet. Uncomfortably so.”

“Giving you the cold shoulder?”

She paused and you saw a flicker across the screen, “Yes! That’s the term for it.”

Hooo boy…

“I’m sorry they’re treating you that way, Ritsu. We’ll talk to them in the classroom today, okay?”

“To everyone?” she seemed worried.

“It’d probably be better to speak to everyone about it. I have a feeling people are still upset with me too. Besides, talking about it is the first step to resolving things.”

She gave a small nod, “Okay, Mx. Reader. Thank you. I’ll see you in class.”

And then she was gone.

Was this what the rest of the day was going to be like?

The answer, you found, on reaching the schoolhouse was yes.

Yes, that was exactly what it was going to be like.

The kids cast glances your way, there were less than enthusiastic greetings. All polite but distant.

Great.

Lovely.

You put your things down in the faculty lounge. Irina wasn’t in yet. Karasuma was, predictably, present.

And predictably chilly.

He gave you a brusk nod before turning his attention back to his laptop.

Fantastic.

You get closer to the octopus and further from your coworkers and students.

What a start to the term.

Well… might as well try to amend things at least a bit. You’d start with the kids first though. Karasuma would take time…

The classroom was filled with the students milling about. When you entered, conversations quieted.

“Hey guys...” you grabbed the office chair you kept in the room and took a seat, “I wanted to have a talk with you.”

The class turned their attention to you.

How should you approach this…

“I’m sorry for keeping the information about Takebayashi from you. I know that many of you don’t agree with it.”

There was some uncomfortable shifting amongst them. Oof… tough crowd.

“I hope that you can at least understand why things that were done, were done.” you took a breath, “Now, there is one thing I need to address with you and that’s Ritsu…”

A few of the kids turned to look at the black box in the back of the class. You noticed the screen wasn’t on. Poor kid.

“Ritsu is Takebayashi’s friend. She’s your friend too. I understand that it’s a rough situation but please don’t take out your frustration on her. Remember, she’s new and still learning about all of this. Like… ALL of this.” you gestured around, “I understand if you’re still upset. That’s okay. You have a right to your feelings. But sometimes people need to talk a bit with someone they trust before telling others about it. Takebayashi probably needed that. So, if you’re going to be mad at someone point it at me or something, huh? I think they both need a break.”

“Ritsu...” Kayano looked back at her, “Are you okay?”

Ritsu had appeared on her screen, tears rolling down her face, “I just really don’t want you to hate me...”

“We don’t hate you.” Sugaya sounded surprised.

“Yeah, you didn’t leave E Class.” it was Nakamura.

Hinano quickly followed her up, “You were just trying to help.”

The pair had moved to their robotic classmate’s side, patting her gently.

You… weren’t sure if she got anything from that but hey… at least it was a show of support.

The kids were speaking with her when the door slid open.

You looked over and-

Oh, what the hell was this?

“Good morning!~” the octopus was standing there happily waving.

“Uh...” Maehara was staring at him, unnerved.

You could understand why. He was pitch black and-

Wait. You’d seen this before.

He chuckled, “I hopped down to Africa to get a suntan. I even went for a drive with a Maasai tribesman. We exchanged email addresses.”

“Email… addresses?” Sugaya was staring at him in surprise.

“Of course! Modern technology isn’t limited to one country you know.” he chuckled, “The Maasai have incorporated several things into their traditional culture. Mobile phones, for instance, serve as a connection between farmers who are moving their cattle. It also allows for them to reach out for medical assistance if needed or to make purchasing arrangements. If you think about it, cell phones are perfect for a nomadic lifestyle!”

“But they still live in mud huts?” Sugino looked at him, skeptical.

“They live in a variety of places but yes, the traditional home, an enkaji is made from timbers, branches, twigs, and a plaster made from mud, ash, and cow dung. Maasai homes are meant to be temporary shelters. Of course, with times changing, there are many that live in more urban environments. The enkaji allows them to be near their herds and to protect them from danger.”

“Okay but… why did you go to Africa?” Nagisa looked over at him.

The annoyance and tension of the room had completely dissipated with the arrival of your idiot. On some level, you wished you could cause that kind of change.

“Now I’m the perfect ninja!” he grinned over at Nagisa, “No one will ever notice me in a crowd.”

“That’s… not how that works.” you heard Sugino mutter.

Stifling a laugh, you smirked over at him.

You were happy to see you didn’t get a sour look in response.

“What’s the suntan for anyway?” Okano had come over, leaning on one of the desks and peering at him.

Hoo boy. Even with the suntan, you could tell he was feeling cocky.

“Why for looking after Takebayashi, of course!”

“Looking after…?” Okajima, like the rest of the class, was still staring at their bowling ball of a teacher.

His tone gentled as he looked at the children, “He chose to leave, and I can't stop him. But I have a responsibility to watch over him for a while to make sure he's adapting to his new environment.” he took his position at the front of the room, opening the roll book, “That's my job. Making sure your lives continue as normal.”

There was a shift in the air. You noticed the kids relax a bit, settle.

It was Megu who spoke first, “Maybe we should go check out the situation a bit too…”

“Yeah,” Now that… was a voice you didn’t expect. You turned to look at Maehara as he continued, “That otaku is clumsy at everything including assassinations.”

Sugino nodded, “Yeah but he's still our friend and we've worked closely together to strike the same target.”

Of course. Assassination.

One day you’d realize that approach always worked.

Hinano sighed, “I can't complain about him leaving, but I hope Takey hasn't been brainwashed by the principal to turn into a jerk.”

The kids were energized now, excited at the prospect of checking in on the boy who they had, just a few moments ago, been so angry at.

You leaned on the podium with a sigh and glanced over at the octopus. He grinned down at you.

“You sure you need me around here? I wasn’t getting much of anywhere with them...”

“Your approach works quite well, generally. But your focus is often on the individual. That is good but it’s important to remember in both this culture and this classroom that, sometimes, it’s better to appeal to the collective.”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t let it upset you.” he smiled down at you, “They were keen listeners to you last semester and I’m certain they will be this semester as well. We’ve had a rocky start but our students have always pulled together stronger before this.” he chuckled, watching them talk amongst themselves, “Such are the bonds of assassination...”

A bond you didn’t share with them…

Not really.

You tried not to let that smart so much.

“So… How is a suntan going to help you take care of Takebayashi anyway?”

His grin sharpened, eyes narrowing, “Why, I’m so glad you asked.~”

And that’s how you ended up spying on one of your students.

As it turned out, main campus students had introductory classes for the new term even during the break. Takebayashi was finishing up his first one now.

You knew this because you and the rest of the class were all crouched behind some bushes outside one of the wings of the main campus. Each member of the class was sporting branches attached to their heads. You scratched at yours. These damn things were poking your scalp...

When the octopus had suggested checking in on Takebayashi you didn’t think it was going to involve camo. 

This was ridiculous.

Your idiot stood out like a sore thumb too. Not even remotely camouflaged with his suntan. Not that any of you were really. The plants you were using were from the mountain and stood out in sharp contrast to the ornamental bushes you were crouching in.

“Looks like he’s doing okay...” Megu looked over with a smile.

You watched through the glass as the boy greeted some classmates. He seemed… comfortable for the most part.

“Does he seem friendlier than usual to you?” Maehara’s tone was relaxed and kinder than earlier in the day.

Seemed seeing his classmate in his new surroundings was good for him.

Terasaka huffed, “That's why I told you to just leave that four-eyes alone and forget about him.” you noticed a hint of both admiration and sadness in the boy’s voice, “If anyone in this shitshow of a class was going to make it back to main campus, it’d be him.”

“He’s been really dedicated to this.” Isogai’s tone was filled with pride.

Hinano grinned, “Yeah!” 

What a turn around.

You looked back to the classroom and saw Takebayashi look over.

There was no doubt about it, the boy saw you.

He paused, clearly considering doing something. Before he could react a familiar figure joined him.

The principal’s son.

The two talked a bit, Asano looked happy but Takebayashi’s form was tense, nervous.

The pair walked away and you could hear the kids beside you discussing things.

“What if he becomes part of the big five?”

“Oh man, his parents would really accept him then.”

“Just hope he doesn’t become a dick about it...”

Poor kid was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

You wished you could do something more to help.

But at least it seemed that his classmates wouldn’t be cold-shouldering him or Ritsu any further…

Augh you had to get these damn branches off your head.

"So…" you were walking alongside the octopus up the mountain path, "Why the suntan? Because that was kinda useless on main campus."

"Well, this isn't the only recon I'll be doing. I fully intend to speak with Takebayashi tonight."

"Oh… you know that's a little creepy, right?"

He looked at you, "I consider it to be dedicated."

"Stalking your students in the dark?"

"If the job requires." 

You rolled your eyes.

"You might want to pay more attention, Reader." He smirked.

"Huh?" You said, eloquently.

Right before Terasaka nailed you into a tree.

_Shit._

That's right.

You threw an arm up, shoving him off and started running up the mountain.

You heard Kayano as you raced past, "They're at it again…" 

"Kick their asses, Doc!" Sugaya called to you.

Terasaka barked back at him, "Whose side are you on anyway?!"

A familiar grin appeared, the octopus flying alongside you, "Don't forget, Reader," you felt your hair being swept back and styled, "You still have me to contend with.~"

He winked at you.

Fucking hell.

Suddenly he vanished and Okano was blocking your path. You made a dive to one side, scrabbling across the dirt path. A move that, unfortunately, gave Terasaka time to catch up to you.

You were seized from behind and you struggled to get out of the grip. The octopus appeared, green stripes in place as he put a bow into your hair, “The first rule of being a target is to always be on your guard.”

“Oh shut up.” you snapped, throwing an arm back.

Terasaka immediately moved to intercept and you brought your elbow hard up into his chin. He released you, dazed, and you ducked down as Okano swung a leg directly at your head.

You reached into your bag, pulling out your wooden knife as you ran up the mountain path. Might as well be ready for the idiot showing up again...

The rest of the day was spent in drills which were frustrating, as usual. You felt about ready to drop dead when it was time to go. You’d be thankful for when regular classes started back up. The kids being in class would make it much more difficult for them to do sneak attacks on you…

You hoped, anyway.

While you were in the bathroom taking all the nonsense out of your hair, you heard your phone buzz. Picking it up you saw a new message.

From 🐙🎓

[I will be out tonight following Takebayashi, will you be able to get home safely?]

[Yeah, I'm good but you know where I am if you wanna stop by.]

[♥️ Of course!]

[Figure you don't need a key since you broke in last time.]

[I was concerned!]

[I had a cold!]

[650,000 people a year die from respiratory infections linked to the cold and influenza! Of course, I was concerned! (>0<；)]

You stifled a laugh, shaking your head.

[Well, anyway, you know where to find me, Cuddle Fish.]

You got a long string of heart emojis in response.

Adorable.

Once home and showered you collapsed onto the couch, your back against the armrest.

It was starting to feel odd being in your apartment alone. You'd had a few nights to yourself but the last couple of weeks you'd spent wrapped up in tentacles most nights.

Usually the quiet was calm and maybe a touch lonely, a feeling easily chased off with the television or music. Tonight though there was another feeling.

A touch of melancholy.

Not because he wasn't there but because of that creeping sense of othering. That feeling of being set apart. An outsider.

You weren't part of the classroom… Not really. You were present but standing apart from it. The octopus might say otherwise but _of course,_ he would. 

And it went beyond that.

You weren't from here. 

Among your co-workers, you were the only one with a background not focused on killing people.

You loved the Octopus and how many people would agree with those thoughts?

You felt alien.

Out of place.

You took a breath and closed your eyes.

You tried to convince yourself the feeling was irrational.

It was hard.

It was always so hard.

Because you felt you had so much evidence to the contrary.

Your phone pinged and you picked it up.

That… was not the person you expected to get a message from.

You had a text from one Kotaro Takebayashi.

[Mx. Reader, could we talk?]

Okay then…

[Sure, what’s going on?]

[I saw all of you following me today. Why was that?]

[We wanted to check in on you and make sure you were doing alright.]

There was a long moment before the next message.

[Korosensei found me after school.]

[Yeah? He mentioned he wanted to speak with you.]

[Do you think I’m killing my true self to appease my family?]

Fuckin…

Damn, okay.

[Well… I think it’s important to look at your choices and why you make them. Consider your options and take the path that will suit you best.]

[How do I know which one is best?]

[We don’t. It’s part of living. It’s not always an easy path and sometimes we make mistakes and it’s not the best one. But the importance lies in it being your path to choose.]

[Even if it means being a loser?]

You chuckled.

[Loser is subjective. Do you think everyone in E Class is a loser?]

[...no. But I don’t belong there.]

[Why not?]

[My closest friend in the class is an AI, Mx. Reader.]

[I believe you have more friends in E Class than you think. And, besides, would you say to Ritsu that your friendship doesn’t matter?]

Another long pause.

[No. I wouldn’t.]

[It’s easy to feel like you don’t belong, Takebayashi. I feel it myself sometimes. It’s easy to see your difference as a weakness.]

[Isn’t it?]

[Think of your classmates. Do their differences make them weak?]

[No...]

[Then why does it make you weak?]

[...because, I don’t have an exceptional skill.]

[I disagree. You have taken upon yourself the task of helping teach an AI about being human for starters.]

[She’s doing that on her own anyway.]

[And, while you might not like it, you do have a talent for medicine and delegation. That doesn’t mean you have to become a doctor.]

[What?]

[In emergencies I’ve been able to rely on you for triage and to handle treating your fellow classmates. Not something I could do with just any student.]

[...But is that helpful for the assassination?]

[I think both of those things are. Nagisa pointed out to me once that medical knowledge means you know the best places to strike.]

[He’s not human though.]

Hoooo boys if only you knew, kid.

[Maybe so, but there are principles that carry over. And you could easily head a team in class, whether you believe it or not.]

[I… don’t think so.]

[Then, how about this: If you devalue the skills you currently have then why not acquire new ones?]

[What sort of skills should I try for? I’m terrible at everything!]

[Have you tried everything?]

[No...]

[Then how do you know you’re terrible at everything?]

[...Point taken.]

[You don’t have to succeed the first time. You just have to keep going. That’s what’s important.]

[Okay. I think I know what to do now. Goodnight, Mx. Reader.]

[Goodnight, Takebayashi. Rest well.]

You dropped your head back against the armrest and nearly screamed as you saw a grinning face inches from yours.

“Fuck! You could WARN someone!”

“Nurufufufu~” he smirked down at you, “But that would take the fun out of surprising you.”

You huffed, sitting up.

“I think your talk with the boy went well.”

“...were you reading over my shoulder?”

Green stripes.

Of course.

You rolled your eyes, “Nosy.”

“Isn’t that a bit difficult given I don’t have one?”

You laughed, despite yourself.

“Whatever.”

He took a seat next to you and you leaned back against him. An arm looped itself around you gently and you sighed.

“So, I guess you’re not going to take it easy on me during drills because we’re dating, huh?”

He chuckled, green stripes back in place, “Why of course not! That would be doing a disservice to your progress!”

You sighed and flopped back across his lap, looking up at him, “Of course. Can’t do it for them, right?”

The laugh he gave was practically evil.

“Fiiiiine.”

Your eyes slipped closed. There was a soft touch to your cheek, his hand cupping it lightly. You leaned into the touch, enjoying it.

“And for the record...”

You opened your eyes, looking up at him.

“You do belong in E Class.”

You sighed, “I know.”

“I have a suspicion that you don’t.”

Making a face, you gave a long sigh, “Okay look, it’s like this.” you tapped your head, “Up here? I know. You’ve told me, the kids have told me. But in here...” you placed a hand over your heart.

“You’re struggling to accept it.”

You nodded slightly.

“It’s a common feeling. Not only with you or our students. But, just as you told Takebayashi, your difference is not a weakness.”

“Sure feels like it sometimes.”

He looked at you, his tone serious, “Reader… out of all the people on this planet, you are the one who is at the highest advantage should you choose to kill me.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“No, you don’t. But you don’t seem to fathom how much power that gives you.”

“It...” you huffed, “it doesn’t seem powerful.”

“And Takebayashi thinks that his skills are worthless.”

You were gathered up in his tentacles, pulled close, a kiss pressed to your cheek, “There are people the world over who would be happy to be in your position.”

You snorted, “Ah yes, hentai fans, right?”

He went pink, “I meant assassins!”

You laughed, “I know, I know. It’s just… I love you. It doesn’t...”

“Your refusal to kill me is just as powerful as your position, Reader.” he said softly, “The world wants me dead, your coworkers and students want me dead. There would be reward in it for you. But you refuse.”

“Because I love you!” you shot back, “Why would I-”

“You would be surprised what people will do for money.” his tone carried the note of truth that only experience provides.

_Friends and lovers betrayed each other in a heartbeat..._

You hugged him tightly and he made a slight sound of surprise, pulling you close. After a long moment, you parted and he grinned widely at you, “Now! How about dinner?”

You chuckled, getting to your feet, “Sure.”

After dinner, the two of you curled back up on the couch. You found yourself nodding off, leaning against him. It was warm and the television made a quiet droning in the background.

He bundled you closer, pulling you gently into his lap. You laughed a bit, "Hey..."

"You're falling asleep, Reader..."

"I know..." you yawned, "You're just so comfortable."

Pink.

You chuckled.

“Perhaps we should get to bed?”

You shook your head, “Not yet. We haven’t finished the movie.”

He nuzzled you, “You’re going to fall asleep in the middle again.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

You spent the rest of the film casually bickering about your ability to stay awake.

It was ridiculous and fun.

And at least here…

You felt you belonged.


	96. Sensitive (NSFW)

You’d finally stopped bickering for a bit and gotten to watching the movie properly. You were laying there, head in his lap, his hand idly playing with your hair.

You began to let your hand wander. Playing with the fabric of his robes, teasing at the exposed skin along the hem. He tensed just slightly and looked down at you. You pretended not to notice, keeping your eyes on the screen. After all the tormenting he’d done to you during drills today you were definitely going to at _ least _ tease him.

His skin was soft under your fingers. You trailed a hand along one of his legs, carefully slipping it into the gap.

He shuddered, a bright blush coloring his face as you ran your hand along the back of one of his legs.

Good, hypothesis correct. This area was sensitive.

You glided your hand up further until you reached your destination.

The surface was smooth warm skin. As you continued your exploration, he shifted a little. You glanced up at him.

He was pretending to still be watching the movie… but a familiar tendril coiled around your hand.

You tried to hold back your smile as you toyed with it, teasing him with light touches. He shivered. As you gently stroked it, it wrapped around your fingers, lacing between them.

It was hot but some small portion of your mind pointed out something.

Something ridiculous.

You were functionally holding hands with his dick. You tried not to laugh at the nonsensical-ness of it.

When you glanced up you could see that he was struggling to keep composure.

Untangling your fingers, you reached up to the base where the tentacle emerged and were rewarded with a shiver. Gently, you slid your hand back down the appendage.

There was a stifled moan from above you.

Now you did look up at him, a lazy smile on your face, "Mmmm… that's cute."

He looked down at you, cheeks pink, "Ah… I wasn't expecting…"

"Is it alright?"

He nodded, watching you.

You ran your hand gently along the tentacle, and it extended, his legs parted slightly and it came to hover before you, curled in on itself almost pensively.

That… was fucking adorable. You chuckled and reached out, hooking a finger around it to coax it closer. He tensed, a hand on your shoulder squeezing gently.

Pressing a kiss to the tip, you glanced up at him.

He was absolutely transfixed, his breathing quick and anxious.

Reaching your tongue out, you ran it delicately along the tentacle. He made a soft sound, the hand holding your shoulder trembling.

Perfect.

You guided the tentacle closer, wrapping your lips around the tip. The sound he made was filled with a kind of aching longing you hadn't heard from him before.

You looked up at him, running your hand along the tentacle as you teased him with your mouth.

He was shaking, his hand roving over your body under your shirt, down your legs, coming teasingly close to your groin.

You moaned and he let out a hushed groan of appreciation.

You grazed your hands along the sensitive skin, purposefully not taking him any deeper into your mouth.

Not yet...

His hand paused on your hip, gripping you.

“Reader...”

You glanced up at him, letting the appendage leave your lips for a moment.

“Hm?”

“You… ah...” he faltered and you watched in amusement at the tentacle before you curled in on itself almost shyly.

Trailing a finger along it caused it to unfurl. Softly, you ran your tongue across the sensitive skin and heard his breath hitch.

“Yeah?” you placed kisses gently along the tendril, “What is it?”

He whined softly and you chuckled, continuing to tease him with your tongue. He was tense, his hand still firmly grasping your hip.

“P-Please...” he managed to gasp out the word.

_ Cute… _

Gently, you sucked the tentacle into your mouth, using your hands to guide him. A deep moan came from him as you did so. When you glanced up next his head was dropped back on the couch, his mouth parted, panting. Oh, you  _ definitely _ liked that look.

You kept up, gently and slowly teasing at him and building him up until-

He let out a strangled gasp, hands tightening on you for a moment. You watched as colors flickered along his legs.

With a happy hum, you looked up at him, letting the tentacle slide from your mouth, "Are you okay?"

He stared at you, still panting, "Y-yes…"

There was something to his voice…

You turned your attention back to the tentacle before you, it was still writhing and twisting.

Maybe you'd stopped too soon?

Reaching out, you gently pulled the appendage back to you. As you sucked it in, he tensed and a moan dragged out of him. One of his hands kneaded at your shoulder gently, almost like a cat.

"R-Reader…" his voice was wavering, full of breathless need.

Oh, goddamn that was hot...

You gently guided him in and out of your mouth, almost letting him go before pulling him deeply back in with long gentle strokes. He squirmed, gasping and tensing under you. The tendril twisted, shivering the same way he was. You kept your grip gentle but firm, guiding each thrust. There was a cry, his body reflexively hunching over you. You hummed around him, colors shifting across his flesh, his moans soft and filled with tension.

…

How many times could he…?

Oh, you were  _ definitely _ testing that out.

Time for round three.

He let out a shaking breath, moving to pull the tentacle from your mouth. You gripped it a little more firmly than before, preventing him. He froze.

You moaned softly around it.

He shuddered but didn’t pull away.

"Reader?" The tone was full of anticipation and nerves.

You started up again, this time faster.

He writhed, "R-Reader!  _ Ah! _ "

You chuckled around him. Oh, that tone was  _ so good _ . Pleasantly surprised and desperate…

You moaned around him again, your hand gently guiding the tentacle, stroking your fingers along it.

He was panting, his body tense, taut. You loved the way he was trembling under your touch. When you could tell he was reaching another peak you paused, pulling away. He made a startled whine, staring at you as you slid to the floor. On your knees, you pulled the sensitive organ back towards you.

He was shaking.

You smiled up at him gently before wrapping your mouth around him.

He was grasping the sofa, his body uncontrollably twitching.

"R-Reader…  _ oh… yes... _ " you took as much of the tentacle into your mouth as you could, letting one hand roam up under his clothes, exploring the softness of his torso.

It was so good to hear him like this. Enjoying himself. Saying your name…

As you moved your head he squirmed, soft gasps and cries pouring from his lips. He was just so precious…

He gasped, arching, trying to hold himself together before-

"R-READER!"

Bright colors danced along his skin.

You didn't stop.

Cries and whines came from him and you noticed the colors lasted for quite a bit longer this time…

You slowed down, still tenderly running your tongue over him and watching his shudders with delight.

Finally, a hand came to rest on your shoulder, "R-Reader… I-I need a moment…"

You chuckled softly around him and then slowly let him retract the appendage from your mouth.

He was staring at you, trembling.

Shit, had you overdone it…

"That was okay… yeah?"

He laughed, dropping his head back against the couch, "That is a  _ vast _ understatement, but yes…"

He was panting softly, trying to catch his breath. You saw the tentacle retreat back to the space below his legs.

When he looked back down at you his expression was unreadable.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

He laughed softly and ran a hand across his face, "Yes… that was just…" he went pink, "I'm used to doing this alone… with a partner is… Ah…"

"Overwhelming?"

He nodded, "I've… never been overstimulated quite so fast before…"

You felt the blush rise in your cheeks and maybe a tiny spark of pride. You gently straddled his lap, kissing his cheek, "I hope it wasn't too much…"

"It was fantastic." His voice was sheepish, "I was surprised you kept going."

"Well, it seemed like you weren't  _ really _ done yet…"

His breath caught and he buried his face in your shoulder.

When he spoke it was quick and muffled, "Youwereright…"

"And you were just going to let me  _ stop? _ " You laughed, "You could have asked me to keep going!"

"I didn't want to ask too much of you…"

What a darling…

You pulled his face up to yours, kissing him, "I love doing that with you. It’s fun, I love the sounds you make, and you’re fucking adorable. You can always tell me if I can do something to make it better. I told you that the first time, remember?"

He gave a small nod and you chuckled, kissing him softly.

"You're really beautiful when you come, you know that?" You whispered.

He went bright pink, "Reader!"

You nuzzled him gently, "It's true. I love it."

He shivered. There was something to his look…

You smirked, “You know you talk a big game about being able to go all night for someone who had to stop after three.”

He yelped in offense, “YOU SURPRISED ME!”

“That’s your excuse for everything.~” you teased.

Tentacles wrapped around you, pulling you close, your face inches from his, “Well… you often do.” he kissed you and then smirked, “Besides, when I said go all night I wasn’t intending it to only be your  _ mouth _ I was using.”

Your eyes went wide and he faltered, going magenta.

“I- I mean-” he released you quickly, as though he’d touched a hot iron.

Ohhhh no, you weren’t letting him think that was too much. You grabbed his collar, pulling him into a rough kiss. He gasped against your lips. When you parted you stared at him, “You  _ could _ though.”

He made a startled, flustered sound, “Reader!”

You kissed him again, this time much gentler, “You know I love it when you talk like that, right?”

“I’m… aware I just...”

“And you seem pretty capable of it when you’re  _ distracted... _ ”

You sat back just a bit, running your hands along your body. He stared, wide-eyed.

Normally you'd feel more self-conscious but with him gasping, recovering from what you'd just done you were feeling pretty proud of yourself…

You hooked your thumbs into your pajama pants, tugging them down just a touch. Not enough to show anything but certainly lower than you'd normally wear them. He stared.

Trailing a hand down, you slipped it beneath the fabric, teasing at your sex.

And now the self-consciousness hit. You felt a blush rise in your cheeks but kept touching yourself, looking at him.

"I really do love doing that to you… and  _ god… _ I love it when you talk like that..."

His eyes widened further. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. They finally came to rest on your thighs gently.

"Knowing how hard it gets you off just..." your breath hitched just thinking about the way he'd moved.

His expression melted into fondness, "I'm glad that you like it… I know it's not everyone's preference…"

You smirked at him, " _ Anything _ that makes you sound like that is my preference…"

His expression flickered for a moment. Suddenly he was kissing you, and one of his hands had joined yours to tease you. His eyes went wide, "You… you really do enjoy that…"

You felt the heat of your blush and nodded. Then he brushed a spot that made you moan and shudder.

He chuckled, "Beautiful…"

You squirmed, gasping as he tended to you, his hand seemed to find every sensitive spot you had and zero in on them. Unable to keep yourself leaning back, you dropped your head against his shoulder. His hand only became more insistent.

"Perhaps we should get these off of you…" he whispered, tugging lightly at the band of your pants, "it may make it easier…"

You nodded, struggling to get out of your pants quickly. 

The second they were off you found yourself pulled back over, lips on yours and a hand teasing at your sex. You whined against his lips and he chuckled, speaking softly, “There…  _ much _ better.~”

Ohhh fuck…

How the fuck was he so good at that?

Occasionally a tendril would brush across your entrance. You yelped, tensing up on your knees, still straddling his lap. Tentacles supported you and you looked at him.

The self-consciousness hit you at full speed and you hid your face. Fuck…

Tentacles pulled you closer. His free hand coming up to cup your cheek, "You are outstanding."

You whimpered into the kiss he pressed to your lips and he paused, looking at you with concern, "Reader?"

You shivered, laughing nervously as you buried your face in his shoulder, "Just feeling a little uh…"

"Embarrassed?" He asked with a chuckle, his hand grazing your sex lightly now, softer than before.

"Exposed?" You replied.

Fuck, this was embarrassing. You felt shame well up, you'd started this and now you were feeling self-conscious? What the hell?

You'd been fine the first time…

You didn’t regret the first time...

His expression softened and in a sudden rush, you found yourself in your dark bedroom under the futon.

"Uh-"

Tentacles pulled you close, lips brushing yours, "Is this a bit more intimate for you?"

You took a moment, taking stock of your new surroundings. It was dark, he was warm, and you were under a light blanket. You laughed and pulled it up, cocooning the both of you under it, "Yes."

He kissed you softly, his hand taking to your sex again. Your laugh cut off into a whine as he focused on a spot that made you bite back moans. 

"Now, now, Reader… you don't want the neighbors hearing."

You shivered and he kissed you, speeding up the motion of his fingers, a tendril pressing against your entrance. You moaned into the kiss and he shuddered.

"I admit… I do love the way your mouth wraps around me…" he spoke haltingly at first but when you whined in response he seemed encouraged, "I always have to stop myself from simply burying it in you."

You looked up at him, panting softly, "You could bury it in both ends."

Neon pink.

"I could if that's what you would like…"

You laughed, gasping as a tendril teased at your entrance, "Do you really have to ask?" You smirked up at him, "I love everything you do to me.~"

He made a soft, flustered sound and you gasped as the tendril pushed into you.

You wanted to touch him, stroke him, return the feeling he was giving you. As your hands roamed over him you realized he'd discarded his clothes in the move as well.

His voice was gentle, warm against your ear, "Your body is a delight. I'm grateful that you're willing to share it with me…" 

The tendril inside you thrust in slow, gentle strokes. Whining, you gripped at his shoulder.

"I find myself wanting to…" he cupped your cheek, hand trailing along your neck, "I find myself wanting to try  _ so much _ with you."

You looked at him, your voice desperate, "You can do anything you want with me."

He froze for a moment, staring at you wide-eyed, a brilliant pink. There was a moment of breathless silence. 

His hand had stopped moving.

You whined, rocking your hips, "Korosensei…  _ Please… _ "

Your plea seemed to snap him out of it and his hand sped up, the small tendril inside you now being joined by another. The pair twisted and moved within you, coiling around one another. Not as big as his other ones but more than enough to tease at you.

The was propped up on one arm, leaning over to kiss you while hands and tentacles caressed your body. He watched you with an open fondness that made you turn your head and bury your face into his chest.

It was hard to process someone looking at you with that much love in their eyes.

When you came it wasn't the dramatic screaming orgasm from the other night. It was a soft warm shudder as you moaned against his skin. 

"Amazing." A soft kiss was pressed to your cheek and you were gathered closer to him, "Would you like to keep going?"

You let out a trembling sigh. After everything today and this? You were  _ wiped _ .

"I'd love to but I'm exhausted…"

He chuckled, green stripes fading into view, "I can't imagine why.~"

You laughed, putting a hand on his face, "Shush."

He nuzzled you, kissing along your cheek, “You are stunning.”

“It’s not fair to give me compliments when I can barely move.”

“Exactly, I have a captive audience.” he grinned down at you.

You pouted. 

His grin only widened, “Adorable~”

“Fine,” you pulled him down into a long, deep kiss. When you parted you spoke softly, “The next time I suck you off I just won’t stop until you can’t speak anymore.”

He made a strangled yelp, going magenta.

You grinned evilly up at him, “Or maybe I’ll-”

He clapped a hand over your mouth and you laughed, “I’ve found it. The ultimate weapon against the octopus.”

His face went sour, “Keep in mind, Reader...” 

Before you could blink you were clean, fully clothed, and tuck in next to him under a fresh blanket, “I can still outpace you.”

It took you a second to adjust. What the fuck…

You looked at your pajama top and then back to him.

Green stripes and a ridiculous smirk.

You definitely weren’t letting him think he had the upper hand.

“Stopping after three isn’t really outpacing,” you smirked.

Flustered octopus noises.

You laughed and pulled him into a kiss. 

When you parted there was a measure of uncertainty in his voice, “Would you rather I go for longer...”

Laughing, you shook your head, nuzzling him, “Relax. I’m only teasing you. Wouldn’t mind doing that one night but doesn’t have to be every single time or I really wouldn’t be able to run drills.”

He laughed softly, “Alright.”

You snuggled up against him, “I love you.”

A hand ran gently over your back, “I love you, too.”

You reached up, stroking his cheek softly. It was still, quiet. His breathing soft beside you.

No matter how this year ended…

There was no way you would regret this...


	97. For A Little While Longer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys might have noticed a slow down on the chapters. I promise you this isn't due to me losing interest! I've just been busy with my freelance artwork. That, and, given we're in season two and there's like a ridiculous amount of chapters I periodically need to check back on bits in chapters for things so it takes a little time.  
> But thank you guys so much for continuing to read this super self-indulgent thing. Seriously.  
> I honest to god thought no one would like it when I started it and now we're like almost a year later and people love it and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
> Also, I'm so sorry I'm so far behind on the illustrations XD I've just been, like I said, doing work work on my end. I do plan to keep illustrating though because it's great painting practice and it's fun.  
> And there's fanart. oTL YALL IVE GOTTEN FANART???  
> If you have fanart and want to post it online, by all means, please do! Or email it to me (shrineheartcreations@gmail.com) or show me. I would love to link the images in the fic because AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (I swear I'll get the ones I have linked eventually oTL)  
> And, reminders:  
> I have an 18+ server for Ass Class and this fic. You can join [here](https://discord.gg/2sjbVbG) if you're over 18 and are interested in Ass Class.
> 
> And if you haven't seen it yet, there are Spotify Playlists for both parts of the fic:  
> [Senbazuru Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3EfiMY17N1VdJCetnDGzrC)  
> [Cranes and Threads Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1s5XEJIyP4ICQPKEEHZ4sd)

You woke up to a chime from your phone. As you moved to reach for it you realized you were entangled in a very clingy octopus. You laughed, struggling to reach and finally managing to creep it over with the tips of your fingers.

It was an email reminder from the school.

There was an assembly today.

“Another one?” you muttered, curious.

“Mn?” the octopus leaned over your shoulder, “The assembly notice, yes?”

“...were you awake this whole time?”

He grinned at you.

“Why didn’t you let me get my phone?”

“It was much more amusing to watch you try.”

You laughed, playfully smacking his chest. He kissed your cheek. Settling back next to him, you looked over the email, “Any idea what this is about?”

“It’s to commemorate the first private school Principal Asano opened.”

“...so more gloating, basically.”

“One could call it that.”

“I mean… you’d know,” you smirked at him.

“I’ll have you know I’m quite humble! I just happen to be fully aware of my abilities.”

You rolled your eyes with a laugh, “Uh-huh. Well… we got some time to get ready I guess...”

“We do...”

“So are you going to let me get up?”

He pulled you closer, “A little while longer…?”

Laughing, you kissed him.

“Okay.”

Instead of the usual lunch schedule, the assembly was happening this morning. He dropped you off as usual and you made your way across the campus to the hall. A familiar stiff figure was walking ahead of you. You ran to catch up.

“Karasuma! Morning!”

He looked over at you. There was still a slight chill to his demeanor but he gave you a nod.

“Do we really have to sit through another one of these jerk-off sessions?” Irina asked, walking up beside you.

Karasuma sighed, “It’s school policy.”

“I mean if I wanted to watch a guy get off on people being humiliated, I’d just take that other job Lovro suggested. Target was a kinkster.”

You snorted, trying not to laugh. You didn’t want to annoy Karasuma anymore than you already had. He glanced over at the pair of you.

This man was so done and the assembly hadn’t even started yet.

You felt a little pity for him but, colorful language aside, Irina was right. This was fucking stupid.

Most of the class was already lined up when you entered. The kids were standing, clearly aloof and bored. You knew the feeling. Right now you were envious of the octopus’ top-secret status. It’d be nice to have a legitimate reason for not coming.

You yawned-

Oh…

My god?

Entangled in the support beams of the ceiling was a familiar shape.

A familiar shape that had apparently popped out to get a suntan before the assembly.

How the fuck was no one noticing…

You caught Karasuma’s eye and pointedly looked up. He did the same for a moment before giving a long-suffering sigh and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Just… don’t give it any extra attention.”

You really didn’t envy Karasuma’s job right now.

The rest of the year had filed in by now and the crowd went silent as a figure strode out onto the stage.

“What did I tell you?” Irina scoffed quietly, “Jerk off session.”

The boy at the podium was Takebayashi. His figure was full of tension, eyes on a paper in his hands.

There were quiet murmurs from the class that stilled as the boy spoke.

“I would like to talk to you about something I wish to do.” he leaned forward to the mic, “The students of E Class, where I used to be, look weak. Because they lack what we call academic strength, everyone else looked down on them.”

Your students looked tired, irritated. Maehara looked like he might just have an outburst.

Suddenly, Takebayashi shrugged, a smile lighting up his face, “But to me, E Class is the second most comfortable place to be in the world- other than a maid cafe.”

There were sounds of surprise from the gathered students. You watched as your class’ faces lit up.

“I've been lying to myself and to you.” the boy put his hands on the podium, looking out across the student body, “Because I wanted to be strong and to be accepted. But, even though I was the most useless among E Class and betrayed them on top of that, my classmates still kept coming back to check on me.”

His smile softened, looking embarrassed, “My teacher used every possible method to try and teach me even though I'm a loser.” 

There was a look of resolve on the boy’s face. A freed smile, “I, who was unaccepted by my family, and all of you, was treated as an equal by everyone of E Class.”

You had a feeling this wouldn’t end well for the boy but…

Damn, right now you were proud of him. 

“When I made my decision to return to the main campus I told two people who are a part of the class.”

Oh…

“They didn't only accept it. They supported it.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face. 

“That is the kind of classroom, E Class is.”

And it wasn’t just you. All of your students were standing proud, smiling. 

He gestured to the assembled students, “You're all striving to become true winners and accepted by society. You're right to have that goal and I respect you for it. But... for a little while longer, I'm fine with being weak, being a loser, an underdog. I don’t mind being an underdog. Weakness may be a burden to you but in E Class it’s also a joy. And as such I’m going back to my life there. Back to a life of aiming for the necks of the strong.”

He shuffled the papers in front of him as the principal’s son stormed onto the stage. He was livid, “Take it back and apologize, Takebayashi! Or else-”

Takebayashi straightened, holding up something in one hand that gleamed under the lights of the stage. His response was cool and collected, “I stole this from the principal’s office. Apparently, it’s a plaque awarded to the ‘best principal’.”

Asano stopped in his tracks.

Takebayashi reached into his jacket, pulling out-

You didn’t think you could grin any wider.

That was the same kind of knife you’d been given for target practice on the octopus. Wooden and heavy.

He raised it above his head, “Our principal is a strong man. All of his actions are rational.”

The knife came down and the plaque in his hand shattered across the stage, glass tinkling across the floor.

“According to Asano,” he gestured to his classmate who was standing, dumbfounded, next to him, “in the past, another student did something like this. Based on that precedent, logically,” he grinned, “I'd say it's off to E Class for me as well.”

With that said, Takebayashi moved past Asano, heading back towards the curtain.

The boy called after him, “Hold it! There really is no saving you, is there? And here we went through all the trouble to give you the chance to be someone.”

Takebayashi paused, pushing his glasses up. His voice was loud and clear as he responded, “Be someone? Someone like you? Someone who’s scared?”

And with that, the boy departed.

The assembly was in a bit of a scramble, the student body president taking over in a flustered fashion. His usual E Class barbs, however, fell flat.

Because all of your students were grinning from ear to ear.

It was during drills that afternoon that Takebayashi finally returned to E Class. The second he stepped out of the schoolhouse he was practically swarmed by his fellow classmates laughing and welcoming him back. You joined the party.

“Takebayashi!” Sugino threw an arm around him with a grin.

“Gotta hand it to you four eyes, that took balls.” Terasaka gave him a smirk, falling in step with them.

Takebayashi had gone a bit pink at the attention, shrugging slightly, “It was a rational move.”

“Oh, shut the hell up!” Maehara was laughing, “It was amazing.”

You heard Nagisa mutter in the background, “Didn’t you slap _me_ when I did something out of character?”

"Welcome back, Takebayashi." You gave the boy a smile.

He looked up at you and, for the first time since school started, you saw something in the boy. A comfortable settling. A look of belonging.

"We losers have to stick together, right?"

You nodded.

The class around him laughed and cheered. Karma leaned in over his shoulder, "Who are you calling a loser? Last I checked you shut down Asano in front of the whole student body. I think _delinquent_ might be the right term for you."

Takebayashi gave a soft laugh and suddenly the octopus was there. He stood before the boy, his grin wide, pride radiating from him.

"Welcome back, Takebayashi, m'boy. I'm glad to see you've opted to continue your life as an assassin! However, I must remind you that breaking glass, especially on a stage, is very dangerous. You could have injured your fellow students."

“I’m sorry, Sensei.” the boy gave a slight bow, “But given the circumstances, I thought it was the best course of action.”

“I’m inclined to agree.” Korosensei chuckled, patting the boy’s head lightly, “I’m happy to see you’ve broken your chains.”

The boy gave a smile and then shrugged, pushing his glasses up, “Well, I couldn’t let Terasaka go to the maid cafe unsupervised. Who knows what sort of an ass he would have made of himself?”.

“WHO ARE YOU SAYING NEEDS SUPERVISION FOUR EYES?!” Terasaka threw an arm around him in a headlock. As much as he struggled, you could see the grin that Takebayashi was unable to hide.

The boy flailed. The class laughed. And everything, once again, felt right with the world.

On one of your breaks during drills you found yourself staring out at your students. They looked happier, their actions more cohesive. As you took a drink of your water bottle, that pervasive, nagging feeling tugged at you again. A vicious whisper echoing in the back of your brain.

_“You don’t belong here.”_

Did you belong anywhere? Really?

You hadn’t belonged at home.

It was why you’d come here.

You could try to fit in as much as possible. Do the same drills, work with your co-workers towards the same goals, but…

At the end of the day.

You didn’t belong here.

There was a rush of wind and a tentacled hand settled on your shoulder, “I know that look.”

You huffed, glancing over at him and capping the bottle, “Yeah?”

“That’s doubt.” he spoke softly, “The doubt you have in yourself, in your confidence to be a part of this classroom.”

The bareness of the way he said it stung.

“However,” his hand squeezed your shoulder lightly, “Whether you believe it or not, Reader, you are a part of this classroom. I have faith that this is right where you were meant to be.”

You wanted to reach up, take his hand…

But there were too many people here to do that right now…

“Thanks… I’ll… keep trying to believe that...”

He gave a slight chuckle, leaning in, “So, I was thinking Pirozhki for lunch. Would you be interested?”

“Pirozhki?” the question silenced the voice in your head simply by being confusing.

“Russian baked buns filled with savory fillings.” he grinned wider, “We could couple it with some blini or ponchiki if you like.”

You laughed, “If I didn’t know your eating habits I would think you’re making half of these things up. Sure. I’ll buy.”

He looked especially excited by your offer. 

A thought crossed your mind, “You always pronounce stuff so perfectly. How do you talk so clearly with your teeth like that?”

He smirked at you, "Let's just say I have a very talented mouth."

HA

OKAY

SURE UH

What he said seemed to have caught up with him, “AnywayIhavealessonplantoprepareseeyouatlunch!”

And just like that, he was gone.

You rubbed at your face, laughing a little.

What an idiot…

“Mx. Reader.”

You were in the nurses’ office, giving things a rub down. The place had been sitting relatively empty over the summer and with classes starting back up soon it could use a dusting. When you looked up you saw Takebayashi standing in the doorway.

“Hey there!” you gave him a smile, “Adjusting alright to being back?”

He nodded but there was…

There was something about the boy’s face.

“I have something I need to address with you.” his speech was sparse, taut.

“What’s wrong?” you took a seat, offering him the chair across from your desk.

As he sat, he fidgeted, “There’s… well… there’s a relationship in this classroom that is… unconventional and I worry might interfere with the assassination.”

Your blood went cold.

Had you been that obvious?

Sure, the kids had been joking about it but-

The festival.

You’dkissedtheoctopusatthefestivalfuck.

“Oh?” no need to give everything away, maybe you could play it off as something innocent…

He nodded, “It’s… very unusual and I feel like the individuals involved might be targeted because of it.”

Ha…

Fuck.

Great.

“Ohhhkay, well… what sort of relationship is it?” you leaned forward, arms folded on your desk.

“A romantic one...” the boy had gone pink.

“Well, what’s unconventional about it?”

“One of the two people involved isn’t human.” the boy stared at you.

HA

FUCK

SHIT

You took a breath, “Okay… well, what is it you want to do about this situation?”

“I... ” he shifted, there was something in his expression, “I don’t know. I feel like telling the class is important because of the mission but… it also feels like it would cause trouble.”

“Well... ”

The octopus’ words came to mind suddenly.

_I’m a teacher first, target second._

_If you have promised to share information with them. I believe you should._

You steadied yourself. It was bound to come out at some point.

Even if you hoped you could hold onto this secret for a little while longer...

“If you feel it’s important to tell the class, then you should.” you gestured, “Especially if it will interfere with the assassination.”

The boy gave a small nod, “Thank you, Mx. Reader.” he rose, still looking stiff and uncomfortable, “I’ll try.”

As the boy left, you pulled out your phone, texting the octopus.

If this was going to come out, you both needed to be prepared.


	98. Kintsugi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illustration to come!

You left work tense, anxious. Korosensei had agreed that meeting up directly after work wasn’t the best of plans. Which left you riding the train home, your nerves on edge. 

What were you going to do about this?

More importantly, how had the boy figured it out? Was it the festival kiss? Had Ritsu been tracking your messages?

You tipped your head back for a moment, closing your eyes and listening to the sounds of the train.

The term had just started, could things maybe chill? Just a little?

Your hand found the two omamori attached to your bag, rubbing them between your fingers.

One for luck and one for happiness.

_ Please… _

You didn’t know who you were even asking.

_ I know I don’t deserve it. But please… _

Prayer had never been your strong suit.

_ Just a little longer. _

But right now you needed something bigger than yourself.

_ Please... _

Faith in something. Faith that things could turn out okay…

“Mx. Reader? Are you alright?”

The voice startled you and when you looked up you found yourself staring forward at-

“Oh! Mrs. Konda, hello!” you could hear the crack in your voice.

Fuck.

Of course, it was your neighbor.

It was hard to fake it right now…

The little old woman frowned at your tone and rose, carefully, from her seat, moving to sit beside you.

You gave her a smile but felt it waver a bit. She gave you a knowing look and offered you a tissue, “You don’t want to cry in front of strangers.”

You gave a nod, accepting it and quickly wiping at your eyes before taking a deep breath, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” she eyed you, “Did something go poorly today?”

Wh-

How did you even begin to answer that?

“Ah… yes. It did.”

“Something with your class?”

Sure. Sure that would… that would work.

“Yes.” you nodded.

“You are worried.” she nodded, knowingly, “A mother can tell.”

The pair of you sat in quiet for a moment.

It was… odd. Where you were from a person might approach with more concern but somehow this gentle acknowledgment, this lack of fuss…

It was calming.

“It… I don’t know how it’s going to turn out...” you managed quietly.

“Are you waiting for news of it? Is that why you’re worried?”

You looked up at her.

That was… well, that was one way to put it.

“Yes.”

“Ah.” she nodded, “A mother can tell.”

You tried not to smile at that and failed. Her eyes crinkled just a bit.

“Remember, Mx. Reader,” she chuckled lightly, “Giving birth to a baby is easier than worrying about it.”

What did she-

She took pity on you and explained.

“This thing you are worried about. Perhaps it won’t be so bad.”

Oh, if only she knew…

“I hope it’s not.”

She smiled, “I hope so too.”

When your stop arrived, you helped her carry her groceries upstairs. You figured it was the least you could do for her reassurance. While on the stairs, she spoke without looking at you, her attention pointedly on the stairwell, “Is your friend stopping by again?”

“Ah-” 

Whelp that uh, shit…

“He’s a nice man. I have a recipe that he asked for.”

Was… shit, she had to be talking about the octopus… right?

“Uh… you mean the friend I’ve had staying over?”

She glancing back at you, knowingly, “Yes, I believe so. He’s a large fellow, very tall.”

Yeeeeep okay.

“Yeah, he’s stopping by...”

“Shall I leave the recipe with you then? I imagine the two of you might be busy.”

You were going to die.

This woman knew.

She had to know.

You had someone coming over regularly and spending the night, of course, she knew you were an item.

“If you’d like to.”

She chuckled and opened the door to her apartment. You passed her bags to her and she vanished inside for a moment, reappearing with a folded piece of paper, “Here you are. Tell him the tea was excellent.”

“Ah… sure! And… thanks for on the train…”

She nodded, “You’re welcome. Have a good evening with your… friend.”

You quickly said your goodbyes and hurried to your apartment.

Oh.

God.

If your neighbors knew it was no wonder the kids had figured it out…

You leaned with your back against the door with a sigh.

What were you going to do about th-

There was a knock on the door behind you and you faltered.

Wha-

You turned, opening it to see a familiar grinning face.

“I’m glad to see you arrived home in one piece.”

You opened the door practically dragging him inside.

“Reader-”

“I think my neighbor knows we’re a thing.” you were fretting, fuck, “And with Takebayashi today-”

Before you had a chance to finish your sentence you were bundled onto the couch with a cup of tea in your hands and a tentacle around your shoulders.

“I think you  _ might  _ need to steady your nerves a bit.” he grinned down at you.

You let out a sigh and leaned against him, “How can you be so calm about this?”

“Because,” a tendril touched your cheek lightly, "We knew this day might come. I’ve prepared."

"I know, I just didn't expect it to be so soon."

The mug in your hands was warm. You put your focus into that, into the sweetness of the tea, the comfort of the warmth.

"Well, thankfully I  _ do _ have a solution."

You looked up at him.

Green stripes crossed his face, "I simply tell the government that if they take you off the project I'll destroy the Earth  _ sooner. _ "

"What? But-"

He chuckled, "It's a bluff, of course, but  _ not _ a threat they can take lightly."

Sipping the tea, you considered that. No one had to know it was an empty threat. It could certainly work…

You took a small measure of solace in that.

"The real concern lies in after." He continued, his voice taking on a measure of concern, "They could decide to use you as bait."

You remembered what he'd said after the first night he’d spent at your place.

_ “We wouldn’t want you becoming a target too.” _

Things had been so relaxed between the two of you. It was like you’d forgotten the outside world could still see in. 

“Shit...” you made a face, “Seems like I’m more of a liability than-”

A tendril pressed to your lips and he gave you a look, “Hmmm… what was it you said to me? That I was an emotional asset?”

Goddammit.

He gently pulled you into his lap, “You are no more a liability than my students. You, Reader,” he tipped your face up gently, “are a risk worth taking.”

Fuck.

You buried your face against his chest, feeling it heat up, “Okaythat’snotfairyoucan’tjustsaythat.”

“Nurufufufu~ And why’s that?”

“You’re trying to distract me.”

“And what’s so wrong about that?” he ran a hand over your hair, “Reader, you are worried. And your worry is not unjustified! But we can’t be certain of tomorrow’s outcome. We can only prepare for it.”

You sighed. He was right. He’d told you to prepare from the get-go. Reminded you that it would happen.

But… how did you prepare for something uncertain like this?

“Mmmm you’re Detective Face is back again.”

Looking up at him, you shifted, "I know we don't know what's coming tomorrow but tonight could we... I don't know..."

"You want to treat this night as if it is our last." His voice was gentle.

You nodded.

He gathered you close, kissing you, "There's nothing I'd rather do."

You buried your face in his robes.

_ Old books and summer rain… _

God, you hoped this wouldn't be your last night together…

“I think I know what you need,” he said softly.

And before you could register what happened there was a rush and you found yourself seated on the futon on your floor, a pillow fort built around you. He was sitting beside you, his pajamas in place.

You laughed.

God… if the worst happened…

You would miss this…

Leaning in, you kissed him gently, “Let me get a proper shower, yeah?”

He nodded, “Of course.”

When you emerged, you could smell something savory cooking and your stomach growled in response. You had been fretting so much you hadn’t even considered dinner…

“I do hope you like curry rice.” he said from the kitchen, “Mrs. Konda makes a wonderful variant of it.”

“Oh, you found her note?” you joined him in the kitchen, he was currently busy plating rice with a side of thick brown curry.

He chuckled, “Yes. I assume she’s the neighbor you believe knows about us?”

You nodded, “When did you even meet her?”

“I stopped by to introduce myself. After all, if I’m going to be coming and going it’s only polite.”

“She said she liked the tea?”

He grinned over at you, passing you a plate, “I brought her some masala chai, directly from Mumbai of course.”

Taking a seat, you shook your head, “You are something else, you know that?”

“So everyone keeps telling me.” he chuckled, green stripes in place.

Rolling your eyes, you took a bite of your food.

Warm, rich curry, the barest hint of spice. Everything cooked to perfection…

He chuckled and when you looked up you saw that he’d snapped another photo of you.

“Again?” you protested.

“Of course. You’re charming when you’re enjoying something.”

You huffed then paused, looking down at your plate. A thought bubbled to the surface of your mind, making your stomach clench.

“I’m not doing a very good job taking care of you I guess...”

There was a surprised sound from him, “Where on Earth did that come from?”

“You do so much for me… I can’t even keep us a secret. I don’t-”

“Enough of that.” a tendril pressed to your neck lightly, laying against your carotid, “You take care of me far more than you know.”

You took a calming breath.

“Eat.” a tendril passed over your hair, “Then we can talk about things.”

Nodding, you took up another bite pushing aside thoughts of tomorrow.

You could worry more when your stomach was full.

After dinner, you insisted on doing the dishes. You expected him to fuss but he seemed to understand that you wanted to do  _ something _ helpful so he left you to it.

When you came back into the living room a tentacle reached out from the pillow fort, guiding you over to it and tugging you down beside him. You accepted the comfort gladly.

A kiss was pressed to your forehead.

Things were never going to slow down for either of you, were they?

It was always going to be like this until…

You sighed.

That wasn’t tonight.

That wasn’t right now.

Right now you were entangled in his arms, warm and safe…

"Thank you…" it came out soft, muffled in against his pajamas.

"Whatever for?" He grinned down at you.

"For loving me even though I'm broken."

A tinge of blue entered his complexion, "I don't consider you broken.” his voice was soft, gentle, “I consider you to be healing.”

You turned curious eyes up to him. His hand stroked your cheek, "Much like a broken bone, to have been damaged and mended only makes you that much stronger.” he kissed your forehead, “Tell me, have you heard of kintsugi before?”

Slowly, you shook your head.

“It’s a technique, an art actually, used here to repair broken pottery.”

“Yeah?”

Where was he going with this?

“You see, the broken dish is repaired with a lacquer colored with gold or silver. The cracks are filled with something precious.”

You brought a hand up, holding his gently.

“We’re all imperfect, Reader.” there was a tinge, the barest tinge, of blue in his face.

Your thoughts drifted to Okinawa...

"Broken people from broken homes trying to live broken lives…" you murmured.

"Nue?" He looked down at you, curious.

"It… was a thought I had about assassins…" you hoped he didn’t take offense, “After Irina told her story.”

“Ah… yes, one does not generally enter this business with a happy childhood.” his tone was measured.

You nodded.

“I...” you took a breath, “I know we're not perfect. I just… I don’t know. I feel broken sometimes. I feel like a lot of people are.”

He chuckled, "It's true. Aguri helped me start putting my pieces back together. I like to think that you and our classroom, keep me whole.”

“But  _ I’m _ not broken?” you glanced up at him, you hadn’t meant it to but it almost came out as a challenge.

“You were once, I think. But you’ve come a long way since then.” his hand brushed your cheek, “There’s far more gold holding you together than you realize.”

You nuzzled against him and he pulled you close, kissing you softly. The undercurrent of anxiety and sorrow was still creeping up inside you.

Tendrils came to rest against your throat and wrist again. His voice was gentle, “I know that you have your doubts about yourself… perhaps even about us.”

What-

You looked up at him.

“And I know that I can’t amend that overnight, but please understand,” He touched his forehead to yours, “You are wonderful. Real. Perfectly imperfect. And you take care of me just fine.” he chuckled, “You’re more concerned about my wellbeing than anyone I’ve ever met I think.”

You felt your face flush, “I mean… you just… you’re soft and you have so many weaknesses and-”

He laughed, kissing your forehead, “But I’m also exceptionally clever. Any good assassin must be. We’ll make it through tomorrow, Reader.”

You took a breath.

_ Have faith. _

_ Trust. _

He wasn’t defenseless.

He was clever and quick.

And between the two of you, you could sort through this...

“I know...” you snuggled closer to him, “I’m  _ so glad _ I met you.”

“And I you.” one hand stroked your back gently.

“And for the record.” you glanced up at him, “I don’t have doubts about us.”

A pink tinge entered his cheeks and you felt the tentacles around you squeeze just a bit tighter.

For a long moment, it was the soft sounds of your breathing, the warmth of him around you. You thought back over the year, your face pressed into his neck.

There was so much…

So many little moments...

Offering him a box of cookies.

His finger hooked in yours, promising not to leave.

That quiet night in Kyoto.

Tomita Farm.

Standing in the rain, watching the children.

A knife being pressed into your hand.

That first kiss on the road home.

The numbing fear every time he was injured.

The exhilarating triumph when he survived.

You squeezed his hand gently, “Aguri really did some work on you then.”

He looked down at you in surprise, “Hm?”

“You’re golden, after all,” you smirked, kissing his hand gently.

He went neon pink and you laughed, hugging him tightly.

God…

You hoped you could have more moments like this.


	99. Perfect (NSFW)

Hands trailed across your body, idle, exploratory. You welcomed the sensation. You'd missed touch. You'd missed touch so much…

"If we're to treat this as our last night together…" his voice was warm, his breath soft against your cheek, "Would you let me love you?"

His tone, the way his hands grasped you… 

He certainly meant something more intimate than this. 

It would take the edge off your nerves and it could very well be your last chance…

"As long as I can do the same." You smiled as his forehead pressed to yours.

It was hushed between you. His lips found yours and hands began to gently remove your clothing. Kisses placed along the newly bared skin. It was dark, quiet, you could see his silhouette from the light of the window as he slid out of his own clothes.

He could be undressed instantly.

Which made his deliberate choice not to at all, the more sweet.

He leaned over you, grin softened, pink across his body. He looked completely infatuated.

It was still hard to accept such unabashed affection. For a moment you tried to hide your face. Then a tendril brushed your hair back.

You looked up at him, he trailed a hand along your cheek and you turned your head, drawing his finger into your mouth. He shivered, watching you for a moment before pulling his hand away and kissing you, slowly, passionately. You cupped his face, pulling him close, hungrily. Tentacles were beginning to glide along your body. You gasped as he ran one along your sex. There was no nervous laughter, no banter or back and forth.

There was just the two of you enjoying one another in the hushed dark.

"I love you." It came out a whisper.

"And I, you, Reader."

You felt a tentacle slide between your thighs as the first continued to stroke your sex. the contact made him shiver. Curious, you squeezed your legs together, feeling the tentacle between them thrust experimentally. He groaned, his hands curling across your back to clasp at your shoulders. His head dropped forward with a shaking breath. The tentacle against your sex was still moving in long, languid strokes.

He trembled, the tentacle still slowly moving between your thighs. The tentacle against your sex teased and curled against you, making you squirm and clench your legs a bit tighter. You were rewarded with a soft moan against your neck in response.

"You're beautiful." You whispered, kissing him.

He held you closer, returning the kiss.

“I’m so lucky.” you said softly, “To get to ex-” you gasped softly at his motions, “experience you...”

His lips grazed yours again, “I do believe that I’m the lucky one.”

You tipped your head back as he kissed along your throat softly. His skin was smooth to the touch, almost slick as you ran your hand across the back of his head. You were surprised when he kissed lower, down your chest, your stomach…

Tentacles moved aside and-

You thought with those teeth that this would be a problem.

You thought _ wrong _ .

“A-Ah!” Your hands clasped at the blankets, the warmth of his mouth hot against your sex.

He pressed a kiss to it and spoke softly, “Mmm is this acceptable?”

You laughed, putting a hand on your face.

What the fuck way was that to-

God… you loved this idiot.

You looked down at him with a grin and reached down, running one hand over his cheek, “It’s perfect...”

He leaned into the touch for just a moment before green stripes crossed his face and he took you into his mouth.

Oh fuck-

You gasped, your hand resting on the back of his head, the other grasping at the blankets again. Fuck, how? How on Earth did that feel  _ that  _ good?

The touch was velvety, smooth and warm. You felt shudders run along your spine as he focused on your most tender places. A hum sounded against you, then his mouth left you.

With a whine, you looked down at him. He was looking at you again, lovingly. When he spoke it was in the soft tone that you’d come to associate with him at his most sincere, “You taste divine.”

A-AHA oh GOD

You covered your face with an embarrassed squeak which quickly turned into soft cry as his lips surrounded you again. One arm came up, wrapping itself around yours, his fingers entangling in yours. You squeezed his hand as he drew his tongue along your sex teasingly.

Another hand came up, resting against the pulse of your throat for a moment before gently skating across the skin, trailing over your chest. A tendril ran back over your hair and you brought your free hand down, running it over his head gently. Encouraged, his mouth became more insistent, the suction warm and just…

You began to buck your hips slightly and tentacles came up, grasping them and guiding them so that he could keep a rhythm. God that-

“You are s-so good…” you whispered, trying to bite back moans.

Fuck if you wanted to disturb the neighbors any further…

He chuckled softly against you, lifting his head to speak, a tentacle taking the place of his mouth for a moment, “Is that so?”

You whined, “Yes!”

“Hmmm… Well, I imagine you’ll have more to say about that momentarily...”

“Wha-”

His mouth returned to your sex with a happy hum and you felt a smooth, warm tentacle press against your entrance gently. You squirmed, moaning softly as he entered you. A tendril came up, pressing lightly against your lips, “Now Reader… we wouldn’t want to upset the neighbors.~”

This fucker…

You glanced down at him, “Then give me something to keep my mouth busy...”

Green stripes vanished instantly and he went a brilliant pink. You couldn’t help but laugh softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the tendril that had been shushing you. It curled inward, almost shyly. Giving his hand a squeeze you smiled down at him.

“Are you certain?”

You nodded, “You really gotta ask that?”

“Well, you did make quite the impression about consentacles.”

You laughed, dropping your head back, “You’re never going to let me forget tha-ah...”

The tentacle inside you was still moving slowly, making you shudder. Another pearlescent tentacle drew up your chest and you reached up, stroking it lightly.

“Of course not.” he chuckled, breathless.

As you stroked the tentacle, a thought occurred to you.

“Hey...”

He had been staring at you and immediately jerked in surprise, moving to press his mouth to you again, “Sorry I-”

You laughed, “No, no I uh… Would it be weird to ask what um… these looked like before?”

You toyed with the sensitive tentacle before you, petting it lightly.

He paused, staring at you, eyes slightly wide. The pink from before had transitioned to a deep magenta, looking almost black in the dim light.

“Sorry, it’s okay if that’s something you don’t want to-”

You felt the tentacle in your hand shift and when you looked…

_ OH. _

That was a cock.

Still magenta and pearlescent but the shape was distinctly human.

Gently, you ran your fingers over it, exploring. The first thing you noticed was that it was uncut. You weren’t sure why it surprised you but it did. His breath hitched as your fingers traced the head, trailing down the shaft curiously.

“You're not disappointed are you?”

You laughed a little, “Why would I be?”

He was quiet for a long moment, his motions had stilled.

Shit, was he oka-

“Ah...” he shifted, “Could you...”

You paused, looking between him and the tentacle in your hand. He offered it to you, still a deep magenta.

You chuckled, “Won’t it just be the same?”

He looked like he was having a complete meltdown. His voice cracked as he spoke, “The visual is still...”

Oh, that…

That was  _ cute _ .

Drawing the tentacle forward, you pressed a light kiss to the tip.

It made sense. He  _ was _ human after all and he  _ definitely _ had a thing for oral.

Gently you ran your tongue along the underside before teasing lightly at the head.

His eyes were fixed on you, wide and staring.

You looked up at him and opened your mouth, taking him in. He shivered, his hand clasping yours harder.

The tentacle in your mouth began to move carefully. You kept your eyes on him.

He was absolutely entranced.

That made you want him, just absolutely crave him.

His mouth surrounded your sex again and a moan dragged from you. There was a soft sound from him, broken and needing.

God…

Running your hand along the tentacle gently, you guided him, enjoying the soft sweetness and the shudders that echoed through it. His tongue continued its work on you, the tentacle within withdrew for a moment and as it pressed into you again you could feel the change in shape. 

A hand ran over your hair, tendrils stroked your skin, and the heat of his mouth against your sex drew soft moans from you. He was shivering, tentacles and hands gripping you tighter as he sped up. The sounds he was making were eager, wanting…

God…

You loved him.

His eyes were on you, transfixed by your motions. In the dark warmth of this pillow fort he’d made, it was easier having his eyes on you. Especially when he was so clearly captivated. 

Drawing him out of your mouth you paused, pressing a kiss to the head. Gently, you ran your tongue under the skin covering it before taking him back in.

He stifled a moan against your sex, the tentacles around you tightening slightly. His shoulders tensed and his eyes broke contact with yours, overwhelmed. You rocked your hips, enjoying the warmth and the heat of his breath, his face, the way he was filling you…

The tentacle inside you had picked up the pace. The one in your mouth, though, was careful, he let your hands guide him. You drew him out again, placing kisses along it.

Another strained sound came from him, his mouth becoming more insistent against you.

You gasped, your hand gently squeezing around him, “F-fuck… ah...”

His hand squeezed yours as he hummed around your sex, a slight chuckle coming from him. You gently pulled back on the tentacle exposing a little more of the head before flicking your tongue against it. The sound he made was practically a yelp. You paused, looking at him.

He looked up at you, shaking, and gave a small nod.

Gentler, you ran your tongue over him. The tentacle below practically buried itself inside you. He gasped and you felt the tentacle in your hand push against your mouth for a moment before recoiling slightly. He was panting against you, “R-Reader...”

Drawing him back in you chuckled, “Mmmhm?”

You thought that what he was doing with his mouth before was amazing.

Then he did something, you weren’t sure what exactly, but you felt the nerves all the way down your legs light up and clutched tightly at his hand. You couldn’t help it, you moaned around him louder than before, your body shaking, legs tensed.

And then you found yourself whining around him, arching and struggling as your body reached its limit. If your mouth wasn’t occupied, you would have screamed.

As the feeling began to ebb the tentacle in your mouth hesitantly withdrew and he looked up at you.

Reaching down you cupped his face with your hands, drawing him up to kiss you. You could taste yourself on him. Another tentacle came up to graze against your sex, the one inside you still slowly moving. 

His voice was heavy, thick with need as he spoke, "I'd like to try something you'd mentioned before..."

You looked up at him, curious.

"Ah..." He seemed to have to work up the courage to say it, "May I come inside you?"

For a moment you were baffled. What did that mean? Had he not been coming up til this point-

Ohhh

OH, he meant...

You pulled him back in for a kiss before responding.

" _ Please _ ."

Your request made him shudder. His hands suddenly seemed to be everywhere. Tender, warm, gentle. Trailing along your collarbone, stroking your neck, grasping your hips…

You were still sensitive, he was trying to mindful of that, you could tell but he was also on edge himself. Holding him close, you kissed along his neck and shoulder as the tentacle inside you continued its deep strokes. He was breathless, one hand came up to cradle your head against him, a tendril wrapped gently around your wrist, pressing to your pulse point.

You pressed a kiss to his skin, whispering softly, “Let me love you...”

He cried out, colors flickering across his skin, the tentacle inside you writhing and pulsing in an unfamiliar wa-

Oh...

It was warm. Warm and dripping out of you with each thrust.

Oh fuck...

He shuddered, his voice wavering, breaking, " _ R-Reader _ ..."

"That's it, Cuddle Fish..." You gasped, running your hands along his back.

He hit a particularly sensitive spot and you whined.

He was breathless, lips along your neck, "I want to know every part of you..."

He picked up the pace again, holding you close. You shuddered, clinging to him as he pushed you back towards that brink again. This time as you cried out, his mouth found yours, muffling your sounds as you came.

When he finally parted from you the thrusts had slowed, colors still shifted across his skin and he stared at you with a mixture of awe and surprise on his face. You kissed him again, softer this time as he withdrew.

Reaching up, you stroked his cheek, touching his forehead to yours with a gasping chuckle, “That was… that was  _ perfect. _ ”

He’d gone magenta again as he practically collapsed next to you. You laughed slightly, nuzzling up to him, “You are  _ not _ going to tell me I wiped you out with that.”

He was panting, seemingly too breathless to protest. 

“Hey...” you reached out, running your hand across his cheek, “Are you okay?”

When he leaned into your touch you could feel him trembling.

"I… I forgot how good that feels..."

"What? Coming?" you laughed a little, “With how often we’ve been at it I’m shocked.”

"More specifically with the added release..." He was clearly embarrassed, but too satisfied to really freak out at your teasing.

That…

Curling up next to him, you ran a hand over his chest gently, "I love it.”

He rolled to face you, pulling you closer and kissing you long and slow. When you parted, it was with a content sigh, your face buried back into his shoulder.

"I love you." His voice was soft, lips grazing your forehead.

You pressed a hand to his heart, feeling the pulse of it beneath your fingertips, "I love you too."

After a moment you kissed his cheek, "Thank you…"

He looked down at you in surprise, "Hm?"

"For showing me. You didn't have to."

He went a deeper pink, "I'm simply glad you ah… enjoyed-"

You leaned in, kissing him again, "I think we've established that I enjoy everything about you."

He made a flustered sound but it was quickly replaced by a devilish grin and green stripes, "Except fighting me at drills?~"

You groaned, "Don't remiiiind me."

"Nurufufufu~" he kissed your forehead again softly, "You do much better than you realize."

"Suuuuure." You sighed against his chest.

Reaching up, you cupped his cheek, running your thumb along the skin. He leaned into the touch with a happy hum.

You could stay like this all night…

But…

You were becoming increasingly aware of the amount of  _ fluids _ seeping out of you.

“I… think I need a shower.”

“We did make quite the mess.” his tone was apologetic, “You go take care of that. I’ll tidy up.”

“Mmmmm hey...”

He looked over at you, curious. You pulled him in for another kiss, parting with a soft, “I love you...”

Soft pink. His voice dipped, “I love you too...”

One warm shower later and you collapsed next to him in the cleaned pillow fort. Tentacles reached out, cradling you close. You clung to him, your head against his heart, eyes slipping closed. Reaching up, you stroked his face gently with one hand. He leaned into the touch and you felt a hand pass over your hair.

In the hushed dark of the room, you fell asleep to the feel of the rise and fall of his chest, the sound of his heartbeat, and tendril stroking tenderly at your skin.

God…

You would miss this...


	100. A Pick Me Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korosensei's POV is [over here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/54565624).

You woke up to pressure.

Wha-

Tentacles were looped around you, tight, you looked back at him. He was fast asleep, his expression pained.

“Mn… Ey… Hey...” you squirmed in his grasp and saw as his eyes opened, his tentacles loosening in response.

You laughed softly, "I get I'm like teddy bear-sized compared to you, but you were crushing me, Cuddle Fish."

An expression flickered across his face, something broken, pained.

It made your heart ache.

You barely had time to register it before you were gathered close to him again, his face nuzzled into your shoulder.

“Hey...” you brought a hand up, stroking his head, “You okay?”

The tentacles clenched tighter as though you were the only thing anchoring him to the ground. You pressed a kiss to his cheek gently. This was worrying you now.

There was a soft sound and you felt a spreading damp on your shoulder.

"Shhhh…” you nuzzled him, "I’m here… It's okay, I'm here."

You held him, kissing occasionally along his cheek.

“A dream?”

He nodded into your shoulder, his voice thick and muffled, “I’m sorry, this is ridiculous...”

Pressing kisses along his cheek you chuckled, “You might be unkillable but you’re not impervious to nightmares...”

He shook his head, “It wasn’t a nightmare...”

“What was it?” you kept running your hand over the back of his head, letting him even out his breathing.

There was a long silence.

“It was about Aguri...”

“Oh… oh, honey...” you gathered him close, kissing along his cheek.

“I know that she’s gone but...” he began to sit up, a tentacle reaching out to acquire tissues, “I’m sorry this isn’t… this isn’t what tonight should be about...”

Wh-

What?

You sat up, reaching out to him, “Hey what does that mean?”

Blue had entered his expression, “If this is, in fact, our last night together… spending it crying over someone else-”

You put a hand over his mouth, “No. I already told you, I want all of it. I want to know all of you...”

" _ Is  _ this a suitable last night together?" He asked, nearly challenging.

"I…" you faltered, it could be your last night… but even if it wasn't… eventually, there would come a last night with him…

When you gathered your words, you spoke honestly, "No."

A knowing look registered on his face but you cut him off before he could speak, "I don't think any 'last night' with you could leave me satisfied… I don't want to lose you…"

"Oh, Reader…"

You felt tears well up a bit and wiped them away, "I know it's going to happen. I just…"

"Hope it's not soon."

You nodded, "And before you say anything!"

He seemed surprised by your outburst.

"I don't regret this. I could never regret this or you or this year."

There was a shift to his expression, subtle but clear. He pulled you close and you felt tears against your shoulder.

"If… if it does come out tomorrow…" you were stroking his back gently, "If anything happens… I want you to know I love you. I love you so much…”

He held you tightly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to start up the waterworks again…” you kissed along his cheek.

He had a tissue up, wiping at his face.

"Come on you’re gonna make  _ me  _ cry." You joked, nuzzling him.

Tentacles held you close, his breathing slowing.

“I know what you need.” you kissed him again, “I know what we both need.”

He looked up at you in surprise as you made your way to the kitchen, locating your hot chocolate mix. You knew you had a few spares. You never ended up making it through the packs properly in the winter…

On your way back to the living room you paused, reaching up into the cabinet to fish out a box of Kukkia cookies. You came around the side of the fort, finding him sitting, awkward, his face pale pink.

“A pick me up?” you offered him a mug which he accepted carefully.

Sitting next to him, you opened the box and offered him one.

He stared at you for a moment, accepting one with a chuckle. You took one as well, looking over at him, curious, “What?”

“And you think that you don’t take care of me...”

The heat of your blush rivaled the cocoa as you took a sip.

A tentacle looped around your waist, “Thank you…”

Leaning against him, you opened the cookie you’d gotten out, taking a bite. The cookie itself was a thin sweet wafer. More of an excuse, a way to convey the matcha chocolate inside to your mouth honestly.

“You’re welcome...” then you laughed a bit, “We really do just trade-off on this crying thing huh?”

He laughed softly, “It does seem that way.”

“Guess that’s what you do when you don’t have therapy.” you looked over at him with a smirk and waved your cookie, “That and these.”

He chuckled.

It was a good sound to hear right now.

The two of you sat in amicable silence, sipping your hot cocoa and occasionally munching a cookie.

“Did you want to talk about it?” you glanced over at him.

“Hm?”

“Your dream.”

He paused for a moment then took a breath, “I was holding her but I knew...” a tinge of blue entered his face and he glanced down at you, “I knew I’d have to let go.”

“...you know… if you’re with me, you don’t have to let her go.” you reached out, putting a hand on his arm, “I… I noticed you kinda only have one photo of her up at your place and I mean it’s in a room by itself. I don’t want you to think you have to hide her away...”

“That’s not it. I,” he took a breath, “It’s been too painful… my last memory of her, it’s...”

“Her dying…?”

He nodded slowly.

“I think that might be a good reason to put up photos of her.” you said softly, taking a sip of your hot cocoa.

“Hm?”

“Well… you remember her as she was at the end but… I mean she posted a lot of photos online, especially during the last year. And she’s happy in so many of them. Maybe it would be better to have reminders of her during those times? Something to help you remember the better parts?”

He considered this for a moment, “You wouldn’t mind that?”

You laughed, “I’ve told you… I’ve visited her, I’ve read up on her online… I can see why you loved her. You didn’t lose her that long ago. I know you’re still grieving.”

You gave his arm a light squeeze and a hand came up to cover yours.

“Thank you...”

For a long moment, you simply looked at one another.

“Let’s hope she’s looking out for us tomorrow, huh?”

He chuckled a bit, “Yes...”

When the drinks were finished and the cookies polished off the pair of you curled back up under the blankets. You shared a kiss and tasted the chocolate on his lips. 

A calm settled between you both. Tomorrow would be interesting but together… together you would handle it.


	101. Battle Scars

Your alarm went off and you reached out, trying to locate it to shut it off. Your arm hit something soft and a heavy blanket flopped down onto you.

You’d knocked over something holding up the pillow fort.

Great.

“Nurufufufu~”

You groaned and lifted the blankets, seeing him smirking at you from the other side, already dressed.

“Good morning to you too.” you groused, sitting up with the blanket around your shoulders.

He held up your phone, shutting off the alarm and passing it to you.

Your background was now you grumpily looking out from the blankets.

“Good morning.” he leaned down, kissing you gently, “We need to get ready for school.”

“I knoooow.” you dragged yourself out of the tangle of blankets and, before you could react, your living room had been set right with a rush of air.

You gave him a look and he simply grinned back at you.

“I’m supposed to be taking care of you, remember?”

All traces of last night’s moroseness had disintegrated from him, he leaned in with a smirk, “As I recall the deal was so long as I can do the same.”

You sighed and stood.

“I’ve already taken the liberty of preparing lunch for you.” he grinned and suddenly a coffee was pressed into your hands, “Breakfast is at the table.”

You gave him a look, sipped your coffee, and took your seat at the table.

Even with your grumbling…

You hoped you could get a few more moments like this…

He dropped you off in the woods this time, not far from the trail. The two of you reluctantly parted from each other.

“Reader...”

You looked up at him.

“No matter how today goes… please don’t be upset with the children.”

You stared at him in surprise, “They’re just doing what they’re supposed to, the same as me.”

“I think we both know there’s a difference.”

You nodded and paused when he offered a finger to you. With a soft, rueful chuckle, you hooked your pinky around it, “I won’t take it out on them. I promise.”

As his hand drew away, it came to gently rest on your head for a moment and then there was a rush of wind and leaves and he was gone.

You sighed.

There was a mountain ahead to climb.

Both literally and figuratively.

You weren’t looking forward to it.

You made your way to the faculty lounge and put down your things. Karasuma barely looked up from his work. Irina, meanwhile, was filing her nails. “‘Ey.” she gave a wave.

“Hey, morning everyone.”

The octopus was busying himself with paper work.

“Reader! Good morning!” he grinned over at you as if he hadn’t woken up in your house this morning, “I hope you’re ready for more drills.~”

You rolled your eyes, collapsing in your chair, “Yeah, sure. My ass is always ready to get kicked.”

Karasuma glanced up at you over the top of his laptop, “We’ll be having a meeting first. There’s been some changes to the P.E. curriculum that need to be discussed with the children.”

“Yeah?” you looked across at him in surprise.

So far it certainly seemed like no one knew about things…

He gave a nod and glanced at the octopus.

Korosensei merely chuckled, green stripes crossing his face, “Oh do feel free to discuss! It’s not like your plans will get you very far anyway.”

There was a slight twitch to the man’s brow and he turned his attention back to his laptop, “We’ll discuss it at drills.”

Ohhhh kay then…

Well, that went approximately nowhere.

“So… uh… when exactly are you going to call off Terasaka and Okano? I’ve been able to hit them…”

Karasuma gave you The Look.

Hoo boy…

“When they’re not able to hit you anymore.”

O h…

“Okay, so I’m going to be dealing with this for the rest of the year. Got it.” you turned your attention to your own laptop, checking over the plans you’d made for the term’s lessons over the summer.

“I’m just glad I’m not in your shoes.” Irina smirked.

Karasuma gave her a look, “You could also do with some training, I’d be happy to make arrangements.”

She gave him a look, “No thanks. I deal with the brats enough as is.”

She examined her nails with a roll of her eyes.

Everything was so… normal…

God, you hoped it stayed that way...

You were in your gym wear standing behind the students while Karasuma approached. What was he planning on covering with this?

Tucked under one arm he had a stack of books which he held up to the students as he spoke, “Beginning this second semester, we will include new elements to our assassination strategies. One of which will be explosives.”

There were murmurs of shock among the students.

Explosives?

EXPLOSIVES?

He HAD to be fucking kidding right?

The kids were smart, they were well coordinated but giving them access to explosives seemed…

Well…

Stupid.

Who the fuck gives middle schoolers EXPLOSIVES?

“The destructive power they encompass is sure to be an addition to your assassinations. However, you may not use them in a dangerous manner, as Terasaka did- obviously.”

There was an irritated sound from the boy in question. 

“Therefore, I want one of you to learn the safe handling procedures of explosives. To master it. For permission to use explosives, you must receive authorization from me and the supervision of said student. So… who’s up for the responsibility?”

You moved to protest but, before you could, a familiar slim figure stepped up to accept the stack, “It’s not going to help me with my studies but even this might come in handy sometime.”

“You sure you can memorize it, Takebayashi?” Karasuma asked, looking at the newly returned student.

“Sure. I’ll just have to incorporate it into a parody song of the second season opening of ‘Regarding The Incident Of How There's No Doubt That My Little Sister Became A Hiroshima Fan Due To Her Boyfriend's Influence’.”

What on earth-

“Also… I have an announcement to make, if I may.” the boy continued, tucking the books under his arm.

Karasuma looked over at him in surprise at first but gestured for him to continue.

Oh god.

Oh no…

Your stomach was a knot.

As if the explosive concerns weren’t enough Takebayashi was going to do this  _ here? _

_ Now? _

You noticed the octopus was leaning on the faculty lounge window sill, watching with interest.

“There’s a relationship in this classroom that I’m worried might cause a problem with the assassination but I don't feel right in keeping it from you."

There were some murmurs of surprise among the students and you noticed both Karma and Nakamura immediately casting glances your way.

Karasuma raised an eyebrow. 

You looked directly at Takebayashi being careful to keep your face neutral.

The boy caught your eye.

He shifted, his face going pink.

Here it comes.

This how it ends-

“RitsuandIaredating.” Takebayashi was bright red as he said it, looking like he might just implode.

W-what?

Oh…

**OH**

_ Oh god. _

You could throw up from the sheer relief.

There was a veritable _ uproar  _ from the class.

“YOU’RE DATING  _ THE BOX? _ ”

“WHAT?”

“I KNEW YOU LIKED 2D GIRLS BUT  _ SERIOUSLY? _ ”

Karasuma stepped in, “Okay, that’s enough.” he looked over at Takebayashi, “Why would this interfere with the assassination?”

Takebayashi, so confident a moment ago, seemed to curl inward on himself, “W-Well, I'm worried that it might be a distraction for Ritsu or that, perhaps, I could end up influencing her decisions.”

“...You’re still planning to assassinate the target, right?” you had never seen Karasuma look more done. Not in the entire course of last semester. Not over the summer.

This man was rapidly approaching his limit.

“Of course.” the boy nodded.

"And Ritsu?"

"Of course, sir!" She chirped from the phone in Takebayashi's shirt pocket.

“Talk to Mx. Reader about the situation then. I don’t see a problem with it.”

The class broke into a practical riot, the kids demanding answers from Takebayashi.

Whoa nelly… that…

Well…

That was certainly  _ not _ what you’d expected…

The boys especially were grouped around Takebayashi asking him questions. It was Karasuma who broke it up with a quick bark of, “Pair off for practice!”

You shook your head, relief still racing through you, you felt like you might fall over from it. There was a rush of wind you felt your idiot leaning over your shoulder with a grin, “You might want to pay a bit more attention, Mx. Reader.~”

You didn’t even have time to draw the wooden blade you’d been given before Okano’s kick struck you in the gut. You stumbled back and were caught by the octopus who merely grinned down at you, “It  _ seems _ you’ve left your guard down.”

You took a swing with the blade only to find yourself standing a good ten feet from where you had been, you lifted the blade and saw it was now decorated with tiny crane carvings. You rolled your eyes before noticing a muddled reflection in the dull metal guard of the blade. You ducked, throwing your shoulder heavily into Terasaka’s stomach sending the boy flipping over your back.

“Well done!” the octopus chuckled, appearing in front of you. You swung wildly at him and he laughed, zipping behind you, delicately putting mascara on you.

“Oh my go-” you swung again, making a face as you were now sporting octopus themed nails.

Despite your frustration, you laughed. FUCKING HELL.

ALL OF LAST NIGHT.

ALL OF YESTERDAY.

You lost it, laughing as you took another swing at him.

You’d been so fucking worried for fucking  _ nothing _ .

There was the sound of footsteps coming your way, you turned in time to get tackled by Terasaka. You landed hard in the dirt but couldn’t help it. You were practically hysterical, laughing. The boy stared down at you, unnerved, “What’s your problem?”

You wheezed, struggling to sit up.

How the fuck did you even begin to cover this up-

“I do think Mx. Reader is beginning to accept my fashion suggestions.~”

You looked up to see the octopus leaning over you, then looked down to see that your track suit now sported a stupid little octopus embroidered on it.

That just made you  _ more _ hysterical.

“Hey, Okano I think you hit ‘em too hard!” Terasaka called over.

You looked up at him.

He was wide open.

You grabbed the boy around his midsection, rolling to pin him to the ground. You were laughing so hard you were almost crying as you staggered up, trying to breathe.

“What the hell, Doc??”

“Mx. Reader, are you okay?” Okano approached casually, concern on her features.

You steadied your breath and grinned at her, “I’m  _ just _ fine.”

“You sure abou-” the girl cut off and you took a swing at her.

“Hey!” Terasaka brightened up, “‘Bout damn time!”

Adrenaline and endorphins had you wired. It was a rush and, for once, worry was the last thing on your mind. You just threw yourself into the fight, your strikes being more offensive than defensive. As you tussled with the kids you could hear a familiar laugh echo around you as your idiot zipped in periodically to intervene, giving you chances to hit him…

Not that you could.

But fuck if you didn’t try.

And fuck if it wasn’t the most fun you’d had during drills  _ ever _ .

On a break you sat on the steps, taking a drink from your bottled water and grimacing at the lipstick marks you left on it.

“Could you knock it off with the makeup? This shit is awful.” you scrubbed at your face with a towel while the octopus laughed at you, dodging a stab from Hinano.

“Now, now, Mx. Reader, that would be preferential treatment. You know I don’t go easy on would-be assassins.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

“Mx. Reader?” you looked up to see Megu had joined you.

“Hey, how goes?”

She offered you a small wipe, “You look like you could use these...”

“Is this uh…?”

“Makeup wipes.”

“Oh thank god.”

Accepting it, you ran it over your face. She passed you a few more watching as you scrubbed at the remaining scraps of foundation and such.

“Is that better?” you looked over at her.

She held up a small mirror for you, “Looks good to me.”

“Thank you.” you sighed, sitting back and enjoying your face not feeling like an impasto painting.

“Um… could I ask you about something?”

You looked over at her, “Of course.”

“...If… ” she took a breath, calming herself, and leaned over, speaking quietly, “If girls like you… does it mean you’re too masculine?”

Wh-

Okano and now Megu? What was this? An epidemic?

“Of course not-”

Wait…

If  _ girls _ like you…

You glanced over at Yada and back to Megu.

The girl’s face went a touch pink, clearly trying not to look at Yada.

Well then…

“Of  _ course _ not.” you started over, “It just means you’re cool.” you chuckled, “Is that a regular issue for you?”

“Ah well… it’s not been an issue but I have gotten love letters before...” she shifted a bit, clearly having more to say.

“Well, I mean… if girls are sending you love letters I think that would be more because they like girls than you seeming like a boy.” you gave her a small shrug, “Does it bother you?”

“No… I mean… it didn’t but-”

Ohhhh boy…

“But?”

“Well, I got one recently and the person is someone I know better than the others...”

“So, like, a friend of yours?” you offered.

She nodded, “I… I’m not sure how I feel.”

“Why’s that?”

“Usually I don’t care.” she said quietly, “But I don’t know this like… It...”

You could see her hands curl into nervous fists against the stairs beside her.

“Does it make you feel bad?”

“No… It’s… I’m not sure. More… nervous? Maybe excited?” she spoke really softly now and you had to lean in to hear her.

You chuckled, “Well, that’s not terrible is it?”

“I mean… I just...” she took a deep breath, letting it out, “I don’t know what that means.”

“It means you got a love letter and you’re nervous and excited about it.” you shrugged, taking a drink of your water bottle, “What would you think that means if the person giving it to you was a boy?”

She went a bright pink and turned her attention to the grass at the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m not saying that you like this person, but maybe you do on some level. Or maybe you’re nervous that you’ll lose a friend.” you gestured.

“I’m not sure what to do about it…”

“Have you talked to her about it yet?”

“What would I even say?!” you bit back a laugh. That was the most panicked you had ever heard this girl be.

“That you got her letter and that you’re not sure what you feel yet?”

“That’s not really an answer though.”

“There’s not always an answer.” you said patting her shoulder gently, “But maybe if you sit down and talk to this girl you can sort out your feelings on it.”

There was a pause where she considered what you said. You noticed her eyes flick to Yada and back, “Alright… I think I know what to do. Thank you, Mx. Reader.” she rose then faltered, “Oh! Wait!”

“Hm?” you looked up at her.

She sat back down and pulled out her phone, “Ritsu?”

Ritsu appeared on the screen immediately, a pale pink was tinging the background and her cheeks you noticed, “Hello, Kataoka! Oh! Mx. Reader! Hello!”

You gave a wave.

“We used the camera Korosensei made for Ritsu the other day.”

“Oh yes!” Ritsu positively lit up, “Kataoka took me swimming!”

“Yeah? That’s great!”

Megu smiled, “We’ve been passing the camera around the class so Ritsu can see different things.”

“Yoshida took me for a bike ride!”

“That’s amazing.” you grinned, “Are you learning a lot from it?”

Ritsu nodded, “Absolutely! I’ve been calculating speeds and trajectories much more efficiently! I think it will improve our firing rate as a class!”

Oof…

Great.

_ Fantastic. _

“That’s good!” you smiled. You couldn’t give the impression of not being supportive, after all.

“Yeah, it’s been kind of a fun class project.” Megu said, still holding up her phone so Ritsu could see you, “You should check out the class chat more.”

“I will.” you said apologetically.

“I could set up a reminder for you if you like, Mx. Reader!” Ritsu piped up.

“Sure… let’s do that.”

You really needed to check in on them more there was just…

There was  _ a lot _ going on.

“Okay, I need to get back to drills.” Megu gave a small wave, “Thank, Mx. Reader.”

“Anytime.”

Your phone chimed and when you pulled it out, Ritsu had popped up on screen.

“Hey uh… I heard Takebayashi’s announcement...”

She nodded, smiling.

Hoo boy…

How did you even  _ remotely begin _ to approach this?

“You definitely seem happy about it.”

“I’m very excited to learn more about human courtship rituals!” she said it with all the bubbly expression of a teenage girl talking about her crush.

Which made it sound all the more ridiculous.

“I’m glad. When did this happen?”

“It was the day of the festival!” she was grinning up at you from the screen, “We talked for a long time that night and he asked me then.”

“So… how is it going?”

“It’s fun! We even went on a date!”

Oh…

My god?

“A date?” you rested your chin on your hand, listening, “Where to?”

“We went to the movies!”

Cute…

“Nice.”

She looked at you for a long moment, “Mx. Reader, Takebayashi said you might not be very happy about this situation. I wanted to know why that might be.”

Whelp.

You took a breath, “Your relationship with Takebayashi is very… different. It’s… well… to be honest, it’s unprecedented.”

“And that worries you?”

“I worry about the power dynamic between the two of you.”

“I assure you, I won’t injure him.”

“That-” you pinched the bridge of your nose for a moment, “That… wasn’t what I meant. I mean you haven’t been around for very long and you are still learning about human culture. Takebayashi has years of living in the world around him as experience.”

She stared at you in surprise for a moment, “Mx. Reader… I am an advanced learning AI. Professor Jelavić says that the best way to learn a language or a culture is to immerse oneself in it. More specifically…”

A video appeared on screen, and she gestured to it. It was a recording from one of Irina’s classes.

_ “Taking a lover from another country exposes you to far more than friendship. You will strive harder to understand and grasp the meaning of what they say because of your feelings for them.” _

Well, that was… uh…

Hm.

You couldn’t entirely deny the logic but…

“So, you see Takebayashi as a learning experience?”

“Yes. But also as a friend and someone that I care about.”

You remembered her reaction to Takebayashi leaving E Class. The way she’d fretted about potentially losing contact with him.

You… really couldn’t say much about their relationship being unconventional…

This was definitely not part of your job description.

“Well, if you need any help understanding things you can come and talk to me, alright?”

She nodded, smiling, “Thank you, Mx. Reader.”

“Oi! Break time’s over!” Terasaka called over.

“I’ll let you go back to drills! Thank you for talking with me!”

You gave her a nod, “Anytime, Ritsu.”

Tucking your phone away, you pushed yourself up off the stairs.

What a trip of a day this was…

You spent some time after drills cleaning yourself up in the bathrooms. Megu had given you more wipes and you were grateful. Why you hadn’t thought of packing something like this sooner was beyond you.

When you felt reasonably back to normal, despite some soreness from the fight, you made your way to the nurse’s office. Cranes were stuffed into the box on your side table, some sat perched on top of it and around.

That…

That was a lot of cranes…

Scooping them up, you made your way to your desk and set to work counting them out and trying to identify who might have donated them.

More precision folded ones with geometric designs… these almost looked on par with the octopus’ work but he almost exclusively had self-references on his… Ritsu maybe?

Mushrooms, trees, squirrels… Hinano.

More in distinct Hatsune Miku blue, some cute designs that you vaguely recognized from an anime that was running… definitely Takebayashi.

Tire tracks, bikes… Yoshida.

There were several with marbled patterns of color on them that you couldn’t place along with a few gold and silvers.

A handful of black ones…

You had a feeling those were from Hazama.

And these messy looking ones made from simple colored papers… absolutely Terasaka.

The birds were laid out across your desk in a rainbow of colors and designs, bright and beautiful in the afternoon light.

They had to be bringing them in during drills.

You shook your head and began your tally.

Fifty…

Fifty more cranes…

You sat back, staring at the scattered birds and found yourself wondering, yet again, what the children were wishing for…

Reaching into the side drawer of your desk, you drew out a few origami papers for yourself.

It had been a bit since you contributed to the collection, after all.

With each fold, you sent up a little wish.

_ Let this stay quiet longer… _

_ Let things be okay… _

_ Let this year not be our last… _

_ Let this year not be  _ **_his_ ** _ last... _

“Uh… Mx. Reader?”

You looked up to see Nagisa standing in the doorway. The boy looked embarrassed and for the first time, you noticed his hair was down.

“Yes, Nagisa?”

“Do you have any hair ties? The girls don’t have any spares right now and my spare snapped...”

“Korosensei doesn’t have any?”

“I’d… really rather not have my hair down in front of everyone while I ask...”

Given the boy’s history with his mother, you could understand why he was so on edge.

“Well, I don’t have hair ties but...” you got up, going over to your supply cabinet, “I do have a solution. Go ahead and take a seat.”

You fished out a pair of gloves and scissors. When you turned you saw he was seated awkwardly. When he saw the scissors in your hands his eyes went wide with panic, “I can’t! My mom would kill me!”

You paused then realized where he was staring.

“Relax.” you shook your head, “We’re not cutting your hair.”

You took the gloves, holding them up and cutting off the actual glove portion, leaving the bands from the bottom. You tossed the excess in the trash, placed the scissors on the table, and went over to him, carefully using the bands of nitrile to tie up his hair.

“Sorry if it pulls any, they’re not as comfortable as the cloth-covered ones but they do in a pinch.”

He reached up, feeling the pigtails you’d added, “Where did you learn to do that?”

You chuckled, “A nurse I used to work with. She was always losing her hair ties.”

“Thanks...”

You paused, looking down at the boy for a moment, “Hey… how are things going at home?”

“It’s not too bad right now… she’s been kind of distracted by work so...” he gave a small shrug, “Spent some time out with my dad over the summer. She was okay about it.”

“That’s good.” you gave a nod, “My door is always open if you need to talk.”

“Yeah, I know Mx. Reader. Thanks.” he got to his feet, adjusting his hair again, “Um… would it be okay if I got some spares?”

“Sure thing.” you quickly set him up with two more bands which he tucked away in his pocket.

“Thanks again.” he gave a wave as he headed out the door.

“No problem.” you watched him leave, considering things.

The boy’s home life was rough… and given what was happening this year you had a feeling you would need to have another sit down with him when the semester started.

You turned your attention back to your cranes, finishing up the last one.

Ten more.

Sixty.

You pulled out another post-it note.

_ Total: 237 _

_ Left: 763 _

You set to work stringing up the new cranes.

Another strand.

That made five now.

Twenty left to go…

As you tied off the strand you heard another small knock at the door. Looking up, you saw Kanzaki standing in the doorway.

“Kanzaki, hello.” you gave her a smile, “Everything okay?”

“I wanted to talk, if that’s alright.”

“Always” you gestured to the seat across from you, getting up to attach the new strand by the door.

She shut the door, taking a seat.

When you were sure the string was secure, you sank back into your chair, looking across at her, “So, what is it you wanted to talk about?”

“...Okano and Megu said you’ve talked to them about well… being a girl?”

You raised an eyebrow in surprise, “Well, yes, they had asked about it. Why?”

“I… don’t think I’m a proper girl either.”

Oof, this really did seem to be spreading.

“Why do you think that?”

She looked down. She was smiling, but her eyes were sad and distant, “My father says I should behave more like a lady. It’s… gotten worse since being in E Class.”

No wonder she stuck up for Takebayashi…

You leaned forward, “What do you want?”

She looked up at you in surprise, “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. What do you want Kanzaki? Do you want to be a perfect lady?”

She went quiet, considering that for a moment, “I… I don’t know.”

“Have you ever thought about it before?”

She nodded it, “I… when we were in Kyoto… well...” she seemed unsure of how to word things.

You sat back, giving her time.

“Those boys targeted me for a reason.”

You looked at her in surprise, “What do you mean?”

“Before I came to E Class um… I was really stressed out with school and my dad and brother. They really want me to be a lady, like mom. To get away from it I’d go places people didn’t know me and just… dress and act how I wanted. It was usually arcades. Those boys had gotten a photo of me from then and they recognized me… so it was kind of my fault to begin with.”

“Kanzaki...” you shook your head, “That doesn’t mean it was your fault.”

She looked up at you, quiet.

“You were just trying to blow off some steam. That’s perfectly reasonable. What isn’t is people demanding things you don’t want of you or, you know, _ kidnapping you? _ ” you gestured, “You deserve to feel safe. It’s not your fault for being you.”

She faltered for a moment, “I just… it feels like it wouldn’t have happened if I’d listened to dad and behaved like a lady...”

“People like that don’t discriminate, Kanzaki.” you sat back, “They took Kayano too, would you say it was for the same reason?”

She paused for a moment and shook her head, “No...”

“Behaving like a lady is subjective anyway.” you gave her a smile, “Everyone has different definitions of it. So, how does your dad expect you to act?”

“Quiet? Um...” she shifted, “Polite, kind, um...”

“How are you anything outside of that?”

She went a bit pink, “Well, things like video games and strategy aren’t really… girly?”

You stared at her for a moment, “Who says?”

“My family.”

“I think… if there’s one thing that this class has taught you all. It’s that family isn’t always right about us. Obviously, you have to work within parameters they set to a degree, but they don’t choose who you are.”

“It feels that way sometimes… E Class is one of the few places that doesn’t make me feel strange for what I enjoy.”

“Because you all respect one another on some level.” you gestured, “You don’t make an expectation of one another. You respect your skills no matter how niche they may be.”

“I mean… it’s not like my skills really help with the goal either...”

“Are you kidding me?” you stared at her in surprise, “You have amazing hand eye coordination! Karasuma has had me training mine because it’s not great. You’re fantastic at it and a good portion of that comes from the games you play.”

She faltered for a moment, considering this.

“Do you only play arcade games?”

She shook her head slightly, “No, I play some online games too like MMOs?”

“Then, I get the feeling...” you leaned across the desk, looking at her, “you probably have a good head for planning too.”

She shook her head, “No, I’m not-”

“Do you plan boss fights with groups?”

She paused, “Ah… well yeah, I kinda have to with the guilds...”

“And that means things like… coordinating people, planning out an approach, and following through with an attack. Right?”

She nodded slowly.

“Sounds like some other lessons you’re being taught, huh?”

“...yeah...” the word carried a note of realization, something turned over and discovered.

“So, maybe you’re not the perfect lady by your family’s standards. But you are skilled, smart, and I’m sure if you asked anyone in this class? They’d tell you you’re absolutely a lady.”

A smile broke out slowly across her face. This time, it reached her eyes.

When Kanzaki had left, you turned your attention to packing up. Drills were over, lessons had been planned, and the cranes counted and hung up. It was time to go home, relax, and recover from the day’s roller coaster. You had just shouldered your bag when you heard a voice from the doorway.

“Mx. Reader…”

It was Takebayashi standing awkwardly there.

The poor kid looked a bit pale.

You couldn’t blame him, his classmates had given him the third degree throughout drills.

“Hey. Come in, Takebayashi. Need to talk?”

“Yes. I think that would be a good idea.” he took a seat, brisk, business-like.

“I take it you’re here because of Mr. Karasuma’s suggestion?” you asked, sitting back down.

“In part, yes.” his face went pink, “Um… about Ritsu...”

“Yes?”

“I know that it’s… unusual.” he looked up at you, “But I figure you might have some  _ experience _ with that.”

What…

“Oh? Why’s that?” you kept your voice casual, light.

The boy looked up at you, green eyes flashing behind his glasses. What he said next was in the same cool tone as his first address to the school.

“I saw what happened the night of the festival.”

Wh-

There was _ no way _ you heard that right.

“Hm?”

He pushed his glasses up, “I saw the kiss.”

_ Panic. _

Sheer, visceral panic.

“I had intended to share my findings with the classroom this morning but… ” the boy took a breath, “Everyone’s told me that you wouldn’t tell them what was going on even after I’d left.” he met your eyes, “I appreciate that.”

You were staring at the boy, too stunned to try to lie your way out of it.

“I don’t know what sort of relationship you have outside of work with Korosensei, but the way I see it, it’s none of my business.” the boy pushed up his glasses again, “You haven’t interfered with our assassination attempts so I see no reason why you would be a threat to the mission.”

Was this a trick? Was the boy trying to get you to confess?

“I’m glad to hear that you don’t consider it your business. For the record though, nothing is going on.”

He smirked, “I’ve seen enough hentai to know better than that, Mx. Reader.”

He said it so bluntly that you laughed.

You couldn't help it.

Fuck, you had been so worried and here this kid just-

"You don't have to confirm it. I understand." 

“Nothing is happening,  _ really. _ ” you laughed, “I mean, honestly...”

“Of  _ course _ not.” his tone told you he knew you were full of shit. He paused "I know that we are in opposition to one another. But… is it still okay if I ask to speak with you sometimes?"

You faltered, "Of course it is!" You smiled, "If I didn't help you guys based on that I wouldn't have a job."

“Thank you, Mx. Reader...” he took a breath, looking relieved, “Because this is… I’m a little-” his tone took on a note of panic, “I don’t know how to date somebody.”

After your day. After yesterday. After everything?

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Okay, okay...” you ran a hand over your face, “Well… it’s an unusual situation but… I’ll try to help as best I can?”

He nodded, “Thank you...”

You spent the next half hour talking with the boy about how to go about dating, discussing how the relationship differed from others, and such.

By the time he left, you were exhausted.

God. What a day.

What a fucking DAY.


	102. Golden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys! I hope you all are staying safe with all the crazy stuff going on out there right now.  
> Sorry for the long pause on this but we're back baby! With more feelings.  
> Also, there's an official cover for the fic now! You can see it in Chapter one!

_ Kintsugi… _

You were standing at the bottom of the mountain, waiting for a message back from the octopus. You’d sent him a text after Takebayashi had left letting him know what was going on.

Your thoughts were drifting to last night’s conversations.

_ The cracks are filled with something precious. _

This class… the way they supported one another, the homes they gave to each other...

_ Broken people from broken homes trying to live broken lives. _

These kids fit more into this classroom than they even knew.

_ I like to think that you and our classroom, keep me whole. _

Your hand came up, brushing the pendant hanging against your chest.

_ There’s far more gold holding you together than you realize... _

You jumped as a rush of wind signaled the arrival of one bright yellow octopus.

“I’m so sorry, Reader. I just got your message.” Tentacles leaned in, curling towards you but he seemed to think better of it, given where you were.

“It’s okay… can we talk about it?”

He chuckled and nodded, “Meet me here.”

A note was pressed into your hands and you flipped it open to see a simple map and instructions drawn out for you. 

Well, this was new…

You made your way back up the mountain a bit, trekking through the woods to the location he’d pointed out on the map. This was ridiculous but, well, you supposed meeting at the same place was going to become an issue…

As you rounded a tree you found yourself swept up. For half a moment you thought you’d fallen into one of the kid’s booby traps until you heard a familiar warm chuckle. You looked up at him.

“You could give me some warning!”

“But that wouldn’t be as  _ fun! _ ” he flashed his phone at you, showing a snapshot of your panicked face as he’d grabbed you.

“Are you sure the kids won’t see us here?”

“I’ve located several spots on the mountain that they don’t currently frequent.”

You let out a sigh, leaning your head against his shoulder, “I’m sorry...”

“Nue?” he looked at you in surprise, “Whatever for?”

You wriggled and he let you go, easing you to the ground.

“The kiss. I got us into this mess.”

“Reader...” a hand came to rest on your shoulder, “We’ve had a fright, yes. But things have turned out fine.”

“But what if it’s not?” you looked up at him.

The feeling had begun eating at you after that initial wave of relief.

“Then we will prepare.” his voice was gentle, genuine, “It will be alright. I have a distinct feeling that the boy won’t reveal anything to the others.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he chuckled and scooped you up again, bundling you into his robes, “Today’s drills have him  _ well _ acquainted with how that would go.”

You thought about the kids hounding Takebayashi about the situation with Ritsu during drills.

“But that wouldn’t affect him...”

“It would if we weren’t present,” he held up a finger, green stripes crossing his face, “such as during a planning discussion.”

“Wouldn’t it still be a benefit?”

He took off and you looked up at him. The green faded back to his usual yellow.

“I posit you another interpretation.” he said, looking down at you, “If the children did know about you and I, do you think they would use you as bait?”

“Well… not the kids probably… but the government…”

“Ah but it’s one of the  _ children _ that knows about us.” he chuckled, “And, as we’ve seen, the children are certainly  _ motivated _ to get the bounty. As such, what benefit would there be in Takebayashi telling anyone? It would cause an uproar in the class, result in the government knowing, and potentially rob them of their kill. Takebayashi’s decision, whether he realizes it or not, protects our relationship but also protects their claim to the bounty.”

You thought about that for a long moment, “Still seems weird that he’s keeping it a secret.”

“The boy  _ trusts _ you, Reader.” he chuckled, “It may be surprising to you but the students do respect you even with your differing motivations.”

It was hard to grasp. You had a rapport with the children by now but…

The thought that one of them would keep _ this _ a secret was…

Hard.

Hard to accept.

“Nurufufufu~ I see the Detective Face is back.”

"It just… I feel so out of place that it seems strange that any of them would cover this..."

"You are a vital part of our classroom, Reader.” his voice was softer, almost worried, “One day I hope you'll come to understand that."

"I'm trying…" 

That tone. The one that resonated in you with its openness, filled his next words, "I know." 

You sighed closing your eyes for a moment, trying to relax. You were rocketing through the air at speeds unimaginable, wrapped in the arms of someone you loved, who you were assured at least a little more time with.

Today had been overwhelming.

But-

“Now!” his voice shook you out of your grounding thoughts with its perkiness, “I think we could both do with a little relaxation, wouldn’t you agree?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” you said, exhausted.

“Excellent, I have something perfect in mind.”

You glanced up at him, “Like what?”

He chuckled, “You’ll see.~”

With a sigh, you shook your head.

You’d see, you guessed.

You felt a measure of surprise and mild panic when you realized he was flying over the open ocean.

“Okay, hold on you didn’t say anything about leaving Japan!”

He chuckled, “Of course not! Then it wouldn’t be a surprise!”

“Where are we even  _ going? _ ” you looked up at him and out across the horizon. The Earth curved below you, the sun was sinking into the ocean, the clouds alight with color.

“A lovely little spot. I thought we could have dinner.”

“...okay… am I going to speak the  _ language _ there?”

“You  _ would _ but rest assured, we won’t be dealing with any of the locals.”

You thought about that for a long moment before noticing growing darkness on the horizon, “What is that?”

“That, Reader, would be the terminator.”

“...I’m sorry, the  _ what? _ ”

He laughed, “No need to worry, the terminator is merely the twilight zone between daylight and darkness on the Earth’s surface.”

“So wherever we’re going to is a few time zones ahead of us.”

“Correct!” his face flashed a red circle.

“We’ve been in the air for more than a few minutes too...”

“I see you’ve got your Detective Face on.”

“How long have we been flying?”

“About ten minutes.”

“What?!”

“It is a slightly longer trip, I apologize.”

You just stared up at him. Green stripes decorated his face.

Smug asshole.

The dark spread, an accelerated kind of twilight. Soon, stars came out to dot an inky night sky.

“Today was quite suspenseful,” he said softly.

You nodded, “Yeah, it… it was kind of a lot.”

“And Takebayashi and Ritsu!”

You snorted, “Yeah uh… so that’s a thing. And apparently he’s  _ serious _ , that wasn’t just a cover.”

“I had my suspicions given the boy’s tastes.” the lilting cadence of his voice settled you in it’s own way. A familiar touchstone in unfamiliar surroundings, “I only hope that their relationship works well for them.”

“Yeah… Like… I mean I can’t really be unsupportive. I’ve spent all year telling Ritsu about being human and encouraging her to interact with her classmates and talking about personhood so… it gets a little uh…  _ conflicting _ if I say ‘you can’t date a human because you aren’t human’. Especially given what Takebayashi knows about us.”

“True. It is something of a conundrum. If Ritsu weren’t exceptionally gifted or without her free will, I would be more concerned. Truth is, I’m a bit more worried for Takebayashi’s sake. It’s quite the leap to make, particularly if the relationship lasts into adulthood.”

“Yeah, I uh… I guess introducing her to the parents is out of the question...” you murmured, thinking that over.

What would a future with those two look like? Your mind summoned up the stereotypical otaku staples, guys with dakimakuras, digital waifus, and no social life. But truth be told you didn't believe that would be the boy's future. Takebayashi had already proven himself to be motivated. He might not be terribly social but with the introduction of Ritsu you'd seen him associating more with fellow classmates. Terasaka and Okuda most noticeably.

Your mind drifted slightly and you glanced up at the octopus.

How would…

No…

You didn’t need to worry about that.

Your family wouldn’t get the opportunity.

Which brought a rush of relief but also a pang of pain.

He was wonderful and…

_ God _ , you wished the world could see that.

"I do think that, given the right push, the two could certainly forge a bright future together." He adjusted course just a touch, his words bringing you back to the topic at hand, "And I must admit…" he flashed you a particularly enthusiastic grin, "It's delightful to see two of our students enjoying first love."

You laughed, "I still think your shipping chart is wrong."

He gasped, offended, "Reader! Don't you think I  _ know _ our students?"

"Mmm well… I think you're overlooking a few things."

"And what might those things be?' tendrils whipped out a notebook and pen, prepared to write.

"Can't say, students talk to me in confidence." You smirked up at him.

His expression soured, "But how am I supposed to properly teach them?!"

"Don't think you need their dating profiles to teach them math."

He gave a small huff and you laughed for a moment before remembering something, "Oh hey, there is something Takebayashi brought up that might interest you. It's about main campus."

"Hm?"

"Apparently, in the opening course studies, Takebayashi attended, the subjects covered were things you'd taught the kids in first term. The teaching method was also ineffective, it seemed more to weed out kids than teach."

"Nurufufufu~" he tucked the notebook away, positively gleeful, green stripes out in force, " _ Excellent. _ I had hoped to pick the boy's brain about A class's study methods. That certainly gives us an edge if we're already ahead in the curriculum. Of course, we'll be covering things  _ quite _ outside the scope as well. If the first semester taught me anything it's not to underestimate Mr. Asano and the lengths he will go to uphold his pedagogical approach."

You nodded.

That was a fancy way of saying the man was fucking bonkers but you’d take it.

You sighed, "It's… it's so strange juggling classes, school politics, and the assassination attempts. I don't know how you do it."

He smirked, eyes narrowing, "I find it all rather  _ exciting! _ Though, it is lovely having someone to come home to after."

You felt your face heat up and laughed a little, embarrassed.

"Ah!" He looked up, "Almost there."

Suddenly your eyes were covered.

You laughed, "It's  _ night! _ What do you think I'm going to see?"

He chuckled, "Now, now, I don't want to ruin the surprise!"

He drifted downward and you felt him settle delicately on the ground. The air smelled like sea air, stone, grass, and rich Earth.

As he uncovered your eyes, you squinted. A blanket was laid out on the grass, an electric lantern casting a warm glow across its octopus patterned surface, beside it was a picnic basket. Outside of the glow, you could see how dark it was. As your eyes adjusted you moved to the edge of the lantern’s light. The only illumination beyond it was coming from the thin crescent hanging in the sky. That light, you saw, was shattered and reflected in millions of shards glimmering on the waves on the horizon.

The blue-black of the grassy hillside cut off abruptly a ways ahead. You could hear the ocean against rocks.

A cliff.

You were on top of a  _ cliff _ .

Turning to look at him, you smirked, “Staying at home getting a little boring?”

“Absolutely not.” he chuckled, guiding you to the picnic blankets, “I just thought we might need a chance to get away from it all for a bit. Also, less chance of being spotted by others.”

You sat down, leaning against him, “Good call...”

A tentacle wrapped around your shoulders gently. A kiss was pressed to your cheek. 

The summer heat had disappeared and there was a chill to the air. Before you could say something about it, a light blanket was settled around your shoulders. It was a relief from overwhelming heat that still blanketed Tokyo.

"Okay, but where  _ are  _ we exactly?" you wrapped the blanket around you a little tighter, looking up at him.

"You can't suss it out?" He beamed, "I've given you  _ quite _ a few clues."

You thought about regions around Japan. How long had you traveled? How far could he go at his speed?

After everything today, your brain might as well have been oatmeal.

You shook your head, "No idea."

He chuckled, suddenly a wine glass filled with water was in his hand. He offered it to you, "Aotearoa, or as you probably know it, New Zealand."

"New Zealand?" You stared at him in surprise, accepting the glass (who the fuck brought wine glasses to a picnic???), "No wonder we were airborne for so long…"

"It takes roughly twenty-two minutes to here from Tokyo at my speed." He smirked, "A longer than usual trip, but worth it."

You laughed, "Oh a whole twenty-two minutes how terribly inconvenient!"

"Oh yes, the commute is horrible." He chuckled, green stripes crossing his face.

You rolled your eyes as he opened the picnic basket, pulling out plates and cutlery. When he seemed satisfied he stood. You looked up at him, curious.

“Now-” there was a rush and suddenly he was back with two covered dishes in his hands, “dinner.”

You snorted, “You didn’t pack it?”

He almost pouted, “They were just finishing in the oven!”

“...In the oven? When did you even have time to cook?”

He chuckled, green stripes in place again as he settled the platters on the blanket and took a seat next to you, “It  _ is _ only a twenty-minute commute. I took the liberty of starting during drills.”

“What?” you stared at him.

“It’s simple enough to make.” he smirked, “And given drills were wrapping up I had plenty of time.”

This idiot.

He uncovered one of the platters. Steam dispersed to reveal-

“Pomegranate glazed lamb chops and roast vegetables.”

“You did this  _ during drills? _ ”

“More accurately, I prepped it during drills. I started cooking shortly after school ended.”

“...wait, is that why you took so long to reply to me?”

He went a touch pink, “Ah, yes. I apologize. I had noticed you were busy with Takebayashi and thought it was an opportune time...”

You laughed and leaned over against him, “You don’t have to apologize. You were making me dinner for fuck’s sake.”

He chuckled, one hand coming up to run over your hair, “I thought it would be a good way to celebrate.”

“You were right.” you pulled the blanket around your shoulders a bit, “This is nice.”

“Of course.” he smirked, green stripes showing up, “What sort of celebration wouldn’t be?”

You rolled your eyes and elbowed him lightly. His laugh was fond, gentle, “I’m happy Takebayashi gave me the time to prepare… even if his news was a shock.”

“Yeaaaaaah…” you sighed, "He wasn’t the only one to talk to me, either. A few of the kids came to me today. Like…  _ more _ than usual…"

He set about adding a serving to your plate, "I'm sure you understand why."

You stared at him blankly. With everything going on you really hadn't had time to consider why today had been as busy as it was.

His expression was gentle, "As much as it may have infuriated them at the time, your protection of Takebayashi's confidence struck a chord with them. You’ve proven yourself  _ trustworthy _ ."

“Oh...” you accepted the plate he passed to you.

He chuckled, “I see you  _ didn’t _ realize.”

“Well, given how upset they were...”

“Of course,” he spread a napkin across his lap and settled his own plate on it, “They’re children. Teenagers, no less, which is a turbulent time for anyone no matter the circumstances. Children don’t always appreciate things that help them at first. Your confidence is one of those things.”

You were quiet, considering this as you took a bite of your food. The thought hadn’t really fully hit you.

“The children now know they can trust you completely to keep their secrets.” he smiled over at you, “And that is why they’re more inclined to approach you.” he chuckled, “Is it good?”

You looked up, confused and he gestured to your plate.

“Oh!” you nodded, “It’s fantastic.”

“I know that you struggle knowing your place in our classroom. But I do hope the trust of our students helps you to understand the importance of your presence.”

Nodding slowly, you felt a tendril brush your cheek. You glanced up at him.

“While assassins are solitary creatures, having someone you know can provide back up and cover is absolutely _ invaluable _ . That is what you provide to our students… and to me.”

Reaching up, you tangled your fingers in the tendril brushing your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to it, “Thank you.”

His smile was soft, “You’re welcome.”

Both of you turned your attention back to your meal. The lamb was tender with a savory-sweet glaze and the vegetables roasted perfectly. At this point, you really shouldn’t be surprised but damn… it was good.

“So… semester starts up properly soon.”

He nodded, “Six days. It’s such a shame seeing summer end.”

“Don’t think it’s going to be one I ever forget.”

“ _ Nurufufufu~ _ I would think not!”

You laughed, rolling your eyes, “I plan on opening class with the review test for first aid.”

“An excellent plan. I’ve also been drawing up a few plans for the greenhouse you suggested for the classroom as well as some concepts for various extra devices for Ritsu. Your suggestion of the camera was _ inspired _ . After all, the contract states that upgrades to her are considered to be harm but technically these devices aren’t her. A perfect loophole.” he grinned devlishly and you laughed.

“I guess that’s right. Wait… they said upgrades are harm?”

“Their way to remove the modifications I gave her, of course. Ridiculous. Honestly, all of the tools I had given her would only _ increase _ her skills.”

“What did you give her originally anyway?”

“A full-size touch LCD screen for starters.” he paused for a moment, considering, “Several apps, extra memory, etc. Software that assisted in her social protocols. Most of the software she was able to keep. It’s the hardware that is more of a concern.”

“I guess they saw it as a liability?”

He nodded, setting his plate aside, “Of course, they don’t trust their target. No matter how helpful I am.”

His tone played victim but the green stripes on his face indicated that he knew  _ exactly _ why they didn’t trust him.

You laughed a bit, shaking your head and setting your now empty plate aside, “Like I said before, you’re trying to kill us all with weaponized kindness.”

He chuckled and reached out, uncovering the second dish. It looked like some sort of lumpy white cake decorated in fruit…

It wasn’t until he offered you a slice that you realized it wasn’t cake at all.

There was a crisp outer shell with a light interior. A thick cream coated the top with the fruit laid out across it.

“Pavlova.” he grinned, cutting a slice for himself as well, “A customary dessert here. Quite simple, actually. Meringue, whipped cream, and fresh fruit.”

He wasn’t kidding about fresh fruit. The thing was heaped with pomegranate, strawberries, kiwifruit, mango and several other things you couldn’t immediately identify. Carefully, you scooped up a forkful of the dessert, taking a bite. It was sweet, the outside crisp and the inside like an airy marshmallow. The whipped cream was rich and heavy with the fruit adding bright spots of flavor among the soft, vanilla sweetness. You savored the flavor.

“That… is  _ amazing _ .” 

He chuckled, “Isn’t it?”

You nodded, your mouth full with another bite. There was a shutter noise and you paused, glaring at him as you saw the camera in his hands.

He whistled innocently, tucking it away.

What an idiot.

A precious, sweet idiot…

Between the two of you, dessert finished quickly. You were chilly but full and happy, leaning against him. He tucked the dishes away into the basket and set it all aside, “Now, I’ve saved the best for last. Close your eyes.”

You did so with a laugh, "What are you doing?"

"You'll see."

You felt hands guide you, "Lay back."

An odd request but you complied, laying back on the blankets. The chill of the Earth seeped through, permeating to your bones. You pulled the blanket a bit closer around yourself. There was a shifting beside you, warmth against your side and a second blanket settling over you.

"Are we camping? Cause I'll be honest, I'm gonna need you to keep me warm if that's the case…"

"Oh, tonight's accommodations _ are _ cozy, rest assured." He chuckled, "Now… open your eyes.”

When you opened your eyes the warm light of the lantern was gone, replaced by a sky full of stars.

“Ohhhhhh….”

No.

Not just stars.

The sky wasn’t it’s usual black with a smattering of stars.

No.

There were so many stars you could barely  _ fathom _ them.

So many stars that sections of the sky looked almost-

As your eyes adjusted you saw a curving band of smokey, broken patterns. Something you’d seen in media hundreds of times...

“Is that the Milky Way?”

You were surprised that there was no answer, you looked over at him and saw that he’d gone pink, his expression filled with soft tenderness.

Laughing a little, you waved a hand at him, “Cuddle Fish? You okay?”

The tone that came from him was filled with a genuine warmth that made your chest seize, “You are _absolutely_ _enchanting_ when you see something new and beautiful.”

Goddammit.

You felt your face heat up and rolled to face him, nuzzling up to his chest. He held you close.

It was cold, he was warm, and the world was a beautiful place.

Something he managed to remind you of every day.

What you wouldn’t give for more moments like this...

“It is, by the way.”

“Hm?” you looked up at him and he grinned brightly.

“The Milky Way.” he rolled back, an arm around you so you were curled up next to him, a hand gestured skyward, “Do you know the reason it looks like that?”

You shook your head slowly.

“What we are seeing are stars that we cannot see.”

“What?” you glanced up at him.

“More precisely,” he pointed, “Those dense areas are filled with stars that aren’t visible to the naked eye because of their distance. The light they cast, however, can be seen. The name comes from its appearance of course but the name is also very, very old. It comes from the ancient greek term  _ galaxías kýklos _ which means milky circle. Many locations have their own names for it, of course. It is often called a river or a pathway such as  _ Yínhé _ for ‘Silver River’ in Chinese or  _ Linnutee _ for ‘Way of Birds’ in Estonian.”

You scoured your brain for the info you had on space, “It’s another arm of the galaxy yeah?”

He nodded, “Our solar system is located in the Orion Arm of the galaxy. What we’re looking at here is the Galactic Center.”

“Center as in…?”

“We are looking at the center of our galaxy.”

The center of the galaxy…

You stared up at the bright band of stars above you.

In this moment, this quiet moment, everything you were worried about faded away.

All the weight of life, the things that clouded your mind, the day to day worries, and the overwhelming reminder of the year’s deadline…

It just all seemed so insignificant...

“We’re so small...” the words slipped out of your mouth, a hushed awe filling you.

"We are.” he agreed, “The universe is a vast place, both beautiful and terrifying.”

“Terrifying?”

He chuckled, “Well, now, I  _ did _ say I dread the idea of being shot into space.”

Oh… yeah he had mentioned that in Okinawa…

“Why?” you looked at him for a long moment, “Like… is there a reason?”

“I need  _ a reason _ for being afraid to be shot into space?!” his voice pitched up and you laughed.

“No, no I mean just… look, you can do SO much. It’s just… I don’t know it’s hard to imagine you being scared of things. I know that you are but…” you shrugged a bit.

“While I am a super being I  _ do _ still have human requirements. Air, water, food. And, while I have no doubts about my ability to turn most situations to my favor, the limitations of being confined in something like a rocket are quite terrifying despite the low chance.”

You nodded, tipping your head up to kiss his cheek.

“So, why show me something so terrifying?” you teased, snuggling up next to him.

“Because it  _ is _ so vast.” His hand found yours, clasping it gently, “How lucky are we to have this time to exist together?" his voice dipped into the quiet cadence of bare honesty, "There were  _ so many things _ that might have prevented either of us from being here,” he squeezed your hand, “but instead we  _ found _ one another."

Your throat tightened, you weren’t able to speak. Wrapping your arms around him, you buried your face in his chest.

_ Old books and summer rain... _

“God, I  _ love _ you.” you whispered.

“And I, you, Reader.” he kissed your head.

If it wasn’t so chilly you would have been happy to fall asleep there but, of course, the octopus wasn’t going to allow that.

“Now, one more thing...”

He sat up, pulling you upright as well and gestured to the horizon.

You squinted for a moment before realizing what he was gesturing to.

There, in a band along the skyline, was a soft shimmering band of light. Pale green with white rays extending upwards into the stars.

“Aurora australis. The southern lights.”

For a long moment you sat just staring at the lights along the horizon, “It’s beautiful...”

When you looked back to him you saw his camera in his hands, “It certainly is.”

Turning the screen to you, you saw that he’d taken a photo from behind the pair of you. The colors were brighter, rich glowing greens and pale pinks.

“Are you adjusting it?”

He chuckled, “Actually, no. You see, a camera can record a time exposure which is how you end up with the images of auroras we see so often. Cameras can also pick up on colors that we do not. Or, more precisely, that you do not.”

“So wait, what does it look like to you then?” you looked up at him, curious.

He tapped the camera, “Like this.”

“I wish I could see it like that.”

“That is what cameras are for.” he chuckled, “The human eye isn’t equipped for night vision. It lacks a tapetum lucidum, the reflector in animals eyes that results in their eyes shining at night. A quality that humans and other primates, unfortunately, lack. One of the many reasons why technology is so useful.”

You knew he could do things like see things at long distances but…

It had never occurred to you that he might literally see the world differently from you. Not on that scale…

He smirked down at you, “Nurufufufu~ I see your Detective Face has resurfaced.”

“I just… didn’t think about you seeing colors differently.”

“I like to think that I see in people what they don’t see in themselves.”

You felt your face heat up at that and laughed to cover it. Though, chances are if he could see things the way he claimed, he already knew you were embarrassed. A breeze blew in from the ocean and you shivered.

“We should get you warm.”

You were beginning to really feel the effect of the chill that had seeped into your muscles, “That would be great.”

He helped you down from the hillside where it sloped more gradually. You guessed to escape the breeze and maybe to get a better take-off point.

“So, we heading back or-”

You paused as you rounded the steeper side of the hill. Lights flared into existence. He grinned over at you, green stripes appearing, “Now why would we need to do that?”

You were facing a huge grassy and ivy-covered mound… that sported lit windows in a very familiar pattern.

“Oh. My. _ God. _ ”

He smirked, “Oh no, I’m afraid not. It’s just me.”

This was one of his houses, built into the side of a hill overlooking the cliffs. Ivy and grass grew up along the walls and in the two smaller windows you noticed two bright floral sprays. There were window boxes in the eyes.

You laughed, "Seriously?"

"Of course!"

He led you inside, once again through a door in the center of the smile.

The layout seemed identical to his other house but the aesthetic was certainly not.

The place had all the charm of a cottage or old inn. Wooden polished floors, wooden beams for support, white walls… it wouldn't have looked out of place as a fantasy film set…

"I take it you saw The Lord of the Rings."

He chuckled, "As an underground home it seemed a fitting theme.” he tapped a beam with the back of his hand which only resulted in a soft audible squish, “It also makes the location much more stable.”

He busied himself in the kitchen and you noticed…

“This place is uh… a lot more decked out than the other one.” you pulled the blanket around your shoulders, watching him as he filled a pot with water and turned on the stove.

He had a stove here. A stove, a kitchen island, copper pots hung up overhead, everything very themed to the rustic aesthetic as well…

You took a seat at the island, watching him.

“Yes, the floorplan is the same but I do take liberties with the decor. It’s very satisfying.”

His back was to you as he watched the pot of water.

“Satisfying?”

He poured boiling water into a pair of mugs, preparing tea, “Much like writing or finishing a piece of art. Making a cohesive environment for one’s self feels grounding.”

He…

A thought occurred to you.

“...you didn’t really have a room of your own growing up did you?”

He paused for a moment, his back still to you. When he spoke next it was softer, “Does a closet count?”

Your heart seized and you felt a spike of guilt, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked, I know that's painful for you...”

There was a sort of settling in his figure and he turned, passing you a mug of tea, “You said you want to know me.” he said it simply, leaning on the island, “The darker parts of my past are painful, yes. But...” he looked down at his tea, “Sharing them has helped.”

You sat in silence, watching him for a moment before taking a sip of your tea.

It was perfect, as always.

“To answer your question...” his hands clasped his mug, seeming to savor the warmth, “my first room was a closet. I slept on the floor with a blanket. When I was bought I didn’t have a room. I slept on a couch in the basement of the building.”

“What about later…?”

“Temporary living doesn’t leave much room for proper decor.” he looked up at you, “My student was far more inclined to decorate.”

His student…

“You mentioned him once before...”

He nodded.

There were so many things about him you still didn’t know…

Things you had never thought to even wonder about…

Before you could ask, he spoke.

“It was a foolish decision… taking on a student. I thought I knew what I was doing but time quickly proved that I did not.”

The tone he took… it was the same one from that night in the field.

You let him speak.

“I was well established when I took the boy on. I had taken a job that called for the death of an American bureaucrat. The man took his wine outside each night to the courtyard. A pattern like that made my work that much simpler. The kill was quick and simple. _ Easily _ done. But I wasn’t aware that I was being watched.”

You leaned forward on the island, listening intently.

“I heard a window open and a voice called out to me, ‘Please, teach me to kill like that!’” he looked up at you, “The voice belonged to a child.”

“A child?” you stared at him in shock.

When he’d said student you hadn’t thought it would be a kid…

He nodded, “I reminded him that I had just killed his father but the boy didn’t care. He said he wanted to learn what I knew or die trying...”

You noticed his hands tighten on the mug just slightly at that.

“In my pride, I thought that if I could pass my skills on to an apprentice, the scope of my work would broaden considerably. And, well, he volunteered so  _ eagerly _ , how could I not accept? I took him in and trained him.” 

“How old was he?” you looked at him, curious.

“Ten.” blue crept into his face, “The boy had lived a rich life before he came to stay with me, a life of luxury and he was willing to throw it away for the chance to kill. He was smart, quick, and had desire. Desire to do as I did…” he took a sip of his tea, “I couldn’t leave him. He’d seen my face. Letting him live was  _ not _ an option. So, I convinced myself that it was for the best. The boy was alone. If left alive he would simply go into a foster system. An unfeeling association that wouldn’t have his best interests at heart. Better that I give him a home, guidance, and teach him to survive.” 

He set the mug down, no longer making eye contact with you.

To hear him, this ridiculous grinning mascot talk about killing a child so casually was chilling.

But…

You wanted to know.

“He was a boy who coveted power. So power I taught him, _ just as he desired _ . To inspire loyalty, I emphasized the chasm between our respective gifts. I gave him profit and awe, in spades. There should have been no element of betrayal… had I seen him for who he was. I never acknowledged the boy. I never gave him an ounce of validation… and that neglect turned him against me.”

He went quiet for a long moment, “In my ignorance, I neglected the boy’s other gifts. He had an eye for beauty, a talent for art and gardening, but I pushed him to learn my trade. He wanted to learn my skills so my skills were what I taught him. There was no kindness, no consideration for his feelings...”

“I’ll never forget what he said to me when I was caught.” he looked up at you, “ _ ‘Goodbye, sir... you never did see me, did you?’ _ ” his grin turned into a grimace, “It wasn’t until Aguri that I understood what he meant by that. How big of a mistake I had made…”

You took a moment, considering his story.

“It was a mistake but,” you reached across the island, taking his hand, “You weren’t equipped for the task you took up.”

He looked at you quietly.

“I’m not excusing what you did.” you continued, “But it’s hard to teach properly when the way that you were taught was through neglect.”

“I was always intelligent, Reader. I should have known-”

“Intelligence and emotional intelligence are two very different things. It sounds like, from what you’ve told me, you didn’t have much emotional intelligence or understanding before the experiments were done on you.”

He quieted, looking at you.

“Aguri saw it. I think she might have  _ started _ it, honestly. The tentacles woke something up in you.” you looked across at him, “Left to your devices with one person who was open with you… you learned.”

He shifted slightly, “I am sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner...”

“Why?”

“I… my past is not a comfortable one and I worry it will change your opinion of me.”

“Hey.”

He looked up at you, traces of concern on his features.

You squeezed his hand, “I love you no matter where you came from or what you've done or what you're called, remember? I know you weren’t a good person then but you’re a good person  _ now _ and that… that matters.”

He squeezed your hand in return and you saw a measure of tension leave him.

You chuckled, "When I met you I thought you intended to destroy the Earth… and I still fell in love with you. I'm surprised that you think  _ anything _ would scare me away from you."

His grip tightened on yours, "I should consider that more."

In the quiet of the kitchen, the pair of you linked hands, mugs still steaming on the countertop. You ran your thumb across his skin gently.

“...I cannot express to you enough how much you mean to me, Reader.” his voice was soft, his hand warm on yours.

Getting up, you let your hands slip from his and moved around the island, hugging him. Your face was buried in his front, the blanket around your shoulders wrapping around him as well.

Arms encircled you and you looked up, kissing him gently, “I… don’t think I can either.”

The kitchen was warm, still filled with the scent of dinner and tea

Low, golden light permeated the room.

You were wrapped tightly in his arms.

It felt like home...


	103. Tutoring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy happy birthday to me! Have a double update to celebrate!

After a shower and a change into more comfortable pajamas (a pair he whipped up for you on the spot sporting his ridiculous face), you looked around to find your ridiculous boy.

To your right was the main living area which shared space with the kitchen, it was empty. A warm glow flickered through the hall you were in, looking left revealed a large fireplace with a small fire crackling away. Silhouetted in a chair beside it was Korosensei.

You made your way over. He looked up at you and, for the first time, you noticed that his eyes flashed in the shift of the light.

How the hell had you never noticed that before?

He grinned up at you, “They look wonderful on you.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes, “So, what did you want to do tonight?”

“Actually...” he took your hand and led you to the room you recalled was the library in his other house. A library was contained here as well, “There were some things I wanted to pick your brain about, if I may.”

“Sure…?”

What the hell could he need to pick  _ your _ brain about?

You followed him into the warmly lit library. It was  _ gorgeous _ . Hardwood shelves carved in intricate designs (of tentacles of course) sported rows of books of all kinds. You noticed that, given the fact that it was built into a hillside, this library didn’t have a window or a window seat. In its place, there was a curved desk built into the shelves. In the middle of the room was a low table with an ornate rug, cushions, and blankets around it.

You collapsed on a cushion, "Do you think we're ever going to catch a break? I feel like this year has been non-stop stress."

He sat at the table, a stack of books appearing beside him, "Unfortunately, no. I believe we're going to have to keep stealing time where we can."

You nodded with a sigh, closing your eyes. There was a soft touch to your cheek. You reached up, letting your fingers ensnare the tendril. Gently, you drew it to your lips, kissing it. It squeezed your fingers gently before retreating.

“So what did you want to pick my brain on?” you looked across at him.

"Your specialty. I do hope you don't mind..." he held up a medical textbook.

Ah.

He  _ had _ said it was something he wanted to talk to you about at some point...

"I mean… sure, but can't you read those _ instantly? _ "

"I can, yes, but taking my time allows me to develop theories and experiments to try."

"Yeah? You getting into medical experimentation?"

You regretted the words the moment they left your mouth. You were talking to a man who had been a medical experiment, that was-

He chuckled. If the statement bothered him he certainly wasn't showing it, "No, no, but there are some things I would rather know so that I may help better facilitate your work. I should know the same basic care you're teaching the students at least. And while books are an excellent source of knowledge, text pales in comparison to  _ experience _ ."

You picked up a book, turning it over in your hands, "The Oxford Textbook of Neurological Surgery? Seems a  _ bit _ more than basic first aid."

"Well, I  _ do _ like to be prepared for anything." He smirked over at you, "It helps that the subject is  _ fascinating _ . The human body is remarkable. Simultaneously delicate and fragile all at once." His fingers grazed the page of the book in front of him, "It can knit itself back together, function without certain organs or even limbs, improve senses to compensate for lost ones. But, at the same time one wrong strike to the head or neck, one hard hit to the chest, one properly placed puncture can kill it." His tone had softened from its usual boisterous lecture-based nature, "I never properly appreciated this knowledge before. I used it to kill but I could have used it to save."

_ Save her… _

The words were unspoken but they lingered in the air, a wisp of regret like incense smoke at a grave.

Reaching across, you rested your hand lightly on his arm.

"We can work on that together."

His smile softened into one of fondness, "I would like that."

The way he looked down at the pages, the softness of his voice. 

It struck a chord in you and you realized…

You'd never appreciated the human body either.

You had joined your job to prevent pain, to save lives, but you'd never considered the fact of after, of healing, of improvement.

Mental health, sure, but...

You never had stopped to appreciate how  _ amazing _ your species could be.

All of the things you'd recovered from this year, the way your body was improving, and him…

How he had adapted, changed, and survived something life-altering.

He was exceptional.

He was clearly lost in thought, his color fading to a muted pink, unlike his bright flustered shades.

What had Nagisa listed this as? Something like sleepy or distracted.

“Well, I don’t know how much _ my _ experience will help you, but shoot.” you gave him a smile.

His face flickered back to yellow, “Wonderful! Now… I had a question about organ structure specifically...”

An hour later and you were still fielding questions about various approaches to wound closures when your phone buzzed. You jumped in surprise and looked up to see that the octopus had his own phone out. You looked at your phone expecting a cheeky text from him but instead found a notification from Ritsu.

If you were both being contacted…

Your stomach dropped. Had something happened to the kids? Had Takebayashi told them about you? What-

You raised your eyebrows at the notification.

_ Group Chat Invite: Sensei! Target On! _

Holding up your phone you showed him. His eyes widened and he did the same.

He had the  _ same _ notification.

The two of you turned your attention to the new chat.

**Ritsu:** Welcome to the Target On! Chat!

**Mx. Reader:** What?

**Ritsu:** You said that Korosensei felt left out of the other chat.

**Mx. Reader:** Oooooooh, yeah.

**Karma Akabane:** Yeah, where is the octopus anyway?

**Korosensei:** I have arrived!

**Nagisa Shiota:** Welcome sir!

**Rio Nakamura:** You two arrived really quick.

**Mx. Reader:** Who?

**Rio Nakamura:** You and the octopus. What, you spending more quality time together?

You glanced up at said octopus. He had gone pink and looked up at you. You smirked and looked back to the phone.

**Mx. Reader:** Nah, I’m just at home getting ready for the first aid review.

**Korosensei:** And I’m currently having dinner in China, thank you.

**Rio Nakamura:** Hmmmm…

**Karma Akabane:** Not like they’d just come right out and say it. They’re not Takebayashi.

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** What?! I thought it was important!

**Ritsu:** Yes, we thought being upfront would be the best approach.

**Megu Kataoka:** Um… speaking of…

**Toka Yada:** Yeah, I have an announcement too actually. Since Korosensei doesn’t really know…

**Korosensei:** Know what?

Ohhhh boy this was going to be fun to watch.

**Toka Yada:** Megu and I are dating.

“ **_WHAT?!_ ** ” he was gawking at his phone, excited confusion on his face.

“Told you your shipping chart was wrong.~” you smirked across the table at him, waving your phone.

“Yada was a dark horse! How could I have known?!” he was typing frantically.

“Well, if you didn’t assume everyone in the class is  _ straight _ that would have been a good start,” you smirked.

He stared at the chat for a long moment, still in shock.

**Taiga Okajima:** WHAT?!

**Hinano Kurahashi:** WHAT?!?!!

**Korosensei:** W H A T?!

**Korosensei:** YOU’RE DATING?

**Korosensei:** HOW DID I MISS IT? HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

**Mx. Reader:** Pffft Congrats girls, ignore the octopus.

**Toka Yada:** I gave her a letter.

**Megu Kataoka:** It’s not that big of a deal guys.

**Korosensei:** NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?! IT’S ONLY FIRST LOVE BLOSSOMING IN MY CLASSROOM AND I’VE MISSED IT!

**Korosensei:** WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!

**Toka Yada:** We really don’t have to.

You were laughing, shaking your head.

There was a sound of concern from your companion and you looked up to see a panicked octopus.

“Wha-”

His hands came up to hold his head, “WHAT IF MORE OF THE CHILDREN ARE STRUGGLING WITH THEIR SEXUALITY BUT DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT?!”

You laughed harder, “Yada talked to me. You know, they might not be  _ comfortable _ telling you.”

“Why not?!” his colors had gone rainbow-striped, “Am I not approachable enough?”

You snorted, “It’s not that, you’re just-”

There was a rush and he was suddenly standing there with various rainbow themed party supplies, “Clearly we should have a party to assure Yada and Kataoka that they are  _ fully welcome _ in our classroom!”

You just gave him a long look, “This.  _ This _ is what the issue is.” you gestured, “These are kids that don’t want to make a fuss about things. And while your support is something they appreciate,  _ this _ is a bit much.”

He flickered to pink, “...” in a rush the supplies were gone and he was sitting at the table again looking embarrassed, “... a fair point.”

**Mx. Reader:** I think they’re fine. If they would like to do something with the class we can do that but if you girls are good then that’s okay too.

**Megu Kataoka:** Yeah, we’re fine.

**Korosensei:** My apologies, I simply want you both to feel comfortable and welcome in the classroom.

**Taiga Okajima:** Please feel comfortable in class.

**Taiga Okajima:** Like, really comfortable.

**Taiga Okajima:** I don’t mind if you make out or something just sayin’ 

**Tomohito Sugino:** STFU Okajima.

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** Okajima that’s out of line.

**Taiga Okajima:** I’m just sayin.

**Toka Yada:** I will kick your head in.

**Megu Kataoka:** We both will.

**Mx. Reader:** Yeah, Okajima, remember these are your classmates, not some hentai.

**Taiga Okajima:** Sorry…

**Karma Akabane:** Yeah, if anyone was going to be hentai around here it would be the octopus.

**Korosensei:** Karma THAT is out of line!

**Rio Nakamura:** Not really, it’s a logical assumption I mean LOOK at you.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** Oh god I don’t want to even think about that.

**Korosensei:** NOR SHOULD YOU! YOU ARE MY STUDENTS AND MY ASSASSINS!

**Taiga Okajima:** Now, wait a minute. You always say we should be looking outside of the box for assassination attempts. Sooooo…

**Nagisa Shiota:** I mean that’s valid but also… just no.

You were laughing your ass off. The octopus was magenta, face buried in his hands.

**Rio Nakamura:** It’s just like the bath thing, we need to know what he gets up to.

**Taiga Okajima:** Worst peeping session ever.

**Karma Akabane:** Besides, it’s not like the octopus would moonlight as a hentai actor anyway. He worries what we think of him too much for that.

**Korosensei:** EXACTLY.

**Karma Akabane:** So if he was going to do it it would be on the down-low. Maybe with an alternate personality or something.

**Korosensei:** NO??

You were wheezing at this point.

**Mx. Reader:** Oh my god you guys.

**Ritsu:** My analysis of published hentai of the tentacle genre does not reveal any live-action video consistent with Korosensei's form.

The chat went dead silent for a moment and then-

_ Several people are typing… _

**Taiga Okajima:** YOU WATCH HENTAI?

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** Ritsu…

**Nagisa Shiota:** Ritsu, what??

**Hinano Kurahasi:** OMG

**Rio Nakamura:** Oh my god????

**Karma Akabane:** Jeez Takebayashi you've been with her for like what, three days?

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** I didn't suggest this!!

**Ritsu:** I took it upon myself to run the search. Nakamura and Karma made a valid point that Korosensei would never tell us if he was starring in erotic content.

Across the table, from you, your idiot sat, face down on the table, neon pink. He slowly sat up and looked at you.

"You wanted to be included." You smirked at him, " _ Welcome to hell. _ "

He sighed, running a hand over his face, and turned his attention to his phone.

**Korosensei:** While I applaud your proactive approach, Ritsu, that isn't the sort of content you should expose yourself to.

**Ritsu:** Okajima and yourself collect eroge content. Takebayashi has a sizable collection as well.

**_Several people are typing…_ **

You were fucking howling, literally tearing up from laughing so hard. You flopped down in the pillows cackling.

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** Ritsu!

**Taiga Okajima:** Wait did you watch them all the way through?

**Hinano Kurahashi:** I knew about the octopus and Okajima but you too Takey?

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** I really enjoy the story! I didn't know Ritsu knew where they were.

**Ritsu:** I'm installed on your home computer. It isn't difficult to locate. Consumption of said media has not adversely affected me.

**Korosensei:** That is besides the point.

**Rio Nakamura:** I think it's spot on the point actually…

**Karma Akabane:** Yeah. What? Are you gonna tell her she shouldn't watch because she's a girl, a robot, or underage because that'd be sorta fucked up, Teach.

**Rio Nakamura:** Especially since the boys get away with it.

**Korosensei:** That is not what I meant!

**Ritsu:** I am aware of the social taboos regarding sexual content but humans are not consistent in their enforcement of such taboos.

**Mx. Reader:** Maybe sex ed should be the next thing we cover in class.

**Taiga Okajima:** YES!

**Rio Nakamura:** Sounds like fun.

**Karma Akabane:** Oh this is going to be a riot.

**Nagisa Shiota:** Sex Ed?

**Mx. Reader:** Well, yeah, you're all around the right age for a class on it and, given current circumstances, it seems fitting.

**Megu Kataoka:** That does seem like a good idea…

**Mx. Reader:** Okay. I'll move that up in my lesson plans.

**Rio Nakamura:** Are you going to sit in on class like you normally do, Korosensei?~

You looked up across the table and cackled at the look of complete defeat on your idiot’s face. He sighed.

**Korosensei:** Of course, I am your teacher after all. 

**Taiga Okajima:** Maybe Professor Bitch can come in for demonstrations.

You glanced up to see pink on your idiot’s face along with a familiar dreamy expression.

**Korosensei:** That would be nice.

**Karma Akabane:** And now you're encouraging him, shameful.

He glanced up, caught you staring, and immediately began to type.

**Korosensei:** I'm simply saying that she is a very qualified teacher in that department.

**Mx. Reader:** She has experience, that doesn't mean she'll teach the topic well. I have a feeling it would drift more towards techniques than safety.

Korosensei's eyes widened at that comment, his entire body going pink. You gave him a small kick under the table.

He jumped and went magenta, "What?! She  _ is _ talented, it's her  _ job!" _

"Uh-huh." You rolled your eyes.

**Taiga Okajima:** CANMSBITCHTEACHUS?!

**Mx. Reader:** Sorry but as your health education teacher I'm saying no.

**Korosensei:** Yes, we should allow Me. Reader to teach the subject as they see fit.

He was looking across the table at you, shamefaced. You laughed, " _ Relax _ , Cuddle Fish. I'm not mad. I'm just saying if she were helping it would turn into complete chaos in there."

That seemed to help, you saw some of the tension leave his frame. Idly, you ran a foot along his leg under the table, attention back on the chat.

**Rio Nakamura:** Yeah, let the lovebirds teach class, that’s more fun anyway.

**Mx. Reader:** I don’t think Karasuma and Irina want to teach sex ed.

**Rio Nakamura:** That is not what I meant and you know it.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** I don’t want a class on that with them anyway…

**Taiga Okajima:** You’re just saying that because Ms. Bitch would be there.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** Am not!

**Rio Nakamura:** Look half of us here have a thing for Mr. K, it’s okay.

**Hinano Kurahashi:** o(>< )o Shut up!

**Mx. Reader:** Okay but Mr. Karasuma teaching sex ed is… possibly the weirdest image I’ve been given today.

**Ritsu:** I think he would be very effective.

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** That’s the point. Effective but not… uh….

**Nagisa Shiota:** He would teach it the same way he teaches PE which… isn’t really comfortable for the topic.

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** Exactly.

**Taiga Okajima:** That’s why you have Professor Bitch there, to offset.

**Mx. Reader:** It’s a moot point anyway, you kids are stuck with me and the octopus.

**Rio Nakamura:** Which is going to be fun in its own way.

**Yuma Isogai:** What did I miss?

**Karma Akabane:** Oh just a lot of talk about hentai.

**Yuma Isogai:** Haha very funny

**Megu Kataoka:** Read up in the chat, Isogai.

**Yuma Isogai:** ...oh

**Yuma Isogai:** You were serious.

You snorted and managed to sit up, looking across at the octopus. He sighed, “Is this what they’re always like?”

“You have no idea.” you chuckled.

**Korosensei:** It seems the second semester is bringing in love stories.

**Rio Nakamura:** Uh huuuuuuuh…

**Korosensei:** I think it’s wonderful! I wish you the best of luck in your new relationships! 

**Korosensei:** (｡•̀ᴗ-) ♡

**Toka Yada:** Thanks Korosensei.

**Ritsu:** Thank you! 

**Megu Kataoka:** (*/_＼)

**Kōtarō Takebayashi:** (-_-)

**Rio Nakamura:** Congrats to you too, Korosensei~

**Korosensei:** On what?

**Rio Nakamura:** Your new career in hentai.

**Korosensei:** NAKAMURA!

**Mx. Reader:** (*≧▽≦)

**Mx. Reader:** Okay, I’ll let you guys harass the octopus. I’m going to turn in.

**Ritsu:** But my analysis showed that he isn’t in any hentai films…

**Ritsu:** Oh! Wait, that was a joke, wasn’t it?

**Rio Nakamura:** Yes, Ritsu. It was a joke.

**Rio Nakamura:** Night Mx. Reader!

**Mx. Reader:** Night!

“You are so easy.” you chuckled.

“Nue?” he looked up at you in surprise, “What do you mean?”

“They really know how to push your buttons. It’s cute.”

He went a touch pink, “They aren’t the only ones.”

You laughed and got up, coming around to sit on his side of the table, leaning against him, “I mean, you’re really obvious, so it’s not hard.”

He huffed slightly and you sat up, kissing his cheek.

Setting the phone aside, he looked at you, “It’s not a detriment, is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“To my teaching,” he gestured, “You have more experience than I do.”

You laughed, “The kids love you even given the circumstances and their grades are going up. You being easy to tease isn’t a detriment.”

He relaxed a measure at that.

“I keep forgetting this is your first year at this. You’re always so confident.” you chuckled, leaning on the table.

He scratched his head, “Well when one works as an assassin it’s important to hold yourself with confidence. You convince others you belong somewhere you do not. And while it’s my first year teaching properly, I was prepared to take on such a role if required for a job.”

“Yeah?” you looked at him.

He nodded, “I was quite capable before my transformation too. As I said, I was lucky that I was smart. It’s what kept me undetected for so long.”

“So what you’re telling me is you were a genius before all of this and this has just made you smarter?”

His grin widened, “That is one way of putting it, but I prefer to think of it this way,” he gestured, “I was intelligent before this but after gaining these skills I was able to unlock more potential. I can read and absorb information faster. I can manipulate my own body because of my knowledge. Much of the skills you see me use, the visual clones, my shapeshifting, these things are not something I knew immediately. They were skills I developed. Other skills that I already had such as the language skills and my fighting techniques I adapted and improved upon. With my speed, I can do this at an accelerated rate.”

“Lucky to be smart?”

He nodded, “I was able to manipulate the experiment while being tested upon to guide the outcome. Had I not been able to… I shudder to think of what the result would have been.”

You reached over, taking his hand.

“I credit much of this to a desire to learn.” he squeezed your hand, “It’s something I’ve always had and something that’s served me well.”

“It’s an excellent quality to have in this job.” you gave him a smile, then turned your attention to the books in front of him, “And you’re definitely not slacking.”

“Of course not! Should anything happen I want to be prepared!” he closed the book in front of him, selecting another from the pile.

You chuckled, "Well if you've been studying then obviously I need to quiz  _ you _ too."

His grin brightened and he perked up, "An excellent idea!"

“No Mach 20 peeking in books for the answers.”

“Why would I need to? I’ve already memorized them.”

You laughed, “Good lord, okay then,” you sat up, looking at him, "First we'll start with some basics. How many bones are in the skull?"

"Twenty-two, twenty-eight if one includes the bones of the inner ear."

You nodded, "Now can you name them?"

"Occipital, parie-"

"Hold on, you need to show me where they are."

He reached up, tapping at the back of his head, "Occipital-"

You scooted closer to him, "Maybe show me on someone that  _ doesn't _ look like an octopus?"

He went a touch pink and nodded, his hand reaching out to cradle your head, fingers brushing the lower portion of it, "Occipital."

His hand ran through your hair on one side grazing your scalp along the top of your head, "Parietal…"

"Mmhmm…" you smirked up at him.

His hand drifted down the side of your head, just above your ear, “Temporal.”

“Correct.”

His hand drifted forward, “Sphenoid.”

He paused for a moment, looking at you.

“What? Forget the next one?”

“No…” his eyes closed for a moment and he pulled you close gently.

“Hey… what is it?” you wrapped your arms around him, looking up.

“The juncture of the sphenoid, temporal, parietal, and frontal bones is the temple. One of the weakest points on the skull.” he spoke with a measured voice, as though reciting, “It is the thinnest part of the skull and the area contains a major artery that, if injured, can cause bleeding in the brain.”

“Yeah.” you looked up at him, “Good job!”

His expression didn’t show any satisfaction.

“What?” you reached up, cupping his cheek.

“It’s an easy place to make a kill.” there was an underlying pain there.

“And?”

“I still associate it with that.”

That…

You could see why that might upset him but-

“You know… I remember a conversation we had about skills once.” you looked up at him.

“Hm?”

“If I recall right you said that the importance was that I had no intention of using my skill set to kill.”

His eyes widened slightly.

“Which would mean that the same is true for you.” you gave him a smile, “You have all of this knowledge you acquired for killing people. Now you turn that knowledge to your advantage. You know the places that need protection, you know the places that are the most dangerous to be hit, now it’s just filling in the gaps for how to fix that damage should it happen.”

You were suddenly pulled against him, your face buried in his robes. You laughed a bit, hugging him back.

“You listen far more than I suspect sometimes.” he chuckled.

“Of course I do. You’re a great teacher,” you smirked up at him and he kissed you gently.

When you parted you gave him a grin, “Now, don’t think that’s going to get you out of the quiz.”

He chuckled, his hands coming up to your face, tracing your brow and the outer edge of the eye socket, “Frontal, zygomatic, the ethmoid is,” his fingers grazed the bridge of your nose, “In your eye socket behind your nasal bone. Along with the lacrimal bone. And inside your nose are the palatine, inferior nasal concha, and vomer.”

“Mmmmhmmm… what else?” 

A finger traced your cheek, coming down to tip your head up gently at the chin, “Maxilla and mandible.”

You smirked, “Good job.” you gave him a small peck on the lips, “Now, inner ear?”

“The auditory ossicle which is comprised of the malles, incus, and stapes.”

“Perfect.”

He’d gone a soft pink, his smile fond and gentle.

"And these?" You splayed your fingers out interlinking them with his.

"Phalanges…" he chuckled, turning your hand over and tracing the structures, “Distal, intermediate, proximal, metacarpals...” he pressed a kiss to your wrist, “and carpals.”

You laughed a little and nodded, “Correct.”

Climbing into his lap, you ran a hand over his front, “You really are doing a good job. Way better than I was doing in school for this.”

He sighed, “Thank you.”

“Anytime Cuddle Fish.” you leaned in, kissing him again.

You leaned against his front, his arms encircling you.

The sounds of the waves outside penetrated even to this room, the quiet shushing of them settling you.

What a good way to round out a hell of a day...


	104. Thirst Aid (NSFW)

Sitting up in his lap you straddled him. He made a small sound of surprise.

“Now… What about erogenous zones?” you smirked, leaning forward.

Neon pink.

"Pardon?"

"Think you can identify erogenous zones?"

"Yours specifically?" 

You gave him a coy smile and hands came up to grip your waist, “Maybe… though I’m definitely interested in yours.”

He chuckled, “Is that so?”

“I mean… you  _ are _ different now, I think we can both agree on that, so...” you gave a small shrug, “I’m curious.”

Wow, that uh…

That was blindingly pink.

You laughed a little.

“Perhaps I should be quizzing you then.” he said, “It _ is _ new material for you.”

“Mmmmm we were giving you a review though.” you ran your hands along the edges of robes lightly, “So I think you need to finish yours first.”

He smirked, “Well...” his hand came up, cupping your face, you leaned into the touch, “While not specifically an erogenous zone, the face is certainly an intimate area to touch. Lips, however...”

You found yourself pulled closer, his lips on yours. As he parted from you, there were the faint traces of green stripes across his face, “Those certainly are erogenous.”

Laughing, you covered your face. He drew ones of your hands away, kissing along the palm down to your wrist, “While largely not considered, hands and the sensitive skin of the inner arm can also be quite arousing to have touched.”

As he kissed along your forearm you trailed your fingers along his head.

“There is also the scalp.” he glanced up at you for a moment, a hand coming up to trail through your hair, “and by extension… the neck...”

Fingers glided along the back of your neck, caressing your throat. He leaned in, kissing along the area and you squirmed biting back a moan.

Fuck. You’d been trying to keep your composure.

He sat back, green stripes in place and grin sharper than usual.

You laughed, “Okay, smart ass. What next?”

He chuckled trailing a hand across your shoulder for a moment before bringing it back to your collarbone. From there he made his way down to the first button of the pajamas you were wearing.

“Well, you see...” he popped the button opened carefully, “erogenous zones are largely more sensitive if exposed...”

Your breath caught as he gently undid the next button, “Is that so?”

“Oh absolutely.”

His hand came to rest over your heart.

"Your heart is racing…"

You laughed softly and smiled, "It always does that around you." 

Brilliant pink. He touched his forehead to yours lightly.

His hand continued, slowly loosening each button until your chest was bare. His hands became a little more exploratory here.

“The entire chest and abdominal area is quite sensitive.” his hands brushed gently across your skin, “Areas of note, of course, are the areolas and nipples…”

A shiver went through you as he gently toyed with them. You bit your lip and he chuckled, “Do remember, Reader, we’re not at your place...” a hand slipped around to your back, pulling you closer, lips close to you ear, “there’s no need to be so quiet.~”

You laughed, burying your face in his front. He kissed your cheek lightly, fingers grazing the skin of your lower back, “The sacrum, also an erogenous zone.” His other hand traced down your stomach idly, “And the abdomen...”

Reaching down, you guided his hand. His eyes widened.

"And this?" You trailed his hand lower below the waistband of your pajamas, grazing the area above your sex.

He took a wavering breath, "The mons pubis…"

You kissed him then, gently, "Top marks, Cuddle Fish."

His hand withdrew and you made a sound of surprise. When you sat back he was smirking, “I do believe we were going to cover both of ours.”

Cute.

You sat up, “Wellll… if that’s the case...” gently, you reached out, loosening his tie, “I’m going to need a little more access...”

He nodded and assisted you as you began to undress him. Hat, tie, robes, gown, all were gently laid to one side. You worked your way through the buttons of his shirt slowly, “Let’s seeeee...”

He’d gone neon pink at this point, watching you.

“You’re touch starved, which does influence your sensations a bit and you’ve said the tentacles do as much as well...” you reached up, cupping his face and pulling him into a kiss, “Of course you also can make anything you want a direct erogenous zone too.”

He chuckled just a bit, “True...”

“Which is something I would love to test run with you sometime…~”

His breath caught, “Would you?”

You faltered, looking up at him, “If you’re alright with that.”

“I would love to… but tonight is about testing the main material.”

With a laugh, you leaned in, kissing along his cheek and down his neck, “I know, Cuddle Fish.” you let your hands glide along his torso, “You love having your face touched, which is adorable. And your neck is definitely a weak spot.”

You felt a shiver from him as you flicked your tongue against his throat lightly.

“Hmmmm, you seem to love touch in general though...” you drew one of his hands up, kissing along it, “I think your reactions to this sort of thing is a little more than  _ just _ about your oral fixation.”

Gently, you ran your tongue along his finger before kissing at the soft pads there. He made a soft sound and you chuckled, “Right?”

“Correct...” he watched you, eyes wide.

“I’m willing to bet that has to do with the tentacles too.” you said softly against his skin, not quite taking his finger into your mouth but letting it rest between your lips for a moment before drawing back, “Either way it’s really cute.”

He shuddered as you drew away and then you paused for a moment, reaching out to gently hook a tendril with one finger, pulling it forward. You pressed a gentle kiss to it and he made a soft sound.

“So it’s not just your hands then…” you smirked, running your tongue over the bulb there.

“A-ah… no… it isn’t.” his voice wavered as he watched you, “Hands and appendages need to be sensitive to detect minute differences in surfaces.”

“So the tips of your tentacles are more sensitive by default then.”

He nodded slowly, clearly still very distracted by the kisses you were pressing to the tip of the tendril you held.

“But similar to hands, it relies on the scenario?” you released the tendril and he let out a breath.

“Yes, exactly.”

Gently, you let your hands explore the softness of his torso. His breath was shaky as you drifted lower, “It does seem like a lot of this is the same… until we get here...”

You had reached the part in his legs. You slid your hand into the gap, looking up at him.

A moan escaped him, a hand tightening on your waist.

"Thinking about Irina now?~" you teased.

He went magenta, his breath catching, "Not at all…"

You let your fingers explore the space, running them across sensitive skin.

"You know… it's okay if you think she's hot." You continued teasing him while leaning in to kiss him, "That's natural…"

He moaned against your lips softly.

Hell, yes…

As you parted, you felt your face heat up, "I guess I just…"

"Get jealous?" He looked at you gently.

"...maybe a little… sometimes." you felt ashamed, “I mean she’s great. She’s actually a lot of fun. I'm not...I don't want you to think I'll get mad about you looking or something, I know she's kind of distracting...”

Shit, you were rambling, you stopped yourself.

What kind of awkward fuck talks about something like this during foreplay?

Fucking autopilot.

His expression softened and he went a pale pink, “You have nothing to worry about, Reader. Please, allow me to show you," you were suddenly on your back among the cushions, him over you, " _ exactly _ how much I love you…"

Your face went hot and he leaned in, kissing you.

"Irina might be fun to tease and lovely to look at but she doesn't hold a  _ candle _ to you." He began to kiss down your throat.

"You smell divine, you taste divine, the sounds you make are beautiful, you are compassionate, caring, intelligent, and curious. A lovely person and one that, I admit, tests the  _ limits _ of my restraint…" His lips brushed your navel gently, "There are many reasons I'm with you instead of Irina. Not simply because of her lack of interest."

You squirmed as he continued to kiss along your torso, swirling a tongue around a nipple, pulling your pajama bottoms down just a touch to kiss along your bare hip.

"How she didn't have interest in you is beyond me." You gasped, rocking your hips, trying to draw attention to the place you wanted him to touch the most, "Even if I didn't like you, I'd still be  _ curious _ about these…"

You reached out, gently plucking at a tendril that had found its way to one of your nipples. Its attention turned to your hand where it entwined with your fingers. You kissed the tip of it softly.

“Well, given your personal preferences...!~” he teased, dragging your pants off of you slowly.

“Okay now, look.” you laughed, propping yourself up, “Seriously, how can someone look at you and NOT be curious.”

He laughed, “I’m certainly glad that it’s you who was curious enough.”

He leaned down, kissing along the bare skin carefully avoiding your sex.

“That’s not fair.” you felt your face burning.

“Whatever do you mean?” he chuckled, “I’m sorry, are we  _ not  _ exploring erogenous zones?”

“We are but it’s  _ supposed _ to be your turn.” you gave him a look.

Bright pink.

“What did you think you were going to get out of it?” you smirked.

“No, I simply… that is...” he was flustered, paused in placing a kiss to your inner thigh.

You sat up, reaching down to tip his face up to yours, “Come on. Let me love you.”

Magenta.

You chuckled and sat up, shedding the pajama top finally and pushing him back gently. You were careful not to lean over him or put too much pressure, letting him rest himself back against the pillows. His legs were parted, sprawled about in a haphazard fashion. Sitting back, you looked over him. His shirt was still on, open, his legs parted. His expression was sheepish.

You gave him a smile and sat in front of him, eyeing the pearlescent skin exposed below his legs.

"So... may I?"

He nodded and you reached down, running your fingers along the space there.

He shivered, his arms wrapping around a few of the pillows near him.

As you traced little patterns on the skin, you glanced up at him, "Soooo... Is there anything you want to try?"

Deep magenta. His eyes widened.

"I mean... I could keep this up." You walked your fingers along the tender flesh. His breathing hitched.

"Or... I could use my hands on one of your tentacles... Or my mouth.. or..." You kept your hand moving, pressing and rubbing smoothly against him, "I could put something in you for a change.. "

There was a sound of shock and he looked at you, flustered, "What would you..."

"Given what I've seen you do with your tentacles, I'm pretty confident that I could  _ easily _ fit my fist in you."

He made an alarmed sound.

An alarmed and  _ excited _ sound

You were starting to be able to tell those apart.

Gently, you drew circles along the pearlescent flesh with a finger, "If you'd like that anyway…"

"Yes..." His voice was soft, wavering.

The flesh sank inward below your fingers and you found yourself looking at a rather generic hole.

Gently, you slid a pair of fingers inside, "You always do sort of a simple entrance. Why not other things?"

He was squirming as you glided your fingers in and out of him, "Well... I'm not certain of your preferences..."

Your… preferences?

Adorable.

"Think we established that my preference is  _ you _ ..." You eased another finger into him.

Given his body's makeup he didn't  _ need _ stretching, but Lord was it fun watching him squirm...

"True but- ah!" His tentacles curled inward, shaking.

"So, I'll enjoy whatever you want to use. I'm just saying don't feel like you have to keep it like that. If you'd rather use other things then I'm here for it."

The entrance was clenched around your fingers, slick and warm. 

"It's…" He gasped, trembling, "something w-we could try sometime..."

"You ever done it before?~" you drew your fingers nearly out of him, teasing at him, toying with the opening.

He froze, neon pink.

"You have, haven't you?"

He made a flustered sound and you sank your fingers back into him.

"Y-yes..." His voice was strained, tentacles still curling inward reflexively.

"Cute." You smirked at him, "Thinking about me?~"

He went an even deeper pink, "In a sense..."

"What does that mean?" You slipped another finger in, digging in deeper. 

He gasped, "I- I- might have been  _ simulating _ you..."

"Simulating?"

"Well, a-ah! I can emulate different entrances..."

You laughed a bit, slowly curling your fingers inside of him, "Are you saying that you mimicked my-"

He gasped "Yes..."

"Well, they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." You pulled your fingers out of him. Strands of clear fluid trailing behind.

Gently, you clasped your fingers together and eased your hand into the tight entrance, allowing it to make a fist the further you sunk in. You were careful as you slowly moved your arm.

He cried out, tentacles wrapping around parts of you, clinging to keep himself from falling apart. 

That... Sounded like it was good but...

"Are you okay?" You pressed a kiss to one of his legs which was now resting on your shoulder.

He nodded, looking down at you, "I-it's just new." He laughed slightly, breathless, "Your hand is much harder than my tentacles are."

"Oh! Shit, I'm not hurting you am I?"

He shook his head, "Remember, Reader, my body is much more malleable than yours."

"Yeah? You're clinging to my hand pretty tightly..."

The grip instantly loosened as the cavity widened.

"I'm sorry it just feels so..." He gasped as you pushed in a little deeper, "Ohhhh it's so  _ good _ Reader..."

The way his voice dipped made your chest seized.  _ Fuck _ you wanted to hear more of that.

"If you like it being tight you can keep doing it. I don’t mind." You slid your hand in and out of him gently and felt him tighten around you again. You gave him a reassuring smile, watching as his head dropped back onto the pillows. The moan that came out of him was intense, his body taut.

"Mmmm... So, you like this?" You eased your hand in and out of the soft, tight warmth of him.

"Y-yes!" His tentacles were coiling in on themselves.

"Goooood..." You purred, spreading out your fingers as wide as you could. His cry pitched up in surprise and you chuckled, "Yeah?"

He nodded, his body squirming.

While you continued to move your hand inside him you moved your other hand to the skin outside of the entrance, trailing your fingers along it teasingly and then running them out along the underside of the nearest leg.

His breathing was faltering, his body shivering with each slow thrust.

“Obviously this whole area...” you let your other hand run back from his leg to the space around the entrance he’d formed, “Is an erogenous zone.”

He gave you a look and you laughed, “What?”

“A-and you called  _ me _ a smart ass.”

You laughed harder and kissed along the leg over your shoulder again, “You’re cute when you pout.”

There was a huff from him that cut off midway into a squeak of surprise as you gently sped up your motions with your hand. You stifled a laugh but jumped as something brushed against your sex.

A tentacle was extended below the entrance you currently had your hand in and was teasing at your sex gently.

You bit back a moan, burying your face into the leg over your shoulder, “N-not fair...”

He chuckled, “I think it’s perfectly fair. After all, you seem very keen on trying out new things tonight...”

Something warm, wet, and textured wrapped itself around your sex and you shuddered, glancing down. The end of the tentacle had parted into an almost floral arrangement of petal-like appendages, each textured with small nubs. This stroked and prodded at you, teasing at sensitive places. You whined, your legs shaking from the amount of stimulation, trying to keep your focus on moving your hand inside him.

You felt a hand trailing along your back, his legs curling inwards further as you continued thrusting.

“R-Reader...”

"That's it, Cuddle Fish…" you rubbed your cheek against his leg softly. He dragged the tentacle upward in a way that made you shudder, "A-ah!"

He tensed gasping at the sounds you made. You kept up your motions and were surprised when he managed to cry out, "Faster… Reader,  _ please! _ "

Oh, if he was going to beg you like that there was  _ no way  _ you were gonna disappoint.

You sped up, one of his hands came to grasp your free one. You squeezed it as you continued moving your other arm. He was tensing, his breathing faltering, the tentacle against your sex shivering and not quite able to maintain it’s motions.

“Yes,  _ yes _ , ah-” his cry cut off halfway as his body arched, tentacles writhing and curling inward as colors shifted across his skin.

You kept up your motions a bit slower now, gentler, but not stopping. His breathing was labored, his body still spasming. The entrance your hand was buried in clenched and you spread out your fingers, stretching him. The motion made him writhe more, gasping as you slowly stretched and relaxed your fingers inside of him.

“Reader…  _ ohhhh, Reader...” _

His voice fluctuated as you moved, making you chuckle.

“Aw, what is it Cuddle Fish?”

He didn't rise to your teasing, instead, he looked at you with an expression equal parts desperate and sheepish, "Once more?"

You laughed softly but sped up all the same. His head dropped back onto the pillows, his breath coming in short quick pants. You kissed along the leg looped over your shoulder, "You look  _ amazing _ ."

He made a soft embarrassed yelp which was swiftly overtaken by a  _ very  _ satisfied moan. Colors danced across his skin and you splayed out your fingers giving more resistance to the tightened entrance. The motion made him arch and cry out, shuddering under your touch.

"I had no idea you'd like this so much or I would have offered sooner."

He was gasping, trying to regain composure as you slowed down. When he seemed ready to speak you drew your hand almost out before pushing it back in.

You could feel him shudder around your hand, the leg over your shoulder trembling, his hand still clutching yours squeezed desperately. Even the tentacle pressed to your sex shuddered which made you gasp, You went slower now, still dragging your hand in and out of the entrance he’d made, watching has he moaned and gasped. Colors flickered across his skin again and again before finally, he gasped out, “Reader, w-wait...”

You slowed and carefully pulled your hand out of him. It was glistening with clear fluid. You held it awkwardly at your side, not wanting to make more of a mess. The tentacle against your sex retreated slowly, as did the hand he had wrapped around yours.

Gently, you made your way to his side, leaning in to kiss his cheek, “You okay?”

“Y-yes...” he sighed, content, “But if we keep that going I’m never getting around to you. Also,” he pointed at you, “We have to be at the school tomorrow and it’s already late.”

“Damn…”

Suddenly there was a warm wet cloth gliding over your arm and a very, very pink octopus assisting you.

“Iamsosorryaboutthatuh-”

“What?” you laughed, “That was great!”

Wow, that uh… damn, that pink was killing your eyes…

“Ididn’tmeantomakesuchamessand-”

You leaned up, pulling him into a kiss, “It was  _ great _ . Mess is just part of the whole thing, you know that.”

He went quiet, shifting awkwardly.

“What? Embarrassed you came that hard from my hand?”

He stared at you, the pink shifting to a deep magenta.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” you kissed him again, “It was hot.”

“Well...” he took a breath, “Now I do believe it’s your turn. I  _ did _ say I wanted to show you how much I love you.”

Ohhhh god... 

Your face was on fire.

He pulled you close, kissing you deeply, when you parted he touched his forehead to yours, "May I?"

His hand grazed your bare hip and you chuckled, "Yes."

He laid you back among the blankets, his hands trailing over you, tendrils brushing back your hair, stroking your cheek, gently caressing your skin. His hand brushed lightly over your skin as it made its way down your frame. The sensation skirted the edge of ticklish, barely there but tantalizingly present. 

His fingertips were soft and smooth, teasing around your sex but avoiding direct contact, you squirmed. After everything he’d done so far this was sheer _ torture _ .

You whined, “Thought we didn’t have a lot of time...”

He leaned down, kissing you gently, “There’s _ plenty _ I can do in the time we have.~”

The implications of that made you shudder. 

He teased at you with his hand, the other roving across your body.

"You are magnificent." He said it with a soft, genuine awe that made your stomach drop.

"I'm not." You shook your head but only ended up arching as he trailed one finger delicately across the most sensitive part of your sex.

"I beg to differ." He said softly, "And given what you just did I think I have  _ plenty _ of evidence to support my statement."

His hands roamed over your skin, teasing at sensitive places. Leaning over, he pressed his lips to your neck, then left a trail of kisses down to your chest.

One soft finger teased at your sex as he kissed your bare skin. You whined, your body aching for more interaction, more attention…

Kissing his way back up, he pressed his lips lightly to your ear, "Now, let’s see if I can return the favor.~” you buried your face in his shoulder and he chuckled.

He was still teasing you with his fingers, one slipping down to your entrance. It buzzed and you yelped in surprise.

Green stripes and a flash of a smirk, “That is absolutely darling.”

You wanted to up a front that you were annoyed with him but it was incredibly difficult when you had something both stroking at your sex and vibrating against your entrance.

The cocky bastard was absolutely amused at your predicament too. The green stripes hadn’t faded yet.

“What’s wrong, Reader? Is it a bit much for you? I could always stop if you require...” his touch came lighter, almost nonexistent.

“No! Please!” you felt your face heat up dramatically.

“Perhaps...” you noticed he faltered slightly as he spoke, dipping his head down to murmur against your ear, “Perhaps you should make sure I know how much you’re enjoying yourself.”

Fuck…

You shuddered, moaning softly against his shoulder.

“Hmmmm… I think you can do a bit better than  _ that _ .” one finger pushed into your entrance and you gasped, crying out.

“Yes… much better.” he chuckled, kissing along your neck.

You squirmed as he teased at you, building you up. There was no biting back moans now, you could barely breathe from how good it was.

“Tell me, Reader...” he whispered softly, “What is it you want?”

“I want _ you _ ,” you whined, panting against his throat.

You heard a soft sound from him and felt a little shudder run through the hands against you. Reaching up, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“Mmmm I think you’ll need to be a touch more specific…~” his voice was teasing and in the edge of your vision, you could see the green stripes still out in force.

“Fuckme.” you gasped, your face still buried in his shoulder, “Take me. Just fucking, please, I want you inside…  _ please! _ ”

“Hmmm...” he leaned back just a touch, kissing you softly, “How can I be sure you’re ready?”

“Please? God, please...” you squirmed, his touch was more insistent now, demanding your attention, you arched your back trying to grind yourself against him, “Make me come?”

He made a small flustered sound, his motions slowing up a bit.

Shit… you looked up at him but found his expression had settled into a warm fondness. He chuckled as he flickered from pink back to his green stripes and leaned in, “You want me to  _ make _ you come?”

“Y-Yes!” you moaned as he continued his slower teasing.

Fuck this was torture.

You wanted him in you.

Suddenly his lips were against your ear again, that darker tone running through his voice, “Then  _ beg _ .”

“Sensei, please make me come, I’ll do anything just please...” the words tumbled from your mouth, desperate. 

He chuckled low against your ear and suddenly you were being filled, the teasing vibration replaced with a warm fullness. Each deep thrust hitting places inside of you that made your body tense of its own accord.

Tentacles wound around your hips, holding you steady as he continued bringing you up to-

You cried out, unable to do much more than writhe in his grip.

Fuck-

_ FUCK. _

That-

You were still shaking and he was still moving, letting you ride it out. Just when you felt you were finished-

“Ah!” you clung to him tightly as he sped up, his hand still teasing at your sex as he did so.

“Now, Reader…” his voice, while breathless, held a teasing quality to it that made a shiver run up your spine, “You didn’t specify  _ how many _ times I should make you come.~”

**_FUCK._ **

You couldn’t get out of his grasp and he could easily manipulate your body to his liking. He guided you, not letting you wriggle away from him, the tentacle inside you thrusting insistently.

Words were  _ not _ happening right now. All you could do was cry out, holding onto him for dear life as you came again… and again…

You didn’t think you could keep going but he was quickly proving to you that he knew _ exactly _ what to do to drag out the sensation, slowing down when it felt like too much and speeding back up just in time to throw you back over the brink again. You could see that, as he did so, colors lit up his skin.

You were shaking against him when he finally began to slow.

“Reader? Are you alright?” a hand came up, stroking your cheek gently.

You turned your head, nuzzling against the touch, “I-” you panted, trying to catch your breath, “I think so...”

He chuckled softly, kissing your forehead, “I imagine you’re ready to stop?”

You nodded, unable to articulate much more than that.

Slowly, he pulled the tentacle out of you. You shuddered at the sudden emptiness. Carefully, he laid beside you, “Do you need anything?”

“Water.” you managed to gasp, hoarse.

Fuckin hell at this rate you were going to need an IV drip to stay hydrated.

Like magic a glass was in your hand. You downed it instantly.

He chuckled, “Remember to breathe, Reader...”

You gasped, dropping your head back against him, “ _ Fuck.. _ .”

“Well, yes, that  _ is _ what you asked me to do.”

You snorted, “Oh my _ god. _ ”

A kiss was pressed to your cheek, “Was that alright?”

You looked at him like he was an idiot.

“Do you REALLY have to ask that?” you were still trying to BREATHE.

“Well, feedback  _ is _ appreciated. I  _ am _ a bit out of practice after all.”

“Could have fuckin’ fooled me.” you laughed, looking up at him.

Green stripes colored the face grinning down at you.

What a cocky asshole.

Leaning down, he kissed you softly, “You are exquisite.”

You returned the kiss, too wiped to counter his statement. He chuckled, nuzzling you, “Let’s get you cleaned up, hm?”

“Give me like… ten minutes.” you sighed, curling up against him, “I gotta recover.”

He laughed, a hand coming up to brush through your hair, “Alright.”

“I refused to believe that you didn’t fuck people to death. It  _ had _ to have been your trademark or something because good GOD.” you laughed.

Your body was cooling down, heart rate slowly going back to normal.

“I’m afraid not. I actually didn’t have as much interest then…” his tone sounded soft, introspective.

“Really?” you looked up at him in surprise.

“Yes…” he looked down at you, “Everything is more sensitive now… and...” he paused, his hand gently cupping your face, “there are things that matter more now than they did before...”

You reached up, cupping his hand and burying your face in it, embarrassed. He cradled you close in response.

"...you said you were out of practice…"

He nodded, kissing your forehead.

"How long?"

He glanced down at you, his skin going a pale pink, "Four and a half years more or less."

"If this is you rusty then I'm going to  _ die _ when you improve." You sighed, wrapping an arm around him.

"Nurufufufu~ I like to think that by then you'll have become more than accustomed to my methods."

You laughed, hiding your face in his chest, "I guess we'll see." With a content sigh you hugged him tighter, "I love you."

"And I, you, Reader."

God… you were so lucky.

So incredibly god damn lucky...


	105. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people! I recently did a prune on my server because there were a lot of inactive people. If you were kicked and would like to rejoining here's the invite! Please be sure to read the rules and introduce yourself in transfer students.  
> https://discord.gg/2sjbVbG

Later that night he led you upstairs. The upper hall was similar to the one in Japan, photos of the kids everywhere and you noticed…

“This one is cute...” you paused, looking at a photo of Aguri laughing and flashing a peace sign on the deck of Tokyo Skytree. 

“I thought so too,” he said softly.

You squeezed his hand, “I’m glad she’s here.”

“So am I...” when you looked, his smile was fond, gentle. 

The pair of you made your way to his room. The rustic look continued here but you noticed that the bed was still a futon. Admittedly with a lot more pillows. He slid under the blankets and reached out to you. You joined him, snuggling in close. A tendril reached out, flicking off the lights.

It was quiet, the sounds of waves distantly crashing on the beach a soft murmur in the room. You let your hand come to rest on his chest.

A brush of melancholy hit you, settling into your heart.

How many nights would you get like this?

The one person you’d found that cared for you, loved you this way…

Just your luck it was on a time limit...

You glanced up at him.

He cradled you close, nuzzling you gently, “Reader? Are you alright?”

“Yeah...” your voice cracked slightly.

Shit.

“That certainly doesn’t sound like you’re alright.” his tone bore worry.

“It’s… not really something fixable...” you said softly, your hand settling over his heart.

“March…?” he looked down at you quietly and you nodded.

“I’m sorry, it’s just... ” you sighed. When was the last time you’d talked about this? You weren’t sure you ever properly had talked about it with someone. Your family, your friends… they hadn’t known how to handle it.

A hand brushed your cheek gently and you took a cleansing breath.

“You remember… I said I was almost married.”

“Yes...”

“It wasn’t… good.” you curled against him slightly, “It was good, at first but it… just...” you sighed, “We were young and stupid. We didn’t know how to talk, we hurt each other, we...” you shifted slightly, "It… it took a lot of mistakes to get here. A lot of regrets and mistakes. And now…”

There was a soft sound and you found yourself held closer.

“I just… I know I  _ won’t _ meet anyone else like you.” you murmured against his shoulder, "Someone as kind as you."

“I’m sorry.” he whispered softly, “This was a feeling I wanted to spare you from...”

You laughed ruefully and shook your head, “If the trade-off is being loved by you… I’m okay. It’s just… after...”

He gave a small nod, kissing your head gently, “Please…”

You looked up at him.

“You are wonderful, Reader.” a tendril brushed your cheek, “And I would never want you to be lonely in my absence… be open to loving again...” he chuckled lightly, “I know I’m a very tough act to follow but you deserve to be loved by someone.”

That made you tear up, you buried your face in his shirt.

He cradled you close, "Someone as wonderful as you deserves all the love the world can offer."

You clung to him.

You didn't have the heart to disagree with him.

Even if you couldn't bring yourself to believe it.

"Now, enough of that." He spoke gently, tipping your head up, "We are still here. I'm not dead yet. And tonight…"

You managed a smile, "Tonight has been amazing."

He leaned in, kissing you long and slow, "And tomorrow will be too."

That…

That you did believe.

Curling up in his arms, you reached up, stroking his cheek as you drifted off to sleep.

Tonight was perfect.

A perfect night, when so much in your life hadn't been.

And it was all thanks to him…

You could only hope this calm continued for a while.

Over the course of the next few days, you got your wish. Things slowed down and relaxed a bit. Korosensei and yourself focused on a rough plan for Isogai's greenhouse while prepping lesson plans and preparing materials for the coming semester. The last couple of days he’d been crashing at your place between drill days, occasionally jetting off to tutor the kids, gather information for the next semester, or, as you found out, harassing would-be assassins.

You were tinkering with the review quiz, adjusting a few of the questions to be more challenging when you got the text.

[I’ll be a bit late to dinner I’m afraid. m(. .)m]

[Everything okay?]

[Oh, yes, everything is fine but I’m currently entertaining a new friend.]

[A new friend?]

You raised an eyebrow skeptically.

Another message came in with a photo of your idiot, clearly airborne, hauling a very alarmed looking man through the air. The guy had facial scars, askew glasses, thick angry eyebrows, and was currently mid yell. Your moron was, predictably, posing as if it were a casual selfie.

[Who is that? Did you abduct somebody?]

[Well, yes and no. He was looking for me after all.]

[Who is he?]

[An assassin, of course! Apparently goes by the moniker ‘Young Gun’. Tried to get the jump on me after my tutoring session with Muramatsu. Isn’t that adorable?]

Before you could respond another image came in. The guy was still struggling, clearly, but now his hair was done up in a barrette, eyebrows shaped, and he was sporting french tipped nails.

You bit your lip, trying not to laugh.

[So what are you uh… doing with him? Besides traumatizing him with a mid-air makeover?]

[Oh nothing terrible, I assure you. Simply took him sightseeing.~]

[Sightseeing...]

[Well, you know there’s no better way to see Japan than flying overhead at Mach 20!]

You laughed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

[And to think I WORRY about you.]

[As I’ve said before, you worry too much.]

[I don’t think you’ve ever said that to me.]

[It’s implied!]

What an idiot…

A darling idiot.

[Well, I hope you’re hungry when you get back. I’m making gyudon.]

[That sounds delightful! ♡]

You sat back, looking up at the ceiling for a moment.

That gave you a few more questions to throw at him but it also made you curious how things were going to go in the long run.

If this was a regular thing and he was dodging assassins on a daily basis without you really knowing then what chance did a bunch of preteens have at pulling this off?

Maybe all this worry would end up being a moot point.

Maybe he’d die and take the world out with him before anyone else could.

Morbid but… well… at least then you wouldn’t have to fret about what would happen afterwards…

Oof.

That was dark.

You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts, and got up to start dinner.

You had just finished up when you heard the door unlock and the soft familiar sound of his steps. Well...steps wasn't quite the right word.

Slither?

Crawl?

You could think about that later. Right now…

He was leaning into the kitchen doorway.

"Dinner smells  _ fantastic. _ " 

In a couple of steps you were at the door, your arms around him.

"Welcome home."

There was a slight shift to his hug accompanied by a soft hum of surprise. You looked up to see that he’d gone a pale pink.

"What is it?"

His reply was gentle as if he were pointing out a mistake, "You said welcome home."

It was a simple phrase but the weight his tone carried told you it meant something deeper to him…

"Yeah.. uh, sorry, would you rather I not?'

"Ah… no, no, it's fine! I simply…" he seemed at a loss for what to say but he sounded content, "It's fine."

You frowned, "What is it?"

He gestured to your surroundings, "I… well, I think of this as  _ your _ home…"

"It's yours too." You spoke before you thought but found that, for once, you weren't cursing your autopilot, "I did say you can come over as much as you want and I mean you already have a spare futon here…"

He was staring at you, still quite pink.

You shifted under his gaze. He said this was fine but…

"Is that oka-hey!" You yelped in surprise as you were swept up in a hug, your feet dangling off the floor.

He was holding you close, nuzzling you. You wrapped your arms around him, "Cuddle Fish?"

"Reader… I'm deeply touched." His voice was tender, "Home has always been a… nebulous concept for me. It's good to have one with someone."

You kissed him softly, "You will always have a home with me…"

He squeezed you just a bit tighter before sighing happily, "So… shall we eat?"

"Of course."

Before you could move, he'd plated the food and set the table.

"Hey!"

He chuckled, taking a seat, "What? It's the least I can do since you cooked!"

You made a big show out of huffing but took a seat with a smile.

"So… your new friend didn't hurt you?"

He grinned wickedly back at you, green stripes fading into view, "No, but I'm afraid I  _ might  _ have damaged his pride."

" _ Might _ , huh?” you laughed, “ _ Maybe? _ "

" _ Possibly. _ " He smirked, taking a bite of his food. His self-satisfied grin softened into fondness, "Dinner is delicious."

You felt your face heat up, "Thanks…" but you weren't going to let him distract you, “So, uh, how often does that happen exactly? With the assassination attempts?”

“Exactly? Hm….” he considered this before gesturing offhand, “Well, early in the year it was almost daily! Plenty haven given up by this point, however, so the numbers have decreased dramatically. Now I’m lucky to deal with four a week!”

“...four…  _ assassins? _ Or four  _ attempts? _ ” you stared at him, your chopsticks hanging halfway to your mouth in shock.

“Assassins, of course! Attempts, well… that varies. All assassins have their quirks and different approaches, after all. Most have back up plans for their first attempt falling through but many of them underestimate my abilities which means I do go through quite a bit of makeup. While dangerous in their own right, they don't hold a candle to yours truly. Those that manage to get close though are particularly fun. It’s quite exhilarating being a target!”

You'd argue it wasn't but that was a battle you knew you'd lose.

“...Okay but… if it’s happening so much why haven’t I seen it?”

“Simple!” he chuckled, “Most have realized by now that I won't let them anywhere near the children so they avoid the school. Instead, they tend to frequent my hangouts outside of work but I’ve been exceptionally careful to throw them off the scent when it comes to your apartment. Why do you think we go to mine as often as we do? A touch safer to divvy up the time.”

“That… still doesn’t explain how I haven’t seen it while we’re out or something...”

He chuckled and there was a slight rush of wind but he appeared to have barely moved, “Did you see that?”

You slowly shook your head.

“Exactly.” he smirked, green stripes circling his face, “I can make short work of your average run of the mill assassin relatively quickly. Why I handled two the day that I took you to Doutor, for instance. ”

“I’m sorry… you  _ what?” _

“Let’s see… there was one the day that we handled that awkward situation with Maehara... I handled two assassins while taking you to Doutor... three on the night of the nomikai…”

“THREE?”

Green stripes and a huge grin, “Of course. You didn’t think I was with the group the entire time, did you?”

You stared at him in shock.

How?

How the fuck?

“Wait… wait, so you’re telling me that there have been assassination attempts going on the entire time and you didn’t tell me?”

He chuckled, “Well, I  _ had _ thought you would assume that was the case...”

“I...” you shook your head, “I had no idea. And you’ve just been…  _ handling _ them?”

“Oh, I’m not killing them if that’s your concern, Reader. Those days are behind me now. No, no, I simply give them some hygienic maintenance, possibly a life lesson or two, and send them on their way.”

“So… what did you do with the guy from earlier?”

“Left him at Shibuya. Not to worry, he has plenty of fare to get home… or to his nest whichever he chooses.”

“Okay, okay but… hold on. Explain those assassins you handled you mentioned?”

“Nurufufufu~” he smirked, “Well, as you recall when we left Donki I stepped away for a moment...”

“Wait… when you went to get your umbrella?”

“Exactly.”

“You were gone for like… not even ten minutes...”

His green stripes just seemed to get brighter.

You sighed, “WAIT is that why you bolted after that whole thing with Maehara?!”

“...In part. I admit I was… ah-” he went pink, “I had… well, you looked lovely that day. I was tempted to say something to you and thought better of it...”

You could feel your face heat up, “What?”

“I was afraid I might say something that would give my feelings away.”

“Wait… is THAT why you ran off?”

“And in doing so,” he quickly guided the conversation back to the original topic, “I made contact with an assassin that tried to kill me.”

That…

That was adorable.

"And the nomikai?"

"Two on the way to karaoke and one after leaving."

You stared at him for a long moment, "That…"

His grin only widened, green stripes still standing out brightly, "Is impressive?"

"It's fucking  _ insane _ . How? How does no one notice?!?"

"Simple. If you were an assassin who was humiliated by your target would you take off in the streets telling anyone nearby? Of course not. That's  _ your _ bounty to claim. You can't risk someone else shooting for it, not to mention they often look ridiculous when I'm through with them."

You sat, processing this information.

"Do you think any of them have seen us?"

"Possibly, though assassins are quite solitary. Those taking aim for the prize will often not report in until the job is finished. Remember, it's open season on me,  _ anyone _ may try their hand. There's no registration required. And sharing intel is not in their interest if  _ they _ want to be the one to take me out "

Well…

Well fuck.

You'd doubt him but given his previous profession?

If anyone would know it would be him.

He smirked at you, green stripes back out in force.

“Okay, no need to gloat about it.” you laughed.

He just chuckled, turning his attention back to his food.

As unnerving as the news was… you were glad to know he had it in hand.

That evening, while curled on the couch watching a movie, he sighed, “Reader?”

“Hm?” you looked up from the handful of popcorn you were grabbing, “What is it?”

“I had hoped to put this off a bit...” he looked down at you, concern in his voice.

Shit.

What now?

“What?”

“Ah… I’ll be taking a brief sabbatical of sorts for a few days before the term begins.” he looked sheepish, “I should have told you sooner but I… well I’ve been a bit distracted...”

His hand ran over your hair softly.

Oh…

That… well, that wasn’t so bad…

“Oh… Okay so, what like…? How long? Another week like Everest?” you took his hand gently giving it a squeeze.

“Oh no, nothing as long as that.” he chuckled, “Three days should be more than enough.”

“What are you doing? More training?”

“No, ah...” he went pink, “Well, you see, I have homes around the world that require maintenance for the coming season change. I also have erm… side jobs.”

You raised an eyebrow, “...Side jobs?”

“Yes, such as at the festival. I have to supplement my income somehow after all. Snacks don’t pay for themselves.” he gestured.

“So you are moonlighting as a stripper then,” you smirked up at him.

He immediately protested, tentacles flailing, “Of course not! That would be WILDLY inappropriate!”

You laughed, “Oh like you’re not  _ already _ . I  _ know _ what magazines you keep in your desk.”

Neon pink.

“THEY’RE COLLECTOR’S ITEMS!!”

You just laughed harder. When you caught your breath you leaned up, kissing his cheek, “So, you’re going to go off and work before work starts back.”

“Exactly.”

“...hold on, how do you work in other countries anyway?”

“Hm? What do you mean?” he looked at you in surprise.

“Like… I mean, you know, taxes? Legal stuff?”

He chuckled, green stripes out in force, “I’ll be dead come March. What can they  _ possibly _ do to me?”

You snorted, “Ah yes, the Reaper, feared assassin, deadly… and even worse-” you looked up at him dramatically, “Guilty of tax evasion!”

“Is it truly evasion if I’m dead?”

“...valid point.” you sighed and leaned against him, “So when are you leaving then?”

“I was thinking tomorrow evening possibly?”

You nodded, “Okay...”

His tone was softer now, a touch of worry in it, “I am sorry, Reader… but absence makes the heart grow fonder.~”

Tipping your head up you smirked at him, “Just don’t forget your phone, okay?”

“Of course not.” he chuckled, nuzzling you, “How else would I stay in contact?”

You sighed, content, and squeezed his hand.

Three days wasn’t so bad…

Three days you could do.

Besides, you could give him a hard time over text which was always fun.

And you had been pretty much attached at the hip, a little breathing room wasn’t a terrible idea.

But for tonight, you were happy he was here.

The days went quickly and it was all too soon that he was kissing you at the balcony.

“Tell me when you get there?” you held his hands, worried.

Three days. That was doable. You’d dealt with longer before but…

Well…

Knowing about the assassination attempts and everything… your mind had been running a little wild the closer you got to him leaving.

He chuckled and swept you up into a hug, “I will, of course.”

“And you’ll TELL me if you run into assassins?”

He went a touch pink, “Ah… well...”

“I’ll worry more if you don’t.”

That was all it took to make him cave, “Alright, I will. I promise.”

A finger hooked your pinkie before you could prompt him. You kissed him softly, “Stay safe out there, okay?”

He chuckled, nuzzling you, “I have to. I can’t die until the 18th at least!”

You snorted, “You’re right or I’ll have to kick your ass myself.”

“Oooh!” he smirked, “Why, Reader, are you certain you don’t want a knife? I could absolutely supply you with one!”

You rolled your eyes, laughing, and made a show out of pushing him towards the door, “Go on you, the quicker you leave, the quicker you’re back!”

Leaning back in he gave you a grin, “Sick of me already?~”

Laughing, you kissed him, “Never.”

That made him go pink. He touched his forehead to yours gently, “I’ll be sure to let you know when I arrive… I love you.”

“I love you too, Cuddle Fish.”

And with that, he was gone.

You leaned on the doorframe for a moment, watching him rocket off into the starry evening sky.

When you turned back to your living room you lost your mind laughing.

The place was absolutely PAPERED with post its.

When had-

You sighed, shaking your head.

What an idiot.

_ Your  _ idiot.

You began the process of gathering up the post-its.

Every single one of them was a love note.

_ God _ you loved this idiot...

Without him the apartment seemed… empty. Lonely. You flipped on the television and pulled the blinds. Background noise for distraction, window covered so you’d stop looking for signs of him.

You knew he would be gone for a few days but your instincts were to check the balcony anyway.

Well, since you were up waiting for a message from him anyway… might as well get some finishing touches done on your plans for this semester…

You flipped through the files and your notes on the kids. There was still a lot to cover… especially with the addition of explosives. You wished that Karasuma had run that by you beforehand. It was going to bring in more intensive training for sure…

That was on top of the home life situations you still needed to address...

Going over your notes, you selected the next few kids to approach.

You had planned on addressing them at the next round of drills… 

But your phone buzzed with news.

An email from Karasuma that drills were canceled tomorrow…

What?

This man never canceled drills unless it was inclement weather. Hell, he’d pushed to do them even when he was still suffering after-effects of the poison from Okinawa…

The email was followed immediately by a notification in the 3-E chat.

That chat  _ without _ the octopus.

**Kaede Kayano:** I have an announcement to make! We're having a top-secret meeting at the schoolhouse tomorrow instead of drills.

You raised an eyebrow at that.

**Nagisa Shiota:** is it really top secret if you're announcing it in the chat?

**Kaede Kayano:** Top secret from Korosensei! No one tells the octopus. 

Okay then...

Another notification came in, this one from 🐙🎓.

[Arrived safely! I do hope you’re not despondent in my absence. (´ ε ` )]

[I’m devastated. Mostly because I just had to clear post-it notes off my couch.]

[I had to leave you with some loving reminders!]

[There were 200 on my couch a l o n e. (↼_↼) ]

[ \ (°〇°)ﾉ I’ll be gone for THREE DAYS!]

You laughed.

[It’s fine, I love you anyway.]

[♡]

You relaxed a little.

He was okay.

You flipped back to the kid’s chat and eyed the message there.

If it was something that the octopus wasn’t supposed to know about, it was definitely assassination-related…

With a sigh, you closed the chat.

You guessed you’d find out more about that tomorrow…

After Okinawa you were sure you were  _ more _ than prepared for whatever these kids cooked up...


	106. Pudding and Porcupines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ey folks hope this chapter finds you safe and sound! Enjoy!

You were wrong.

Completely, utterly, totally wrong.

You were NOT prepared for what you were presented with the next day.

Not in the slightest.

It had all started simply enough. You got ready, you caught the train to the station closest to the school. The hike to the top was calm and quiet. Summer heat was still clinging to nature, insect calls still echoing through the trees. It was perfectly normal...

Until you reached the schoolyard.

You noticed tire tracks in the lawn that led around the side of the building.

Odd given your location on the mountain but not too strange.

Curious, you made your way around to the back of the building.

And that’s when things took a hard left turn into what-the-fuck land.

The first note of weirdness was the giant tarp-covered  _ thing _ surrounded by machinery.

The second note was the collected ministry workers organizing pallets of supplies. You spotted Ukai, Tsuruta, and Sonokawa amongst their numbers. Sonokawa was still sporting her cast but aside from that she and the others looked none the worse for wear since the excitement on Okinawa.

Your attention from them was diverted to the palettes of supplies. The fact that a large portion of them seemed to be eggs turned this whole thing into a rising crescendo of fuckery.

You made your way inside. With the ministry here, this had to be an assassination plot. But what the hell sort of plot required… whatever the fuck that was out there? The students were already in the classroom, Karasuma spotted you as you entered the building and waved for you to follow. Irina joined you. 

When you reached the classroom, Kayano presented you with the answer to your question. The piece de resistance of weird.

She was standing at the podium, a notebook in hand, chipper as always.

“I've gathered you all here today, even though we're still on break, for a very important reason:” she held up a finger, “Our nation's current egg surplus crisis! Poultry farmers across the land are throwing out their excess in bulk!”

“Right. I heard about that on the news. What a waste.” Isogai sighed.

You felt a small twinge at his response. Given the state of his home life and finances, you imagined that the scale of waste was frustrating to see.

“Right?!” the girl nodded, “So I came up with a plan to salvage those discarded eggs and assassinate Korosensei!”

Wha…

What?

“Uh...” Sugaya exchanged glances with his classmates.

“We’re going to assassinate him… with eggs?” Nakamura lifted her head from her hand, the announcement drawing her out of her usual amused boredom. 

There was a scoff from the back of the classroom.

Terasaka.

“What? You gonna make an omelet?” he tossed and caught a few of the anti-sensei bbs in one hand, “Are you going to mix THESE into this plot you're hatching? He'll see it coming from a mile away.”

Kayano smirked and there was something about her tone, her demeanor, that reminded you immediately of Korosensei.

“I gave it a little more thought than that. The first steps are already in place thanks to Mr. Karasuma.”

“Yes, everything's all set up in the yard-”

Kayano cut him off with a call to arms, “Everyone! To the yard!”

The kids rose, confused but excited all the same, and began to file past you out the door. You cast a glance to Karasuma.

He gave a slight smile. One that almost reached his eyes.

On some level, he found this hilarious.

“What the hell is all this about eggs?” Irina raised an eyebrow at him.

“Honestly. These kids come up with the craziest things.” he shook his head, “Come on, I’ll let the mastermind explain it. She’s been practicing this presentation all morning.”

That…

That implied he’d been here all morning to see it.

That… was really adorable.

Irina huffed and the two of you followed him out to the schoolyard.

The track was covered in trucks, palets, canisters, and the ominous-looking orange tarp-covered… thing in the center. The students were clustered around it, curious.

Okuda was looking up at the thing speculatively, “This mold... and those eggs…” a dawning realization crossed her face, “Don't tell me... Are we making...?”

Kayano grinned, turning to face her classmates “Yep! It's exactly what you think. We are going to whip up a ginormous pudding! I give you Operation Pudding Popper!”

Okay…

You made a note to yourself.

_ Never think you know what this classroom is capable of. _

A giant.

Goddamn.

Pudding.

And the worst part was-

Given your idiot?

This wasn’t a half-bad approach.

“Operation Pudding Popper, huh? Well, Korosensei does have a pretty serious sweet tooth.” Nagisa said, looking up at the tarp-covered monstrosity.

Kayano pointed at him dramatically, “Exactly! I know for a fact that a giant pudding is a dream of his, we talked about it during lunch break the other day!” she was really fired up at this point, “He said, and I quote, "What I wouldn't give to gorge myself on a mountain of pudding. Too bad I don't have the funds to make that happen." So, let's make that crazy dream a reality! Saving some for ourselves, of course.” she gestured, “The idea is to plant bombs and anti-sensei BBs into the giant pudding's base. When he eats his way to the bottom, we detonate.”

“This is starting to sound like it’s worth a shot.” Isogai’s voice was full of positive enthusiasm.

Okajima nodded, “I'm with you on that. Korosensei loses his marbles when it comes to anything sweet almost as much as he does over porn.”

Takebayashi adjusted his glasses, looking over at Kayano, “And so far Kayano has only taken a supporting role during assassinations so her taking the lead this time will blindside him. We'll have the element of surprise.”

Kayano gave a happy smirk in acknowledgment.

“But how are we supposed to keep this secret until it’s ready?” Nagisa’s brow knit into a line of worry.

Kayano smirked, “Didn’t you see his announcement in the Target On chat this morning? He’s going to be out of the country for the next three days. Plenty of time for us to rig up our pudding plot!”

“Okay! Alright then.” Isogai called out, “Let's take advantage of the next three days and make ourselves a giant pudding!” 

The kids broke into cheers.

You exchanged glances with Karasuma and Irina.

Their expressions were a mixture of amused and exasperated.

Then something occurred to you.

“Wait...” you looked at Karasuma, “They ministry will pay for _ this _ but not for a new ROOF?!”

“A new roof isn’t going to kill him.” Karasuma’s response was dry.

You opened your mouth to respond then decided that arguing the point would be… well... Pointless.

“Hey, Doc!” you looked over just in time to catch an apron being flung your direction by Sugaya, “Give us a hand?”

You paused and looked over at Karasuma and Irina. Irina immediately shook her head, “Don’t look at me, do I look like I’m dressed for a cooking class?”

“This is the kid’s show, I’m just supervising.” Karasuma’s tone had a running thread of amusement in it.

He really was getting a kick out of this.

You turned back to Sugaya, “Alright. Where do you need me?”

This?

This was  _ definitely _ not in your job description.

When everyone was suitably prepped for this eccentric home ec project with their bandanas and aprons, you gathered at the base of the orange tarped mold. With the help of some ministry workers, Kayano pulled loose the tarps to reveal probably one of the most ridiculous things you’d seen in Japan. It was a giant pudding mold alright. You craned your head back to look up at it. The damn thing had to be at least as tall as a telephone pole.

This had to have been specially commissioned.

There was no way the ministry just HAD one of these.

And yet a roof repair was too much.

Fuckin’ Christ.

Kayano spoke, staring up with confidence at the device, “I asked a mayonnaise factory whose production line was suspended to mix up the eggs for me. But with cooperation from the government, we'll be doing the rest of the cooking with our own manpower!”

She waved her hand to a variety of tubs that were basically the size of small swimming pools, “We’ll be adding in sugar and milk. Plus some vanilla extract to give it flavor. Now,” she clapped her hands together and gestured, “We’re going to have four groups, now it’s crucial that you keep to the recipes I’ve provided. We need to use the exact measurements for each group. I’ll be checking and assisting. Mx. Reader,” she offered you a clipboard, “I need you to help me keep track of ingredients and recipes. You’re my backup if you will.”

You accepted the clipboard, looking over it. The class was divied up into four groups.

_ Group 1: Base Layer _

_ Terasaka, Yoshida, Muramatsu, Takebayashi, Hazama, Kimura _

_ Group 2: Second Layer _

_ Isogai, Maehara, Okano, Yada, Kataoka, Kurahashi, Sugaya _

_ Group 3: Third Layer _

_ Mimura, Okajima, Chiba, Hayami, Fuwa, Nakamura _

_ Group 4: Top Layer _

_ Nagisa, Karma, Okuda, Kanzaki, Sugino, Hara _

Attached to each was the required recipe with measurements in liters. The sheer amount of eggs, milk, and sugar was mind-boggling.

“Ritsu is going to be helping each group track as well.” she nodded, “So there shouldn’t be any mix-ups.”

The kids fell in with a will, grouping at their stations. Each group had a ministry worker assisting with the egg measurement as the premixed eggs were currently in refrigerated trucks and had to be transferred via a hose.

All of this…

For pudding.

You sighed and set to work keeping track of the ingredient palettes.

As you were taking note of the number of liters of vanilla extract group four needed, you overheard Hinano talking.

“Hey, Kaede. I saw them try to make a giant pudding on TV once, and it didn't work. It weighed too much. Totally collapsed. Just sayin'.”

You looked over. She and Okano were currently stirring the pudding mixture while Sugaya poured in a large bag of sugar.

Kayano smiled, her playbook clasped in her arms. She stood with all the demeanor of a CEO about to address employees.

Hilarious given her pink bandana and apron.

“That thought occurred to me, which is why we're using kanten, gelatin, and agar” she hefted a small bag up of agar, displaying it, “It’s not common for pudding but it has a significantly higher melting point than gelatin, making it perfect for keeping our pudding firm in the September heat.”

Sugaya looked over at her, “Whoa, seriously?”

“Isn't that what was used in those raindrop cakes that were really popular a couple of years ago?” you called over.

You hadn’t gotten a chance to try said cakes but they had looked really interesting…

“Yeah!” Kayano perked up, “It’s also used in yokan, coffee jelly, anmitsu… it’s a good firm gelling component in a lot of sweets!”

“I thought kanten and agar were the same thing though?” you frowned slightly. You hadn’t experimented with this stuff in the kitchen before but you had been tempted and if you planned on trying it some time, it’d be a good idea to know…

“Not exactly. They’re both seaweed-based gel agents but they’re made from different species of seaweed. Agar is clearer and softer and kanten is whitish and firmer.”

“So, why do we need to use both types?” Sugaya asked, hoisting up another bag of sugar.

Kayano grinned, “Because of what Hinano pointed out! We'll increase the ratio of cream with each batch as we go up, maintaining firmness in the load-bearing layers and making sure the top stays light and smooth. Kanten for the lower layers and agar for the upper layers. See?”

“Ohhhhh… man you really thought this through huh?”

She smirked, “Of course! It’s my big shot at the reward, right? Might as well make it a good one! Oh! Hey, I almost forgot!” she ran over to one of the trucks, talking excitedly with a ministry worker who helped her with distributing handcarts full of…

What the hell were those?

They looked like jelly cubes? Sort of?

“Make sure you’re tossing these in as you go!” she chirped, gesturing.

Megu paused, looking in at the cubes in the cart, “What… are they?”

“Bursts of flavor! These are fruit sauces and mousses wrapped in oblaat.”

“...Oblaat?” you paused, what the fuck was that?

Kayano nodded, "Yeah! Have you ever had Botan Rice Candy?"

"Those little red and green boxes with the like... dooooog on the side?"

"Yes!" Kayano nodded enthusiastically, "You know how there's that thin sheet of paper inside the plastic wrapped around the candy?"

"Yeah?"

She hefted a package of flavoring, "Same thing! It's made from rice starch, it keeps candy from sticking to wrappers and, here, we're using it for flavor bombs! Vanilla is scrumptious and all, but think about it, wouldn't you get sick of the same taste bite after bite in something so large? Sure you would! These fruit sauces and mousses will melt inside creating different flavors throughout the pudding!”

You had to hand it to her, this kid had thought of everything.

Mixing took a good portion of the morning. Once you were sure the recipes were followed correctly you lent your hands to the work as well, taking over when one of the kids tired. Lunch breaks were quick affairs taken between batch pourings.

You never thought you’d see a pudding that required a crane to pour into a mold but here you were.

By the time the sun was beginning to drop the last batch was poured and the classroom cheered.

It had all gone quite well, minus an incident with a crane hook falling into a batch and Terasaka accidentally soaking your front with vanilla extract, that is.

Kayano, meanwhile, was all business, “Okay, that's great. Once the mold's full, drop the lid on and let the whole thing chill. This isn't just any old pudding mold, either. The outer walls are fitted with pipes that have coolant circulating through them. Pretty neat, huh? A pudding with this much volume needs to be chilled through. We're talkin’ inside and out.”

There were exclamations of awe from the class.

You had to admit the amount of thought put into this was impressive.

The octopus would be proud.

“So, that means we’re done for the day then?” Nakamura asked, looking over to Kayano.

The girl nodded, “Now we play the waiting game. Tomorrow we’ll see if everything holds up.”

The class began to disperse. Containers were hosed down, utensils put away, and soon most of the kids had made their way inside to change. You took a moment, leaning against the door frame, looking at the giant mold gleaming in the light of the setting sun.

What a year this was…

The mastermind behind this pudding plot sat at the top of the steps leading down to the playing field, regarding her work. Karma made his way over to her, “Nice work, Kayano. You really thought all this up after you saw the news about the eggs?”

“Sorta!” she chirped, but then her tone gentled into something more sincere, “Actually, I’ve wanted to try and do this for a while now. And since the Ministry of Defense was willing to shell out the money, I figured why not go for it?”

Maybe next she could want to fix the roof.

She turned to Karma with a smile but when she spoke there was a measure of self-reflection in her voice, as though she was realizing something for the first time, “When my mind’s fixed on something, I just keep rolling… I guess.”

You looked up at the pudding mold in the background.

That was the understatement of the year.

“Never thought we’d be cooking on the job.” you paused, looking for the source of the familiar voice.

It was Ukai. He was beaming at Sonokawa like a lovestruck puppy. She, meanwhile, was standing staring at the pudding mold as if it were a particularly annoying stack of forms to fill out.

“I didn’t either.” she replied, “Let’s just hope this one works.”

Ukai’s face fell slightly, “Yeah...”

Poor dude.

Was it like some ministry requirement that you have your sense of humor removed before joining?

No… Karasuma had a sense of humor. He was just really fucking good at hiding it.

You pursed your lips in thought for a moment, regarding them.

They were like… a more well adjusted, gender swapped Irina and Karasuma. Him trailing after her, her stoicism, etc.

That reminded you…

You headed inside and made your way to the faculty lounge. You’d been meaning to check in with Karasuma about his recovery from the gas on Okinawa. You hadn’t been seeing tremors as much but still…

Sliding open the faculty door revealed something you weren’t expecting.

Karasuma was standing, arms braced on the wall, glaring down at a surprised Irina who he had pinned there.

Wha-

They looked up as you opened the door and for a long awkward moment just stared at one another. Then, abruptly, Karasuma straightened and adjusted his tie, moving to walk past you. He glanced back at Irina, “Think about what I said.”

And then he was gone.

“Um...” you looked over at her, “Everything okay…?”

“It’s fine.” Irina’s voice was sharp with an edge that you hadn’t quite heard from her before-

“Wait, Irina...” you made your way over to her, “What’s going on? Did he hurt you-”

And then you saw something you never expected to see.

“Are you crying?”

She reeled back a bit from you, turning to look out the window so that you couldn’t see her face. Her voice was back to its usual sarcasm, “What? You never seen a girl put on the waterworks before to get what she wants?”

She looked back over to you with a smirk but…

Something about it was off.

“What was that about?”

“Nothing,” she waved a hand dismissively, “Just Karasuma being Karasuma.”

“That… didn’t look like his usual-”

“What can I say?” she chuckled, shrugging, “I know how to push a man’s buttons. Anyway, I’m out. See you tomorrow.”

And just like that, she was gone.

You were left alone in the faculty room, frowning.

What the  _ hell _ was going on with those two?

You were too exhausted to question it further.

“Mx. Reader!” Kayano leaned her head into the office, “Tomorrow we have caramel sauce to do, it’s going to be a bit more… challenging. So I’ve got pamphlets I’m handing out about it. That way everyone knows what to be on the lookout for.”

She offered you a pamphlet.

“The Perfect Caramel Sauce: A Journey” you chuckled, looking up at her, “I’ll check it out tonight.”

“Great!” she chirped, “Be ready bright and early! We’ve got sauce to cook!”

With that she scampered off to get her things, leaving you alone in the lounge.

Giant pudding and large scale caramel cooking...

What the hell sort of year was this?

That evening you damn near fell asleep on the train home. You were exhausted. The hauling ingredients, stirring, and washing up had really taken a toll on you. One hot shower and long tub soak later you felt moderately better.

And smelled significantly less like vanilla.

Dinner was a quick and simple premade pack of ramen.

You laid out your futon and collapsed onto it.

God, it was good to be horizontal.

For the first time today, you looked at your phone.

Oof…

That was a lot of messages.

You’d been so busy today you hadn’t even thought to check it...

When you opened them you were surprised to see photos.

A lot of selfies of your idiot in different locations, dressed in ridiculous outfits and disguises. Complete with stupid puns. You snorted.

Him in front of Big Ben with the message  _ “Ben missing you!” _

The Taj Mahal with _ “Sending you all of Mahal love!” _

_ “I ver-sigh without you.” _ on the palace of Versailles.

Perched on top of the Louvre.  _ “I louvre you.” _

_ “This distance feels like a Great Wall between us.” _ he was sitting on one of the many guard towers.

A flyby selfie of the Eiffel tower  _ “I hope this isn’t st-eiffiling you!” _

And so, so many more.

You laughed. What a fucking nerd.

You tapped out a message back.

[Some of those were a real stretch.  (￣ ￣|||) ]

[I was improvising!  ヽ(ﾟДﾟ; )ﾉ ]

[♡ Don’t worry, I still love them. ♡]

[You were rather quiet today. Should I be concerned?]

You shook your head, chuckling.

[What? Worried I’m going to run off with Karasuma?]

[WELL I WASN’T BEFORE]

You laughed.

[Nah, it was just busy today BUT speaking of Karasuma...]

[ ( ಠ ಠ ) ]

[I walked in on him and Irina looking really tense. Think they might have had a fight.]

[Really now? Well, that just won’t do. Can’t have the lovebirds broken up this early!]

[Let me guess, you want me to keep an eye on it?]

[...]

[And possibly sneak some information out of them?]

[...I love you. You know me so well.]

You snorted.

[I’ll keep an ear to the ground, don’t know if I’ll get anything out of them though. How are you holding up?]

[Lonely. The children’s chat has been quiet and you weren’t responsive.（; _ ;）]

[Sorry, it was a hectic day. Miss you though.]

[♡ Miss you too.]

[So, how's the trip so far?]

[It’s been lovely and quite calm.]

[Nothing unexpected happening?]

[I imagine that’s your not-so-subtle way of asking if I’ve run into any assassins?]

[ ┐(￣ー￣)┌ Maybe.]

[It has been completely quiet on that front, I assure you.]

[What have you been doing exactly anyway?]

[Well, today was spent weatherproofing and taking care of odds and ends. Only one sizable issue thankfully.]

[...Thought you said it was calm.]

[It is! One of my houses merely sustained some damage from a falling tree which means it took a touch longer for maintenance.]

[I’m going to hate you after I ask this but, how long was ‘a touch longer’?]

[Oh, around 20 seconds. Partly because I didn’t account for the porcupines.]

[I’m sorry, the WHAT?]

[Yes! A mated pair actually. They were still living in the tree so I had to take extra care with their relocation.]

You stared at your phone for a long moment.

[Wait, they live in trees?]

[Yes! This particular species  _ coendou prehensilis _ are especially known for it! ]

The next half hour was essentially a lecture on various wildlife around the globe that he had encountered told via text. It was fascinating but you were so worn out from the day’s events that you ended up drifting off while reading about the vast differences between the Erethizontidae and Hystricidae families of porcupines.

The resulting dreams featured porcupines making pudding.

Your life had finally gotten as weird as your dreams were.


	107. Call Me Maybe (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not dead I swear!

Hm…

You were awake.

You didn't know what had woken you but you were definitely awake.

You looked at the phone still clasped in your hand.

Midnight.

That's when you noticed the last few messages from the octopus.

[...you’ve been awfully quiet.]

[I assume you’ve fallen asleep. Rest well, Reader.]

[ ♡ ]

With a sigh, you sat up and fired a message back.

[Sorry, Cuddle Fish. I was exhausted. Love you.]

You rolled over with every intention of going back to sleep when another notification popped up. Reaching out, you grabbed the phone, squinting against the glare.

[Can't sleep without me?~ ( ꈍᴗꈍ) ]

You snorted.

[Nah, your lecture just put me to sleep.]

[What?! But you seemed interested!]

You could practically hear the panic...

[I was. I was also tired.]

You stretched, yawning. The veil of sleep had been pulled from you and it left you awake now and restless.

[Should I let you get back to sleep then?]

[No, it's okay. I can talk for a while.]

[I'm glad. It's been quiet.]

Quiet…?

Wait...

[Oh… I guess you're not really sleeping huh?]

[(-_-;)]

[So, sounds like it's you that can't sleep without me.]

[...]

After a moment another text came through.

[You're just so comfortable…]

You pressed your lips together, suppressing a smile. That was adorable...

[Sounds like you might miss me~]

[All the time.]

You laughed, burying your face in your pillow, embarrassed.

[If you miss me now you're really going to miss me in a minute...]

[?]

You stretched out, angling your camera to get a good shot, making sure to showcase that all you were wearing was an oversized t-shirt.

You attached the file...

The multiple incoherent key smashes you got in response were worth it.

[Reader!]

[Yeah?]

There was a long pause and for a moment you worried you'd gone too far.

Then you got spammed with hearts.

Well then...

Looks like you had a new way to break the octopus...

That was all the motivation  _ you _ needed.

You tugged the shirt up, showing off a bit of your sex and took another photo. You sent this with a simple caption:

[So... How ~much~ do you miss me?]

An image came in response, him burying his face into pillows and waving a small white flag.

Oh, as if you'd accept his surrender.

This time you took a video, one hand trailing down to tease at your sex for a moment, softly moaning as you did so

[READER!]

[Something wrong, Cuddle Fish?]

[ ( ><) ]

Getting up, you made your way to the kitchen. Time to really torture him...

You pulled out a popsicle, unwrapping it, and took a few suggestive images as you sucked on it.

[Reader that is not fair!]

[You did say absence makes the heart grow fonder...]

A video attachment came through. The camera was trained down where you could see some pearlescent tentacles squirming against one another below his half-open robe. His breath was faltering as he spoke, "That isn't all it makes grow..."

You covered your face for a moment, grinning.

That was hot and also adorable and just-

God, you loved teasing him like this...

You took another video, smirking, "Too bad you're so far away... I'd love to taste those..." 

Followed by a long pull on the popsicle in your hand.

You got a keysmash and a blurred photo in response.

[You okay?]

And suddenly a video call was coming in.

You answered it.

A very sheepish, half-dressed octopus was looking back at you, "...I dropped my phone."

Oh my god.

First a spatula and now this.

You laughed a little, setting your phone up so you could both see one another better. Smirking, you leaned on the counter, finishing the popsicle in long, slow licks.

He shifted, deep pink and watching with rapt attention. Occasionally making a strained whine. You smirked as you swallowed the last bit, giving a satisfied hum.

He looked like he was dying of embarrassment.

"What is it, Cuddle Fish? Cat got your tongue?" You leaned on the counter looking at the screen.

He was flushed a deep pink, his breathing a bit labored-

It was then you noticed motion from a few of his tentacles.

There was a barely contained moan from his end and you smiled at him, "Mmmm sounds like someone is having a good time ..."

He froze. 

Neon pink and shamefaced, he adjusted his posture, "Ah-

"I didn't say you had to stop..." Not being right there with him made this so much easier, "I'd love it if you kept going…~"

He whined softly but his tentacles began moving again, moving up just a bit to be more in frame.

"Ohhhh... You look amazing." The words came out in a murmured breath as your eyes roamed over his form.

His robes half-open, deep pink, panting slightly. The way his tentacles writhed against one another accompanied by the gasps of delight…

God…

"I am  _ so _ lucky." God… you wished he was here.

He squirmed at the compliment, "Oh, Reader..."

One tentacle wrapped tightly around the other, pulsing and squeezing as it moved. He shuddered and gasped, looking up at you.

"All this from a little touching and a popsicle?" You smirked, "You really do got it bad, huh?"

His expression soured for a moment and then his grin was back in place.

"Says the person that was begging me yesterday night?~" he chuckled.

Heat sank into your stomach and you shuddered at his tone, "You seemed to enjoy it "

He tensed just a touch, shivering, "I  _ loved _ it."

You both paused, staring at one another. The rawness of his words had opened a door. A door that seemed to panic him a bit.

He was immediately flustered, "Ah- well, I-"

Ohhh no. You weren't letting him backpedal now.

You smirked, leaning in, "You loved making me come as many times as you wanted?~"

He gasped, shuddering, " _ Reader.. _ ."

His grip on those pearlescent appendages tightened with your words.

Fuck yes.

"You liked me begging for you?"

He whined, his body tensing, mouth parting in gasping pants.

You leaned in a bit closer, looking directly at the camera, "Maybe next time I'll beg to suck you off."

He cried out, the tentacles pace quickening.

God, you loved the way that affected him.

You reached down, touching yourself offscreen, "I loved it too." You admitted, "Begging, the way you handled me, the way you kept going..."

He faltered, hesitation in his motions. You expected his usual cocky demeanor but what you got was a soft concern.

"It wasn't too much for you?" his tone and expression were laced with worry, “I was worried that I didn’t establish a stopping poin-”

You cut him off with a moan

"It was  _ fantastic _ ." you leaned further on the counter, stroking at your sex in earnest now, "Almost as good as watching you come with my hand in you…"

He shuddered, "Th-that was… astounding." 

"You're telling me." You smirked, "I would have done that all night if- if you-" you shivered, unable to hold back the moan that image drew out of you. 

His eyes widened for a moment and then the cocky expression was back, "Now, Reader, are you really going to deny me a show? After all of this?"

You laughed, reluctantly pausing with a sigh, and picked up the phone, making your way to the bedroom, "Of  _ course _ not."

In the bedroom you propped the phone up on a table and sat back, making sure he could see. It was like the night with the vanity all over again but blessedly less overwhelming.

"Ohhhh Reader..." His voice was almost a whisper, "I wish I was there."

"I mean... You could be...~" you smirked at him.

"I could... But I can't say that I'd get back to the task at hand if I took that particular detour."

You moaned, your hand stroking yourself, "That's too bad…" you paused with a dramatic sigh, "But I guess I can get help from my  _ other _ boyfriend..."

His motions stopped and his tentacles flailed in surprise, "WHAT?!"

You laughed and got up, rummaging around in the closet for your box of toys. There was a flustered rant of questions about what sort of boyfriend you  _ meant _ exactly emanating from your phone.

Leaning back into view, you held up your now infamous tentacle toy.

You had  _ never _ seen the octopus shut up so fast.

“Oh, you’ve  _ already _ met,” you smirked, running your fingers along it idly.

Deep magenta.

"Jealous?" You continued teasingly running your fingers along it, "I suppose you should be, after all, he does have some advantages you don't. It might give him an edge over you…"

He gasped in offense, "There is no way that thing is better than me!"

"I don't knoooow… this one doesn't get distracted by Irina." You teased, running your fingers gently across the tip.

He huffed, "If it's so much better then perhaps you should prove it."

Despite his annoyance, you couldn't help but notice how his eyes followed your fingers' every motion…

Cute.

You paused, considering, "I  _ could _ do that… but you might get too jealous."

He hesitated, looking just a hint concerned. Almost worried.

You smirked, "But I guess I  _ could _ show him off to you. Maybe you'd learn a thing or two."

There was the barest hint of relief in his voice, "I doubt there's anything that  _ thing _ could teach me."

You laughed and sat up a bit, making sure your phone was angled properly.

"You might be surprised…"

There was a visible shudder from him at your words.

That gave you a little thrill.

He might be your idiot but he was also the most powerful being on the planet.

And you had him shivering with just your voice…

You turned your attention to the toy in front of you and that thrill was replaced by nerves. Was this something you were really going to do? You felt self-conscious, exposed, even more so  _ without _ him there...somehow.

"Reader... Are you alright?" His tone was filled with concern.

"Yeah, I just uh... I haven't really done this sort of thing much before..." Your hands shook slightly, "Not like... You know..." You gestured to the phone.

There was a sigh of relief on his end.

"That makes two of us." He confessed.

You relaxed just a touch. That was comforting to hear.

The gentle tone he used when you were anxious emerged, tempered with teasing, "Would  _ guidance _ help?"

Ohhhhh god?

You felt your face heat up drastically, "Uh... Maybe? I'm not sure."

There was a touch of worry in his voice, "Do you want to stop?"

"Hell no." You laughed, "It's jitters. I'm just feeling a little self-conscious."

"Then perhaps..." His voice dipped lower in a way that made your sex twitch in anticipation, " _ I  _ should give you a  _ distraction _ ..."

You watched as tendrils reached up, carefully loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Ohhhh…

You couldn't help but stare.

He sat back, pale pink, shirt open, and tie hanging loose. 

Man… that was…

"You look really hot when you're disheveled." 

Fuck.

Fuck autopilot.

He went a deeper pink, his voice soft, "So do you."

You were going to die.

"Now... Reader...."

You shivered at his tone, watching as a pearlescent tentacle came into view. Instead of another tentacle this time he wrapped his hand around the appendage, slowly stroking it.

"You were going to prove something to me...~"

Nervous laughter bubbled up. Settling the toy in front of you, you made a show of gliding your fingers along it. His attention was laser-focused on your hands which somehow made this easier. You added a generous amount of lube, making sure the tentacle was slick. You could see his breath hitch and you noticed his motions slowed to match yours.

When the toy was slick you sat up a bit more, allowing the tip to brush your entrance. You ground yourself down on it, not trying to put it in but for the moment just enjoying the tantalizing promise of what was to come. As you did so you stroked your sex in tandem.

He moaned softly, watching.

"I..." You gasped, rocking down a touch harder, "You see it's..."

You couldn't even  _ playfully _ come up with reasons why the toy was better.

"Mmmhmmm?"

"Well, it's easier to control." You joked, still teasing yourself, "after all, it does whatever I make it do..."

"True..." He murmured, "but it doesn't seem to be as  _ flexible _ as I am..."

You whined, rocking down in earnest so that the tip began to sink into you, "True..."

"Or as... Adaptable." He demonstrated by changing the shape of the tentacle in his hand. 

"You know..." You laughed a bit, still rocking back on the toy, "Some might say being able to shapeshift it into a dick is boring..."

Deeper pink, he faltered, "That's not all I can do!"

You smirked, "I know Cuddle Fish.  _ Definitely _ a point in your favor..." You shivered as you slid the toy a little further in, "and for the record, I  _ don't _ think it's boring."

His motions stilled for a moment, "You don't?"

Moaning, you rode down on the toy, "O-of course not..." you kept your pace careful, too fast and things would get uncomfortable quick, "I think it's hot."

He shifted a bit. There was something to his expression that gave you pause.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." He said softly, "Just... Surprised."

"Why? It's not like I'm tentacle exclusive." You chuckled, still teasing at your sex slowly.

"It's... Let's just say your reaction was not expected..." The words were soft, measured, as though he was careful not to say too much.

"What?" You paused, staring at him.

"I had a few experiences where lovers were... Less than pleased with it." His tone was reserved.

You shook your head, "They must have been crazy because that thing is fucking  _ amazing _ ." A small flustered yelp came from his end and you smiled, "I love it. I love you.  _ All _ of you."

"Reader..." He sounded genuinely touched.

You bore down on the toy under you shuddering, "You're all I think about when I use this thing. T-there’s so much that I just..." you moaned rocking your hips, letting the toy work into you, "You have already just... Blown  _ all _ of my fantasies out of the water."

You could see him picking up the pace, the head of the cock in his hand peeking out with each stroke.

"Is that so?" His breathlessness betrayed his attempt at collected calm.

You moaned, sinking down further on the toy, stroking your sex in earnest now, "I knew you'd be good at it but..." You shuddered, your mind summoning up images of the last time you were together, " _ Fuck _ , you are better than I ever could have  _ imagined _ ."

You expected him to get cocky, to rub it in, but when you looked at the screen he was utterly entranced by you.

"When I get back..." He moaned, his breath hitching as he spoke, "I want to  _ taste _ you again."

Ha 

_ Oh _

Wow uh...

He was staring at the camera, pink, flushed, sweat standing out on his brow, "I  _ love _ the way you taste..."

You dropped your head down, unable to deal. That was too much to handle.

A low, tender sound came from him, the tension in it rippling through you.

"I love how you  _ feel _ when I'm holding you steady." He breathed, "The way you  _ move _ when I'm inside you.."

You whined, pushing the toy in deeper with a shudder. Riding it in deep thrusts as you touched yourself.

And now the green stripes were back. He was smirking up at you, watching hungrily, "I'm certain that  _ plaything _ can't measure up to my techniques."

Ohhh god…

You were rocking down hard on the toy now, feeling it plunge into you. Not as good as him, of course. A faint echo of what he could do.

You gasped, shivering, "N-no. Nothing does."

"The moment we're alone again...", His voice had an edge to it, "I promise I'll  _ thoroughly remind _ you of that."

_ Fuck! _

You cried out, your body arching and eyes closing at the thought of that promise. Everything was quaking and with each delightful shiver you sped up your motions. 

You could hear him, his voice tender, gentle, "That's it, Reader… now, keep going ~"

You whined but kept teasing at yourself. When you looked up you saw him tense and writhe, his body shaking and flickering with color.

"You are so beautiful…" you gasped, shivering as a shockwave flowed through you.

He moaned, still twitching, "Reader…"

You dropped your head forward, "Korosensei…"

There was another strangled sound from his end. You cast him a glance. Colors crossing his skin, body shuddering…

He was  _ amazing _ .

"I love you…"

He was slowing, looking up at you, "I love you too…

Carefully, you slid off the toy you had buried in you and collapsed on your blankets, trying to recover.

He seemed to be in a similar state. His clothing was open, revealing his front. His eyes were closed and he was catching his breath.

"... I miss you." You said it without thinking.

God... How clingy did you sound? It had only been a day…

He looked up at the phone, his expression softening, "I miss you too. I'll be back soon."

"I know it's just... It's really nice having you in bed next to me."

Pale, fond pink.

"I feel the same."

You sat up a bit, taking your phone and laying back down with it. He was slowly, it seemed, coming down from the high and becoming self-conscious. He fussily buttoned his shirt, skin bright pink.

Adorable...

"...are you really surprised I like your dick that much?"

He went from a bright pink to glaring neon, "As I said, your reaction has been atypical."

"Why? Like... What was their problem?"

He looked at you for a long moment and you felt suddenly ashamed, "Sorry, I didn't mean to push. I'm just... Baffled, I guess."

When he replied it was quiet, "It might seem strange but where I am from the notion of being uncircumcised is not particularly popular."

"Really?"

He nodded, "It has cultural significance…"

What culture? You wondered.

His tone told you it was something he wasn't ready to talk about.

"Well, I love you no matter what." You said gently, "I think you're amazing. Every part of you."

The pink tone had flared back up, brighter than before. You smiled.

“That was… amazing.” you sighed, closing your eyes.

Your body had been sore from the day’s work so you knew you’d be a bit achy tomorrow but god was it worth it. 

“It was quite the ah… pleasant surprise…" he was still a brilliant pink, clearly self-conscious.

"Mmmm… what can I say? You're fun to tease."

He pouted just for a moment, "Clearly I'll need to up my game."

Oh god?

"Yeah?" You watched as he sat up a bit.

"After all… there are still some  _ very _ interesting ideas you've given me that I've yet to try. And, of course…" his voice was lower, warmer, "You  _ do _ love my voice. I'm interested in testing  _ that _ further…~"

You buried your face in the blankets with a soft squeal and he laughed.

"Now… it's late. I should let you sleep…" regret laced his words.

"You know… you could stay on until I fall asleep…" you offered.

He perked up, "I could tell you more about porcupines!"

You nodded, curling up to listen as he continued his lecture from earlier. Tomorrow morning you'd need one hell of a shower but right now you were too tired and content to move. You pulled the blankets over yourself, snuggling down into them as he carried on about how porcupines were plantigrade and how it was an evolutionary advantage. He was so cute when he was excited and in his element.

You loved him…

It registered, suddenly, in your brain what you had done tonight.

Oh god.

You'd done that.

You'd done that and holy shit it was great??

More than great it had been hot as hell…

This goofy octopus who was excitedly detailing the life cycle of porcupines had been panting and gasping your name not even twenty minutes ago.

You bit your lip. Your body full of giddy excitement.

He'd moaned your name and nearly fallen apart from your teasing…

_ You'd _ caused that.

"Yes, Reader?"

"Hm?" Your focus snapped back to him.

"You look particularly amused by the porcupines." He smirked.

You had a distinct feeling he knew it wasn't about the porcupines.

"No, just…" you felt your face burn, "Thinking about you…"

He went pink and chuckled, "I admit, porcupines aren't as… distracting as you are."

You smiled tiredly, "I love you."

"And I, you." 

"You uh…" you shifted a bit, a thought coming to mind, "you were worried about needing a stopping point…"

Neon pink.

"Ah… well… yes, I'd rather not push you too far unknowingly." He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"So far you do a great job but… well, would you want something like uh…" ha fuck well  _ here it goes _ , "a safeword?"

Your phone seemed to struggle with whatever shade of pink he'd gone. He nodded silently.

"Okay uh…" 

You thought it over. What word would work for the two of you? You both kinda talked a lot during but… what seemed... workable?

The two of you sat in awkward silence for a long moment before you laughed, startling him, "God… we're  _ educators _ . This can't be that hard!"

He chuckled, the tension melting from him, "Well… perhaps the color system might be suitable…"

"Like… stop lights? Red, yellow, green?"

He nodded, still quite pink.

"You gonna turn into a traffic light if I push too hard?"

He laughed, his skin flickering to red, "It would be quite possible! However, given I'm usually yellow I think verbal confirmation is the better option."

You nodded, "Okay. We can do that." 

He looked  _ immensely _ relieved.

"So… how was tonight?" He asked, slightly pensive.

"Green." You sighed, happily, "Every god damn shade of it. A+." You smirked, "Maybe we should start calling second and third rounds 'extra credit'."

He made a slight yelp of embarrassment and you laughed, "I love you…"

"I love you too…" his response was soft, "Rest, Reader…"

You pouted, "But then I don't get to see you…" 

He chuckled, "You'll see me in person soon enough."

You sighed, unable to fight to keep your eyes open. The last thing you heard as you drifted off was a hushed humming. Some song you couldn't quite place…

The tune quickly ushered you to sleep.


	108. Creme Caramel

Your alarm scared the shit out of you the next morning. You jerked awake, slapping the blankets for your phone and reaching for the alarm clock, both of which were shrieking at you.

Once both were silenced you sat up with a yawn. Your body swiftly protested with aches. That pudding was a lot more work than you expected…

With a sigh, you pushed yourself upright.

It was time to shower and get ready for the day.

When you arrived at the schoolhouse Kayano was already there supervising the movement of what looked like several industrial mixers.

“What are...”

She turned, spotting you, and grinned, “We’re doing caramel sauce, remember? These are going to be for the prep.”

“Okay so… hold on, you’re going to be mixing up batches of caramel sauce and what?”

“We make our hot caramel sauce, let it cool just a touch, then we’re going to pour it over the top of the pudding.” she gestured to the gigantic mold.

“So we’re going to be working with huge pots of molten liquid sugar.” you looked at her.

“Yep! But don’t worry, we’re taking precautions.”

“What sorts of precautions?”

“Well, first off, the machines will be doing the actual cooking and mixing, we’ll just be monitoring them. The pour is going to be done with these.” she tapped a large metal bowl with chains supporting it, “The idea is we cook the caramel in the machines, transfer to the bowls then hoist it up to the tank. From there we hose it onto the top! It’s going to take a lot of batches. After that, we break out the flamethrowers-”

“Hold on… the what?” you stared at her.

“Flamethrowers. We’re going to brûlée the top!”

Flamethrowers. First, it was explosives. Now it was flamethrowers. 

“Ohhhhkay… we’re going to make sure everyone has protective gear and I need medical supplies on standby-”

“Don’t you worry about that.” Kayano chirped, “We’ve already prepared.”

“We?”

Ukai emerged from behind some of the equipment, clipboard in hand. He gave you a wave, “Mx. Reader! Sorry for not saying hello yesterday, had my hands full with orders from the boss here.” he smirked down at Kayano.

She grinned, “Mr. Ukai helped me make arrangements with the government since the project is much larger scaled than my tests at home were. Without him I don’t know if I would have gotten the measurements right!”

“You were pretty spot on. I’m impressed.” he chuckled and looked over at you, “Medical tent is there.” he gestured to a white tent on the grounds, “It should be stocked with supplies. Anything left over from this project goes to the nurse’s office.”

To the nurses’ offi-

Wait-

“So you mean… that’s more medical supplies for us?”

He nodded, “I know your restock was kind of second hand so I pulled some strings. Think of it as a thank you for Okinawa.”

Okinawa? What had you done for him on Okinawa?

“I really don’t think the others would have stopped to get medical help if it weren’t for you speaking up. Especially not Karasuma or Sonokawa.” he said softly, “I appreciate it.”

Knowing those two… he was probably right.

You were still baffled that they’d listened to you.

“I’m happy I could help.” you smiled, “So, can you two run me through safety procedures with this stuff?”

“Of course!” Ukai nodded, gesturing for you to follow, “We have professional-grade oven mitts and aprons for the staff and children as well as a burn station for immediate care should anyone get injured.”

There was a rack of heavy aprons and arm length oven mitts. Beside it was a long table with large tubs of water next to it along with ointments, gloves, bandages, medication and such stacked along it.

“Face shields.” you looked over at them, “Do we have those?”

“Not on hand but I can certainly get some here before we start.” Ukai replied.

“Do that. Caramel burns are no joke and we don’t want to risk eye damage if someone gets hit with splashback.”

Kayano made a face, “Yeah… that might be a good idea.”

“So how are we doing this exactly? Is this going to hold up for another day while he’s gone?” you looked up at the giant mold.

The pudding had been given an overnight chill, the sauce would be made today. Agar or not you didn't see this thing lasting another day especially not outside 

“We have to make sure it holds up first so we’re going to unmold it.”

“... if you do that isn’t that going to mean you pretty much have to serve it immediately?”

The girl nodded, “Yeah, we were kind of ahead of schedule yesterday. I thought the mixing process was going to take longer than it did.”

“So, what do you plan to do?”

“I figure we’ll unmold it to make sure it stands up first. That’ll give Ukai time to get face shields for everyone anyway. Then, we’ll start the caramel. Thankfully that won’t take as long since the volume is smaller. We just have to be careful with the cooking temperatures. Once the sauce is ready we’ll pour it on and brûlée it.”

“Okay, and getting the octopus back here?”

“Oh that’s easy. We just tell him we have a surprise for him and he needs to cut his trip short. There’s no way he’s going to pass that up.” she smirked.

You hated just how right she was.

The other students began to trickle into the yard. Each casting awe-filled glances up at the huge mold. You couldn’t blame them. The thing was easily a fifth of the size of the schoolhouse and even with it being there you had a hard time believing it was real.

Soon, the group was assembled once again before the monstrosity, Kayano taking lead, book in hand like some tiny pudding dictator.

“So, what now?” Isogai looked to her lead.

“Now that we’ve let it chill overnight, we’re going to check to see if it’s firmed up enough. If it is, we remove the cooling pipes. After that, we’ll loosen the bolts holding the lid in place. Then we’ll blow air between the walls of the mold and the pudding itself. Then, we dismantle the mold. When the pudding is completely free, we’re going to shore up the sides with softened gelatin and agar to add just a bit more firmness. Then we’ll top it off with a caramel sauce and lightly brûlée the top!” as she spoke she became increasingly more passionate, eyes sparkling with delight.

“Hold on, brûlée? So that means...” Nagisa looked at her with a touch of concern.

She grinned, “Flamethrowers!”

There were a lot of looks cast your way as though they expected your protests. You held up your hands, “It’s Kayano’s show. She and the ministry have put a lot of work into protective gear and approach.”

Excitement lit up the kids faces.

Hoo boy, you hoped this was the right call…

“Okay, so! Groups two and three! You’ll be helping me first with pipe removal and lock release! Groups one and four you’ll be on agar and caramel sauce duty. Terasaka, I need your group to whip up some batches of gelatin and agar. Nagisa, Mx. Reader has the current caramel sauce instructions and we have industrial cookers waiting for preparation. Be careful! That stuff is going to be hot! Let’s get moving!”

The groups separated, Kayano taking lead with two and three who were now climbing ladders and scaffolding up the sides of the mold. Terasaka began barking orders to his crew who followed his lead while also cracking jokes and giving him a hard time. You found yourself looking down at an expectant Nagisa. From your clipboard you removed a copy of the instructions, passing it to him.

You looked over the group, “Okay guys, we’re going to be dealing with what amounts to  _ molten sugar _ . It’s not stuff to mess around with. It can give you devastating burns if you’re not careful. Since it’s on a large scale there’s extra risk. So, first thing’s first- suit up!”

In short order, the lot, including yourself, were clothed in full-length oven mitts, industrial-grade aprons, and face shields. It was hot in the morning sun but better to be safe than sorry.

The group paired off, each taking one of the industrial mixers. The things looked like stand mixers designed by a heavy metal group. Thick frames supported a large mixing bowl with a spout that nearly reached your chest. The mixing blades were long metal paddles attached to a rotating arm designed to scrape the sides. Sugar was poured inside and slowly cooked while being stirred.

If Kayano was right, this should be the easy part. The transferring would be the more dangerous aspect.

You supervised each pair with the ratios of sugar, the mixer settings, and general prep. Each team worked to monitor their batch while occasionally looking up at the other climbing over the mold. Things seemed to be going smoothly until you heard a cry of alarm from Kanzaki. When you turned to look you saw smoke.

“Shut it off!” you shouted, running over.

Sugino did so and the pair of them stood, fretting over the device.

The others looked up to see what was wrong.

“Anyone hurt?” you looked at the pair.

“No, it just...” Kanzaki made a face looking in at the blackened mess of a batch, “The paddles stopped working.”

The pot was filled with smoking burnt caramel. You coughed a bit and waved a hand to disperse the smoke.

“I’m sorry! I was supposed to keep an eye on it and I was distracted!” Sugino bowed apologetically.

“Why did the paddles stop working though?” you looked at them.

“I don’t know...” Kanzaki peered inside carefully, “It started fine.”

“Okay, let me check in with Kayano about how to proceed. Don’t try to clean this up yet.”

They nodded and you made your way over to Kayano who was standing at the base of the mold.

“Uh, Kayano we might have a-”

“RELEASE INTERNAL LOCK!” she called out. The mold’s panels began to separate and a rush of fine pudding mist hissed out, spattering your visor in a thin layer of film.

Kayano, however, didn’t have your protective layer of gear.

Her face screwed up and she wiped a hand down her face blinking.

When she noticed your eyes on her she went pink, “Okay, maybe I didn’t really think that part through...”

You laughed a bit and pulled out a towel from the pocket of your apron, passing it to her, “We might have a bit of a caramel situation...”

She wiped down her face, “The pudding tastes good thou-wait, what kind of caramel situation?!” her eyes widened in panic.

“One of the mixers stopped working mid batch so it’s burned.”

“WHAT?!” she raced over to the mixers.

You followed, nearly running into Okajima.

“Whoa, Mx. Reader, you get a side role in one of Korosensei’s hentai films?”

Wha-

Oh…

The pudding spray.

“Okajim-”

There was a distressed wail from Kayano that cut you off and you sighed in frustration, heading over.

You didn’t have time to deal with the little horndog right now.

Kayano was staring in distress at the ruined mess of caramel, “We’re down one mixer!”

She looked a touch panicked. You were a little surprised, Kayano had been on top of this whole thing so far…

“Is there any way we can get another?”

She shook her head, “The budget was stretched as is, I wasn’t sure we were going to get these.”

“Okay, no need to panic.“ you put a hand on her shoulder, “Shit happens. How about you take a minute and get cleaned up? That pudding has to be sticky. Then we can tackle what to do next.”

She took a breath and nodded, “Okay.”

With that, she headed inside and you made your way over to one of the stations, snagging another towel to clean off your gear. Once that was done, you checked back in with your group.

The remaining caramel batches were going much more smoothly. The sugar had begun to coalesce into a rich amber liquid and the scent of caramel was in the air.

You were reminded of a certain octopus.

_ Old books, summer rain, caramel... _

Kanzaki and Sugino both looked shamefaced.

“We’re really sorry, Mx. Reader.” Kanzaki’s voice was soft, “We should have been paying more attention...”

“Things happen.” you waved a hand, “Right now, let's focus on getting these other batches ready, yeah?”

She nodded sheepishly.

Ukai approached with some other ministry officials and were working on the remaining caramel mixer. They were fussing with it when Kayano returned now clothed in her gym wear.

“Okay so… we’ve got one machine out of commission and we’re down one batch. Thankfully yesterday we were ahead of the game so I think we’ll be alright. We just have to keep on top of these batches.” she turned to the other students, “How’s it coming?”

Karma smirked, “So far so good. Think this one is nearly finished.”

“Great!” she grinned, “Let’s get it into the tank.”

You spared a glance Ukai’s way. He caught your eye and called over, “Looks like a flaw in the device. These were second hand. I’ll bring it up with the ministry.” 

Okay then…

Well, at least it wasn’t the kids’ fault.

Kayano looked more in control now, she was supervising the others into the careful first pour of caramel into the waiting metal bowl. When it was filled it was hoisted up to the top of the tank where a ministry worker poured it inside.

Good. Things were back on track.

You gave Kayano a smile, “See? Just keep rolling.”

She nodded, resolve back on her face as she began barking orders, “Okay, get the next batch started. I need to check in with group four and make sure the agar is sticking!”

The next few hours were slowly filling the tank with caramel sauce. It was a slow process given the size of the batches and the general consistency of caramel. When the tank was filled a ladder was hoisted from one of the trucks and it was Nagisa who ascended, manning the hose. (Not without assurances of safety harnesses from the ministry workers.) Takebayashi made his way up the other side of the scaffolding. Yoshida passed him a device with a different sort of hose...

A flamethrower.

You watched as the two made quick work of the top, Nagisa hosing it down and Takebayashi handling a flamethrower in the most business-like fashion you’d ever seen.

Not that you’d seen many people with flamethrowers before.

It was surreal standing in front of a giant pudding but the occasional burst of flames from the top really just cemented this in the bizarro territory. You snapped a few photos because, honestly, when were you going to get another chance to take pics of something like this?

When all was said and done the scaffolding was cleared away and the students stepped back, admiring their work.

Before you sat a pudding that was easily taller than the schoolhouse. It wobbled slightly in the afternoon light as if it were a living thing.

“It looks delicious!” Sugino grinned over at Kayano who was looking filled with tired pride.

Nakamura snapped a selfie with it, “Right? You completely forget there’s a bomb planted in there!”

…

Oh...

That’s right…

This was an assassination attempt…

The tiniest shiver of fear went through you and you suppressed it.

Your idiot would know better. 

He’d sort it out…

...

You  _ hoped. _

Things began progressing quickly at that point. Ministry workers swooped in, clearing away the machinery assisted by the class while Kayano took up the task of texting Korosensei about the surprise. 

Your phone chimed suddenly and you pulled it out.

A message.

From 🐙🎓.

[I suppose you'll be seeing me sooner than we thought!]

[Oh?] 

[The children say they have a surprise for me! I'm so excited!]

Of course, he was. You shook your head, replying.

[Yeah. They've been pretty excited about it too.]

[Does that mean you know what it is? Can you give me a hint?]

[That would spoil the surprise.]

[( ･ั﹏･ั)]

[Nope. I promised. Besides, isn't not knowing half the fun?]

[I suppose… I’ll be there shortly! Just passed Hong Kong!]

[I’ll let them know.]

Not even ten minutes later there was a rush of wind and the octopus had arrived. His eyes were locked onto the pudding INSTANTLY.

“What is THIS?!” he looked at the class.

Kayano looked up at him, “We made it for you, Korosensei! You said you wanted to eat a giant pudding!”

“WHAT?!” excitement filled his trembling voice.

“Yeah, there was an egg surplus. We thought it was better that they went to good use than get tossed you know?” she nodded.

“Consider it a thank you for all of the hard work you put in!” Okuda chimed in.

His voice trembled as he looked at Kayano, “And-and I'm allowed to eat this entire thing?!”

Kayano seemed… off. Almost unsettled as she spoke, “Oh, uh, sure. I just didn't want those eggs going to some landfill. ”

Nakamura smirked, pitching in, “This was all Kayano's idea, you know.”

Nervous laughter came from Kayano in response.

This wasn’t the Kayano from the last two days. In charge and in control.

This was something else...

Was she going to give it away?

Your idiot didn’t even seem to notice. Instead, he leaned down, clasping Kayano’s hands in his, tears streaming down his face, “ Oh, Kayano! You've made me so  _ happy! _ ”

“Well, see ya, Korosensei.” Nakamura chuckled, turning back to the schoolhouse.

“Yeah, we've got English review,” Isogai said apologetically.

Hinano leaned in, smiling, “Don't let any of it go to waste, now!”

Instantly, Korosensei about-faced,  _ gardening trowels _ in hand (when had he? Nevermind, you should have stopped asking that question ages ago), “Not a problem! Oh, it's a dream come true! Thank you!” in a rush of wind he tackled the top of the pudding with a loud cry of, 

**_“Itadakimasu!”_ **

Kayano was standing, watching him. Isogai nudged her as he passed, “Come on. We'll watch the detonation from inside.”

“Oh…” she reluctantly turned to follow, “Yeah, okay…”

You followed them, the enthusiastic sounds of the octopus devouring the pudding fading behind you.

In the classroom Takebayashi sat at a desk facing the window, a laptop open in front of him. The class had gathered at the windows. You joined them.

Your boyfriend was a blur of motion, huge sections of the pudding slowly being eaten away like ice under a spray of hot water.

“Wow, he’s really gettin’ after it...” Sugino said, leaning on the window sill.

Okajima nodded, “I have a feeling it won't be very long till he reaches the bottom…” his voice quieted, “Do you think he eats pussy like that?” 

He was cut off from his musings by Sugino’s elbow in his ribs.

“At the current rate of consumption, I estimate he will reach the center in two minutes and twenty seconds.” Ritsu chirped, a small window on Takebayashi’s pc showed her face.

“How will you know when he hits bottom?” you looked over at him.

The boy pushed his glasses up, giving you a knowing look, “There's a surveillance camera in there, alongside the bomb. The second the screen starts to lighten, we detonate.”

You felt a twist of fear in your stomach. 

He had to notice, right? There was no way-

Your train of thought was abruptly cut off by  _ screaming _ next to you.

“ _ MY PUDDING!!! _ ” Kayano began beating her head against the window frame, panic and distress in her voice, “I CAN’T LET SOMETHING I’VE PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO BE BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS!!”

Terasaka intervened before you could, pulling her back in a headlock.

“It's a damn _ pudding _ , not the family pet! It's  _ supposed _ to be blown to smithereens!” he snapped, “Operation pudding POPPER, remember?!”

She struggled in his grasp, “NO, we can't! We need to keep it in the yard forever, as a monument!”

Hoo boy, this girl had… really gone off her rocker over this pudding. You knew she liked sweets but-

There was a rush of wind as the octopus suddenly materialized in the room.

“Phew! Time for a breather. My jaws needed a break.”

The class froze, staring up at him.

His tone hitched up a touch in a way you were very familiar with by now and your heart leapt. 

He’d figured it out.

“By the way, amid all the deliciousness, I caught a faint whiff of this!” he presented the plastic explosive and detonator, safely disassembled.

You couldn’t stop your grin. 

“I ate a path from caramel to pudding to dirt and proceeded to tunnel from underneath to remove it.” he sounded positively pleased with himself. You were surprised the green stripes hadn’t come out yet. Opening his mouth, he wedged the bomb between his jaws, somehow speaking around it, “I assume the bomb was your handy work, Takebayashi?”

The boy nodded, defeat painting his features.

Korosensei tipped his head back, munching down the explosive the same way one might crunch a potato chip and, somehow, still talking, “Well, your calculations were spot on, and if I had not picked up on the  _ distinct _ scent of plastic explosives, your scheme might've very well worked.” he smiled down at the boy with pride and placed a hand gently on his shoulder, his other hand drifting to Kayano’s, “For next time, put in research into something I can't sniff out.”

“Right...” the boy sighed, “Thank you, sir.”

“Nurufufufu! C’est la vie!” he shrugged his hands into the air, “But since you worked together to create this wonderful concoction, you should enjoy it together!” he gestured to a row of desks in the back which were now decorated with cocktail glasses, each holding a quivering portion of pudding and accompanied by a spoon, “I set aside a portion for each of you. Uncontaminated, of course.~”

When had-

You sighed, chuckling and shaking your head as the children dispersed to get their snack. A familiar tentacled hand drifted into your view, cradling a cocktail glass. You glanced over at him for a moment before reaching out and accepting the proffered treat.

“Always over the top,” you smirked.

“What? What sort of teacher would I be if I didn’t set an example by  _ sharing? _ ” Green stripes decorated his face and you laughed, taking a bite.

…

Well shit…

Not bad.

Firmer than your normal pudding but that was to be expected. The flavor though was amazing, deep rich vanilla and a slightly coffee-like caramel. You hummed your approval and he smirked, “Right?”

Two tendrils offered glasses to a fuming Karasuma and a bored-looking Irina. They accepted them reluctantly. You noticed that they weren’t standing together.

Hm…

There was a sigh from Maehara but it sounded more light-hearted than you expected. The pudding probably helped ease the taste of defeat.

“So he gets the drop on us yet again.”

Kanzaki looked over at him, “And it was such a clever idea, too.”

“Incidentally,” Korosensei’s voice caught the attention of the classroom, “consuming eggs that are meant for the landfill is, strictly speaking, a violation of sound economic principles.” he brandished a textbook, grinning as usual, “So, we'll be exploring the complex role of a perishable good surplus in our next civics lesson.”

There was a chorus of less than enthusiastic agreement from the class. You chuckled, leaning on one of the desks, you took another bite of your pudding.

“Sooooo, I assume you took part in this little exercise?” the octopus smirked down at you.

“Well, yeah, they were handling flamethrowers and heavy machinery, they needed a medic on hand.” you shrugged, “Ministry paid for the whole thing.”

“That would certainly explain Mr. Karasuma’s less than pleased expression.” he chuckled.

“Yeaaah… he was a lot more chipper about it yesterday.”

The octopus looked at you in surprise.

“Okay, what amounts for chipper with Karasuma you know what I mean.” you huffed.

He chuckled a bit, “Perhaps it has something to do with yesterday…”

“Maybe. No idea what that was about.” you took another bite of your pudding.

There was a light sigh from Kayano behind you. You glanced back to see her regarding the glass in her hand contemplatively.

“Kind of a shame, isn't it?” Nagisa asked her, “I bet you're relieved, though.”

She chuckled with a shrug.

“Honestly, no offense but I didn't think you had it in you to be so hardcore.” said Nagisa.

The boy who had literally faced off with a violent maniac over the summer.

_ Hardcore. _

_ Okay. _

“It was fun,” he continued, “and out of the ordinary, too. A nice change of pace.”

Karma hummed his own agreement, spoon tucked in his mouth.

_ A nice change of pace. _

_ Out of the ordinary. _

What did those words even MEAN anymore?

Kayano chuckled, “Well, that's what it is to be an assassin. Not even your closest friends get to see your true blade.”

There was a chirp of “Nue?” from your octopus and he looked over, holding up one hand in a circular shape as he flickered a red circle at her.

Right answer.

Of course.

You took another bite of your pudding.

“There's more where that came from.” Kayano grinned at him, “I've got all kinds of jiggly weapons at my disposal. Here even a pudding expert can be a top-notch assassin.”

“Don’t think that gambit is going to work for you twice, young lady.” he chided, amused, “I now know what I’m watching out for.”

There was a sharpness to her grin as she replied, “I don’t know about that.~”

“Nurufufufufu~” he looked ecstatic, “I can’t  _ wait _ to see what you have in store for me.”

You shook your head with a sigh.

Of  _ course _ he couldn’t.

You took another bite of your pudding.

This wasn’t the teaching position you signed up for but today was another reminder of how much you loved your job.

…

You reminded yourself to get the pudding recipe from Kayano.

This stuff was really good…

The afternoon was filled with the class discussing the pudding's creation with the octopus. He was absolutely fascinated and impressed by the extent of Kayano's planning. 

As things wound down to a close, Korosensei chuckled, "If anyone would like to take some of their creation home I've set aside additional portions!"

Additional?

He hefted a box onto the podium, opening it and holding up a pudding cup-

Wait… what?

You leaned over, peeking inside.

He had packaged each serving in pudding cups complete with a custom seal.

On each was a stylized pudding with the words  _ Kunugigaoka Creme Caramel _ in fancy lettering.

"There's a box for each of you, packed with ice of course." He grinned wider, "This way you can share your hard work with those you love at home!"

There was a sigh from Karasuma and Korosensei cast him a smile, "Don't fret, I left yours and Miss Irina's on your desks."

The man's brow twitched in response.

He didn't move from his spot.

Boxes were swiftly passed around to the class. You noticed that Isogai looked especially excited about his. 

"Can't wait for the kids to try this!" He was grinning over at Maehara, "It's way better than mine."

Maehara grinned back at him, "Should get the recipe from Kayano."

Isogai nodded his agreement, "Mom’s gonna be happy. She loves pudding."

You were glad to see the kid accepting the gift. After the festival, you were a bit concerned that he'd refuse.

"You're downloaded on his computer?" You overhead Nakamura asking Ritsu, "I bet you can get all kinds of dirt on him then!"

"Takebayashi and I have had long discussions about our privacy boundaries." Ritsu replied, "And, as he is not the target, intelligence gathering on his habits would serve you no purpose."

You could have sworn you saw Takebayashi let out a sigh of relief.

After that chat discussion the other day you could see why.

"Besides that it would upset him and I value our relationship too much to risk such a thing."

There was a flicker of emotion on the boy's face that settled into a shy smile. He crossed the room, coming to stand next to Ritsu's main unit.

Nakamura looked mildly annoyed that her fun had been thwarted.

Hinano leaned over, "Awww Ritsu! That's sweet!"

Ritsu faltered, pink ringing her cheeks, "Oh?"

"Yeah," Hinano smiled, "You two are really cute together!"

The pair both went red-faced.

"Thank you." Ritsu finally managed to respond.

Takebayashi mumbled some form of thanks as well.

It was nice to see other students supporting them.

“Not a bad end to the day if I do say so.” Korosensei spoke from behind you nearly causing you to jump out of your skin.

You looked back at him and he simply grinned down at you.

Cocky as ever.

“Yeah, it was a pretty good one...” you watched as the students gathered their things, each with a small cooler of pudding.

Ironically, this felt normal.

Comfortable.

Business as usual.

No life or death decisions or death threats (octopus excluded). No terrorists or abuse or concerns about being outed to the class…

Just the usual weird shit your class got up to.

You gave a content sigh.

What you wouldn’t give for a few more moments like this…

Most of the students had dispersed when you went to the office to pick up your things. You noticed, to your amusement, that both Irina and Karasuma’s boxes of pudding had vanished.

Seemed like even they couldn’t turn down free pudding.

As you entered the nurse’s office you paused.

The Bird’s Nest had more additions.

You smiled, letting your fingers rest on the box for a moment.

“I see I’m not the only one still here!”

For the second time today your idiot scared the shit out of you. You almost knocked the box off the table.

“Give a person warning?!” you snapped.

He merely chuckled, “Where would be the fun in that?”

You sighed, righting the box and tucking some of the birds that had spilled out back inside.

Your phone suddenly buzzed and when you pulled it out there was a text.

From him.

Of course.

[Dinner at my place?]

“You know you’re in the same room with me.” you smirked.

He went a touch pink and your phone buzzed again.

[I was trying to be discrete!]

“No one is here!” you laughed, shaking your head, “But yeah, sure.”

His grin widened, “See you then!”

As he vanished, a text came through.

With instructions for a meeting place.

You chuckled and shook your head.

What a nerd.

With that, you made your way to the spot he suggested.


	109. Not Yet (NSFW)

One small trek and a flight later found you, once again, at his mountaintop home. He quickly ushered you inside.

“Okay, okay!” you laughed, “What’s the rush-”

You were abruptly scooped up.

Oh-

You found yourself pressed against the wall, slid up to be at his level. 

OH

"I want you." his voice was rough and unsteady, as though he were barely managing to keep composure.

_ OH _

His lips took yours hungrily, desperately. Hands roved under your clothes and he looked at you, breathless, "Please?"

What kind of crazy would you have to be to say no to  _ that? _

You nodded and found yourself suddenly on his futon staring up at him.

He leaned over you, tendrils lovingly removing your clothing. They dragged over your skin, exploring your body as though you were a delicate, precious thing. A treasure he hadn't seen in a lifetime instead of two paltry days. He stared, his expression softening, "Reader you look  _ wonderful. _ "

Two days of cooking pudding nonstop and generally being a mess made you feel otherwise right this second.

You felt your face radiating heat, you covered it with a laugh, "Korosensei!"

"In fact, you look almost good enough to eat!"

You yelped in surprise as he slid down your body and put his mouth to use.

You remembered distinctly what he'd said on call.

_ "I want to  _ **_taste_ ** _ you…" _

Ohhhh…

You gasped, shivering at the sudden sensation. Your body was as taken by surprise as you were but with the motions of his tongue it was catching up quick. Your hands gripped at the blankets, muscles trembling at the heat of his mouth on you.

Tendrils wrapped around your hips, holding them steady as he worked. You writhed but we're unable to escape it. Warm, wet heat surrounded your sex, his tongue teasing at just the right places along it. You were shaking. It felt so good. The way he touched you, the way his mouth moved against you, the way he would pause and place a kiss or two along your inner thigh.

As he savored you, you felt a soft, smooth tentacle tease at your entrance. It was gentle, not entering you but making its presence known  _ very _ clearly. You whined and tried to buck or roll your hips to get him inside. Instead what you got was lips parting from your sex and a soft whisper of "Not yet…~"

You melted.

Ohhhhhhhh _ god yes… _

You felt his tongue make one long stroke up your sex and gasped. He chuckled softly against you, “I did say I would remind you.”

You shuddered as the heat of his mouth, “Y-yeah…”

“So… would you say that toy is better than me now?” his voice was teasing, cocky, the tentacle below circling your entrance slowly.

“I don’t knoooow...” you teased, moaning as he dipped the tentacle into you just slightly, before pulling back. His tongue back on your sex.

“Then  _ clearly _ , this is going to take a while...” he hummed.

_ Fuck. _

You rocked your hips, your writhing moving you along the futon. His tentacles pulled you sharply back to him, “Now now, Reader, you brought this on yourself.~”

Oh god-

His mouth surrounded you again, gentle hot suction making your nerves light up and your legs shake. You felt it building quickly, very quickly-

If he kept that up-

Suddenly your sex was exposed to air, his mouth drawing away. You whined, looking down at him.

Green stripes and a wicked grin.

“Reader, I did say this would take a while...”

Shuddering, you tensed your legs, trying to free them, “That’s not fair-”

“Fair?” he leaned back down, the heat of his breath on you but tantalizingly out of reach, “When did I ever promise to be fair?”

What had gotten into him?

Was this what having a safeword entailed! Because if so why didn’t you talk about that  _ sooner _ ?

You whined, “ _ Please? _ ”

“Hm?” the tentacle below you dipped just barely into your sex, “What is it you want?”

“You stopped...” you rocked your hips, trying to make SOME contact.

“Hmmmm...” he dipped his head a touch lower, letting his tongue trail along your sex in one smooth stroke.

You struggled, your muscles tensing reflexively, “F-fuck...”

“Mm is that a request or an exclamation?” he grinned up at you.

“PLEASE!” you begged, bucking your hips.

“Allow me to ask you again. Would you say that toy is better than me now?~”

“Fuck no!” you cried out.

He hummed softly against your sex, parting for a moment, “I’m not certain I believe you...”

“FUCK NO!” you shouted.

He chuckled, “Is that so? Perhaps you could elaborate?”

Ohhhh god it was such a fucking fantastic frustration. Delightful torture.

“Th-that thing has  _ nothing _ on you.” you gasped, “You do things I-I-” you cut off into a whine as he dragged his tongue along your sex again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?” he lifted his head, grinning.

_ “I’ve never come as hard as I do with you! _ ”

The words tumbled from your lips and you felt your face heat up dramatically.

It was true.

It was hot. 

It also felt too embarrassing, too bare, too raw...

He went bright pink.

“Is that so?~” his voice was teasing, playful, clearly laced with a note of pride.

“Y-yes…” you shivered at his tone.

God, why did you tell him you had a thing for his voice?

“Let’s test that,  _ shall we? _ ”

The tentacle that had been playing idly with your entrance now pushed into you in slow strokes. He moaned softly, reverently around your sex as the tentacle found its rhythm.

You squirmed, arching your back. God, how could something feel  _ that _ good? If his moans were any indication he felt the same. Tendrils slid up your body and you stroked them gently.

You managed to gasp out, "Y-you should let me r-return the favor."

He glanced up at you, going pinker than before. 

Pausing, he lifted his head, “Hmmm… I’m afraid that might be a bit  _ too much _ of a distraction…”

“For you or me?” you smirked.

“Both.” he chuckled.

“Please...” you gasped as he ran his tongue along you again, “ _ Please _ , let me suck you off?”

There was a startled sound from him and all motion stopped. You looked down and saw he’d gone magenta, face buried against your thigh.

You couldn’t help it.

You laughed.

“Too much?”

“A-ah… no, just… unexpected.” he managed, peeking up at you.

He looked like he was going to combust.

“I did say I'd beg on the call...” you smirked as your body shivered. It was begging for release, begging for more stimulation…

“I’m sorry, I ah...” he was clearly still embarrassed.

You chuckled, “You’re doing _ amazing _ , Cuddle Fish.”

It was his turn to shiver at your tone. One pearlescent tentacle snaked its way along your chest almost tentatively, “What if you need to stop?”

Fair point. With your mouth full-

“I’ll tap, like this.” you thumped your hand against the floor twice.

His eyes widened just slightly, the tentacle inside of you slowly moving again, "Are you sure?"

You nodded right as he hit a particularly good spot. You dropped your head back with a moan. That familiar laugh rose from below you as his mouth went back to work.

The pearlescent tentacle on your chest came closer, brushing softly against your cheek. Reaching up, you took it in your hands, laying kisses along it.

He tensed, a shudder reverberating through his body.

His mouth surrounded your sex again, his actions somehow more eager than before.

God…

He was going to be the death of you like this.

You brought the tentacle to your lips, taking in as much of it as you could manage.

In long, slow motions you drew the appendage in and out of your mouth sometimes pausing to kiss or lick at it. He practically whined, the tentacle inside you speeding up exponentially.

Without meaning to, you squeezed the appendage in your hands. He made a strangled sound and you looked down, worried for a moment that had hurt him.

Instead, you were looking down at him panting against your sex, his body shaking.

Gently, you squeezed again as you continued to suck him. He cried out and you felt his shoulders tense between your thighs. His mouth took to you again, intense and sudden. The tentacle below thickened as it thrust, making you tremble.

F-fuck…

God how... 

How could your body feel this good without  _ dying _ from it?

You moaned around him and were rewarded with a shudder, the tentacles around your hips tightening.

You felt it building up, your mind becoming a bit fuzzy at the edges.

There was nothing else right now.

Just him. His mouth, that heat, the tentacles inside you... 

Any second now you were going to-

It swept over you in a flood, your body arching below him. He pinned your hips down and sped up. You were falling apart.

The smooth tentacle sliding between your lips, another below filling you insistently, and his mouth playing out the final piece of this symphony of delight.

The second orgasm hit you like a freight train and you screamed around him.

He cried out, burying his face in your thigh, moaning. Colors flashed across his skin.

God, yes...

He carried it on for a while, bringing you to the brink over and over again. Every time you thought you were finished he would start up again, teasing and tasting you. Multiple times he'd gasped your name, burying his face in your stomach or thigh with a moan while colors danced along his skin.

When you were both too exhausted to move, he finally drew back, lying beside you.

You didn't have words. You were still trying to catch your breath. Turning to him, you laid your hand over his heart.

It was practically humming.

He looked down at you with a tired chuckle and ran a hand through your damp hair.

"I don't believe I will  _ ever _ get tired of that."

You laughed a little, embarrassed, and buried your face in his side.

Tendrils pulled you close as he turned towards you.

"You make the most beautiful sounds, Reader."

"Speak for yourself." you were still hiding your face.

There was a moment of peaceful quiet between you, both taking a moment to bask in the afterglow.

There was a light chuckle and his breath was hot against your ear, “Soooo… you come harder with me then?”

You buried your face in his chest with a soft shriek and he laughed gently.

“I take that as high praise.” he whispered, kissing your forehead, “I take it everything was alright?”

You looked up at him, stone-faced and there was a flicker of worry across his features.

“Did any of that  _ sound _ like a problem?” you asked.

“W-well, no! But-”

You laughed, kissing him, “It was amazing. You’re amazing. You’re...” you sighed, happy, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He went a soft, fond pink, tentacles pulling you close, “Reader...”

You sighed, happy and exhausted, “I fuckin’ love you.”

“I love you too.”

It was warm and quiet, soft breathing and gentle limbs wrapped around you. As the pair of you lay, content, tiredness swept over you. You’d rest your eyes for a moment…

You woke up an hour or so later. There was a soft snore from above you and you chuckled, glancing up at him. That’s right… he hadn’t slept without you.

His breath was slow, smile relaxed slightly.

Adorable.

You paused, realizing he was still in his robes.

You stifled a laugh.

He was going to be  _ mortified _ when he woke up.

Meanwhile you… well, you were sore in the best of ways but the tackiness of your skin from… fluids was becoming uncomfortable.

Maybe you could…

You shifted, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. He just pulled you closer.

You sighed. So much for not waking him up.

“Hey...” you patted his cheek gently, “I need to get up.”

There was a soft sigh and he cracked one eye open. Reluctantly, he withdrew the tentacles from around you.

You chuckled and pressed a kiss to his head, getting up, “I’m going to grab a shower.”

“Alright.” he sat up slowly, “Then I’ll make us some dinner.”

“You have room after all that pudding?”

There was mock offense in his voice, “Of  _ course  _ I have room!”

He froze, looking at his arm and noticing his sleeve. He went a brilliant pink and looked down in dismay at his robes which were looking a bit worse for wear. Alarm crossed his features and he darted out of the room in a rush of wind.

You laughed yourself all the way to the bathroom.


	110. Fetching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can read [Korosensei's POV here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20459015/chapters/57600997).

When you got out of the shower at his place you found him bustling about the kitchen busying himself with dinner. Something seemed… different. Then it registered.

He was wearing a dress.

Not his robes or nightshirt. But a full-on casual dress. A knit number in black with a loose, oversized turtleneck of sorts.

Okay then…

You shouldn’t be that surprised. He switched outfits constantly at school. It simply took you aback for a moment given you hadn’t seen him do this sort of thing much in his downtime with you.

It was cute.

You chuckled and made your way over to the kotatsu, taking a seat. It was cozy in here. Your pajamas were soft and comfortable. There was the regular bustle of the kitchen and it was soothing. 

It felt like home.

A lovely sort of downtime after two days of work.

In the center of the table sat his tiny range with a pot steaming merrily on top of it.

“I do hope you like sukiyaki.” he approached, holding bowls and chopsticks in his tentacles.

“Sounds good. Smells good too.” you smiled up at him.

A bowl of rice and an empty bowl were placed in front of you, coupled with chopsticks. He took a seat across from you, tendrils reaching out for the fridge, and procuring a pair of eggs which he expertly cracked into small dishes while removing the lid from the pot.

Inside, simmering in a dark broth, was tofu, beef, noodles, enoki mushrooms, scallions, and other vegetables. The savory-sweet scent made your mouth water.

“I hope you don’t mind Kanto style,” he said, reaching in with his chopsticks and selecting a few choice pieces of meat and vegetables.

“There’s styles?” you asked, following his lead.

He chuckled, “Yes. Kanto style and Kansai style. The difference is in the broth. You see,” he lifted a piece of beef to his lips, pausing to blow on it, “Kanto style requires a base broth called warishita which everything is simmered in. Kansai style, however, cooks the meat first and then adds the vegetables and sauce.”

He blew softly on the meat again.

“Yeah? And the eggs?”

“Oh, that’s for dipping.”

“Raw egg?”

“Yes. A staple from Kansai but it’s come to be common for both styles these days.”

There were stranger things you’d seen eaten here. The shirasu ice cream came to mind.

You dipped a piece of beef into the egg, taking a bite. The meat was rich and soft as it was thinly sliced. The sauce was savory-sweet and the raw egg gave it a mellow dash of rich fattiness.

You hummed your approval and he laughed.

You noticed he was still blowing on the first piece of meat he’d picked up.

“Something wrong?” you asked, nodding to the bite he had hanging in the air still.

“Hm? Oh, no ah… it’s just a touch too hot for me.”

“...you ate a bomb today.”

“Yes, a bomb that was at room temperature. My tongue is quite sensitive to heat changes.”

You stared at him for a long moment, “Are you telling me that one of your weaknesses is literally just… hot food?”

“I wouldn’t call it a weakness but I suppose one could see it that way.” he finally popped the bite into his mouth with a satisfied sound.

“Nagisa probably would.” you agreed.

“Most likely.”

You fell into an amicable silence, eating your meal together.

Afterward, you insisted on dishes and he agreed on the condition that he could assist in drying. You glanced over at him. He was delicately drying the last of the dishes and almost holding himself different…

He looked over at you, “Yes?”

“Huh?”

“You’re staring.” he chuckled, “With your Detective Face no less.”

“Oh, just… the dress,” you said softly.

"I think I look quite fetching!" he smirked at you, turning in the gown.

You couldn't help it. 

You smiled.

"I think so too."

He froze and for half a moment you expected him to say something soft and genuine but he quickly covered it with a wicked grin, " _Soooo_ , you think I'm pretty?~” he leaned in, green stripes on his face, “I'll have to inform Irina, she's going to lose a bet."

You chuckled, gently taking his hand, "I always think you're beautiful..."

His breath caught momentarily, the stripes faded and a tinge of pink entered his cheeks.

You weren't sure what this was. 

A question of gender? 

An oddity? 

Maybe it was just your garden variety kink...

At any rate, it was his last year. What kind of person would you be to shoot down something that clearly made him happy?

"It is a little surprising," you said, making your way over to the kotatsu where you had tea waiting.

He looked at you for a long moment. When he spoke his tone was measured, careful, "What do you mean?"

"Well... You dress as a girl a lot…” you took a sip of your tea, “But not so much around me."

He chuckled, "Ah... That. Well…” he scratched at his head, “It was a common tactic as an assassin, disguises are quite useful- particularly unexpected ones! I suppose I developed a bit of a taste for it..."

"A taste?" you asked, tipping your head to him.

There was something to his behavior here. It reminded you of the outing to Doutor and how stiff he’d become at the mention of your dream. 

He was on guard. Pensive…

With _you_.

"Well, as I said before... In this form, I feel gender is quite beside the point."

You could understand why. He was pretty far removed from the standard gender expectations at this point and, given his wild range of abilities, it seemed a moot point.

What he asked next was quiet, reserved, "Is this... something that _concerns_ you, Reader?"

Concern?

_What?_

You snorted, "No? Why?"

"You seem rather curious..." he glanced at you and you caught a trace of worry.

As if he had anything to worry about.

You gave him a smile, "Well yeah, I'm kinda _in love with you,_ remember?"

Some of the stiffness left his frame at that, “Yes but… well… as you recall, people leave one another for less.”

You smirked, “Good luck getting rid of me.” reaching over, you placed your hand over his on the table.

As the worry in his expression eased, something occurred to you.

"Do you want to be called anything else?"

He stared at you in surprise, “What do you mean…?”

"He, she, they?” you shrugged, “A different name?"

There was a long moment of silence where he simply grinned at you in his usual manner. There was something to it though, something softer under it. The tension faded from his frame completely.

"He suits me just fine." his tone dropped into that softer, genuine register he used that always tugged at your heart, "I... I would not object to being called Koroko from time to time."

You smiled and pulled his hand up, placing a kiss on it, "Can do, Cuddle Fish."

He reached out, tipping your face up to his and kissing you lightly.

You touched your forehead to his, “I love you no matter what you're called or what you've done, remember?"

He let out a rush of breath, closing his eyes and pulling you close, "Thank you for that..."

You leaned against him for a moment before looking up at him, “Did you want to talk about it? Like… do you have a word for it?”

“A word?” he paused, looking down at you.

“Yeah like… I mean, what you feel like or how you see yourself?” you shrugged. 

He paused, considering, "There are many ways to say what I feel. Androgyne, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid... perhaps? Gender, to me, has always simply been another role. Another part to play or costume to don.” he gestured with a hand as he spoke, “It's fascinating. Learning how others view the topic and the words people use for themselves has been eye-opening. I don't know what word I would use for myself, per se, but I know that my research has settled the feelings I had on the topic.”

“But you weren’t sure about me...” you looked up at him.

He gave a small nod.

“You can tell me anything.” you reached up, cupping his cheek softly, “Okay?”

“Reader...” one of his hands came up to clasp yours gently, “There’s… there’s so much that seems… _too_ much to tell you.”

You leaned in and kissed him softly, “I can take it. Have you seen what I’ve dealt with this year?” you laughed gently, “I love you and if there’s things you need to say, say them. If there’s things you want, ask.” you paused for a moment, taking a breath, “We don’t have a lot of time together. I want to make the most of it. Not just for me, but for you too.”

He sighed. It was both a measure of contentment and resignation, “Alright.”

You held up your hand, holding out your pinky to him.

He chuckled lightly, hooking his finger in yours.

Tentacles, Mach 20, assassination, mucus...

Gender ambiguity was quite literally the most _normal_ thing about your idiot.

“Ready for bed?” you yawned, “I don’t know about you but after the last two days I’m wiped.”

“Of course. I’ll be up in a moment.” he kissed you softly.

A little odd. You weren’t sure what he needed to wait for but you didn’t want to pry. Instead, you made your way up to his room, burrowing under the blankets.

You didn’t have to wait long to see what had held him up.

He stepped into the doorway almost sheepishly. His usual pajamas or old fashioned nightshirt has been set aside for a pale pink silk nightgown. He seemed more subdued as he came to bed. Sheepish.

You smiled at him, "That looks great on you."

He flashed pink to match it, "Thank you..."

You held out your arms to him and as he joined you, you guided his head to rest above your heart.

He nuzzled up to you tentatively, as if this were entirely new. You kissed his head, "I love you, Koroko."

There was a momentary pause as if he'd forgotten how to breathe, then he buried his face in your chest going a bright pink.

Running a hand over his back you chuckled, "All good?"

He nodded into your chest and you laughed, holding him close, "You're darling."

There was a faint shiver through him and you frowned.

“Hey… hey, you sure you’re okay?”

He nodded, “It’s… I didn’t expect this to come up.”

“Why not?”

“Because!” he looked up at you in surprise, “I’m quirky! Everyone knows that! I wear costumes all the time! I’m a loveable scamp! I’m _Korosensei_ , it's what I do!”

“Didn’t expect anyone to ask questions huh?~” you laughed, teasing him gently.

“Honestly… no. Not… in a serious fashion.” he responded almost as if this realization were coming to him for the first time as well.

You gently reached out, running your hand over his head, “You didn’t count on me being curious.”

“I should have known with that Detective Face of yours.”

“Just call me Sherlock I guess,” you smirked.

“Sherlock was a fantastic creation, but I always much preferred Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot.” he looked up at you, a measure of slyness on his features.

You didn’t know much about Poirot but from what you did know of him…

“That suits you.”

He chuckled, nuzzling you gently, “I’d much rather simply call you Reader though.”

“Good. I’m not sure I want to be a Sherlock or Poirot.”

“I could always pick up from the students instead. Perhaps I should call you Doc too?”

You laughed, “Oh god no. That just seems… weird.”

“Reader it is then.” he smirked, “Unless you’d rather be Takoyaki.”

“Get out of the bed,” you said flatly.

He cackled, hugging you close, “You could be my little Takoyaki!”

You groaned, “This is as bad as consentacles.”

“Also an excellent contender!” he laughed.

You sighed dramatically, “Greaaaat.”

Despite all your sarcasm.

You loved moments like this.

When he finally finished teasing you, the light was shut off and the pair of you curled inward on each other. In the hushed quiet of the room, you felt an overwhelming peace.

Tonight, at this moment, all was right with the world.


	111. Eavesdropping and Anxiety

Thanks to staying at his place, you made it in to work early. The trek up the mountain was slow but you had both decided it was better for you to make the last leg of the trip yourself to avoid possible suspicion. By the time you reached the schoolhouse he was already at work organizing his paperwork for the day. Karasuma and Irina were nowhere to be seen.

“We really that early?” you asked, looking up and down the halls from the doorway of the faculty lounge.

“Not entirely. Karasuma is, in fact, running late.” he glanced up at you knowingly, “As is Miss Irina.”

“Oh.” you pressed your lips together, “Guess they sorted out that uh… thing from the other day then.”

“It would seem so.” he chuckled, “By the way, there are a number of boxes in your office. It seems that more supplies were delivered?”

You nodded, “Ukai pulled some strings to get us supplies.”

“Good. Hopefully, they won’t be needed.”

“With Karasuma planning on teaching parkour I get the feeling that’s going to be inevitable.” you sighed, “I’ll go ahead and tackle the boxes then.”

He gave a nod and you made your way to the nurses office. As you opened the door you sighed.

When Ukai had said extra supplies he wasn’t kidding…

The boxes were stacked clear to the doorway.

First not enough and now too much.

Well… might as well get started.

You were three boxes in when you heard a familiar clack of heels. Leaning out into the hall you gave a wave, “Good morning!”

Irina gave a nod of acknowledgment, heavy sunglasses in place and nursing an iced coffee.

“Jeez… long night?”

She gave a sigh, “Yeah. Is the stuffed shirt here yet?”

“Oh… he’s not with you?”

The question slipped out before you could catch it.

She gave you a long hard look, “Why the hell would he be with me?” she huffed, “I needed to talk to him about something.”

“Uh, well unless he came in while I was sorting I don’t think he’s in yet.”

“...Are you saying he’s late?” she stared at you in surprise.

“I’m not late.” Karasuma’s voice made you both jump as he walked up behind Irina, “I was surveying the location for today’s P.E. lesson.”

“Oh good!” Korosensei poked his head into the hall, “I was worried I’d have to count you absent!”

Karasuma didn’t look amused but he turned to you, “First lessons in parkour are today. You have your clothing for drills, yes?”

Ohhhh god…

You were already sore. This was going to be greaaat…

“Yeah, I do.”

He paused and leaned just a touch around you, looking into the office, “Ukai overdid it.”

“Yeah...”

“Typical.”

“Why rely on the guy if he’s over the top?” Irina looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Over the top is just the sort of thing we need with our current target.” he responded dryly, “Do you think the government pays for a giant pudding for just anyone?”

“I do hope you enjoyed by the way!” Korosensei called from the office, “I know I certainly did!~”

Karasuma’s eye twitched slightly and he sighed. Irina looked up at him pointedly and nodded her head to the door. He gave a slight nod in response, eyes flicking to the faculty lounge and back to you for a moment.

The pair made their way back down the hall and out the door.

…

That… hm…

You slipped out of your office and to the lounge, leaning in you gestured to get the octopus’ attention. He looked up, “Oh, hel-”

You held a finger up to your lips and mouthed at him,  _ “They’re talking outside.” _

“Nue?” he tipped his head, listening. His eyes went wide for a moment then narrowed gleefully.

You waited for a moment but then he waved his phone at you and gestured for you to leave. Ducking back into your office you put your phone on silent and sat down, messing with the next box. Sure enough, a text came through.

[She’s saying she thought things over.]

[Yeah?]

[‘If we only have a few months to live why not take a chance?’]

[O shit.]

[‘You know your feelings apparently. I thought I made mine clear but I guess I wasn't clear enough in Okinawa.’]

[Ohhhhh boy...]

[...she said Karasuma knows his feelings. Does that mean he’s SAID something to her?!]

[I mean, given how much she’s thrown herself at him I could see it?]

[Oh… ouch.]

There was the sound of heels on the floor and you quickly busied yourself with the box again, curiosity eating at you. What was going  _ on _ with those two?

When you heard her enter the classroom you picked up your phone again to find several messages apparently transcribing what he’d heard:

[‘I like you, Karasuma. I don't know how to say it in a way you'll believe me.’]

[’I don't know how to prove it to you. I hate that I feel like I should prove it to you’]

[‘I hate that you make me feel like this. Just... think about that, okay?’]

You winced and shot a message back.

[Guess there’s more trouble in paradise than we thought.]

[It would seem so.]

[Should we… I don’t know, do something? Say something?]

[I think we should give Mr. Karasuma some time to consider what Miss Irina has said.]

[Yeah… maybe go easy on her for now?]

[I believe I will.]

You locked your phone, frowning.

While your coworkers could be prickly at the best of times you didn’t like the idea of them actually fighting. Sure, Irina was a drama queen, and Karasuma had the emotional range of a block of wood but…

Well…

They both deserved to be happy.

That didn’t necessarily mean with each other but, Irina was right, there was a clock running out.

The thought settled in the pit of your stomach like a lump of cold iron but… you were grateful that you’d managed to say something in your case.

You just wished it would go better for the pair of them.

You heard the familiar squish of the octopus’ steps behind you and turned to see him leaning around the door frame, “I imagine, as Mr. Karasuma is intending on beginning the parkour lessons today, that you’d rather have the students take their review quiz early.”

“Oh...” shit… you’d almost forgotten, “Yeah, probably a good idea.”

“I thought I might volunteer a portion of the science period for it.” he gestured.

“That’s perfect.” you nodded, “Third period yeah?”

He gave a nod looking particularly sly, “I’m sure the results will be very interesting...”

You looked up at him, “Uh-huh. With your tutoring I’m sure.”

“I have to give our students every advantage!” he joked as he ducked back out of the room.

You shook your head with a sigh. The lump of iron in your stomach grew.

If the students scored well…

You would have to tell a story you didn’t care to think about.

But… you had promised.

Tucking your phone back in your pocket, you set to work organizing.

Halfway through the second period, you took a break. First thing’s first, you took out a sheet of paper and wrote out a note thanking Ukai for his assistance. Even if all the extra was a bit of a pain to unpack, you were definitely grateful for it.

That done, you turned your attention to the next thing on your list.

Picking up the box of cranes, you unloaded them onto your desk and began counting.

Seven cranes in Hatsune Miku blue and another seven in pale purple.

Eight rainbow cranes.

Five cranes on pale paper with gold foil patterning.

Six florals.

Three yabane patterned ones in white and blue.

Six more patterned in gold kōjitsunagi patterns.

Thirty-five in all.

You made an updated note.

_ Total: 272 _

_ Left: 728 _

That made another strand.

You checked the clock, you still had some time before you needed to prep the tests and you definitely needed a break from medical supplies. Taking out the remaining cranes from last time you set to work stringing them up.

Six strands of twenty-five.

Over a fourth of the way there…

When third period rolled around there was a tap at the door and it slid open to reveal Hara. She gave you a grin, “Mx. Reader, Korosensei says it’s time for the quiz!”

You chuckled, “Well, you’re awfully excited about it.”

“I think you’re going to be impressed,” she said simply.

You scooped up your materials and followed her to the classroom.

As you entered the octopus looked up, chuckling, “I see the guest of honor has arrived.”

You shook your head with a chuckle and looked at the class. They were watching attentively. You took position at the podium, Korosensei moving aside for you.

You tapped the tests on the podium surface, straightening them, “I proposed a challenge to some of you on the ferry back from Okinawa that if you were to pass an exam over what I’ve taught you I would tell you why it is that I’m a pacifist.”

This wasn’t news to anyone. You hadn’t expected it to be. The kids shared information all the time.

“This,” you held the papers up, “Is that test. I’ll be grading them next period and announce the outcome at lunch.”

Korosensei took the stack from you, “Allow me.”

In an instant the papers were distributed. You took a seat in the office chair you had in the room to wait.

This…

This was as nerve-wracking as the tests you’d taken in school.

And this wasn’t even a test you were taking.

Your gaze drifted out to the schoolyard, your thoughts hazy.

If you had to tell them, how much should you tell them? You had no doubts they could handle it, they’d handled all sorts of things so far this year but…

How much did you want to remember…?

In what seemed like no time the tests were handed in. You could see the eagerness in the children’s eyes.

In all but Nagisa.

He presented you with his test with a silent, solemn acknowledgment. A slight nod.

You returned it.

This was going to be a long day...

You spent the fourth period holed up in your office pouring over the tests. These kids were smart. Even with the curveball questions you’d thrown at them they’d answered expertly.

Any narrow sliver of hope you had about getting out of your agreement vanished.

Not a single one of them scored less than ninety-five.

You sighed, sitting back and pinching the bridge of your nose.

You were going to have to talk about it.

_ All _ of it.

For the first time in a long time.

What were you going to do about this?

Well… the first thing was to announce it. But, perhaps, you could buy some time to think of how best to approach it…

Your thoughts were interrupted by your phone buzzing.

It was a message from the octopus because of course it was.

[Lunch? My treat.]

[Sure.]

[...I assume they did well then.]

[How can you tell?]

[Not quite your usual enthusiastic self about the prospect of food.]

You laughed a bit and shook your head.

[Yeah, they did great.]

[Will you be alright?]

You thought about that for a moment.

Would you?

It was a rough memory but…

You took a breath, clearing your head.

[Yeah but don’t be surprised if I’m a little off tonight.]

[Understandable. Any preference for lunch?]

[Surprise me.]

[ ♥️ ]

When you entered the classroom, all eyes were on you. You strode over to the podium, papers in hand. The students weren’t even remotely paying attention to their meals at this point.

“I need to congratulate you. You guys did an excellent job today.” you held up the papers, “Top marks.”

There were some exclamations of excitement in response.

“However...” you swallowed, “This… it’s a topic that is hard for me to discuss. So, I’m asking you to give me til the end of the day. Once PE is over, you’ll get the answer to your question.”

The kids looked amongst themselves for a moment and it was Nagisa that spoke, “Okay, Mx. Reader… we understand.”

Korosensei stepped up, taking the papers in hand. A flash of concern crossed his face.

You gave him a smile and made your way back to the faculty lounge.

You had to think about how to tell this story…

In the office you found a bowl on your desk. Right… he was getting lunch. A few moments later the door slid open and he joined you, taking his own seat.

“I hope you don’t mind kitsune udon.” he glanced at you sidelong, “I thought something local might be a good idea.”

A ramune soda was placed in front of you as well, condensation slowly rolling down one side.

“Thanks...” you gave him a small smile, “Where are the other two?”

“Karasuma is having his customary burger under that tree outside. Miss Irina joined the class not long after you left.”

You nodded, “Alright...”

You opened the takeout bowl and paused, staring down at the fried tofu and narutomaki decorating the noodles.

Knowing what was coming, you didn’t have much of a stomach for it but given parkour training started today, you were going to need the energy.

“Reader...” his voice was soft next to you, “Are you certain you’ll be alright?”

You gave a slow nod and looked over at him, “I just… need to think on how to tell it.”

He gave a soft worried hum and you noticed his hand twitch as if he wanted to reach out to you but thought better of it.

“Just… ” you took a breath and pulled out your phone, opting to text the rest.

[I might need… something tonight.]

[Something?]

You nodded.

[Like, comfort, I guess?]

He gave the slightest of chuckles.

[That I will happily provide.]

You relaxed just a bit and gave him a half-hearted smile.

At least you wouldn’t be alone with your thoughts.


	112. Breakfalls

You came to terms with what you planned to tell the children throughout the course of the day. By the time P.E. rolled around you felt confident enough to handle yourself. The thought of it still had you filled with nervous energy but you hoped the upcoming lesson would do something about that.

Karasuma guided you and the students along the mountain trails. Soon you found yourself standing along a cliff looking out over a gully. You wondered for a moment what he was going to expect of the children or of you for that matter.

Karasuma turned to the students. There was no sign of distress from his earlier conversation with Irina.

“As I said, I’ll be teaching you advanced assassination techniques this semester. The first lesson was explosives. The second is parkour, or free running.”

You knew this was coming but now you were deeply regretting all of the pudding stirring you’d done the last two days.

The students seemed confused.

Nakamura leaned forward, “Parkour?”

“Free running?” Sugaya echoed.

He gave a nod, “For example, let’s say I want you to get to that pine tree over there.” he pointed out across the gully. A natural waterfall split the area with a stream and beyond it was a tall rock pillar topped with a black pine, “Mimura, roughly how long do you think it would take to get there? And how would you do it?”

The boy, put on the spot, shielded his eyes against the sun, squinting at the tree, “Ummm…. It would take about ten seconds to climb down this cliff then I’d jump over the narrow part of the stream… go along the right side to avoid the bushes… and climb up that rock at the end…” he seemed to be doing the math in his head, “I’d say one minute at least?”

A few of the others nodded their agreement.

Karasuma gave the rare smile, loosening his tie and pulling out a stopwatch. He passed both to Mimura as he approached the edge, “Now I’ll give it a try. Time me.” he turned to face them, his heels on the edge of the cliff, “This technique applies the athletic conditioning and cliff climbing techniques I taught you during the first semester. By studying parkour you will harness the full power of your physical abilities. Breakfall skills, measuring the distance to the next foothold, and assessing risks…” As he spoke he fell backward off the cliff to the alarmed gasps of the kids, “Master these techniques and you’ll be able to carry out an assassination anywhere!”

You all watched, stunned. He flipped end over end, landing and rolling back to his feet, leaping up and practically bouncing off the cliff face, landing across the river. From there he leapt up a tree and used his momentum to leap and jump from the wall of the cliff to the tree he’d indicated.

From one of the lower branches, he called over, “Time?!”

Mimura looked up in shock, “T-ten… Ten seconds!”

Still hanging from a branch by one arm, he called over, “This technique will enable you to discover your own uncharted paths. Master it and you’ll be able to jump from building to building like a ninja.”

“Wow...” Okano grinned, “Just wow!”

Muramatsu nudged Yoshida, “It would be so cool to do that!”

Karasuma abruptly let go of the branch, dropping onto the ground below, “But this is no different from using explosives. If you try a technique that’s beyond your beginner skill level it could cost you your life. Isn’t that right, Mx. Reader?”

You gave a nod and looked around at the students, “Free running can cause nasty injuries especially in urban environments. Falling the wrong way could break your neck, give you a skull fracture, break bones, leave you paralyzed...”

“The ground here is soft.” he called up, “Perfect for your training. I forbid you from doing parkour anywhere dangerous- or off this mountain! And you are not permitted to try anything more advanced than what I’ve taught you! Understood?!”

“Yes, sir!” the kids chorused. They were filled with excitement despite the warnings.

“First, I’ll teach you the basic breakfalls. Everyone back to the schoolyard!”

You watched as he scrabbled up the cliffside like a cat. As he crested the top, you offered him a hand up. He accepted it with the tiniest hint of a smile.

“I see you’ve recovered.” you chuckled, “No lingering effects from Okinawa?”

He straightened up, dusting himself off, “The occasional tremor, nothing performance damaging though. It’s been improving.”

“Good.” you gave him a smile.

He gave a smile back, this one slightly menacing, “Ready to learn breakfalls?”

You sighed, “As ready as I’m going to be...”

Which, you realized several minutes later while staring up at the sky where you had landed on your back, you were not.

Karasuma leaned into your field of vision, “Let’s try again.”

You sighed, getting to your feet, “Okay, show me again?”

He took up position, crouched, “You put your hands like this.” he held them up in a triangle shape, “Keep your lead foot pointed forward. Your back foot should be turned outward at a forty-five degree angle.”

You tried to mimic his position, watching.

“You place your hands at a forty-five degree angle from your knees.”

Why the hell was everything forty-five?

Why was that the magic number?

“Now, you tuck your chin to the side like you’re looking over your shoulder and-” he smoothly rolled across the grass, bouncing to his feet.

You sighed and tried mimicking his movement. You certainly didn’t feel fluid in your movement.

“Keep it tight.” he said, helping you up, “And remember you’re aiming for a straight roll. It’s just your body that’s rolling across the ground diagonally.”

“That… what?” you looked at him, confused.

“You want your body to make contact with the ground along here.” he stepped up to you, tracing a path from one shoulder to your alternate hip, “You don’t want it to go directly along your spine, it’s more dangerous for your head.”

“Alright, so across the shoulder to hip.”

He gave a nod, “Here, see Maehara over there?”

You looked over to where the boy was rolling across the ground.

“I want you to do the same exercise. It’s this same roll but you’ll be doing it forwards and backwards. It’ll help you get acquainted with the right orientation.” he clapped you on the shoulder, “And don’t worry, I told Okano and Terasaka to take time off of trying to kill you while we’re doing parkour training. Wouldn’t want any of you getting hurt.”

You gave him a look.

“Hurt  _ badly _ .” he chuckled.

“Thanks.” you paused. There was a question rolling around in your head and something told you you better spit it out before you lost the nerve to.

“Is everything okay with you and Irina?” you looked up at him.

“Huh?” the question seemed to take him completely off guard.

“Look, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t say something after… whatever it was I walked in on yesterday. I’ve known you long enough at this point that I highly doubt you would hurt her unless she came at you with a weapon but there definitely seemed like there was  _ something _ going on. I just want to be sure you’re both alright.”

His expression tightened, lips pressing together, “It’s fine. Focus on your drills.”

The icy tone told you it was Not Fine and he Did Not Want to Talk About It Thank You Very Much.

With a sigh, you joined the kids in rolling around in the grass. You felt like an idiot but Okano kept saying she noticed some improvement.

By the end of the day you were starting to think she said that just to see you rolling around on the ground more.

P.E. was wrapping up when Nagisa approached you. You were sore and tired and seeing the boy immediately brought that bubble of anxiety back to the surface.

You had a story to tell.

“Mx. Reader...” he paused, looking up at you.

There was something to his expression. Not quite regret but maybe a touch of worry.

You gave him a smile, “Tell everyone to gather in the classroom, okay? I’ll tell you there.”

He moved to say something and seemed to think better of it, nodding, “Alright.”

As he walked away you sighed and made your way inside. You needed to get cleaned up and then you’d handle this.


	113. To Accrue a Debt

Not long later, you were making your way to the classroom dressed once again in your standard clothes. You’d cleaned up a bit but were still itching from rolling around in the grass all afternoon. You paused before the door to the classroom and sighed.

You could do this.

You slid the door open to find the students all sitting at their desks. There was an air of tension to the room. Their eyes were glued to you.

You made your way over to the podium and took a breath.

Time to get this out.

"Nagisa, you asked me a while back why I'm not interested in being an assassin. Why I don’t want to participate in this assassination despite the rewards." you turned your attention from the boy in specific to the class as a whole, “And you proved yourselves capable as hell with the test. So... this is why.”

It was like having a spotlight on you.

A spotlight illuminating something you tried to forget.

"I used to work as a paramedic." You looked around at the lot of them, "It feels like ages ago now… but it was my job. There was a time in my life where I was guaranteed to see the dead and dying on a weekly basis. That was part of the job. I knew that. I… I have dealt with death for a long time…” you took a breath, clearing your thoughts, "One day we were called out to a scene. Homicide. Most of the victims DOA. From what I understood someone who knew the father had broken in and hunted them down in their own home. We came just too late to stabilize the mother but there was one other survivor.”

_ She’d tried to say something but she was too out of it. Too far gone. Too much blood in the carpet and not enough in her body... _

The kids were silent, listening.

_ You tried… _

_ God help you. _

_ You tried... _

“The police knew there was a child in the house. The mother was surrounded by footprints where someone had walked through the blood. She had some marks… someone had tried to wake her. Someone small.” you swallowed, it was hot and you were itchy still, you made yourself focus, “The youngest daughter, six, was missing. No one could figure out where she was hiding.”

_ Wide hazel eyes stared at you from behind the cupboard door. _

“She had wedged herself under the bathroom sink and was bleeding pretty bad. That’s… how we found her. My partner spotted blood dripping from the cabinet. ”

_ She had been so tiny and that gash on her leg had been so big… _

“She kept begging for her parents. Asking why we weren’t helping them. Why we weren’t helping her mom.” you said quietly.

_ Tears streaming down her little face, screaming questions at you… _

_ A kitchen knife clutched in her tiny hands. _

It was so fucking hot in here...

“Getting her out was… challenging. But my partner and I managed to talk her into it. A good thing too, she’d lost a significant amount of blood from a bullet wound in her leg. It took longer to get her to give up the knife she had.”

_ You’d scooped her up carefully, wrapped the wound, and made your way downstairs holding her little face against your shoulder. _

_ She didn’t need to see where her parents were. _

_ Even if she already knew. _

"They had been the kind of family that takes a lot of photos… The walls were decorated with them.”

_ Births, birthday parties, dances, weddings, graduations… _

_ Some with blood spatter decorating the frames. _

“I remember walking through the house and thinking about how these people had just been  _ erased _ . All that was left was a husk full of memories and a lifetime of trauma the girl was going to have to deal with."

You looked down at the podium for a moment, gathering yourself.

Things felt blurry. You shook your head, clearing it before speaking again.

“Five lives. That man needlessly took five lives and crushed the life of one. For a grudge.” you looked back up at them, “I worked for a while after that but… I couldn’t stomach it anymore. So many people would hurt one another for no reason. You would end up at so many scenes of violence...”

_ Tiny bloody footprints on the carpet… _

“I swore I’d never contribute to that.”

You paused, “I once lost someone very important to me, a dear friend. She took her own life but I still live with the empty space where she used to be and the pain of that loss.”

You looked across at each of them in turn. Their expressions were somber, listening.

"I want you to consider that in your journey to being an assassin. I know some of you are probably thinking 'maybe I could do this for a living' ‘maybe I’m okay with this’. If that is something you choose, I won't stop you. But I do ask this of you."

They were paying rapt attention.

" _ Consider the lives you might erase _ . Think of what goal you aim for in doing so. Don't follow through unless you are sure you can live with that weight on your soul. That balance on your scales. If there is nothing else that you learn from me in this year, let it be that."

"Well said, Mx. Reader." Korosensei said from the doorway.

You looked up in surprise.

You hadn't expected his agreement.

The light from the hall made a bright halo around him. You ran a hand over your face, rubbing at your eyes.

"Remember, children, assassination is not a profession one enters lightly. You've met many admirable assassins in your time in this classroom and, while their work may be  _ exceptional _ , you should never forget that being an assassin accrues a debt." He looked out at them all, "A debt that you will,  _ inevitably _ , have to pay."

There was a lump in your throat.

A debt that  _ he _ would inevitably have to pay...

You swallowed hard, steadying yourself.

"I won't say that assassination is without merit…" you said softly, "History has proven it can be a useful weapon to combat injustice and corruption. But understand the cost of wielding that weapon before you ever remove it from its sheath."

Korosensei nodded beside you, "Your skills as assassins can be applied in many ways. One need not kill to be an assassin of this classroom."

The room was quiet for a long moment. It was Karma that broke the silence.

“Well, that’s not really how it works is it? Have to kill to be an assassin,” he smirked, tossing an anti-sensei knife end over end in his hand.

Nakamura stifled a small laugh, “Unless you’re Nagisa.”

“Don’t forget guys,  _ we are assassins! _ ” Kayano giggled.

You couldn’t help it, you chuckled.

Nagisa went pink, “Guys, now’s not the time!”

You relaxed a bit, “Does that answer your question?”

The boy looked up and gave a small nod. You gave him a smile but you felt the quiver that ran through your face. 

“Alright boys and girls, class dismissed,” Korosensei announced and before you could register what was going on, he was guiding you out to the faculty lounge.

“I’m-I’m alright-” you tried to insist as the door slid shut behind you.

He immediately shushed you, “You’re trembling and you were holding onto that podium for dear life.”

You flexed a hand and looked at your palm. A deep indent into the skin from the edge showed you that he was right.

You almost collapsed into the chair he offered you. Everything you’d been holding back bubbled up to the surface and you felt a choked sob come out of you.

His hand came to rest on your head gently, “I think it’s best to get you home.”

You nodded, trying to keep yourself calm. He moved to the door and you heard him outside explaining the situation to Karasuma.

Had Karasuma and Irina heard?

You didn’t know…

You’d been so focused on the kids…

The edges of your vision had fuzzed…

You sighed, leaning forward with your head down.

You were an idiot.

You’d almost passed out.

The door slid open again and a tendril pressed lightly to your neck, “Reader?”

“Mmm?” you focused on breathing, getting the blood flowing to your brain.

“Are you ready to go?”

“I need my thing-”

“Already taken care of.”

“How did Karasuma take it?”

“He said it’s understandable. The children were worried, I settled them.”

“...okay.”

A hand grasped yours, helping you to your feet. He guided you out into the hall. You gave Karasuma a nod and you saw a trace of concern? Pity? You weren’t sure what it was on his face. But it was softer than usual.

Outside you were bundled close to the octopus, tentacles holding you steady against him.

“Ready?”

You gave a small nod and then you were airborne.

It was much slower than usual.


	114. One Only Understands The Things One Tames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big shoutout to Amberluvsbugs for drawing some angst art that absolutely helped inspired this chapter.

He took you to your apartment. You weren’t sure if you were happy about that or not. Right now you were just numb. You slid the door open and he followed you, one hand on your shoulder.

“I… I need a shower.”

He nodded, “I’ll get your clothes.”

You made your way to the bathroom, cursing yourself.

The story itself was… hard.

It brought to mind a lot of things you didn’t want to remember.

But the feelings that came with it…

Those…

You turned on the shower, stripping and climbing in.

You’d been so focused on that that you’d forgotten and locked your joints.

Vasovagal syncope.

Neurocardiogenic syncope.

Fainting spell.

It was a perfect storm for it really now that you thought about it. Tension, exercise in hot weather, standing with your legs locked while recounting past trauma…

God, you were an idiot.

You slid down to the floor of the shower, letting the water run over you listening as it pattered on your head. There was a click of the door opening and over the sound of the shower you heard him speak.

“Do you need anything else?”

You breathed slowly, between the heat and the near-fainting spell your stomach was doing flips.

“Ginger tea and… maybe something to eat...” you made a face, “Something easy on the stomach.”

“Alright.” the door clicked shut and you curled in on yourself.

_ Little red footprints… _

_ Little red handprints… _

_ Eyes under a sink… _

_ “Why aren’t you helping my mother?” _

_ You don’t care… _

_ You never cared... _

_ Twelve missed calls… _

_ Weight on your shoulders… _

_ We’ve got her, you can let go... _

You reached up, clutching at your head.

And like that, you broke.

The sobs wrenched out of you, leaving your throat raw. Tears ran down your face. The shower washing them away.

Why didn’t you do something?

Why couldn’t you do something?

Why couldn’t you EVER do something?

You gasped, trying to get your breathing under control.

Hyperventilating.

You focused, trying to quiet yourself.

How long you sat like that you had no idea but the shower started going tepid so you dragged yourself to your feet, scrubbing yourself almost mechanically.

When you finally made it into the living room you found your octopus sitting, worried, on the couch. He reached out, drawing you over to sit beside him and handing you a cup of ginger tea.

“Are you feeling any better?”

You leaned against him, trying to keep your breathing under control, “Some...”

He gently gathered you into his lap.

It was quiet…

You weren’t sure if you liked that or not right now.

You nursed your ginger tea, letting it work its magic on your stomach. Dinner was simple. Sandwiches. You ate slowly, your mind elsewhere.

You felt full and empty all at once.

"That story you told the children…" he approached the topic carefully, letting you take the lead.

“It was true...” you laid your head against his shoulder, “But I spared them the details.”

He pressed a kiss to your head, “I’m sorry that it’s something you experienced.”

Something about that wrenched something in you.

Tears welled up again and suddenly you were sobbing.

He held you close, “Reader...”

"I... I don't deserve you." It came out broken, more broken than you intended. Tears welled in your eyes.

_ Shit. _

"What do you mean?"

A tissue was pressed into your hand and you buried your face into it.

How did you tell him?

How did you tell him your life was one long chain of fuck ups?

"I'm a bad person. I've done bad things. And hell I can barely function at the best of times. I'm scared of people. I'm scared of connection. I-" you choked up, unable to continue.

His arms were around you. You were pulled to his chest.

You took a moment, steadying yourself but the words came thick and fast through your tears, “I didn’t answer. She called and I didn’t answer.”

“Your friend…?” he looked down at you.

You nodded, trying to breathe, “I fucked up. I’m always fucking up.” you choked, coughing for a moment, “I almost got married. Tanked that. Threw myself at work. I couldn’t resuscitate that girl’s mom. I couldn’t save them.”

_ I can’t save you...  _

You bowed your head, “I ran. I ran away…”

He petted you gently, letting you talk.

“I don’t deserve you.” you repeated, not daring to look up at him, “I don’t deserve anyone.”

"Reader..." His voice was soft, "Nothing you have done compares to what I have done."

You looked up at him in surprise, your breathing stuttered from sobbing.

"Reader, you're confessing to me like I'm some sort of saint.” his voice was soft, genuine, “I've killed people. No small number of them either. I understand that you carry guilt. But I think in the long run it's I that don't deserve you."

You felt sick.

"I just... It doesn't feel that way."

His smile dipped into a grimace and you were pulled close to him. He cradled you to his chest.

You felt guilty for even this comfort.

What had you ever done to deserve this?

Nothing.

He kissed your forehead.

You didn't deserve-

A tentacle covered your eyes. Tendrils pressed to your pulse, one hand rested over your heart.

"Shhhh... I'm here." 

You whimpered. You ached inside.

You didn't deserve this.

You didn't deserve love.

You didn't deserve him.

How could you have forgotten?

His tentacles held you close, his voice soft, "It's okay. It will be okay. Breathe with me..."

Haltingly, you managed to slow your breathing, combating sobs as you did so.

"No one is perfect, Reader. We weren't made to be. I'm a superhuman and I have my weaknesses and foibles. What is important is what you do once you know them. Do you hide from them? Work to confront them? Understand them?"

You shook your head, "I don't know."

"Why did you move here?"

You froze.

"To get away."

"From what?"

You let out a rush of air.

The tentacle around your eyes withdrew, he held you gently against his chest.

"From everything." You sagged against him, "Rachel's mom, who I was always close to before. I couldn't look her in the face knowing I didn't pick up when Rachel called sooner. My parents. I felt like they'd wanted me to just... Never talk about it because it was uncomfortable. I couldn't talk about my work with them either. Work. My ex… they thought I didn’t care… And then… then what I talked about today. I was working in suffering so long... I know there's suffering here too but... I'm not working in it here..."

"Until this year." He said softly.

"And I wouldn't trade this year for the world." You sniffled, rubbing at your face as his hand left your eyes. Your cheeks were still wet with tears.

Everything felt raw with the salt of them.

"And it felt like I never could help. It felt like I made things worse."

"So you went somewhere new."

You nodded.

"But you were scared..."

You nodded again.

It was quiet for a long moment, his face tinged with blue.

Finally, he softly spoke, “Reader… life can be full of suffering. While we should seek to avoid contributing to it we should also understand that there is no way to avoid participating in it. By existing we cause harm. We kill things every day. In the physical and emotional sense. The best that we can do is to learn from our mistakes and move forward.”

"That's not how others see it," you said. It came out raw and painful.

_ Why aren’t you helping my mother? _

"Others will see us how they please. What's important is what you choose for yourself." he ran a hand over your hair, “You have come so far.”

You laughed bitterly, “It doesn’t feel that way...”

“But you have.” he tipped your face up, "I'm proud of you."

Wh-what???

That…

That was almost painful to hear.

"Even with all of this fear, this guilt, this pain... You still have helped our class. You've helped me. You've made connections and reached out... Even in the most painful of circumstances..." his hand rested against his tie, "That is a major accomplishment for someone who has been isolated for so long." His voice softened, "I'm proof of that."

Isolated...

He had been. 

In so many ways. 

And Aguri had stood at that glass wall and coaxed him closer.

You were reminded, suddenly, of the story of the little prince and his taming of the fox.

_ But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others.  _

Aguri had tamed him, changed him.

_ Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow.  _

And in turn, he'd done the same to you.

You clung to him, burying your face in his front and his hand gently caressed your back, "I love you."

"Iloveyoutoo."

It was muffled against his front but he didn't seem to mind.

_ One only understands the things that one tames. _

You gave a soft, shuddering gasp as your body began to recover from your meltdown.

He gently nuzzled you, "What was it you said to me before?"

You looked up at him, confused.

"I love you no matter where you came from or what you've done or what you're called."

Tears welled up and you found yourself sobbing again, your face in his front, tendrils tangled gently around you. 

You did.

And that he felt the same for you...

It challenged so many things inside yourself.

It hurt. It ached being seen so clearly but...

At the same time...

It made you feel whole.

He whispered soft comforts to you as you cried. A tissue was pressed into your hands.

He let you sob until you couldn't anymore. Until all that you could manage were shuddering breaths.

You snuggled close against him as he stroked your hair. In the hushed calm, the words of the story came back to you.

_ Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. _


	115. Tell Me About Her

You woke up sometime later in your futon. You felt sore and dry. As you shifted something stirred next to you.

He was laying next to you, a tentacle encircling you, his free hands were… what was he doing? You squinted.

“Good evening.” he smiled down at you, “Feeling better?”

You took stock of yourself.

Physically? You felt like hard-boiled hell.

Emotionally? Tired but better.

Mentally? Tired… but better.

“Yeah… some.” you gave him a weak smile.

He gave a small hum, “The last time you said that, you had a panic attack a few moments later.”

You laughed a little and sighed, dropping your head back against the pillow, “I know...”

He seemed to take your laugh as a good sign. You felt a kiss press to your forehead. You opened your eyes, looking up at him, “What are you doing?”

“Adjusting a few future tests for the students.” he smiled down at you, “Busywork, really.”

“I’m sorry...” you sighed, you felt your jaw quiver.

Fuck, not again.

“No.” he said, “Apology refused.”

You opened your eyes in surprise, “Wh-”

He smiled down at you, “Because you don’t have to apologize for having emotions.”

That shut you up really quick.

“It’s natural that you carry guilt for your past. It’s a normal, human response. However, the feeling does you no good. There will always be things outside of your control. Things you cannot fix. Tell me… was your friend’s mother ever unkind to you after what happened? Did she blame you?”

You shifted, uncomfortable, “Not… not that she said.”

He brushed a tendril over your hair, “So, where does this blame come from?”

You sighed, knowing the answer already, “Myself… I just… I can’t help but think what if…”

He nodded, “‘What if?’ is a question that can become overwhelming and in a case such as this? It’s not a question one can hold one’s self too.”

Closing your eyes a sudden memory bubbled to the surface. Lovro’s rough voice echoed in your ears.

_ “It is the nature of the assassin. Pasts are either liabilities or just another day. Why concern yourself with them? They have shaped you but they do not control you.” _

And your response…

You sighed, “It’s okay to look back at the past, just don’t stare at it too long.”

“Precisely.” he replied, looking down at you, “Always move forward. If not for yourself then in honor of those you’ve lost, failed, or hurt. Be better. Don’t let that be in vain.”

You stared up at him for a long moment and suddenly felt incredibly selfish.

You weren’t the only person who’d lost someone here.

Not the only person who felt they’d failed someone…

Reaching up, you pulled him down, kissing him suddenly. He made a surprised sound but allowed himself to be tugged close to you, kissing you gently.

“I’m sorry.” you said softly, “I’ve been all in my feelings tonight but… you’d understand more than others...”

He chuckled, kissing your forehead, “You never have to apologize for having emotions, Reader. We’ve both experienced pain, loss, and regret.” he nuzzled you, “What did you think I spent some of my time doing when I first escaped to the mountain?”

You looked up at him, curious.

“When my form had settled I cried.” he said softly, “I cried for everything I’d lost, everything she’d lost, everything I’d missed… Grief is a heavy thing but eventually, one gets accustomed to the weight.”

Gently, you brushed your hand across the hole in his tie, nodding.

“But the important thing...” he kissed your forehead again, “Is that we don’t have to carry that weight alone… So…”

Suddenly there was a pillow fort around you-

He’d moved you to the living room.

A tray lay on the floor before you with tea.

A stick of pocky was offered to you.

“Tell me about her?”

You felt your eyes well up with tears as you accepted it.

“Sure...”

The next two hours consisted of you telling him all about Rachel. One of your closest friends from your teen years. Her favorite movies and books, her laugh, her family and it’s dysfunction, her stupid cat that kept getting in trouble, her smile…

It poured out of you.

Years of not talking about her.

You rummaged in your folders on your computer and found photos of her.

“She seems like a charming young woman.”

“She was…” you sighed, “Her family… they didn’t really… understand I think. What was going on with her. Her dad wanted things to just be normal. Her mom did too but I think she had more of an idea of what was going on...”

“So, she wasn’t treated?” he asked quietly.

You shook your head, “No. They were pretty hush-hush about depression and mental health. My family was too. It… it sucks being a kid and everyone telling you it’s normal and fine. Or that you’ll grow out of it. Or even worse that it’s just  _ how you are _ like it’s some kind of ingrained thing that can never get better…”

His hand came to rest against the tattoo on the back of your neck.

You leaned against him with a sigh.

“Hey...”

He looked down at you, curious.

“Thanks for this...”

He chuckled, “You’re welcome.” his tentacles tugged you over into his lap.

You laid your head against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart.

"I'm... I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything sooner..."

A hand ran through your hair, "You weren't ready." His tone was gentle, "There are many things we haven't shared with one another."

"But... I want to.” you looked up at him, “I want to know you and for you to know me."

He kissed your forehead, "Reader, you already know more about me than anyone I've known in my life."

"It's just..." you struggled to put it into words.

"You want everything you can hold onto before March." He offered the suggestion gently but his tone told you he already knew this was the case.

You nodded, "I... I want to see you as you are."

That seemed to have an effect on him. He chuckled in a soft, sad way.

"You do." He caressed your cheek lightly, "You are the second person to ever truly see me. And sometimes you see parts of me I didn't even realize were there."

You hugged him tightly and felt his arms wrap around you. The pair of you stayed that way for a few moments before he finally whispered, “We should get you to bed. I’m sure Mr. Karasuma is going to have you doing more drills tomorrow...”

You sighed, “...I guess.”

The pair of you curled up in the pillow fort and you buried your face in his front.

“I love you.”

“And I, you, Reader.”

The room was still and hushed. The rise and fall of his chest and beating of his heart grounding you alongside the scent of old books and summer rain.

Your dreams were filled with ghosts.

But for once, they weren’t unhappy ones.


	116. Paperweight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyy welcome new readers! Also, I got more chapters coming. I've been on a roll.

The next day you woke up to the smell of coffee. You sat up, confused for a moment about where you were. Slowly, your brain caught up.

That’s right…

The pillow fort.

Your living room.

You rubbed at your face and peeked out of the blankets to see tentacles waving merrily about in your kitchen.

“Oh good, you’re awake!” he called over, “Your coffee is ready!”

You stretched. After yesterday’s events you were aching.

He peeked through the kitchen window at you with his usual grin, “Feeling better?”

“...not physically.”

He was by your side in an instant, “I could assist!”

You squinted at him. Something had him extra chipper today, “What are you up to?”

He took mock offense, “Up to? I’m not up to anything, Reader, I’m simply trying to ease your pain!”

With a sigh, you leaned against him. 

Fuck it. You were too tired to care.

“Sure. Assist away.”

Tentacles were suddenly on you, twisting, pulling and cracking things. You didn’t even know your body could MAKE noises like that. He deposited you in a chair at the kitchen table and it all hit you at once.

You practically melted into the chair.

“Hoooooooly fuck...” you groaned, “What the hell?”

He chuckled, “Massage and chiropractic adjustment, it seemed like you might be in need of one. Now, hurry up and eat, we have to be at the school today. Reviews for the new semester and all!”

That’s right... more than drills, less than class then. You rubbed your face and when you pulled your hands away a plate of pancakes and chopped fruit had appeared in front of you like magic. He bustled back into the kitchen, humming to himself.

…

He was definitely up to something…

You turned your attention to your pancakes.

As expected, they were delicious.

Korosensei’s good mood continued on the way to school which only made you more suspicious really. He was generally in a good mood but this was practically giddy excitement.

What had gotten into him?

When you made it up the mountain you stopped having time to think about it. First you ran into Karasuma on your way to the faculty lounge, he paused as though appraising you, then gave you a slight nod.

“Good morning.”

“Uh… morning.” you gave a small wave, sitting your things down at your desk.

“...” he paused at the door, “Everything alright?”

You looked up at him in surprise and gave a small nod, “I’m fine.”

Another nod and he headed out into the hall again.

…

You must have worried people yesterday.

You made a face.

You hated worrying people.

Irina swept in a few minutes later and tossed her things down on her desk, taking a seat. She looked across the table at you for a long moment.

“Uh...” you gave her a small wave, “Morning?”

“What was that yesterday?”

“What?” you sat back, looking at her.

“Were you really about to pass out from telling that story?” she made a face, “Because if so, I don’t know if this is a good position for you.”

You rolled your eyes, “It wasn’t just the story. I was overheated and I was a dumbass and locked my legs.”

She squinted slightly, as if trying to suss out how much of that was truth, “You’re the medic, you’re not going to like, pass out treating the kids or something are you?”

“Have I done that yet?” the response came out a bit more snappy than you intended.

She pursed her lips, “Touche. Look, just… take care of yourself alright? Get your shit together. You have people relying on you here.”

If you didn’t know Irina you would have been insulted but given her attitude and tone? This was practically a get well card.

You decided to press your luck a little.

“And what about getting your shit together?” you gave her a look, “You and Karasuma are doing a lot of tiptoeing around one another.”

She huffed, looking away, “Not my fault the man is dense as a brick. I need a smoke.”

And with that, she was gone.

Interesting…

Korosensei swept in a few moments later, he gave you a grin, “Good morning, Mx. Reader! Feeling better I assume?”

What a smart ass.

You gave a nod, “Yeah. Much.”

“Excellent! I want you in tip top shape for tomorrow.”

“... What’s tomorrow?” you looked at him sidelong.

“Oh just a fun little activity I have planned for the class. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

He looked WAY too chipper about whatever this idea was which told you that there was no way you were going to get what it was out of him.

Hurry up and wait.

Ugh.

Your sour expression seemed to only amuse him more, he leaned in smirking, “Don’t worry! It’ll be fun.~”

Fun for  _ whom _ you wondered.

You sighed, “I’m going to go finish sorting these supplies.”

As you pushed yourself upright you felt a tendril ensnare your wrist.

You faltered, looking over at him.

“Take it easy today.” his smile was softer, “Yesterday was hard on you.”

You gave him a nod. Satisfied, he turned back to his papers, and the tendril released you.

The office was still a mess. You’d been so caught up in your thoughts yesterday that you hadn’t finished organizing the supplies. With a sigh, you moved to pick up a box but something caught your eye.

More cranes…

You paused and peeked in the Bird’s Nest.

It was full.

Well… you could do this first then…

At your desk you dumped out the birds, sorting them.

Fifty-four.

You looked them over for a moment.

Twenty-seven matched pairs…

The whole class had gotten in on thi-

There was something else that had fallen out of the box, you noticed.

A note.

_ Mx. Reader, _

_ That story must have been hard to tell but we’re glad you told us. _

_ Thank you for being our teacher. _

  * _E Class_



You held the note in your hands for a moment, tears prickling at your eyes, before tucking it into your notebook next to the others you’d gotten from the class. This supposed log of Korosensei’s weaknesses had definitely morphed into more of a journal over the last few months. A classroom based journal but a journal nonetheless.

Fifty-four.

You jotted down the new totals.

_ Total: 326 _

_ Left: 674 _

That…

That was two more strands given what you had left over from yesterday.

Korosensei had suggested taking it easy… well, this was easy.

You set to work stringing them together.

The day seemed to go by surprisingly slowly. You heard the children participating in their reviews and the octopus enthusiastically lecturing. After hanging up the new crane strands you had turned your attention to the boxes on the floor once more, happy to have a task to distract you from your thoughts.

Yesterday and last night had been rough but a long time coming. A necessary pain.

Like a rotten tooth pulled.

You felt better for it and, it seemed, others were accepting or at least understanding of it. That gave you a measure of peace you hadn’t expected to get. You weren’t sure what you’d expected but to be accepted and thanked for sharing what had happened with others was certainly not it.

How would that go with him? You wondered.

When it came time that he told them his story.

…

Would he?

You frowned at that thought. Would he tell them or let them find out after the fact?

A rapping knock on the door frame yanked you away from that particular line of thought. It was Isogai leaning in the doorway, “Hey, Doc, we’re planning out where to put the greenhouse. Korosensei said you might want to be involved since you suggested it?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” you pushed yourself to your feet.

The boy eyed you carefully as if assessing you.

“I’m fine, Isogai.” you chuckled.

A wave of concern rushed over the boy’s face, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

You waved a hand, cutting him off, “You’re just doing what I taught you and taking stock of the situation. So, let’s go see about this greenhouse, huh?”

With a nod he led the way outside.

By the time lunch had rolled around the greenhouse plot had been decided on. Still well within sightline of the schoolhouse, a clear area with lush soil and plenty of sunshine. The octopus had sought to keep the children thoroughly distracted from you but you couldn’t avoid the occasional glance your direction. 

They were worried. It made sense.

But you hated worrying people.

“Alright, children,” Korosensei addressed the class at large, “It’s time for lunch. We’ll break ground on this tomorrow after school.”

There were some excited cheers from the group.

“This is going to be exciting!” Hinano was practically bouncing.

The class was dispersing when a familiar voice piped up.

“Korosensei?” Okuda signaled for his attention.

“Yes, Okuda?” he grinned down at her.

“Could I maybe grow some poisonous plants in the greenhouse for testing?”

“With the necessary precautions in place I think that would be feasible. They  _ will _ need to be clearly labeled.”

She nodded, “Of course! Thank you, sir!”

He chuckled as she ran ahead to catch up with the rest of the class heading inside.

“No protest to growing hazardous items next to food?” he glanced at you, “Are you sure you’re alright, Mx. Reader?”

“Call it faith.” you chuckled, “I trust you all to keep those things separated. I’ll probably write up a few of the guidelines myself though.”

“I would expect nothing less.” he grinned your way.

You couldn’t help it, his excitement, whatever it was about, was infectious.

You smiled.

You opted to have lunch with the octopus. As much as you wanted normalcy you were still a little embarrassed by yesterday and dealing with the aftermath of overwhelming feelings. Being around the children seemed like it would be a bit much at the moment. However, to your surprise, it wasn’t just the two of you.

Karasuma and Irina sat across from you.

When was the last time all four of you had actually eaten lunch together?

You… couldn’t really remember. Everyone was either in or out or running around so much lately and summer had been, well, summer.

Was it the boat? No, not really. They sat apart from you.

And of course it had been the same on their ‘date’.

Maybe the nomikai?

This was probably the longest time you’d spent with all four of you in one spot since you roomed together on the ferry.

“Soooooooooooo, what does everyone want for lunch?~”

…

He was offering to buy them lunch too now?

Probably wanting to pump them for information if you knew him.

“You buying, octopus?” Irina sounded suspicious as she looked up from the papers she was grading.

“I’ll chip in.” you chimed in, pulling out your wallet and tossing it to Korosensei, “Karasuma, you want something too?”

The pair looked at you both with the same dubious stare. You wanted to laugh at how similar they looked but suppressed the urge.

“...fine. Saves me the trouble.”

Orders were placed with the octopus and he shot off out the window.

“...What are you two up to?” Irina asked, glaring at you.

“Huh?” you looked up at her, “What do you mean?”

“Since when does the octopus buy lunch for anyone but you?” she leaned forward, narrowing her eyes.

You shrugged, “I dunno, maybe he’s feeling nice?”

Karasuma didn’t look up from where he was typing, “He’s probably still feeling cocky after eating his way through a portion of the ministry’s budget.”

“Maybe.” you agreed.

That could definitely be why he was so bouncy, now that you thought of it. Hell, given how much he’d had of it, you wouldn’t be shocked if he was still riding a sugar high from that thing.

Irina sat back with a huff, “I don’t trust it.”

“I mean… it’s free food?” you shrugged, “And he’s never poisoned me or anything so...”

You noticed a slight glance between the two of them for a moment then they seemed to remember they were angry with one another and turned their attention elsewhere.

“Besides,” you looked at the notes you had up on your own laptop, “It does give some insight into his behavior.”

That caught Karasuma’s attention.

Good.

“What do you mean?” Irina made a face, “I mean other than he love food more than a fat kid loves cake?”

You chuckled, “Well… okay, I don’t know about you two but you sorta get used to him zipping around and think of it a little more like teleportation than super speed. The thing is, he travels at 24,696 kilometers per hour at top speed.”

“Yeah, so? We already know he’s fast.” Irina scoffed.

Karasuma seemed to be losing a bit of interest but you continued.

“Yes, but here’s the thing. He travels out on lunch or during the school day. There’s actually a limited window of places he can feasibly go.”

“...How do you figure?” Irina frowned.

“He travels at 24,969 kilometers per hour. That’s insanely fast but travel still takes time. So if he wanted to circumnavigate the globe? It would take over an hour and a half. While that’s not a lot of time for us, when you think on his speed? That takes ages.” You gestured, “If you haven’t noticed, while he’s bonkers he still respects a lot of social conventions. He might be going out for lunch but he has set locations he goes because he’s relying on what places are open and serving, what hour it is in the country he’s visiting, etc. When you apply that? The window of where he can actually GO during lunch? It gets way smaller.”

Karasuma was staring at you now, processing what you were saying, “Which means a much smaller net to monitor.”

You gave a nod.

On some level you felt guilty for sharing this information but given how much else you knew about him? This was a drop in the bucket and besides, he had told you to continue to do your job.

“I need to make some calls.” Karasuma pushed away from the desk and made his way out into the hall.

Irina stared at you for a long moment, “...Is that what you’re doing during lunch with him?”

You looked at her, “Hm?”

“Studying him?”

You shrugged, “Part of my job. I actually like his company even if he’s an idiot.”

“How can you LIKE his company?” she huffed, “He’s a huge perv!”

“You literally made out with our students as part of your lessons.” you said bluntly, “There’s this idiom about the pot calling the kettle black...”

She gave a frustrated shriek, “That’s NOT the same AT ALL!”

You chuckled, “You sure?”

“YES!” she looked a touch offended, “I’m teaching them life lessons. Things that they NEED to know. Seduction isn’t a simple process you know!”

You weren’t sure about that. It had been pretty easy with the octopus

At least in your experience.

“He’s also less of a perv around me.” you shrugged, “Or maybe I just don’t notice it as much. This place is kinda crawling with them. I dunno if you’ve SEEN Okajima.”

“That kid’s a whole other class.” she waved her hand.

“As far as like… why I like his company.” you took a moment, considering how much to say. 

You didn’t want Irina inferring anything. 

Best to keep it casual.

“He’s funny.” you shrugged, “I know that you and Karasuma kinda get the brunt of it sometimes but the shit he pulls can be really hilarious. Also I mean, food from other countries? Without having to go there? That’s pretty awesome.”

She gave you a long hard look like she was trying to size something up. Before she could say anything, Karasuma re-entered the room and took his seat.

You wondered if he’d ever talked to her about that whole feelings thing…

From the glances she cast his way, you assumed not.

There was a rush of wind. Irina and Karasuma slammed their hands down on the papers on the desk, both shooting your returning coworker evil looks. 

You chuckled.

Your papers were safely tucked away under the edge of the octopus’ Kyoto Guidebook.

It did make a pretty solid paperweight.

Lunch itself was a pretty quiet affair. At least at first. You relished your tempura shrimp and vegetables, finishing off the meal with a bowl of soba he’d brought you.

Irina and Karasuma ate but both kept shooting glances. At him. At you. At each other.

Between unburdening yourself yesterday and the octopus’ infection excitement you were feeling lighter.

You wanted to see the two of them lighten up too. But how would be the best way to approach it?

From what you had gathered she liked him and had said as much and he didn’t believe her. Which…

Yikes.

That sucked.

But on the other hand, you could understand why. You’d seen Irina turn her charm on and off like a lightbulb. 

How could someone trust that to be genuine?

Your thoughts drifted to Okinawa and suddenly things started clicking into place. Irina had opened up to him, told him something real about herself. A big risk in her profession from what you’d gathered from the octopus.

But his response, you assumed, had been more mild than you or she expected.

A hand on her shoulder didn’t inherently mean romance.

Maybe room service had just been room service.

No wonder she got snappy when you asked if he was with her the other morning.

You winced at the thought.

“SO I have a proposition for tomorrow’s lessons!” Korosensei’s voice yanked you out of your thoughts. The three of you turned your attention to him.

“Yes?” Karasuma looked infinitely tired already.

“Well,” his grin went wickedly sharp and you already knew you were in for something ridiculous, “I’ve noticed you’ve started the children on parkour. I know they’re just beginning but given their previous training I think you would agree with my assessment that they’re several steps ahead of where they would be otherwise.” he looked across at Karasuma.

“That’s accurate.” Karasuma sat back, crossing his arms, “Everything from last semester and over the summer was building the basics for this.”

“I know that you have primary control over P.E. courses but I wanted to offer up first period tomorrow for an interesting little game I have in mind.”

“Spit it out octopus.” Irina huffed.

He chuckled, “Now, now that would spoil the surprise! Karasuma and I would be in charge, the students and yourselves would be participants.”

…

You weren’t sure you liked where this was going.

“Why do you two get to be in charge?!” she demanded.

“Because we have the required specialities for the exercise. You and Reader, however, do not. Reader would be participating as team medic and you would be participating for exercise.”

“EXCUSE ME?!”

“Now, now, Irina.” he waved a finger and suddenly all teasing was set aside, his voice gentled, “It’s not escaped my notice that you have been working on your athletics regime. While not involved directly in the drills, I imagine to avoid catcalling, the scent of your perfume has been all around the track. You’ve been training in the off hours, I assume.”

She gaped like a fish for a moment before shutting her mouth and glaring at him, “Yeah? So what? I have to keep my skills sharp!”

Karasuma was looking at her with interest. Well… as interested as Karasuma ever got.

“And this exercise will be an excellent test of the work you’ve been putting in!” his tendrils merrily waved behind him.

She looked sour but you had a feeling the suggestion made sense to her.

“Fine.” she sat back looking irritated, “But if I have to deal with either you or the mini perv creeping on me-”

He chuckled, “Oh trust me, we will all be  _ far _ too busy for that.”

Now you definitely weren’t looking forward to whatever he was planning tomorrow…

Drills consisted of more breakfalls and more practice. The kids seemed more at ease seeing you rolling about with them. You supposed they just needed to see a little more normalcy from you to know you were alright.

However, you didn’t realize how at ease they were until drills had finished.


	117. Damage

You made your way to the schoolhouse, planning on cleaning up. Today had gone better than you expected and-

Movement.

You jumped back as Okano swung a leg at you. 

_ Fuck! _

There was a punch to your shoulder from Terasaka behind you. You turned, backing up to put space between you and them. You coughed. That punch had hit harder than you thought.

“I thought you were giving them a break!” Nagisa called over, worry in his voice.

Okano looked over at him, “Mr. K said to come at them like we do Korosensei.”

Terasaka charged at you, “And after yesterday they’re going to be off their game!”

You dodged back from another punch.

_ Fuck. _

You’d gotten too comfortable. Too complacent.

No time for that.

Don’t overthink.

Just  _ move. _

You countered Terasaka’s next hit, using the blocking techniques you’d been running in drills. Use their momentum, roll them away from you, break their line of action…

Another strike you failed to block.

And another.

Fuckin’ hell.

You caught a glimpse of the octopus watching.

Fuck you still were supposed to be fighting him too.

But-

You stumbled back from a strike to your head and backed up, guarding.

Terasaka grinned and you were reminded suddenly and disturbingly of Takaoka.

The octopus’ voice echoed through your mind.

_ What drives you to challenge those you know could end you? _

Terasaka charged. You blocked, throwing him to one side and rounding.

Haymaker.

Duck.

_ You cannot tolerate injustice or bullying. It makes you angry. _

You could see green stripes on the octopus from here.

There was a surge of annoyance in you.

Suddenly Karasuma’s attitude most of the time made sense.

You might love the octopus but he could be a real son of a-

FUCK!

You gasped as Okano’s foot connected solidly with your back.

Another haymaker.

Roll.

It killed your freshly pummeled back but you dove into a roll, putting space between you and your assailants.

This was riling you.

Which was the intention, you knew.

They targeted you using the lessons the octopus taught them.

Keep your target off-kilter.

_ And when you’re angry you take on those that are instigating the trouble. _

The pair of them came at you together this time. You ducked a hold Terasaka was throwing your way, narrowly avoiding another kick from Okano.

Fuckin’ hell.

You needed space.

You needed to  _ think _ .

Catching Terasaka across the chest, you shoved bodily, causing him to stumble back into Okano.

Words came back to you suddenly.

_ Tap into your inner bloodlust. _

Okano flung another kick at your head.

Block.

You ducked under Terasaka’s next blow, rolling him across your back and to the ground.

_ I have about as much bloodlust as a sheep. _

Terasaka rolled to his feet, smirking, “You’re getting better but you still got nothing on Mr. Karasuma or the octopus.”

The octopus…

Your octopus.

Your idiot.

Something clicked.

_ As much of a pacifist as you are, Reader. If another person is in danger you are primed to kill. _

These kids were going after you…

The same way they would go after  _ him _ .

You remembered how helpless you had felt during the Okinawa assassination attempt. 

He was  _ supposed _ to die.

You couldn’t do  _ anything _ about it.

And you couldn’t tell anyone how  _ frustrating _ it was.

_ You are the most dangerous when other’s lives are threatened. _

Suddenly you felt something entirely different.

_ I can’t save you… _

You were fucking  _ pissed _ .

It wasn’t  _ fair _ .

It had never  _ been _ fair.

_ Why couldn't you ever do something? _

Before you could think, you launched yourself at the boy. There was a momentary flicker of surprise before he grinned, blocking your strikes.

“ _ That’s _ more like it.”

Somehow that made your blood boil more.

You  _ wanted _ to defend him. You  _ wanted _ to save him. You  _ wanted _ him to be  _ safe _ .

And not a damn person here understood that.

Motion to your left. You grabbed Okano’s leg as it came at you, wrenching her off balance. As she went down, you guarded your ribs against a hit from Terasaka.

The memory of him on the floor of the classroom, tentacles missing with Itona standing over him surged up in your mind.

Him swollen with water, tentacles an angry red while Itona railed on him.

The chapel on the water exploding into light and sound.

The pale blue of his face, the way he trembled after throwing you.

The nervous look when you surprised him the morning with the cranes.

You would do  _ anything _ to keep that look off his face.

You swung viciously at the boy, making him jump back. Another swing. This one connected in a glancing blow.

Not good enough.

_ You fear injuring those you care about.  _

Dodging another of his swings you cuffed him hard on the side of the head. He stumbled back and you made another swing, this one connecting more solidly.

Terasaka staggered and you tackled him to the ground, sitting on his chest, one arm over his throat.

_ You think nothing of  _ **_defending_ ** _ them. _

“Mx. Reader!” Okano’s voice came from behind you, keeping your hold on Terasaka you glanced back, ready to block if necessary.

Instead you were met with a look of concern. You looked back down at Terasaka who smirked up at you, you could see spreading redness and swelling crossing his face, a trickle of blood smeared across his upper lip, “Good round, Doc.”

You quickly sat back, alarmed, “Oh my god, Terasaka, I’m so sorry.”

He laughed, sitting up slowly, “Bullshit. You did good.”

Karasuma jogged over to the three of you, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah.” Okano looked over at him, “We’re alright.”

Karasuma looked between you and Terasaka, pausing.

Guilt surged up, “I think I went a little too har-”

“Good work!” Karasuma’s voice was filled with pleasant surprise.

_ What? _

He offered a hand up to Terasaka, “We’ll have to get those cleaned up. I’m sure Mx. Reader can help you with it.” he looked down at you and offered his hand, “That was much better.”

The compliment didn’t reach you. You were more concerned with Terasaka. Carefully, you reached out to take the boy’s chin in hand, he jerked back on reflex. You gave him a look and grabbed his chin, tipping his head to examine the damage.

“We need to get ice on that eye before it gets much worse. Looks like the lip won’t need stitches, thank god.” you looked to Okano, “Can you get my kit and an ice pack?”

Karasuma was watching you, bemused, “Mx. Reader.”

“Yes?” you didn’t look at him, too busy checking out the side of Terasaka’s head for injury.

“You did  _ well _ .”

“I hurt someone.” you said bluntly, “Which I know is the intention but now I have to fix it.”

He watched you for a long moment, “It’s progress.”

“It feels like damage.” you sighed.

Okano trotted over with a kit and you passed Terasaka the ice pack for his face.

“Doc, I don’t know what you’re so wound up about. You did great!” Terasaka grinned at you, blood from the cut on his lip coloring his teeth.

“I did.” you took a breath, “I know that.”

How close had you been to seriously injuring the boy?

You weren’t sure.

You hadn’t put pressure on his windpipe but your mind had flickered there momentarily.

Not a comforting thought.

“Then why do you look like you just had to put down the family dog?” he asked, skeptically.

“I don’t like hurting people.”

“Coulda fooled me!” he laughed.

You winced, “I don’t want to risk seriously injuring one of you.”

The boy’s expression shifted to a smirk worthy of the octopus, “Now, look, you did good but not  _ that _ good.”

“And you seem to forget,” you almost jumped as Korosensei arrived, “That you have others here to intervene if things go too far. Though, with your disposition, I highly doubt that would happen.”

Karasuma gave a nod, “The target’s right. You're not engaging in this in a bubble. Others are observing.”

That was true… Karasuma or Korosensei could easily have stepped in and stopped you.

You had just sort of forgotten anyone else was there…

“Of course, this doesn’t mean this exercise is over.” Karasuma continued.

You looked up at him in surprise.

“Remember, you’re doing this until they can’t land a hit on you.”

You made a face and Okano grinned at you, “Sorry, Mx. Reader, you’re stuck with us!”

“Actually, they’re not.” Karasuma chuckled, “I think it’s time to rotate out your attackers. Expose you to more fighting styles.”

Your stomach dropped.

You were going to have to fight  _ more _ of the kids?

Karasuma saw your expression and actually laughed, “Relax. It’s not a death sentence.”

“Who next then?” you asked with a resigned sigh.

He looked down at you with a smile.

God, that was unnerving.

Without breaking eye contact he called out, “Karma! Nagisa! You’re up!”

Well… _ fuck _ .

Karma and Nagisa took the news in two very different ways.

Nagisa looked at Karasuma, “Are you sure that’s a good idea, sir?” 

“Oh this is gonna be fun.” Karma kept his eyes on you.

“Difference in perspective aside, Mx. Reader is part of the team.” Karasuma said, looking at Nagisa, “And this is part of their training.”

Nagisa still looked unsure but gave a nod.

Terasaka smirked, “I’ll give you guys what we know about their fighting style.”

Okano nodded, “Yeah.”

“Oh you mean that whole running scared act yeah?” Karma grinned, “Yeah, I’ve been watching.”

“Ground rules.” you said, looking at the two of them, “Not during my classes, not during parkour training, and hand to hand combat only.”

Nagisa gave a nod, “We can work with that.”

“So that means you’re free now...” Karma eyed you.

Ahahahaha ha…

Great.

“I think Mx. Reader has had enough for the day.” Karasuma said, “But I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities tomorrow.”

Karma shrugged, “Fair enough. Gives me more time to plan anyway.”

Greaaaaaaaaat…

“I’m going to head home.” you said, running a hand through your hair, “I need to get cleaned up.”

“Have a good one, Doc.” Karma called after you, “You’ll need your rest for tomorrow.”

Nagisa gave you an apologetic wave.

Well…

At least the kids seemed to have adjusted to the news from yesterday.

Karma was certainly not using kid gloves.


	118. Every Time I Think I Can’t Love You More...

You got changed in the bathrooms, taking a moment to brush your fingers across the crane necklace the octopus had given you.

God…

You wanted to keep him safe…

Burying your face in your hands, you sighed.

What were you going to  _ do _ about this?

You were gathering up your things when you got a text message from your idiot in question.

[Excellent work today! What do you say we celebrate at my place?]

[Sure.]

He gave you a meeting place and you shrugged on your bag, heading out lost in your thoughts. 

How long could you keep this up? How long before you actually tried to intervene?

He had a valid point about you defending others… you often didn’t think before you did it either. What if you  _ did _ turn that against the kids? What would you do then?

It wasn’t something you wanted to consider, but today’s events showed that you were going to have to.

You were so in your own head that you almost missed the meeting spot…

Until tentacles reached out, grabbing you.

You laughed in surprise, looking up at him. He grinned down at you in response.

“Ready to go?”

You nodded.

He bundled you into his robes and you glanced up at him.

As you took off all you could think was how you wanted to protect that smile.

His house was brightly lit on the mountain. A cheery smile in the middle of the rocky mountainside. It seemed a good metaphor for, well, everything lately.

He led you inside, humming happily.

You took off your shoes.

“Now.”

You looked up in surprise at his voice. 

His hands settled gently on your shoulders, “You settle in, I’ll get us some dinner.”

You gave a small nod and in flash, he’d changed into one of his ridiculous disguises and zipped off.

Shaking your head, you deposited your things in his room and made your way to the bathroom.

The shower was fantastic, not just to wash away the sweat but it soothed aching muscles and sore spots. You didn’t look forward to whatever Karma and Nagisa would have cooked up for tomorrow. Admittedly, Karma being limited to hand to hand combat made things significantly safer but you wouldn’t put it past the boy to come up with some inventive ways to bend the rules.

Then there was the matter of whatever the octopus had planned for tomorrow.

You tipped your head back, letting the water run over your face.

You needed to ground yourself.

You were safe. He was safe. Tonight you were going to have dinner with him and it was going to be fine.

Letting out your breath in a rush, you shut off the water and started to dry off…

Only to realize a problem.

You forgot your clothes in your bag.

Your bag that was upstairs.

Of course.

You sighed.

Wrapping a towel around yourself, you made your way upstairs. 

In the doorway of his room, you paused. Hanging from a hook on the wall were his robes, neatly pressed and immaculate. On the dresser nearby was his shirt, tie, and hat.

It was so rare to see them off of him. You approached, curious. 

Idly, you trailed your fingers over the tie.

A hole in his heart…

God… you wanted to protect him. To be with him…

_ It’s better to plan for what’s to come. Prepare. That is what will bring you peace. _

How did you prepare for this?

Suddenly, you were struck with an urge. An urge and an opportunity.

Reaching out, you picked up the shirt. It was ridiculously large.

Larger than life.

Just like him.

You dropped your towel and shrugged on the shirt, buttoning it.

It was comically large, slipping off your shoulder and hanging down like a dress. You pressed the collar to your face.

_ Old books and summer rain. _

Reaching out, you ran a hand over the robes hanging up, pausing when your hand hit a lump.

Wha-

You opened the robe and stared in surprise.

How the hell you hadn’t noticed this was beyond you…

Along the sides were spools of thread set up in an almost utility belt fashion. They were all sorts of colors and types. Tucked in a pocket next to them was a pair of knitting needles.

Your eyes widened as you remembered Mimura’s video from the summer.

_ “Where does he get these outfits? We have evidence that he makes them.” _

You laughed a bit. Why did you expect anything less?

Curiosity overcame you and you investigated further. 

There were zippered pockets  _ everywhere _ . 

How the hell did you never  _ notice? _

The first one was a document folder with a selection of papers ready to grade. Good lord there was a whole section next to it that just consisted of pens and pencils each with individual holders. You peeked into another pocket. First-aid supplies. Bandages, ointment, over the counter painkillers, a surgical kit with scalpel, needle, thread, sunscreen…

The next pocket you opened made you cough. Good lord. It smelled like a hair salon.

Brushes, combs, scissors, manicure sets, hair bands, a whole array of gels and styling products, body glitter, bobby pins, lipstick, nail polish…

You thought about how he’d slapped makeup on you during drills before.

It’s no wonder he could do that so quickly, he had a lot of it on hand.

The next pocket was more utilitarian. Vaseline, breath mints, toothbrushes and toothpaste, hand sanitizer, lotion, tissues, simple toiletries, and...

Ginger pills.

You smiled to yourself at that one.

And here was a snack pocket apparently. A tin of tea, protein bars, assorted hard candies, crackers…

You opened another and made a face at the smell of disinfectant. Cleaners, rags, small dust mops, brushes, dustpans…

Of course...

You peeked in others.

Wigs. Rope, duct tape, magnifying glass. Multitools. Dice, cards, ping pong paddles, a tiny chess set.

Pinup magazines.

There were so  _ many _ ...

Pockets  _ and _ magazines.

You paused when you unzipped one pocket to find multiple pockets inside similar to slots for credit cards in a wallet. Each slot had a book tucked neatly inside.

You carefully pulled out the first one.

Across the front was emblazoned  _ Irina and Karasuma _ .

Oh god…

You flipped it open to find that it was filled with profiling information on the pair. Notes on everything from exact height and weight to their favorite foods, all tracked meticulously by date.

Holy shit…

And notes on their continuing drama and-

You rolled your eyes.

_ Fanfiction. _

The next one you tugged out was labeled  _ E-Class. _ Base profiles for each kid. Notes on how they were doing, points where they needed work right alongside gossipy things like who liked who.

His updated shipping chart.

Aaaaand  _ more _ fanfiction.

You snorted.

There were a few more books in there…

The other books, from what you could see, were logs on various assassins that had tried or were trying to kill him.

The list was long…

You closed the book, packing it away.

The next pocket was-

Anti-sensei knives…

Ones he confiscated? Ones he carried?

You weren’t sure.

You made a face at the grim reminders and turned your attention back to the books.

You tugged the next one out.

_ Mx. Reader _

You paused, considering. You were kinda… well, you were rummaging through his private things…

That gave you a pang of guilt for half a second until you remembered literally everything of yours he’d gone through.

He’d seen your notes on him. This was a perfect opportunity.

You flipped the book open.

Height, weight, notes on your background, information on your career. Pretty much everything the ministry had on file already.

Then there was a series of lists.

_ Promises: _

_ The only way I will leave the classroom is by dying. _

_ We will get Itona back. _

_ I won’t look for their diary. _

_ That I will rest. _

_ That I’ll only be gone a week. _

_ That I will protect them.  _

_ They will tell me if the children are in danger.  _

_ They won’t take their anger out on the children.  _

_ That I will tell them if I run into assassins.  _

_ To tell them things.  _

That…

You smiled, pressing a hand to your mouth.

He was keeping track?

And here was…

Ohhhh boy. The weakness list.

_ Reader's Weaknesses: _

_ 1) Snacks. _

_ 2) They run into danger without thinking. _

_ 3) Prone to panic. _

_ 4) Consentacles. _

_ 5) Tends to stare. _

_ 6) Easily startled. _

_ 7) Doesn't like my disguises. _

_ 8) Stubborn. _

_ 9) Blames themself for things. _

_ 10) Rather aggressive for a pacifist. _

_ 11) Doesn't appreciate the work put into making guidebooks. _

_ 12) Closed off in their personal life. _

_ 13) Not very active. _

_ 14) Not the best at cleaning their apartment. _

_ 15) Likes ridiculous shirts. _

_ 16) Does not keep a well-stocked medicine cabinet. _

_ 17) Called me Gross in their notes. _

_ 18) Thinks Karasuma is a 'pretty chill dude' _

_ 19) Was shocked I had a love life. _

_ 20) Asks heavy questions and ruins the mood. _

_ 21) Compromises their work for favors. _

_ 22) Falls asleep during movies. _

_ 23) It's very obvious when they're trying to figure something out. _

_ 24) Has the worst timing. _

_ 25) Defensive of others to their own detriment. _

_ 26) Gets hurt very often for a health teacher. _

_ 27) Torments people by bringing up their mistakes. _

_ 28) Responds without thinking. _

_ 29) Can't hold their liquor. _

_ 30) Becomes a tease when drunk. _

_ 31) Isolated in their personal life. _

_ 32) Thinks poorly of themself. _

_ 33) Dense as Karasuma. _

_ 34) Ticklish. _

_ 35) A stickler for safety rules. _

_ 36) Laughed at the video of my weaknesses!! _

_ 37) Bottles things up and breaks down in private. _

_ 38) Made fun of my clothing designs. _

_ 39) Compliments _

_ 40) Massage _

Then notes about you and the children. You skimmed them.

_ It’s an interesting choice. Civilian paramedic. The Ministry has gone out of its way to keep things quiet. Then again, they were accommodating enough to reach out to Principal Asano and make arrangements… _

_ They are certainly not the average school nurse. They’re also not Ministry employed… at least not usually. _

_ Which means one of the three things. _

_ They are an assassin, they have training I’ve not yet seen, or the Ministry isn’t taking my threat seriously. _

_ Interesting. I’ll have to keep an eye on them. _

He hadn’t been kidding about thinking you were an assassin. Not in the slightest.

_ They’re quite determined to keep the children safe. Karma’s attempt on my life drove them to run back up the mountain in a panic. They injured themself in the process but… _

_ That’s certainly a point in their favor. _

_ They also thought nothing of threatening me. _

_ ME. _

_ And yet they carry no weapons. _ **_Fascinating_ ** _. _

_ I think they might be fun. _

_ I’ve begun to notice that Reader enjoys snacks and they seem quite happy to share. _

_ They called me a friend today. _

_ Unexpected. _

_ I believe I may have ruined my reputation already. Irina Jelavic is a beauty, to be sure, but she’s also incredibly overconfident. I, of course, paid her back for her faulty attempt with grooming. _

_ It’s delightful how much such a simple thing irritates my attackers. _

_ But my grooming… it might have been a bit much. What can I say? It’s quite delightful to massage a beautiful blonde and have her moaning in your hands! A healthy dose of humiliation certainly took Irina down a peg or two. _

_ But Reader seemed to think that I was doing something far more unsavory. _

_ As if I would stoop to something so low. _

_ I assured them that it wasn’t the case. I should be more careful. _

_ I wouldn’t want to lose face with my students or fellow teachers. _

_ But what fire! Reader confronted me. Alone. Perhaps the extent of my abilities hasn’t quite made an impact on them yet? And they defended a person they barely know. Someone they seem to have a low opinion of. _

_ Very interesting. _

_ They also said that my tentacles should remain ‘consentacles’. _

_ I’ll have to tease them about that. _

You snorted. Oh, you HAD to tease him about the line about the blonde. It would KILL him. Perfect payback for consentacles.

_ It happened again. _

_ Okuda’s chemical concoction worked exactly as intended. Liquefaction is going to be exceedingly useful. _

_ But what’s interesting is that Reader instinctively put themself between myself and Okuda. _

_ And yet… they complimented my teaching methods. _

_ And they teased Karasuma! _

_ They bantered with me! _

_ I think they’re going to be fun. _

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face. You had no idea that… well… that he’d really focused on any of this. That he remembered it...

_ They seem to be adapting quite nicely. I would even go so far to say that they enjoy being here. _

_ Their laugh is absolutely charming. _

Your face burned. Charming? You weren’t sure why it was embarrassing, he said these things to you all the time but…

You buried your face for a moment, grinning like an idiot.

When you’d managed to recover, you turned to the next entry

**_Our_ ** _ students. _

_ If you leave we’ll be the ones picking up the pieces. _

_ Reader seems… determined to stay with the children, assassination or not.  _

_ Their anger with me hurt more than I expected… _

_ I offered them a blade and they refused it. _

_ They demanded I swear to stay. _

_ I am having… _

_ There’s something about them. _

_ I think I might have feelings for them. _

_ That’s… troubling. _

_ I’ll need to be careful. _

_ Oh, dear. _

_ It’s only getting worse. _

_ Their scent is… oh, it’s lovely. Sweetness and fall. Woodlands. Like fallen leaves. _

You buried your face in your hands again. God… that was so EARLY. You laughed to yourself, embarrassed.

God… you were an idiot. You wished you’d seen it sooner.

_ They were out two days with a cold so I went to check in on them. I took the opportunity to do a little reconnaissance as well. As I suspected the notebook they carry contains notes on me. _

_ Adorable. _

_ THEY CALLED ME CUTE! AND BADASS!  _

_ Their home is rather standard for a Japanese apartment. Less decor than I expected. _

_ No weapons either. Anti-me or otherwise. _

_ Fascinating. _

_ They also have quite the collection of monster stories… _

_ They know that I’m human. They overheard in Kyoto. _

_ They seem surprised and almost concerned over how I ended up this way. Adorable. _

So that was when he’d seen the monster stories. You sighed, laughing.

_ They are such a distraction. Is this just the side effect of these tentacles? _

_ Am I prone to lovesickness? I would think so but Irina didn’t elicit these feelings. _

_ They brought me a bento!! IT WAS IN THE SHAPE OF MY FACE!!! And they enjoyed the post-it notes! _

_ They asked that I not go through their notes… I suppose the editing was a bit obvious. But they played a card I didn’t expect. They asked in exchange that they not tell the children that I’m human. _

_ They were frightened to ask. _

_ I don’t want that. _

_ I left the choice in their hands. _

...how long had it been since he’d frightened you? Since you worried he would hurt you or the kids?

These days you were more worried that someone might hurt him.

_ To ease their worry, I invited them on an outing today and took them to Tomita Farm. _

_ They are so charming. I took far more photos than I intended but seeing them like that, against a backdrop of flowers, savoring new things… _

_ We had to cut things short but they agreed to come back with me in July. _

_ I have never been more determined to stay alive. _

Tears welled up in your eyes suddenly and you laughed a little, rubbing at your eyes.

_ I have never been more determined to stay alive. _

Your heart was going to burst. That…

You hugged the book to your chest for a moment, not sure you were ready to read more yet. He wanted to stay alive for you… Even before…

_ The children have started a class project, they’re creating a Senbazuru for the Nurse’s Office. I shall have to contribute. _

_ There’s a lightness to their scent. A sweetness. It seems to be fondness. Do they have an interest in Irina? Karasuma? Karasuma seems more likely. _

_ Competition isn’t something I look forward to... _

_ They had a dream about killing me. _

_ And yet they won’t take up the blade. No matter how many times I put it in their hands. Interesting. _

_ I thought their dream might be indicative of something more dangerous. I put them to the test and wish I hadn’t… _

_ Reader… has feelings for  _ **_me_ ** _. I’m an idiot. _

_ Timing. Why does the timing have to be so unfortunate? _

_ That seems to be the theme of my life in this department. _

Oh... 

You remembered the night you’d told him suddenly.

_ “I'm sorry. I can't put you through that...” _

It was… putting him through something too. One of your hands idly came up to toy with the pendant around your neck.

Well… he did say you had terrible timing in your weaknesses...

_ Also their reports. I’ve noticed they’ve not told anyone about the confirmation of my species. _

_ That shouldn’t mean as much as it does. It makes sense. It was a trade. I don’t touch their notes and they don’t tell anyone… _

_ But I  _ **_wish_ ** _ that it meant more. _

_ Itona arrived today in the company of a man named Shiro. I need to get that boy away from him as soon as possible. It’s my fault in part… of course, they would use the same technology that made me to combat me. I never thought they would be so foolish as to infect a child with it. _

_ How the boy has made it this long is beyond me. _

_ Reader tried to step in on his behalf. _

_ Despite seeing what he and his guardian were capable of. _

_ They are astounding but… worrisome. If Shiro is anything like the man I think he is, mercy will be the last thing on his mind. _

_ On happier things, I look forward to spending the evening with them... _

You frowned.

Did he blame himself for Itona?

But that wasn’t his fault. He didn’t control the ministry’s approach… 

Wait… did he  _ know _ who Shiro was? It seemed to imply he did… or that he had an idea anyway...

_ The movie night was… deeper than expected. They INVITED ME TO SPEND THE NIGHT. _

_ And... _

_ I told them about Aguri. _

_ I couldn’t stop myself. _

_ What’s wrong with me? This is all too fast... _

_ Theyhuggedme. _

_ They were so… accepting of it all. I didn’t tell them everything of course but… even knowing she died because of me… _

_ They were gentle. And they promised not to tell anyone about Aguri. _

_ They were  _ **_concerned_ ** _ about me. And Itona. _

_ They asked me why I tested them with the knives. I offered them another and they turned it down. _

_ I think they understand. _

_ I trust them. _

Oh…

You smiled to yourself. It was… it meant so much… that it mattered. You kept flipping through.

_ They’re not afraid of me. _

_ They put themselves in danger today with Takaoka and I shamefully fell back into old ways, threatening them. _

_ They laughed it off. They looked me in the eye and told me they weren’t afraid. They made FUN of me. _

_ I almost… _

_ I almost made a mistake. _

_ But I wanted to kiss them so badly. _

You were going to combust. He was so precious.

_ They are such a TEASE when they’re drunk. They’re so CUTE when they’re drunk. They smell so GOOD when they’re drunk.  _

_ They SANG and it was… I would love to see that again… _

_ Then they asked me to SLEEP WITH THEM. Theycalledmecuddlefish. _

_ … I love them. _

You wanted to scream in delight which felt so fucking stupid. Burying your grin in your hands again, you laughed. God…

He was so sweet…

_ They said it and I tried to let them down gently but they refused. They know what they're getting into. They know it will hurt. _

_ And yet they want me all the same. _

_ What have I ever done to deserve them? _

_ There's so much pain in them I hadn't seen before. I worry I'm only adding to it. _

_ They asked what I wanted… _

_ As if there was any other answer but them… _

_ Though, I’m not sure they’ll still want this when they know more about me. _

Tears welled up in your eyes. He was…

Oh, how you loved him...

_ I told them everything tonight. All of it. And I offered them an opportunity to nullify the relationship. Instead, they only reaffirmed it. _

_ We kissed… _

_ WE KISSED. _

This was underlined about six times and was surrounded by hearts. You found yourself laughing through tears.

_ They had me spend the night again and it was perfect. They are perfect. _

_ And their touch… it fills a space in me I didn’t know was empty… _

_ They accept Aguri. My love for her. I… how are they so good? What did I ever do to deserve this? To deserve either of them? _

_ I fell asleep. For the first time in five months. _

_ I didn’t know I could trust someone enough to do that… _

_ They are so perfect... _

Your heart was full, your emotions not knowing where to go. You wiped at your face with the towel you’d brought up. Tears were starting to flow more freely now.

For once, not painful ones.

_ They are so concerned with me. So worried for me. I don’t know how to accept it. They want to do things for me, to care for me… _

_ It’s… new. _

_ I haven’t had someone want to help me since Aguri… not like this. It’s overwhelming at times. _

_ I’ll be gone for a week to Everest. The timing is, of course, terrible. I feel that will be a continual problem for us. _

_ So, I intend to make every moment I spend with them worthwhile. _

_ I borrowed something of theirs. A stuffed animal. _

_ I can’t bear the idea of being without their scent during this. _

_ It’s a wonderful reminder of what I’ll be coming back to. _

_ We’re both being careful. I’m happy I’m not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the newness of it.  _

_ They told me not to feel bad for loving Aguri. _

_ How are they so good to me? _

_ Oh, and their touch is so good. I never knew I needed touch so badly… _

_ I also didn’t realize I was ticklish. _

_ The children can  _ **_never know._ **

You were crying uncontrollably at this point. From love and laughter.

This year was the strangest of your life but you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

_ Okinawa is upcoming. I am proud of my students and have full faith in them but at the same time… _

_ I just want a little more time with Reader… _

_ This is so new. I don’t want to lose it so quickly… _

You would have cried harder had it not been for the note you spotted in the Okinawa entry which made you cackle.

_ THEY TOOK ME IN THE BATH WITH THEM. I WAS IN THE BED WITH THEM. THEY WERE TEASING ME. IN MY ULTIMATE DEFENSE FORM. _

_ THAT IS ALTOGETHER UNFAIR. _

You flipped ahead, skimming entries.

_ I’ve asked them to keep more than I intended from the children. _

_ Tonight I told them about Micah. I hadn’t intended to… _

_ There’s so much I don’t intend to share with them that they draw out of me… _

_ They startled me tonight and I threw them. No damage, thankfully. I thought for sure they would be livid or afraid. _

_ Instead, they were worried about  _ **_me_ ** _. _

_ Their capacity for understanding will never cease to amaze me… _

_ They bought a padlock for Aguri and I as well as one for the two of us. _

_ They speak about her with appreciation, with kindness… _

_ She would have loved them so much. _

_ They have visited Aguri’s grave… they talked to her… _

_ It’s wonderful being able to talk about her. To have someone else know her. _

_ I didn’t realize how much I wanted to share her with someone. How much it hurt to keep it in… _

You hoped that wherever Aguri was, she knew she was still loved. Still thought of.

Letting out the grief was an important step in processing it. You knew that all too well, recent events casting it into an even clearer light.

Counselling hadn’t been enough. You needed to share it with someone. Have someone willing to go through it with you.

That you could do that for one another…

It felt like the greatest blessing in the world.

_ Reader has been struggling to practice combat with the children so I’ve taken it upon myself to nudge them in the right direction. _

_ As of today, they are trying to assassinate me as well. _

_ A mock assassination, of course. _

_ It’s amusing to watch them try. And, frankly, dolling them up is quite fun. _

_ Their anger can be such a useful tool if they will just learn to harness it properly. I think, though, that they’re heading in the right direction. _

_ It’s so delightful… watching them grow. _

So this asshole HAD been trying to push you into learning something.

And it had worked.

Goddammit.

_ I wish I could help them understand how important they are to this classroom. _

_ How important they are to the children. _

_ How important they are to me. _

_ This year wouldn’t be the same without them. _

_ Somehow, despite all of their doubts about themself. _

_ They have no doubts about us. _

_ There’s so much darkness behind them. I hope that before the end they’ll entrust me with it. _

Oh…

_ This year wouldn’t be the same without them. _

Burying your face in your towel for a moment, you breathed, just trying to get your emotions under control.

It was so… much.

When you felt ready to continue, you flipped through the pages.

_ I took them to the New Zealand home. They were absolutely enchanted and, as a result, absolutely enchanting. _

_ Again… things I didn’t plan to say came out. _

_ We talked about Ian. _

_ Reader was understanding. _

_ Beyond understanding. _

_ How can they be so accepting of all of this? _

_ They said their home is  _ **_our_ ** _ home… that I’ll always have a home with them. _

_ Every time I think I can’t love them more... _

You flipped through pages to more recent entries.

_ It feels ridiculous to be so happy over something so small. It’s such a small gesture in the face of everything else they do. It’s a dress. They see me in clothing like it all the time… _

_ But they understood. They accepted. _

_ I… I never thought such a thing could mean so much. _

_ It never meant so much before. _

_ Everything means so much  _ **_more_ ** _ now. _

Oh… Oh, what a darling…

You were grinning like an idiot now, there was nothing you could do about it. You brushed the towel across your face again, drying the last traces of tears.

God, you loved him...

_ Telling their story was harder on them than I expected. I’m happy to know it but… I wish it had been more on their terms. They set the challenge but the result was very rough. _

_ They say they don’t deserve me. They think they’re a bad person.  _

_ It would be laughable if it weren’t so heartbreaking. _

_ Imagine telling the man who killed over a thousand that you were the bad person. _

_ I don’t know how to express to them how vast the difference is between our pasts. _

_ They smell blood and think of saving lives. I smell blood and think of taking them. _

_ I can think of hundreds of ways to kill someone. Ending lives is easy. _

_ Cultivating them, caring for them, saving them? That is  _ **_infinitely_ ** _ harder. _

_ I never would have thought twice about it before them or Aguri. _

_ They see their crying as shameful and yet they never once shame me for mine. They have such capacity for love and understanding… perhaps because they deny it to themself. _

_ I hope that I can change that. _

You felt your heart break. He…

He really thought these things about you… he…

It was hard… even seeing it like this, to accept but…

You felt tears again and wiped at your face, smiling.

There was a soft sound from the doorway and when you looked up you saw your octopus standing there, staring.

_ Shit. _

"I- uh"

"Reader, are you going through my robes?"

"Uh… yeah kinda? I didn't know you carried so much stuff in them…"

"And that would be  _ my _ shirt you're wearing…"

You felt your face burn.

"I- uh..." you laughed a bit, "I wanted to see how it fit… and got um… distracted. I'm sorry."

He was a soft, gentle pink as he approached, scooping you up in his arms.

"You look positively charming."

Your face was on fire, you laughed, "I look ridiculous!"

He held you close, nuzzling you, "It's adorable. And..." The pink in his cheeks deepened, "I'm touched to see you wearing something of mine..."

His smile dipped into a frown, "You've been cryi-"

His eyes settled on the book in your hands and he yelped, snatching it away.

You laughed, "What? You got to read my notes on you."

He was bright pink. You laughed and leaned in, kissing him.

“They’re really sweet...” you said softly, cupping his face, “Just when I thought I couldn’t love you more.”

There was a soft sound of embarrassed alarm from him but he leaned into your touch, his grin soft.

“You know, if you were interested in going through my pockets you could have _ asked _ .” he chuckled, sitting down on the floor with you in his lap.

“I didn’t even know you HAD pockets!” you laughed.

He was still pink, shifting with embarrassment at the book in his hand.

You kissed him again, “You’re  _ wonderful. _ ”

"I hope my comments didn’t upset you…"

"Happy tears, I promise."

Relief flooded his face and you threw your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder. His arms came up around you, holding you close.

“I  _ love _ you.” you looked up at him, grinning.

You couldn’t help it.

There was just… there was so much.

He was so much.

“And I, you.” his reply was soft.

For a long moment, you both sat just looking at one another. 

And then you remembered...

“SO,” you grinned at him, “you like having your hands on  _ moaning blondes _ huh?”

Instant magenta, “READER?!”

“Is that what gets your tentacles…” you leaned in close, smirking, “ _ quivering? _ ~”

He laughed, scooping you up and tickling you, “I’ll show  _ you _ quivering tentacles!”

You shrieked in laughter, squirming in his grasp. Suddenly you were pulled close and he kissed you. 

“That is my favorite sound.”

You felt your face heat up immediately and laughed, putting a hand on his face, “Don’t start!”

“But why? Reader, you know I  _ adore _ you.”

“Ijustsatandreadabunchofnotessayingit. Iknow.” you buried your face in your hands and he chuckled.

“I’m glad that I was late then. Perhaps now you’ll understand how much I loooooove you.~” he nuzzled you and you laughed, trying to get away.

“You are trying to kill me-” you paused, “Wait, why were you so late?”

You’d been so caught up in your discovery you hadn’t even thought to wonder why he was taking so long.

“I might have run into a touch of trouble on the way back.”

Your heart dropped, “What?”

“Not to worry! I took care of the threat non-lethally.”

That… that was not what you were worried about.

“But are  _ you _ okay?”

He laughed, “Yes, Reader. I’m _ fine _ .”

You relaxed and he kissed the top of your head.

“Now, let’s have dinner and I’ll tell you about it.”

He set you back on your feet and you paused, “I should probably change.”

“Nonsense. You look lovely.”

You felt your face heat up and he chuckled.

He was going to be the death of you.


	119. Dinner and a Show

When you got downstairs the rice cooker gave a happy little chime.

“Ah! Perfect!” he zipped past you, opening it and parting out some into bowls.

You raised an eyebrow, “I thought you were ordering food?”

“I was, initially, but the interruption caused a bit of disturbance.” he tended to a pair of small teapots that were sitting over a pot of boiling water, “So I thought that instead, I’d treat you to some of the flavors of the season!” he grinned back at you.

You noticed he’d changed from his disguise into another dress, a faded green sleeveless thing with cream-colored lace lining the straps and the bottom.

It was cute.

And you realized something.

“Hey...”

He looked at you, curious.

“You look cute.”

He went pink, “Thank you, Reader.”

“Um… do you want to be called Koroko like… only sometimes?”

He looked at you in surprise, “What do you mean?”

"Well, I mean… do you like one name over the other? Or like… do you want me to call you Koroko only if you’re wearing a dress?”

"...I don't think so." He said softly, "Korosensei came from the children and it's dear to me. Koroko I chose on my own which makes it special in its own right." He smiled, "And then there's Cuddle Fish." 

You laughed a bit.

"Which always reminds me of you being drunk and cute and very tempting," he approached the kotatsu and settled a bowl of rice and a teapot in front of you, followed by an empty bowl, "I have to say I love all three. Even more so when it's you saying them."

You laughed, running a hand over your face, "Koroko!"

He took a seat across from you, chuckling.

"Are there times you don't want me using them though?"

He thought about that for a moment, "I think it would be best to stick to professional titles at the school."

"Yeah, of course.” you nodded.

"Aside from that, however, I'm happy with all three." there was something in his tone, an undercurrent of comfort.

He sounded at peace.

It warmed your heart.

“So, what’s for dinner then? You said it was seasonal?”

He nodded, “Shin-mai and Matsutake Dobin Mushi!”

“Matsutake… that’s those forest mushrooms, yeah?”

He nodded, “Pine mushrooms. A seasonal favorite here. Matsutake dobin mushi is a soup made with dashi stock, matsutake, chicken or shrimp, mitsuba, and ginkgo nuts. Shin-mai, meanwhile, is rice from the first rice harvest. It’s said to have its own distinct flavor!”

He retrieved a yuzu from somewhere in the kitchen. Carefully, he removed the lid of the pot, revealing that it was a saucer. He placed his beside it and sliced the yuzu in half. Delicately, he lifted the pot and poured some of the broth into the bowl. You followed suit. The moment your lid was on the table he settled the other half of the yuzu onto it. The scent of dashi, mitsuba, and yuzu all mingled with a spicy, musky aroma that you couldn’t quite place. You assumed it was the matsutake.

“This is traditionally how it is served.” he was selecting morsels from the pot, placing them into the bowl before squeezing yuzu juice over it, “It’s considered to be one of the flavors of the season. Delicate but filling.”

As you squeezed juice over the broth you paused, “Wait… isn’t matsutake like… ridiculously expensive?”

His grin sharpened, “Not if you know how to forage for it. The scent is very distinct which makes it child’s play for me.”

You shook your head, “So, matsutake and assassins were why you were late.”

He gave a nod, taking a bit of his food and speaking around it, “Well… not an assassin  _ per se _ . I did give a fighter jet quite the polish though.”

You stared at him, a bite of mushroom suspended in your chopsticks, “ _ What? _ ”

He chuckled, “I imagine that’s what the pilot thought too. They really should know better by this point.”

Slowly, you took your bite, chewing it thoughtfully.

It was so easy to forget how ridiculously powerful he was despite all he did.

“At least it gave you time to snoop,” he smirked, green stripes crossing his face.

Blood surged up into your face, “Oh like you  _ haven’t! _ ”

“True, but aren’t you supposed to be  _ better _ than that, Reader?”

You rolled your eyes, “If I want to keep up with you?  _ No. _ ”

Delighted laughter came in response, “How _ adorable _ that you still think you can keep up with me.~”

You huffed.

“Though… you did keep up quite well with the children today.” the way he said it opened the floor, inviting you to talk without directly asking.

“Yeah… I did.”

“I wonder what inspired such bloodlust in you.” it came out as a statement more than a question. He sipped the broth from his bowl.

But it was a question at its heart.

“I… imagined I was protecting you.” you finally said.

He paused mid-bite to stare at you, “Is that so?”

Nodding, you turned your attention to your soup where you poked at a mushroom stalk idly, “Yeah… I mean… I know I can’t interfere but… it helps… I think.”

“You certainly showed improvement.” he said with a nod, “But I get the impression that it worries you.”

“Yeah. I didn’t mean to go so hard but I was just so…”

“Frustrated.” he supplied.

You nodded, “It worked, but I’m worried I’ll go too far.”

“Your own students have told you that harnessing your anger can be beneficial.” he considered you for a long moment, “I understand the fear but remember, you are not operating alone.”

You took a breath and nodded, “I know, it’s just… I keep thinking of Takaoka...”

“Reader...”

“I freaked out when he slapped Kanzaki.” you looked up at him, “I blooded Terasaka. I gave him a black eye.”

“You did.” he nodded, “But you did so while training. The children had their goal and you were being monitored by Karasuma and myself.”

The feeling sat in the pit of your stomach like a stone, “How am I any better than him?”

He gave a gentle sigh, his smile softening, “Because, if Karasuma or I intervened you would have stopped. Okano called out to you and you stopped.”

“What if someone doesn’t stop me in time?” you looked up at him.

His own words sprang to mind suddenly.

_ Ending lives is easy. _

_ Cultivating them, caring for them, saving them? That is  _ **_infinitely_ ** _ harder. _

A hand came to rest gently on your head, “That is something I don’t see happening. You may not notice it but even today, in your fury, you were still not going as hard as you could. Your first few strikes were glancing at best and the moment you realized what you had done you changed gears.”

“But I did hurt him… why do you think I won’t go too far?”

“Because it goes against your nature.” he said softly, “I know that it’s a big request we’ve placed on you. Should it ever become too much...”

You thought about that for a moment.

_ Helplessness... _

“No.” you shook your head, “I need to know what I’m doing so I can help the kids.”

“Even if it means giving a few of them bloody noses?” he teased.

“I’d like to try to avoid that if possible…”

“You did well.” he finished off his bowl, “It takes time to learn to finesse that skill but I have faith that you will master it.”

You polished off your soup as well.

You didn’t have a lot of faith that you’d master much of anything.

“I guess.” you sighed, sitting back a bit and making a face as your back twinged.

“Sore, I assume?”

“Yeah. The shower helped a lot though.”

“Good.” he smirked, “I’m happy that it’s proven useful.”

…

Which brought up a whole other question.

"Why  _ do _ you have a shower anyway?"

"In case I have guests!" he grinned, rising with the dishes. In a flash, they were washed and dried.

So… it was just like the spare bedroom… you guessed.

"And the tub?"

"I do enjoy a good bath on occasion."

“Baths…?”

"Yes. Remember, in certain amounts I can cope with water quite well."

That’s right… the kids had been spying on him in Kyoto…

"How does that work?"

"I can show you if you like." he gestured to the kitchen sink.

You were full and your muscles were tired but morbid curiosity won out over your soreness. Rising to your feet you joined him.

A plug was inserted in the drain and he turned on the water, allowing it to cascade over his hand. 

"Why doesn't that make you swell?"

"Because I'm producing a consistent layer of mucus to protect myself. Something a bit more difficult to achieve if I'm surprised or low on reserves..." He paused and swished his hand through the water that had collected in the sink carefully, "There."

The water, you noticed, was changing colors to an odd sea green.

"What...?"

"The mucus that has washed into the water makes it safe for me. I can thicken the viscosity as needed. If required I could easily replicate the effect of the hagfish." he sounded particularly proud of that fact.

"Hagfish?"

He nodded, "A fascinating little creature! It also produces slime but as a defense mechanism against predators. The mucus they produce expands in water to create 20 liters of slime! It’s very thick and extra viscous which clogs the gills of attacking predators."

"That's... Kinda gross."

"Nurufufufu~ It might seem that way but it's served the hagfish very well. They've remained relatively unchanged for three hundred million years." you must have made a face because he laughed again, "I understand that it seems repulsive but mucus is an incredibly versatile and beneficial substance! It is the body's first line of defense in protecting you from pathogens. It's qualities help your internal organs to function smoothly."

You dipped your fingers into the water.

"It's still... Weird."

His grin sharpened, "You don't seem to mind me."

You rolled your eyes.

The water was warm and slick. Not like a gel exactly... Something smoother and more fluid. You rubbed two of your fingers together experimentally and watched in surprise as it lathered the same way soap would. He picked up on your confusion immediately.

"As I've mentioned before, my mucus is a very all-purpose substance and I can tailor its properties as necessary."

"What does that mean exactly?"

"Well, I have rather precise control over my body and its production. If I need mucus that is more viscous or more fluid, I can produce it. If I need it to have the qualities of soap, adhesive, or lubricant, I can make adjustments."

"...wait, wait..." You held up a hand, "So... Okay. What you're telling me is that you can control the kind of mucus you make like... We have different kinds of mucus in our stomach, mouth, eyes, nose, etc and specialized membranes to produce it but you can produce whatever kind you need from your cells?"

He nodded, "Precisely. One could say I'm an organic polymer factory!"

"...that's definitely more appealing than just saying mucus machine."

There was a familiar scent of caramel from the lather, “And that caramel is you.”

He went pink momentarily, "Well, yes, if my body is producing a substantial amount of mucus then the scent surfaces. The compound that causes it normally exists in trace amounts."

“...That’s so weird.” you laughed, shaking your head.

He offered you a towel and you wiped your hands off, “Next you’re going to tell me you shit rainbows or something.”

“Oh, no.” he busied himself rinsing out the sink, “That’s no longer something I need to do.”

Wait-

“What?” you stared at him.

“I’m a creature made of antimatter, Reader.” he looked at you directly, “The only byproducts produced from the consumption of matter is energy, which I have in spades.”

You took a second to process that before sighing and pinching the bridge of your nose, “Too much...”

There was laughter, “ _ That _ is what is too much? Not anything  _ else _ about me?”

“Everything else has become normal at this point.” you gestured, “This is a  _ new _ weird.”

He only laughed harder.


	120. Lush (NSFW)

With a yawn, you stretched and winced.

“I assume you’re still tender.” he let a hand drift down to rest against your lower back.

“Yeah… a bit.”

“Maybe a hot soak would help?”

Given recent developments...

You smirked up at him, "Are you asking me to take a bath with you?"

Flustered octopus sounds, "W-well that wasn't my intention but if you would like to-"

You laughed, "Sure."

He made his way to the bathroom, filling the tub in the same way as the sink before. Just as before, the water turned a pale sea green and the scent of caramel filled the room. Reaching up, you began unbuttoning his shirt. You heard a soft noise and when you looked up you saw a neon pink octopus staring at you in surprise. Chuckling, you shrugged off the shirt, hanging it up on a hook on the back of the door. In a flash, he was out of the dress and it had joined the shirt hanging up, both now on hangers.

He climbed into the tub, looking over at you, "Are you joining me?"

You nodded, eyeing the water where it clung to his skin. The whole slime concept was so weird.

“Careful...” he offered a hand, “It can be slippery.”

“Well, yeah.” you carefully joined him, “I mean it is the equivalent of like bathing in lube.”

He made an alarmed sound and you laughed, relaxing back against him. The water was warm and weirdly viscous but not uncomfortable.

Tentacles wrapped around your waist gently and he nuzzled you. Reaching up, you ran your hand over his head. There was a happy hum in return.

You sighed, sinking down a little lower. The heat and weight of the water was actually really nice, even with the odd texture.

A chuckle vibrated through his chest, “I see you’re coming around.”

Laughing, you looked up at him, “Look, it’s comfortable and warm. I’m just not focusing on the mucus part.”

He waved a hand, “Just think of it like a bath bomb.”

You paused and held up an arm. A thin layer of green gel clung to your skin. Running a hand across it, it dripped back into the bath, “Jelly bombs.”

“Hm?”

“Lush. It’s a soap company, they make a jelly bath bomb that’s kind of like this...” somehow, that concept made it less weird.

“I’m certain we’re not using the same chemical concoction.” he sat back, his arms coming to rest on either side of the tub.

“Yeah. Probably not.” you settled back against him, “So...”

His attention turned down to you.

“That’s quite the collection of magazines in your robes.”

“Reader!” he went magenta, “You SAW those?!”

“Yeeeep.” you smirked, “Saw a lot of stuff in there...”

Fear crossed his features.

“Fanfiction?  _ Really? _ ”

There was a shriek of alarm and you cackled.

Suddenly there was a tentacle teasing at your side and you laughed, trying to get away.

Which was impossible in a bathtub full of what amounted to lubricant. He tickled you mercilessly and you tried to retaliate, to no avail. You only had two arms, he has as many as he fuckin wanted.

“I give!” you laughed.

He chuckled, sitting back.

Glancing up at him, you pouted, “You can’t keep using that to win.”

“What do you mean?” he asked innocently, “Think of it as  _ additional reflex training! _ ”

Rolling your eyes, you relaxed back against him again with a sigh.

Then you felt something trail along your hip. You seized it immediately.

He cried out and you squeezed the offending tentacle hard, looking back at him-

His face was pale blue and expression was one of extreme discomfort, "Readercouldyoupleaseletgo?"

You looked down at the tentacle you were squeezing and recognized the pearly sheen.

_ Oh! _

You released it immediately, "Oh my god, I'm sorry!"

The tentacle retracted, hugging closer to his body.

"I thought it was one of your normal ones!" 

"It's my fault for not warning you." his voice was tight, the sensitive tendril rubbing against him the way you might rub your elbow if you'd banged it.

You tipped your head up for a moment, kissing him, and then carefully reached out, petting lightly at the sensitive skin.

Continuing to stroke it, you gently coaxed the appendage to unfurl. It moved in an almost curious manner. His breathing hitched. You felt a brush against your other palm and saw a second tendril in a state more like an attentive pet, rubbing against your palm.

"They're so cute..."

"Hm?" He looked down at you in surprise and seemed to suddenly notice the second tentacle and its insistence on rubbing against you, "Oh! Ah-" he went neon pink, the tentacle moving to retreat, "I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

You laughed, "What?" You tenderly ran a hand along it again, "To grind on me?"

He made a startled noise.

"It's just that they ah- well- I didn’t realize-"

You paused, looking between him and the tentacle which seemed almost... Anxious.

"Wait..." You gently took hold of the tentacle, guiding it up to get a closer look. It curled inwards on itself.

“You didn’t realize?” you looked up at him, curious.

He was magenta, “Ah- well, no. Iwasjustrelaxedandyou’rehereand-”

The initial tentacle rubbed against your palm again and you smirked, "...these things really do have a mind of their own, huh?"

More flustered octopus noises, "W-what? No, I-"

"What? It's cute. Here…" you turned carefully, straddling him and drew the tentacle to your lips, "Let me kiss it better." 

Gently, you pressed a kiss to the coiled appendage.

Slowly, it loosened, unfurling towards you.

He was watching you now, breathless, "Ah-"

You pressed another kiss to the tendril and saw him shiver in response. The tentacle, meanwhile, pressed eagerly against your lips. A moment of panic flickered across his face and he withdrew it.

You laughed, "They give you away."

He was flustered, "Yes... Well... They do tend to react before I do..."

"Aguri was right about them bringing out the other side of you…" as you spoke you crooked a finger lightly against the underside of the tentacle, it leaned into the touch.

_ Adorable. _

He seemed to almost hold his breath at your touch. You smiled up at him, "Soooo… they have a mind of their own… do they manifest on their own too?"

He looked like he might die on the spot, "At… certain times, yes."

"Yeah? Like when?"

He squirmed as you continued to pet the tentacle before you.

"Particularly arousing situations…"

Ohhhhh this was fun.

"Hmmmm… can you give me an exaaaaample?" you drawled out the word, running a finger along the tentacle for emphasis.

He looked like he was going to combust, "The… night when you gave me a massage for instance…"

Your eyes went wide. You remembered wondering if he'd sound the same in bed but-

"Wait, were you like… getting off?"

Alarmed octopus noises, "No, no! It was just…"

You trailed your fingers over the tentacle in your hand again, "Just…?"

"They just emerged! I wasn’t doing anything with them!"

You paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, "So you're telling me you get  _ tentacle hard-ons _ ."

Oh, wow was that pink.

The tentacle you were petting curled in embarrassment as he hid his face.

"Anequivalentyes."

Reaching up, you gently pulled his hands away, kissing him, "That's cute. I'm flattered. Is that what this is?”

His eyes went wide and you felt the tentacle you'd been petting press insistently into your palm. There was a small nod.

Taking the tentacle in hand, you drew it up, teasing at it, "Seems like  _ someone _ knows what you want."

You began stroking along the surface, watching him. He shuddered, one hand coming to rest on your lower back.

“So… they have a mind of their own when they’re like this then...”

Another small nod.

“Which means… you weren’t trying to get in my mouth just now. But you were thinking about it.”

He was brilliant pink, "Y-yes…"

"Soooo that means you can't really lie with these…" you pressed a kiss to the tentacle, hearing his breath catch, “They’re like your subconscious.”

He shifted, obviously embarrassed, “Well… tentacles are affected by the host’s emotions. Normally keeping them under control isn’t a challenge.”

You smirked, “But around me, we know what your baseline emotion is.”

“Reader!” he yelped. You just laughed, kissing him gently.

You let your fingers glide gently across the tentacle in your hand.

"Hmmmm…. Wonder what would happen if you didn't try to stop them so much…"

His eyes went wide. For a moment you thought he might tell you to stop. Instead, he responded, shakily, "I'm afraid they would be all over you…"

The tentacle in your hand shivered, wrapping gently around your arm.

Ohhhh that…

You smiled up at him, "I think we've established that I don't mind."

Worry painted his features. Always so careful, so concerned...

"Are you certain?"

You drew the tentacle up, kissing along it, teasing the skin with soft flicks of your tongue.

He shuddered, watching.

You spoke with your lips grazing the skin, "If  _ you _ don't mind…"

There was a soft whine from him and suddenly the tentacle you were kissing pressed against your lips, demanding entrance.

He looked horrified but you parted your lips and drew him in.

A pair of tentacles immediately went to your sex, teasing and toying with it. Still more came up to hold you. 

A trace of worry crossed his features but quickly replaced by a look of surprise when you moaned around him.

Tendrils traced along your skin and before you realized it you had been lifted and laid back so that your back was flush with his chest again. You tipped your head back, looking at him.

The tendril in your mouth withdrew reluctantly.

"Are you sure this is alright?" his hand came up to stroke your cheek gently.

You gave him a smile, “Of course it is.” Tendrils had risen up around you, almost considering you. As if waiting for a signal. You shivered and laughed a little, "Now come on, let the little guys explore." you smirked as one of the tendrils lightly wrapped around your hand, rubbing against it, “They seem pretty eager.”

He was staring down at you, practically panting, "And if you need to stop?" 

"I'll tap you twice if you can leave my hands free?"

He shuddered, " _ Yes _ ."

Suddenly, tendrils hooked behind your knees lifting them up to your chest. He wrapped his arms around them to prevent movement. Now you were open, on display, bubbles gliding down over your skin. Tentacles immediately made their way down to your sex another moving to push into your entrance gently. Lips were on yours and in addition to the tentacles teasing at your sex and pushing into you you now found yourself at the mercy of a whole host of tendrils. These traveled over your skin, caressing you gently. Trailing down your sides, toying with your nipples, and sensually tracing your shape.

Small, delicate tendrils teased at the tip of your sex. The tentacle inside you moving in languid strokes, taking its time.

_ Fuck… _

You shivered, gasping against his mouth.

He withdrew a bit, another tentacle coming up to press against your lips. You opened your mouth obediently, taking him in.

His expression seemed almost… bewildered by what was happening. It would have been funnier if you weren’t distracted by the way the tendrils zeroed in on the most sensitive parts of your sex.

The tendril inside of you wriggled deeper and a shudder ran up your spine. 

He seemed a touch concerned still so you reached up, hooking one arm around his neck. You moaned around him, your free hand reaching up to trace the curves of the tentacle moving between your lips. A shudder ran through him and he leaned down, kissing along your cheek and neck.

_ Ohhhh fuck yes... _

How the hell he was doing this… not just doing this but doing this this FAST you had no idea. You’d barely started and already your body was gliding along the edge of orgasm.

The tentacle inside you thickened.

It was thrusting in earnest now, your body rocking with each deep stroke. 

You were at his mercy and there was nowhere you wanted to be more.

His voice was warm in your ear, the feeling of it reverberating in your chest, "You look  _ amazing _ this way…"

The embarrassment that statement brought with it was damn near unbearable and yet he continued.

"And you feel. So.  _ Good _ ." He timed his words with his thrusts and you cried out.

_ Fuck _ , this was…

You moaned, struggling to follow any train of thought.

It simply wasn't happening. All you could focus on were the tendrils making your nerves light up and the thick, thrusting tentacle below.

The tentacle withdrew from your mouth and tipped your head up so that he could kiss you. It gently caressed your throat. His voice was rough, “Reader…”

You gasped against his lips, “If you keep that up I’m going to come.”

There was a growl from him that made your body tremble, “I hope you know you’re coming more than once.”

You cried out, your body clenching around him. The motion didn’t stop. He kept your knees up and you could see the tentacle plunging in and out of you. His skin shifted with color and he trembled. Tendrils kept running along your sex, shifting shape from time to time and changing texture.

“F-FUCK!” you arched back against him as a second orgasm surged through you. He kept thrusting into you, a bit slower but still with a consistent rhythm. You were breathless laying back against him, putty in his arms. You squirmed a bit because the stimulation hadn’t stopped but-

“Ohhhh...” you gasped as he hit a spot in you that pushed through all exhaustion, “More.”

There was a sound of surprise from him and you looked up at him, “Don’t stop. More. Please.”

The tentacle inside you thickened slightly as he thrust and you writhed.

“Fuck, you feel good.” you gasped, he sped up just a touch and you found yourself unable to speak.

His lips were close to your ear again, “You fit around them so nicely...”

You shuddered, glancing at him. He must have seen the look on your face because his grin sharpened, green stripes fading into view.

“I wonder what you would do if I said I was going to keep you here like this tonight until I was done with you.”

You screamed, your body tensing and arching. Trying to get away? Trying to push him in deeper? At this point, you had no idea. All you knew was that if he did keep you all night you’d probably die. But you’d die completely satisfied.

He held you tightly, his thrusts still rocking you in his lap. You were coming down now and you saw colors shift across his skin once more.

Gently, you drew one of the tentacles from your chest to your mouth. It eagerly entered.

The sound he made was a strangled sort of moan as the colors on his skin flared back to life.

You moaned around him as he hit places in you that made your body quake. The tentacle in your mouth thrust deeper and suddenly-

You couldn’t breathe.

_ You couldn’t breathe. _

You struggled to speak then remembered and tapped him twice. He looked down with concern and instantly released you, letting you get your legs back under you, “Reader are you-”

Air, thank GOD  _ air _ . You gasped, coughing, and sat up.

The tendrils on your body shrunk back immediately. His arm looped gently around you, unsure, worried, almost as if he was scared to touch you.

After a few minutes of steadying yourself, you looked back at him. You laughed weakly, “Man they must  _ really _ like my mouth cause they were trying for my windpipe.”

His face went a deep vermillion before flickering to pale blue, “Reader, I sincerely apologize I didn’t mean to-”

You laughed a bit, waving your hand, “Relax. I know you didn’t.”

Leaning against him, you sighed. He gently put his arms around you, “No harm done, I hope?”

“No harm done, just couldn’t breathe for a hot minute.”

That seemed to make him fret even more.

“Hey,” you reached up and patted his cheek, “It happens. Trust me there’s been more than once I have to stop myself from asking you to shove more in me. There’s just limits to the human body.”

He went vermillion again and you laughed.

“I still apologize, it was careless of me.”

You laughed and kept stroking his cheek, “Hey, I told you not to hold back and you stopped when I signaled.”

He was still fretting.

You turned carefully to face him and pulled his face to yours, kissing him gently, “I would tell you if it was a problem.” you nuzzled him and sighed, shuddering as your body registered what had been happening just a few moments before, “And  _ trust _ me. That was  _ not _ a problem. You just had a little slip up at the end.” you kissed him again, “That... ” 

You laughed and leaned against his chest. His arms came up to surround you carefully as if you might fall apart.

“That was _ fucking amazing _ .” you paused and glanced up at him, “Hey...”

He looked down. There was still a touch of blue to his face.

“It’s okay. It is  _ more _ than okay.”

Uncertainty still, “All of it?” 

“Minus me choking? YES.” you grabbed his face looking into his eyes, “ALL of it.”

He went magenta and you gave him a grin.

“You can threaten to keep that up all night  _ anytime _ .” you sighed, resting your head against his shoulder.

That seemed to loosen something in him. A bit of tension faded. You ran your hand over his chest and then frowned, “Hey… you didn’t quite finish that last round did you?”

He went neon, “Well, no but-”

“Want to?”

He faltered, “I…I’m worried it might happen again.”

“Well… I mean I don’t have to use my mouth,” you smirked.

There was a tiny shiver from him and you crooked your finger at him playfully.

A tentacle barely broke the surface of the water, as if it were hiding and you laughed, gently wrapping your hand around it.

“I- I’m sorry about-”

“Shhhh” you kissed him again, your hand stroking the tentacle in front of you, “You are  _ amazing _ and you did  _ perfectly _ .”

He shuddered at your touch, gasping.

“I love you and I trust you, remember?” you nuzzled him, “God… that was hot.”

“Mn…” the tentacle in your hand began to thrust in time with your strokes and he held you closer.

“That was a fun position too.” you smirked, “Like looking down and seeing tentacles on me?”

He made an embarrassed sound, “It might be something I enjoy...”

You chuckled, “Might be, huh? Just maaaaybe?~” you gave the tentacle in your hand a gentle squeeze and he shivered in response.

“I know you’re probably worried about them but… that was great. You don’t have to be so careful all the time.” you leaned in, kissing down along his neck, “That’s what the safewords are for.”

He whined, the tentacle in your hand speeding up.

You kept kissing along his neck gently, squeezing rhythmically at the tentacle in your hands until he cried out, holding you close. The tendril in your hand writhed but you didn’t let it go, continuing to toy with it as the colors crossing his skin slowly faded.

He was panting, holding you close. Your foreheads pressed together and he gave a shuddering sigh, “That… that was wonderful.”

With a grin, you kissed him, “You’re telling me.”

The two of you sat for a moment, winding down, your head resting against his chest.

“I guess I’m going to need another shower...” you made a face.

He laughed, “A rinse should be fine. It does have similar properties to soap.”

“...that’s still weird.” you glanced up at him.

Green stripes reappeared, “You certainly didn’t seem to mind it a moment ago.~”

There was nothing you could say to refute that.

He washed up a bit and exited the bath and you stared in surprise as his body reabsorbed any lingering gel.

“Uh...” you stood carefully in the draining tub, “You just… it just kinda... ”

He chuckled, “It’s quite easy to reabsorb. It’s also one of the reasons you rarely see me dirty, I can simply absorb the dirt.”

“But you like baths?” you turned on the shower and began rinsing off.

“You shower but you also like baths.”

“...Touche.”

Surprisingly, the gel washed away without a trace. Your skin was surprisingly soft in its wake.

An all-purpose material…

Shaking your head you decided to think about that later. When you pulled back the curtain you found yourself wrapped in a towel and laughed. He was already wrapped in one himself with a towel wrapped around his head-

“...You don’t even have hair, why do you need that?” you laughed.

“It’s warm!” he said matter of factly, “And besides, it completes the look!”

You rolled your eyes and dried off. When you felt suitably dry you looked over at him, “I should probably get my pajamas.”

He went pale pink, “I don’t mind if you’d like to wear this...”

His shirt was offered to you.

Oh, that was cute... 

You accepted it, shrugging it on and buttoning it up.

Shortly, you were both upstairs. He’d finally swapped out the spa look for proper pajamas. You stretched, your body was sore but incredibly satisfied. One of his arms looped around you, the other trailing through your hair softly.

Smiling up at him, you cupped his cheek gently. He leaned into the touch with a happy hum.

“You okay?” you asked, stroking his cheek.

“I should be asking you that.” his grin dipped into a grimace.

You shook your head, “You already did. Everything is fine. I want to know if  _ you’re _ okay.”

“I’m… a bit apprehensive…”

“About?”

“Tonight was… lovely but, I worry I’m going to go too far.”

Reaching up, you kissed him softly, “I understand.”

He nuzzled you gently, “But it’s something you enjoy…”

You frowned at that, “Do you not enjoy it?”

Magenta.

“Hey, hey if it’s not something you like it-”

“N-no, I...” he took a breath trying to steady himself, “I like it… quite a bit.”

“You’re just worried.”

He nodded.

“Okay, so we go slow.” you kissed him gently.

_ That _ seemed to calm him, “That… I can do.”

Kissing him again you chuckled, “You can always ask for things like that you know.”

“This is still new,” he said apologetically.

“That’s okay.” you smirked up at him, “Sooooo I noticed you listed massage in my weaknesses list.”

The magenta had been fading but it came back with a vengeance, “I think that’s an apt description! I’m surprised you’re not more embarrassed!”

“Why would I be? I’ve seen most of them,” you smirked.

A moment of realization crossed his face followed immediately by green stripes.

“Nurufufufu~ I’m sorry, did you miss the  _ Adult Weaknesses _ section?”

“The  _ what? _ ”

The book was held in front of your face.

Apparently the back of the book was for more… racy material.

_ Reader's Adult Weaknesses: _

_ 1) Bondage _

_ 2) Dominance and Submission _

_ 3) Edging _

_ 4) Monsters _

_ 5) Tentacles _

_ 6) Voice _

You felt heat rise in your cheeks at it all spelled out so plainly. He chuckled.

Wait…

Grabbing his collar, you kissed him deeply. He made a flustered sound and you took that as your cue to snatch the book from his hands, quickly skimming the rest of the page.

Your eyes widened.

Below the list was scribbled several notes in a column.

_ To Ask: _

_ Lingerie? _

_ Stripping? _

_ Lap dance? _

_ Wake up sex? _

_ All night? _

_ Roleplay??? _

_ Costumes???? _

The book vanished from your hands and he stared at you with dawning horror. You smiled, "So… there's things you've been wanting to ask me about,  _ hm? _ "

He gave a shriek and you laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him, "Cute."

He was neon pink and looked like he was ten seconds from spontaneously combusting, "Imsosorryiknowtheyretoomuch-"

You leaned in, kissing him a little deeper, "I like  _ all _ of those ideas."

Shock crossed his face, his voice pitching up in surprise, “You  _ do? _ ”

You nodded, laughing a little, “They sound like fun.”

Deep magenta. You chuckled and kissed him again, softer, “I love trying things with you.”

Suddenly, you were held tightly, a soft embarrassed sound muffled against your shoulder. You laughed, kissing the side of his head. A thought occurred to you and you felt your own face burn.

Well… it was probably best to talk about now before you lost your nerve…

You sat back a bit, looking up at him, “So um…” you shifted a bit, embarrassed, "There's some stuff I want to say yes to but I don't want you to have to ask…"

He stared at you in surprise, “What do you mean?"

"Well… like… wake up sex." You gestured, "I don't want you to feel like you gotta wake me up and ask. I’d kinda rather you wake me up by doing?" God your face was burning. His eyes went wide and you pushed through your embarrassment, "So, I was thinking maybe I could wear something specific, and if I'm wearing it that basically gives you permission… like you join me in bed and I'm wearing this you know you can just pounce on me the next morning… or that night… you know… uh-"

Was he…

"Are you okay?"

He was shaking.

He gave a quick nod.

"Uh… are you sure?"

He nodded again, slowly.

Gently, you took his hand, holding it up and watching it tremble. He flexed the fingers closed, embarrassed.

“ThatmightbesomethingI’vefantasizedabout.” his words ran together in a rush.

That… that was adorable. You sat up, kissing him, “Good because I love the idea of waking up to you on me.~”

Oh...

Shit, you had broken the octopus.

His eyes were wide, his skin a deep pink, he gaped for a moment seeming unsure of how to respond.

"I mean…" wow your face was on fire, "if you're comfortable with that."

You were pulled into a kiss. A desperate demanding sort of kiss. When you parted he stared at you, " _ Yes. _ "

You laughed, “I can figure something out for it. I’ll let you know.”

He held you close, clearly still flustered by your suggestion.

“Soooooo I see that whole roleplaying and outfits thing I suggested stuck with you.”

A muffled shriek into your shoulder. You laughed, petting him.

"I could be the sexy school nurse. Or maybe a college student coming to you for a little private tutoring?~”

More muffled screaming.

You cackled, "Hmmm… or maybe you'd rather be my boss at an office? I could do whatever you say…"

He was literally blushing so hard you could feel the heat of it on your neck. Laughing, you kissed the side of his head.

It took him several minutes to cool down, most of which was spent with his face buried in your shoulder occasionally muttering about how horrified he was to be put on blast like this.

Gliding your hand over his back, you kissed him again, “Relax...”

“Thatseasyforyoutosay!” he said in alarm, “You don’t have my reputation!”

“The perv reputation?”

Ranting octopus. 

You laughed, “What? Like you’re going to ruin your reputation with me? Did you forget what we just did in the bath?”

He stilled at that going magenta. You cackled and pulled him down, kissing him.

“I love you, you doofus.”

His response was tender, sheepish, “I love you too.”

Fuckin’ hell.

You loved this idiot.


	121. Do Not Pass Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something those of you who have only watched the anime might not know that this scene went a bit differently in the manga! This chapter is based far more on that version.

When you arrived at school the next morning, your idiot vanished. Where he was off to you had no idea but he had been positively giddy all morning. You went to put your things down in the nurse's office and found yourself facing Nagisa.

“Hey, morning!” with a wave, you put your things down, “Something up?”

“Yeah, actually.” he looked at you with concern, “I kinda wanted to talk to you about what you told us about the other day...”

Oh…

“Yeah?” you took a seat at your desk, “What did you want to know?”

“Well… what happened to the man who murdered that family?”

You felt a hollowness in you at that question.

“He was sentenced to life in prison. There was some talk of releasing him on parole due to him being ‘not in his right mind’ at the time.”

The boy’s tone was measured, “So he’s still alive.”

You nodded.

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“It does.” you sighed, “But it’s not my place to decide who lives or dies or what punishments someone is-”

The boy was over your desk before you had time to register he’d even moved. A hand in your hair and an anti sensei knife to your throat.

“Nagisa!” your octopus was looking in the room disapprovingly, his face marked with a purple X, “Don’t you remember the  _ rules? _ Attacking Mx. Reader is hand to hand combat  _ only _ .”

“Oh… right.” the boy said apologetically, letting you go, “Sorry, Mx. Reader...”

You stared at him for a long moment and nodded.

“Now off to class with you young man.” Korosensei gestured and the boy made his way into the hall, but not before an idle swing or two at his teacher.

“Nurufufufu~ I see you’ve experienced Nagisa’s approach.”

Your heart was still pounding, nerves on edge, “What the hell?”

“Nagisa and Karma will have significantly different approaches to your assassination.” he moved next to your desk, one hand resting on its surface, “Okano and Terasaka were speed and power. Karma and Nagisa will be devious and clever.”

Well… great. That had you rattled.

“Fantastic.” you sighed.

He chuckled, “I would keep an eye on them if I were you. Don’t let them out of your sight.”

“Great...” you pinched the bridge of your nose, “Great.”

His grin widened, “Not to worry~ You won’t have to deal with that problem for first period this morning!”

You eyed him, “Why?”

“You’ll see! Please, feel free to join us in the classroom!”

And just like that, he was gone.

Ohhhh boy…

Entering the classroom you paused, staring.

The students were in their seats, Karasuma was standing by the podium, Irina looking bored in the back and-

Oh for the love of fuck.

Your idiot was at the podium dressed in a full police outfit. Hat, button-up, pants, sunglasses, badge, the works.

“I see our local Doc has arrived,” he smirked.

“What… is this?” you leaned against the wall by the door, trying to process what the hell was going on.

“I was just about to explain-”

The door slid open yet again and Fuwa came in, “Sorry, Jump Magazine was sold out and I had to look everywhere for it-”

A pair of handcuffs appeared around her wrists, the octopus pointing at her, “You’re late… and under arrest.”

She stared up at him looking as confused as you were.

“Okay, what’s this about, Korosensei?” Kimura asked, leaning forward on his desk, “And what’s with the bad cop uniform?”

The octopus’ grin widened and suddenly the handcuffs vanished from Fuwa’s wrists. They were now spinning idly around one of his fingers, “Nurufufufu~ I notice you’ve been practicing parkour. So I thought we might play a little  _ game _ .”

Oh no...

Terasaka huffed from the back, “A game? Hm… It’s probably a stupid-”

Terasaka was cut off as a bandana manifested around his face tied into a neat bow under his nose. The trademark of Japan's cartoon thieves.

"COPS AND ROBBERS!" Korosensei announced, his tendrils whipped about in excitement, "A 3D game of tag using the whole mountain!"

There were surprised murmurs but it was Mimura who voiced the question on everyone's mind.

"Cops and Robbers?  _ Really? _ "

"You’ll be the robbers. Use everything you’ve learned so far to escape and hide on the mountain.” he gestured, “Mr. Karasuma and I will be the cops."

"What?!" Karasuma clearly had not been updated about this.

"If we can’t catch all of you before the end of first period, Mr. Karasuma will personally buy you all a slice of cake!"

"HEY!" Karasuma protested but the octopus, predictably, ignored him.

"On the other hand if we do catch you,” his grin sharpened, “ _ I’ll double your homework! _ "

There was an uproar in the classroom.

"WAIT A MINUTE!” 

“IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR US TO RUN AWAY FROM YOU FOR AN HOUR!"

“ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME?”

Korosensei’s tone was filled with amusement, "Now, now, we’ll give you a sporting chance.”

God… he was  _ loving _ this.

Back to causing chaos in the classroom.

He gestured, “Mr. Karasuma will be the only one coming after you-  _ at first _ . I’ll stay put as the jailer out on the school playing field-  _ at first _ .” he smirked, leaning in, “I’ll only make my move during the very last minute."

The class took a beat, considering.

It was Yada that spoke up, “I see… if  _ that’s _ the case, we might have a chance of winning.”

“Yeah,” Nakamura grinned, “I mean, Korosensei is easily distracted, right?”

“And we’ve improved a lot.” Okano nodded, “Maybe we can do this.”

“Let’s give it a go!” Isogai shouted, rallying his classmates.

The kids were hurriedly rising to their feet.

“Excellent! Now if you’ll please change into your gym wear and meet us outside we can get started!” Korosensei chuckled, waving for the kids to run along.

Irina marched up to the front of the class looking pissed. Karasuma, meanwhile, was giving the octopus The Look.

" _ This _ is your big activity?" Irina glared at him, "A kid's game?"

“A unique twist on average training, if I do say so myself.” he grinned down at her, “The children will remain engaged if they have a reward waiting for them at the end.”

“I didn’t agree to this.” Karasuma’s tone was blunt and irritable, “But… I suppose you’re right. It’s a good way to keep them on their toes.”

“Precisely!” Korosensei wrapped an arm around him, “And we get to play partners like in a buddy cop movie! I can be the rough around the edges stoic bad cop and you get to be the idealistic young rookie!”

Karasuma shrugged him off.

You couldn’t help yourself, “I’m pretty sure you’ve got those backwards.”

Korosensei just smirked, “You and Irina should get changed.”

…

Shit.

That’s right.

You gave a sigh and locked eyes with Karasuma.

You were both very done with this octopus.

When you had gotten changed and left the schoolhouse you found your idiot camped out by the goalposts. A semi-circle of chalk was looped around it, enclosing the area. Arcing along the line was the word JAIL.

Karasuma stood nearby in full fatigues, stretching.

The kids were nowhere to be seen.

You approached them, “So, we just go? No starting line or anything?”

Korosensei’s eyes narrowed, “The game is Cops n Robbers, Reader. The goal is to  _ run _ .”

The way he said that made a little shiver run through you.

How serious was he taking this?

“Better move.” Karasuma warned, “We’re starting soon. Ritsu will keep you updated.”

Shit.

You turned on your heel and made a break for the trees.

Irina had vanished but you found some of the kids quickly. They were busy reaching higher ground.

“How did you get up there?!” Kayano called up.

Following her gaze, you spotted a grinning Sugino, “Using the tree climbing technique he taught us the other day.”

Karma and Nagisa topped the rocks next to him.

“Hey, Doc.~” Karma drawled, “Don’t think I’m forgetting you.”

Nagisa gave an apologetic smile.

It was hard to equate that smile with the same boy that had lunged at you this morning.

Sugino and the others waved as Karma drew attention to you.

“Hey, Mx. Reader!” Okuda flashed you a smile.

“Hey. Karasuma said they’re starting soon…” you glanced back over your shoulder.

“Yeah, Ritsu told us.” Nagisa showed you his phone and you fished out your own.

A program opened immediately, the background was a fade of navy to medium blue. Ritsu flickered up on your screen with a smile dressed in a cop costume. 

It made sense, you supposed. She couldn’t exactly participate as a robber.

“One minute until start!” she announced, “Be careful out there!”

“Gonna try,” you said.

Looking up you saw that the kids had already taken off.

Great.

You tackled the nearest rock.

The kids had the right idea, high ground meant seeing further. Seeing further meant spotting Karasuma before he spotted you.

But it also made you more exposed…

You began to make your way across the rocks, following the kids.

It would make more sense to stay apart from them but they had proven time and again that they knew this mountain better than you did and besides…

You were the medic.

You didn’t take into account, however, how much faster than you the kids were. After the events of the past few days, you were slower, more sore than usual. It wasn’t long before you lost sight of them. As you scanned the trees you spotted movement-

Oh no, fuck that. You weren’t sticking around to see if it was Karasuma.

You dove off the rock you were on, rolling as best you could before scrambling up. You took off through the trees running over options in your head.

What did you do when you played Cops n Robbers as a kid?

Fuck if you could remember.

You ducked under some branches and nearly threw yourself over a steep slope. Reaching out, you snagged a sapling swinging yourself back up and around.

Okay, so  _ not _ that way.

Running through the forest blindly was one way to do this but it was also a good way to get hurt. You ran through your options from the locations you knew on the mountain. There was an area by the pool that might be relatively safe? 

There was a snap of a twig nearby.

_ Nope _ .

You looked back at the slope you’d recovered from and launched yourself over it, sliding through the leaves. The traction of the foliage made it easier to slow your descent. At the bottom, you rolled-

OW.

Fuck!

You sat up, rubbing your shoulder. What the fuck had you-

A log covered in leaves.

Well shit.

You got to your feet, ready to take off when you noticed something.

It was  _ hollow _ .

It was hollow  _ and _ it was big enough.

You heard more rustling up the slope and didn’t take time to think, you shoved yourself into the space. Thankfully the thing was hollow all the way through. Rough as hell though.

Suddenly your brain summoned up a list of Reasons This Was A Bad Idea.

Japanese Pit Viper. Giant Centipede. Redback Spider. Those giant god damn murder hornets…

And that was just the _ small _ stuff…

All thoughts of that were shoved out of your head as you heard scrambling across the leaves. Kids, it sounded like. 

You heard the running footsteps recede into the distance and relaxed.

Okay, kids were the best-case scenario here. Kids weren’t Karasu-

You didn’t have time to finish that thought because something had grabbed your legs.

Yelping in alarm you tried to kick but instead found yourself pulled out into the sunlight…

Facing an annoyed Karasuma.

“You’re under arrest.” He paused, “This is supposed to be parkour training, you know.”

Climbing to your feet you made a face, “Hey! I’ve been running!”

There was the ghost of a smirk on his face, “Head back to jail.”

You sighed and started your ascent up the slope.

“Reader.”

You paused, looking back at him.

"Don't get the wrong idea. Running and hiding can save your life but knowing when to keep moving is important."

He vanished into the trees.

You had a feeling his advice was about something more than just the game…

Why did he have to be so damn cryptic?

Making a face, you turned and began navigating your way back to the schoolyard. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you fished it out.

Ritsu was beaming at you as profile images scrolled up the side of the screen, “Mx. Reader! Okajima! Hayami! Chiba! Fuwa! Out!”

“You don’t gotta rub it in,” you grumbled.

She only giggled in response.

Tucking your phone away you took off for the ‘jail’.

Go to jail.

Go directly to jail.

Do not pass GO.

Do not collect $200.

You sighed.

You were going to be dealing with an  _ hour _ of this.

The trip back was astonishingly quick and as you swung down from a branch to land at the schoolyard edge you realized…

Not that long ago you’d planted face-first into the dirt just trying to _ jog _ down the mountain.

Shit… how long ago was that?

…

That had been before Kyoto…

That was the end of May. Three months ago.

Three months ago…

Had it only been three months?

You paused, thinking it over. You started mid-April.

April, May, June, July, August…

Five months in the classroom, three months since you started training.

God, how had all of this happened in five months?

A little chill went down your spine.

It was the start of September now.

Seven months? Six and a half?

“Mx. Reader!” Korosensei’s voice knocked you out of your thoughts, “I do believe you were  _ arrested _ .”

Trotting over, you joined him in the circle with the kids.

“Good. I didn’t want to have to sic the dogs on you.” he drawled.

You looked up at him, unamused, “Dogs?”

And just like that, there were two-

You ran a hand over your face.

There were two clones of him in dog suits down on the ground, yapping.

“You gotta watch out for them.” he leaned in with a grin, “They  _ bite _ .”

You rolled your eyes and flunked down on the dirt next to the kids.

Fuwa looked over at you, “He got you too huh?”

Suddenly a paper was thrust into your hands and when you looked at it.

“...Why are you giving me a test on my own material?” you gave the octopus a look.

“Consider it part of your work-release program.”

Okajima waved his own paper at you with a tired look before going back to his phone.

“Sugaya, I’m not kidding! He’s got us here doing worksheets! Karasuma was like a ghost or something!”

You could hear Sugaya’s voice through the phone, “Come off it, Okajima. You didn’t notice him until he tagged you? This isn’t a battle manga, you know.”

Okajima sighed, “Listen, just be careful! He could be right behind you even as we speak.”

A shriek echoed out from the other end of the line and Okajima winced, holding the phone away from his ear. When the sound ended he held it back up, “Sugaya?  _ Sugaya! _ ”

There was some muffled response and Okajima made a face looking at the others.

“Seriously?!” Chiba stared over at him, “Already?”

Hayami shook her head, pulling her knees up, “He’s terrifying.”

“Yeah…” you shook your head, “Him getting fatigues when we have gym wear doesn’t exactly make it a fair fight either.”

“Hey! I didn’t think of that!” Okajima looked back at Korosensei, “Not cool!”

Korosensei chuckled, the bad cop demeanor falling away for a moment, “Even in camouflage you would be struggling.”

Hayami looked up at him, “Why’s that, sir?”

“Well, Mr. Karasuma is  _ tracking _ you, you know.” he gestured, “You should be careful not to leave any footprints and don’t disturb the ground cover. By which I mean take advantage of your basic parkour moves. Move  _ vertically _ , using branches, and take long jumps. Even without any risky advanced moves that should make it a lot harder for my fellow officer to track you.”

The kids exchanged looks of surprise.

“We should have known that.” Chiba said quietly, “Hayami and I have both studied proper sniper cover...”

Hayami nodded, “We weren’t thinking like snipers. We were thinking like runners.”

It was a valid point. Of course, Karasuma was using tracking skills. It was part of his skill set.

“Professor Bitch! Out!” chirped Ritsu from Okajima’s phone.

Fuwa sighed with a bit of a laugh, “I think we all saw that one coming.”

“Yeaaaaaah...” Chiba chuckled, shaking his head.

You sat back with a sigh, the octopus and Karasuma were each beasts in their own way and you didn’t see how the kids, you, or Irina stood a chance against them.

Sugaya joined the rest of you sullenly. Okajima looked at him, “I told you!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” the boy accepted the paperwork the octopus thrust at him with annoyance.

“Mx. Reader...” Korosensei’s voice carried the lecturing tone he had with the students. You looked up at him.

“That worksheet isn’t going to solve itself.” he looked pointedly at the paper in your hands.

“Are you serious?” you quirked a brow at him.

He blew a bubble with the gum he was apparently chewing, “Don’t I  _ look _ serious, prisoner?”

No.

Not in the slightest.

You shook your head and looked back at the papers in your hand to appease him.

It was one of your standard review tes-

Wait…

This was filled out…

You glanced back at him.

“You  _ are _ a teacher. Did you not expect papers to grade?”

Whose…

You stone-faced at the name at the top.

_ Korosensei. _

Okay. Sure. Whatever. You’d grade the idiot’s test. Not like he would miss anything anyway.

You were about half done when Irina came storming out of the bushes. She made a beeline for the jail, drawing the eyes of the octopus and Okajima because of the way her white wet outfit clung to her form.

"Why are you wet?" you asked.

"Piss off!" She snapped, sitting down in a huff.

"Ohhhhhkay…" you shook your head, turning your attention back to the paper in hand.

Karasuma must have really done a number on her, she looked _ pissed… _

Maybe less pissed, more… worried? Hurt?

She hadn't tried to talk to him  _ during _ this, had she? She should know better by now that Karasuma was always focused on the task at hand…

Irina caught you staring and glared at you.

Shit.

You looked away in a hurry.

With an irritated growl, she got back to her feet, “If you want to keep playing this stupid game have at it. I’m  _ out _ .”

“Now, now, young lady-” Korosensei reached out to touch her shoulder and she smacked his hand away.

“Shut it, perv. I’m not going to sit out here and be eye candy for you and you’re little protege.” with that she stormed off to the classroom.

“Jeez… she’s extra bitchy today...” Okajima made a face.

“Yeah…” you exchanged a glance with the octopus. 

He shook his head slightly at you and turned to the students, “I’m sure she has her reasons… oh!” he chuckled, “Why it looks like we have company.~”

You followed his line of sight and saw the faces of Sugino, Nagisa, and Karma peeking out of the bushes.

He twirled his police baton as he addressed them, “You robbers look so frustrated! You can’t do a thing so long as I’m here as warden!”

“Are you a cop or a warden? At least keep your story straight!” Okajima huffed, “Either way, ever since you put on that uniform you’ve gotten even bossier.” 

The octopus rounded on him and the others in jail, “Shut your beaks, jailbirds! You need to concentrate on your work-release program!”

Hayami didn’t look impressed, “Work release… What?”

Sugaya rolled his eyes, “You just want us to solve this worksheet!”

“Takebayashi and Hara are out!” Ritsu announced from your phones.

Greaaat…

“Terasaka, Hazama, Yoshida, Muramatsu! Out!”

Jeez… Karasuma was just tearing through them out there...

Suddenly, Okajima rose to his feet. Reaching out, he tapped the octopus on the shoulder. In one hand he held-

You pinched the bridge of your nose.

Pinup photos.

Where had the boy even HAD those?

Korosensei paused, looking at the proffered photos for a moment before accepting them and tucking them in his shirt pocket. Turning away he made a motion to the boy, “Just this once.”

“Sugino! Nagisa! Now!” Okajima called to the boys and they ran over, tagging the other students back in.

You sat there in shock for a moment.

“Are you kidding me?!” you turned, looking at him.

“Five prisoners free...” Ritsu said, dejected.

Korosensei looked up from where he was ogling his newly acquired photo, “What? It’s important that I confiscate all- ah- contraband the prisoners might have!”

His phone rang and he flipped it open. You heard Karasuma’s voice clearly over the line.

“Mind explaining how prisoners are escaping on your watch?”

“They’re shrewder than we gave ‘em credit for!” Korosensei protested, his eyes drifting back to the photo in his hand, “Good heavens! Those things are _really_ _enormous!_ ”

“Are you taking bribes?!” Karasuma shouted, “I’m sending seven or eight students to you in a minute. Do  _ not  _ let my next batch escape or so help me-”

“I KNOW!” the octopus snapped, shutting his phone.

You stood, hands on your hips, staring at him. He swiftly tucked the photo away, “Yes, prisoner?”

“You are ridiculous.”

“You know, talk like that isn’t going to get you out of jail.~”

You passed him the test you’d finished grading, “Yeah? Guess I’m stuck here then.”

A tentacle snared your wrist, "Tell me, Mx. Reader… do you think I should let you off with good behavior?~"

You felt your cheeks burn, "I don't have any pinups if that's what you're asking." he gave an embarrassed shriek and you laughed, "And I'm afraid most of my good behaviors would have to happen off-campus, _ sir... _ "

You couldn't risk the kids seeing you kiss him… as much as you might want to.

He flickered pink and then grinned, leaning in, "I suppose we'll have to make it an IOU then."

_ Oh. _

He let go of your wrist, shooing you with a tentacle while pointedly looking the other way.

Time to get back in play.

Thank God you'd be running, you had an excuse to be red-faced if anyone asked.

As you took off you passed Terasaka’s group who were tramping through the trees looking annoyed.

You didn’t blame them.

Leaping up, you snared a low branch, pulling yourself up.

Time to take the idiot’s advice about getting vertical.

You decided to make your way up to the pool area. Doing so via the trees was… interesting. Somehow not as terrifying as it might have been when you started working here this year. Flying with the octopus had put heights into a different perspective for you, you supposed. Distantly you could hear a commotion from the playing field. You assumed more nonsense from the octopus. Fishing out your phone you checked the time.

Still a half-hour left.

You continued your ascent up the mountain. Despite being sore you were surprised at how…  _ easy _ it was. Once you got into a rhythm you were just looking out for the next hand or foothold, the next place to jump to. Everything was just climbing and jumping, occasionally freezing when you heard rustling. Sometimes it was local wildlife, other times it was the students. No sign of Karasuma… yet.

You stopped for a breather on one of the lower branches of a tall oak…

Wait… you remembered this spot.

This was Terasaka’s oak. That meant you were getting close.

Carefully you made your way over to the clearing with the pool not dropping down from a tree until you were sure you’d land on the rocky outcropping near the water.

You heard a rustle and turned, prepared to get caught when-

“Oh thank goodness, you scared us!” Kayano gave a sigh of relief.

“Glad to see you guys are still loose.”

“Yeah, we cooked up a pretty good plan,” Sugino said, tugging off his shirt.

“...a plan?”

“Mmhm...” you turned to see Nagisa sitting on one of the deck chairs, kicking off his shoes.

“Ya’ see...” Karma tugged off his own shirt, “Kataoka, Maehara, Okano, and Kimura are running interference. They’re going to keep Mr. K distracted.”

“While you do… what exactly?” you looked between the three of them.

Nagisa hopped down into the pool, “They’re going to lead Mr. K all the way back down the mountain on a goose chase.”

“While we make ourselves untouchable!” Sugino followed Nagisa into the water, anti-sensei knives in hand.

“...untouchable? But Karasuma can swim.”

“Oh yeah, sure. _ He _ can. But he can’t get back up here in a minute. The octopus, meanwhile….” Karma flashed a grin and all three boys dove under the water.

In the time it took you to check your phone, the octopus had arrived. Kayano proudly pointed to the pool.

“WHAT?!” he shrieked.

The boys were at the bottom, holding their breath and looking triumphant.

You couldn’t help it, you laughed, “That’s fuckin’ GENIUS!”

“Time’s up! You didn’t arrest everybody! The robbers win!” Ritsu announced.

Kayano signaled to the boys and they popped up out of the water with huge grins.

“Didn’t expect that, did ya teach?” Karma smirked up at the octopus.

“I have to say… I did not.” Korosensei chuckled, “Well played, children.”

Kayano looked over, “Wouldn’t have thought about it if you hadn’t told people to stick to the rocks. What better place not to leave a trace?” 

“Then once we were here, well.” Nagisa shrugged, “It seemed like the simplest solution.”

“Using both of your teacher’s weaknesses against them.” the octopus grinned at them as he changed out his police cap for his usual academic one, “I’m so proud.” 

“So… about that cake.~” Kayano smirked.

“Indeed. Let’s get down to the schoolyard and we’ll see about your prize.”

You shook your head, falling into step beside them. 

_ You _ definitely hadn’t seen that coming…

At the schoolyard, the class was celebrating their victory and Isogai was taking cake orders.

“What do you want, Doc?”

You paused, “Huh?”

“You were a robber too, what kind of cake do you want?”

“Uh...” you shrugged slightly. Cake had been sort of the last thing on your mind.

“I’ll put you down for swiss roll, sound good?”

“Sure, that’s perfect Isogai.”

“It’s strange.” Hinano said, looking up at Korosensei, “You and Mr. K never get along but you’re a great team when you’re teaching us.”

He grinned down at her, “Of course. We are professional teachers, after all. If there’s a student in front of us we can’t help but nurture their abilities. That’s what we do.”

Karasuma looked over at him and for a moment there was a subtle acknowledgment between them. Something you hadn’t seen very often. The two of them on the same page… for once.

“That being said...” Karasuma gave him the Look, “You were  _ supposed _ to be keeping an eye on them, not letting them loose.”

“I was doing my best!”

“You were not! And you’re paying for half of this order.”

“I don’t have the money for that!”

The two started squabbling and you shook your head with a sigh.

Just another day on the mountain…


	122. Tyrants and Protectors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, promise I'm not dead. Me and mine are safe and I hope you guys are staying safe too.  
> While updates are slow I am still working on this fic I've just also started work on a project that I've wanted to do for a long time which requires learning a lot of new skills. I'm making a game.   
> I guess it's how I handle the world being on fire. Making things.  
> Wear your mask, wash your hands. Remember that Black Lives Matter and the first Pride was a riot.  
> Stay safe, stay strong, and keep working towards progress. ❤︎

It was decided that the cake order would wait til lunch. To appease Karasuma, Korosensei volunteered to treat the children to drinks that afternoon since they were to start working on the greenhouse. Karasuma had begrudgingly agreed. You made your way to the bathroom and washed up a bit, changing back into your regular work clothes. It was only the second period and you already felt wiped. 

You made your way to the faculty lounge and collapsed into your seat next to the octopus. The changeup with the morning’s class had shuffled the schedule. Karasuma agreed that first period had counted as PE for the day. As a result, all other classes were pushed forward a slot and PE wouldn’t be taking place at the end of the day as it usually did. English class had started up so it was just you, the octopus, and Karasuma.

The pair seemed in good spirits despite their spat. While not behaving… friendly, per se, they were certainly tolerating one another well. 

Something had been nagging at you though.

And you supposed now was as good a time as any to let it out.

“Karasuma, can we talk?”

Both of your coworkers looked at you in surprise.

“Sure. Should we…?” he gestured to the door.

“No… it’s okay, I don’t mind talking about it with Korosensei here." you took a breath, “I wanted to talk about my fight with Terasaka and Okano the other day.”

Karasuma’s expression was stoic, his tone measured, “Yes? What about it?”

“...Takaoka.”

You saw surprise register on both of their faces.

“Takaoka hurt the kids. He didn’t even hurt them as badly as I hurt Terasaka. What he did didn’t leave marks. I know that my skill has improved and that was a marker of it, but why are we not… why am I not being treated in the same manner?”

The pair stared at you for a long moment.

“Reader...” Korosensei started to speak but Karasuma raised a hand.

“What was your intention in the fight with Terasaka?” Karasuma sat back, regarding you.

You thought about it.

Anger… you were so angry, so frustrated… but… you were angry because…

_ I can’t save him… _

“I wanted to protect people.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie.

But not entirely true.

“And Takaoka?”

You paused, looking down at your desk for a moment.

“Takaoka was trying to dominate the children. To establish himself as a leader, a tyrant.” he looked across at you, “When you injured Terasaka, you immediately went to aid him. You didn’t think of anything else. Not even your own victory or accomplishment.”

You let that sink in.

You’d been so focused on having hurt a student… you didn’t even think of the rest of it. Treating injuries was second nature.

“There’s also another key difference between you and Takaoka.” Karasuma said, stacking the paperwork on his desk, “Takaoka wouldn’t have stopped until the boy was in the hospital.”

That said, he rose to his feet, “I’ve got a conference call with the Ministry. I trust that answered your question?”

You nodded silently.

“Good. And before you beat yourself up too much,” he smirked at you, “Terasaka and Okano were happy to assist in your training. They said as much to me personally.”

And with that, he shut the door behind him.

Something touched your throat and you jumped before realizing it was one of Korosensei’s tendrils.

“I’m okay...” you said softly, touching it.

He withdrew, “I’m surprised that you would consider yourself comparable to Mr. Takaoka.”

“I just… I don’t know, I felt like I did more damage?” you frowned.

“...Reader, I know that this goes against your nature. Do you want to scale back your traini-”

“No!” you surprised yourself with the outburst and felt heat rush to your face, “N-no… I asked for this. I asked Karasuma about self-defense and he’s right. Offense is going to be a part of this, no matter what way I slice it. I’m going to  _ have _ to be able to protect the kids.”

_ To protect you… _

You took a breath, “I just… I don’t  _ ever _ want to be like Takaoka.”

His face softened into fondness, a gentle pink coloring his features, “Reader, I can _ assure _ you that you are as far from him in nature as anyone ever  _ could _ be.”

Tears welled up suddenly and you quickly ran a hand over your face.

You… hadn’t realized how badly you’d needed to hear that.

“Now,” a hand came to rest on your shoulder gently, “How did I do on my test?”

You faltered, “What?”

He chuckled, “You were grading my test during your stint in jail.”

You laughed a little, “How do you  _ think  _ you did? You  _ aced _ it.”

He… actually looked relieved. 

“Did you really think you were going to fail or something?” you shook your head.

When he responded, his tone was soft, “I might be a super creature but I’m not infallible, Reader. And in this topic, you have far more experience than I do.” 

“...it doesn’t really feel like it… I mean… I know I do? But you know...” you gestured, “You’re  _ you _ .”

“As I said before, while books are an excellent source of knowledge, text pales in comparison to experience. And you have a wealth of that.” a tendril rested lightly on your knee and you covered it with a hand.

After a moment you turned your attention back to your lesson plan, “...Oh god.”

“Nue?” he looked over at you, curious.

You sighed, holding your head in your hands, “I still have to plan  _ Sex Ed _ .”

He laughed, “I’m sure you will do  _ excellently _ .”

Wow. Ha. OKAY.

Your face was on fire, “And you promised the kids you’d sit in. It is going to be non-stop jokes, you know that, right?”

“I’m well aware.” he chuckled, “As mortifying as it is, it is a needed class. And it will be fun to watch you squirm.”

“Like you won’t be.” you rolled your eyes.

He only laughed in response.

Something in you felt loosened, eased. Even with everything going on, the new semester starting up, and the potential doom at the end of it…

Right now felt good.

It was good to be back.

You spend the next two periods working on your lesson plan with Irina grading papers across from you. She seemed distracted and in no mood to talk despite your best efforts at chit chat. So you opted to just let her be.

Whatever had happened out on the mountain had her thinking hard, that was for sure...

Just before lunch, there was a knock on the faculty room door. It opened slightly to reveal the rough blonde mop of hair belonging to Muramatsu.

“Hey, need something?”

“Uh… Kinda burned myself during science...” he held up a hand that had a growing blister along one finger.

“Oh, shit. Okay hold on.” you got up and took a look, “Have you already run water over it.”

He gave a nod, “Five minutes like you taught us.”

“Oof, yeah this is second degree. Come on, let’s get you bandaged.”

You led the way into the nurse’s office and gestured for him to take a seat. You went through the bandages, locating the best non-stick ones before coming back to him.

“How’d you manage this anyway?” you asked, sitting on one of the rolling chairs and scooting up to him.

He offered his hand, “Uh… well, I kinda grabbed the wrong end of the tongs we were using to heat stuff in the bunsen burner...”

“Ouch.” you made a face, “Not a good time.”

“Yeaaaaah…” he sighed, “‘S gonna be a problem at work.”

“Work?” you asked, wrapping the bandage carefully around the finger.

“Well, I mean… okay, it’s not really work? Like, not a job job. The school won’t let you have one of those. Basically I just help my dad out with his ramen shop.”

“Yeah? What’s the shop called?”

“Matsuraiken.” he shrugged, “It’s not the best place but it’s been in the family for ages so, you know.”

“Maybe I should swing by sometime.”

“You really shouldn’t. The ramen’s terrible.”

You laughed, “It can’t be that bad.”

“It’s an old recipe.” he made a face, “Really bland.”

“So the school won’t let you have a job?”

He shook his head, “Nah, Principal Asano says it interferes with studies. That’s why we don’t  _ technically _ call mine a job. I’m just helping out. Dad gives me an allowance though.”

“So you’re working just not  _ officially _ .”

He nodded, “Yeah. I help out as one of the cooks so this is kind of a pain.” he gestured to his hand.

“Well, if your dad has any problems with you taking time off just send him to me. I’ll be happy to vouch for you. You’re going to want at least a day for that to start getting better before you do much work with it.”

He nodded, “Alright.”

“So, you like working at the ramen shop?”

“Yeah, I love cooking. Just wish dad would let me change things up a bit. The place needs an overhaul, bad.” he stood, "I should probably get back to class. Thanks, Doc!"

You gave a wave as he headed out the door and pulled out your notes.

Matsuraiken.

You'd have to check it out.

You'd just closed the book when your phone chimed. One notification from Ritsu.

[Mx. Reader could we talk?]

[Sure.]

She popped up on your screen immediately. You gave a wave.

"Hello! Congratulations on your team's win!'

"I really didn't do much, but thanks."

"I wanted to inquire about the trip we were planning before Okinawa."

Trip…

You paused, thinking.

"Trip?"

"Yes, before Okinawa after my camera upgrade. We spoke about visiting Miraikan…"

Miraikan...

"Oh! Yes! Oh my god, Ritsu, I'd forgotten. Thank you for reminding me."

"Of course! I did have a question about the plans."

"Yeah?"

"Given the nature of the trip, I wanted to make a request that both Takebayashi and Korosensei join us."

Wh..what???

"Korosensei is the most efficient form of transportation, Takebayashi is accustomed to wearing my body camera and it would be an excellent experience to acquire more data."

"More… data?"

"On Korosensei's behaviors outside of the classroom." 

You had a feeling she meant his interactions with you.

"Well, I wouldn't mind but you'll need to ask them as well."

"Of course!" She chirped, "I will let you know when they reply!"

And with that, she was gone.

What the hell…

What had you even signed up for?

You got your answer in the form of a text from the octopus.

"Can you believe it? We're going on a double date!"

This was swiftly followed by confirmation from Ritsu that both Korosensei and Takebayashi had agreed on the trip.

Well...that was an _ interesting _ situation.

An interesting situation that future you could worry about.

Lunch found you camped out in the classroom with the kids. Karasuma had arrived with bags from a local cake shop. He looked tired and put out, but when he sat the bags down in front of the kids a small smile crossed his face at their excitement.

Isogai and Megu made quick work of handing out the dessert and soon everyone had cake alongside their lunch.

Irina had camped out at a set of desks with Nakamura, Yada, and Megu. She glanced over at Karasuma, "Thought all the Robbers got cake."

He looked over at her almost surprised, "Yeah?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Where's mine?"

His tone was as deadpan as ever, "The octopus said you quit playing."

Her expression soured, "I wonder why  _ that _ might have happened."

There was a pause and a shadow passed over Karasuma's face.

Oof… something must have gone down between them out there.

You wondered what.

Opening your prepackaged slice of cake, you took a bite. Rich, soft, and delicious. Strawberries and cream.

"Good work out there today." Karasuma addressed the class, "Even if the octopus was lenient, you did an excellent job applying what we both taught you."

There was a chuckle from the octopus in question and you shook your head with a grin. 

The laugh went ignored by Karasuma, "Keep that up and I'd say our chances of achieving our goal are going to increase exponentially." 

There was a round of cheers from the children and the classroom devolved into excited chatter about various parkour techniques. As you worked your way through your slice of cake you noticed Karasuma ducking out of the classroom for a moment. When he returned he held another bag in his hands. From this, he produced another prepackaged slice of cake. Not saying a word, he placed it in front of Irina. She paused, glancing back at him. After that, he took one out for himself and-

You couldn't help but stare as he offered the last box in the bag to Korosensei.

You weren't the only one staring, the octopus looked flustered for half a second before accepting the gift with his trademark grin, "Aw, Karasuma, you  _ do _ care."

"Consider it me returning the favor for lunch the other day." The man's voice was dismissive, quiet.

"You didn't have to but it is certainly appreciated." He was already digging in.

Well…

Maybe you weren't the only one with a soft spot for the octopus.

Sugino's voice dipped through the chatter suddenly, "Man, those two were monsters on the mountain today." The boy sat back in his chair with a sigh, "I thought for sure we were going to lose."

"Really?" Karma smirked, "They got outsmarted by a bunch of kids! Not exactly impressive if you ask me."

Nagisa shrugged slightly, "Yeah but we wouldn't have come up with that plan without their guidance. It's part of what makes them good teachers. Mr. Karasuma adds little twists to our classes so we don’t get bored. And Korosensei comes up with games to entertain us." He paused, eyeing the strawberry he had speared on his fork, "I get the feeling they would make a great team. They might even be good friends if they weren’t assassin and target."

Fuwa leaned over his shoulder, stealing the strawberry from his fork and popping it in her mouth.

"Hey!"

"I don't know about friends." She joined them with a grin, "But they'd make a great fighting duo."

Nagisa looped an arm protectively around his cake.

"That sounds like a wreck," Yoshida called over.

"No, really! They'd make a great opposites duo. Karasuma would be the straight man and Korosensei would be the comedy." Fuwa insisted.

"Fuwa that sounds less like a fighting team and more like a buddy cop movie…" Nagisa sounded less than convinced by her suggestion.

"The octopus would be better off playing the bad guy anyway!" Terasaka called over, "He'd make a great robber!"

"Excuse me?!" Korosensei was working up a tantrum, you could see it in his face, "I would never break the law!"

Said the assassin.

Who had murdered over a thousand people.

You rolled your eyes. 

Not to mention...

How many zoning laws did his houses break? 

What about that crack about tax evasion?

You were fairly certain he wasn't supposed to run booths at the matsuri either…

And that was just the tip of the iceberg, you were sure.

There were probably a million minor infractions governments could get him on.

Jailing him… 

That was a different story…

The idiot in question had launched into a rant about his honorable qualities.

"I am but a humble servant of academia! A role model to misled youth seeking to better themselves!"

Humble your ass.

"A role model to actress stalkers everywhere.~" Hazama waved a hand idly.

"With tentacles that quiver with anticipation!" Nakamura laughed.

"Boys and girls!" He fumed, "That was my  _ private  _ correspondence!!"

"Not that private when you showcase it all the time, teach." Karma chuckled.

The octopus flailed in dismay and you laughed to yourself.

You loved this idiot.

After school you joined Korosensei and the class on the lawn. The students were busy staking out the outline of the greenhouse, a process that involved a lot of measuring and remeasuring. The octopus would take time to check their work in between vanishing and reappearing with supplies. Lumber, saws, nails, hammers, bags of gravel…

Where he was getting it all you had no idea.

Once the outline had been suitably marked Isogai set to work coordinating the building of the base frame, a large wooden rectangle that would support the surrounding walls.

"Okay, so according to Korosensei's plans we need to notch these boards here…"

They seemed to be on top of things. You were always impressed by how coordinated the class could be as a group-

Your legs were knocked out from under you by a strong blow to the back of your knees. Reaching out to catch yourself, you had the wind knocked out of you by a weight tackling your back. An arm crossed your throat in a chokehold.

"Jeez, Doc, I didn't think it was gonna be this easy." Karma laughed, "You really didn't learn much from Okano and Terasaka, huh?"

You slammed a hand out onto the grass, trying to catch your breath.

What the fuck?

Where had he even  _ come _ from?

Your brain was frantic for a moment but then came a moment of clarity.

Karasuma had shown you this in training.

You shoved with your arm, rolling the boy off of your back and into the grass. With his grip loosened, you pushed yourself upright and put some space between you.

He smirked, “Well, well, looks like you  _ did _ pay attention during drills.”

“You’re one to talk, you don’t even show up half the time!” Terasaka called over, “Kick his ass, Doc!”

Yeah.

Sure.

You’d get right on that Terasaka.

The redhead was looking down his nose at you. Chin tipped up.

Okinawa…

Karma wasn’t taking you seriously.

You could use that. You had no idea how just yet but you could use that.

His eyes darted to the side-

Flashing blue eyes filled with murderous intent.

You noticed Nagisa too late, the boy slipped in close and jabbed you in the stomach. 

The blow shouldn’t have been a problem. Nagisa was a lithe little thing and physical power was not his strong suit but fuckin’ hell-

He’d thrown all he had right into your solar plexus.

Gasping, you stumbled backwards.

You couldn’t breathe.

Coughing, you fell back on the grass.

The boy had knocked the fucking wind out of you.

“Mx. Reader, are you okay?”

You looked up, catching your breath. He was kneeling in front of you, blue eyes filled with concern. Nothing like the deadly look they’d held moments before.

Okinawa…

_ He doesn’t look powerful. He doesn’t like to stand out. He just seemed embarrassed. _

The boy looked apologetic.

_ People who don’t put you on your guard. People who don’t scare you… are probably the most dangerous. _

You could see Karma standing there, watching you. A flicker of acknowledgment crossed his face.

You’d seen Nagisa vicious before. But to be on the receiving end of it…

Karma’s words had never rung more true.

“I’m-” you gasped for a moment, slowing your breathing, “I’m fine, Nagisa.”

This was going to be a long semester…


	123. Home

A couple of hours later and the greenhouse had a base. It didn’t look like much yet, just a rectangular frame of wood outlining where the floor would be. The whole thing was staked into the ground. Most of the time, from what you could tell, had been spent measuring and making sure everything lined up properly. There was still a lot left to do but the kids were excited and you caught Isogai's embarrassed smile a few times. You gave him a grin in return and made a note to yourself to check in with him.

You were packing up your things when your phone chimed.

The octopus. Of course.

[I have a tutoring session with a few of the children, perhaps we could meet at your place later? ( ◜‿◝ )♡]

[Sure thing, Koroko. Don’t worry about bringing food. I’ll make dinner.]

There was a spammed line of hearts followed by:

[Then I’ll bring dessert!]

[Sounds good. See you soon. (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤]

[(*＾3＾)/～♡]

The mountain hike was calm and a breeze was helping take the edge off the sticky humid air. 

The aquarium and now a museum, two interesting upcoming trips.

How were they going to go?

You should probably talk to the octopus about the Miraikan trip. It would be good to set ground rules regarding how you would behave in front of the kids.

How should you act? How much should you hide? You had already denied it even when Takebayashi had approached you on the topic...

Not questions you imagined you'd be asking yourself today but valid things to consider.

Obviously you wouldn’t be making out in front of them or anything like that but how much should you confirm what they knew? Ritsu could easily record things and Takebayashi was sharper than you’d given him credit for. You definitely didn’t trust Ritsu not to use it to her advantage. As much as she was a bright and interesting girl her primary directive was  _ to literally kill your boyfriend. _

So that was…

Yeah…

The pair of them keeping the secret was one thing but it wasn’t a promise of safety. It didn’t exempt them from plotting their own assassination attempts based on what they learned from being out with the two of you.

You would need to be careful.

You reached the main campus lost in thought about what sorts of things Ritsu and Takebayashi could cook up together. Given his knowledge of explosives and her learning programs well…

It wasn’t a reassuring train of thought.

“Ah, Mx. Reader… just the individual I was hoping to see.” the tone was warm but it made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

Principal Asano loomed in your vision, the afternoon sun highlighting the golds and reds in his auburn hair. It added to his illusion of friendliness but the darkness in his brown eyes was the same.

Why the hell was he looking for you of all people?

“Hello, sir.”

He eyed you for a long moment, as if appraising you, “I do hope you’ve been enjoying your time at my school.”

You nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“Now, as I understand it, you were instrumental in Takebayashi’s return to the main campus.“

You faltered for a moment, “I wouldn’t say instrumental but he did talk to me about his decision, yes.”

“Clearly the influence of E Class proved to be too much for the boy, however, if you know of any other students inclined to return I ask that you let me know.”

“Sir?” 

Was he asking what you thought he was asking?

“It’s helpful to prepare my offers ahead of time.” he gestured, “To remind the children of their worth.”

That was a laugh coming from him. You tried to keep your body loose, not tense, but it was hard.

“I can certainly let you know if any more students ask me about it.” you nodded.

Like hell you would but sure, you’d play along for now.

“Excellent. And do feel free to encourage their return. I imagine they’re not pleased by the state of the building.”

You paused and looked up at him, “Speaking of, sir, would it be possible to patch a leak in the roof? We have a few and it’s been-”

“Now why would we need to do that?” he gave a chuckle, “The rainy season is over.”

“Yes, but-”

He cut you off with a smile, “And, should E Class inevitably fail at their task, I imagine that it won’t matter anymore.”

You froze, staring at him.

He…

Your blood boiled but you bit your tongue.

The last thing you needed on top of everything this semester was to lose your job.

“I understand.”

“Not to worry.” He clapped a hand on your shoulder amicably, “If they do succeed there will still be a place for you at Kunugigaoka.”

You looked up at him, curious.

“We are always in need of more teaching assistants… and janitorial staff,” he said it as though he were offering you a benediction.

There was a moment’s silence between you before he removed his hand, giving a wave, “I’ve kept you long enough. I’ll let you head home.”

“Thank you, sir.” you scurried towards the exit of the campus, your skin crawling and the sensation of his eyes on you burrowing into the back of your head.

The discomfort didn’t fade until you reached the train station. 

You didn’t feel any kind of comfortable until you were on the train and speeding away from the school towards your apartment.

Fucking Asano.

You sighed and pulled out your phone, shooting a text to the octopus.

[So, Principal Asano wants me to tell him if other students want to leave E Class.]

[Is that so?~]

[He also refuses to fix the roof because the world is ending.]

[Naturally. You have to understand by now, Reader. This system is designed to punish our students.]

You sighed.

[I know. Doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.]

A flurry of texts came in from him.

[Buck up! Everyone loves the underdog and we have a classroom full of them!]

[Asano has certainly made things harder but he’s also inadvertently helped to motivate.]

[While our students might not want to go back to main campus they do want to beat main campus.]

[And as a result, they strive for excellence.]

[We give them a safe place to grow and succeed.]

You smiled to yourself. It was always adorable when he talked about the kids and, well, he was right. Competition with the main campus was just as much a motivating factor as the reward money among the kids. You’d seen as much when they’d won the Okinawa trip.

[You don’t always have to be right you know.]

You could almost hear the chuckle in his reply.

[Nonsense. You love it. ( ˘ ³˘)]

You shook your head.

[Okay, fine. ❤ (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)]

[❤ See you tonight.]

[❤]

You sat back, looking out the window at the world speeding by. Even with the uncomfortable run-in with Asano it felt nice to be able to breathe a sigh of relief. Nothing major was hanging over your head at this moment. No threats of your relationship being outed. No worries about telling your story. No large scale assassination attempts underway.

Sure, there were things on your mind. Two trips, a sex-ed class to plan for, and Nagisa and Karma’s new task of fighting you but those were manageable.

They weren’t  _ as _ anxiety-inducing.

Which freed up more thoughts for things like what you’d wear to your aquarium date or what to make for dinner. 

Speaking of dinner... 

You stopped at a grocery on the way home, picking up a few ingredients.

And a couple of boxes of bamboo shoot cookies.

As you made your way up to your apartment you passed by a familiar face in the hall. Mrs. Konda smiled, “Good evening!”

“Mrs. Konda! Good evening!” you gave a small bow which she returned.

“Are you well?” she eyed you in that shrewd way that mothers had.

“Oh, uh-”

The train.

After Takebayashi had scared the hell out of you.

Of  _ course, _ she was worried, you hadn’t told her how things had turned out.

You smiled, “Yes. Things turned out okay in the end.”

She nodded, “See? A mother knows.”

You chuckled.

“Mom?” called a voice from the hall.

She looked over her shoulder, “Manners!”

A tall boy, probably college age, exited her apartment and joined her, clearly embarrassed. He was dressed casually with short, fluffy black hair.

“Sorry, mom,” he mumbled. Catching your eye he looked between her and you for a moment.

“This is Mx. Reader, my nice neighbor I’ve told you about. The school teacher.”

You’d long since given up trying to correct her that you were a school nurse. Though the teaching part wasn’t entirely untrue these days.

“Oh!” he smiled with a bow, “Nice to meet you. I’m Konda Daiki.”

“Nice to meet you too.” you returned the bow.

About that time a salaryman with his hands full of grocery bags came up the stairs behind you.

“Oh, I’m so sorry-” he paused, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

You saw the family resemblance immediately.

Another member of the Konda family for sure. Definitely older than the one you had just met.

You stepped aside, “Sorry!”

He spotted Mrs. Konda and her son and paused.

“Mom, is everything alright?”

Yep. Called it.

“Everything is fine.” she waved a hand, “This is my neighbor, Mx. Reader.”

“Oh.” he gave you a bow, “Good to meet you. I’m Konda Takuya.”

“My eldest.” She chuckled and waved to the younger brother, “Help your brother carry those in.”

“Yes, mom.” The youngest snapped to and took some of the bags from his brother. The two made their way back to the apartment.

She shook her head with a smile, “They stop by for dinner. I’m surprised you haven’t seen them before.”

“I might have passed them on the stairs,” you said apologetically.

Speaking of-

“Oi!” someone bumped into you, “Stop blocking the stair-”

The crass voice cut off suddenly. Looking back you saw another boy, a little older than her youngest it looked like. His hair was dyed blonde and his clothing trended far more toward street fashion.

“Don’t be rude!” snapped Mrs. Konda.

The boy who, just a moment ago, had been all bluster quieted instantly.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, going to walk past you.

“Oi!” she looked at him, “Introduce yourself!”

He turned around, red-faced, “I’m Konda Sosuke.” he bowed, probably lower than he really needed to.

You had a feeling he was trying to avoid eye contact.

“I’m Mx. Reader.” you smiled, “Sorry for blocking the stairs.”

Mrs. Konda nodded, “Go help your brothers.”

“Yes, Mom.” the boy practically raced to the apartment.

“Boys.” she gave you a look with a chuckle then paused, noticing your own grocery bags, “Are you having company again?”

“Oh, uh… yeah.” you gave a small smile.

“I’m glad.” she nodded, “He’s a good match for you.”

  1. You felt your face burn.



“T-thanks?”

She smiled and nodded, “I should go cook before they eat all the ingredients.”

You chuckled a bit, “Alright, Mrs. Konda. It was- uh... lovely meeting them. Have a good evening!”

She nodded, “You too!”

As she made her way to her apartment you noticed she seemed happier than usual. She had always seemed proud of her children, you supposed having them stop by was a bright spot in her week.

Not to mention she seemed to be getting invested in your personal drama too.

Hoo boy.

Well, that was going to be something fun to deal with.

But first, dinner.

Simple, filling, comfortable. That’s what you wanted to make tonight. First things first you filled the rice cooker, turning it on. That done you took out your main ingredient. Mackerel fillets.

Setting out a plate you took out a bottle of sake from your fridge, pouring a bit onto the surface. You placed the fish in its sake bath, making sure it was coated on both sides. After patting them dry you sprinkled with salt. Okay, time to keep an eye on the clock. You didn’t want to overdo it.

While you waited for the fish to cure you filled a pot with water and set it up to boil on the range. You took the spinach from your bag and rinsed it thoroughly, setting it aside. 

You’d considered trying to make dashi from scratch for the miso soup tonight but you were already tackling fish and you wanted to streamline things. Mixing your dashi granules into another pot, you set it to boil as well. 

In the first pot, you put in your spinach, folding them into the boiling water with a long pair of chopsticks. While that boiled, you grabbed a bowl of cold water, setting it on the counter.

After a minute or so you strained the spinach and moved it to the cold water to soak.

Okay, back to the fish. You patted them dry again and pulled out the grilling tray of your range.

Shit, water, that’s right.

You added some water to the bottom of the grill first then laid the fillets on the rack on top.

With that cooking you went back to your spinach, wringing water out of it and chopping it into smaller portions. You set this aside as well.

That’s when you heard the door. Your idiot was home.

The second the door was shut you rounded the corner and tugged him down by his collar, kissing him. A small gasp was muffled against your mouth and when you parted, you gave him a smile, "You said IOU…"

He laughed and you caressed his face, touching your forehead to his.

"How'd the tutoring go?"

"Splendidly! The students have been improving by leaps and bounds over the summer and now we're seeing how much progress they've made." His smile gentled, "I am so proud of them."

You couldn't help yourself, reaching up, you tugged him down again into a soft kiss.

A confused, yet happy hum buzzed against your lips.

When you parted you were grinning, "You're so cute when you talk about the kids."

Pink spread across his features and he laughed, "Why is that?"

"You're so passionate about it all and so invested in them."

When he spoke it was with that soft, genuine tone that warmed your heart.

“Of  _ course _ I am. I’m their teacher, after all.”

You hugged him tightly and he laughed, nuzzling you. 

“Something smells delightful.”

“Yeah, dinner’s just finishing up.” you ducked back into the kitchen, prepping the dressing for the spinach. When you’d finished you turned to find that he’d already tended to the rest of the meal, plating it.

You gave him a look, “I was supposed to be making you dinner.”

“You did!” he protested, “I simply helped finish up.”

You rolled your eyes and sat down across from him, “Fine, fine...” 

He just chuckled.

Dinner turned out far better than you expected and you were happy for it. You hadn’t really done salt grilled fish properly so the fact that it came out good was a relief.

“Sooooo...” he drawled, smirking across at you, “We have a double date coming up.”

“Yeaaah, about that.” you took a sip of your water, “Uh… how are we going to handle that… exactly?”

“Nue? In what way?”

“Well, I mean… I’ve still told them both we’re not together. I didn’t want to confirm it even if they’re pretty sure already.”

He chuckled, “You’re asking if we should treat it as a normal date, then.”

You nodded.

“I think keeping it professional would be for the best, especially if you haven’t confirmed their belief.”

You figured.

Suddenly, a thought struck you, “...wait, have either of them mentioned it to you?”

“Not outside of the class’ usual shenanigans.” he shrugged slightly, “I suppose they think they might get further with you.”

You frowned, “Okay but they know you’re easy as hell to tease. Seems a little weird...”

“Then perhaps,” he grinned across at you, “They are committed to keeping it a secret.” you made a face and he laughed, “Is that really so difficult to believe?”

“Yeah, still wrapping my head around that part.”

“I imagine you’re still wrapping your head around several things. Nagisa certainly took you by surprise.”

You sighed, tipping your head back, “Yeah… those two are going to be trouble.”

“Just remember what I told you.” he held up a finger, “Nagisa and Karma will be much sneakier in their approach to you. Okano and Terasaka were very upfront with their attacks.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind...”

“Now, ready for dessert?” he grinned at you and before you could reply the dishes had been cleared away and sitting in front of you was-

“What… is this?”

In front of you was a slice of something. Possibly a tart? It had a dark chocolatey looking interior and was piled high with cream dotted with… something. Nuts maybe? The whole thing had a layer of strings of pale brown frosting.

“Mont blanc tart. A staple of the season.”

“Mont blanc?” you turned the plate a bit, eyeing it. He was already taking a bite of his own slice.

“Yes!” he gave you a grin, “Mont Blanc is a chestnut puree dessert from France. This is a different take on it but it’s no less delicious.”

You took a bite.

The whole thing was rich and sweet with a smooth chestnut flavor to it.

You heard a chuckle and when you looked up he had his phone out.

“...You took my picture didn’t you.”

He grinned and snapped another one, “Of course! I take it you like it?”

You nodded, “It’s pretty rich though.”

“It can be a bit overwhelming but, as chestnuts are coming into season I thought it would be nice to try.” he sounded apologetic.

“It’s great.” you gave him a smile, “I just might have to save some for later is all.”

“Of course!”

The tart bested you and in the end, you had to put half of your slice away in the fridge. When you came out of the kitchen you found him camped out on your couch in his pajamas. You ducked into your room, changing, and flunked down on the couch next to him.

He smirked, eyeing you, “Much Like Hold?”

You looked down at your shirt and it’s slogan, “I mean, yes?”

He laughed and scooped you up, pulling you into his lap he faltered when you winced.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah just… Kinda sore. Lot of running around and getting the shit beat out of me the last few days...”

He frowned slightly and you felt tentacles work their way up the back of your shirt, gently kneading at muscles. You laid your head against his chest, “I’m going to fall asleep if you keep that up.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Mmmmm… not really.” you sighed, your eyes slipping closed. He was warm and comfortable and the movements of the tendrils along your back were helping significantly.

You were starting to drift off when he asked a question you weren't expecting.

"Do you really worry that you're as bad as Takaoka?" 

The question was gentle, careful. You pried your eyes open and looked up at him.

"I do…" you replied, "Not all the time but when I hit Terasaka, well…"

Another in a long line of people you hurt it seemed...

His voice was soft, lips grazing your forehead, "Reader, you don't have to fear that." 

"I… I don't want to assume I'm good." it almost came out a whisper, "If I just think I'm good and in the right all the time then I won't know if I'm causing problems…"

The tendrils working on your back withdrew and he held you close.

"That doesn't mean you should assume you're  _ bad _ ." His hand brushed through your hair, "We've talked about the nature of harm and the grayness of good and evil before. I understand if you doubt your own judgment of yourself but at  _ least _ trust mine."

That made your heart seize and you hugged him tightly, your face buried in his chest. Holding you close, he ran a hand along your back.

Safe.

Being with him always made you feel safe.

And seen… for better or worse. 

_ I love you no matter where you came from or what you've done or what you're called... _

He hummed softly, a tendril coming up to brush back your hair.

Looking up at him, you stifled a yawn.

He laughed softly.

“If you’re that tired, Reader. Perhaps we should move to the futon?”

You nodded, “Yeah, maybe.”

In a flash, you were under blankets in your room.

You gave him a look, “You know… I  _ can _ walk.”

“But you look so  _ cute _ when you’re surprised!” he grinned at you as he flipped off the light.

You relaxed against him for a moment then smirked, "So, Cops and Robbers huh?  _ That's _ what had you so excited?"

"In part..." he'd gone a touch pink.

"In part?" You snuggled up next to him, resting a hand on his chest.

He nodded, a hand coming up to cradle yours, tendrils holding you loosely.

"What else then?"

He looked apprehensive, "I… I'm afraid to say it."

"Why?"

The response was soft and damn near broke your heart.

"Because I worry you won't feel the same."

"Cuddle Fish…” you leaned over, kissing him, "You can tell me."

His hand squeezed yours gently.

"This… us… it doesn't feel fragile anymore.”

“Yeah… ?” you smiled.

With a nod, he looked at you, “Yes.”

“It feels normal… ?” you bit your lip slightly.

His expression shifted, relief flooding his face, “Yes. It feels  _ stable _ ... ”

“Something wrong with that?” you kissed his cheek gently.

“No, it’s just… a little frightening.”

“Why?”

Chuckling, he shook his head, “Because it’s new.” he sighed, “I’m not used to having someone waiting for me… or… any of this. And it… I’m honored that you are willing to share this with me. To share your feelings with me…”

“Of course.” you kissed him softly, “I’m happy you feel safe enough to be with me.”

He was silent for a moment, “You… you feel like home.”

The words were hushed and raw. As though he was baring you his throat, at your mercy. Your heart  _ ached _ .

Throwing your arms around him, you kissed him. He made a surprised sound, tentacles coming up to hold you.

And then you were both laughing, nuzzling one another.

You grinned, “I’m glad... And… hey if there’s anything you need like… if you  _ do _ need space-”

There was a slight note of panic in his reply, “ _ No, no! _ I’m simply coping with  _ having _ this. It’s new and it’s more than I ever expected… ”

He pulled you close, kissing you. You hummed softly into the kiss and pressed your forehead to his.

“Well, I’m here. And if you don’t want me to go anywhere, I’m not going anywhere.” you smiled, kissing him again, “I’ll be home for you for as long as you’ll have me.”

A flicker of blue crossed his face accompanied by a blush and you found yourself held tightly. A shudder moved through him and you heard a familiar sound.

“...Are you crying?”

The response was muffled and petulant, “Maybe.”

You laughed a little and kissed his head, “Is this because that was romantic?”

Again the reply was muffled into your shoulder, “Maybe.”

Nuzzling him, you kissed his head again, pulling back. His face was streaming tears. Laughing, you used the edge of your sleeve to wipe his face.

“You’re  _ precious _ .” you cupped his face in your hands, kissing him again. You were rewarded with a happy sigh as he nuzzled against your palm. 

You chuckled, "You know... Instead of Koroko I should call you  _ kokoro _ ."

He went pink, glancing at you. Leaning in, you pressed another gentle kiss to his face, "I think it's fitting."

He laughed, clearly flustered, and buried his face in your shoulder again.

What a darling…

"It's lovely," he spoke against your neck, "Having somewhere I belong…"

"I found a place I belong, too." you let your hand glide across his shoulder.

"Hm?" He looked down at you, all grin and curiosity.

You returned his smile.

"With you." 

There was a pause. He flickered pink and then yellow which slowly dissolved to blue.

Your brain went into an immediate panic.

Too much. That was too much. You shouldn't have said it. You-

His voice was filled with an echo of pain as he spoke, "I... Hope you won't try to follow me when..."

You stared at him for a moment as the weight of his question sunk in.

"No... I..." 

You'd thought of it. In the back of your head. That particular demon was always scratching around looking for any excuse to end your existence. But would you do it?

_ Little red footprints on the carpet. _

_ Rachel's smile. _

_ It's okay... We've got her now. _

_ You can let go _

You shook your head, "I'm just happy to have this now..."

You found yourself pulled close.

"As am I, Reader. As am I."

It was quiet in your room under the warmth of the blankets. A hushed sort of sanctuary from the world outside. A place without bbs and knives. A place without children trying to hurt either of you. A bubble of calm in the middle of this tumultuous year.

A place you could both just…  _ Be _ .


	124. Mine (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written before all the crazy shit happening in the news but it suits the characters so please don’t take this as an endorsement of the insanity in the outside world right now. This is just Korosensei being his normal stupid self.  
> Stay safe out there. <3

Rolling over, you propped your head up on your hand, looking at him, "You know, today was not  _ exactly _ what I was thinking of when I said roleplay."

He chuckled and suddenly he was back in his ridiculous cop uniform, leaning in, "Didn't  _ enjoy _ me playing bad cop?"

"You were a bad cop alright." You smirked, "Downright _ lousy _ being bought off with a pin-up like that."

He pouted, "You don't have to rub it in!" Green stripes flickered across his face, "Though as I recall… you have an IOU on good behavior… perhaps I should cash that in.~"

"Well, I mean I did already give you a kiss.” you drawled, amused, “That counts,  _ doesn't it? _ "

His face fell just slightly, "For release? From  _ prison?!" _

Giving him a look, you leaned in, "Are you saying my kisses aren't worth that much?"

He made an alarmed sound, "Of course not! I-"

"Wanted to see what you could get out of me?"

Neon pink.

"Reader!"

You chuckled, putting a hand on his chest, "I'm sorry, what is it, Officer? Was I going  _ too fast? _ "

His eyes widened, “Now, Mx., you- you know the speed limit is-"

You smirked at him and he made an embarrassed noise, too flustered to finish his comment.

"It's illegal to torment an officer." He huffed.

"Guess you better arrest me then. Still got those handcuffs?" You grinned at him.

He went brilliant pink, his cop persona falling away instantly.

_ Interesting _ ...

"Ah, well, yes... I do."

"Wanna try em on me?"

His eyes widened, his skin going deep magenta, "Reader!"

"Is that a yeeees?~"

His mouth opened slightly in shock then closed as he considered your offer.

Shifting a bit, he eyed you. You could tell from his tone that he was trying to restrain his excitement, "Are you sure?"

"I mean if you want to. And if you're okay with it." you felt your face heating up and looked away, “I'd  _ like _ you to."

He stared at you for a long moment before tendrils reached out, gently pulling up on the bottom of your shirt. Following his lead, you lifted your arms letting him drag the shirt off of you. His grin dipped into a grimace.

Oh… your bruises…

Crossing your arms against yourself you looked up at him, "Sorry, I’m looking a little worse for wear right now." 

It was stupid to be embarrassed by this. He knew you ran drills with the kids, things like this were common enough. Hell, he’d patched you up before-

A hand reached out, cupping your cheek. Another moved to gently pull your arms away from your middle, "I'll have to kiss them better."

HA oh god. 

You laughed a little, hiding your face.

"Now, I have something in mind to try..." He said softly, his hands migrating lower to the band of your pajama shorts. You shivered.

"Yeah?" Your breath caught, heart racing.

"And I think I can incorporate the handcuffs into it  _ quite _ nicely, " he smirked.

Suddenly, you found yourself lying back, naked, hands cuffed above your head. His costume was gone. Oh, you  _ already _ liked where this was going...

He leaned down and pressed a long, slow kiss to your lips.

From there he made his way down to the hollow of your throat.

"You are  _ exquisite _ ." He murmured against your skin, "Exquisite, charming, and  _ lovely _ ."

You felt heat rising in your cheeks as he continued. 

_ Oh no... _

"You taste divine, you smell divine..." he paused, leaning down to flick his tongue gently against a nipple. You made a soft squeak of surprise and he chuckled.

" _ Adorable _ ."

You'd been expecting silly cop role-play. This was certainly  _ not _ silly cop role-play…

But… you definitely didn't hate it.

Soft kisses peppered the bruises you'd gotten from your fights with the children. 

Looking up, he stared at you for a long moment, "And you thought you could be beaten out by a  _ magazine _ ..." He leaned in, kissing you. Tendrils trailed along your body, "I hope you understand now that a magazine could  _ never _ top you." 

You turned your face pressing it into your arm and shoulder in embarrassment.

He couldn't just  _ say _ things like that. Especially when you couldn't  _ do _ anything about it…

And when you looked so-

"I love every part of you. Every curve and angle." He kissed softly along your stomach, "You are  _ astounding _ ..."

You squirmed making a soft sound of protest.

"You deny it, I know. But honestly, Reader, it takes so _ little _ from you to test my limits..." His voice wavered slightly, "Sometimes all I want is to take you home and please you until you're  _ begging _ me to stop."

Ohhhhh god...

He faltered, going dark magenta again.

“Ah-I mean-” panic flickered across his features.

"I would  _ love _ that." You gasped, it came out breathless and eager. That seemed to steady his nerves a bit. 

He cleared his throat, obviously still flustered, "I'm still... Surprised at how willing you are to try these things..."

A hand came up to caress your cheek and you turned your head, running your tongue along a finger and taking it in. He gasped, watching you.

When he pulled his hand back you whined.

He chuckled, "What a beautiful sound. The sounds you make, the way you say my name under me... It's..."

He shivered and you looked up at him.

"Koroko..." You moaned, almost begging.

He froze.

_ Shit _ ...

He sat back looking at you in surprise.

_ Oh no. _

Panic surged through you.

"Sorry, uh... I know you said you liked that sometimes. I should have asked bef-" you were cut off by a kiss. Tentacles wrapped around you, holding you close. 

As he pulled back he spoke, bright pink and giddy, "You  _ don't _ have to apologize for that."

You laughed just a bit and sighed, relaxing, "Good cause I was worried there for a second."

He chuckled, a hand cupping your cheek tenderly, "As I said, I am happy with all the things you call me…"

You leaned into the touch.

Tenderness played about his features, "It's not exactly something I've had opportunities to explore…"

"Well, you have plenty right now." You smirked, "Just... Tell me if there's something you want me to stop "

He nodded, the picture of barely contained excitement. Lips pressed to yours and you moaned his name against them.

He shuddered, " _ Everything _ sounds beautiful with your lips wrapped around it "

Oh god, that was...  _ Fuck _ it was a lot...

You turned your face, trying to hide it against your arm again.

A hand turned you back to look at him, "Come now, hiding that is a  _ terrible _ waste..."

Tendrils explored you, tracing your form, caressing tender places.

You bit your lip, squirming.

Oh, this was _ such _ a tease...

A tendril glided across your sex lightly, "Ohhh, the things I want to  _ do _ to you..."

"Mnnn..." You looked up at him, " _ Do _ them! Please…?"

He paused, "Reader..."

_ Nervous. _

Maybe that was a little much?

_ Slow _ .

You gave him a gentle smile, "C'mere."

He leaned down over you, his body radiating heat. There was a touch of concern on his face.

"Tell me what you want, Cuddle Fish," you whispered.

He looked like he might implode from that sentence alone.

"I..." He swallowed, nerves clearly jangled, "I want to please you."

You shivered.

That hadn't  _ quite _ been what you expected.

"I want to please you, to love you, to..." He kissed you softly, "to make you understand that you are beautiful and wonderful..." you made a strangled yelp of embarrassment and he chuckled softly, his voice low by your ear, "I want to make you  _ mine _ ."

You both froze and he buried his face in your shoulder. Practically glowing pink. You tipped your head, grazing your cheek against his. 

When you spoke it came out as a hushed whisper.

"Please?" 

A shiver ran through him and he sat back slightly, eyes wide.

It was easy and hard to say, all at once.

“I  _ want _ to be yours.”

Your face was burning but well… it was true.

You loved him.

You wanted him.

And that he felt the same still just…

It meant  _ so _ much.

Fondness crossed his features, “What did I  _ ever _ do to deserve you?”

“You were  _ you _ .” it came out quiet and gentle.

The pink deepened and he shifted a bit.

You frowned, “Are you okay?”

“Ah… well…” his voice was quiet, “Yesterday’s events...”

The bath. He was still worried about that.

“We don’t have to go all out tonight if you’re not comfortable.” you gave him a smile, “It’s okay.”

He relaxed a touch at that, “It’s… not that I dislike it.”

“I know. You’re worried.”

He nodded.

“So…” you kept your voice soft, “Come here and make me  _ yours _ .”

Bright pink. 

Before you had a chance to say more he was on you. Lips soft against your neck, tentacles roaming along your skin. He parted your legs, looping two of his own over them to keep them open. As a result, your sex was pressed to that sensitive space he produced tentacles from.

Experimentally, you rocked your hips.

You were rewarded with a trembling octopus.

His head dropped forward with a shaking groan. When he met your gaze you tipped your head up. He closed the gap, sealing your lips with his.

Tendrils began to glide along your sex, soft and gentle but differently textured. You laughed a little, shivering. 

This was a new position and  _ holy shit _ did you like it.

"I love you." His arms came up to envelope you, a soft smooth tentacle prodding gently at your entrance while textured flesh ground against your sex.  _ God _ , it was good. Direct, all-encompassing, and overwhelming. 

"I l-love you too…" 

You rocked your hips slowly in time with his movements and his face was suddenly buried in your shoulder with a stifled moan.

_ God… _

The tentacle toying with your entrance pushed in just a touch, just enough to tease.

"Mn!" You rocked your hips a bit harder, "That…  _ oh… _ "

He chuckled against your skin, "Beautiful."

Yesterday had been hard and fast. Tonight was soft and slow. He bent over you, kissing you, a hand sometimes bracing above you, tendrils entwining the fingers of your trapped hands.

Of all the things you'd done so far, this felt the most… normal? You supposed. You both rocked in time with one another, his hands roamed your body and he punctuated his kisses with soft moans of how much he loved you.

The tentacles caressing your sex seemed to go through a few texture variations until one made you gasp under him, your legs reflexively pushing against the floor. He chuckled, the tentacle inside you pushing in more eagerly now. After all his teasing and slickness he sank in deeper than either of you expected.

You cried out, legs trembling and he moved to pull away in alarm-

Ohhhh  _ no _ -

You locked your legs around the others supporting him, rolling your hips, " _ No! _ No, that's… ohhh it so  _ good _ ."

He shuddered at your words and began to thrust the tentacle inside you in slow, teasing motions. Gasping, you tipped your face up to him and were rewarded with gentle kisses.

He nuzzled you for a moment and then you found yourself locking eyes with him. He looked absolutely enchanted by you.

"If you're going to make me yours…" you bit your lip, "Maybe you should fill me?"

He chuckled and slipped out and back in with one smooth stroke, "I'm sorry, is it not enough for you?"

You shuddered, biting your lip, "Not  _ quite _ the sort of filling I meant, Cuddle Fish..."

There was a moment of confusion on his face before his eyes widened. It shifted from shock to fondness.

"It would be an  _ honor _ ."

You felt a shifting of shape inside of you, a warm pulsing expansion testing your limits in the best of ways. 

"A-ah!" You laughed a little, kissing him, "Honor me then…"

He began to thrust in long smooth strokes, tendrils still teasing at your sex. You squirmed, gasping. Oh, he was so…

So perfect…

You buried your face in his neck, moaning against this skin.

He gasped, kissing your temple, “Reader...”

You cried out as he sped up slightly.

The legs looped over yours tightened, guiding your hips.

“Ohhhhh  _ fuck.. _ .” you dropped your head back, the textured flesh against your sex caressed all of it’s most sensitive points. It was playing along the edge of overstimulation.

Kisses were placed to your throat, “You are stunning...”

You shivered, “Y-you’re one to talk.”

The blush in his cheeks deepened so you pressed further.

“Like you’re not beautiful.” you kissed him, “And amazing.”

His eyes suddenly avoided yours. You frowned.

"Hey… Uncuff me?"

He looked at you in surprise.

"I want to hold you…"

His expression softened at that and he reached up to the cuffs around your wrists.

The second they fell away you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him eagerly. You parted with soft laughter, his forehead pressed to yours, "I love you."

"I love you t-too!" You practically yelped as he slid nearly out and back in with one deep thrust.

You gave him a look but he simply chuckled at your annoyance, the tentacle still slipping in and out of you.

“You’re still beautiful.” you murmured, “Inside and out.”

He shivered and kissed you again, his motions speeding up. You gasped, writhing in his grip. He chuckled at your response and leaned down, pressing kisses to your neck.

"I love this," you whispered, running a hand along his cheek.

“As do I.” he turned his head, a tendril ensnaring your hand. He pressed a kiss to your palm lightly.

You pulled his face down to yours again, moaning into the kiss you pressed to his lips. He shuddered, murmuring your name softly in response.

Words spilled from you before you could stop them, “I really do think you’re beautiful, you know.”

Deep pink.

You cupped his cheek, “And I’m happy to be yours...”

He shivered and buried his face in your hand, his voice ragged, “Reader..”

“I love being yours.” you moaned as he hit a place in you that made you shake.

“R-reader...” his head bowed lower, lips grazing your ear, “I’m close...”

“Then let go.” you gasped.

He slowed just a bit, his voice soft, “But… you haven’t-”

Laughing, you kissed his cheek, “Like you’re going to stop at one round.”

He shuddered, picking the pace back up. Stuttering breaths warmed your shoulder and you could tell.

You leaned your cheek against his, your damp skin sticking to him lightly, "That's it, Cuddle Fish…”

A low moan against your ear. Your name murmured brokenly.

“That’s it, come for me..."

He cried out against your shoulder, the tentacle inside you spasming, colors swirling across his skin. 

Ohhhhhh... 

With each motion, you felt it.

His body was shaking in your arms, the tentacle inside you still moving. Holding him close, you pressed kisses to his cheek.

“You are  _ amazing _ .”

He was quiet, his face still buried in your shoulder.

You frowned, “You okay?”

He nodded, pulling back slowly. As the tentacle slowly withdrew you felt fluid pour out of you and shuddered. With everything already sensitive it was an  _ overwhelming _ reminder.

He practically collapsed next to you and you laughed a bit, breathless, “There is no way I wore you out.”

“No… you just...” he reached over, pulling you close, “You feel so good...”

You covered your embarrassed laughter by pressing your face into his chest. He chuckled.

Reaching up, you caught his hand, entwining your fingers in his. 

You looked up at him, "Hey..."

He was still catching his breath, looking down at you.

"I know you're not done yet…”

Would this be too much? You weren’t sure. It seemed like something he might enjoy but…

You took a breath, “How about you come on me for the next round?"

His eyes went wide, "Reader…” he swallowed, his breath still faltering, “Are you sure?"

“That’s why I offered.” you smiled, kissing him again.

He buried his face in your shoulder, his skin hot against yours.

"... you've  _ totally _ thought about it, haven't you?"

A rapid silent nod into your shoulder.

Adorable.

"Mmmm…" you kissed the side of his head, "Yeah? And how did you think it would happen?"

"Certainly not like this." He said softly, pulling back to look at you.

"Yeah? So, how then?"

"Ah…" he was bright pink, "Usually an accident or…" 

His eyes lingered on your lips and you chuckled. He went an even deeper pink.

“You’re adorable.” you grinned at him.

“ _ Reader! _ ”

You laughed, “What?~”

He pouted, “You can’t just  _ say _ things like that!”

With a smirk, you tugged him over to you, “Yeah? Then how about this…” you pressed a kiss to his lips and looked up at him.

"Please?" You begged softly, "Make me yours?”

Instant Magenta.

He buried his face in your shoulder and you laughed, nuzzling him, “See? Adorable!”

“You  _ enjoy _ torturing me.”

“Sometimes.” you agreed.

He sat back, once again using his legs to hold yours open. You shuddered as he leaned in, green stripes circling his head, “Perhaps I should return the favor...”

You felt your face instantly heat up. Ohh god...

With a chuckle, he slid a pearlescent tentacle up against your sex. Looking down, you saw that this one was cock shaped. Slowly, he dragged it against your sex and you gasped, dropping your head back. Another tentacle began to, once again, tease at your entrance.

After the break to rest your body didn’t know what to do with the sensation at first. But quickly, you found yourself whining and gasping under him.

“Stunning...” he leaned in, kissing you softly.

“Korosensei…”

“Mmmm… I think you should still be ready for this...” he pushed into you and you arched, rocking your hips, trying to push him in deeper.

That tone that always tugged at your heart was back. Gentle, genuine, and sweet.

“Beautiful...”

The tentacle sank in deeper and you moaned, hands grasping at the blankets.

One tentacle moved within you, the other glided across your sex. Both overwhelming in their own ways.

Ohhhh god…

He set a slow pace at first, _ torturously _ slow. You gasped, bucking.

“Please, f-faster...”

He chuckled breathlessly, “Now, Reader, if I go too fast it’ll be over too quickly...”

You whined, “P-please...”

“And if you come too quickly I suppose I’ll have to keep going.” he smirked, leaning in close, “To make sure I get my payback.”

You moaned, tipping your head back, “ _ Please! _ ”

A shiver ran through him and he sped up, thrusting insistently into you.

_ Fuck… _

FUCK!

You cried out and he silenced you with a kiss. Moaning against his lips, you trembled, your body overwhelmed with pleasure. When his lips parted from your he smirked, “I do hope you’re not worn out...”

His legs gripped yours and the tentacles tending to you continued their motions. You gasped, arching. You were beginning to get overstimulated but god did he feel  _ good... _

Then the tentacle inside of you angled in a way that made your whole body tense. You clung to him, your body shuddering, “K-koro… ko….”

He cradled you close, “Yes, Reader?”

“That… _ there _ …” you rocked your hips and he kissed you softly in response.

“Here?~” he pressed in deeper against that place.

You were already sensitive, still riding the feeling out from the last one and that just threw you right back over the edge. You buried your face in his front, gasping and felt your legs go numb from the tension in them.

“Exquisite...” he murmured.

His motions slowed but didn’t stop. You could feel him shaking, panting.

“Y-yes… Cuddle Fish…” you reached up, pulling him down so that your forehead pressed to his, “I love you...”

He arched over you, shuddering and crying out. Colors flared to life across his skin. You felt the tentacle against your sex twitch and watched a jet of white decorate your stomach. 

The only sounds for the next few minutes were breathing and your heartbeat. He panted for a moment, his forehead pressed to yours. Then laughed a little, “I love you too...”

It was then that what he’d done began to dawn on him.

You could tell from the way his eyes flicked down to your stomach and his color flashed to neon pink.

You couldn’t help it, you laughed, pulling him into a kiss. 

He buried his face in your shoulder, “I’msosorryaboutthemess.”

You laughed harder, “Why are you apologizing for that? I asked you to do it!”

“Iknow.”

Gently, you reached up, stroking along his head and back.

“That was amazing… you’re amazing.”

He carefully slid out of you and, thanks to the excess of fluids, his retreat was accompanied by a squelching sound. You both froze. He went magenta, you felt your face heat up but-

You started laughing. You couldn’t help it. The look on his face of utter mortified embarrassment, the sound, it was priceless. He, meanwhile, buried his face into the pillow next to you. You only laughed harder, reaching over to put your arm around him, “Oh my god…”

There was a muffled yelp of embarrassment followed by something that was impossible to decipher. You nuzzled him, still chuckling, “What was that? I can’t hear you.”

The response was equally muffled. You kissed his head gently, still chuckling, “I don’t speak pillow, Cuddle Fish. What did you say?”

He parted from the pillow for just long enough that you could hear him clearly.

“That’stheotherreasonIdon’tdothat.”

Laughter surged up in you again and you flopped next to him, giggling, “It’s  _ fine _ . Look that’s probably the least awkward thing I’ve had happen during sex.”

You waved a hand dismissively and when you looked back you saw him staring at you.

“...you’re not going to let me get cleaned up until I tell you one of the stories, are you?”

All of that intense embarrassment had evaporated in an instant. He grinned at you, “Oh no, I’d be happy to let you clean up first but I am certainly interested in your  _ experiences. _ ~”

You laughed, “Fine, fine. Let me shower.”

Before you could move you found yourself in the bathroom with clean clothes and a towel next to you.

You sighed and peeked out into the hall, “I can  _ walk _ you know!”

A tendril waved to you from the bedroom and you rolled your eyes, climbing into the shower.

When you finally felt clean and no longer residually sticky or slick, you toweled off and tugged on your pajamas, joining him in the bedroom.

The futon had been cleaned, things tidied, and he was tucked into the blankets looking sheepish. You chuckled and shut off the light, going over to join him.

You curled up against him immediately, one hand coming to rest on his chest.

“Between you and the kids I’m not going to survive the year.” you looked up at him tiredly.

“Another thing we have in common,” he smirked.

You both laughed softly.

The cheerful haze of afterglow ensured that the dark humor of the joke didn’t bring either of you down. You kissed him and he held you close, his face practically smooshed against your cheek.

“Sooooo… about these awkward stories.~”

“Alright, alright.” you laughed, pushing his face back gently, “I’ll tell you one.”

“One?” he looked a bit crestfallen at that.

“One.” you gave him a look.

He continued pouting and you sighed.

“Fiiiiiiine… two. But that’s all.”

That seemed to satisfy him. His attention was laser-focused on you, eager interest all over his face.

You thought for a moment, “Okay. So, a bonus to using futons. I don’t have to worry about falling off the bed.”

He laughed, “You fell off the bed?”

“Yeah. Ended up with a lovely bruise on my ass too for my trouble. It was hard to sit for a week. I was used to a larger bed than I was in at the time.”

He chuckled, “A definite benefit to futons.”

“Let me think here… ” you laid your head on his shoulder, “It wasn’t  _ with _ someone but I managed to mix up lube and hand sanitizer all on my own.”

“WHAT?!”

Heeeeere we go.

“It was dark, I had them in the same place and I was… in a hurry.” you covered your face with your hand, laughing, “The  _ second _ I put the toy in I realized my mistake and that was possibly the worst time I’ve ever had masturbating.”

He was practically howling.

“I’m lucky though, really. That could have ended up  _ really _ bad.” you laughed, shaking your head, “Thankfully I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything. I would have had to drive across town to a different hospital because there was no way in hell I’d go to the one I worked with. The people on staff would have given me shit for the rest of my life.”

“Why did you have them  _ next to one another? _ ” he looked at you in the dim light from the window.

You shrugged, “Small apartment, not a lot of space. I know better now.”

Shaking his head, he cradled you close to him, “I’m certainly glad of that. I don’t think either of us would enjoy that surprise.”

“Like you’d make a mistake like that.” you rolled your eyes.

“I could if you were distracting me.”

“Uh-huh.” you weren’t convinced.

“You are  _ quite _ the distraction.~” he brushed your hair back gently.

Laughing a little, you kissed him, “And I’m all yours.”

In the dim light, you could see him darken. Magenta, probably. He returned the kiss, nuzzling you.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you stroked his cheek softly.

You were wrapped in his arms, cozy and content. Exhausted, sure, but also  _ overwhelmingly _ satisfied. A hand came up to cradle yours and he pressed a kiss to your palm. It was quiet, hushed. You held one another in the gentle darkness until sleep finally overcame you both.

This was peace.

This was home. 


End file.
